Blackwell Family
Alice Stone Blackwell


General Correspondence


Undated 
Putnam, Eliza ODear Alice;

I have a flood of chatter
to pour forth, but writing is an
effort and will fortunately condense
my effusions.
How could I shock you ears 
with tales of wicked dreamers if
I but had the chance; tales of 
G.A.R. fairs where the throngs were
so great away the excitement over
the raffling of prizes rose so high
that a police force was summoned
in haste and could not get inside
the door; tales of strikers in the
shops who waylay the men that
take their places and  beat and
kick them by the pale light of the
dim and distant street lamp -
tales of the first prize economical
woman who cuts [up] out little
circles of  oilcloth - [for] to put beneath each leg
of each chair, and allows no shoeswarm in her rooms, ah me,
there's no place like a small
town for knowing your neighbor's
business.
Tomorrow night we are to have
a school suffrage meeting,
Miss Eastman to speak.
I heard a prophesy on Saturday
last that we couldn't get an
audience of twenty five. Thereupon
I started out to call upon
my neighbors and exact promises
of attendance. I think I have
waited upon almost every body
with whom I have bowing acquaintance.
On Saturday I met with little
success, the women looked supercilious
and remarked that they took
no interest in such matters, or else
they informed me that they had
perfect confidence in their husbands.
At first I was depressed and
tho't there was little to be done
in a town where the very school
children tried each other with
the question "Aren't you ashamed
to think your mother voted";
by and by I got mad and
then it became fun.

After that I made a point of
going to the most conservative people
I knew and stirring them up, so
to speak. It was a truly enjoyable
day. This afternoon nobody refused
me, and I begin to hope for
a good house.
While I was on my mission, I
displayed my journals, and as first
fruits enclose a dollar for two fifty
cent subscriptions for three months,
addresses, Mrs. S. J. Locke, Danvers,
and Mrs. F. A. Couch, Danvers.
There are two or three more
waverers whom I expect to rake
in as Mrs. Jackson used to say.
I send the money to you, out of
pure laziness, it is such an
effort to get up another epistle
to Park St. Please forgive me
I shall grow energetic in time.
I am reading Morris's "Earthly
Paradise," Did you ever notice
how fond he is of gray eyes and
yellow hair? There couldnt be
more pernicious literature afloat
if it affected everybody as itdoes me. I feel as if I had
[op??] eating or something of
the sort. There are fine
sausages but it isn't wholesome.
Bertie writes cheerful letters,
but they are few and far between.
With the nearest post office 75
miles off, letters cant be forwarded
often. There, callers are
coming in so good by, give my
love to your mother, please.

Very affectionately,
E. P.Dear Alice;
I am sorry for your
woes, but hope most of them
are happily over passed ere now.
The idea of any body's being 
scandalized by your dreaming
of Prof. B's patting your head
reminds me, somewhat wickedly,
of a story told by a loquacious
invalid in the next room to [us]
us here. This good lady fell 
and broke her arm some
two years ago. The family
physician was summoned, but 
could do nothing for her, because,
as she says, "Why I should have
died outright with shame to
have a man touch my arm,of course it was out of the
question. So then the poor arm
had to take care of itself, and 
is of little use to the present day
for my part I should rejoice
with exceeding great joy to
dream of Prof. B.'s patting my hand,
or enjoy the reality of it, and 
wouldn't let any body disturb 
my complacence in in it either.
I am sorry to hear about
cousin Kitty's lung. Take good
care of her, but don't be troubled
too soon, dear,
The world uses me about as 
usual. Each week is harder
than the last because I am
growing more and more tired,
and for another reason too.
I am not sure whether I have
told you or not of Mr. J's vexation

