CLARA BARTON DIARIES AND JOURNALS Jan. 1-13, 1866 (includes ledger accounts, May 1864 - May 1866)Ledger: May 24-June 30, 1864 Jan. 25 1865 Diary Jan 1-13, 1866. Jan '66 I need a servant I cook - poor [letter mias]- poor Cook - Tell me not in mournful numbers, Life is but an empty dream; For the soul is dead that slumbers, And things are not what they seem. Life is real, life is earnest! And the grave is not its goal; Dust thou art, to dust returnest, Was not spoken of the soul! Not enjoyment, and not sorrow, Is our destined end and way; But to act, that each to-morrow Find us further than to-day. Lives of true men all remind us We can make our lives sublime; And, departing, leave behind us Footprints on the sands of time; Footprints which perhaps another, Sailing o'er life's solemn main, A forlorn and shipwrecked brother Seeing shall take heart again. Let us, then, be up and doing, With a heart for any fate; Still achieving, still pursuing, Learn to labor and to wait. C. Tabor & Co., New Bedford, Mass.Alling P.A. Page 6 Ayers L. C. Rockshim " 21- Bordentown N.J. Page 3 Brockett L. B " 4 Baldwin Dudley " 7. Bigham, I.C. " 8 Addresses - 197Recipe Uncle Don for Enameling walls &c -- 8 ounces white glue to 1 gal of pure water. disolve and make boiling hot for sizing. -- Size the papered walls with a broad soft brush while the sizing is scalding hot. when dry, say 2 or 4 hours, go over again lightly -- when again thoroughly dry again dress over with good white furniture varnish For oil cloth - paper Get heavy felt paper past the edges of a piece which you desire to enamel to a board or floor. cover this with common wall paper as suits your taste well pasted -- when dry size & varnish as above - (if for a mat a boarder may be placed about it) when dry cut clear from the board or floor, and use like oil cloth Rev. O.L. Crittendon, Pella Iowa page 20 Dresser H.M.P. Page 14 Hurd A. B. - Page 17 Hammond T. W. " 19Johnson Lydia L. PageKaty C - Auburn. page. 11. Lee Col. Artemas - Page 12.F. C. Mack Page 5 Masonic Circulars - 205 Morton Mary. - 9.- Newton John C. 25.U.S. Patent Office 201 Price T.L. page 15 Runyon E. U. page 16 Roberts E.L. Mrs. " 22Mrs. I.D. Stout Page 13 Edward Shaw " 203 I.H. Tibbets - 10Willis H. A. Page - 18. Wellington Worchester Page - 24.Bordentown, N.J. 1864 May 24 By 3 Boxes Stores No 1 $ Hon. I. O. Norton - 510 H Bet 7 & 8thL. B. Brockett 1864 May 25 By Cash $5.00 1864 F.C. Mack May 25 By Cash Nr 3 $22.50P. A. Alling 1864 May 25 By Cash No 4 $147.09 Dudley Baldwin 1864 May 26 By Check No 5 $50.00 Oct " Cash del. Mr. Ferguson 20.00 Feb/65 10 " " " " 10.001864 J. B. Bigham May 28. By Cash no b 3. 00 1864 Mary Morton Hightstown NJ. June 1 By Cash no 7 60 00 Mon 15/[66] Paid Donn salary to March 15- 100 -- March 24 " Paulson - 70 + 5+ 25 up to April 13th [66] - in advance 95. Mar 27 Envelopes 3.65- Apr. 19 paid Donn salary to Apr. 15th (would only accept 50.) 100 Apr 16 paid Paulsen salary in part to enable him to move, in advance 60, paid 2,00 two dolls to Apr 25 womens hospital 2,00 1864 I H Tibbets Lancaster Ind May 30 By Cash No. 8 $11.00 June 13 " " 19.00 _______________________________________ May 1st Paid M Paulson for extra time from Apr 5th to May 1 working over hours 108, hrs 40.50 4 paid for chronicle 1.20 ? ?????? 5 10 Fanny 11.31 for dress making 2.00 materials 6.31, and table 3. 11.31 15 paid M Paulson his Bill of ? 108 dolls lacking ?? which had been paid in advance, Bill ?? up to May 12 48. 1 1864 Katy C & Mrs Lawrence - Auburn NY. June 2 By Cash No. 9 2.50 _____________________________________________________ 1866 May 15 Bot. carpet 41 yds at 1.68 Burrells -delivered 68.47 " 15 Paid Gas Bill for Apr- 6,15 " 15 Draft for rent to Mr. Show for the months of Apr & May 80.00 " 15 paid for lumber to reopen? middle room partition 3.00 carpenter 2.00 17 paid for ???ogoneres for partitioning my room-- 12.50 17 Lent Mr. Brown 2 fifty-dollar Bonds to be returned in kind 7/g on the 25th of June__________ 103.