Class Book Copyrights COPYRIGHT DEPOSre THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT A COMEDY IN FOUR ACTS BY J^L^^ COUNT LYO£ TOLSTOI 4 v^7 eAuttioriied Edition NEW YORK UNITED STATES BOOK COMPANY SUCCESSORS TO JOHN W. LOVELL COMPANY 150 WORTH ST., COTS. MISBIOX PLACE •2,-5 (» u V6 3ft Copyright, 1891, BY UNITED STATES BOOK COMPANY. ■3 DKAMATIS PEESONvE. Leonidas Feodorovitch Zvezdeentseff. A retired lieutenant of the horse-guards, the owner of twenty-four thousand acres of land in various parts of Russia. A fresh, healthy man of about sixty years of age, mild, affable, gentle- manly. He believes in Spiritualism, and takes a delight in astonishing others with his wonderful tales. Anna Pavlovna Zvezdeentseff, his wife. A stout, youngish- looking lady whose main interest in life lies in the ob- servance of the proprieties of fashionable life. She despises her husband, and has unbounded faith in her doctor. Irritability is one of her main characteristics. Betsy, their daughter. A fashionable young lady of twenty, with free and easy manners characteristic of the male sex. She uses & pince-nez. She is a coquette and given to inordinate laughter. She speaks very rapidly and very distinctly, compressing her lips like a foreign lady. Basil Leoniditch, their son. A youth of twenty-five, a graduate of the Law Faculty, without any definite occu- pation, member of a bicycle club, a jockey club, and of a society for the improvement of harriers. He is a youth of blooming health and never-failing self-confidence. He speaks in a loud tone of voice, and by fits and starts. He is either thoroughly serious, almost gloomy, or else boisterously gay, and his laugh is almost uproarious. Alexis Vladimirovitch Krooglosvetloff. A professor and savant of fifty, of quiet, self-possessed manners, and slow silvery speech. He is of a communicative turn. Those 6 DRAMATIS PEBSOJST^J. who differ from him he treats with mild, gentlemanly contempt ; is an inordinate smoker. He is rather thin, but wiry and active. The Doctor. A stout, thriving, rubicund individual, with a voice of thunder and rather unrefined manner, who is always wearing a self-satisfied smile. Mary Konstantinovna. A girl of twenty, a pupil of the Academy of Music ; gives music lessons herself ; wears her hair in a fringe that falls over her forehead ; dresses according to the latest fashion, and always overdoes it somewhat ; is obsequious and bashful. Petrishtsheff. A youth of twenty-eight who has taken his degree in the Philological Faculty ; is looking out for a social position, belongs to all the clubs and societies of which Basil Leoniditch is a member, and to the society for the promotion of cotton and calico balls,* besides. He is bald, very sprightly and vivacious both in move- ments and in speech, and excessively polite. The Baroness. A lady of great importance, slow and gradual in her movements, who speaks without intonation. A Married Princess. A fashionable lady of the world — a guest. A Young Princess. A young lady of the world, given to mak- ing grimaces — also a guest. A Countess. An ancient lady who moves about with extraor- dinary difficulty, and wears false curls and artificial teeth. Grossman. A darkish man of the Hebrew type, very lively and nervous ; he speaks in a loud tone of voice. Mary Vassilievna Tollbookhin. A stout, rich, good-hu- mored and consequential lady, who is acquainted with all * I.e., Balls at which the fair sex dispense with ordinary ball dress, on the principle that beauty requires no adventitious setting off, and appears in everyday apparel. DRAMATIS PERSONS. 7 remarkable men, living and dead. She is very corpulent, speaks hurriedly, and always strives to outspeak every- body else. She smokes. Babon Klingen (Koko). A graduate of the University of St. Petersburg, gentleman of the Emperor's bedchamber, attache at the embassy. Perfectly correct in all things, he is always at ease, and in a subdued way is ever cheer- ful. A Lady. Who is silent throughout the play. Sergius Ivanovitch Sakhatoff. An elegant individual of fifty, formerly Under-Secretary of State, of wide European culture ; has no occupation, but takes a deep interest in everything. He carries himself with dignity and with a certain austerity of manner. Feodor Ivanitch, the valet. A man of about sixty, fairly well educated, who has a taste for education, makes much too frequent use of his pince-nez and of his pocket handkerchief, which he is continually unfolding. Takes an interest in politics. On the whole, an intelligent, well-meaning man. Gregory, the lackey. A man of twenty-eight, profligate, en- vious, handsome, and daring. James, the butler. A man of forty. Fussy, good-humored, caring only about the family incidents of his native vil- lage. Simon, the butler's assistant. A peasant of twenty, healthy, fresh, light-haired ; as yet beardless ; quiet, smiling. The Coachman, thirty -five years old. A dandy ; impudent and resolute. Has a moustache, but no beard. A Man Cook, of forty-five. Kagged, unshaven, bloated, sal- low, quaking, in a torn nankeen overcoat and soiled pants, in slippers. Speaks huskily ; his words leave his mouth as if they had to clear a barrier before reaching the listener. Female Cook. A talkative, dissatisfied woman of thirty. 8 BEAM AT IB PERSONS. The Doorkeeper. Who is a discharged soldier. Tanya, the maid-servant. A strong, energetic, cheerful girl of nineteen, of a very capricious disposition. In mo- ments of violent and joyful excitement she yells. 1st Peasant. A man of sixty. Was Elder of the peasants ; fancies he knows how to conduct himself when in the presence of gentlemen, and likes to hear himself speak. 2d Peasant. A saucy but conscientious man, who has his own homestead. Chary of his words. He is Simon's father. 3d Peasant. A man of seventy, in bast shoes. Nervous, restless, precipitate. Hides his timidity by means of conversation. 1st Groom of the Countess. A patriarchal old man with a lackey's pride. 2d Groom. A huge, healthy, coarse piece of manhood. A Clerk from the shop ; in a dark blue blouse. Clean, rosy face. Speaks firmly, persuasively, and distinctly. The action takes place in St. Petersburg, in the house of the Zvezdeentseffs. THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. ACT I. Antechamber of a rich house in Moscow, which has three doors : the outer one, another leading to Leonidas Feo dorovitch's study, and a third leading into Basil Leoniditch's room. A staircase leading to the inner apartments ; behind it a passage into the pantry. Scene I. — Gregory, a young and handsome lackey, is seen eying and titivating himself before the mirror. Greg. An awful pity it is that I am deprived of mus- tachios. A lackey, if you please, must not cultivate mustachios. And why not? That people may know he's a lackey. Otherwise he might outshine the mis- tress's own dear son. Outshine him, indeed ! Though I lack mustachios, I could give points to that sweet youth. [Glances at himself with a complacent smile.] What a crowd of nice girls run after me and pay me court ! Not one of the whole lot takes my fancy like Tanya, there. A simple chambermaid ! And yet she can hold her own with any young lady. [Smiles.] Yes, and isn't she charming ! [Listens.] Here she comes. [Smiling.] How briskly she trips along, the enchan- tress ! Hay ! 10 THE FEUITS OF EXLIGHTENMENT. Scene II. — Gregory and Tanya, with a fur cloak and fancy boots. Greg. To Miss Tanya my profound respect and greet- ing ! Tanya. . Why are you eternally looking at yourself in the glass ? You must fancy yourself a fascinating young man. Greg. Well, and am I so terribly ugly ? Tanya. Neither fascinating nor ugly. But half-way betwixt and between. What are the furs hanging there for? Greg. I'll put them up, my lady, at once. [Takes down a fur cloak and envelops Tanya in it.] Tanya, dear, listen to what I've got to say to you. Tanya. Keep yourself to yourself. What do you mean by running after me in that way ? [Angrily tears herself away from him.] I tell you to let me be ! Greg. [Looking cautiously around.] Give me a kiss, Tanya. Tanya. What do you mean by this conduct ? I'll give you such a kiss, if you don't take care [Raises her hand and aims a blow at his face, but misses. Basil Leoniditch rings his bell in his room and shouts — Gregory !] Tanya. There's Basil Leoniditch calling you. Greg. He can wait. He has only rubbed his eyes by this time. Now, listen, Tanya, tell me why you don't love me. Tanya. What love are you dreaming about ? I love nobody. Greg. Come now, that's a fib. You love Simon, THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 11 And a splendid choice you've made, too. The butler ! an awkward, heavy clod -hopper ! Tanya. He's as good as God made him. It's you who are envious. Basil Leon. [From his room.] Gregory ! Greg. Take your time. [To Tanya.] He's a likely youth for me to envy ! You have only just begun your education, and here you are already hobnobbing with — with whom ? How different things would be if it was me you loved. Tanya, dear Tanya. [Curtly.] I tell you you are only wasting your time. Basil Leon. [From his room.] Gregory ! Greg. You are awfully straight-laced in your be- havior. Basil Leon. [Shouting from his room unceasingly, mo- notonously, and with all his strength.] Gregory! Greg- ory ! Gregory ! [Tanya and Gregory burst out laughing.] Tanya. You'd better go to him and leave me alone. Greg. Well, you are a silly girl. I'm not Simon. Tanya. Simon means marriage and none of your tom- foolery. Scene IH. — Gregory, Tanya, and a Clerk ivho is carrying a large pasteboard box with a dress inside. Clerk. Good-morning ! Greg. Good-morning! Whom is this from ? Clerk. From Bourdet's ; and here's a note for the mistress. Tanya. [Taking the note.] Sit down. I'll take it in. [Exit. 12 THE FBUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. Scene IV. — The same, and Basil Leoniditch emerging from the half-opened door, in shirt and slippers. Basil Leon. Gregory ! Greg. Coming ! Basil Leon. Gregory ! Is it possible you are stone deaf? Greg. I've only just come, sir. Basil Leon. Bring hot water and tea. Greg. Simon will fetch them directly, sir. Basil Leon. And what's this ? From Bourdet's ? Clerk. Yes, sir, from Bourdet's. [Exeunt Basil Leoniditch and Gregory. The bell rings.] Scene V. — The Clerk and Tanya, who runs in at the sound of the bell, and opens the door. Tanya. [To the Clerk.] Wait a little. Clerk. I'm doing that as it is. Scene VI. — The foregoing and Sakhatoff, who enters the door. Tanya. I'm very sorry, but the lackey has just gone for a moment. But won't you come in ? Allow me, please. [Taking of his fur coat.] Sakh. [Putting himself to rights.] Is Leonidas Feo- dorovitch at home? Is he up? [The bell rings.] Tanya. Oh, certainly, long ago, sir. THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 13 Scene VII. — The foregoing. The Doctor enters. Doctor. [Looks around for the lackey. As soon as he perceives Sakhatoff he turns to him, and speaking in a free and easy way.] Ah ! my best respects. Sakh. [Looking steadfastly at him.] The doctor, I believe ? Doctor. Why, I thought you were abroad. Dropped in upon Leonidas Feodorovitch ? Sakh. Yes. And you, too ? Is there anyone ill ? Doctor. [Smiling.] Not exactly ill ; but you know what terrible creatures ladies are. She, for instance, sits up every night till three o'clock in the morning at the card-table, playing screw,* and she tortures herself in order to be able to sport a wasp's waist, stout and heavily built though she is. And I need not tell you that she is not precisely in the prime of youth. Sakh. Are you as frank as that when you are giving Anna Pavlovna herself your diagnosis? Sincerity in that case is a virtue she scarcely relishes, I imagine. Doctor. [Smiling.] Well, it's a fact, you know. It's the old story. And after playing all these and a hun- dred other pranks, we hear of the digestion being out of order, of a heavy pressure on the liver, of the nerves being in rebellion, and heaven knows what more — and then comes the doctor's turn ; he has to put all these things to rights again as best he may. It's a positive * Russian — vmt. A very complicated and a very fascinating game of cards, invented in Siberia, where time lies heavy on the hands of tschinovrichs, merchants and farmers, especially in win- ter. 14 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. calamity to have anything to do with these ladies. [Laughs.'] Well, and what are you up to ? You, too, are a spiritist of the spiritists, I believe ? Sakh. I ? No, I am not a spiritist of the spiritists. . . . Good-morning ! [Is about to go, but the Doctor stops him.] Doctor. No, but you know, I don't entirely deny it either, when people like Kroogosvetloff have a hand in it. By no means. He is a professor, a European ce- lebrity. There is undoubtedly something in it. I have often wished to have a look at the phenomena and form an opinion for myself on the subject, but I have been always prevented by one thing or another. Sakh. Quite so, quite so. Good-morning ! [Exit, slightly saluting the Doctor as he goes.] Doctor. [To Tanya.] Is she up? Tanya. In the bedroom. Please come up. [Sakhatoff and the Doctor leave the room by opposite doors.] Scene VIII. — The Clerk, Tanya, and Feodor Ivanitch, who enters with the newspaper in his hand. Feod, Ivan. [To the Clerk.] Who are you ? Clerk. I'm from Bourdet's. I've come with the dress and with a note ; and I've been told to wait. Feod. Ivan. Ah! from Bourdet's. [To Tanya.] Who was that that came in a moment ago ? Tanya. Sergius Ivanitch Sakhatoff and the Doctor. They stayed a few minutes here and chatted together. It was all about spiritualism. Feod. Ivan. [Correcting her.] About spiritualism. TEE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 15 Tanya. Yes, that's what I'm saying, about spr 'dual- ism. Did you hear, Feodor Ivanitch, how well it all went off last time? [Laughs.] There was no end of knocks and thumps, and didn't the things fly about in style ! My ! Feod. Ivan. How do you know that ? Tanya. Elizabeth Leonidovna told me all about it. Scene IX. — Foregoing and James, the Butler, who rushes in with a glass of tea. James. [To Clerk.] Good-morning. Clerk:. [Mournfully.] Good-morning, [James knocks at Basil Leoniditch's door.] Scene X. — Foregoing and Gregory. Greg. Give it here. James. You have not yet brought back the glasses you took yesterday, nor the tray either, from Basil Leon- iditch. I shall be questioned about them. Greg. He has cigars on the tray. James. Well, and can't you take them off and put them elsewhere? It's me that's got to be responsible for them. Greg. All right, I'll bring them back. James. That's just it. You are always saying " I'll bring them back," but they're not brought back yet, for all that. They were missed a short time ago, and I had nothing to serve the tea things on. Greg. I'll fetch them, I tell you. What a fuss you do make ! 16 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. James. It's easy for you to talk in that way ; but look here, that's the third time as I've had to serve the tea and the lunch. It's all one rush and run, from morning to night and from night to morning. Is there anyone in the whole house that's got more to do than myself ? And there's no pleasing them, no matter what you do. I'm not worth my salt, if you believe what they say. Greg. Ain't you, now ? You're a precious acquisition, that's what you are. Who could be better? Tanya. [To Gregory.] No one is worth anything in your eyes. There's nobody but yourself that Greg. [To Tanya.] Your opinion was not asked. [Exit. Scene XI. — Tanya, James, Clerk, and Feodor Ivanitch. James. It doesn't matter. I'm sure I'm not offended. Miss Tanya, the mistress didn't say anything about yes- terday's business, eh ? Tanya. You mean about the lamp ? James. And how it slipped from my hands, God only knows. I was wiping it at the time, and was going to catch it with my other hand, when all of a sudden it leaped away, like, and was shivered in pieces before my eyes. It's all my ill-luck. It's all well enough for him, for Michael Michailovitch, I mean, to talk as he does. He is alone, with his life in his hands ; but how would it be if he had a family to hang on to him ? There's no shaking that off. You've got to think and puzzle your brains how you'll keep them from starving ? I'm not afraid of work, I'm not. So she said nothing about it ? THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 17 God be praised for that same. And the spoons, Feodor Ivanitch, how many have you, two or one ? Feodor Ivan. One, one. [Beads the newspaper. Exit James.] Scene XII. — Tanya, Feodor Ivanitch, and Clerk. The ringing of a bell is audible. Enter Gregory, with a tray, and the Doorkeeper. Doorkeeper. [To Gregory.] Tell the master that peas- ants from the country wish to see him. Greg. [Pointing to Feodor Ivanitch.] Tell it to him there, that's his business ; I have no time for such . things. [Exit. Scene XIII. — Foregoing, with the exception of Gregory. Tanya. Where are the peasants from ? Doorkeeper. From the Government of Kursk, I'm told. Tanya. [With a kind of howl] It's themselves It's Simon's father come about the land. I'll go and meet them. [Buns out.] Scene XIV. — The foregoing, except Tanya Doorkeeper. What are your instructions ? Am I to admit them in here, or what am I to do with them ? They tell me they've come about some land, and that the master knows all about it. Feod. Ivan. Yes, about buying land. That's it. There's 2 18 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. a visitor in his room just now. Ill tell you what you had better do : tell them to wait. Doorkeeper. Where are they to wait ? Feod. Ivan. Let them wait in the yard, and then 111 send round to them. [The Doorkeeper goes out.] Scene XV. — Feodor Ivanitch and Tanya, followed by three Peasants ; Gregory and the Clerk. Tanya. To the right. This way, this way ! Feod. Ivan. I gave orders that they were not to come in here. Greg. Right you were, fidget ? Tanya. There's no harm done, Feodor Ivanitch, they will stand in the corner there. Feod. Ivan. They'll trample on the floor and make a nice mess. Tanya. They rubbed their feet. Besides, I'll rub the floor afterward. [To the Peasants.] Stand there. [The Peasants enter, bringing as presents, rolled up in hand- kerchiefs, sweet Easter loaves, eggs, towels. They hole around for an icon before which to cross themselves. Seeing none, they turn their faces toward the staircase and make the sign of the cross. They salute Feodor Ivanitch and then firmly take their stand.] Greg. [To Feodor Ivanitch.] Feodor Ivanitch! People talk about fancy patent boots being made by Pironnet, but you just cast your eyes on the pretty little moccasins that that fellow has got his feet covered with. [He points to the third Peasant in clumsy bast shoes.] THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 19 Feod. Ivan. Can't you find something better to do than to laugh at other people ? [Exit Gregory.] Scene XVI. — Tanya, Feodor Ivanitch, and the three Peasants. Feod. Ivan. [Rising. and approaching the Peasants.] So you are come from Kursk, to arrange about buying land? - 1st Peas. That's just it. The establishment, belikes, of arrangements concerning the termination of the sale of land — that's what our business surmounts to. How should it be announced, like ? Feod. Ivan. That's all right. Leave it to me. You just wait here, and I'll tell the master. [Exit. Scene XVII. — Tanya and the three Peasants. Behind the scene Basil Leoniditch. The Peasants look around them, but cannot decide ivhere to put their presents. 1st Peas. How shall I express it, so to say, the thing you hand it round on ; so that it looks genteel like. Not concisely a saucer, is it ? Tanya. Directly, directly. Give them here. For the moment let's put them here. [Places them on the sofa.] 1st Peas. Now, what might be his station, for example, the gentleman as came up to us ? Tanya. He's the valyet. 1st Peas. A straight, honest situation is a valyet's. He orders and arranges, too, I see. [To Tanya.] And 20 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. now, would you be one of them, too, as is in service here ? Tanya. I'm the maidservant, I'm from Demensk as well as yourselves, don't you know. I know you, and you — only this good man I don't happen to know. [Pointing to the 3d Peasant.] 3d Peas. You rockonized them there, and me you don't rockonize? Tanya. You are Euthymus Antonitch ? 1st Peas. There you've verified me, you have. Tanya. And you are Simon's parent, Zacharias Tri- phonitch ? 2d Peas. Right! 3d Peas. And my name will be Dmitry Chillikin. You rockonize me now ? Tanya. Now we shall know you too. 2d Peas. Whose girl might you be ? Tanya. Aksinia's, the soldier's wife. An orphan. 1st and 3d Peas. [With astonishment.'] Is it possible? 2d Peas. It's not for nothing that they say : Buy a sucking-pig for a penny, turn it into rye, and you've got a fat porker. 1st Peas. A most voracious saying. You've a sound- ing resemblance to a mamzelle, you have. 3d Peas. That's about it. O Lord, O Lord ! Basil Leon. [Behind the scene, rings the bell, and then shouts out.] Gregory! Gregory! 1st Peas. Who might that be, for example, as ruffles and perturbs himself in that fashion ? Tanya. That's the young master. 3d Peas. O Lord ! I said we had better wait outside, till we were brought in. [Silence.] THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 21 2d Peas. It's you as Simon's taking to wife, isn't it ? Tanya. Did he write home that he was ? [Covers her face ivith Iter apron.] 2d Peas. He must have, if I know it. But it's not fol- lies of that kind he should be filling his mind with. The fellow is getting spoiled, I see. Tanya. [Vivaciously.] No, he's not getting spoiled. Would you like me to send him to you ? 2d Peas. Why send him all of a sudden ? Give us time. We're not in a hurry to go back yet. [Basil Leoniditch is heard desperately shouting out at the top of his voice.] Gregory ! Gregory ! the devil take you! Scene XVIII. — The foregoing. Basil Leoniditch is seen standing at the half-opened door in his shirt, adjusting his pince-nez. Basil Leon. Are you all dead ? Tanya. He's not here, sir. ... I will send him to you directly. [Moves toward the door.] Basil Leon. I hear a conversation going on. What scarecrows are those there ? Eh ? Tanya. They are peasants, sir, from the government of Kursk. Basil Leon. [Looking at the Clerk.] And who's that? Oh, he's from Bourdet's. [TJie Peasants make a low bow. Basil Leoni- ditch does not vouchsafe them the least notice. Gregory meets Tanya at the door. Tanya remains.] 22 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. Scene XIX. — The foregoing and Geegory. Basil Leon. I told you I wanted the other boots. I can't wear these. Greg. The others are standing there too. Basil Leon. Where, there ? Greg. There. Basil Leon. You lie ! Greg. Well, you'll see they are. [Exeunt Basil Leoniditch and Gregory. Scene XX. — The foregoing, except Basil Leoniditch and Gregory. 3d Peas. I am thinking it's better we were gone from here, and well come again. It's not the right time now, don't you see ? Tanya. No, don't stir. Wait a while. I'll bring you a plate for your presents. [Exit. Scene XXI. — Tlie foregoing, Sakhatoff, Leonidas Feodor- ovttch, and after them Feodor Ivanitch. The Peasants gather up their presents and stand in a row, in position. Leon. Feod. [To the Peasants.] Directly, directly. Wait a bit. [To the Clerk.] What's this ? Clerk. From Bourdet's. Leon. Feod. Ah ! from Bourdet's. Sakh. [Smiling.'] Oh, of course, I am far from de- nying it ; but you will allow that for one of us profane THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 23 t people, who have never witnessed the wonders you re- late, it is no easy matter to believe. Leon. Feod. You say you cannot believe. We don't require that you should. It is investigation, not belief that we are asking for. For instance, it is impossible for me not to believe in the existence of this ring. And yet this ring was received by me from there. Sakh. What do you understand by "from there?" Where did you get it from ? Leon. Feod. From the other world. Yes, I assure you, it's a fact. Sakh. [Smiling.] It is very interesting, very inter- esting. Leon. Feod. As for me, insignificant individual that I am, you may naturally enough look upon me as a vis- ionary deluding myself with a belief in the reality of things that are not. But surely that will not apply to Alexis Vladimirovitch Krooglosvetloff. I think you will scarcely go so far as to put him on a level with the man in the street — he is a learned professor, and yet he ad- mits the truth of all that. And remember he is not alone. What do you say to Crookes, to Wallace? Sakh. Oh, I don't dispute it in the least, I only say that it is very interesting. I should very much like to know how Krooglosvetloff explains it. Leon. Feod. He has his own theory on the subject. But you just drop in this evening ; he is sure to be here. First of all, Grossman will be here — you know, the celebrated thought-reader. Sakh. Yes, I have heard of him, but I never saw him yet. Leon, Feod, So much the better ; the stronger the 24 THE FBUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. reason for coming this evening. Grossman will come first ; then Kaptshitsh, and afterward our mediumistic seance will begin. [ To Feodor Ivanitch.] Has the messenger come back who was sent to Kaptshitsh? Feod. Ivan. Not yet, sir. Sakh. How shall I know ? Leon. Feod. Come in any case. If Kaptshitsh doesn't turn up we shall have our own medium. Mary Ignati- evna is a medium ; not quite such a powerful one as Kaptshitsh, but still Scene XXH. — The foregoing and Tanya, who enters with plates for the presents. She listens to the conversa- tion. Sakh. [Smiling.] Yes, I know. But just tell me this. How is it that all mediums are members of the cultivated classes ? Kaptshitsh and Mary Ignatievna, for instance. If mediumism is a real force it ought to be found everywhere among the people, among the peasants as well as the rest. Leon. Feod. And that is the case. It often happens that we have but one peasant in our house, and he has turned out to be a medium. The other day we sent for him during a seance. We wanted to move the sofa, and we had forgotten all about him. He had probably fallen asleep. And would you believe it, our seance was over, Kaptshitsh was awake, and suddenly, without a note of warning, we observed mediumistic phenomena at the other end of the room : the table stirred and moved forward. Tanya. [Aside.] That was when I crept from under it. THE FBUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 25 Leon. Feod. It is evident that he, too, is a medium ; the more so that his face bears a striking resemblance to Hume's. You recollect Hume, the light-haired naive man ? Sakh. [Shrugging his shoulders.'] Really, really? It's awfully interesting, you know. Why don't you test his powers ? Leon. Feod. We do test them. Besides, he is not the only one. There are no end of mediums, my dear fellow, only we don't just happen to know them. For instance, it is only a few days since that an elderly woman moved a stone wall. Sakh. Moved a stone — a stone wall? Leon. Feod. Precisely. She was tying in bed, and had not the faintest suspicion that she was a medium. She simply leant her arm against the wall and it moved some distance off. Sakh. And did not tumble down ? Leon. Feod. And did not tumble down. Sakh. It is strange ! All right, then, I'll be with you this evening. Leon. Feod. Do come, old boy, don't forget. What- ever else may happen, there is sure to be a seance. [Sakhatoff puts on his overcoat. Leonidas Feodorovitch accompanies him.] Scene XXHI. — The foregoing, with the exception of Sakhatoff. Clerk. [To Tanya.] Tell the mistress I'm here. Am I expected to pass the night in this house ? Tanya. Wait a little. Her ladyship is going out for a 26 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. drive with the young lady ; so she will be here in a minute. [Exit Scene XXIV. — The same, excepting Tanya. Leon. Feod. [Approaching the Peasants, who make a low bow and offer him the presents they have brought.'] I don't want these things ! 