Blackwell Family Blackwell, Hannah Elizabeth BlackwellAsheville July 27, 1848. My dear Mother I received your welcome letter last night while engaged in your favorite Saturday evening's employment-singing hymns-a stranger minister who was to preach next day had just arrived, & I, seated at the piano surrounded by the girls was supplying him with sacred entertainment when Howard Dickson laid your letter beside me-I smiled & gave an involuntary quaver in the 'Come Holy Spi,' which made the girls giggle but seeing the four eyes of the two ministers bent astonishedly upon us, I pulled a long face, the girls straightened theirs & we continued-'rit heavenly dove'-I soon ran off with a candle & my letter & read with eagerness all the profane parts-& most of the religious-as it is a first letter-I am very glad that you derive so much peaceful satisfaction from Upham, I know it had a soothing influence, for whenever I used to go into your room in the afternoon, I found you asleep on the bed with the book in your hand-but I find no lack of such books here-Jonathan Edwards on the Affections, which I've lately read, has the same peaceful tendency; and a collection of some thirty volumes which I've looked at, called I believe the 'Sunday School teacher's library', is an ample supply of the same sort-& even should the books fail, the preaching & teaching of our good Doctor Dickson, would abundantly make up the deficiency-so as you may suppose from such rich provision, my soul in which you seem to take so much interest flourishes grandly-nay the only danger is that it may wax too fat & kick, & as I'm rather afraid that my body, strong as it is could hardly stand such vicious manifestations, I take the precaution to dilute this strong food-so at prayer time I study the natural history of the birds & flowers on the chintz sofa covering & say to myself-oh how happy Mother would be if she could only see me kneeling here-at church, if no thought, of particular interest occur to me, I look out of window, admire the trees & mountains & try to catch the accents of that Nature-Spirit, whose existence Mr Andrews denies when we sing hymns, I give my whole attention to singing second-& when I read good books, I go to sleep-so perhaps after all I shall succeed in keeping my soul, in as genteel aristocratic condition-having now answered satisfactorily the sacred part of your letter-I will proceed to the profane-What makes you get sick? I was very sorry to hear of your sufferings-do practise singing with Ellen to strengthen your lungs & ride on horse back with Henry to purify your blood. Poor Mrs Stowe too, what a martyr she is-give my love to her, & tell her how I long for a merry talk-tis a blessing equally rare & delightful to meet with a person who will give you a good hearty laugh. I have just performed my first professional cure & am already dubbed Dr Blackwell, by the household. I mesmerized away a severe head ache that afflicted Miss O'Hear a kind hearted childlike black haired tiny old maid the favorite of the family & especial pet of the children-she had just recovered from a very severe attack of sickness & great suffering in the month from calomel, which made her declare thatno physician ought to receive his diploma, till he has been salivated that he may know the torture he is inflicting on his patients-I went into her room last night & found her suffering with an intense throbbing headache-I offered to relieve her, half doubting my own powers, never having attempted any thing of the kind-but in quarter or half an hour, she was entirely relieved, & declared some good angel had sent me to her aid. I've just returned from the Sunday school which we have organized today for the slaves When I first came here, I determined, to teach all the slaves I could to read & write & elevate them in every way in my power, as the only way in which I could reconcile it to my conscience to live amongst them-but to my consternation I found that the laws forbade it, & Dr Dickson was not willing to evade them-not the slightest effort was made to instruct them in any way except that now & then a sermon was preached to them, but they had to labour on on on without a ray of light or hope-twas intolerable to me, & I proposed at last that we should have Sunday school & give them oral instruction, & as such a scheme had been talked of about a year ago, I found a few who were willing to engage in the undertaking-accordingly this afternoon at three o'clock we made a beginning-four ladies & one gentleman, with about twenty five scholars-we have class of men, women, boys, & two girls- I take one of the latter, consisting of four, from eight to twelve years old- I assure you I felt a little odd, sitting down in front of those degraded little beings, to teach them a religion which their owners professed to follow while violating its very first