--12 1864 Col. Artemas Lee Templeton June 3 By b Boxes- E Barrels No 9 ________________________________________ 1866 May 17 Paid ???? salary from March 15 to May 15 ???? 150.00 (deduct 55.30) 19 Paid M Baxter for labor and materials for partitioning my two rooms 5-5-16.75 26.75 worked at 2.25 per day up to sat night 23 Paid M. Baxter for labor & lumber nails & hinges?? 6.25 Paid for pulleys for clothes line 1.50 May 22 Engaged Mr. Liblies cellar at three dolls per month commenced May 22/66 1864 Mrs. L. D. Stoner-Wadkins 13 June 1 By b Boxes - E Barrels No. 11 May 25 Settled with and discharged Mr. Paulson paid him 20.16 drew 2.00 dolls from Bank 26 Bot 1 Box large envelopes 4.50 1 dollar to Mrs. Hunt- gift 1.00 21 1 dollar to Mrs. Paulson gift 1.00 31 Paid Edward for carrying rolls to Post Office 2.00 June J1 Paid Rosa for May 8.00 Gas bill for May 3.68 Gift Store .75 [*14*] 1864 H. M. P. Dresser East Otto Cattaraugus Co NY June 2 By Cash No. 12 12.00 " 20 " " 23 15.00 Large envelopes from N.H. 95.00 Paper for parlor 21 rolls- also 6 rolls for office & border 12.45 remmenet of carpeting like my parlor 7 yds. a 1.60 11.20 Book & paper rack for writing table made to order by Mr. Baxter in May 17.00 6 Vira left - gave her a 50 dol Bond 50. a little present of scent jar .50 9 Small envelopes 3.00 cambric for fair 1.00 1864 T. L. Price [*65*] June 3 By Cash No. 13 12.00 June 14 paid National Freemasen to present date 2.00 " Bot black cambric for ( 8 yds) fair & tacks 2.20 Bot. picture frames 10.00 June Paid Dorr. 2.00 [Dorr] Bot photographs 5.00 " " self 6.00 June 22 Dorr 5.00E. U. Runyon 1864 June 2 By Box of supplies No 1864 A.B. Hurd June 10 By Box bbl no 15-[*18*] 1864 H. A. Willis mo/ June 10 By check - 1b. 25,00 __________________________________ June 30 Let Dorr have money to go to Annapolis (20.00 Did not go and took it back. (20.00 Bot paper for wardrobe 2.00 July 3 Let Dorr have 30.00 6 Let Dorr have 10.00 9 Dorr for telegraph 1.00 9 reply to telegram, Dorr, 1.80 12 paid over to Brady 33 dolls fair money he still claims 10 dolls which we cannot account in the sums 12 Let Mr Sheldon have fourteen doll to go home with, this added to, 5,dolls 1864 T. W. Hammond. 19 Mo/ $ June 11 By Cash- 18 50.00 Jany/65 [24] 24 " " 93 50 _________________________________________________________ which he had when he went to Annapolis makes the sum to 20,0. 20.00 13 Mr Sheldon left this money for New Ha[?] Genl. Butler arr in town yesterday papers called for from the Sect of war. 14 Paid Edward for folding Rolls 4.00 and carrying to Post Office " " Picture from Dorr 1.00 " Bot: 2 writing Desks of Wilsen, as pr Bill - 1 Black walnut 70. 1 mahogany for the office 21. 91.-- " Bot materials for pictures over20 Rev. O. L. Crittenden, Pella Iowa 1864 No/ June 15 By check. 19 10.00 ______________________________________ July 14/ mats glass binding &c cord 5.00 66 17 Bot Pecay cloth for sack. &c. 4.00 17 Settled with Dorence Atwater up to July 15 - from May 15 - his salary amounts to 200. - 200.00 previously paid him, 60.86/100 dolls. Board bill for 2 months (a 33) 66 dolls- 60,80 + 66 = 126.80 = 200, = 73.20 = 73.20 This balances my acct with D, A. up to the 15th of July- 1866. - July 20 Left Washington for NE, - Dorr Jules & myself - In New Haren let Dorr have twenty dolls 20.00 21 Mrs J. C. Ayers, Rock-stream, Yates Co N. Y. 1864 No/ June 13. By- butter, Eggs - supplies - 20. _____________________________________________________ July In Oxford let Dorr have five dolls 5.00 Aug 13 Gave receipt to Eugene Atwater for 70,. due for Old paper rent to him to dispose of in N, H, - it amounted to 1,09 - 39. charged for storage & express - The 70, remaining I make over to Dorr, as salary - he repaying the same to Eugene - 70,00 R. R. fare paid for Dorr 12 90. During our trip on from Washingtn $ 107,90 This settles with Dorr up to Aug 15th 100.00 and over pays him 7.90 cts 7,9022 1864 Mr. E. L. Roberts - Buffalo - N.Y. June 18 By Cash No 21 5.00 Aug 14 Spent on trip to Newport & returned Aug 17 15.00 Gave Jules when he left 10.00 Aug Sold 4 fifty doll Bonds 202.00 Sept 5 Let Dorr have 5.00 Sept 5 - Enclosed