1st Peas. [Smiling.] That is our first obligation and primeval duty, as it were. Just as the Commune in- structed us. 2d Peas. It's always done in these cases. 3d Peas. Don't mention it ! Because as we, so to say, are very satisfied As you parents, as the saying is, served your parents, so to say, so is it our best wishes from the bottom of our heart, like, not as if [Makes a low bote] Leon. Feod. What is it that you have come about ? What are your wishes ? 1st Peas. We've come to your honor, as it were. Scene XXV. — Hie foregoing and Peteishtsheff, who rushes in breathless, in a mantle of military cut. Petr. Is Basil Leoniditch awake ? [Perceiving Leonidas Feodorovitch, he nods a salutation to him.] Leon. Feod. You want to see my son ? Petr. I? Yes, I've come for a moment to see Vovo. Leon. Feod. Come in, come in. [Petrishtsheff takes off his mantle and goes rapidly into Basil's room.] THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 27 Scene XXVI. — The foregoing, excepting Petiushtsheff. Leon. Feod. [To the Peasants.] Yes, I see. Well, then, what is that you want ? 2d Peas. Take our presents. 1st Peas. [Smiling.] It signifies that they are what the village offers you. 3d Peas. Don't mention it. It's nothing to make much ado about. We look on you as a father, belike. Don't mention it. Leon. Feod. Well, I suppose there's nothing for it Feodor, take these things. Feodor Ivan. Give them here. [Takes the presents.'] Leon. Feod. Now let's come to business. What's it all about? 1st Peas. We've come to your honor. Leon. Feod. How am I to understand you ? You are buying land, I take it? 1st Peas. Identicately, as you've expressed it. It comes to pass, consequentially regarding the purchase of propiortary rights in the land. So that the Com- mune, as it were, authorizes and authenticates us, for example, to enter into poor parlors, as by law estab- lished through the Imerpial bank, affixing thereunto a revenue stamp with the date aforesaid. Leon. Feod. In other words, you want to buy land through the bank. Is that it ? 1st Peas. Exactly, as in the summer you proposed to offer. The upshot of which, as it were, is the entire sum in its totality, amounting to 32,864 roubles, for the acresition of the rights of proprietor. 28 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. Leon. Feod. That is right enough, but how about the payment of that sum ? 1st Peas. The payment, the Commune suggests to propose that in ready money should be paid down 4,000 roubles, to the last copeck, the rest in 'stalments as was established by propersition last summer, as it were. 2d Peas. Take your 4,000 now, that is to say, and wait for the rest. 3d Peas. [Spreading out the rouble notes.] You may rest easy in hopes, we pledge ourselves, rather than anything of that kind, that we should turn round and say so and so, belikes, but we will, you may trust— — - as we are in bounden duty. Leon. Feod. Yes, but I wrote to you and stated dis- tinctly that I am not willing to do business with you until you have got the whole sum together. 1st Peas. It's perfectly voracious that that would be more pleasant, but it is not within the grounds of possi- bility. Leon. Feod. What's to be done ? 1st Peas. The Commune was sanguinary in the pre- sumption that the proposition last summer that in 'stal- ments the sum Leon Feod. That was last year. I consented then. I cannot do so now. 2d Peas. How's that ? You promised, and we got the papers ready and scraped the money together. 3d Peas. Be merciful unto us, father. Our land is scanty. No place to turn a cow or a horse into, no, nor a hen, for the matter of that. [Makes a low bow.] Don't commit a sin, father. [Bows low.] THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 29 Leon. Feod. It's quite true that I consented last sum- mer to accept the price in part payments spread over a considerable time, but that was owing to a peculiar circumstance It would be inconvenient for me to do so now. 2d Peas. Without that land we might just as well de- prive ourselves of life. 1st Peas. Veridically so. Our subsistence will other- wise decline and decay. 3d Peas. [Bowing low.] Father, our land is scanty. No place to turn a cow or a horse into, no, nor a hen, for the matter of that. Father, be merciful unto us. Take the money, father. Leon. Feod. [Looking at the document.] I understand all that perfectly well, and I am anxious myself to do you a good turn. Wait a little. I'll give you a reply in half an hour. Feodor, say I'm not at home to anyone. Feod. Ivan. Very well, sir. [Exit Leon. Feod. Scene XXVII. — The foregoing, excepting Leonid as Feo- dorovitch. The Peasants visibly depressed. 2d Peas. A nice job it is. Fork out every copeck of it, he says. But where are you to get it from ? 1st Peas. If only he hadn't conspired us with hope last summer. But we were sanguinary that it was the proposition he made in summer. 3d Peas. O Lord ! And there was me smoothing out the money. [Folding wp the banknotes.] And now, what are we going to do ? Feod. Ivan. What is it all about ? 1st Peas. The whole transaction is contagient, belike, 30 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. on this. He offered last summer to wait for the money. The Commune deliverated over it and authorized us. And now he demands the whole sum in its totality. And the consurmation of the enterprise becomes an im- possibility. Feod. I fan. Have you much money to offer him? 1st Peas. The whole amount, four thousand roubles, now ready for exceptation. Feod. Ivan. What's the difficulty ? Save up again and collect till you've got enough. 1st Peas. As it is, we collected very vehemently. There's not much gunpowder in your reflections, sir. 2d Peas. If you haven't got the money, you can't spin it with your teeth. 3d Peas. We'd be only too happy, from the .bottom of our hearts, and we may say as what it was with the broom, belike, that we swept together what we've got here to give him. Scene XXVIII. — The foregoing, Basil Leoniditch, and Petkishtsheff. [At the door, both smoking cigarettes.] Basil Leon. I have already said I would. I will do my best. I will leave no stone unturned. But why ? Petr. Take my word for it, if you don't get it by hook or by crook — well, the devil only knows what a bad business it will be. Bas. Leon. I told you I would do my very best, and I will. But why so ? Petk. Oh, it does not signify. I'm only saying that you should get it at any price. I'll wait. [Exit, closing the door after him. THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 31 Scene XXIX. — The foregoing , without Petrishtsheff. Basil Leon. [Waving his hand.] D — it, it is an abominable bore. [The Peasants bow low to him.] Basil Leon. [Looking at the Clerk, to Feodor Ivan- itch.] Why don't you let this man from Bourdet's go about his business ? Has he moved into our house for good? Look there, he's fast asleep. What have you got to say? Feod. Ivan. He had a note ; it was handed in and he was ordered to wait. When Anna Pavlovna leaves her room, he will be attended to. Basil Leon. [Looking at the Peasants and wistfully ey- ing the money.'] What's this ? Money, eh ? Whom is it for? Is that money for us? [To Feodor Ivanitch.] Who are these? Feod. Ivan. Peasants from Kursk ; they are come to buy land. Basil Leon. Has it been sold to them ? Feod. Ivan. No, not yet. They are acting niggardly and won't pay down the money at once. Basil Leon. Ah ! I must talk them over. [To the Peasants.] You are buying, eh ? 1st Peas. We are negotiating the proposition of the acresition of propriortary rights in the possession of the land. Basil Leon. Well, then, don't go about it in a miserly way. Believe me, you have no idea how necessary the land is to the peasants. What do you think, eh ? It is extremely necessary. 1st Peas. Undoubtedly, indeed, land is the very first 32 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. and foremost foundational want of the peasant. That's sure enough. Basil Leon. You see that, now. Well, then, don't be close-fisted. What is land ? You can sow wheat in ridges, on it, you know. Three hundred poods* you can sow, a rouble a pood, three hundred roubles. How does that strike you ? Or else mint, if you prefer it, to the tune of a thousand roubles the acre ! 1st Peas. That is very undisputable, all cattlegorries of products you can sow, if you are possessed of the conception how to operate on it. Basil Leon. Decidedly mint. I studied all about that in books, you know. It is printed in books. I'll show it to you. What do you say now ? 1st Peas. We are convicted that all what's impertain- ing to books is best beknown to you — erringdition, as it's called. Basil Leon. Well then, buy. Don't be mean, but pay the money down. [To Feodok Ivanitch.] Where is papa? Feod. Ivan. In his study. He gave orders that he was not to be disturbed. Basil Leon. He is probably inquiring of the spirit whether he should sell the land or not, eh ? Feod. Ivan. That I'm unable to say. I know he was undecided when he went to his room. Basil Leon. What do you think, Feodor Ivanitch, is he flush of money now ? Feod. Ivan. I can't say. I should think not. But why need you care ? It's only last week that you had a rather large pile for yourself. * A pood is a Russian weight equivalent to about thirty-three English pounds. THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 33 Basil Leon. You know I spent that on the dogs. And here now is our new society in full swing ; and Petrisht- 3heff is elected ; and I borrowed money of him, and now I've got to pay the money for him and for myself. How does that strike you ? Feod. Ivan. What new society is that ? The Bicycle Club? Basil Leon. No ; I'll tell you directly. It's a new so- ciety. An extremely serious society, I may say. And do you know who is president ? Eh ? Feod. Ivan. What is it for, what are its objects ? Basil Leon. A society for the encouragement of the breeding of ancient canine Kussian dogs. How does that strike you ? What's more, to-day the first meeting and lunch come off. But, hang it, I'm out of money. I'll go to him to see whether I can raise anything there. [Exit. Scene XXX. — The Peasants, Feodor Ivanitch, and the Clerk. 1st Peas. [To Feodor Ivanitch.] Who might that gen- tleman be ? Feod. Ivan. [Smiling.] The young master. 3d Peas. The heir, you may say. O Lord ! [Hides the money.] Better put it up, I can see, for the present. 1st Peas. They told us he was a military officer in the service of the cavalry, as it were. Feod. Ivan. No ; as an only son he is exempt from military service. 3d Peas. Left at home, that is, to maintain his pa- rents. That is what it is. 3 34 THE FRUITS DF ENLIGHTENMENT. 2d Peas. [Shaking his head.] Just the man to main- tain them, that's sure. 3d Peas. Lord ! Scene XXXI. — Feodor Ivanitch, the three Peasants, Basil Leoniditch, who is standing on the threshold along ivith Leonidas Feodorovitch. Basil Leon. The old story. It's always so. Con- foundedly queer it is, too. At one time I'm asked why I'm loafing about doing nothing. And here now, when I've found an occupation and am busy at it — a society is founded, a serious society with noble aims — I am grudged a miserable three hundred roubles.* Leon. Feod. I told you I can't, and I can't. I haven't got the money ; that's the long and the short of it. Basil Leon. Why, you've sold the land, just now. Leon. Feod. In the first place, I did not sell the land ; in the second place, leave me in peace. I told you I have no time now. [Bangs the door.] Scene XXXII. — The foregoing, without Leonidas Feodo- rovitch. Feod. Ivan. I told you that this was not the proper time. Basil Leon. A nice position, I can tell you. Eh? I'll go to mamma — that's my only hope of salvation. Father is going crazy with his spiritualism, he is posi- tively forgetting us all. [Goes upstairs. Feodor Ivanitch sits down to his newspaper.] * Thirty pounds. THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 35 Scene XXXIII. — The foregoing. Betsy and Mary Kon- stantinovna are seen coming downstairs. They are followed by Gregory. Betsy. Is the carriage ready ? Greg. It is being brought up to the door. Betsy. [To Mary Konstantinovna.] Come, come ! I saw that it was himself. Mary Konst. Who is himself ? Betsy. You know well enough that I mean Petrisht- sheff. Mary Konst. Where is he ? Betsy. Sitting in Vovo's room. In a moment you'll see him. Mary Konst. What if it's not himself ? [The Peasants make a loiv bow.'] Betsy. [To the Clerk] Ah, you are from Bourdet's, with the dress ? Clerk. Yes, miss. Do you order it to be taken in, and me to be allowed to go ? Betsy. Oh, that's not my affair. Mamma will see to that. It's for mamma. Clerk. I don't know anything about that, miss. My orders were to deliver it here and get paid for it. Betsy. Very well, wait a while. Mary Konst. Is this the dress we were talking about? The dress for the charade ? Betsy. Yes, a charming costume it is. But mamma won't take it, and doesn't want to pay for it. Mary Konst. Why not ? Betsy. You had better ask her. Five hundred rou- 36 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. bles is a trifle to pay for Vovo's dogs, but a hundred roubles for a costume for me is decreed exorbitant. I cannot play a part in the charade dressed like a scare- crow ! [Pointing to the Peasants.] And who are these ? Greg. Peasants, come to buy some land. Betsy. I took them for huntsmen. You are not sportsmen ? 1st Peas. Not by no means, miss. We are come con- cerning the termination of the sale of the lease of the land to Leonidas Feodorovitch. Betsy. How is that, when I know that sportsmen were to come to Vovo ? Are you quite sure you are not sportsmen? [The Peasants remain silent.'] What block- heads ! [Goes up to the door and shouts.'] Vovo ! [Laughs. Mary Konst. Why, it is only a moment since we met him. Betsy. What need is there of reminding me of that ? Vovo, are you here ? Scene XXXIV. — The foregoing and Petrishtsheff. Petr. Vovo is not here, but I am prepared to act in his name and to execute everything required. Good- morning ! Good-morning, Mary Konstantinovna ! [Shakes Betsy's hand a long time and violent- ly ; then Mary Konstantinovna' s.] 2d Peas. You'd swear he was shaking the handle of a pump. Betsy. You cannot take his place, but still you are better than nothing. [Laughs.] What is this business of yours with Vovo ? THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 37 Petr. Business ? It is business of a financial - mean, that is to say, our business is fie ! and at the same time nancial, and besides that, financial. Betsy. What does nancial mean ? Petr. What a question ! That's the point of the thing that it does not mean anything. Betsy. That's not a successful pun ; not at all success- ful. [Laughs.] Petr. You cannot expect a successful one every time, you know. It is a kind of lottery. It is blank, blank, blank for a time, and then suddenly a prize. [Feodor Ivanitch enters Leoneoas Feodoro- vitch's study.] Scene XXXV. — The foregoing, without Feodor Ivanitch. Betsy. Anyhow, that was not a prize. But tell me, were you at the Mergassoffs yesterday ? Petr. Not so much at the Mere Gassoff as at the Fire Gassoff, and not even the Fere Gassoff, but the Fits Gassoff. Betsy. Can't you possibly get on without a pun ? It's a positive disease. Were the Gypsies * there ? [Laughs.] Petr. [Singing.] " On their aprons cocks with golden combs." Betsy. How lucky you are. W T e were being bored at Fofo's yesterday. Petr. [Continuing to sing.] " And she swore a solemn * Gypsies. These are often invited to sing for the guests at evening parties in St. Petersburg and Moscow. Their repertoire is exceedingly, and not undeservedly, popular. — [Trans.] 38 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. oath she'd be faithful to me." "What's the next line ? Mary Konstantinovna, what's the next line ? Mary Konst. " For a fleeting hour " Petr. What? What, Mary Konstantinovna? [Bursts out laughing.'] Betsy. Cessez, vous devenez impossible. Petr. J'ai cesse, j'ai bebe, j'ai dede Betsy. I know one way to make you leave off pun- ning — that is, to make you sing. Come to Vovo's room ; he has a guitar. Come , Mary Konstantinovna, come along ! [Betsy, Mary Konstantinovna, and Petrisht- sheff enter Basil Leoniditch's room.] Scene XXXVI. — Gregory, the three Peasants, and the Clerk. 1st Peas. W 7 ho might they be ? Greg. One of them is the young lady, the other is the mamzelle who teaches her music. 1st Peas. Promotes her in science, as it were. How tidy she is. A jenny ing portrait. 2d Peas. Why don't they marry her off? She is of age, if I'm not out. Greg. We don't live in the country. Girls don't marry here when they are fifteen. 1st Peas. And that makings of a man — would he be a musician, like ? Greg. A musician like ! . . . You know nothing about these matters. 1st Peas. That's a verity. It's our stupidness and want of eddication. THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 39 3d Peas. O Lord ! [From Basil Leoniditch's room the music of a guitar is audible and the singing of gypsy songs.] Scene XXXVII. — The foregoing and the Clerk. Simon comes in followed by Tanya. Tanya watches carefully the meeting between father and son. Greg. What do you want here ? Simon. I've been sent to Mr. Kaptshitsh. Greg. Well, and what's the answer? Simon. He ordered me to say that he could not possi- bly come to-day. Greg. All right, I'll deliver the message. [Exit. Scene XXXVIII. — The same, without Gregory. Simon. [To his father.'] Hope you're well, father. Best respects, Uncle Ephimius and Uncle Dmitry. All well at home ? 2d Peas. Bight well, Simon. 1st Peas. Well, brother? 3d Peas. Well, lad. Are you alive ? Simon. [Smiling.] Come along, father, let's have some tea. 2d Peas. Wait till we get our hands free. Don't you see we've no time now ? Simon. All right, I'll be waiting for you outside on the steps. [Exit. Tanya. [Running after him.] Why didn't you men- tion it now ? 40 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. Simon. How could I talk of it now before them all ? Give me time. When we go to have a glass of tea, I'll speak of it. [Exit. Scene XXXIX. — The foregoing, without Simon. Feodor Ivanitch" appears and sits down near the window with his newspaper. 1st Peas. Could you say, good sir, how our business is progressing ? Feod. Ivan. Patience ; in a few minutes he will leave his room. He is just finishing. Tanya. [To Feodor IvanitchJ And how do you know, Feodor Ivanitch, that he is finishing? Feod. Ivan. I know because, when all the questions are over, he always reads aloud all the questions and the answers. Tanya. Is it really true, that with a plate you can talk with the spirits ? Feod. Ivan. It must be true, if it's done. Tanya. Well, and if they tell him to sign the paper, he will sign it? Feod. Ivan. Of course he will. Tanya. But they don't talk in words ? Feod. Ivan. With an alphabet. When they stop at a letter, he notes it. Tanya. And how is it he's in a seance ? Scene XL. — The foregoing and Leonidas Feodorovitch. Leon. Feod. Well, my friends, I cannot. I should very much like to, but I cannot. If you bring the full sum, then it will be different. THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 41 1st Peas. That would be the desirablest thing, indeed, you rightly observe, but the people are poor and it's impossible. Leon. Feod. I cannot, I cannot possibly. Here is the document ; I cannot sign it. 3d Peas. Take pity on us, father, have mercy on us ! 2d Peas. Is that a square way of acting ? It's an in- sult, it is. Leon. Feod. It is not an insult, brothers. I told you last summer that if you wanted it done, you ought to do it then. You refused, and now I cannot consent. 3d Peas. Father, have mercy on us ! How are we to live now ? The land is scanty, there's no place to turn a cow or a horse into, no, nor a hen, for the matter of that. [Leonidas Feodokovitch, about to leave the room, stands on the threshold of the door.] Scene XLI. — The foregoing. The Mistress of the house and the Doctor coming downstairs, followed by Basil Leoniditch in a cheerful and playful humor. He is putting money into his purse. Mistress. [Laced up tight ; hat on head,] So I'm to take it. Doctor. If you have a repetition of the symptoms, by all means take it. But above all things, turn over a new leaf. How can you expect a thick syrup to pass through a thin little hair-tube, if we squeeze the tube ? It's im- possible. It's just the same with the biliary duct. It is a very simple thing. Mistress. Very well, very well. 42 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. Doctor. It is always " Very well, very well," and everything goes on as before ; but it cannot always go on like that. No, no, it's impossible. Good-by. Mistress. No, not good-by, but only an revoir. I ex- pect to see you in the evening, you know. Without your presence and advice, I shall not be able to summon up resolution enough. Doctor. All right, all right, if I have time, I'll look in. [Exit. Scene XLII. — The foregoing, without the Doctor. Mistress. [Perceiving the Peasants.] "What's this? what's this ? What people are these ? [The Peasants bow low.] Feod. Ivan. They are peasants from the government of Kursk, come to arrange about buying land of Leoni- das Feodorovitch. Mistress. I can see that they are peasants, but who gave them admittance ? Feod. Ivan. The master himself gave orders. He was here a moment ago, and talked to them about the terms of sale. Mistress. What sale ? It is not at all necessary to sell. But what's infinitely more important than that, how dare anyone allow people to walk in here from the street ? People from off the streets ! How is it possi- ble to admit people into the house who have passed the night — heaven knows where. [Grows more excited.] Every fold of their clothes, I am convinced, is peopled with microbes ; microbes of scarlatina, small-pox mi- crobes, diphtheria microbes ! Why, they are from THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 43 Kursk, actually from the government of Kursk, where there is an epidemic of diphtheria — Doctor, Doctor ! Call back the Doctor ! [Leonidas Feodorovitch goes out, shutting the door behind him. Gregory runs out after* the Doctor.] Scene XLIII. — The foregoing, ivithout Leonidas Feodoro- vitch and Gregory. Basil Leon. [Puffing the smoke of his cigarette in the faces of the Peasants.] Don't worry, mamma, if you like, I will smoke them so thoroughly that the microbes will never survive the operation. How does that strike you? [The Mistress is severely silent, awaiting the Doctor's return.] Basil Leon. [To the Peasants.] Do you fatten swine ? That's a profitable operation, I can tell you ! 1st Peas. Undoubtingly w r e turn our intention to swinish matters at times. Basil Leon. Animals like this ; grunt, grunt ! [Grunts like a pig.] Mistress. Vovo, Vovo, be quiet ! Basil Leon. Is it like the real thing ? How does it strike you ? 