principles, & audaciously presuming to stand between them & the Almighty-as I looked round the little room & saw those ladies holding forth to their slaves, fancying that now they were fulfilling every duty & were quite model mistresses, I longed to jump up, knock them all down, as impious blasphemers & atheists, & taking the chains from those injured unmanned men, fasten them on their tyrants till they learned in dismal wretchedness, the bitterness of that bondage they inflict on their brethren-but I did not do it-I sat quietly teaching & reserved my indignation to vent on this inoffensive white paper-I am afraid much good cannot be done in this way-their minds are so obscured & oral instruction is so tedious that the patience of both teachers & scholars may be worn out. I however shall do my utmost to illuminate head & heart & the poor children thanked me with humble sincerity this afternoon, for my efforts. You need not be afraid that I shall make myself conspicuous, or gain the hated name of abolitionist-I sometimes reproach myself for my prudence, & the calmness with which I answer some outrageous injustice, while I'm really raging with indignation-but it is the only way, in which I can hope to do any good, for the slightest display of feeling arms all their prejudices & I am no orator to convert by a burst of passionate eloquence, so I must ever go on in my quiet manner, knowing that it does not proceed from cowardice. I wish I could give you a cheering account of numerous music scholars, & french & german classes, but the place is too small for anything of the sort. I hear constantly a great deal about Charleston, every body seems connected with that city, & a great many of the inhabitants are spending the summer here & at the Springs-I mean to make some enquiries as to the schools & teachers of that city-it would be a pleasant residence in some respects as to the money gaining opportunities I cannot yet judge-I mention this not from any serious idea of going there, but that you know the schemes that are passing through my head-I am fixed here till December, & probably a thousand plans will come & go between this & then-for I feel very wakeful just at present, if you understand what I mean-my brain is as busy as it can be, & consequently I'm happy-for one is only miserable when stupid & lazy, wasting the time & doing no good to self or any body else. How shocking it is that Washington should have such an impure body- you ought to shave his head, give him a little opening medecine, bathe him every day, & rub him down with a hard towel-if you do not look after Howard constantly, the little unfortunate will follow in the same evil course. I should think his life was really in danger, for judging his head from the appearance it presented on the journey, I should fear the population had by this time almost eaten into the brain, & that of course would cause instant death. I do wish I could say something that would make them persevere in well doing-this fit of combing for a day or two, & then neglecting it for weeks, is abominable. [* omit] So you too Mother corroborate Henry's glowing account of the "fine doings," on our quiet Walnut Hills. I shall really begin to think that I have been the coil genius of the place, withholding the rain from the garden, & the visitors from the house, for no sooner am I gone than floods of bath pour down, & up & everywhere is greenness & gaiety-very well-I certainly wont come back like Satan to bring a blight into Paradise-I believe I'll marry a Unitarian minister & go as a missionary to the Sandwich Islands, I read a very interesting account of them lately, that excited my bump of adventure not a little-there's a tremendous volcano there, & wonderful minerals, that would greatly enrich my cabinet-so don't be too much surprised if you should soon receive a farewell letter from Mrs H- together with her portrait & last will & testament-but seriously if Miss Apylene (I never can tell how to spell her name, so I give it in the most unlikely way) Guilford, came up, of course Marianne will consider it a call, & return it with dignity-for it seems to me Henry is growing wild, & turning our house into a sort of banqueting hall for Comus & his crew I beg Marianne to set her face against by taking every visit to herself.How is Mr Lucius Ritter, & the colporteur society? Do you still my dear Mother disgrace the family by your importunate begging? or has your sickness prevented your zeal-if so take it as a providential stroke sent to warn you against thinking that by persecuting poor saints you are doing God service. Have any other operations been set on foot by you Mrs Henry Miller & Co. if so pray let me know them that I may be able to follow your actions in all your zealous protestant peregrinations. They've just spoiled my gingham muslin dress for me in the wash-faded