at one of his teachers engaging
herself to Mr. Fiske, agent for
Ginn & Heath. He didn't wish to
lose her, and the school rang
with his complaints for days.
He wasn't exactly delicate in all
his speeches, and I resolved
then that he shouldn't know of
my engagement, if I could help
it, it being none of his especial
business. He growled about
poor Miss Steele well, and informed
whoever chose to listen that
"Miss Putnam at least would
never be guilty of any such
sentimental nonsense." It so
happened that one of the teachers
knew that I had been engaged at
least from friends in Canton, and
she told the rest of course, and
they enjoyed the joke greatly.I meanwhile was somewhat
uncomfortable at being exalted
as a paragon of sense [?] and
hardly knew what to do when
a week or so ago the bolt fell.
Somebody gave Mr. J. a hint, he 
thereupon questioned every body in
the building, and getting nothing
but looks of mystery and half 
confessions, finally  walked up to 
me one morning and requested
to be informed if I were "under
mortgage to any young man."
Of course I told him, and my
life hasn't been particularly comfortable
since. His voice is not
at low one, and so within five
minutes of my answer I had
the pleasure of hearing him
criticize the matter with some
teachers [of] on the floor below. 
On Friday at teachers meeting


I made a most innocent
remark about the advantage
of keeping a boy after school
occasionally so as to explain 
any difficult point to him alone.
That gave Mr. J. his opportunity, and 
he delivered quite a diatribe against
young women who "like to get young
men alone." I am afraid I
looked like a thunder cloud, at any
rate he stopped in the middle
and apologized. Its a distasteful
business. I felt myself in a false position
to a certain extent, and should have
told him long before if I had
not foreseen just what has since
happened an incessant shower of 
attempts at jokes not of the nicestwhen he felt good natured, and sarcastic
speeches when he was cross.
Mr. J.'s a conscientious man after his
fashion, but he is hard to get along 
with. I find it so at least, but, alas,
I have always suspecting myself of
disliking vulgarity far more than decent
wickedness. Well that's enough of that.
Here is [a] an item for your temperance
work. On Chestnut St. Phila, a
prominent millinery store displays
this placard: "A small bottle
of wine given to customers only".
Isn't this a nice city, and isn't that
a grand substitute for a [?chromo]?
I am reading Carlyle's "French
Revolution." I enjoy it much in
the same way that I do the
"Light of Asia." That is it makes my
blood boil, and my face flush, and
my hands clench, and gives me a


thorough stirring up.
Mother and I spent yesterday doing
some Christmas shopping for Bertie,
and among other things tried the
hazardous experiment of sending him
a lot of candy, suppose it will
in a fine state of smash before he gets it. 
He writes that he attended a Mormon
revival meeting a few weeks ago
and was introduced to Pres. Taylor,
whom he describes as a hale old man
of 70 with snow white hair and beard.
The exhortations he says were
mostly to temperance and faith
much like those heard at home
save for some astonishing "yarns"
as to the wonders worked by
faith. This was one story told
for sober fact. A little boy's
mother was dying; the child climbed
upon the bed, put his hands onher face, and prayed that
she might get up and get
him some supper, which she
instantly did.
Here is another. Some little boys
assembled one Saturday afternoon
to hold a class meeting, and tell
their experiences, instead of wasting
the hours in play. Presently one
little fellow of eight began to speak
"in tongues", as they call it, which
is really rattling off a lot of nonsense
without connection or meaning.
Then another youngster jumped
up and said "I know what Willie
said, and there upon began to
translate such a beautiful revelation
from God.  Bertie said that
the assemblage in general would
not compare favorably in point
of good looks and intelligence with
[a] an average lot of street laborers

East. One of the men under
Bertie's direction is a son of
John D. Lee, big and portly, 6'6"
high, weighing 250 pounds, and
strong as an ox. The men
say he looks just like his father.
I hate to have Bertie in such
a place. The head engineer
is drunk his thirds of the time,
and so nearly all the responsibility
comes on Bertie. The Mormon
workmen are lazy and hard
to manage at the best and
seeing the head of the party in
such a state makes them worse.
It is a hard place for such
a boy, in the wilderness with
a drunken chief, and all thoseinsubordinate mormons to [h] manage.
I suppose there is no danger
but it keeps me anxious.
Well in two weeks I hope to [I] see
you once more,
E. P.Sept 19
1115 Walnut St.