1st Peas. Undubiously there's a coinciding resem- blance like. 2d Peas. What's the good of it? 3d Peas. I said it would be far better for us to have waited outside, I did. 44 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. Scene XLIV. — The foregoing, the Doctor, and Gregory. Doctor. Well, what is the matter now ? What has happened ? Mistress. You say I must keep from getting excited. How is that possible, I ask ? I have kept aloof from my sister, refusing to see her, and I keep away from all doubtful visitors most scrupulously. And here, if you please, without word or warning, are people from Kursk, straight from Kursk, where there is an epidemic of diph- theria, who come into the heart of my house ! Doctor. You allude to these Trojans ? Mistress. Yes, straight from a place infected with diphtheria. Doctor. Certainly, if they have come from a district infected with diphtheria, it is rash of them to enter the house ; but still there is no reason why you should worry yourself too much about it. Mistress. But you yourself are always prescribing caution. Doctor. Certainly, no doubt, but still there are no grounds for becoming excited. Mistress. How so? Thorough disinfection is indis- pensable, I presume. Doctor. No, not complete disinfection. That is rather expensive ; three hundred roubles, and probably more. I will satisfy all the requirements of the case more cheaply and more effectually. Take to a large bottle of water Mistress. Boiled water? Doctor. It's all the same. Boiled is better Well, THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 45 take to a large bottle of water a tablespoonful of salicy- lic acid, and give orders that everything be washed thoroughly that came in contact with them. The Tro- jans themselves, of course, you must get rid of at once. That's all. Then you may defy the microbes to do their worst. Yes, you may also sweeten the air with a glass or two of the same liquid through a spray-bottle ; you will then see how fresh and pleasant the air is. Per- fectly safe. No danger! Mistress. Where is Tanya ? Call Tanya. Scene XLV. — The foregoing and Tanya. Tanya. What are } T our orders, ma'am ? Mistress. You know the large bottle in the ■ — room ? Tanya. The one from which the washerwoman was sprinkled yesterday ? Mistress. Quite so ; what other is there ? Well, then, go and take that bottle ; but first of all, wash the place where they are standing with soap, then with this Tanya. Yes, ma'am, I know how. Mistress. Then take the spray bottle — But I shall be home myself by that time, and I will do it myself. Doctor. Do that and have no fear. Good-by, then, till this evening ! [Exit. Scene XL VI. — The foregoing, without the Doctor. Mistress. Turn them out, turn them out. Let the very smell of them vanish from here. Out with you, out. Go, I say ; what are you gazing at ? 1st Peas. It's a fact that we, only in our stupidness like, the proposition made to us 46 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. Greg. [Ushering them out.] Go now, go. 2d Peas. Give me my handkerchief. 3d Peas. O Lord ! I said we had had better wait outside, I did. [Gregory chucks him out.] Scene XLVII. — Mistress, Gregory, Feodor Ivanitch, Tanya, Basil Leoniditch, and the Clerk. Clerk. [After having made several futile attempts to get in a ivord.] Will there be any answer ? Mistress. Ah, you are from Bourdet's? [Groiving excited.] None, none whatever, and you may take it back. I told her that I did not order a costume like that, and that I will not permit my daughter to wear it. Clerk. I do not know anything about that. I have been sent here and I have come. Mistress. Go — go now, and take it away with you. I will call myself. Basil Leon. [Solemnly.] Ambassador from Bourdet's, retrace your steps ! Clerk. You might have said so long ago. I have been five hours waiting here. Basil Leon. Ambassador from Bourdet's, retrace your steps. Mistress. Cease, please. [The Clerk leaves.] Scene XL VIII. — The foregoing, without the Clerk. Mistress. Betsy ! "Where is she ? I always have to wait for her. THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 47 Basil Leon. {Crying out loith all his might.] Betsy! Petrishtsheff ! Come quickly! Quicker! Quicker! How does that strike you? Scene XLIX. — The foregoing, Petrishtsheff, Betsy, and Mary Konstantinoyna. Mistress. I have always got to wait for you. Betsy. On the contrary, it is I who am waiting for you. [Petrishtsheff bows his head only and kisses the Mistress's hand. Mistress. Good-morning! [To Betsy.] You must always have the last word ! Betsy. Mamma, if you are in a bad temper, I had rather not go out at all. Mistress. Are we going out for a drive — yes or no ? Betsy. Yes, I suppose there's nothing for it. Mistress. Did you see the man from Bourdet's ? Betsy. Yes, and I was very glad. I ordered the cos- tume, and will wear it wdien it is paid for. Mistress. I will not pay for it, nor will I allow you to wear an unbecoming costume. Betsy. Why unbecoming ? It was becoming before. You have an attack of prudery now, mamma. Mistress. It is not prudery. Let the bodice be cut differently, and then you may wear it. Betsy. But, mamma, that is entirely out of the ques- tion. Mistress. Put on your clothes. [They sit down. Gregory draws on their boots.'] 48 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. Basil Leon. Mary Konstantinovna ! Do you remark how empty the antechamber is ? Mary Konst. What about it ? [Laughs in anticipation.] Basil Leon. Bourdet's man is gone. How does it strike you ? Isn't it a good one ? [Laughs boisterously.] Mistress. Let us be going. [Passes out at the door, but instantaneously returns.] Tanya ! Tanya. What are your orders, ma'am ? Mistress. See that Fiffka does not catch cold while I am away. If she wants to be let out, you must first put out her yellow dressing-gown. She is not quite well to-day. Tanya. Yes, ma'am. [Exeunt Mistress, Betsy, and Gregory. Scene L. — Petrishtsheff, Basil Leoneditch, Tanya, and Feodor Iyanitch. Petr. Well, did you get it ? Basil Leon. With no end of difficulty, I can tell you. At first I tried my male parent — he whooped and turned me out. Then I repaired to my female parent, and got it. It's here. [Slaps his pocket ] If I once set my mind on a thing, it won't easily elude my grasp — I have the clutch of a dead man. How does that strike you ? To-day I expect to get my wolf-hounds. [Petrishtsheff and Basil Leoniditch put on their over- coats and leave the house. Tanya follows them.] THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 49 Scene LI. — Feodor Ivanitch alone. Feod. Ivan. Yes, nothing but unpleasantness. How is it that they cannot live in harmony? To tell the truth, the young generation is not what it might be. And the kingdom of women? A short while ago, Leon- idas Feodorovitch thought of interfering, but he saw that she was in an ecstacy, and he banged the door. A man of rare goodness ! Yes, of rare goodness What's this? Tanya bringing them back again ! Scene LIT. — Feodor Ivanitch, Tanya, and the three Peasants. Tanya. Go in, go in, my good men. It's all right. Feod. Ivan. What do you mean by bringing them back again ? Tanya. How can I help it, little father, Feodor Ivan- itch ? Something must be done for them. I'll wash the place they stood upon as well after they've been on it twice as once. Feod. Ivan. Nothing will come of it. I can see that very well as it is. 1st Peas. How might it be encompressed, good man, that our business should be concluded to a proper term- ination. You give yourself a little trouble, your honor, in some way, and we will do our part and will offer you presentable gratitude — will get it from the Commune, to undamnify and attribute you for the trouble as you're taking, if belikes, you'll be so good. 3d Peas. Do, my diamond, do your best ; we can't 4 50 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. live if you don't. Too little land, that's how as what's wrong ; no place to turn a cow or a horse into, no, nor a hen, for the matter of that. [They make low bows.] Feod. Ivan. I am awfully sorry for you, brothers, but I'm blessed if I know what to do. I gauge the whole thing pretty well. He refused point blank. What's to be done now ? And the mistress, too, is dead against the sale. I don't see what can be done. But let me have the document — I'll go and try what I can do. Ill ask him to consent. [Exit. Scene LITE. — Tanya and the three Peasants. The latter sigh mournfully. Tanya. Now tell me, my good men, what's the hitch in the business ? 1st Peas. It's only the signature of the affixing of his hand to the document. Tanya. Only that the master should sign the paper ? Is that it ? 1st Peas. Only that he should fix his signature and take the money, and there's an end to it. 3d Peas. Only that he should say : what the peasants wish, I wish the same. And that's the whole business. He takes and writes his name, and it's over. Tanya. Only to write his name? Only to put his name to the paper ? [Reflects.'] 1st Peas. That's truly what it comes to, all is con- taingent from that. Let him write, and there's no more trouble about it. THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 51 Tanya. You just wait till Feodor Ivanitch has tried his hand. If he fails, I have a card to play. 2d Peas. You'll bamboozle him, belike ? Tanya. I'll try. 3d Peas. Well, girl, you're going to bother and worry yourself for us. Mind this, now ; if you bring this thing through, we bind and obligate ourselves all our lives to get you your livelihood from the Commune. That's what we'll do. 1st Peas. If you get it done truly and really, and no nonsense, it's harmonious to reason that we will gild your trouble for you. 2d Peas. That's clear, anyhow. Tanya. I won't promise it for certain. As the saying is : "You never know what you can do " 1st Peas. " Till you try." That's a true saying, as no one will deny. Scene LIV. — The foregoing and Feodor Ivanitch. Feod. Ivan. No, brothers, it's no go. He has not con- sented, and won't consent. Here, take your paper back. Go your ways. There's no chance. 1st Peas. [Takes the paper. To Tanya.] Now we fasten our hopes, as it were, to you. Tanya. Directly, directly. Go away now and wait in the street outside, and I will be out in a minute or two, and will tell you how things are going. [The peasants leave.~\ 52 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. Scene LV. — Feodor Ivanitch and Tanya. Tanya. Feodor Ivanitch, my clove, announce to the master that I wish to see him. I have a word to say to him. Feod. Ivan. What new vagary is this ? Tanya. It's necessary, Feodor Ivanitch. Go and tell him, please, like a good man. There's nothing wrong in it, as God is my witness. Feod. Ivan. What is your business with him ? Tanya. It's a little secret. I'll tell it to you afterward ; go and tell him now. Feod. Ivan. [Smiling.'] I can't for the life of me make out what plan you count on carrying out. All right, I'll go and tell him. [Exit Scene LVI. — Tanya alone. Tanya. Yes, I will do it. Why, I myself heard him say that Simon had spiritualistic power, and I know all about how it is done. Nobody found out then. And now I'll put Simon up to it. If nothing comes of it, no- body will be very much the worse. It's not as if it w T ere a sin. Scene LVD". — Tanya, Leonidas Feodorovitch, and follow- ing them, Feodor Ivanitch. Leon. Feod. [Smiling.'] There's the petitioner. What is your business ? Tanya. A little secret, sir. Would you let me tell it to you alone ? THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 53 Leon. Feod. What is it ? Feodor, go out for a mo- ment. Scene LVIII. — Leonid as Feodoroyitch and Tanya. Tanya. I've lived and been brought up in your house, sir, and as I'm very grateful for everything, I'll speak out as I would to my own dear father, if I had one. Simon is living in your house, and he wants to marry me. Leon. Feod. Really ? Tanya. I am speaking to you straightforward as to God himself. I have no one, sir, to counsel or advise me. I am an orphan, sir. Leon. Feod. Well, it's all ri^ht, my girl. He seems a good sort of fellow. Tanya. That's the pure truth you're saying, sir. I wanted to ask you, sir. There's one thing as I've no- ticed about him, and I can't make it out — whether it's not something very bad. Leon. Feod. He drinks, does he ? Tanya. No, sir; God be praised, he does not. But it happens that I know there is spiritualism in him, like Leon. Feod. You know that, you say ? Tanya. Oh, dear, yes, sir ! I understand it very well. Others as are in ignorance, like, they don't see it, but Leon. Feod. Well, and what of that ? Tanya. I am doubtful about Simon, sir. It happens to him sometimes, does this Leon, Feod. What happens ? 54 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. Tanya. Like spiritualism. Ask the servants, and they'll tell you, sir. If he only falls asleep at table, the table begins to quake and quiver and crack like this : tuk, tuk, tuk ! All the servants he*ard it. Leon. Feod. Precisely what I asserted this morning to Sergius Ivanitch. Well ? Tanya. Yes, sir, and — when was it ? Yes, on Wednes- day. We sat down to dinner : and the moment we were seated, the spoon with a hop came straight into his hand. Leon. Feod. Ah, this is interesting ! Hopped into his hand ? Was he dozing ? Tanya. I did not notice, sir. I think he was, though. Leon. Feod. Well ? Tanya. Well, I am in doubt about this, sir, w r hether it may not all lead to something bad. You see, I shall have to live all my life with him, and to have anything wrong Leon. Feod. [Smiling.'] Oh, not at all, my girl. There's nothing wrong in that. It means simply that he is a medium, only a medium. I knew before that he was a medium. Tanya. Oh, really ! And I was terribly afraid ! Leon. Feod. Don't be alarmed, my girl. It's all right. [To himself.] This is fortunate. Kaptshish won't be here this evening, so we can test his powers. No, don't trouble, my dear girl, he'll make a good hus- band, and things will be very pleasant. This is a special power ; everyone has it. Only in some it is very feeble, in others it is much stronger. Tanya. lam very thankful to you, sir. Now I shall not be afraid. I know now. That's what comes from pur benightedness ! THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT, 55 Leon. Feod. No, don't fear anything. It's all right* Feodor ! Scene LIX. — The foregoing and Feodor Ivanitch. Leon. Feod. I am going out. Prepare everything for the seance this evening. Feod. Ivan. But Kaptshish said he would not be able to come, sir. Leon. Feod. That does not signify. [Putting his over- coat on.] We shall have a test seance with our own medium. [Exit. Feodor Ivanitch accompanies him.'] Scene LX. — Tanya alone. Tanya. He believed me, he believed me ! [Screams and dances for joy.] Now I'll carry it through, if Simon only is not too timid. Scene LXI. — Tanya and Feodor Ivanitch, who has re- turned. Feod. Ivan. Well, have you told him your secret ? Tanya. I have ; and I'll tell it to you too, only after- ward — I have a favor to ask of you, Feodor Ivanitch. Feod. Ivan. Of me ? Let's hear what it is. Tanya. [Bashfully.] You have been a second father to me. I will open my heart to you as I would to God himself. Feod. Ivan. Don't go beating about the bush. Go straight to the point. What is it ? 56 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. Tanya. What is it? Well, it is — it is— you know, Simon is going to marry me. Feod. Ivan. All ! now I remember that I often noticed that Tanya. Why should I hide it ? I am a poor orphan. You know yourself how things are done in a city, how everyone pesters a girl like myself. There's Gregory, now, I never get a moment's peace or quiet from him. And you know that other man ? They think I have no soul, that I was made only for their pleasure and for nothing else. Feod. Ivan. You are a wise and well-conducted girl. What next ? Tanya. Simon wrote home to his father, and he, his father, I mean, saw me to-day and said it was one of his pranks — of his son, and as how he was spoiled. Feodor Ivanitch ! [Curtseys to him.~\ be a father to me, talk with the old man, with Simon's father. I could take them to the kitchen, and you might drop in and have a chat with the old man. Feod. Ivan. [Smiling.] I am to be a sort of go-be- tween, as it were ? All right, I won't gainsay it. Tanya. Feodor Ivanitch, my dove ! be a father to me, and for the rest of my life I will never cease to pray to God for yon. Feod. Ivan. All right, all right. I'll do it. I promise to arrange it. [Takes up the newspaper.] Tanya. You are a second father to me. Feod. Ivan, All right, that'll do. Tanya. Then I'll be in hopes — thaW [Exit. THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 57 Scene LXII. — Feodor Ivanitch alone. Feod. Ivan. [Shaking his head.] An affectionate girl, and a good one. And when you come to think of it, how many of such as she is are lost, ruined ! Make but one false step, you slip and sink up to your armpits — and then no one will even as much as discover you in the slough. She's as good a girl as dear Nutty — she too, was a dear girl — her mother brought her into the world, fondled her, brought her up — [Taking tip his newspaper.] Well, how is our Ferdinand going to get himself out of the mess, I wonder Curtain. ACT n. The interior of the servants' kitchen. The Peasants, with their coats off, covered with perspiration, are seen sit- ting at table drinking tea. Feodor Ivanitch is smok- ing a cigar at the other end of the stage. The old Cook is on the stove ; he is not visible during the first four scenes. Scene I — The three Peasants and Feodor Ivanitch. Feod. Ivan. My advice to you is : Don't hinder him. If he wishes it and she wishes it, God be with them. She is a good, honest girl. If she is a little dressy, don't let that disturb you. That's the city fashion ; she wouldn't get on without it. But she is an intelligent girl, I can tell you. 2d Peas. If he does wish it so very much, why, I sup- pose it must be. It's he as has got to live with her, not me. But there's no getting over it — she is a heap too clean and tidy-like. How could you get her into a hut like ours ? She would not let her mother-in-law lay a finger on her. Feod. Ivan. That, brother, comes not from tidiness, but from character. If she's of a quiet, good disposi- tion, she'll be obedient and respectful. 2d Peas. If the fellow's so entangled that he can't do without her, I won't stand in his way. It would be a good deal worse to cross her first and have to live with THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 59 her afterward. I'll take counsel with my old woman, and God'll look after the rest. Feod. Ivan. Your hand here, old boy. 2d Peas. Yes, I see it's come to that. 1st Peas. It's a lucky star as you was born under, Zacharias. You came here to consurmate the signing of a purchase of land, and here's a queen going to marry your son. You've got to sprinkle the business now, so as it'll look in behoving order. Feod. Ivan. That's not at all necessary. [An embarrassing silence.] Feod. Ivan. I know your peasant life as well as any man among you. I can tell you I have been often think- ing myself of buying a piece of ground somewhere, building a house, and living as a peasant. In your dis- trict, for all I care. 2d Peas. A very good thing. 1st Peas. Undoubtedly, with money you can percure in the country every prosperity and pleasure. 3d Peas. That's known. Life in the country is more of a freer kind, like, than in the city. Who is there as doesn't know that ? Feod. Ivan. Well, and would you accept me as a member of your Commune, if I were to go to your place to settle down? 2d Peas. Why shouldn't we ? Treat the old man to spirits, and they'll take you in the twinkling of an eye. 1st Peas. And if you open a public house or a beer shop your life will be so happy — you'll never want to die. You'll be a king, and there's an end of it. Feod. Ivan. We'll see about that. But I do feel a hankering after rest and quiet in my old days. My life 60 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. here is pleasant enough, and I'll be very sorry to give it up ; the master is a good soul, there are few like him anywhere. 1st Peas. Undubiously true. But how about our business ? Is it all up ? Feod. Ivan. He would be only too glad. 2d Peas. Ah, he's afraid of the wife, that's clear. Feod. Ivan. Not afraid, but she won't consent either. 3d Peas. You might put your shoulder to the wheel and set it going for us, father ; if not, how are we to live? The land is scanty Feod. Ivan. Let's see what'U come of Tanya's at- tempt. She said she'd pull it through. 3d Peas, [prinking his tea.] Have mercy on us, father ; the land is scanty, there's no place to turn a cow or a horse into, no, nor a hen, for the matter of that. Feod. Ivan. Oh, if the decision lay with me. [To the 2d Peasant.] So, brother, we are match-makers and kinsfolk, you and myself. Tanya's business is settled. 2d Peas. When I said yes, I won't go back of it, un- less I have a drop in me. Oh, if we only brought that business to an end ! Scene II. — The foregoing. The female Cook appears, glances at the stove, makes signs to it, thereupon be- gins to converse in a lively manner with Feodor Ivan- itch. Cook. Simon has been called up from the clean kitch- en * upstairs ; the master and the other one, that calls * In aristocratic houses in Russia there are two kitchens : the one for the servants, where they cook their food and eat it ; the THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 61 up spirits with him — the bald-headed one, you know— and they ordered him to carry on them doings in place of Kaptshish. Feod. Ivan. What are you telling such lies for? Cook. I'm not telling lies. James has just been and told Tanya. Feod. Ivan. A rum thing, this is ! Scene III. — The foregoing and the Coachman. Feod. Ivan. What are you up to ? Coachman. [To Feodor Ivanitch.] You may tell them I was not engaged to live with a pack of dogs. Others may, if it suits them, but I'm not going to live with dogs. Feod. Ivan. With what dogs ? Coachman. They brought home three dogs from Basil Leoniditch, and put them in the coach-house. The} r 've made a horrible mess there, and are barking and howl- ing, and, if you come near them, snarl and bite. The wicked devils ! If you're not minding what you're about, they'll crunch you to dough, they will. I'm going to break their legs with a log of wood, I am. Feod. Ivan. When was all this? Coachman. To-day they brought them from the dcg show. They are of an expensive sort, the devil only knows what the race is called. Either the dogs or the coachmen are to live in the coach-house. That's what it's to be. Just you tell them that. Feod. Ivan. Yes, that's not as it ought to be. I'll go other for the master's family. The former is called the servants' or the black kitchen, the latter, the ichite kitchen. 62 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. and ask about it. Had they not better be taken down here to Lukeria ? Coachman. [Angrily.'] Christians are having their dinner here, and you want to shut up a pack of dogs with them. As it is, it's — I've got the driving suits, the fur covers for the sledges, the harness, and the rest of it. And they insist on cleanliness. Put them in the out-house, if you like. Feod. Ivan. I must see Basil Leoniditch about it. Coachman.^ I wish he'd hang the bitches round his neck and show himself about with them. But no ; he knows which side of the bread is buttered, don't you fear. It's on horseback that he moves about. He spoiled Krassavtchik for no reason as I knows of. And wasn't she a mare — ah, it is a weary life ! [Exit, banging the door behind him.] Scene IV. — The foregoing, without the Coachman. Feod. Ivan. This is against all order. [To the Peas- ants.] Well, good-by for the present, boys ! Peasants. God be with you ! [Feodor Ivanitch goes out.] Scene V. — The foregoing, without Feodor Ivanitch. The moment Feodor Ivanitch leaves the room, a creaking noise is heard on the stove. 2d Peas. It's sleek he is, and no mistake. A com- mandant general, you might say. Cook. And small wonder ! A room to himself, noth- ing to pay for his washing, tea and sugar from the mis- tress, and victuals from their table. THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 63 Old Man Cook. The devil himself would be comforta- ble in that snug corner. 2d Peas. Who might that be on the stove there ? Female Cook. Oh, it's a man. [Silence.'] 1st Peas. Yes, and I saw how you all had supper here a while ago. It's line times as you have here too, I'll make bold to say. Female Cook. We've no grounds to be grumbling. In them things the mistress is not mean. White bread on Sundays, fish on holidays in Lent, and meat for who likes. 2d Peas. And would there be anyone as 'u'd break the fast and eat meat ? Female Cook. The whole lot of them, you may say. The only ones as keep the fast here is myself and the coachman — (not that one ; the old one), and Simon and the housekeeper. All the others stuff themselves with meat. 2d Peas. And himself ? Fem. Cook. That's a good 'un, it is ! Why, he's long ago forgot what it means to fast. 3d Peas. O Lord ! 1st Peas. It's the affair of the quality. They got to that through reading books. For they have every kind of knowledge. 3d Peas. A maslin loaf every day, I'll warrant ? Fem. Cook. A maslin loaf ! what a joke ! Them folks never sees a maslin loaf in all their born days, at their own tables, leastways. You should see the food spread out on their tables, and then I'd like you to mention what they haven't. That's how it is. 64 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 1st Peas. The food of the quality, as is known, is airy as it were. Fem. Cook. Airy or not airy, they seldom want an ap- petite to gorge themselves. 1st Peas. They are in appetite, then ? Fem. Cook. And no thanks to them, as they are always swilling and drinking. With every dish they've got a drink of wine or of spirits, or of fizzing liquor. They eat and then drink to wash it down, a mouthful of solid food and a drink to go along with it. 1st Peas. In harmonious proportion it carries down the food, you may say. Fem. Cook. Yes ; ain't they good hands at stuffing themselves ! You've no idea. It's not their way to sit down, eat, cross themselves, and get up from the table — they eat and eat and never rest themselves. 