it so that it looks like a rag-tis very Asheville /45 July 27. ditto Mrs Blackwell Cincinnati Ohio provoking, for twas my prettiest dress-I pay a dollar a month for washing-cheap enough, if it were only well done-I wear my traveling dress every morning so as to save my muslins as much as possible from ruin. My white bonnet is much admired-Miss Charlotte Carr sent to borrow it the other day, & has made one its exact image flowers & all-I felt quite proud in setting the fashion in Asheville. You must give my love to everybody-tis against my principles to send messages-write soon-I like to receive a letter every day-thank Mrs Washburne for the use of her carpet bag, which I've no doubt our awkward Sam neglected to do-tell Henry to correct the spelling of a word on the first page of my letter to him-its remembrance kept me awake half an hour one night, and believe me my dear Mother Yr affectionate daughter Elizabeth. My dear Mother, I'm afraid from the sad tone of your letter that you think you are going to die very shortly, but such I assure you is not the case, as I can prove to you if necessary from Scripture and common sense, on the contrary I can prophesy for you many a long & brighter year, in which one of your greatest delights will be to visit me in my beautiful residence near Boston, where I shall present to you my adorable husband, my 3 daughters Faith Hope, & Charity, & 4 sons, Sounding Brass, Thinking Cymbal, Gabriel, and Beelzebub; (Do not imagine however that I'm going to make myself a whole, just at present, the fact is I cannot find my other half here, but only about a sixth, which would not do-There are two rather eligible young males here whose mothers have been some time electioneering for wives, one tall, the other short, with very pretty names, of good family, & with tolerable fortune, but unfortunately, one seems to me a dolt & the other a fool, so I keep them at a respectful distance, which you know I'm quite capable of doing, & when they come to the house I let Emily Ingram entertain them, & if they stay to tea, where I have to make my appearance, though I can't prevent their casting side way glances at me, if they venture to address a word to me, I answer with such perfect politeness, that it makes them fidget in their chair, & remain silent for the future. ( There is a spot called Lover's Grove, about three quarters of a mile from the town, a sweet place on the river bank, encircled by trees, with a hill behind, & a delightful walk, by the water side connecting it with the city, this used to be my Sunday afternoon stroll, but unfortunately it is the favorite resort of the beau & belles of Henderson, who during the summer after afternoon church, regularly promenade thither, in groups of 4 or 5 & meet accidentally on purpose, here they stroll about, recline on the grass watch the steam boats & flirt a very little (it being Sunday) and carve one anothers names, & sentimental verses, on the unfortunate locust trees. I got many offers of an escort thither & as many beaux as I might desire. I went once or twice but at last got dreadfully tired of it, so while my party was busily engaged round a tree, I started off on a good brisk walk home, where some time after the others arrived, in some consternation to know, how and why, I had so suddenly vanished. I laughed at them & their sentimental doings & have had no invitation since; the fact is they all like me, & would willingly have me with them, but I take a pleasure, in making them a little afraid of me. I had a very pleasant drive yesterday to make a bridal call on the presbyterian minister, who has been quite polite to me, the country reminded me in some parts of our charming Staten island rides, though the scenery here of course will not compare, with that little gem.)? I'm very much obliged to you for your interest in my soul, which is quite natural, as you had some hand in giving it me, but you need not be uneasy, for I think a great deal on interesting serious subjects, read the bible, and pray in a very good fashion, so all will come right presently. I wish much you would take some comfort in life, I would join the Millerites, if I thought t'would make you grow plump. Tell Henry & Howy that I'm very sorry I can't write to them, but I've been very much hurried, and as my packet must go this evening, it is impossible for my hand refuseth to obey my will, but I send them instead more love than either of the others, and 1000 dollars apeice if they can find it. Now my dear Mother believe me full of natural affection, & with a great desire for your growing fat]. Yr daughter Elizabeth. [*Mother*] [*Henderson, 1844 amusing-flirtation- May extra lines? Grove*]Charleston Feby 28th 1847. My dear Mother Two letters from you within a twelvemonth, seems as extrarordinary as it is welcome-I was much gratified by the kind home