My dear Alice;
I am afraid  I
am going to fulfil my own
prediction and drown you in
semi-occasional deluges of letters.
I feel as if I were going to
wish to talk on paper a good
deal, and tell you about my
daily doings, so that when some
time we needn't feel as if there
had been a gap in which we
hadn't known anything about
each other's lived.
First then, I am boarding with
a Mrs. Haynes, a Quaker lady, and
very pleasant. There is a Mr.
Haynes, but he is a cipher apparently.
There are three little Haynes, an
invisible baby that cries, and a
nice little girl and boy. It is
a pleasant place, but I don't
mean to stay permanently, because
it is in the fashionable quarter
and costs too much.
There are several other boarders,
one of them is a nice old maida friend also, with such spotless
gray dresses and white collars.
Isn't is curious that the friends have
dropped the thou and use thee in
this nominative? I am afraid I
stared for a day or two when
Mrs. H. would say "thee looks tired,"
"thee has a bright day," etc I have
met a few who say thou but not many.
There is also a Mrs Coates here with
her daughter. She has brought the
child on from Michigan for
treatment for curved spine. I
felt it my duty to talk with
them, they are so lonesome looking,
but it wasn't a first a pleasant
duty, they being unpromising
specimens. I like them better
now, and take the girl out to
walk as often as she can be
coaxed into the air. she is such
a ghost of a thing. When told 
[?] style of thing, though, I do it,
as you say of your blue dresses,
from sentimental motives mostly,
because I think you would if
you were here.
There is also a Mr Perry, teacher
in our school and a great
comfort to me, he knows "Tom
Lindsay," and Mrs. L. his wife knows


2
Lydia Dame, and last and most
important, he knows the Jacksons
of Bernardstown.
Wm Penn Charter School is a curious
affair. It is the prettiest school
building I ever saw, flowers
in every recitation room, a
fountain or two, and in winter
open fires. There are about
125 students, little aristocrats to
their finger tips. Mr. Jones boasts
that no man worth less than
$100,000 can send his boy there.
They are gentlemanly lads, wellbred
but babyish. The whole thing
impresses me as fatty and small.
They learn what they do learn
since, are remarkably thorough,
but a lesson for an ordinary
boy would kill them. They are
used to "coddling." Knowledge needs
to be chopped up fine and stewed
to suit their delicate palates, and
even then they take it in homeopathic
doses. That is the vice of
private schools in general, I suppose
but I never realized it before.
Mr. Jones a good man but a
curiosity. I feel an unbecoming
desire to laugh when I see him
pattering down stairs after thefiles of boys at recess time,
trumpet as his [to] ear to catch
a noise. He has a passion for
old Virgils and a scorn of everything 
scientific. I have a physiology
class to teach, and before I began
he warned me of the awful
example of a man he knew who
gave lectures on that subject and
brought in the hearts of
oxen! to show them. I asked
permission to bring in my microscope
and it was hesitatingly given, I also
begged for a skeleton, and have the
promise of the beast, but it doesnt
seem to put in an appearance.
He is a good man but greatly
puffed up with the glories of the
Wm Penn Charter School, you should
have seen him walk into the
Adams Express office with me
when I had to be identified, before
taking possession of my box of books.
You should have seen him pull
out his circular and point
to the names of the trustees and
position of [these] those men. The
Express man was much cowed,
poor fellow.