2d Peas. Like hogs, that won't be happy till they have their feet in the trough. [The Peasants laugh.] Fem. Cook. The moment, God be praised, they rub their eyes in the morning, it begins. Give them the sam- ovar, their tea, coffee, chocolate. When they've emptied one samovar, you've to go and get them a second and a third. By the time this is empty lunch is waiting for them, then comes dinner, and after that coffee again. Be- fore they've well finished that, tea has to be served again. And then their snacks and side dishes. And what with their sweetmeats and things, there's no end to the eating and drinking that goes on from morning till night. Sprawling on their backs in bed, even then they must eat. 3d Peas. That's what I calls doing it squarely and no shirking. [Laughs.] THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 65 1st and 2d Peas. What are you driving at ? 3d Peas. I wish I'd one whole day's life to live like them. 2d Peas. And when do they do their business ? Fem. Cook. What business has the likes o' them to do ? Card-playing and piano-playing is all the business as I knows of. The young lady, I know, when she'd rubbed her eyes in the morning, would get up and tackle the piano and go ahead. And the one as lives here, the teacher, as it might be, stands and waits to see whether any of them forty-pianos is free, and when one of 'em is vacant, as you might say, up she goes and gives it a good thumping, I know. Sometimes a pair of forty-pianos would be put together, and the two of 'em play four-in-hand and bang away. And the din is something awful — when I tell you you can hear it here. 3d Peas. O Lord ! Fem. Cook. And that's all the business as they've got ; forty-pianos and cards. When a batch of them gets together it's cards and smoking, that goes on through the whole blessed night. And the moment they get up, they're at it again, eating and drinking, drinking and eating ! Scene VI. — The foregoing and Simon. Simon. Good appetite ! 1st Peas. Thanks for the same. You're very wel- come, sit down. Simon. [Drawing near to the table."] Thank you kindly. [The 1st Peasant pours him out some tea.'] 2d Peas. Where have you been ? 5 6Q THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. Simon. Upstairs. 2d Peas. What's going on there now? Simon. I can't make head or tail of it. I'm puzzled how to tell you. 2d Peas. What are they up to? Simon. I don't know how to say it ; some force they were hunting for in rne, like. I can't make it out for the soul of me. Tanya says, says she: "Go on, don't be afraid, we'll get the land for the peasants," says she ; "he'll sell it." 2d Peas. How is she going to pull that through ? Simon. That's what puzzles my head to make out. She won't tell me nothing more. " Only mind to do," says she, " what I order." 2d Peas. And what things is it she orders ? Simon. Nothing now. They made me sit down, then nothing would do for them but the lights must be put out ; and I'm blowed if they didn't coax me to go to sleep. Me to go to sleep ! And Tanya stowed herself away there convenient, they didn't notice as she was there, but I saw her. 2d Peas. What's it all for ? Simon. God only knows — I'm blowed if I can see through it. 1st Peas. Comprehensibly for the procrastination of time as lies heavy on their hands. 2d Peas. One thing I see ; neither your skull nor my own is made to hold the signification of what them things mean. But tell me this : did you make much money by it ? Simon. I didn't take anything but what they gave me. I earned twenty-eight roubles, if a copeck. THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 67 2d Peas. That's business. If God grants we get the land, I'll take you home, Simon, my lad. Simon. And it's right glad I'll be, father, if you do. 2d Peas. You're spoiled here in the city, I suppose. You haven't a mind to plough, have you ? Simon. To plough, is it ? Try me now, I'm your man. To plough or to mow, all them is things as a fellow doesn't soon forget. 1st Peas. But after you've lived in the capital metro- polis, you've no much taste to leave it, eh ? Simon. Why not ? I can live just as well in the country. 1st Peas. Here's uncle Dmitry as 'ud be right glad to change places with you and get a taste of your cultur- vated city life. Simon. He'd very soon get tired of it, would uncle Dmitry. It looks enticing like, when you don't know it, but you've got no end of running about, your head gets dizzy, and you're soon done up. Fem. Cook. Ah, uncle * Dmitry, you should see what their balls are like. It's you as 'ud be astonished at the sight ! 3d Peas. And why, now ? They eat all sorts ? Fem. Cook. Nonsense ; you should only see them. Feodor Ivanitch got me in ; I cast my eyes at the ball — no end of ladies, quality ladies, dressed and done up in tip-top style. You haven't any idea, man 1 How could you? Down to this they are stark naked, and so are their arms. Not a rag to cover them. 3d Peas. Oh, Lord ! * Among Russian peasants Uncle is a common term of address to unknown persons. 68 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 2d Peas. More shame for them's what I say. Fem. Cook. I stared and I stared, uncle, and didn't , know what to think. Flesh everywhere. You may think I'm lying, but I'm telling the plain truth ; the old uns, our mistress — and you know she has grandchil- dren — stripped themselves naked for the ball like the rest. 3d Peas. Oh, Lord ! Fem. Cook. That's not all : when the music struck up and things got lively-like, every mother's son of them men there, went up each one to his own, gave her a squeeze, and went whirling around like a merry-go- round ! 2d Peas. And the old uns ? Simon. No, the old uns keep sitting. Fem. Cook. What are you talking about. Didn't I see them with my own eyes, I tell you ? Simon. Bosh. Old Man Cook. [Thrusting his body forward and speak- ing very hoarsely.] That's the polka-mazourka. You're a fool, woman, not to know — the way it's danced is Fem. Cook. Shut up, dancer, will you ? St ! there's somebody coming. Scene VII. — Hie foregoing and Gregory. The Old Man Cook hurriedly hides himself as before. Greg. [To the Female Cook.] Let me have some sour cabbage ! Fem. Cook. There, now, I've just come from the cellar and must go back again. Who's it for ? Greg. For the young ladies. Look sharp, will you ? Send it up with Simon, I have no time to wait. THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT, 69 Fem. Cook. That's just like 'em ; they fills themselves with sweet things till they can hold no more, and then they're a-yearning for sour cabbage. 1st Peas. To keep the bowels open, belike. Fem. Cook. Much good it does them, too ! When there is a vacancy open, they fills it up again as hard as they can. [Takes a cup and goes out.] Scene VIII. — The foregoing, without the Female Cook. Greg. [To the Peasants.] So you've settled down com- fortably in the kitchen? Mind, take care of what you are about. If the mistress gets to know that you are here, she will give you as good a drubbing as you got this morning. [Laughs and goes out] Scene IX. — The three Peasants. Simon and the Old Man Cook ivho is still on the oven. 1st Peas. She did get up a storm this morning, and no mistake ! Wasn't she wild ! 2d Peas. This morning he wanted to mend matters, soften her down a bit, but when he opened the door and saw how she was tearing the roof off the cabin, he banged the door and left her to herself. 3d Peas. [Waving his hand.] It's the same story all round. My old woman goes and fires up at times, and doesn't she cut up rough — it's a sight to see. I clear out of the cabin in no time, I can tell ye. Confound her, if I didn't look out she'd split my head with a hunt- ing-pole, and think nothing of it, either. Oh, Lord! 70 THE FRUIT 8 OF ENLIGHTENMENT. Scene X. — The foregoing, and James. Rushes in with the Doctor's prescription. James. I say, Simon, run to the apothecary's, look alive, man, and get these here powders for the mis- tress. Simon. Himself told me as I wasn't to leave the prem- ises. James. You'll be back in time. Your turn won't come till after tea. . . . Good appetite ! 1st Peas. Thank you kindly, you're very welcome. [Exit Simon. Scene XI. — The foregoing without Simon. James. I'm in a' awful hurry ; but pour out a drop of tea and I'll drink it all the same to keep you company. Here goes. 1st Peas. Here we're a-discursing and abating as how your mistress was in high tantrums this morning. James. Oh, she's a fiery 'un, I can tell you. It's aw- ful, if you knew. She doesn't know a bit what she's saying or doing on them occasions. 1st Peas. But what was it about as I wanted to inter- rogate ye on ? What was them remarks alluding to as she observed about big crows. Big crows, says she, you've perfected the whole place with big crows. Now, what might them big crows infer to ? James. Oh, these macarobes, is it ? Them are wee little things like midges, as they say brings every sick- ness and disease with 'em. And she said as how ye were chock full of 'em. After you left, the place as THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 71 you were standing on was scrubbed and scrubbed and sprinkled and splashed at an awful rate. There is such a disaffecting wash as they call it, that slaughters them all — the midges, I mean. 2d Peas. And where might these same midges be on us? James. [Drinking his tea.] They say they're such wee things as you can't see even through a burning-glass. 2d Peas. And how does she know they're on me ? Perhaps she's more of them filthy things on herself than is on me. James. Right you are. How can we tell ? 2d Peas. It's my belief as it's all fudge. James. It stands to reason it is. The doctors must invent them things, or if they didn't, who'd fill their pockets for them ? Our doctor comes every blessed day. He drives up, spouts a bit, and pockets his cool ten roubles. 2d Peas! You lie ! . . . James. And there's another o' them fellows as gets a hundred roubles every time he comes. 1st Peas. You don't mean it. A hun — dred ? James. A hundred ? You say hun— dred, but faith he takes a whole thousand if he goes beyond the city. Aye, and if ye don't fork it out you may kick the buck- et, and he won't lift a finger to help you. 3d Peas. Oh, Lord ! 2d Peas. How's that ? Does he know some charm wood ? James. I s'pose he must. I used to live in a general's house outside Moscow. A passionate fellow he was, awful to look at — the general, I mean. One fine day his 72 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. daughter fell sick. They sent for this chap in a hurry. " Give me a thousand roubles and I'll go," says he. . . . They agreed, and he came. Somehow — I don't know exactly how, but they displeased him. Good heavens ! how he did let loose on the general ! " That's the way, is it, you show me respect," says he ; " I'm blowed if I'll cure your daughter." And what d'ye think happened ? Why, that general forgot his pride, shrivelled up, and was as quiet as a mouse in a twinkling, he was. " For God's sake, don't throw me up," he begged. 1st Peas. And he paid him a thousand ? James. That he did, and no mistake. 2d Peas. Such a mint of money ? Only think of all the things a peasant could do for that money ! 3d Peas. It's my opinion as it's all stuff and nonsense. Not long ago I had a sore leg ; a raw place, you know. Well, I was prescribed for and proscribed for till I was sick of it. It cost me full five roubles, it did. At last I flung it up and left the sore to itself, and I'm blowed if it didn't come all right without doctor or physic. [The Old Man Cook on the stove coughs.] James. Are you there again, my hearty? 1st Peas. What kind of individual might that be there ? James. He was master's cook at one time ; he comes to see Lukeria now and then. 1st Peas. He's a master cook, as you might say, then. And does he live here ? James. N-n-o — they won't have him here. He spends the day in one place, the night in another. When he's got three copecks * he sleeps in a public lodging-house, * About a penny. THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 73 and when he has drunk away every coin he had, he comes here. 2d Peas. How is that ? James. He's weak, poor fellow, very weak. What a grand fellow he used to be ! a kind of fine gentleman like, with a gold watch in bis fob, and receiving his forty roubles a month — not a copeck less. And look at him now ! He'd 'ave died of hunger long ago, if it wasn't for Lukeria as keeps the life in him. Scene XII. — The foregoing and tlie Female Cook, bring- ing in the sour cabbage, James. [To Lukeria.] I see you have got Paul here again ? Fem. Cook. Well, and where else would ye have 'im go ? Would you like 'im to be frozen to death in the streets ? Eh ? 3d Peas. See what drink does ! Drink, we may say — [Smacks his tongue against his teeth, to mark his sympathy with the Man Cook.] 2d Peas. Sure enough, if a man grows firm, he's firmer than a stone ; if he gets weak, he's weaker than water. Old Man Cjok. [Getting down from the stove, his hands and feet trembling.'] Lukeria ! do let me have a little glass ! Fem. Cook. Where are you crawling to now? I'll give ye such a little glass, if ye don't take care that Man Cook. Ain't ye afraid of God, Lukeria ? I'm dying, that's what's the matter with me. Brothers, can ye give me five copecks ? — 74 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. Fem. Cook. Go back to the stove, I tell you. Man Cook. Cook ! a half-glass only. For Christ's sake. Do ye understand, it's in Christ's name I'm beg- ging it ! Fem. Cook. Go back, I tell you. Here's tea for you. Man Cook. Tea ! What's tea to me ? A weak, watery drink. Just a little spirits, will ye, only a drop — Lu- keria ! 3d Peas. Ah, the poor fellow, he's trembling awfully ! 2d Peas. You might let him have it perhaps ? Fem. Cook. [Goes to the cupboard, gels the bottle, and pours out a small glass of vodka.] Here, take this, and mind you'll not get a drop more from me. Man Cook. [Snatching it greedily from her, swallows it off, trembling all the time.] Cook ! I'll drink it up and you think of what I'm going to say Fem. Cook. None of your gab now, but go back to your place on the stove, and don't let your voice be heard. [The Old Man returns to his place, but con- tinues to mutter something to himself] 2d Peas. That's what it comes to when a man is weak ! 1st Peas. Undoubtingly — human feebleness. 3d Peas. Ah ! yes, indeed. [The Old Man Cook lies down and continues to mutter. Silence.] 2d Peas. What was I going to ask you about ? That girl as lives in the house from our parts, Axinia's daugh- ter, I mean. What sort of a one might she be ? Does she live properly and honestly ? James. She's a good girl. Nothing but praise for her. THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 75 Fem. Cook. I'll tell you what it is, uncle, I know what it is to live in a city as a servant-maid, and I tell you this : If you're going to take Tanya for your son's wife, you'd better take her at once before she's spoiled, as she's sure to be very soon. James. That's the plain truth. Last summer there was a girl — Nathalia — as lived here, as good a girl as you could wish to see anywhere. And she went wrong and was ruined as much as that poor fellow there. [Points to the Man Cook.] Fem. Cook. Girls of our condition fall every day, as thick as leaves when the storm's blowing. Who doesn't like light work and dainty food? And it's the dainty food as takes ye out o' your road and lands you in the mud before ye knows where ye are. And when you're once in the mud, it's all up with you ; you're not want- ed no more after that ; ye can go your ways, a fresh one's got to take your place. That's what happened to Nathalia, poor girl. She slipped, lost her footing like, and was driven out of the house. She was brought to bed of a child, fell sick, and died in the hospital last spring. And what a fine girl she was ! 3d Peas. Oh, Lord ! A weak lot o' people. They're to be pitied, they are. Old Man Cook. It's a precious lot o' pity you'll get from the likes o' them. [Lets his feet hang down from the stove.] Here am I that roasted myself for thirty years before the kitchen fire for them, and when I wasn't wanted any more I was turned out to die like a dog in the streets. Pity indeed ! You've come to the right shop to look for pity, you have ! 1st Peas. That's voracious ; it's always the way. 76 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 2d Peas. As long as you're useful they pat you on the back, but when they've got all the good out of ye they fling you into the street like a sucked lemon. 3d Peas. Oh, Lord ! Old Man Cook. What do you know ? Can you tell me what means saute a la Bamon ? or what Bavasary is ? Ah, if you knew the things that I could do ! Think o' this : the Tsar himself eat my dishes ! And now I'm not worth a straw to the very devils. But I won't give in, I won't ! Fem. Cook. You've let your tongue loose again, have you ? I'll teach you manners — Creep back to your corner this very minute, I tell you, or the master will be in, or someone else, and 111 be packed out of the house along with you, bag and baggage. [Silence.] James. So you know my country — do you — Voznes- sen sky? 2d Peas. Bight well I know it. It's only fifteen miles from us, and not even that much if ye cross the ford. Have you land there ? James. My brother has. I send him money home. Though I'm living here I'm dying to get home. 1st Peas. Undoubtingly. 2d Peas. Is Anisim, then, your brother ? James. Of course he is. He lives at the other end of the village. 2d Peas. Of course I know him. His is the third house. THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 77 Scene XIIL — The foregoing and Tanya, who comes run- ning in. Tanya. James Ivanitch ! What are ye airing yourself here for ? You're called upstairs. James. Directly. What's going on ? Tanya. Fiffka's barking — she's hungry ; and herself is calling you names and abusing you: "What a wretch he is," she says. "He has no pity. The poor thing should have had its dinner long ago, and he hasn't troubled himself to bring it ! " [Laughs.] James. [Prejjaring to go.] Oh, is she angry ? I hope nothing serious will come of this ! Fem. Cook. Take the cabbage with you. James. Give it here, make haste ! [Takes the cabbage and goes.] Scene XIV. — The foregoing, without James. 1st Peas. Who is it is going to have her dinner at this hour? Tanya. Who but the dog ? It's her own dog. [Sits down and takes up the teapot.] Is there any tea in the pot? I've brought some with me. [Puts fresh tea in the teapot.] 2d Peas. The dog going to have dinner ! Tanya. Why, of course it is. It has a cutlet made all for itself — a cutlet that must not be fat. I have got the washing to do — the dog's washing, I mean. 3d Peas. Oh, Lord ! Tanya. It's like the gentleman as buried his dog. 78 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 2d Peas. How was that ? Tanya. His dog died — the gentleman's, and he drove to the country in the depth of winter to tjury it. The burial was over, and he was coming home in his sledge, crying and sorrowing, the gentleman was. The frost was biting that day and the drops were falling from the coachman's nose Let me pour it out for you. [She pours out the tea.] The drops were trickling from his nose, and he was drying them as well as he could with his handkerchief. At last the master saw him and, " What," says he, " are you crying like that for ? " " Ah, sir," says the coachman, u how can I help it, what a fine dog he was " \ Laughs boisterously] 2d Peas. And all the time, I bet he was saying to himself : If it was your own precious self as gave up the ghost, I'm bio wed if it 'ud bring a single tear to either of my eyes ! [Laughs.] Old Man Cook. [From the stove.] Eight you are. Gospel truth ! Tanya. Well, the gentleman got home, and he goes up to the mistress and says he : " What a good fellow that coachman of ours is — he was crying all the way home, he was that sorry for my poor dog 'Friend.' Send for him." W 7 hen he came : " Here," says his master, " swal- low this vodka, and take this rouble to reward you." That's for all the world like herself. She's angry now with James for not taking pity on her dog. [The Peasants laugh heartily.] 1st Peas. The dog must be treated with all that cere- mony? THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 79 2d Peas. That is good ! 3d Peas. Ah, girl, you have made me split my sides ! Tanya. [Pouring out more tea.'] Drink a little more ! That's right. It looks nice and pleasant to live here, but there's times as it's sickening to have to tidy up all the filth after them. Fie ! It's far better in the coun- try. [The Peasants turn up their caps.] Tanya. [Pouring out the tea.] Much good may it do you, Ephimius Antonitch, have a little more ! I'll pour you out another cup, Dmitry Vlassievitch ! 3d Peas. Well, be it so. 1st Peas. And how, my bright girl, might our affairs be getting on? Tanya. Pretty well. 1st Peas. Simon was saying as Tanya. [Briskly.] Yes, he was saying ? 2d Peas. It's hard to make head or tail of what he says. Tanya. I can't tell you anything about it yet, only I'll do my best ; that I promise. You see, here I've got our document. [Shows a paper under her apron.] If only our trick comes out all right — [Shrieks.] Oh, wouldn't it be splendid ? 2d Peas. You take care and don't lose that paper. It cost money, too. Tanya. Don't be uneasy. All that's wanted is for him to sign this paper ? Is that all ? 3d Peas. And what more could we ask for ? If he signs that, we've got what we want. [Turns up his cup.] I've enough. 80 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. Tanya. [To herself.] He'll sign it ; you'll see lie will. Take a little more. [Pours out more tea.] 1st Peas. Do your endeavors and negotiate the eon- summation of the signing of the sale of the land, and we can marry you by means of the Commune. [Declines the offer of more tea.] Tanya. [Pours out tea and hands it.] Drink it. 3d Peas. Only pull the thing through and we'll get you married, and I'll come to dance at the wedding my- self, I will. Though I never danced a step in all my born days, I'll do it then. Tanya. [Laughing.] I'll be hopeful you will. [Silence.] 2d Peas. [Surceying Tanya.] That's all well and good, but you're not fit for the hard work as a peasant's wife's got to do. Tanya. Is it me ? What d'ye suppose then ? That I've no strength ? You should see how I lace up the mistress, and you'd open your eyes, I tell you. There's lots o' peasants as couldn't do it. 2d Peas. What d'ye lace her to ? Tanya. There's a thing like a jacket made of bones, like ; it only reaches to here. It's fitted up with laces, and you've got to pull them and pull them, and spit in your hands before you can get them to meet. 2d Peas. You tighten the collar thongs, as I under- stand it ? Tanya. Yes, that's it, the collar thongs. But you mustn't press your knees against her, you know. [Laughs.] 2d Peas. And what do you tighten her up like that for ? THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 81 Tanya. For that. 2d Peas. It's a vow she made, I s'pose. Tanya. No, it's for her beauty. 1st Peas. Her pauDch disfigures her form, I appine. Tanya. I've got to tighten her and tighten her till her eyeballs are ready to start from her head, and then she says, " Go on, tighter." My hands are blazing hot before I get through ; and you say I've no strength ! [The Peasants laugh and shake their heads.] Tanya. Well, haven't I been prattling a lot ! [Buns out laughing.] 3d Peas. The girl has given us a hearty laugh. 1st Peas. A tidy thing she is, too. 2d Peas. Not bad. Scene XV. — TJie three Peasants, Female Cook, Old Man Cook, on the stove. Enter Sakhatoff and Basil Le- oniditch. Sakhatoff has a teaspoon in his hand. Basil Leon. Not precisely a dinner, but a dejeuner dinatoire. And a fine lunch it was, too. Ham of suck- ing-pig — delightful ! Boulier knows how to feed his guests. I've only got back this moment. [Catches sight of the Peasants.] The peasants are still here ? Sakh. Yes, all that is very interesting, but don't let us forget that we have come here to hide an article. Where are we going to hide it ? Basil Leon. I beg your pardon, one moment. [To the Cook.] Where are the dogs? Fem. Cook. The dogs are in the coach-house, sir. You wouldn't want them in the rooms as is occupied by Christians ? 6 82 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. Basil Leon. Ah, in the coach-house ? All right. Sakh. I'm waiting for you. Basil Leon. Beg pardon. Ah, yes, we're to hide it ? All right, I'll tell you what we might do, Sergius Ivano- vitch ; we might stow it away in the pocket of one of these countrymen. In this fellow's, for instance. I say, you fellow, where is your pocket ? 3d Peas. What do you want my pocket for ? You know what you're about, you do. My pocket ! D'ye know I've money in my pocket ? Sakh. Well, where's your money-bag then ? 1st Peas. What d'ye want it for ? Fem. Cook. How can you ? That's the young master as is speaking with you. Basil Leon. [Laughing.'] Do you know why he was so terribly frightened ? I'll tell you ; it's because he has a mint of money on him. Eh ? Sakh. Yes, I see. Well, here's what will do. You go on talking to them, and I shall hide it in that little satchel there while no one is looking, so that even these fellows should not know and tell him where it is. Go on talking with them. Basil Leon. Directly, directly. Well, boys, and you are going to buy the land ? Eh? 1st Peas. We propose negotiations with all our hearts. But the progression of the business is hindered somehow. Basil Leon. You shouldn't be close-fisted, though. Land, you know, is a most important thing. I think I suggested mint to you. Or you might cultivate tobac- co, if you preferred. 1st Peas. That's undisputably ; you can grow any products. THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 83 3d Peas. Intercede with your father for us, like a benefactor as you are. For how can we live if ye don't. The land is scanty, there's no place to turn a hen into, even a hen. Sakh. [Puts the spoon into the satchel thrown over the 3d Peasant's shoulder.] It's done ! Come along. [Exit. Basil Leon. Don't be close-fisted. Eh ? Good-by. [Exit. Scene XVI. — The three Peasants, the Female Cook, and the Old Man Cook on the stove. 