voices that greeted my twenty sixth birthday, I always think of old family times on that day-the penny for each year that Father used laughingly to bestow & the silver that came after-and then the little children's party and all the merry old times; but I am quite satisfied that my childhood has gone, I never wish to recall it happy as it was-I want to be up and doing, not simply enjoying myself, and if I never succeed in accomplishing all my intentions, I mean to have the comfortable assurance that I have tried hard, and done my best. Your letter besides its highly respected religious advice, which I always lay carefully in a little scented corner of my mind, contains many little interesting domestic items how I should like to tap at the window some night, while the brilliant solar is illuminating the plants, and glorifying the cheerful faces inside, and make you all start as if you saw a ghost, till a most substantial shaking of the hand, should convince you to the contrary. I am afraid you must have had a very cold winter in that little house, notwithstanding the back logs and the air tight-why it seems to me the wind must blow through and through & make a little balloon of it-and is it possible the kitchen stairs are outside the house! alas for poor Marian, sliding up and down-I should think the boiling water, would have to be thawed before it reached the end of its journey. We have had a very mild winter on the whole, to my no small delight, for I dreaded the cold exceedingly, in this great house, where the wind rushes grievously through every door and window, & finds only the ghost of a fire to warm it, & where heavy mists from the ocean chill the very marrow of your bones. I've fortunately had no broken chilblains on my hands this winter, and as I teach in the warmest room in the house, and through [*w] open the shutters to let in all the sunshine, I don't often have to wear my blanket, but get along pretty comfortably-I am teaching at present more than eight hours a day, & you may imagine I get pretty tired by tea time-such a press of teaching however will not last very long & I am quite willing that Mrs DuPre should gain as much as possible by me while I'm with her.--About a week ago I got [*received] answer from the old quaker physician Dr Warrington of Philadelphia that I told you about [*to whom I was introduced by Mr Wal?] some time ago-the letter is quite an original, I must transcribe a little, for your benefit, [*for directly I read it, I wished I could hand it to you.] "My dear E. Blackwell Thy letter of 18 Nov. came duly to hand; it has indeed remained unanswered, but not unheeded-I have reflected much, on the propositions contained in it-So strong a hold has the communication had on my feelings and sympathies, that I feared I might speak imprudently, if I should reply impromptu to such noblesentiments-I have myself been so circumstanced in life, as to be rendered measurably competent, to understand the force of promptings to move in somewhat near and little tried paths-My immediate response would therefore perhaps have been "Go onward"-& though if in reasonings with flesh and blood in this matter, I may appear less ardent in my encouragement, let it be borne in mind, that He who puts forth can without fail lead his devoted servants, He can make a way, where there appeared to be no way. He can accomplish his purposes, by instruments of his own selection-in the bringing about his own ends, "God shall work, & who shall let (hinder or prevent) Him." Now this principle is recognizable by the pious of all religious denominations-It is one which has been found operative in very many important enterprises-and it is one on which thy own mind seems so firmly to have settled, that I scarcely need advert to it now, but to show that my own faith may sometimes be so feeble that I enter into human calculation as to the expediency of certain plans of operation which have suggested themselves to me, in the course of any movements about this great city, or when I am reflecting upon the condition of humanity at large. -Now I frankly confess that it is in such a balance that I have from time to time weighed thy interesting concern? "I have personally appealed to some of the most intelligent & liberal minded ladies of my acquaintance, how far the services of a well educated female physician would be appreciated by them-the response uniformly is, " Mrs Gove and Mrs Wright were unfit to teach, nor could any female become acceptable to us, either as a teacher or practitioner of Medicine-"This language is stronger than I should be willing to use myself-It is an interesting matter of history, and one which may afford some encouragement to reformers to persevere, when they are assured that their cause has its foundation in truth, justice & mercy-that Saul who had been most bitter in his persecution of