draft to M Shaw for rent of rooms for the months of June July and August - 3 mos a 40. per mo, 120 Dorr bot the Draft at Worcester 1864 Lydia L. Johnson Lyndonville Orleans Co N.Y. 23 June 11 By. goods. No 22.24 1866 J. W Wellington [ ] June 20 By cash ' 50 00 25 1861. John L. Newton. [ ] By cash 5, 00 Jan/65 25 " " per- Arnie [??ilds] 5, 00 Washington DC Jany. 1st 1866 Monday I have just closed one of the hardest and most trying years of my life. Not that it has been the most useless, or will amount to the least in the end, but has been hard to live. -- I have attempted to carry on a great work with inadequate means. I have required counsel & friends, as well as money to accomplish my purposes. My friends although well meaning in the main have been powerless, this I suspect I have sometimes construed into ineficiency or possibly indifference, which made me very miserable. I must, and indeed have as soon as detected in myself, cast all such reflections aside, and studied to be grateful for what was done to aid me, striving to forget what was not. In only one instance have I met malignity or intentional injury. this although I can forgive, I cannot forget and perhaps it is not desirable or advisable that I should as my enemy is still abroad, and I have28 Washington DC. Jany 1st 1866 Monday him to avoid, and guard against = I allude to the assumed leader of the Expedition to Andersonville. I shall not attempt to oppose him more, but unless I have made a very erroneous estimate of his motives, and the nature of the acts he has perpetrated, I believe he has yet some difficulties to meet and overcome which will try both his manhood and strength -- I leave him with his God -) These have been my vexations during the past year - but my afflictions have been of a far different character. Within these 12 months I have parted with the two who perhaps in the old time has twined the most deeply about my heart, who had traits of character more in common with myself than any others, where love for me was a mine of wealth, and around whose dear memory the tenderest fibers of my heart still cling and crushed & torn, and buried still ache & Washington DC. Jan 1st 1866 29 Monday bleed. Poor dear old Brother Ste. on the 10th of March, and Bably Quins on the 9th of April, I cannot always feel that they are quite gone - and sometimes they both seem very near me. I have never felt the partition so thin between the two worlds as since they left us and I knew they had gone to the other side, - it has grown to be only a veil, a gauze, and I can almost feel them through it. I have I fear grown a little sad and discouraged, and until today I have a for a long time been quite disheartened, but with the commencement of the New year, I have commenced a new life. determined to follow closely my own purposes, strive to accomplish something for myself; accordingly I have closed my doors upon all, and sat down to write some lectures for reading in public, if I should be so far fortunate as to make me ready and be tolerably well received by the public, I went out with my little faithful friend30 Washington Jany 1st 1866 Monday Jules to find some work in the Rebellion. Abbots is not in vain, and the right volumes of the Rebellion record at 5,00 apiece places it beyond my reach for the present - so I returned and sat down to a retrospect of my own personal diary unaided by history. My usual letters were recd and answered, but so careful was I, that I avoided my gas, and retired at eight oclock, a thing I have never been know to do in ordinary health. I slept well until 2 next mng and awoke with the idea in my head to ask Congress to publish Atwaters roll, together with a report from me both of which we would present to them - I do not know as the thing is predicated less - I shall present the matter to Mr W. for his reflection on his return. If they would consent it would be by far the best disposed [(he could) possibly make of it.) 31 Washington Jany. 2nd. 1866 Tuesday I was up very early, cared for much as all of my domestic affairs