3d Peas. I told you we'd better be gone to some lodg- ings. We'd have paid ten copecks and been in peace there. But now may God have mercy on us. Give up your money, he says, fork it out. What does he mean ? He's tipsy, of course. [The Peasants rise from their places, turn up their cups, and make the sign of the cross.] 1st Peas. And did ye mind how he threw out a hint about sowing mint. There's a way of understanding that, too. 2d Peas. Yes, indeed, sow mint. Try it on ; double yourself up in two, and you'll soon ask for mint to keep you in working order. Thank you kindly for the hint. Where, my bright woman, are we to rest our legs here to-night ? Fem. Cook. One of you might lie down on the stove, and the others on the bench. 3d Peas. Christ save your soul. [Says his prayers.] 84 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 1st Peas. God vouchsafe to grant the consummation of the business. [Lies down.] To-morrow after dinner we'd be at the railroad terminus, and on Tuesday we'd be at home. 2d Peas. You'll be blowing out the light, won't ye ? Fem. Cook. We couldn't think of doing that here. They are always running in, sometimes for one thing, sometimes for another. But you can lie dow T n ; I'll cover you up. 2d Peas. How can a man live on a little patch of land ? Here have I been having to buy corn ever since Christmas. And my oaten straw is all gone, too. Ah, if I had four acres to call my own, I'd take Simon home, I would. 1st Peas. You have your family to look after. You'll have land enough, if only this business is done as we want it. 3d Peas. Better pray of the Queen of Heaven to give us a helping hand. She might, you know, take, pity on us, like. Scene XVII. — Everything is quiet. Snores break the still ness. Suddenly the noise of footsteps is heard, and the sound of voices. The doors are thrown wide open, and the following persons rush impetuously in: Grossmann blindfolded, holding Sakhatoff by the hand; the Professor and the Doctor ; the Stout Lady, Le- onidas Feodorovitch ; Betsy and Petrishtsheff ; Basil Leoniditch and Mary Konstantinovna ; the Mistress of the house and the Baroness ; Feodor Ivanitch and Tanya. The following are also present in the room : The three Peasants, the Female Cook, and THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 85 the Old Man Cook [not visible). The Peasants jump up. Grossmann walks in rapidly and then suddenly stops. Stout Lady. Don't be uneasy, I'm watching him. I undertook to watch him, and am conscientiously doing my duty. Sergius Ivanovitch, you are not leading him, I hope ? Sergius. No, I'm not, I tell you. Stout Lady. Don't lead him and don't resist him. [To Leonid as Feodorovitch.] I know all about these experiments. I performed them myself. I used to feel an impulsion as it were Leon. Feod. May I ask you to keep silence ? Stout Lady. Oh, I know how indispensable that is ! I experienced it on myself. The moment my attention was distracted I could not for the life of me Leon. Feod. Sh ! sh ! sh ! [They move about in the vicinity of the 1st and 2d Peas- ants, and draw near the 3d. Grossmann stumbles over the stool] Baroness. But tell me, is he paid for this?* Mistress. I have not the faintest idea. Baroness. But is he a man ? Mistress. Oh, yes. Baroness. There's something perfectly miraculous in it. Isn't there, now? How is it that he manages to find things ? Mistress. I couldn't tell you. My husband can ex- plain it all to you. [Perceiving the Peasants, she looks * This lady and her companion, the mistress of the house, speak French here in the original. I thought it better to trans- late their remarks into English. SG THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. around and sees at last the Female Cook.] Excuse me, what does this mean ? [The Baroness approaches a group.] Mistress. [To Female Cook.] Who admitted the peasants ? Fem. Cook. James brought them in, ma'am. Mistress. And who ordered James to bring them in ? Fem. Cook. That I couldn't say, ma'am. Feodor Ivanitch saw them here. Mistress. Leonidas ! [Leonid as Feodorovitch does not hear ; he is absorbed in the search for the hidden object and is crying "Hush ! "] Mistress. Feodor Ivanitch ! "What is the meaning of this ? Did you not see how I had the whole anteroom disinfected this morning, and now you have infected the whole kitchen, the black bread, the kvass * Feod. Ivan. I did not suppose there was any danger in their being here. They came up to town on business. They have a long way to go. Their village Mistress. That's just it. Their village is in the Gov- ernment of Kursk, where the very flies are dying of diphtheria. And what's much more to the point, I gave orders that they were not to be admitted into the house. Did I give orders, yes or no ? [Approaches ci group of persons tuhich has formed round the Peasants.] Take care, take care ! Don't touch them — for they are all saturated with the diphtheria infection ! [No one listens to her. She steps aside with great dig- nity and stands immovably, waiting. ,] Petr. [Snuffles very loudly.] I do not know * A Russian beverage characterized by most of the drawbacks of beer (except its inebriating properties) and very few of its ad- vantages. THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 87 whether that is a diphtheria infection or not, but there is certainly an infection of some kind in the air. Do you smell it ? Betsy. Cease lying. Vovo, in what satchel ? Basil Leon. There, in that one ! He is drawing near to it now. Petr. What's that? Perfumed spirits or spirit from the other world ? Betsy. Now's the opportune moment for your cigar- ettes. Smoke, smoke, and as near me as you possibly can. [Petrishtsheff stoops, lights his cigarette, and smokes.] Basil Leon. He is making his way, I can tell you. What do you say ? Grossmann. [In a restless kind of way fumbles about the 3d Peasant.] Here, here ! I feel it's here. Stout Lady. Do you experience any feeling of ex- haustion ? [Grossmann stoops down and takes the spoon from the satchel.'] Basil Leon. Eh ? So that's where our spoon has been discovered ? [To the Peasant. J So that's your way, is it? 3d Peas. What's my way ? I didn't take yer spoon. And what are you mixing me up in it for ? I didn't take it and I didn't, and my soul is free of it. It's a nice way he has of taking on, it is. Oh, I could see as it wasn't for any good that he came here. Give me your money-bag, says he. But I didn't take yer spoon, and Christ is my witness that I didn't. [The young members of the family make a circle round him and smile] 88 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. Leon. Feod. [Angrily, to his son ] Your eternal stu- pidities again ! [To the Peasant.] Don't be alarmed, my good friend ! We know you didn't take it ; that was only our experiment. Gkossmann. [Takes the handkerchief from his eyes and looks as if he had only just wakened up from sleep.] If you can, let me have a glass of water, please. [They all run up to him and fussily offer their services.'] Basil Leon. Let's go straight to the coach-house from here. Ill show you what a rare specimen of the canine race I've got there. Magnificent ! How does it strike you? Mary Konst. Let us go. [Exeunt Mary Konstantinovna, Betsy, Pe- trishtsheff, and Basil Leoniditch. Scene XVIII. — The foregoing, without Betsy, Mary Kon- stantinovna, Petrishtsheff, and Basil Leoniditch. Stout Lady. [To Grossmann.] Well, what do you think ? Have you rested ? (Grossmann makes no reply. To Sakhatoff.] Do you, Sergius Ivanitch, experience a feeling of exhaustion ? Sakh. I don't experience anything at all. It was splendid, splendid. A complete success. Baroness. Admirable. Does it cause him any un- pleasant sensation ? Leon. Feod. Not the slightest. Professor. [To Grossmann.] Allow me to put a ques- tion. [Hands him a thermometer.'] At the beginning of the experiment it was 37 and 2. [To the Doctor.] Isn't it so ? Would you have the kindness to measure the THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 89 pulse? There must be a loss of vital power. It is in- evitable. Doctor. [To Grossmann.] Just let me feel yo ur pulse, mister. Well verify it, well verify it. [Takes out his watch and holds Grossmann s hand. ] Stout Lady. The state in which you were then is not identical with that to which we are accustomed to apply the term sleep ? Grossmann. [Languidly.'] It is hypnosis. Sakh. Then, if we understand you aright, you hypno- tized yourself? Grossmann. Why not ? Hypnosis can be induced not only by means of association, by the sound of the tam- tam, for instance, as Charcot induces it ; but likewise by merely coming inside the hypnogenetic zone. Sakh. There's no doubt about that, but it would be advisable all the same to define clearly what hypnosis is? Professor. Hypnosis is the phenomenon of the trans- formation of one kind of energy into another. Grossmann. That is not Charcot's definition. Sakh. Excuse me, please. That is your definition ; but Libaut himself told me Doctor. [Relinquishing Grossmann's hand.] That's all right. Now your temperature, please. Stout Lady. [Interfering] No, allow me, please. I agree with Alexis Vladimirovitch. When I lay ill in bed, deprived of consciousness, I experienced the abso- lute necessity of talking. I am generally of a very taci- turn disposition, but on that occasion I was impelled to talk, talk, and talk And they tell me that I talked so 90 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. much and so long that everyone was astonished. [To Sakhatoff.] But I interrupted you, I'm afraid? Sakh. Not at all. Please, don't mention it. Doctor. Pulse 82 ; the temperature has gone up by three-tenths. Professor. There you have the proof. It's just as it should be. [Takes out his memorandum boob and writes.] 82, is that right ? And 37 and 5. The mo- ment hypnosis was induced, increased intensity of the heart's action. Doctor. And I, as a doctor, am in a position to bear witness that your prediction was completely verified. Professor. [To Sakhatoff.] Yes, and you were say- ing • Sakh. I only wanted to remark that Libaut himself told me that hypnosis is only a peculiar physical state, which increases one's susceptibility to suggestion. Professor. That is, no doubt, true enough in a way, but the chief thing is the law of equivalents Grossmann. Besides, Libaut has not anything like the same authority as Charcot. Charcot has investigated the subject from all sides, and has proved that hypnosis induced by a blow Sakh. I don't at all deny Charcot's merits. I am also personally acquainted with him. I am only repeating what Libaut told me. Grossm. [Warmly.] In the Salpetriere there are three thousand patients, and I went through the whole course. Professor. Excuse me, gentlemen, but that is not the question. Stout Lapy. [Interfering.] I'll explain the matter in o 53 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 91 two words. "When my husband was ill, all the doctors gave him up Leon. Feod. But let us go back to the drawing-room. Baroness, will you kindly lead the way ? [Exeunt all, talking together, and each one try- ing to drown the others voice.] Scene XIX.— The three Peasants, the Female Cook, Feo- dor Ivanitch, Tanya, the Old Man Cook, on the stove, Leonid as Feodorovitch, and the Mistress of the house. Mistress. [Catching Leonidas Feodorovitch by the sleeve and stopping him.'] How often have I requested you not to take upon yourself the command here in the house. You have got all your silly vagaries to attend to, but the household is my affair. You have given everyone the contagion. Leon. Feod. Who ? what ? I am altogether at sea. What are you alluding to ? Mistress. What? People suffering from diphtheria spend the night in the kitchen, with which there is a continual relation kept up by all the members of the household. Leon. Feod. Yes, but I Mistress. What — Yes, but I ? Leon. Feod. I don't know anything about it. Mistress. Well, then, you should know. It's your duty to know, if you are the head of the family. This sort of thing cannot be tolerated. Leon. Feod. Why, I had not the faintest notion. I thought Mistress. It's sickening to listen to you. [Leonidas Feodorovitch remains silent.] 92 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. Mistress. [To Feodor Ivanitch.] Turn them out this instant ! Don't let them stay one moment longer in my kitchen ! It's horrible ! No one carries out my orders ; it's pure malice. ... I turn them out of the ante- room, and they are immediately admitted into the kitchen. [Growing more and more excited, she at last bursts into tears.] It's all out of malice ! all out of malice ! . . . And with my illness. . . . Doc- tor ! Doctor ! Peter Petrovitch ! . . . He is gone too. . . . [Sobs and goes out, Leonidas Feodorovitch following her.] Scene XX. — The three Peasants, Tanya, Feodor Ivanitch, the Female Cook, and the Old Man Cook, on the stove. They are all standing silent. No one speaks for a considerable time. 3d Peas. Ah, God be with the whole lot of 'em. If ye don't keep a good look-out they'll drag you off to the police-station. I was never brought up for anything in my life. Come, lads, and let's get a lodging. Feod. Ivan. [To Tanya.] What's to be done ? Tanya. Nothing at all, Feodor Ivanitch, take them off to the coach-house. Feod. Ivan. How can we do that ? Wasn't the coach- man complaining a short time ago that it's full of dogs ? Tanya. We'll take them to the outhouse, then. Feod. Ivan. And if it's found out ? Tanya. It won't be found out. Don't be uneasy about that, Feodor Ivanitch. Surely we can't turn them out in the middle of the night. They would never find their way at this hour. THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 93 Feod. Ivan. Do as you like, only let them clear out of this. [Exit. Scene XXI. — The three Peasants, Tanya, the Female Cook, and the Old Man Cook. The Peasants are taking up their wallets. Old Man Cook. You see what devils they are. It's too fat they are. The devils ! Fem. Cook. Shut your mouth, will ye ? It's little thanks they've got. Tanya. Come along, uncles, to the outhouse. 1st Peasant. And how is our business progressing? How, for example, about the signature of the affixing of the document. Are we to be in hopes about it ? Tanya. In about an hour we shall know all. 2d Peas. Will ye bamboozle them ? Tanya. [Laughing.'] If it's God's will. Curtain. act in. Time : the evening of the same day. Place : a little sit- ting-room in ivhich Leonidas Feodorovitch always carries on his spiritualistic experiments. Scene 1.7— Leonidas Feodorovitch and the Professor. Leon. Feod. Well, what do you say ? Are we going to take our chance of a seance with our new medium? Prof. By all means. He is manifestly a medium of great power. The main point is to have our seance this evening and with the same persons. Grossmann must necessarily be affected by the influence of the medium- istic energy, and then the nexus and the unity of the phenomena will be more palpable. You will see that, if the medium proves as powerful as he was a while ago, Grossmann must vibrate. Leon. Feod. All right. I'll send for Simon and ask those who wish to be present to come in now. Prof. Very well. Allow me to jot down one or two remarks. [Takes out his notebook and writes.] Scene II. — The foregoing and Sakhatoff. Sakh. In Anna Pavlovna's room the guests are playing screw,* and as I am left out in the cold. . . and, be- * A game of cards invented in Siberia and founded on whist, but much more complicated and interesting. THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 95 sides, as I take an interest in the seance, I put in an appearance here. ... Is the seance going to take place ? Leon. Feod. Certainly, it will. Sakh. Keally ? And without the mediumistic powers of Mr. Kaptshish ? Leon. Feod. You have a lucky hand. Just fancy, the peasant I spoke to you about has proved an undoubted medium. Sakh. Is it possible ? Oh, this is extremely interesting ! Leon. Feod. Fact, fact. After dinner we made a little preliminary trial of his powers. Sakh. And you came to the conclusion that Leon. Feod. That he is a genuine medium of extraor- dinary power. Sakh. [Sceptically.'] Oh, really ! Leon. Feod. We discovered that the servants had long ago observed his spiritualistic power. He would sit down to his cup, for instance, and the spoon would jump into his hand of its own accord. [To the Professor.] You heard that related ? Prof. No, not that particular instance. Sakh. [To the Professor.] But you do admit the possibility of such phenomena ? Prof. Of what phenomena ? Sakh. I mean generally of spiritualistic, mediumistic, and generally supernatural phenomena. Prof. All depends on what you call supernatural? When it was discovered that a nail was attracted not by a living man, but by a piece of stone, how did that phe- nomenon appear to the observers ? Natural or super- natural ? 96 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. Sakh. Quite so ; but all such phenomena as the at- tractive power of a magnet always repeat themselves. Pkof. And so do these here. The phenomenon re- peats itself, and we subject it to a careful investigation. And what is more, we classify the phenomena thus in- vestigated, and bring them under laws common to them and other phenomena. The phenomena appear super- natural only because the causes that produce them are attributed to the medium. But that is erroneous. The truth is that they are produced not by the medium, but by spiritual energy acting through the medium — an enormous difference. The root of the whole matter is to be found in the law of equivalents. Sakh. Quite so, but Scene HI. — The foregoing and Tanya, who enters and hides herself behind the door-hangings. Leon. Feod. One thing should be borne in mind be- fore we begin, that what used to happen to Hume and to Kaptshish may likewise be the case with our new medium here, namely, that we cannot rely with cer- tainty upon anything in advance. The seance may be a failure— or there may be a complete materialization. Sakh. Eeally ? Even a materialization ? What sort of a materialization could there be ? Leon. Feod. One in which a dead man might appear to us ; your father, for example, or your grandfather, might come and take you by the hand and give you something ; or someone might suddenly float in the air, as happened last time when Vladimir Alexandrovitch and myself were present. THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 97 Prof. Undoubtedly, undoubtedly. But the important point is to explain the phenomena aright and bring them under the operation of general laws. Scene IV. — The foregoing and the Stout Lady. Stout Lady. Anna Pavlovna authorized me to come here. Leon. Peod. You are very welcome. Stout Lady. Isn't Grossmann awfully fatigued ? He was not able even to hold the cup. Did you notice how pale he turned [Addressing herself to the Professor.] when he drew near to where the spoon w r as ? I remarked it at once, and was the first to tell Anna Pavlovna of it. Prof. Undoubtedly a loss of vital energy. Stout Lady. That's just what I say, that one ought not to abuse this power. A hypnotizer suggested to a friend of mine — Vera Konshin — yes, you are acquainted with her — that she should give up smoking, and she got a pain in her back. Prof. [Preparing to speak.] The measurement of the temperature and of the pulse leaves no doubt Stout Lady. Allow me to interrupt you for one min- ute. I said to her : "It would be much better for you to smoke than to suffer as you do from your nerves." Of course smoking is noxious, that's clear enough, and I should very much like to give it up myself ; but what am I to do ? I really cannot. At one time I ceased smoking for a fortnight, but I could hold out no longer. Prof. [Getting ready once more to deliver himself of his opinion.] — leaves no doubt that Stout Lady. One minute, please ! I shall say what I 7 98 THE FBUITS OF .ENLIGHTENMENT. have to remark in two words. You maintain that there is a loss of vital power ? I wish to observe that when I was travelling with post-horses — the roads then were in a frightful condition, you probably don't remember, but I noticed them ; no matter what people say to the contrary, our nervousness is all the result of travelling on railroads. I can never sleep in a train, for instance — no, not if it were to save my life, I could not possibly fall asleep. Prof. [Making another attempt to speak, which the Stout Lady baffles.] — a loss of vital power Sakh. [Smiling.] Yes, quite so. Stout Lady. Even if I spend the first, the second, and the third night without sleep, still it is impossible for me to fall asleep. Scene V. — The foregoing and Gregory. Leon. Feod. Please tell Feodor to get everything ready for the seance and call Simon, the butler's man, here ; Simon, you understand ? Greg. Yes, sir. [Exit. Scene VI. — Leonidas Feodorovitch, the Professor, the Stout Lady, and Tanya, who is hiding behind the hangings. Prof. [To Sakhatoff.] The measurement of his tem- perature and pulse indicated a loss of vital forcf The same thing will happen at the mecliumistic manif' tations. The law of the conservation of energy — - Stout Lady. Yes, yes. I only wanted to re THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 99 further that I am extremely glad that a common peas- ant proves a medium. This is excellent. I always held and maintained that the Slavophiles Leon. Feod. Let us repair to the drawing-room while we are waiting. Stout Lady. Allow me, please — just two words : the Slavophiles are right, but I always remarked to my hus- band that exaggeration should be avoided in everything. The golden mean. How can it be maintained, for in- stance, that the people are perfectly well off, when I myself saw with my own eyes Leon. Feod. Will you kindly walk into the drawing- room? Stout Lady. A boy about the size of that was drinking spirits already. I, of course, at once scolded him. And he was grateful to me afterward for it. They are children, mere children, and I have always held that what children want is love combined with severity. [Exeunt all, conversing as they go.] Scene VII. — Tanya alone, comes from behind the door- hangings. Tanya. Oh, if it only succeeds ! [Ties threads together.] Scene VIII. — Tanya and Betsy, who comes in hurriedly. Betsy. Isn't papa here ? [Staring at Tanya.] What are you doing here ? Tanya. I only came in, Elizabeth Leonidovna, for a mon: ,-nt 1 wanted 1 came in so [Is visibly embarrassed.] 