3
This morning I was unspeakable
blue. It was partly that I am so
tired. Isn't is a rascally kind of
head that is so nervous as invariably
to refuse to sleep on occasion of any new
and momentous experience? I
haven't been asleep since last Monday
night, and if I weren't on principle
opposed to it I'd get some opinion
for its killing [it] me,. Then Philadelphia
is a stifling place. Its a
place for rich people and nothing
else counts, nobody cares apparently
and I miss already the intellectual
atmosphere of New England.
I don't enjoy intellectual cookery
either, and so, as I said I was about
ready to have a good cry this morning,
then I made up my mind
to take another leaf out of your
book and go to church every
Sunday. I dont at home, you
know, except when I feel like it.
However its a discreditable truth
that blueness of certain kinds inclines
me very strongly to church going.
Who is it that says:
"And beasts say, 'Lord be pitiful,'
that ne'er said, 'Lord be praised',"I hunted up a Universalist
church and heard just such a
sermon as one usually gets in a 
Universalist church, a setting forth of
the merits of said denomination, and
the (comparative) demerits of every other,
put in this case a little more clearly
and logically than usual
perhaps. Well, though I dont
find such mental pabulum nutritious
in any great degree as a rule, still
it sounded familiar, and was almost
the only natural thing I had
found since leaving home. So
still surrounded by a certain half of
sentimental reminiscence, for the
second time in some twenty odd
years I walked up to the minister
after service, and not only 
shook hands but introduced myself.
I was rewarded by finding the
"Church of the Messiah" a much
more social place than city churches
in general. The minister surprised
me by demanding my address and
introducing me to some of his
attendant deacons, one of whom
also amazed me by pulling out
a note book and taking down
my number. I have since been
haunted by a vision of myself
calling upon that minister
and demanding if any of his

4
parishioners take boarders.
I am finding great difficulty
in getting a suitable place for
mother and it would be paradise
to her to get into a Universalist
family. If my heart doesn't fail
me I shall do it yet.
Mr. Jones asked me a short time
ago about my "denominational
preference," and I told him as I
always tell people, that I was a
Universalist, I am not sure that
it is the thing to say, it is not the
truth, the whole truth, and nothing
but the truth, but it is the [edict]
finest short answer. Well, Mr
J. asked me to keep my Universalism
private, I told him I
should not make it obtrusive, but
I could not deny it. It has
already become public however, for
three of the teachers called to take me
to church this morning and I was
obliged to confess that I had "made
up my mouth" to go to the Universalist
meeting. The amount of sensation
to be created remains to witness.
Do you know any temperance
people in Philad'a? My interest
in that question has always been
theoretical rather than practical, but
if I stay here long, it is sure to
grow practical. I cant go on
the street without seeing rulingmen, and those abominable
screen doors greet one from
nearly every block. It is
unimaginably worse than Boston.
I have found the Mercantile
Library and mean to revel in it.
You can walk among the books,
take away all you want and
sit and read them without hindrance.
I called to see Mrs Burleigh on Thursday
but found she had not yet returned
to the city, shall go again.
I feel convicted of making very
commonplace remarks but am 
too stupid and tired to think.
Some time when you go away and
spend your days tramping a strange
city for boarding places, and your
nights tossing about in a fever of
vexation, maybe you would be
brilliant. Mr Perry is more
downhearted than I, he doesnt like
the school at all, says "those
babies cant be taught Greek," Elle,
[is] his wife hasn't  come and
he's lonesome . It would be
comical if it were not rather
pitiful. To hear us try to keep
each other's courage up, by
discussing minutely the character
of the Dame girls, and telling
anecdotes about them. They
will never know what a
conversational boon they are
proving to two poor mortals.
Mr Perry is short, and round faced