before 5-ells- and sat down to write - Commenced with a short story of poor Ste in front of Richmond - next - I took up Fairfax Station and have written 6 or 7 pages, & I have committed only Kate for my washing. Mr Shaw and Jules who came at 4 to learn my needs, Mr Shaw invited me in to partake of his home dessert of puuite of his own raising in Mass. and kept here until New years, his table was spread neatly, and apples, pears, pop corn, jelly of his own make, cake of his mother 2 years old and a delicious watermelon kept in his hay mow, in Attleburgh, we ate long and enjoyed it - The carrier brought me a letter from Fanny Atwater, & one from Mr Sheldon, who is enabling Mr. Gay of the silent decision. Our house is completed and32 Washington Jany 2nd 1866 Tuesday the water is running. the keys have been handed over to me, and I am much more completely situated than in heretofore. It must be nearly time for the Senate to meet again, but the House will not be in full session until the 8th & 9th - at which time I shall expect cousin Robert and possibly Mrs. Gage. I must make all the progress I possibly can with my lectures before this. as I can probably never write as well as I am doing just-now all alone. I began to think I might like the life of a writer. and it yet remains to be seen if I can assume it - I began late it is true if at all but it may be the true course for me after all. If I were only sure that I could read my lectures) Washington DC. Jan 31st 33 Wednesday This has been another good happy quiet day. I have written a detailed account of my experience at Fairfax Station during the battle of 2nd Bull Run. it being the subject of my lecture to the 3rd day of our stay at that point, and included the story of poor Hugh Johnson. I have recd no callers but Mr. Brown. and Jules to the latter of whm I have read my production thus far. he being the only person living who knows I am writing it. He seems pleased with it and encourages me to proceed. I hope I shall never find it necessary to bestow so much of my time again on persons who are of no use to me and to whom I am of no use myself except to help them pass their idle moments.34 Washington. Jan. 4th 1866 Thursday Jules came early and brought me some apples and very sweet butter. I have written an hour. I dressed arranged my room and Dr Sidney came. he is engaged at the Eastern Shore re for the Freedmen's Bureau and wants a commission from Genl Howard as Asst Commissioner of the State of Miss He desired a letter to some persons of influence to gain some from them & Genl Howard. He would like Sen Butler & Sen Wilson . I wrote both for him as he returned at eveng Sent to M Parker for varnish & brush to varnish my oilcloths. Jules brought them and I have made very general use of them even to upsetting the bucket upon my [pretty?] a brussels carpet would have sharred the same fate. Washington Jan 5th 1866 35 Friday Cold day. ground frozen solid - from being up so late last night; I missed my good early sleep that I have resolved to get. and slept late. and lost my hours of clear memory thought and vigor. and have written less all day. Could not accomplish what I would have desired, but have reached my 24th page of original manuscript. I am no judge of its fitness. but must in some manner accomplish my purpose and lecture. I must do it. Did not see Dr. Sidney. Am almost regretting that I did not take the new part of our building I don't know the expense. but it would be such a relief from this eternal vigilence committee of one that must oppresses me like a nightmare). I believe I am never to feel one and twenty as long as I live; I have not outgrown my childhood restraints yet so far that I could bring myself to feel36 Washington DC. Jany 5 1866 Friday that it would answer for me to cut a whole pie if it was only for myself, or in other words I have never felt myself to be of as much consequence as a whole pie. I might slip out a piece of some other person had cut it first. and here on my own floor I am every day made to feel afraid to open and shut doors. or step heavily. or shake the coal door in my stove only at certain times. or get water or have coal brought up. or have a man come into the hall to bring me a pint of milk each day. so as all for this species of little petty crying that is exercised on me. well well I am a fool & I realized it more forceably than any of my friends appear to. I still think I might have Washington DC. Jany 5th 1866. 