100 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. Betsy. There will be a seance here in a few minutes, eh ? [Perceives that Tanya is occupied in tying threads together. Looks at her attentively for a moment, and then bursts out laughing.] Tanya ! It's you who are carrying- on the whole thing. Don't deny it now. The last time too, it was you. Wasn't it you, now? Tanya. Elizabeth Leonidovna, my dove ! Betsy. [In raptures.] Ah, isn't that glorious ! I had no idea ! Why did you do it, though ? Tanya. Dear young lady, don't betray me ! Betsy. No, not for anything in the world. I am aw- fully glad ! How did you manage it so well? Tanya. How I do it ? I hide in the beginning, and then when the lights are out I creep out and do the things. Betsy. [Pointing to the thread.] And what is this for? No, don't tell me, I know myself, you Tanya. Elizabeth Leonidovna, my dove, I'll be open with you — only with yourself. It was only a joke be- fore, but now I want to do real business. Betsy. What do you mean ? What business ? Tanya. You saw the peasants that came up from the country ; they want to buy land, but your papa won't sell it to them and won't sign the paper, and gave it back to them again. Feodor Ivanitch says as it's the spirits as told him not to. That's why I thought of doing it. Betsy. Ah, what a clever girl you are ! Go on, go on ! But how are you going to do it ? Tanya. Here's what I'm going to do. As soon as the light is out I'll begin to thump and knock, to shy things about, and to touch their heads with the thread, and at THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 101 the end I'll throw the paper on the ground ; [I've got it here.] and then fling it on the table. Betsy. Well, and what then ? Tanya. Then they'll be astonished. The peasants had the paper and they'll suddenly see it there on the table. Then I'll command Betsy. Yes, but Simon is the medium this evening. Tanya. Yes, well, it's him as I'll command. [She is unable to continue for laughter.] I'll command him to squeeze under his hands whoever is sitting handy. Only not your papa. He wouldn't dare to do that ; but any- one else, until they sign the paper. Betsy. [Laughing.] That is not the way it's done. The medium never does anything himself. Tanya. Never mind, miss. It's all one. Pr'aps it'll come all right that way. Scene IX. — Tanya and Feodor Ivanitch. Betsy makes signs to Tanya and leaves the room. Feod. Ivan. [To Tanya.] What are you doing here ? Tanya. I wanted to say one word to you, Feodor Ivan- itch, my own dear father about my own business, you know, what I was talking to you about. Feod. Ivan. [Laughing.] I've made the match, I've made it, as I said I would. We shook hands over it, and did everything but sprinkle it. Tanya. [ Squealing.] Is it now really true ? Feod. Ivan. It's the truth I am telling you. "I'll talk it over with my old woman," says he, "and then God bless them." Tanya. Did he really say that ? [Squealing.] Ah, Feo- 102 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. dor Ivanitch, my dove, won't I pray to God for you all my life ! Feod. Ivan. That'll do, now, that'll do. I've no time at present. The orders are to get everything ready at once for the seance. Tanya. I'll help you. What's to be got ready ? Feod. Ivan. What ? Why, the table has to be moved into the middle of the room, the chairs, the guitar, the concertina have to be put in their places. The lamp won't be wanted, because candles are always burned at the seance. Tanya. [Arranges everything with Feod. Ivan.] Is that right ? The guitar here ; the ink-bottle there ; look ! Is that right ? Feod. Ivan. Is it really true that they'll make Simon their medium in sober earnest ? Tanya. It looks like it. But they have had him al- ready. Feod. Ivan. It's awfully rum. [Puts his pince-nez on his nose.] Is he clean? Tanya. How can I tell ? Feod. Ivan. Now then, here's what you've got to do Tanya. Yes, Feodor Ivanitch? Feod. Ivan. Go and get the nail-brush and a cake of scented soap — you'll find one in my room. Cut all his claws and wash him, as clean as soap and water can make him. Tanya. He'll wash himself. Feod. Ivan. Well, go and tell him to do it. And make him put on clean linen. Tanya. Very well, Feodor Ivanitch. [Exit. THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 103 Scene X. — Feodor Ivanitch alone. Throws himself into the armchair. Feod. Ivan. To be sure they are learned men, schol- ars, and specialists, and so on, but there are times when a fellow begins to doubt whether all their learning and knowledge, even the Professor's there, is worth a copper copeck. The rude superstitions of the common people are t being rooted out, superstitions about fairies, magicians, and witches But, hang it, if you consider it carefully, all this business is every bit as bad a superstition as the common people's. Can anyone in his sober senses be- lieve that the spirits of the dead come here to jabber and play the guitar? It's clear they are throwing dust in their own eyes, or else someone is leading them by the nose. This last vagary about calling up Simon passes my comprehension altogether. [Looks through an album.] Here> for example, is their spiritualistic album. Now, does it sound a likely sort of thing to take a ghost's photograph ? Here's a photo of a Turk and Leonidas Feodorovitch sitting together. What a won- derful thing is human weakness ! Scene XI. — Feodor Ivanitch and Leonidas Feodorovitch. Leon. Feod. [Entering. ] Is everything ready ? Feod. Ivan. [Rising leisurely from his seat.] Quite ready. [Smiling.] I'm only afraid that your new me- dium may leave you in the lurch, Leonidas Feodoro- vitch. Leon. Feod. No fear. We tested him along with Pro- 104 THE FRUIT 8 OF ENLIGHTENMENT. fessor Alexis Vladimirovitch. He is a wonderfully pow- erful medium ! Feod. Ivan. I don't know anything about that. But is he clean ? You didn't order him to wash his hands, and it would be rather awkward if he doesn't. Leon. Feod. His hands? Ah, yes. They are dirty, you think? Feod. Ivan. Well, it's very likely they are. You see, he's a peasant. And there will be ladies present, and Mary Vassilievna. Leon. Feod. Yes, that's quite right. Feod. Ivan. Another thing I wanted to say : Timothy, the coachman, came to explain that he could not keep the place and the things clean on account of the dogs. Leon. Feod. [Arranging the things on the table ; absent- minded.] What dogs? Feod. Ivan. Three dogs were sent to Basil Leoniditch to-day, and they were put in the coach-house. Leon. Feod. [Angrily.] Tell Anna Pavlovna about it and let her take whatever measures she likes. I've no time to look after it. Feod. Ivan. You know she's so devoted to Leon. Feod. Well, let her do as she likes. I see nothing but trouble and annoyance from the fellow — besides, I've no time. Scene XH. — The foregoing and Simon, in his blouse. En- ters and smiles. Simon. Was the orders for me to come in ? Leon. Feod. Yes, yes, come in. Show me your hands. That's all right. Now, my good friend, sit down here THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 105 and do as you did a while ago ; give yourself up to your feelings. And don't think of anything yourself. Simon. Think what ? The more you think the worse it is. Leon. Feod. Exactly, that's just it. The less sharp your consciousness, the more powerful the influence. Don't think ; but give yourself up to your mood. If you feel an inclination to sleep, shut your eyes and go to sleep ; if you wish to walk, get up and walk. Do you follow me ? Simon. I understand. There's nothing as is hard to understand in what you say. Leon. Feod. Above all things, don't be embarrassed. Don't be astonished at what you may see and hear. You must bear in mind that just as we are living, so there is an invisible world of spirits living here along- side of us. Feod. Ivan. [Correcting.] Beings that we cannot see ; is it clear ? Simon. [Laughing.] Clear ? In course it's clear. The way, as you said it, is very simple. Leon. Feod. You may be raised up and sent floating about in the air, or something else may happen to you, but don't you lose heart. Simon. Lose heart ? That I won't. Everything is possible, like. Leon. Feod. Very well, then. I'll go and invite the others to come in. Is everything ready ? Feod. Ivan. Everything, I think. Leon. Feod. Is the slate here ? Feod. Ivan, Oh, it's downstairs. I'll fetch it directly. [Exit. 106 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. Scene XIII. — Leonidas Feodorovitch and Simon. Leon. Feod. That's all right, now. Well, I hope you won't be abashed ; be more at ease. Simon. Would you like me to take off my blouse ? I'd be a trifle more at ease if I did. Leon. Feod. Your blouse ? No, no, that will not be necessary ; better keep it on. [Exit. Scene XIV. — Simon alone. Simon. She gave me orders to carry on as I did be- fore ; and it's herself as is going to do all the shying. How can she have the cheek and not be afraid ? Scene XV. — Simon and Tanya, who enters in her stockings without boots, and dressed in a jacket and gown of the color of the wall-paper, Simon laughs. Tanya. Sh ! sh ! They'll hear us ! Here, gum the matches to your fingers like you did this morning. [Sticks them on.~] Do you remember everything you've got to do ? Simon. [Moving his fingers up and down.] First and foremost, to wet the matches. To wave my hand once. The second thing as I've got to perform is to make a noise with my teeth, this way [Hakes a noise with his teeth.] That's two things. The third thing I don't re- member. Tanya. Why, the third thing is the chief of all. You mustn't forget it. Take notice now ! The moment the paper falls on the table — first I'll ring the little bell — - THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT, 107 then you move your hands like this Stretch them out more and more, and seize upon whoever is there, sit- ting next you. And when you've clutched him, squeeze him tight. [Laughing.'] Whether it's the master or the mistress, it's all one, you must squeeze and squeeze and don't let go, just as if you were asleep, and gnash your teeth and howl — like this [Howls in an undertone.'] And when you hear me playing the guitar, wake up, like, stretch yourself, you know how, just as if you were waking up in the morning. Shall you remember every- thing now ? Simon. Yes, I'll remember it all now. Only it's kill- ing funny ! Tanya. But you mustn't dare to laugh. But if you do, they'll think it's in your sleep, and perhaps it won't very much matter. But about one thing be very care- ful ; when they put out the candles, don't go and fall asleep in real earnest. Simon. Don't be afeard. I'll pinch my ears, I will. Tanya. All right now, Simey, my dove ; look sharp, and do everything I've told you. Don't be afraid. He will sign the paper. They're coming [Crawls under the sofa.] Scene XVI. — Simon and Tanya. Enter Grossmann, the Professor, Leonid as Feodorovitch, the Stout Lady, the Doctor, Sakhatoff, the Mistress of the house. Simon is standing at the door. Leon. Feod. You are very welcome, all you unbeliev- ers. Although the medium is new to the work, a casual medium, as it were, I am in hopes of remarkable mani- festations this evening. 108 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. Sakh. That is extremely interesting ! Stout Lady. [Pointing to Simon.] He looks very well. Mistress. For a butler's assistant, yes, but Sakh. Wives never have much faith in the undertak- ings of their husbands. You do not admit even the possibility ? Mistress. Certainly not. Kaptshish, I grant, has a peculiar mysterious look about him, but as for this new acquisition, Heaven only knows what he is like. Stout Lady. Pardon me, Anna Pavlovna, but that is a matter which is not by any means so easy to decide. Before I was married I had an extraordinary dream. Now dreams, you know, are queer things ; you never know where they begin and where they end. Well, as I was remarking, I had just such a dream Scene XVII. — The foregoing, Basil Leoniditch and Pe- trishtsheff enter. Stout Lady. And a great deal was revealed to me in that dream. Nowadays, the young men [Points to Ba- sil Leoniditch and Petrishtsheff.] deny everything. Basil Leon. I can assure you that I never deny any- thing. Never. How does that strike you ? Scene XVHI. — The foregoing. Enter Betsy and Mary Konstantinovna, and they enter into conversation with Petrishtsheff. Stout Lady. But how can you deny the supernatural ? It is not in harmony with reason, you will say. But reason may be silly, you know. How then ? Why, in the Garden Street, you know, there used to be appari- THE FBUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 109 tions every evening. My husband's brother, what is his relationship? My beau-frere, what's the other name for it? I never can remember these names for the different degrees of relationship — well, as I was remarking, he went on three successive nights to witness the appari- tions, and he saw nothing at all, so that I say Leon. Feod. Well, ladies and gentlemen, who is mind- ed to stay during the seance ? Stout Lady. I am, for one. Sakh. And I. Mistress. [To the Doctor.] You are surely not going to stay ? Doctor. Yes, I must see for once in my life what it is that Alexis Feodorovitch sees in all this. One cannot go on always denying it, without proof of some kind. Mistress. Well, am I absolutely to take it this even- ing? Doctor. Take what ? — Ah, yes, the powder. Yes, you may take it, if you like. Certainly, take it by all means. I will look in a little later. Mistress. Do, please. [la a loud voice.] When you have finished, messieurs et mesdames, I hope you will honor me by coming to the drawing-room to repose after your emotions, and to finish your games of screw. Stout Lady. Absolutely. Sakh. Certainly. [The Mistress leaves.] Scene XIX. — The foregoing, without the Mistress. Betsy. [To Petrishtsheff.] I tell you to remain. I promise you extraordinary sights. Will you bet with me? 110 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. Mary Konst. Are you a believer, then ? Betsy. I am to-day. Mary Konst. [ToPetrishtsheff.] And do you believe? Petr. " There lives more faith in honest doubt, Believe me, than in half the creeds." * Yes, of course I believe, if Elizabeth Leonidovna tells me I must. Basil Leon. Let us remain, Mary Konstantinovna. How does it strike you ? I'll devise some trick, some- thing diverting Mary Konst. No, please don't make me laugh. If you do I shall not be able to restrain myself. Basil Leon. [In a loud voice.] As for me, I remain. Leon. Feod. [Severely .] I would request then those who remain not to make fun of this. It is a very seri- ous matter indeed. Petr. You hear that ? All right, we'll remain. Vovo, sit down here and don't lose heart. Betsy. You are laughing now ; but you will see what will happen by and by. Basil Leon. No, but really — what is going to take place ? It will be jolly ! How does it strike you ? Petr. [Pretending to shiver.] Oh, I'm afraid, I'm awfully afraid ? Mary Konstantinovna, my feet are all in a tremble. Betsy. [Laughing.'] Keep quiet, please. [All present take their places.] Leon. Feod. Be seated, ladies and gentlemen. Sit down, Simon. * In the original the quotation is from a well-known Russian song. I thought it advisable to substitute the lines from Temi y- son. E. J. D. THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. Ill Simon. Yes, sir. [Sits on the extreme edge of the chair.] Leon. Feod. Sit down comfortably. Prof. Sit down properly in the middle of the chair, and be perfectly at your ease. [Seats Simon on the chair. Betsy, Mary Kon- stantinovna, and Basil Leoniditch laugh. Leon. Feod. [Raising his voice.] I earnestly request all who remain in the room to refrain from playing tricks, and to treat the matter seriously. Otherwise the consequences may be very serious. Vovo, } t ou hear what I am saying ? If you don't intend to keep quiet you can leave the room. Basil Leon. Order ! [Hides behind the Stout Lady's back.] Leon. Feod. Alexis Vladimirovitch, will you put him in a trance ? Prof. Oh, no, why should I do it when Anthony Bor- issovitch is present? He possesses much more expe- rience in these things and much greater power than I can lay claim to. Anthony Borissovitch ! Grossmann. Ladies and gentlemen, I am not prop- erly a medium. I can only say that I have investigated hypnotism. True, I have studied it in all its phases, all its bearings. But what is known as spiritualism is a terra incognita to me. As results of sending the patient to sleep, I can expect and predict various phenomena, such as lethargy, anaesthesia, analgesia, catalepsy, and several other kindred states, as well as various degrees of susceptibility to suggestion. In the present case, however, what we are assembled to investigate is not 112 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. symptoms of that category, but of a different kind ; con- sequently it would be advisable to state clearly of what nature these phenomena are, and what is their true scientific significance. Sakh. I entirely concur in the opinion of M. Gross- mann. A definition of the kind demanded would prove extremely interesting and of great assistance to us. Leon. Feod. [To the Professor.] I trust, Alexis Vladi- mirovitch, you will not refuse to make a short state- ment to elucidate the question. Prof. Why not ? If you like, I will explain the matter with pleasure. [To the Doctor.] Would you kindly measure his temperature and his pulse? My explana- tion will inevitably be superficial and concise. Leon. Feod. Yes, concise, concise Doctor. Directly. [Takes out his pocket thermometer and hands it to Simon.] Here, now, my lad [Places the thermometer.] Simon. Yes, sir. Prof. [Bises, turns to the Stout Lady, and then sits down.] Ladies and gentlemen : the phenomenon we are now gathered together to investigate is generally considered, on the one hand, as something perfectly novel, and on the other hand as something which passes the bounds of natural conditions. Now, neither hy- pothesis is correct. The phenomenon is not new ; it is as old as the world itself ; nor is it supernatural ; it is subject to, and governed by, all the eternal laws which regulate everything that exists. This phenomenon is usually defined as communion with the world of spirits. This definition, however, is inaccurate. According to this definition the spiritual world is conceived of as op- THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 113 posed to the material world. Now, this is an erroneous view to take. No such opposition really exists. Both worlds are in such close and continual contact that it would be impossible to draw the line of demarcation which separates the one from the other. We say that matter is composed of molecules Petr. It's an awfully tiresome matter. [Whispers audible, and the noise of half -sup- pressed laughter, ,] Prof. [Looking round very severely.] And precisely as mathematical calculations have demonstrated infal- libly the existence of imponderable ether, which pro- duces such phenomena as light and electricity ; so in like manner a brilliant series of experiments, conducted in the most thoroughly scientific way, by such thinkers as Herrmann, Schmidt, and Joseph Schmatzofen, prove the existence of a substance which permeates the uni- verse, and may aptly be termed spiritual ether. Stout Lady. Ah, now I understand. How grateful I am that Leon. Feod. Yes, but could the explanation, Alexis Vladimirovitch, be a little shor condensed ? Prof. [Not replying.'] And thus a series of strictly scientific experiments have revealed to us, as I have al- ready had the honor to explain to you, the laws of me- diumistic phenomena. These experiments have shown that the process of inducing in certain persons a state of hypnosis which differs from ordinary sleep only in the circumstance that in the hypnotic state the physio- logical activity of the patient is not only not perceptibly weakened, but is always intensified, as we have already had occasion to notice ; it is proved that the induction 8 114: THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. of this sleep infallibly brings with it — no matter who the patient may be — certain perturbations in the spirit- ual ether — perturbations in all essential particulars analogous to those which are produced by the sudden plunging of a solid body into a liquid. Now, these perturbations are precisely what we term mediumistic manifestations [Laughter and whispering.] Sakh. That is quite correct and reasonable ; but let me ask you one question : If, as you were good enough to state, the circumstance that a medium falls into a trance, or a state of hypnosis, causes perturbations in the spiritual ether, why is it that these perturbations invari- ably assume the form — as they are expected to do in mediumistic seances — of a sudden activity on the part of the souls of individuals who are dead ? Pkof. For the simple reason that the particles of which this spiritual ether is composed are precisely the souls of the living, the dead, and the unborn, so that every perturbation of this spiritual ether inevitably causes a corresponding movement of its constituent parts. And these parts are the souls of people which, in consequence of this movement, enter into communica- tion with each other. Stout Lady. [To Sakhatoff.] There is nothing diffi- cult to understand in all that I'm so deeply, deeply grateful to you ! Leon. Feod. It seems to me that everything is per- fectly clear now, and we might proceed to our se- ance. Doctok. The condition of the lad is perfectly nor- mal ; temperature, 37 and 2 ; pulse, 74 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 115 Prof. [Taking out his note-book and writing.'] I may mention, in confirmation of what I had the honor of say- ing a moment ago, that the instant the medium falls into a trance it is inevitable, as we have already ob- served, that his temperature and pulse should rise, ex- actly as in hypnosis. Leon. Feod. Yes, quite so. Excuse me, I only want to say a word to Sergius Ivanovitch in reply to his ques- tion : how do we know that the souls of the dead com- mune with us? We know it because the spirit who appears tells us — tells us as simply as I am now talking to you — who he is and why he has appeared, where he resides, and whether he is happy. At the last seance we had, I remember a Spaniard appeared, his name was Don Castillos, and he told us his whole history. He informed us who he was, when he died, and assured us that he was in pain because he had had a share in the Inquisition. Nor is that all : he actually told us what was happening to him at the very moment he was con- versing with us — that is to say, he told us that he was just on the point of being born again on the earth, and he gave that as the reason why he was unable to finish the conversation he had begun with us. But you will see for yourselves Stout Lady. [Interrupting.'] Now, is not that inter- esting ! Perhaps the Spaniard was born in our house, and is a little baby now. Leon. Feod. That is quite possible. Prof. I think we mi^'lit now begin. Leon. Feod. I only just wanted to say Prof. It is getting rather late. Leon. Feod. Very well, we may now commence. An- 116 THE FBITITS OP ENLIGHTENMENT. thony Borissovitch, will you kindly put the medium to sleep ? Grossmann. How do you wish me to induce sleep ? There are many methods in use. For instance, there is the method of Brede ; there is the Egyptian symbol ; then again you have Charcot's method : Leon. Feod. [To the Professor.] It seems to me that it does not very much matter. Prof. It's quite immaterial. Grossmann. All right, then I shall employ my own method, which I showed in Odessa. Leon. Feod. Please. [Grossmann makes passes over Simon. Simon closes his eyes and stretches himself out.] Grossmann. [Glancing around.] He is slumbering — he is asleep. Hypnosis has been induced in an extraor- dinarily short space of time. Evidently the patient has been before in a state of anaesthesia. He is a remarkably susceptible subject, and might be subjected to a series of highly interesting .experiments. [Sits down. Bises. Sits down again.] Now w r e might run a pin or a needle into his arm. If you wish Prof. [To Leonid as Feodorovitch.] Do you observe how the medium's sleep affects Grossmann ? He is be- ginning to vibrate. Leon. Feod. Yes, I see. May we extinguish the lights ? Sakh. But why is darkness indispensable ? Prof. Darkness ? Because it is one of the conditions under which mediumistic energy manifests itself, ex- actly as a certain temperature is a condition of certain manifestations of chemical or dynamical energy. THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 117 Leon. Feod. Besides, it is not always necessary. They appeared to numbers of persons — to me among others— by the light of candles, and of the sun, too. Prof. Can we blow out the candles ? Leon. Feod. Certainly, certainly. [Bloivs them out] Ladies and gentlemen, I would now crave your atten- tion. [Tanya creeps noiselessly from under the sofa and catches hold of the thread that is attached to one of the sta- ples near the door.] Petr. I did not at all relish the Spaniard. Just imag- ine him in the middle of the conversation bo win o* his o head and dipping under — what's called piquer une tete. Betsy. Now wait, please, till you have seen what is coming. Petr. There is only one thing I am afraid of, that Vovo will grunt like a pig. Basil Leon. Would you like me to do it — I Leon. Feod. I would earnestly request the company not to engage in conversation. Please [Dead silence. Simon sucks his finger and rubs his hand ivith it, and brandishes the latter about.] Leon. Feod. Light ! Light ! Do you see a light ? Sakh. Yes, I see it, but allow me Stout Lady. Where ? where ? Ah, I did not see it ! Ah, there it is. I see it now. Ah ! Prof. [ In a whisper to Leonid as Feodorovitch, point- ing to Grossmann, who is moving.] Do you observe how he is vibrating ? A duplex power. [Light is again seen.] JjEON. Feod. [To the Professor.] Why, that's he ? 