christians joining in the popular outcry against the great Innovator, not only himself became a convert to the new faith, but under the name of Paul for the balance of his active life, employed his powerful talents, in the extension of the very doctrines, which in his misguided zeal he had laboured to subvert. I confess my dear Lady, that I with thee, see many difficulties in the way to the attainment-first to the acquisition of the kind [of knowledge] & amount of education, thou art aware is necessary as a capital stock with which to begin the enterprize, which has been opened to thy mind-secondly [and] that after years spent in the attempt, the popular mind will be found barred against thy mission of love & humanity but I beg thee to believe with me, that if the project be of Divine origin & appointment it will sooner [or] later surely be accomplished-Thus in the language of Gamaliel on another occasion, "If [this course or] this work be of men, it will come to nought but if it be of God ye can not overthrow it- less haply ye be found even to fight against God." "In now addressing thee personally, I cordially reiterate the invitation I should be happy to compare notes with thee at any leisure moment, which may be afforded me, tho' I am in the whirl of occupation-& if after our conferences together, thou shouldst become as persuaded as I am, that woman was designed to be the help meet for man, & that in the responsible duties of relieving ills which flesh is heir to, it is appropriate that man be the physician & woman the nurse, it may possibly occur to thee, that thy real mission in this world of probation will be to contribute with all the talents, which thy Father in Heaven has so bountifully bestowed, the exaltation of a portion of thy sex, the holy duties of nursing the sick & thus succoring the distressed- With sentiments of most respectful consideration--" This is a portion of the good doctor's letter & though our opinions differ considerably I cannot complain of his treating the matter too lightly-he seems to be an honest simple minded enthusiastic old man & I feel as if I might regard him as a friend in Philadelphia-the letter is copied by his wife in a clear pretty hand, so I consider her as interested also. I told you of a letter I had from Anna, who is under Dr. Schieferdecker's care, he must really be a generous hearted man, to receive her as he does, in hope of curing her-payment to come when it can-I think he must have considerable satisfaction in being able to do such acts of kindness-I hope sincerely Anna may get well, & not translate any more french novels, unless they are better than the one she selected, I do not think Jacque's calculated to improve the generation, either in taste, intelligence or morality. I would much sooner see her help edit the Chronotype, as she says Mr Wright desires, than publish any more books of the same kind. I am curious to see Anna again-I sometimes doubt whether I shall recognize her in any way, & yet I think old recollections must still form a bond of union, much as I know we shall differ-but she has said so much in her letters [?] the progress of her being, floating her away from uncongenial associates, finding a true sister in Mary Gove, that I half fear her [being?] may have floated entirely out of reach of my voice which is [not?] a very loud one-however when I get within sight I'll stand [on?] tiptoe, fill my lungs & shout a regular do, re, mi, fa, at her. Well my dear Mother I wish I could tell you something amusing-but though we do a good deal of small laughing, it would hardly be worth while to put our jokes down on paper-Miss Buell and I talk of hiring a beau if we can get one cheap, for really these beautiful moonlight nights, a walk on the Battery would be very pleasant, & a visit to the opera that is now in town would be by no means disagreeable-but now we have to sit at our window & admire the moonlight on the waters, & sigh in vain after the vanities of the world, all for want of a beau, alas poor nuns that we are. Then sometimes the girls get up a little screaming for our benefit; the other night for instance, the ten o'clock bell had rung, Miss Buell had seen that the lights were out & the girls in bed- we were comfortably sinking into forgetfulness on our pillows, when I fancied I heard a poor dog yelling in some yard, I listened sympathizingly & found itwas a human voice in the distance uttering at short intervals a succession of agonized shrieks-I was horrified & indignant-"do listen I cried, "they are whipping a poor negro, isn't it abominable-". We listened & the shrieks seemed to draw nearer- "Why Miss Buell 'tis certainly the girls in the opposite room!" "Oh no they are all asleep-'tis Sonny's voice down stairs, they must be washing him"-"At this time of night-what an idea I'm convinced it is the girls-the shrieks