5
and rosy cheeked, and I feel
quite a grand motherly interest
in him, he is so very home sick.
As for me I think I shall
get on well when I grow used to it.
I believe you would despise me if you
knew how I wavered and vacillated
over this thing. I felt from the
beginning that it was my duty
to come, and yet I wouldnt decide
till fall, I snatched at every loophole
of escape, and never fairly
yielded until the last time I went
to Annisquam. I walked from there
back to Gloucester one Thursday afternoon,
and on the way my conscience saw
its chance and fairly cornered me.
I looked it in the face and made
up my mind, but it cost me the
hardest struggle of my life. Not wholly
because I hated to give up my work, my
profession that was to be, but largely
because [is] I cling tenaciously to my
home and my few friends. It is
misery to me to live among strangers.
I feel just like those sea anemones that
draw in all their tentacles, and turn into
cold, shrinking slippery balls the minute
they are touched. However it's good for me.
I need to learn self reliance.
My dear, dear girl, write to me often, for
I love you better than you know. You
are the dearest friend I have, almost
the only friend I have.
E. O. P.Dear Alice;
Here am I in
Philadelphia at last. My journey
was adventurous. There was a little
yellow haired two year old boy in
the seat behind me whom I
made love to most of the way,
and who pulled my hair well
in return. We had a wee bit
of an accident, bumped a
freight train with a bang at
midnight, broke most of the
glass aboard, and knocked some
few people down. The freight train
was so much damaged that it
took about two hours to clear away
the rubbish and let us pass.
I have spent my day hunting
board, and have found a temporary
abiding place with a lovely little
Quaker woman whom I like but
whose children made a most
unquakerian noise.
To my great joy one of our

teachers has a wife who is a Vassar girl & knows
Lydia Dame. I hope to get a
chance to board with them before
long. His name is Perry and he
comes from Portland. The
Mr Jones, the principal, is a
peculiar man, with a passion for
Virgil. He has been showing
me this afternoon an invoice of
books just from London, $150
laid out in rare editions of
Virgil. He had 130 editions before
I am tired and sleepy, but
shall write soon at greater
length.
Yours with great love
E. Putnam
1115 Walnut St, Philadelphia
Give my love to your mother and
father and tell them goodby for a
little while from me.Dear Alice;
Beware how you
suggest to me that, if I am
ill, I can send for you. How
do you know but that such a
temptation may prove irresistible,
and that I may furtively eat
green apples or sit up all
night a while, in order to
fulfil the condition? It
would be just like me, I
assure you.
The process of draping the
city still goes on. The
streets were sombre and
funereal at first, I have no
words to tell how heavy and
black the crape falls now.
The sad color is a truer

exponent of public feeling
too, than in most ostentatious
of general grief.
There is another side to it
though not quite so pleasant
to look at. Did you ever
hear anything more heathenish
that the last two lines
of Holland's poem;
"What is there left for us who
think and feel,
"But damn the wasp and crush
it under heel?"
And could any one believe that
the same man who wrote that
also wrote those lines in "Bitter
Sweet" beginning,
"The noblest pity on the Earth is
that bestowed on sin"
I am far enough from
being a sentimentalist in such
matters, but I do think
[it] there is a ghastly light thrown
on Christian civilization bythe general oblivion of the
past that [Listand?] has a soul
to serve. Do you remember
our old discussions of the
punishment theories? I am
more and more convinced
that the "sentimental" reformation
theory is the very one worthy
of us   I do my part - I
say Jeremiah [Listand?] as
sevarely as may be, but punish
him soberly and thoughtfully,
in God's name, and as Gods
servants on Earth, never
forgetting that in our deepest
degradation and sin,
"We cannot drift
Beyond his love and care
It is at such times as this that Universalism seems
to me beautiful and precious
beyond measure. The
"reform" theory belongs more
naturally to us and we


can most consistently and
universally apply it.
If the American people
would but turn the full
measure of their righteous
indignation against the
spoils system that made
a [?] possible, Garfield
would not have died in vain
I have written a very
meek note to Mrs Talbot and
another to Prof. Hyatt. Neither
has answered me, and I fear
that in their eyes I have
sinned beyond forgiveness.
I am sorry both on my
own account, and because
it would be good for the
next girl [to] who wants
to study biology. I do very
much like Prof. Hyatt and
am so sorry to have vexed
him. But it can't be helped.
I began to think and to
read up a little on the Savage
question last night. The
result this far is a certain
"riled up" and muddy mental
state. Mill identifies pleasure
and desire. That is clearly a
mistake. In many cases
desire is a condition of pleasure
and so the two are clearly
distinct. Desire for food or
hunger is quite [a] easily distinguishable
from the pleasure
that accompanies eating. So
in occupation there must
be a certain interest in
the end, a certain amount
of eagerness as a condition
of pleasure. But, if 
one undertakes a certain work
for the sake of finding
pleasure in it, and for the
sake of the pleasure cultivates