37 Friday made myself very free and com- -fortable on the other side. but am not certain. but my Keeper would in that event have become my foe. I found me very tired and sleepy at 8 o clock and decided to retire in just five minutes. and had taken down my hair and arranged my couch. When a big rap came upon my door. then another and I mistrusted it for Mr Wright & Mr Fergusen. - they turned away in the darkness. for among other comforts we have the gas shut off in the hall but I followed out and called them back. and learned that Mr. Greely is in town. and that he proposes to undertake the publishing of Dovv's record in pamphlet form. with just price enough to pay for the paper & work - 38 Washington Jun 5th 1866. Friday It is not certain that I can see Mr. Greely tomorrow, as he is so busy. he may be gotten in here, if not - I think I will invite him, myself, as Mr Wright will leave immediately for his family to bring them here. He will stop in N.Y. and see Mr. Greely there. but I must arrange the matter myself and engage to write a report of Andersonville and publish along with the record - M Greely is at work upon the record volume of his "Conflict" and Mr. Wright proposes to him to make a chapter of this matter of Andersonville. It may be that this is what will yet be done. I think I must see Mr Greely, even if I write & follow to N.Y. - Congress met today. 39 Sat. Washington Jany 6th 1866 This is Saturday night and I am up late answering the last of my letters & clearing up the weeks work. I have had rather a broken day. Vesta came this morning to tell me that Sally had got home. is better. but I could not go to see her. as it was not quite certain but Mr Greeley would call. although I did not expect him - this kept my door rather open. and a few leisure people slipped in. I wonder how people get so much leisure time. they must be smart and i am so slow it takes me all the time to do my work - I am up to the Battle ground of Antietam with my narrative - ought to have made a little greater progress today but have lost time and I write slowly. am not an adept. wish my pen flow like some peoples I have seen -40 Sat Washington. Jany. 6th 1866 I reced a letter from Mr Sheldon saying that he supposed the Tribune declined Dorr's roll. I have replied just now telling him how matters stand with Mr. Greely and suggesting to him the insertion of my own report. I have also writtn Dorr but did not tell him of this as he will see Mr. Sheldon of course. It is near time for the Judge to return and Mrs. Gage is almost due, and Sam comes tomorrow morning - when is my narative to be completed: I shall gain nothing tomorrow morning I am up so late tonight. Dr. Sidney has his papers signed by General Howard, has gone to Phila to transact some business with Judge Duel. And will probably go to Mississippi soon. I have just written his wife at Eastville Northampton Co. Va. that being his station at present. I hope to see Sally tomorrow. 41 Washington Jany 7th, 1866 Sunday Midnight 'Tis sweet at midnight by the soothing fire When all the world is locked in silence deep. To bid imaginations wings aspire To Edens beauteous as the dreams of sleep. While viewed at distance breaking on our fear, The idols of the past-arise again The eye of mind embodies the once dear In shapes of fairer mould & free from pain. They come, they come; and their fond looks of yore Again to fancy seek to sooth our grief. We feel their presence--feel at our hearts core And woo deceit less palpable than brief We fain would speak but hear no answering tone We start and weep to find ourselves alone. Written by poor brother Stephen during his solitary hours in North Carolina during the days of the Rebellion.