increased, & at intervals we distinguished the words-"oh Penny, Penny Grimke, oh Miss Buell, Miss Blackwell, Mrs Peters oh Mrs Peters! I jumped out of bed, got a light & hurried into the opposite room, as I opened the door the noise almost stunned me-there were six girls, all screaming at the top of their voices as pale as their night gowns, & some of them almost in fits-all the other doors were thrown open & I was immediately surrounded by a [*Charleston & Aiken 46-47*] Mrs Blackwell Cincinnati Ohio [*47 Mar 5*] perfect mob of girls in white night gowns & caps, talking crying laughing in a regular uproar-I threatened to blow out the lamp-to call Mr Bonnetheau to beat them all, if they wouldn't hush-& at last I got at the origin of the affray-A couple of brushes had fallen on the floor; & one of the girls affirming that somebody had touched her arm, began to scream; all the others joined in, & I really believe, that if I had not gone to them when I did, they would have fallen into convulsions; so completely had they given themselves up to terror. These are some of the pleasant diversions of our life, & as I welcome any thing that makes me laugh they are quite acceptable. I sometimes see old Asheville friends visiting Charleston, they all tell me I look remarkable well & growing quite fat. One tooth of mine however you never will see again it troubled one for a month & then I could stand it not longer, so out it came.-Our winter seems to be quite over, the little Spring flowers have been greeting us for some time, & the ladies are beginning to don their summer gear. Farewell my dear Mother-yrs truly E. Pray forgive my disgraceful [?]-I really blush at it.Dr Eliz to her mother Mar 5 1847 after graduation- Philadelphia Febr 25th 1849 My dear Mother You sent me a dear good welcome letter, & I kiss you heartily for all its affection & sympathy in my eccentric course-I did not miss out either any of the pietical [*pious*] parts either-but I do think Mother mine, that it is a little hard that you will not believe me, when I tell you so seriously, that my soul is doing first rate-why will you make out your child a sinner, when she assures you, that she's a saint, & surely a person can know themself [*himself*], better than any body else can know him-& now let me try & convince you of the fact-first & foremost then-[*4*] I agree with you fully in disliking [*distrusting*] the [*Fourierite*] Harbinger now, & should certainly banish it from my centre table, if I had risen to their dignity of possessing one-I [*distrust*] dislike their discussions & their way of discussing [*some subjects*] I think them calculated to do a great deal of mischief, & am only consoled by the reflection that [*few people*] nobody reads them-I go in whole souledly for the divine marriage Institution, & shall always support it by precept, & as soon as I get the chance example too[*!*]-& all those who would upset [*it*] I consider fools & infidels-I think Associationists generally [*?*] a very poor set of people, & if they would commence by reforming themselves & let the Almighty take care of the world, I think they would be much better employed-in fact, the same remark applies to reformers generally; who seem to me [*too often*] real Devil's children from whom Good Lord deliver us! & as to infidel Frenchphilosophy you talk of it's just twaddle, which I should instantly [vomit up] reject if any body were to stuff it into me. 2 (You urge upon me the importance of religion why bless the dear Mother what am I doing else but living religion all the time. isn't it my meat & my drink to do the good will of God. didn't I use to sit in the lecture room & send up a whole canonade of little prayers, & didn't a whole flood of answers come straight down from the throne of grace. and what am I doing now. do you think I care about Medicine. nay verily-it's just to kill the Devil, whom I hate so heartily. that's the fact Mother. & if that isn't forming Christ in one, the hope of Glory, why I don't know what is. so pray comfort yourself [right smugly], & have faith that such a "child of many prayers," will be fixed up all straight at last.) next page 5 (but I do want greatly to see you all again. how long is it since I was at home. more than five years I think. I cann't consent to become a stranger to the geschwistern, & [Washie] & [Emily] & [Ellen] seem almost unknown.) Has Kenyon fixed his plans at all, in respect to time. my movements of course will depend some what on his & I should like to know if he has determined on his plan. I shall do nothing of much importance here, I am dissecting with George Field one of my Geneva friends & when he leaves, as he will in two weeks, I can leave Philadelphia without losing much. it would be so much pleasanter to travel with a companion, that if [he] Harry remains a little longer in N.Y. I shall make an effort to join him in the home journey. but I am unable at present to fix anything definitely, till I've received certain letters I am waiting for. I am living here very quietly with my kind friends. I should not think of living anywhere else in Philadelphia, but their little house is so out of the way, & so difficult to find, that I have found it a great inconvenience. I have hardly received any visits since my return, which I attribute entirely to my [unconnectableness} situation is very important to a physician, & different surroundings would have made my stay here very different. 