the interest, he will be
apt to defeat his end. The
pleasure that is to result if
kept conditionally before the mind
will never come. The real
end has to be to a certain
extent hidden from view.
It is easy enough to set a
certain [???d] on the question
by the insight that the
desirable and the pleasurable
are not one-but in
clearing up one trouble another
comes into view. One cant
help being reminded of our
talk about the end and aim
of doing good to [?], and
obscurity in wh. the [?]
motive [s????ed] obliged to [??st].
It seems to be quite a common
thing to be able to attain an
end only by not coming directly
at it + so it ceases to be
such a strong argument
against a theory.Mill thinks w. Spencer that we
always seek to keep pleasurable
states in consciousness and
painful ones out, and
that we always seek things
just in proportion the amount
of pleasure in them.
In this case, if we so made
as to be unable to desire any
thing but the pleasant, the
way only wrong would seem to
be going against nature in
taking the unpleasant suffering
that the theory allowed us 
be able to do it etc. etc.
ad infinitum. I had best 
keep still until I settle.
I didn't mean to write
to you today, but in some
way when I have done my
duty by getting a lot of
epistles ready for the post
it is the most natural
thing in the world to repeat
my self by the [indulgence?] of


scribbling a while to you.
Lovingly
E. PutnamDear Alice;

My reasons for putting 
some things into the
letter instead of the article
were two fold. First, women
in general have a certain
horror of town meetings and their
repeated rough ways, and I
didn't wish to increase said
horror. I was afraid if I enlarged
upon tobacco and dogs, it would
only disgust waverers with the
thought of trying it. Next, I
thought perhaps it wasnt quite
fair, because No Reading isnt
alone, or singluar in that
respect. The tobacco smoke here
in Danvers is stifling.

[*A woman suffrage club here but
dont know how I shall succeed.
Give my love to your mother, and
 let me know if I can see you Saturday
E. O.*]However, if it seems good to you
print all you like. I didnt
just wish to smoke it out
so bad that nobody would
believe it, but after all its true.
I have a number of subscribers
names, but shall be in Boston
on Saturday, and hand in
the money instead of sending.
Send me word if you are to be in the city and at what time, I
can call at Park St. I shall be
wandering about all day, and 
wish to see you.
At our meeting last night my
wrath boiled hot enough to speak
but I couldn't. The speakers were
fixed beforehand and it wasnt
open [for] to the audience. If I
had not supposed it would be
I should have asked beforehand
to be put on the list of speakers,
for I ache to let some of

them know which side I am
on. The speakers were as
follows. Senator Mudge opened the
discussion for the affirmative,
Rev. Mr Wright followed on the
negative, Rev Mr Sauger was
second on the affirmative, Mr
Wright followed on the negative.
Third on the affirmative came
Israel Andrews, third on the negative,
 W. E. C. Wright (!!) Fourth on the
affirmative, time divided between
C. H. Shepard, and Winthrop Andrews.
Fourth on the negative, William E. C. Wright (!!)
The time having then expired,
the chairman, Mr. Fiske, put the
question to the audience whether
they would like to hear from Miss
Eastman who was present or whether
they would adjourn. Miss Eastman
was unanimously invited to speak, and
made a grand use of her fifteen
minutes. Rev. W. E. C. Wright was then
allowed fifteen more to reply to herMr. Wright said about all the
mean things he could, made the
men of a certain evil laugh and
flung fictions [?ood?ull] in our faces.
The men on the affirmative talked
like gentlemen, and won the
approval of a different class
in the audience. One lady who
 has been [????irly] opposed to suffrage
remarked that she was sorry to
be on that side for she was
ashamed of her champions.
A man told me that he had
opposed suffrage for [two?] years, but
nevertheless he tho't Mr. Wright
owed an apology to every woman
in the audience. It is perhaps
common enough on the meeting
to say that I obtained three subscribers
to the "Journal" before I left the
hall.
I have obtained a list of [the?]
registered women and mean to
see them all to day to organize