-)42 Washington, Jan 7th 1866 Sunday Before out of my bed this morning I heard Mrs. Shaw greeting Sam in the passage. Mr. Libby called from his room for him to "come in and go to bed," and I from mine to him to accept some of their invitations for I could not admit him just yet. He went in with M. Shaw and I dressed and went for him. He had just returned from N.C. via Norfolk, Petersburg, and Richmond, finds very little property and thinks. Mr. Ridicks is not inclined to enrich him unnecessarily to say the least, but has given him excellent letters in reference to Stephens loyalty and amount of loss sustained from the Federal forces. Also letters from Mr. Spiers corroborative of Mr. Ridicks and Col. Griffins. He has letters from Col. Lewis who commanded the raid or expedition which destroyed the property and Capt. Dern the Washington Jany 7 1866. [*43*] Sunday detailed officer who immediately performed the deed. both admit the fact and say it was done to signal gunboats down the river. The Confederates consider it wanton destruction. I have sent a copy of Col Griffins letter to Dorrence Atwater to have him make still another copy which I will forward to Col Griffin for his signature and to be sworn to. If it is thought then upon advice that the case has a sufficient show he will institute a claim against the Govt. for damages to the amount of $60,000 or something like that amount. Among Pon Ste's papers he found the original copy of the little poem which he wrote during his lonely hours in N.C. and recited to me at the front of Richmond last winter, and which I copied and was lost with my things which were all lost in the advance upon Richmond by the earlesmen of Dr. RichardsonWashington Jan 7 1866 Sunday I was rejoiced to obtain this copy, it being the only line of poetry I ever knew him to compose and it was so expressive of his desolate state of mind and so well done. I have copied it on the 41 page of this book. Title "Midnight" Sam and I took breakfast at Mrs. Streeters came back and spent a portion of the day. I read him a portion of my lecture. He went to Mrs. Walls. dined and took Jules home with him and we went to Mrs. Vassels Sally was popping corn and seems some better. Still thin and weak. Cannot do much. Remained till near seven, walked home very cold. Jules had gone home to his bed previously but came to spend the evening & M. Ferguson came to bring my paper which M. Wright had and to say that they both failed Washington Jany 7/66 Sunday to obtain an audience with Secty Harlan or M. Thacker it being Saturday & the rooms full. That Mr. Wright on his return will attempt to accomplish it. I hope I may not need it but don't know. There is very little of what the world denominates "luck" for me. M. Ferguson will write to Mr. Wright to telegraph me when he will be in NY that I may meet him and see Mr. Greely with him if agreeable. This will probably be the last of the week. I almost think I have best go on myself sooner, but Mrs. Gage coming will hold me a little. I do feel it to be so very important that Mr. Greely should carry out the excellent plan he drew - and I should be so glad of the opportunity of writing my report and rendering it out to the public and it must be done.Washington Jan 8th 1866 Monday This day has been astonishingly cold. My windows were completely frosted when I got up, a thing I have seldom known. I could not accept Sam's invitation to take breakfast out with him, but arranged some for us both and ate at home, and indeed I thought it far preferable to yesterday morning only that I could ill afford the time. There have been two lost days and I could not make them tell in any direction unless I may count on a letter which I have written Mr. Greeley. I drafted it last evening and today have copied it to send to M. Greely and against preserve and have entered this copy to Dorr for perusal. We had the felicity this morning of finding our new water pipe burst at intervals all the way from the top to the