118 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. Sakh. Who is he ? Leon. Feod. Nicholas the Greek. That is his light. Is it not so, Alexis Vladimirovitch ? Sakh. Who is Nicholas the Greek ? Prof. A certain Greek who lived as a monk in the reign of Constantine in Constantinople, and who visits tis of late. Stout Lady. Where is he ? Where is he ? I don't see him. Leon. Feod. He is not visible yet. Alexis Vladimir- ovitch, he is always very favorably disposed toward you. Question him. Prof. [In a peculiar voice.] Nicholas, is that you? [Tanya knocks twice against the wall.] Leon. Feod. [Joyfully.] It's he, it's Nicholas ! Stout Lady. Ai ! Ai ! I'll leave the room. Sakh. What grounds are there for supposing that it is he ? Leon. Feod. Two knocks. That is an affirmative reply. Otherwise the silence would not have been broken. [Silence. Suppressed laughter from the young people's corner. Tanya shies the lamp-shade on the table and follows it up by hurling the pencil and pen-wiper.] Leon. Feod. [In a ivhisper.] Do you notice, ladies and gentlemen, that is the lamp-shade. There was something else — oh, it's the pencil. Alexis Vladimiro- vitch, it's the pencil. Prof. Very good. I am watching him and Gross- mann. Do you notice ? [Grossmann rises from his seat and looks at the things which were thrown on the table,] THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT \ 119 Sakh. Excuse me, excuse me. I should very much like to convince myself that it is not the medium who is doing all this himself. Leon. Feod. Do you think that possible? Sit down beside him and take hold of his hands. But trust me, he is fast asleep. Sakh. [Approaches ; his head comes in contact with the thread which Tanya immediately slackens, bending, as she does so, in a terrible fright.] Ah-a-a-h ! It's odd, very odd. [Approaches Simon and takes him by the elbow. Simon howls.] Prof. [To Leonidas Feodorovitch.] Do you observe how Grossmann's presence affects him ? That is a new phenomenon ; I must note that [Leaves the room and makes a note of it, after ivhich he returns.] Leon. Feod. Yes But we cannot leave Nicholas without an answer. We should commence Grossmann. [Rises from his place, goes over to Simon, Ufts his arm and lets it fall.] It would be interesting now to produce contraction. The patient is in profound hypnosis. Prof. [To Leon. Feod.] Do you see, do you see ? Grossmann. If you desire Doctor. Had you not better allow Alexis Vladimiro- vitch to manage everything ; it is a very serious mat- ter. Prof. Leave him alone. He is now speaking in his sleep. Stout Lady. How glad I am now that I resolved to be present. It is an awful sight, but still I am very glad, because I always used to say to my husband 120 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. Leon. Feod. Silence, please. [Tanya moves the thread over the Stout Lady's head.] Stout Lady. Ah ! Ai ! Ai ! Leon. Feod. What's the matter ? Stout Lady. He seized me by the hair. Leon. Feod. [In a whisper.] Don't fear anything. It's all right. Give him your hand. A spirit's hand is usually cold, but I rather like that. Stout Lady. Not for anything ! [Hides her hand.'] Sakh. Yes, it's certainly very strange, very strange ! Leon. Feod. He is present here and seeks communion. Who wishes to ask him anything ? Sakh. Permit me to ask him a question. Prof. Please. Sakh. Do I believe, yes or no ? [Tanya gives two knocks.] Prof. It is an answer in the affirmative. Sakh. Permit me to put another question. Have I a ten-rouble note in my pocket ? [Tanya knocks many times and draws the thread over Sakhatoff's head.] Sakh. Ah ! [Catches the thread and breaks it.] Prof. I would ask those present not to put vague and jocular questions. The spirit does not like it. Sakh. Allow me, please. I have the thread in my hands. Leon. Feod. Thread ? Preserve it. That frequently happens ; and not only thread but silk cords, very ancient ones they usually are. THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 121 Sakh. No, but where did this thread come from ? [Tanya shies a cushion at his heal.] Sakh. Excuse me, but I have been struck in the head by something soft. Light the candle — there's some- thing there Prof. We ask you not to hinder the manifestation. Stout Lady. For God's sake, don't hinder it ! I should like to put a question. Have I permission to do so? Leon. Feod. Certainly, ask it. Stout Lady. I should like to interrogate him about my digestion. May I ? I only want to ask him what I ought to take — aconite or belladonna ? [Silence; whispering in the vicinity of the young people. Suddenly Basil Leoniditch screams like an infant in arms ; ya ! ya ! ya ! Laughter. Holding their mouths and noses, and snorting and tittering, the young ladies rush out of the room, and Petrishtsheff with them.] Stout Lady. Ah, it's true then ; this monk here has also been born again ! Leon. Feod. [In a paroxysm of fury, speaking in a whisper.] I never see anything but tomfoolery from you. If you can't conduct yourself properly, leave the room ! [Basil Leoniditch leaves the room.] 122 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. Scene XX. — Leonidas Feodorovitch, the Professor, the Stout Lady, Sakhatoff, Grossmann, the Doctor, Simon, and Tanya. Obscurity — silence. Stout Lady. Ah, what a pity ! Now it is too late to ask him anything more. He is already born again. Leon. Feod. Not at all. That is another of Vovo's tricks. But he is present in the room. Question him. Prof. That is a frequent occurrence. These jokes and sneers are often met with. I believe he is still in the room. At all events we can ask. Leonidas Feodoro- vitch, will you inquire ? Leon. Feod. No, you, please. That incident has upset me. It is very vexing. A complete want of tact Prof. As you like. Nicholas, are you still here ? [Tanya knocks twice and rings the bell. Simon begins to hotel and brandish his hands. He seizes Sakhatoff and the Professor and squeezes them.] Prof. "What an unexpected manifestation ! Reaction on the medium himself. I never observed this before. Leonidas Feodorovitch, will you observe him, it is diffi- cult for me to do it. He is squeezing me. Now is the time to watch Grossmann ; give him all your attention. [Tanya throws the Peasant's document on the table.] Leon. Feod. What has fallen on the table now ? Prof. See what it is that has just fallen ? Leon. Feod. A paper. A folded sheet of paper. [Tanya throws the pocket inkstand.] Leon. Feod. An inkstand ! [Tanya shies the pen.] THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 123 Leon. Feod. A pen ! [Simon hotels and squeezes.'] Prof. [Squeezed as in a vise.] Permit me, permit me ; this is a quite novel manifestation ; the action be- ing performed not by the mediumistic energy produced, but by the medium himself. But open the ink-bottle and put the pen on the paper. He is going to write, he will certainly write. [Tanya steals up behind Leonid as Feodorovitch and gives him a sound blow on the head with the guitar.] Leon. Feod. I have been struck on the head ! [Looks on the table.] The pen is not writing yet, and the paper is still folded. Prof. Look at the paper and see what kind of paper it is ; make haste ; obviously there is a twofold force at work ; his and Grossmann's — that is what is producing the perturbations. Leon. Feod. [Goes out with the paper and immediately returns.] It's incredible ! This paper here is the con- tract with the Peasants, which I refused to sign this morning and returned to them ! Perhaps he wishes me to sign it now ? Prof. Evidently ! Of course he does ! But ask him. Leon. Feod. Nicholas ! Do you wish [Tanya knocks twice.] Prof. Do you hear that ? It is perfectly evident ! [Leonidas Feodorovitch takes up the pen and leaves the room. Tanya knocks, plays the guitar and the con- certina, and crawls back to her hiding-place under the sofa., Leonidas Feodorovitch returns, Simon stretches himself and coughs.] 124 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. Leon. Feod. He is awaking. We might light the candles. Prof. [Hurriedly.] Doctor, doctor, please— his tem- perature and pulse. You will see directly that there will be a rise in both. Leon. Feod. Well, unbelievers, what have you to say now ? Doctor. [Going up to Simon and placing the thermom- eter.] Now, lad ! Have you been sleeping? Stand up and give me your hand. [Looks at his vjatch.] Sakh. [Shrugging his shoulders.] I can only affirm that the medium could not do everything that was done. But what about the thread? — I should like to have that explained. Leon. Feod. The thread! the thread ! There were other manifestations more serious than that. Sakh. I don't know. At all events I reserve my opinion. Stout Lady. [To Sakhatoff.] Now, how can you say that you reserve your opinion? What do you say to the baby with the wings? Did you not see him? At first I thought it was an illusion, but little by little it grew more and more distinct, until at last it was per- fectly life-like Sake. I can only speak of what I saw. I did not see that at all. Stout Lady. How is that possible ? Why, it could not have been more clearly visible. And on the left side a monk in a black habit was bending down over him. Sakh. [.isicte.] What an exaggeration ! THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 125 Stout Lady. [To the Doctor.] You must have seen it. He rose up from your side of the room. [The Doctor pays no attention to her, but goes on counting the pulsations.'] Stout Lady. [To Grossmann.] And the light, the light that beamed from him, especially around his dear little face. And what a mild, sweet, tender expression ! There was something heavenly in it ! [She herself smiles tenderly.] Grossmann. I saw the phosphoric light and I noticed that certain things changed their places. But I did not observe anything else. Stout Lady. Nonsense ! You are only joking. You speak in that w T ay because you belong to the learned school of Charcot and do not believe in a life beyond the grave. But now no one will ever skake my faith in a future existence ! Never, never ! [Grossmann walks away from her.] Stout Lady. No, no ; say what you will, but this is one of the happiest moments of my life. When Sara- sate played, and this Yes — [No one pays any atten- tion to her. She goes up to Simon.] Tell me, my friend, what you experienced. Was it very painful for you ? Simon. [Laughs.] That it was. Stout Lady. Still it was possible to bear up under it ? Simon. That it was. [To Leonidas Feodoroyttch.] Is it your orders as I'm -to go, sir ? Leon. Feod, Go, go. Doctor. [To the Professor.] The pulse is the same, but the temperature is somewhat lower. Prof. Lower? [Reflects a moment, and then suddenly divines the solution.] That is exactly as it should be. 126 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. There must be a lowering of the temperature ! The twofold energy, each intersecting the other, must inevit- ably produce something like interference Yes, yes ! Leon. Feod.* One thing I very much regret, that he had not a complete materialization. But still, ladies and gentlemen, will you kindly adjourn to the drawing- room ? Stout Lady.* What impressed me most of all was when he flapped his little wings, and made ready to fly away. Grossmann.* [To Sakhatoff.] If we had stuck to simple hypnosis, w T e might have produced complete epilepsy. We should have had unparalleled success. Sakh.* It is interesting, but not quite convincing ! That is all that I can say about it. Scene XXI. — Leonid as Feodorovitch, with the paper in his hand. Enter Feodor Ivanitch. Leon. Feod. Well, Feodor, it was a seance and no mistake ; simply wonderful ! It appears that I have to let the Peasants have the land on their own conditions. Feod. Ivan. Keally ! Leon. Feod. Yes, it has to be. [Showing him the doc- ument.'] Fancy, the paper that I returned them sud- denly appeared on the table. I signed it. Feod. Ivan. How did it get there ? Leon. Feod. It got there somehow or other. [Feodor Ivanitch accompanies him out of the room.'] * All four persons speak together as they are leaving the room. THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 127 Scene XXII. — Tanya alone. Craivls from under the sofa and laughs. Tanya. Father above ! didn't I get a fright when he caught the thread ! [Squeals.] Well, it succeeded in the end — he signed the paper ! Scene XXIII. — Tanya and Gregory. Greg. So it was you that bamboozled them all along ! Tanya. What's that to you ? Greg. And do you suppose that the mistress will thank you for that ? No, miss, you are mightily mis- taken if you do. I'll go and tell the whole story of your tricks unless you consent to dance a little to my piping. Tanya. I won't dance to your music — and you shan't do me any harm neither ! Curtain. ACT rv. Scene and decorations the same as in Act I. Scene I. — Two liveried Men-in- Waiting, Feodor Ivanitch, and Gregory. 1st Man-in-Waiting. [With gray whiskers.] Yours is the third house as we've visited to-day. It is a blessing that the at-home days are all in one quarter of the city. Thursday used to be your day. Feod. Ivan. We changed it Saturday, to have it the same day as the Golovkins, the Von Grabes 2d Man-in-Waiting. The Shtsherb-akoffs do the thing respectable ; it's all one as a ball, they treat the men-in- waiting so hospitably. Scene II. — The foregoing. The Princess and her daughter descend the staircase, accompanied by Betsy. The Princess glances at her little book, and at her watch, and sits down on the bench. Gregory puts her boots on. Young Prin. Please do come. If you refuse, Dodo will refuse too, and it will all come to nothing. Betsy. I cannot promise. I must be at the Shoobin's without fail. Then I've got my rehearsal. Young Prin. You will have plenty of time. Please do THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 129 come. Do not disappoint us. Fedy will be there, and Koko. Betsy. Oh, that Koko! He positively bores me to death. Young Prin. I expected to find him at your place. Usually he is so scrupulously punctual that Betsy. He is sure to be here. Young Prin. Every time I see him with you he gives me the impression as if he had just offered you, or was on the point of offering you, his hand and his heart. Betsy. Yes, I dare say it's an ordeal I shall have to pass through. And a very disagreeable one it is ! Young Prin. Poor Koko ! He is so terribly in love. Betsy. Cease ! Les gens ! . [The Princess sits down on the sofa, continuing to con- verse in a whisper. Gregory puts her boots on.~] Young Prin. Good-by till this evening, then. Betsy. I will do my best to come. Young Prin. Tell your papa that I do not believe in anything, but that I will come to see his new medium all the same. Let him send me word when. Good-by, ma belle. [Kisses Betsy and leaves, escorted by her. Betsy then goes upstairs.~\ Scene III. — Two Lackeys, Feodor Ivanitch, and Gregory. Greg. I don't like putting old women's boots on for them. They cannot stoop ; their abdomen hinders them from seeing what's going on on the floor, and they kick right and left, and never get their feet in the boots. How different when it's a young lady that you have to 9 130 THE FBUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. manipulate. How nice to take her dainty little feet in your hands. 2d Lackey. You, too, go in for choosing and picking ! 1st Lackey. Individuals of our calling in life are not supposed to pick and choose in such matters. Greg. I should like to know why not. Are we not human beings too ? It's them that think we don't un- derstand, and can't, appreciate, and so on. When they were talking a few minutes ago they looked at me, and said in French, "lay John." [Les gens.] 2d Lackey. And what might that mean ? Greg. I'll translate it for you. It means : don't talk, or they'll understand you. At dinner it's the same thing, and I understand them. You say there's a differ- ence between them and us. There's not the ghost of a difference. 1st Lackey. Oh, yes, there is a considerable difference for the fellow that comprehends what they're saying. Greg. There is no difference at all, I tell you. To- day I am a lackey, but to-morrow I may be living as comfortably as themselves, every bit. Don't their daughters sometimes get married to lackeys ? Do you forget that ? But I am going out for a smoke. [Exit. Scene IV. — The foregoing , without Gregory. 2d Lackey. That's a bold young man you have here. Feod. Ivan. And an empty-headed one. He is not fit for the service ; he was a clerk behind the counter — now he is spoiled. I advised them not to take him, but he took the mistress's fancy. For riding out he was taken, I suppose. THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 131 1st Lackey. I'd send him to our Count ; he'd soon put him straight, and make him mind his p's and q's. Oh, doesn't he hate .such Jack-in-the-boxes ! If you're a lackey, he wants you to be a lackey and nothing else. Do credit to your calling, and no nonsensical pride. That's his motto. Scene V. — TJie foregoing. Petrishtsheff runs down- stairs, and takes out a cigarette. He meets Koko Kltngen, who is ivearing his pince-nez. Petrish. [Lost in reverie.] Yes, yes, that's it. My second is the same as "ka." My whole Yes, yes Ah, good-day, Koko-Cockatoo. Where do you hail from ? Koko. From Shtsherba-koffs. You are always fool- ing Petrish. No, but just guess this charade : My first is identical with a famous monarch's name, my second is the same as " ka," and my whole Koko. I really don't know. And, besides, I've no time now. Petr. Why, where are you bound for ? Koko. What do you mean? Why, to Iveen's, of course ; they've a singing rehearsal, and I must be there. After that, I have to go to the Shoobin's, and then to the rehearsal. Why, you have to be there yourself. Petr. Certainly, I shall be there ; at the rehearseal, and at the re-coach-al. My role was only that of a wild man before, whereas now I am a wild man and a general also. 132 THE FMZflfS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. Koko. How did yesterday's seance pass off? Pete. I nearly choked with laughing. There was a rustic there as a medium, but the darkness was the best part of it. Vovo squeaked like a baby, the Pro- fessor explained matters, and Mary Vassilievna inter- preted them. It was as good as a comedy. It's an awful pity you were not there ! Koko. I am afraid, mon cher. You turn everything off with a joke very dexterously, you know ; but the fact is, I am afraid that if I make even a most trivial re- mark, you will give it such a turn as will make it seem to everyone that I have proposed for her hand. And that would not suit me at all, mon cher ; not at all, you know. Pete. Let your proposal of hand and heart not be a disposal of either. That's your cue. Come along to Vovo's room, and well go to the re-coach-al together. Koko. I cannot understand how you can be always together with that stupid ass. He is the very incarna- tion of stupidity. Pete. I like the fellow all the same. I love him, but it is " such love as spirits feel In worlds whose course is equable aud pure." [Leaves the room, and goes into Basil Leoni- ditch's room.'] Scene VI. — The two Lackeys-in- Waiting, Feodoe Ivan- itch, and Koko Klingen. Betsy is seen escorting a Lady. Koko salutes her significantly. Betsy. [Shaking hands ivith him sideways. To the Lady.] You are acquainted, I think ? THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 133 Lady. No. Betsy. Baron Klingen, why were you not here yester- day ? Koko. It was an impossibility ; I could not manage it. Betsy. It's a great pity. It was immensely interest- ing. [Laughs.] You should have seen what kind of mani- festations we had ! Well, how is our charade getting od ? Koko. Fairly. The verses on " my second " are ready. Nick composed them, and I wrote the music. Betsy. Do sing a line of it for me ! What is it like? Koko. Let me think. Ah, yes ! The Knight is sing- ing to Nouni ; or better take the other, " My first." Betsy. [To the Lady.] "My first" is "are" [the word is arena], and Are is a savage who wants to eat the ob- ject of her love. [Laughs.] She prowls about and pines and sings — My appetite Koko. [Interrupting.'] 'S a wicked wight. Betsy. \ Continuing.] Some lad I long to swallow. I prowl and growl, Koko But can't fall foul Betsy. Of a fat and tender fellow. Lady. It is truly charming ! Betsy. But isn't it too awfully stupid? Koko. That is the beauty of the thing. Lady. Who is Are? Betsy. I am. I had a costume made for the part, but mamma calls it " indecent." But it is not one whit more indecent than a good low ball-dress is. [To Feo- dor Ivanitch.] Is there anyone here from Bourdet's? Feod. Ivan. Yes, miss, their clerk is in the kitchen, waiting. 134 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. Lady. What is the whole, the word arena, like ? Betsy. You will see. I shall not spoil your pleasure by telling you anything more beforehand. Good-by. Lady. Good-by. [They salute each other. Exit Lady.] Betsy. [To Koko.] Come with me to mamma. [Betsy and Koko go upstairs.] Scene VII. — Feodor Ivanitch, the two Lackeys, and James. The latter comes from the pantry ivith a tray, tea, and cakes, puffing and snorting as he passes through the antechamber. James. [To the Lackeys.] My best respects, my best respects. [The Lackeys salute him.] James. [To Feodor Ivanitch.] I wish you would ask Gregory Michaelovitch to help me. I'm fagged out ! [Exit. Scene VIII. — The foregoing, without James. 1st Lackey. A hard-working man that seems. Feod. Ivan. A very good fellow he is ; but somehow he does not please the mistress. He is not imposing enough, she says. And yesterday they were down upon him for letting the Peasants into the kitchen. They may cashier him for it, for all I know. But he is a first-rate fellow, no matter what they say. 2d Lackey. What Peasants did he admit ? Feod. Ivan. Some peasants that came from the Govern- ment of Kursk to buy land. It was night-time, and they were countrymen of his, so he took them to the THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 135 kitchen, and as ill-luck would have it, a performance of thought-reading was going on. Something was hid in the kitchen ; all the ladies and gentlemen came into the kitchen, and the mistress espied the Peasants there. "How dare you?" she says. "They are infected; perhaps these men are. And nothing will do but you must bring them into the kitchen ! " She is terribly frightened of that contagion. Scene IX. — The foregoing and Gregory. Feod. Ivan. Gregory, go and give James a hand, he is awfully tired. I'll remain here alone till you come back. He can't manage all he's got to do by himself. Greg. He is not smart or handy — that's what's wrong with him. [Exit. Scene X. — The foregoing, without Gregory. 1st Lackey. What new fashion is that that's prevailing now, wherever you go — these infections and things? Yours is afraid of it too, is she ? Feod. Ivan. She fears it w r orse than fire, she does. All her thoughts now are of smoking, washing, and sprinkling the room. 1st Lackey. That's what that heavy smell is that I re- mark. [Vivaciously.] It is absurd ! and what sins are committed with these infections and rubbish! It's scandalous ! They've forgotten God altogether. When the daughter of our mistress's sister, Princess Mossoloff, died the other day, what d'ye think happened ? Neither the father nor the mother would go into the room 136 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. while she was dying ! And they didn't even take leave of the poor thing, who was crying her eyes out to see them, and say good-by for the last time ! The doctor, it seems, found that there was some infection in the room. And yet, in spite of all the bosh they talk about it, didn't her chambermaid go into her room twenty times a day, and the sick-nurse too, and they were never a bit the worse for it ! Scene XI. — The foregoing, Bash, Leoniditch and Pet- rishtsheff smoking cigarettes as they enter. Pete. Do come. I'll only go and fetch Koko-Cock- atoo. Basil Leon. He's a blockhead, is your Koko. I can't bear the sight of him. He is an empty-headed duffer, a perfect dolt. He never has anything in hand, but is al- ways moping and moping about. How does it strike you? Petr. Wait a second, anyhow. I'll say good-by to him, at all events. Basil Leon. All right. While you're away I'll go and have a look at my dogs in the coach-house. One of hhem is so confoundedly vicious, the coachman says, that he was near being eaten by him. How does that strike you ? Petr. Who was nearly being eaten, by whom ? Surely the coachman would not think of devouring your dog ? Basil Leon. Oh, you were ever and always [Puts on his top-coat and leaves.'] Petr. [ Reflectively. ~] My second is — Yes; that's it [Goes upstairs.'] THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 137 Scene XII. — TJie two Lackeys, Feodor Ivanitch, and James. The latter runs across the stage at the beginning and at the end of the scene. Feod. Ivan. [To James.] What's wanted now ? James. The bread and batter is not cut up into slices ! I told them. . [Exit. 2d Lackey. And when our master's son fell sick they packed him off at once to the hotel with the nurse, and he died there without seeing his mother. 1st Lackey. Just like them. Those swells are not afraid of committing any sin. It's my private opinion that, no matter where you go or what you do, you can- not escape from God. Feod. Ivan. That's what I believe, too. [James runs upstairs with the slices of bread and butter.] 1st Lackey. And observe what I say. If we've got to be afraid of everybody because they may have the con- tagion, we might as well shut ourselves up within four walls, just as in prison, and sit there without ever stir- ring out. Scene XIII. — The foregoing and Tanya. James enters a little later. Tanya. [Salutes the Lackeys.] Good-day ! [The Lackeys salute her.] Tanya. Feodor Ivanitch ! I have a word to say to you. Feod. Ivan. Well, what is it ? Tanya. The Peasants are back here again. 138 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. Feod. Ivan. What of that ? I gave the document to Simon. Tanya. Yes ; I gave them the document. They don't know how to be thankful enough. They would like now to pay the money. Feod. Ivan. Where are they ? Tanya. They are standing there on the doorsteps. Feod. Ivan. All right, I'll go and deliver the message. Tanya. I have another request to make, Feodor Ivan- itch, my dear father ! Feod. Ivan. Well, what next? Tanya. It's this, Feodor Ivanitch, that I cannot stay here any longer. Ask them. Discharge me. [James rushes in.] Feod. Ivan. [To James.] What's wanted now? James. Another samovar and oranges. Feod. Ivan. Ask the housekeeper for them. [James rushes of.] Feod. Ivan. What's that for? Tanya. It has to be. It can't be altered. James. [Running in. ] There's not enough oranges ! Feod. Ivan. Serve as many as you can find. [James runs out.] What a time you have chosen to go away. You see the bustle and fuss there is going on Tanya. You know, Feodor Ivanitch, that that bustle never comes to an end ; no matter how long I might wait, it would still go on and on ; and you know that the step I am going to take is for ever and ever. You, Feodor Ivanitch, my good father, you have done me a good turn, and now crown it by finding an opportunity to tell them and get me my discharge. If you don't, herself will be angry and won't give me my passport. THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 139 Feod. Ivan. Why are you leaving in such a hurry- skurry way, as if the Old Boy were at your heels? Tanya. Because, now, you know, Feodor Ivanitch, as the business i3 done and over— I should like to go to my godmother and get ready, you know. And the wed- ding will be the week after Easter. Do tell him, Feo- dor Ivanitch. Feod. Ivan. Go away now — that's not the place for you to be standing in. Scene XIV. — TJie Elderly Gentleman comes downstairs ' and departs in silence, escorted by the 2d Lackey. Tanya is seen going out. Feodor Ivanitch, the 1st Lackey, and James entering. James. They've cut me to the quick, Feodor Ivan- itch ; there's herself as wants to give me my discharge. You break everything you touch, she says, and you for- got Fiffra, and you took the Peasants to the kitchen in spite of my orders to the contrary. And you know that's not true, I am innocent of it as the child un- born. I was told by Tanya to take them to the kitchen, but I didn't know whose orders it was. Feod. Ivan. Has the mistress told you she was going to give you your discharge ? James. Yes, she's just told me. Intercede for me, Feodor Ivanitch ! My family were only just beginning to look up a little, and now if I lose my place, they'll be as low as ever they was before. And God knows that's low enough. Feodor Ivanitch, do intercede for me ! 