Dear Alice;
I came home from
Annisquam Wednesday noon; and
should have sent you a line
before but for a state of general
good-for-nothingness growing out of
headache and hot weather.
Prof. H. had been called away on
business for a day or two; but Mr
Van [Hack?] had interested himself
with exceeding kindness in my behalf
and written to a number of people
in Boston who have to do with the
private schools. He had heard of a
probable opening in physiology for
January and the spring, but most
of his notes were yet to be answered.
He thought he could give me full
information by Saturday, and told

me at any rate to wait till the
last minute before accepting because
he could send a competent teacher
at a minute's notice almost.
I never knew before how very good
Mr. V. J. can be; but I am all
but certain I shall go to Philadelphia
just the same. At the rate private
teaching is paid in Boston it would
apparently take about all my time
to earn my bread and butter; and,
if I can't get time to study, I might
as well be paid well for my time
as ill. So much for that.
Did you see the account of the
Locust Lodgers in last Saturday's
"Traveller"? It was written by Lillian
Whiting. Do you know how she got
her facts?
I found Laura still owning a
back, but jolly in spite of it.
Cadge had her sister with her, and


Helen Joy was gradually losing the
disgracefully white hands and face she
brought with her to Annisquam.
I have begun upon both of those
articles which you intimated would
be companions of Santa Claus. To do
you justice, they would progress very
much till the weather changes.
I shall be at home every day next
week with the possible exception of
Monday, and (if possible) you are
to come to Danvers whenever it will be
most convenient to you. Moreover if possible
you must make up your mind to
stay over night. One day will be just
as convenient as another to me, and
by Tuesday or Wednesday I shall look for you.
Dont fail to come. I dont want you
to think me foolish; but, truly, I have
grown to care so much for you, that leaving
you is the hardest thing before me.
In haste
EO Putnam
Please come, Alice, I want you so much3

as I do, but if she could now
marry the only man she ever loved,
she would throw her scruples to
the winds and risk everything.
But she says I have a good deal
of growing to do yet and ought
not to try to settle into a shape
till I am thirty. I fancy from
the little she told me that she was
[activated?] somewhat by the fact
she [never really] found her
mate when she was thirty, and she
imagines we are much alike.
I should like to see the man
my cousin loved. He must
have been unusual in many
respects to be [?] worthy of such
a woman as she. And I wish
I knew what stood between them.
I have a wild idea of my own
that he was married. [?] wholly
without authority. I am 
coming to be deeply interested in
my cousin, she is very beautiful,
more so at thirty two than ever
before, and a very keen thinker,
but she will never make a
painter, has given up her
studies in fact from much the
same reasons that hinder my ever
settling to any useful work.
She is in such despair religiously
that nothing looks to her worth
while. Isn't that a commentary
on the beauties of agnosticism. After
six years hard work in Rome
and Paris, she throws it all up
and burns her pictures.
Well, well, I must stop, and dig
in the garden, else I shall
disturb my comfort with
the effort of thinking. If ever
I do get out of this slough of
despond, I shall turn
missionary and work.

Yours lovingly
E. P.