bottom of the house. No water of course. How long this persecution will continue I cannot judge and tonight when I attempted to light the gas that was in the same condition. Washington January 9th 1866 Tuesday Slept a little too late for comfort as Sam was to take the train for Baltimore and home at 8. It was 7 when I woke having sat up late but Sam had arranged oysters. I had a stew ready at 7 1/2 and we breakfasted and he left in time. I swept my house. My coal came and an old uncle put it away for me. brought me water emptied ashes. I wiped and cleared up generally, indeed most of the day was spent at manual labor and thinking how I should manage to get my servant back again. Jules came home at 4 and was so delighted with the happy anticipation that I would go to Switzerland with him that he forgot his dinner until almost dark. We found no gas, he went hastily to dine and bring me my lamp and while gone, a rap at the door called me and there in the dusk of the evening stood Mrs. Gage. She was just on time and I was rejoiced to meet her again. Oh if I could only make her more comfortable. She is looking quite as well as when I parted with her at Port Royal Jan 8-66 "2 lost days"48 Washington January 9, 1866 Tuesday I hastened to put a fire in the little parlor and while there once Jules had gone for bread. Cousin Robert came, next Mr. Rolland and I was disturbed about Mrs. Gages supper. Still I did not care so much. Cousin R. did not remain. Mrs. G and I took tea & talked of Mrs. Gage's lectures. I did not broach my subject tonight and Mrs. G. has retired and is asleep and it is time I had. Tomorrow I must lay my plan before her and commence my work and I have arranged for my breakfast a little and shall have to become quite domestic. I must have these lecture completed this month and commence to read them. 49 Washington DC, January 10th 1866 Wednesday This day has really counted nothing so far as forwarding my works are concerned but what a day of conversation I have had and what an easy conversationalist Mrs Gage is. - I never converse with her but I feel more and more impressed with the superior quality of mind which she possesses. Her intellect is so deep and clear and her sympathies so quick. She read me today her "Coming home" it is one of the finest things which has been written during the war. a perfect little gem. It is indeed wonderful that her boys should all have lived. How much I need a good faithful active servant. it is too bad, but I don't know as I have any redress. I must wait the turn of the tide which will carry me out to sea or bring the sea in to me. I have cooked two meals - upon little meals. poor cook I! for a wonder no one called but Capt. Davis I should have more interest there but for recollects of Annapolis.Washington Jan 11, 1866 Thursday Mrs. Gage desired to go to congress and I invited Mr. Brown to accompany us. We met Miss Haskell. miss Gage called on Hon. Mr. Lawrence ofc when Mr. Garfield was not in nor M. Ashley Trent for M Baldwin and he was not in his seat. I remained a little while and excused myself to come home to get dinner and be ready for Mrs. Gage when she should come home tired. I cannot see that matters more much and it is true I feel a little discouraged. At evening cousin Robert called and I asked him into the little parlor. As Mr. Ferguson was spending the evening with Mrs. Gage. and Senator Wilson called. I would not arrange my company to suit me and he left very soon. I was annoyed. Washington Jan 12, 1866 Friday Breakfast as usual. All takes time. Mrs. Gage went to call on Dr. Breed. People who are connected with the Freedmen's offices and went to the Presidents to see the ladies present a petition for the non pardon of a Mr. Cox whose estate they occupy on a colored orphans home. Miss [Cornelea] Hancock returned with her. one of the party who constituted our famous night ride in front of Petersberg a year 1/2 ago when our hicks all escaped as by miracles. Miss. H goes to Port Royal to teach. I received a letter from Mr. Greely to the effect that