140 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. Scene XV. — Feodob Ivanitch, 1st Lackey, and Mistress escorting the Old Countess with the false hair and teeth. The 1st Lackey is putting on the Old Count- ess's boots. Mistress. By all means, certainly. I am deeply touched. Countess. If it were not for my ill-health, I would be much oftener here. Mistress. Now do take Peter Petrovitch. He is a little rough, but no one can alleviate your sufferings as he can. Everything he does seems so simple and so clear. Countess. No, I am accustomed to my own. Mistress. Be very careful. Countess. Thanks, my best thanks. Scene XVI. — The foregoing and Gregory, looking dis* he veiled and greatly excited, and rushing in from the pantry. Behind him Simon is visible. Simon. Well, then, don't dare to molest her. Greg. I'll teach you, you scoundrel, I'll teach you how to fight. Ah, you — miserable vagabond ! Mistress. What's that about? Do you take this house for a tavern ? Greg. I can't live here with this clownish peasant. Mistress. You have taken leave of your senses ! Do you not see? [To the Countess.] Thanks, a thousand thanks. Good-by, till Tuesday, then. [The Countess and the 1st Lackey leave.] THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 141 Scene XVII. — Feodor Ivanitch, Mistress, Gregory, and Simon. Mistress. [To Gregory.] "What does that mean ? Greg. Although I am serving as a lackey, I have my own feeling of pride, and I won't allow a boorish peas- ant to knock me about. Mistress. What has happened? Greg. Your Simon forgot his place since ever he was allowed to sit with his superiors. And now nothing will do him but fight. Mistress. What's that for ? Greg. God only knows. Mistress. [To Simon.] What is the meaning of your conduct ? Simon. What does he run after her for ? Mistress. What has happened between you ? Simon. [Smiling.] He's always throwing his arms round her waist — Tanya's, that is, the chambermaid's. And she won't have it. Well, I removed his hand a little — so, like that Greg. A nice way of removing my hand ! He nearly broke my rib, and he tore my swallow-tail coat. And all the time he kept saying, " I feel the power I had yesterday coming upon me again." And he began to hug and squeeze me till I thought every rib in my body was broken. Mistress. [To Simon.] How dare you fight in my house ? Feod. Ivan. Would you allow me to tell your ladyship, Anna Pavlovna, that Simon entertains sentiments toward 142 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. Tanya, and that they are engaged to be married ; and Gregory — if the truth must be told — conducts himself badly toward her — shamefully. It's this, I dare say, that vexed Simon. Greg. Not at all. It's all from spite, because I found out their trickery and deceit. Mistress. What deceit ? Greg. At the seance. All the things that happened yesterday were done by Tanya, and not by Simon. I saw her myself, when she was crawling from under the sofa. Mistress. What was crawling from under the sofa? Greg. I give you my word of honor. It was she that brought in the document and put it on the table. If it was not for her the paper would not have been signed, and the Peasants would not have got the land. Mistress. You say you saw that yourself? Greg. With my own eyes. If you order her to come here she won't deny it. Mistress. Call her at once. [Exit Gregory. Scene XVIII. — The foregoing, without Gregory. Noise behind the scenes, the voice of the Hall-Porter audible, saying : " You must not, you must not." The Hall-Porter appears, the three Peasants rush past him, the 2d Peasant leading the loay. The 3d Peasant slips, falls, and takes hold of his nose. Hall-Porter. You must not, you must not ! 2d Peas. Maybe no harm will come of it. Are we wanting to get in to do a bad action ? We w r ant to pay the money. THE FBTJITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 143 1st Peas. Undoubtedly, after the signature was affixed to the handwriting the consummation of the deed was terminated. What we now want is to give the money and our thanks. Mistress. Don't be in a hurry to offer your thanks. It was all a trick. It is not finished yet. The land is not yet sold. Leonidas ! Call Leonidas Feodorovitch ! [Exit Hall-Porter. Scene XIX. — The foregoing and Leonidas Feodorovitch, who enters, but on perceiving the Mistress and the Peasants is about to turn on his heels. Mistress. No, no ! Please come here. I told you that you should not sell the land on credit, and every- one told you the same thing. And here, now, you have been deceived like the most stupid man. Leon. Feod. How deceived ? I don't follow you. In what? Mistress. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. You, a gray-haired man, and they leading you by the nose, and laughing at you all the time. You grudge your son a miserable three hundred roubles to help him keep up his social position, and they cheat you out of thousands. Leon. Feod. Annette, calm yourself. 1st Peas. "We only wished that the payment of the sum 3d Peas. [Getting the money ready.] Let us go, for Christ's sake ! Mistress. Wait a little, wait a little. 144 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. Scene XX. — The foregoing, Gregory, and Tanya. Mistress. [Severely to Tanya.] Yesterday, during the seance, you were in the little parlor ? [Tanya sighs and looks around at Feodor Ivanitch, Leon- id as Feodorovitch, and Simon.] Greg. There's no use in backing out of it now, for I saw you myself- Mistress. Answer me, were you ? I know all, so you had better confess. I shall not do you any harm. I only want to convict him there [Pointing to Leonidas Feodorovitch], the master. — You threw the paper on the table. Tanya. I don't know what to answer. This is my answer : can't you discharge me, and let me go home ? Mistress. [To Leonidas Feodorovitch.] You see that now ; they have been fooling you nicely. Scene XXI. — The same. Betsy enters at the beginning of the scene and remains unnoticed. Tanya. Discharge me, Anna Pavlovna ! Mistress. No, my love. You have caused a loss, per- haps, of several thousands. We have sold land that should not have been sold. Tanya. Discharge me, Anna Pavlovna ! Mistress. No, I will not. You will be responsible for all this. You must not cheat. I will prosecute you be- fore the magistrate. Betsy. [Stepping forward.] Discharge her, mamma. But if you are really bent on prosecuting her, prosecute THE FRUITS OP ENLIGHTENMENT. 145 me at the same time, because I was along with her and had a hand in all she did yesterday. Mistress. Ah, of course, if you had a hand in it, noth- ing but villainy could come of it ! Scene XXII. — The foregoing and the Professor. Prof. Good-day, Anna Pavlovna ! Good-day, Miss Betsy ! I have brought you, Leonidas Feodorovitch, a report of the 13th Congress of Spiritualists in Chicago. Schmidt delivered a wonderful speech there. Leon. Feod. Ah, that will be interesting. Mistress. I can tell you something much more inter- esting than that. It has been proved that this hussy here has hoaxed yourself and my husband. Betsy de- nounces herself — but that is only to irritate me ; as a matter of fact you were befooled by this ignorant girl ! And yet you still believe ! There were no mediumistic manifestations yesterday at all ; it was she alone who operated, and did everything. \ Points to Tanya.] Prof. {Taking off his overcoat.] What do you mean ? Mistress. I mean that it was she w r ho in the darkness played the guitar, that it was she who knocked my hus- band on the head and managed all your other tom- fooleries, and she has just confessed to it. Prof. [Smiling.] Well, and what does that prove ? Mistress. That your mediumism is an absurdity. That is what it proves. Prof. Because this girl strove to deceive us, therefore mediumism is trash. That, if I gather it aright, is your 10 146 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. contention? [Smiling.] A very strange conclusion it is! It is very probable that this girl did really intend to deceive us. Such things are of frequent occurrence. It may be that she actually performed something. But whatever she did, she did herself, and what was mani- fested as the result of mediumistic energy was the result of mediumistic energy, and of nothing else. I will go still further, and say that it is highly prob- able that the action of that girl was instrumental in soliciting — if I may use the expression — in soliciting the manifestation of the mediumistic force, and impart- ing to it the definite form which it assumed. Mistress. Another lecture ! Prof. [Severely.] You assert, Anna Pavlovna, that that girl, and perhaps that amiable young lady, were the authoresses of certain so-called manifestations of spiritualistic form ; but are you prepared to affirm that they also produced the light which we beheld, and like- wise the increase and decrease of temperature, and the excitement and vibration of Grossmann ? And yet these are facts, I say, Anna Pavlovna ! No, Anna Pavlovna, these are matters which must be studied and completely understood before one trusts one's self to speak of them — matters far too serious, far too serious Leon. Feod. And the child that Vassilievna saw so distinctly ? And I saw it myself, too This girl could not have produced that. Mistress. You think you are clever and intelligent, no doubt. Let me tell you then, that you are a fool ! Leon. Feod. I had better go. Alexis Vladimirovitch, come to my room. [Goes to his study.] THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 147 Prof. [Shrugging his shoulders and following him.] Alas ! what an abyss still separates us from enlightened Europe ! Scene XXffl. — The Mistress, the three Peasants, Feodor Ivanitch, Tanya, Betsy, Gregory, Simon, and James, ivho enters. Mistress. [Following Leonidas Feodorovitch.] He has been led by the nose like any fool, and he is not conscious of it. [To James.] What do you want? James. For how many persons am I to lay covers ? Mistress. For how many ? — Feodor Ivanitch ! take over the silver plate from him ! Begone this minute ! He is the cause of it all. That fellow will drag me to my grave. Yesterday he very nearly starved to death the little dog that never did him any harm. Not satis- fied with this, he brought the infected Peasants into the kitchen yesterday, and here they are to-day again. He is the cause of all the trouble ! Begone, I tell you, begone this instant ! Discharge him, pay him his wages, and discharge him. [To Simon.] And if ever again you dare to make a noise in my house, you wretched peasant, I will teach you too a lesson you will not forget. 2d Peas. If he's such a wretched peasant, it's useless to keep him on ; give him his discharge at once and make an end of it. Mistress. [Listening to him and surveying the 3d Peasant.] Oh, look at him there — he has a rash on his nose, a rash, I say ! He is ill — he is a perfect reser- voir of infection ! ! Did I not give orders yesterday that 148 THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. they were not to be admitted, and yet here they are again! Drive them oat at once ! Feod. Ivan. Then your ladyship's orders are not to accept the money from them ? Mistkess. The money? Take the money, but drive them away at once — especially that fellow there — this minute, away with him ! He is perfectly rotten. 3d Peas. Indeed I'm not, mother. God knows you're vastly mistaken. Ask my old woman, and she'll tell you. Do I look rotten ? I am like a piece of glass, I may say. Mistress. The fellow presumes to discuss it with me ! Begone, begone ! I say. It is done out of malice ! No, I cannot — I cannot support this any longer. Send for Peter Petrovitch. [Exit hurriedly, sobbing, James and Gregory leave. Scene XXIV. — Feodor Ivanitch, the three Peasants, and the Hall-Porter. 1st Peas. How, my dear man, is it going to be rela- tively to the receiving of the money to-day ? 2d Peas. Discharge us. 3d Peas. [Turning over the bank-notes, and looking wistfully at them, as if unwilling to part with them.] If I'd known what 'ud happen, I'd never have undertook it — I wouldn't. It'll dry me up worse than the cruellest sickness. Feod. Ivan. [To Hall-Porter.] Take them to my room ; there is a counting-board there. I'll receive the money. Go now. Hall-Porter. Let's be going. Come along. TEE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT. 149 Feod. Ivan. Be thankful to Tanya, for if it had not been for her you would never have got the land. 1st Peas. True enough for you. She invented a pre- text, and she executed it faithfully. 3d Peas. She made men of us, that's what she did. If it wasn't for her what would we do ? The land is scanty ; no place to turn a beast into ; no, nor a hen, for that matter. Goocl-by, bright girl ! When you are in our parts, come and eat honey with us. 2d Peas. Wait till I get home, and I'll get ready everything for the wedding. Ill brew beer. Only don't fail to come. Tanya. Til come, I will. [Squeals.] Simon ! That's splendid ! [The Peasants leave.] Scene XXV. — Feodor Ivanitch, Tanya, and Simon. Feod. Ivan. God be with you ! Mind now, Tanya ! When you've got youi; own house and household, I'll come and spend some time as your guest. Shall I be welcome ! Tanya. As welcome, my dove, as my own father ! [Embraces and kisses him.] Curtain. LOVELL'S WESTMINSTER SERIES. 1. 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It con- tains material for an afternoon's recreation, and yet has all the interest of the more pretentious novel. PAPER, 25 CENTS. 9» TPaSgJOn tbe UMagtbtltg - By R. Murray Gilchrist " This well-written little story must be read to be appreciated." — London Athene - - By j. Gwynne Bettany The lovers of lcve stories will find in this one after their own heart — bright and pleasing. The words flow from her pen without any effort. PAPER, 25 CENTS. 22. movh TJilbile 13e 1bav?e tbe Xfgb t By Count Lyof Tolstoi The story is mainly occupied in drawing a detailed contrast between Pagan and Christian life and though:, developed through dialogue filled with Tolstoi's extraordinary power. Like all his books, the story is strongly written, as to the doctrine which it teaches, that hardly comes within the scope of literary criticism. — Charleston News. PAPER, 25 CENTS. 23. TUnftet tbe Beoftarg - - By Rudyard Kipling We have read nothing of the kind so good since Mrs. Ewing's "Jackanapes," as the excellent story called "Only a Subaltern" with which it concludes. — London Athenceum. PAPER, 25 CENTS. 24. .flftertff, /lfterr£ JBoys - - By b. l. Farjeon Few living novelists can rival Mr. Farjeon in the construction of a plot. Pathos and humor hold the reader's attention by turns. — London Academy* PAPER, 25 CENTS, 25. XTbe Xiflbt ffbat jfatleD - By Rudyard Kipling This remarkable young writer, whose name is in every mouth has written a sustained novel mainly based on life in London. His laconic style of expression is equally as remarkable in detailing events of civilized life, as of those in India with which his name has heretofore been associated. PAPER, 25 CENTS. UNITED STATES BOOK COMPANY, PUBLISHERS, N. Y, KIPLING. The United States Bock Company have just published Kipling's new version cf THE LIGHT THAT FAILED. This new version contains some fifteen thousand ad- ditional words and the entire change cf the original denouement. It is a delightful story and shows the amazing versatility of this brilliant young literary star. Cloth, Gilt, uniform with "Departmental Ditties and Barrack Room Ballads," $1-25 ASAPH AN HISTORICAL NOVEL By ALICE KINGSBURY COOLEY There is no borrowing of style and sentiment, yet the work breathes the same atmosphere as ' Ben Hur.' The story is thrilling, instructive and artistic, giving evidence of careful study and painstaking composition. " Asaph " is a story of ancient Jerusalem, told in the straightforward English cf the nineteenth century portraying vividly the same emotions, loves, ambitions, superstitions and jealousies which hold sway to-day, and proving in a most entertaining manner that however the times and customs may change, humanity has been and will always be much the same. Cloth, Gilt, $1.00 UNITED STATES BOOK COMPANY SUCCESSORS TO JOHN W. LOVELL COMPANY I50 WORTH STREET, COR. MISSION PLACE P. O. Box, 1992. NEW YORK. BETTY. A Last Century Love Story BY ANNA VERNON DORSEY. There is a quaint, tender pathos about this story which breathes the atmosphere of our grandfathers and grandmothers. The characters are dressed in short-waisted gowns and square-cut coats, but the old, old story is told in a language of quaint, outspoken frankness which charms. It is not a story for the lover of highly sensational literature, but coun- trified little Betty, with her bad spelling and heart full of affection, is good material for an evening's interesting study. Miss Dorsey is a young Washington girl who gives great promise in the literary field. With the strength of strong conviction, she prefers to be true to her own idea of literary merit than to cater to the demands of a public which will pay for morbid sensation to-day but demands the opposite to- morrow. Cloth and Gold, $1.00; Paper, 50 Cents. A MODERN MARRIAGE BY THE MARQUISE CLARA LANZA AUTHOR OF " BASIL MORTON'S TRANSGRESSION," ETC., ETC. Edgar Fawcett says of this book : u I have read the book with very much pleasure. The author has chiselled her style into a Gallic severity, yet has left in it those lines and whorls of color which one sees in polished porphyry. This is a book as sad as fate itself — a relentless, uncompromising book. I should call it the history of an American Madame Bovary, though of course less detailed and elongated, yet often containing touches that forcibly remind the reader of Flaubert's masterly crispness. I congratulate the author most heartily on this last achievement, full of an art which he who runs may read, and which I can readily imagine that thousands are running in order to pro- cure the pleasure of reading." UNITED STATES BOOK COMPANY SUCCESSORS TO JOHN W. LOVELL COMPANY P. O. Box 1992. 142 to 150 Worth St., New York. BY WHOSE HAND? The newspapers of the country have been universally commendatory in reviewing this excellent story by EDITH SESSIONS TUPPER The author is a lady of refinement and culture, and while she lays aside her personal identity in the telling of her story, the atmosphere of the author's personality is suggested by the rhetorical finish and the daintiness of conception in constructing the plot. The story is just the right length for an evening's reading, and bound in the same volume is the Chicago Herald's Prize Story, BY A HAIR'S BREADTH By the same Author, EDITH SESSIONS TUPPER which in slightly different vein is equally attractive and is also of sufficient length to afford an evening's entertainment. American Authors' Series, Cloth, $1.00; paper, 50 cents. out of the night By H. W. FRENCH This novel is one which possesses a peculiar charm for artists, and, in LlCt, for all artistic temperaments. It is idealistic in tone and while it is realistic in its diction it has none of the realism which is known as such in current fiction. There is not a tiresome line in the entire book. The interest in the characters never flags, and the line of thought pursued is continually suggestive of speculative meditation on the part of the reader. Two artistic natures love in early youth, and are parted by circum- stances, one to make a career as a singer, the other as a painter. The early love with its effect upon the lives of the leading charac- ters forms the motive for the story, around which the minute details of the lives are woven with consummate skill. Cloth, gilt, $1.00; paper, 50 cents. American Authors' Series. UNITED STATES BOOK COMPANY SUCCESSORS TO . JOHN W. LOVELL COMPANY P. O. Box 1992. 142 to 150 Worth St., New York. IT HAPPENED THIS WAY By ROSE EYTINGE and S. ADA FISHER Cloth, $1.00. Paper, 50 cents. Full of incident and brightly told. — Press. The reader is taken from London to New York and from New York back to London, and one seems to be taking the voyage with the characters so naturally does it all occur. — Times. There is absolutely no determining what the denouement will be until the last chapter is reached. The situations are clever and the book is full'of surprises. — Argus. It is a work which no one can read and lay aside with the feeling that time has been wasted. Stage life is naturally and faithfully painted and the general trend of the story points to a higher ideal of the dramatic profession than that entertained by the average writer. — Journal. The little heroine, Daisy Dimple, is a conception to charm the most blase story reader.— Baltimore American. The novel has the merit of steadily holding the attention and presenting characters in a manner that possesses a resemblance to human nature. — Boston Gazette. A romance of love which is told in a highly entertaining style. — Milwaukee Sentinel^ The story is a very readable one, and possesses more than the usual number of pleasant people. — De?iver News. Her story may not make anybody wise cf mind, but it will make many lighter of heart. — A r . Y. Journal. A story of much dramatic power. — Home Journal. UNITED STATES BOOK COMPANY SUCCESSORS TO JOHN W. LOVELL COMPANY P. O. Box 1992. 142 to 150 Worth St., New York. ^Insist on having Pears' Soap. Substitutes are sometimes recommended by druggists and shop- keepers for the sole purpose of making more profit out of you. NS27 25 Cts. LOVELL'S WESTMINSTER SERIES Entered at the Post Office, New York, as second class matter \ THE FRUITS F ENLIGHTENMENT BY COUNT LYOF TOLSTOI vAuthori^ed Edition NEW YORK UNITED STATES BOOK COMPANY, SUCCESSORS TO JOHN W. LOVELL COMPANY 150 Worth St., cor. Mission Place annual subscription, $12.00. december 10, 1890. BY SPECIAL ARRANGEMENT WITH THE AUTHORS. LOVELL'S Westminster Series. 1. Her Last Throw. By " The Duchess" - 2. The Moment After. By Robert Buchanan 3. The Case of Gen'l Ople and Lady Camper. By George Meredith 4. The Story of the Gadsbys. By Rudyard Kipling . . - - 5. The Doctor's Secret. By Rita 6. The Tale of Chloe. By George Meredith 7. The Old Courtyard. By Katherine S. Macquoid 8. Frances Kane's Fortune. By L. T. Meade - 9. Passion the Plaything. By R Murray Gilchrist, 10. City and Suburban. By Florence Warden 11. A Romance of the Wire. By M. Betbam- Edwards - 12. The Havoc of a Smile. By L. B. Walford - 13. The Passion Play at Ober-Ammergau. By Canon Farrar - 14. A Black Business. By Hawley Smart 15. Missing — A Young Girl. By Florence Warden 16. Le Beau Sabreur. By Annie Thomas - 17. A Marriage at Sea. By H. Clark Russell 18. A Very Young Couple. By B. L. Farjeon - 19. He Went for a Soldier. By John Strange Winter - 25 20. A Bride from the Bush. By a new writer - 25 21. A Laggard in Love. By Jeanie Gwynne Bettany 25 22. Work While Ye Have the Light. By Count Lyof Tolstoi - - - - - - 25 23. Under the Deodars. By Rudyard Kipling - 25 24. Merry, Merry Boys. By B. L. Farjeon - . 25 2*5. The Light that Failed. By Rudyard Kipling 25 Any of the above sent postpaid, on receipt of price, by the publishers. UNITED STATES BOOK COMPANY, SUCCESSORS TO JOHN W. LOVELL COMPANY, 142 TO 150 WORTH STREET, NEW YORK. THE LIGHT THAT FAILED By EUDYARD KIPLING Original edition, 190 pages, paper cover, . $ .25 Revised and enlarged edition, 250 pages, cloth, gilt, 1.25 I think the careful revision and arrangement of a novel by its author after he has read it in print, and can therefore consider it more maturely than when preparing his manuscript for serial publication is a tribute to his art, and not at all a derogation from it. — Louise C. Moul- ton in Boston Herald, Apart from the question of its diverse endings, *' The Light That Failed" exhibits power, freshness, wonderful deecriptive talent and a rare stock cf knowledge concerning out-of-the-way matters and things. — A r . Y. Tri'une, Whether in the original or the expanded form the work is a notable one. It is a'.l fresh with nothing hackneyed about it. The characters are all original, und in the enlarged edition there are some descriptions which will not soon be forgotten. — Tacoma Globe. His force and originality have taken the world by storm. "The Light that Failed ' is this brilliant author's first novel. It is his com- prehension of the inner and outer life of men, and his ability to portray both, is the secret of Kipling's power. — Epoch. In " The Light that Failed " you have a great deal more than a padded short story. You have a carefully elaborated study cf two characters from childhood tD mature years. There are long gaps between the crises of every life which can be briefly chronicled because they represent monotonous work and endurance. They are the very warp of life: It is the woof which Kipling gives in his stories. — Droch in Life. His power of bringing a scene vividly before the reader in a few brief sentences, is something remarkable. — Denver Republican. The vigor, the glow, the habit of acute observation, the salient features of Kipling's prose, appear here in a marked degree. — Philadel- phia Ledger. The Chicago News says of the description of the fight in the Soudan in Kipling's novel, " The Light that Failed," that " Kipling is the only writer, living or dead, who could have written it." UNITED STATES BOOK COMPANY SUCCESSORS TO JOHN W. LOVELL COMPANY P. O. Box 1992. 142 to 150 Worth St., New York. COLGATES SOAPS & PERFUMES H^HIS PICTUKE, reproduced from a photograph, shows in the fore- 1 ground peasant women gathering Jasmine Flowers, and those in the background, on ladders, picking Orange Flowers. The odors of these two flowers are exceedingly rich and fragrant. They are used by the skillful perfumer most successfully in combination with other odors, and when so used impart a refinement and delicacy to the bouquet which would be impossible to attain without them. It is the liberal use of these odors, and the skillful manner in which they are combined, that has helped to secure for Colgate & Co. the fore- most place among perfumers, and has created a demand from all parts of the world for their soaps and perfumes,- the favorite of which is CASHMERE BOUQUET