Dear Alice: Here it is two whole weeks and more
since I saw we heard from you. How do you suppose
I have survived such a starvation epoch? I'm
sure I dont know. I havent been a bit comfortable
I assure you. There's a deal of news to tell you, but
I am sure to forget most of it until my letter is gone.
The "Danvers Women's Association" organized April 15, [with]
I send you a list of officers, by laws etc. Mrs. Diaz read
her paper upon "Women's Book for the Millennium," yesterday
May 9, before an audience of about fifty five, I think.
She put just about enough suffrage into it to make
the uninitiated open their eyes and suspect what we
are up to. She is coming for the next three
meetings to give some talks upon domestic problems.
We are going to hire a hall, sell tickets and be
quite grand. As Mrs. Wentworth says, "its sure
to be a go now."
I have been making friends with Dr. Kate Mudge of
Salem. She graduated in '80 from B. U. Medical School,
and we seem to have many common friends. I like hervery much.
I have finished John Inglesant, and am greatly
interested in it. At the same time it does not
affect me as it would if Mr. Inglesant tho't a little
more for himself and were a little less swayed by
others. The spectacle of a [?] [?] a Jesuit's Church
 is curious and instructive, but not to me so interesting
as if he had more backbone. It is true that he
does in the end arrive at independence, but
author doesn't seem to me to have fully worked up
his material so much is touched upon and then
dropped,  [his] Inglesant's relations and life with his wife for instance.
And did you ever before read a book with such
awful mixes of pronouns? I don't mean that I
don't like it, for I think it extremely powerful.
I only mean that at present a man thinking earnestly for
himself toward the light is more interesting to me
than one swayed so much by others and tempted by
such curious means, tho' I acknowledge at the same time
that Inglesant is far more like the actual [?]
and a better representation of what actually goes
on in the world than an stronger character would be.
It is I suppose decided that, if my health permits,
I shall be married in the fall. You need to
ask me if I were altogether sure I had made
a sincere convert of the young man to my side
of the woman question. Well, John has been reading
Froude's Carlyle, and has been made somewhat wroth
over [the] what the N. Y. Tribune calls the 'Living death
and burial of Jane Baillie Welsh." I am going to
commit a breach of confidence possibly by sending you
a part of the letter he wrote me [the] during the [ebullitions?]


You will see that the misguided youth has a most
[un??arrantable] confidence in my abilities. But I
send it because it shows, I think, that no woman
who married him need fear any especial hindrance
in any line of work she chose to undertake.
You remember, [?] [?], that I spoke to you about
wishing to give up my church membership. I
have found a case that dwarfs mine. Last Sunday
morning I went [mar?ing] with Rev. Mr. Sauger's
wife, we sat on a log in burly Woods and talked
two hours and more. She told me that many a
time she had been so tormented by the impossibility
of knowing if there were a good God, that if she
had not felt it cowardly to leave her child she
would have put herself out of the world to see if there
were anything beyond it. And she bade me imagine
what her life had been, a minister's wife, obliged for
her husband's sake to guard every expression, almost
every look, to look for no sympathy anywhere. Her
husband even believes in special providences, or what
are ordinarily so called; and she has suffered, I suppose
beyond telling, from having the parish people come 
to her at every point for religious help and sympathy,
and from sitting always in an atmosphere of faith
and obliged to seem to share it. She told me 
it was the greatest possible happiness to her when three
years ago her husband gave up active work in
the ministry, and she could be her own self a little
more. She advised me to keep still as she had
done, and, I suppose, unless I can get my mother's
free consent to the entreaty, I shall. 
Do you suppose that if I am up to the
Suffrage Festival I could sit somewhere within sight
of you: I should be rather awed and "scared"
otherwise. I am going to run about this week
to see how many Danvers people intend to go.
I dont seem to get much time for anything just
now. Painters are at work upon the house outside,
there is a man digging up and planting the garden,
and we have a seamstress busy concocting gowns, 
cloaks, etc. I want to get most of my sewing out of the
way, because it would fret mother to have it about
in hot weather. However, I shall very much less done
than young women about to commit matrimony usually
do, and in a few days I hope we shall be restored
to comparative quiet.
Yours very lovingly
E. P.