he would like to see me that his hours are from 4 to 5 except Sunday then from 1 to 5 an that he will print whatever Mr. Atwater and I think best with the record. This is the most cheering new I have met. this seems like the start. Oh if I could know that this record and report would all com out right. I must go to New York. 52 Washington Jan. 13 1866 Saturday I decide to go to N York this evening and find a great deal to do to get ready After a long talk with Mrs. Gage last night she was this morning quite out of spirits, but finally came to an issue and desired my permission to write something in reference to me for the Independent and Atlantic Monthly. I consented and she at once recovered her cheerfulness and commenced. I went to market for charcoal as our fires went down & no kindling. I found none but went to the wood yard and bought wood, rekindled my fires. Mr. Thompson called in the morning. Visited Mrs. Gage and M. Laurence called in the evening. 4 o clock. I just as I was getting ready M. Procter came in. I at once moved the subject of his journey to NJ - he was going and I could go on with him at 6½. I was so happy for this perfectly free. got ready. I was 53 off at 6. Mr. Brown and Jules went to depot. Mrs. Gage is to keep house. Met the Capt. and Mr. Upton of California went on to the train. had a sleeping car. a most comfortable arrangement not the surest method of sleeping to me but I lay most comfortable and happy all night. Had an argument with Mr. Upton upon slavery & the war. "Northern abolitionist" and southern men "Fire eaters" We arrived at NY a little past 6 went to Howard Hotel, where I had telegrapher at 4 pm, Atwater to meet me with his roll, [(at 4 pm)] in the morning, his name was on the book, and at 8 o'clock he met me in the parlor, looking pale & sober. no laugh, no jest, but sad, serious & thoughtful.) He was not well and indeed he never expects to be again. His three or two months at Auburn were upon him more than all of Belle Isle & Andersonville.126 Cash_ recd May 25 To Cash $174.59 " 26 " Check 50.00 " 28 " Cash 3.00 June 1 " " 60.00 " " " " 11.00 " 2 " " 2.50 127 Cash pd out 1864 May 25 By Expenses " 27. " " pd Shaver 22.00 " "Addresses of friends Miss Carrie Matthews care of Lloyd Vandevere Beverly New Jersey Miss Lizzie Hatch 514 12 st. Washington D.C.1864 U.S. Patent Office May 30 By Cash Rec'd $24.90 Jan 21/65 " " as follows up to Dec 30th for July 17.50, Aug. 22.40, Sept. 30.41 Oct. 25, Nov. 25.28, Dec. 30.98 -- 102.57 Feby 28 Jany 31.10 Feby. 30.08 61.181865 Edward Shaw Sr. Jany 27 For cash paid for room rent from Apr. 1864 to Feb 1865 9 mo @7$ $65.00204 1865 Masonic Circulars sent 205 No May 16 21 District Columbia 21 " 268 Illinois _ -. 101 - 369. 41 Mariland 41 Michigan 143 New York = 70 - bb. .94:38 Maine Mr Blake to the office to direct 112 Kentucky 159.80 New York City Delaware 16 Connecticut 72 Kansas 38 Oregon 23 Minnesota 58 New Hampshire 52 New Jersey 64 Teritory of Washington 10 Rhode Island 22 Nebraska 9 Pennsylvania 146 Iowa 58Rx Subnitrate of Bismuth zi Powdered [] zii Bicorbonate of soda zii Sig. A teaspoonful in water after meals 10-22-66 Recipe of Mm. Ramsey Aromatic Spirits of Amonia 1 table spoonful dose for counteracting acids or grease in the stomach Muriate of amonia -- for hacking or horseness of the throat -- Made into candy -- two grains to a common sized lozenge -- and harmful in larger doses -- except slightly cathartic -- For Blue Pills -- [] & Blue massNos. of Bonds [departed] with Fouler Rettenhouse & C. Markingham April 4th 1866 $5000 June 15 1865 No. 1917 A $5000 June 15 1865 No. 1918 A $1000 June 15 1865 No. 3428 D $1000 June 15 1865 No. 3429 A $500 June 15 1865 No. 14293 A $500 Aug. 15 1865 No. 96908B $100 Aug. 15 1865 No. 28996 C $100 Aug. 15 1865 No. 146822B $100 Aug. 15 1865 No. 536293C $50 Aug. 15 1865 No. 137482C $50 Aug. 15 1865 No. 64657A $50 Aug. 15 1865 No. 610739C $50 Aug. 15 1865 No. 72841A $50 Aug. 15 1865 No. 284394B $50 Aug. 15 1865 No. 633588D $50 Aug. 15 1865 No. 71325C $50 Aug. 15 1865 No. 117669C 13,700