5(I am now longing to be at work abroad, where I might spend my time so much more profitably.) I heard Professor Agassiz the other night. he has just commenced a course of lectures on the animal creation-his manner was simple & earnest, & the principles he laid down, will render his course very interesting if he develope them fully-I am rubbing up my French also, which is very important to me, & Anna before she left, charged me most strictly to set to work very dilligently on the language. Since writing the above, I've had a letter from Harry in which he seems doubtful as to the success of the Cincinnati project-you however have heard of course from him, so I need not repeat what he says-but I confess I am very desirous to see him safe at home, & steadily engaged in business-the tone of his late letters has not been at all happy; but some hopeful employment will I think be the most effectual cure to his misanthropy I would urge him to come on & stay with me till matters are settled. I could perhaps put him into a little happier frame of mind, but he seems to enjoy opportunities there for enquiring in relation to business, which he certainly could not find in Philadelphia; so I have not pressed him to come- It does me good Mother to hear of your running about so actively, enjoying life & making it worth something-I hope you will be successful in your efforts-but I shall be sorry if the little house is sold & vacated before I see it-why I've never been in a "family mansion," a real house of our own, & I think it must be a very different affair from a rented home, which is only half a home-I have heard so much about the pleasant front parlour, & the little lawn with itstwo trees, & the improvements in the shape of porch & shutters painting papering & chimney-pots, that it will make quite a gap in the family history, if I am not to see it all with my bodily eyes- but nevertheless, I which you a customer with all speed, if it is desirable, & certainly it is the old faces, & kind good hearts that I long to see again, & wherever they are found, will be home. You must let me know all your movements at this [*From Philadelphia before returning home. Parts?*] Mrs Blackwell. Cincinnati. Ohio. busy time-from Harry I get very meagre information, & the last letters from home, have said nothing particular in relation to Sam's affairs, which I suppose are the most important topic, under discussion at present-Is Emily teaching busily, & did she receive my message in relation to certain books I want her to look at, before my return-my guess however is that German has decidedly the preference over Anatomy at present-Is not Anna bad not to write us more fully-I suppose however I should not complain, not having written to her my self-[*6(*] Good bye dear Mother I shall see you soon, & then you will be able to read me [services?] to your heart's content-your M.B.1845 July 27 Alsheville Dr. Elizabeth Blackwell to her mother (Hannah Blackwell) Hymn singing and prayers 1st professional cure Teaching the Slaves in a Sunday School Plan to make enquiries about Charleson bothered by mistake in spellingHoward Dickson Mr. Andrews Ellen Henry B.Blackwell Miss O'Hear Miss Apyline Guildord Marianne Blackwell Mr. Lucius Ritter Charlotte Carr Mr. Washburn Samuel C.Blackwell Henry MillerJuly 1st 1849 a La Maternite. Dear Mother, I have entered upon a curious [*strange*] phase of life, I suppose however you have been expecting the news from what I have said in previous letters & I must try and describe the [curiser?] appearance of things, that you may be able to figure me well, running about with my great white apron, in which respectable article of apparel, I expect to figure for the next three months- I had a good many little obstacles to encounter, from my ignorance of french customs-and the physicians of Paris, as far as I can judge, are determined not to grant the slightest favor to a feminine M.D.-I could not obtain from any persons connected with the Maternite, the smallest modification to suit, the very different manner in which I enter from the young french sage femmes-but I was determined to enter on whatever conditions, and enter too by the first of July, to habituate myself a little to the ways of the place before the annual lectures commenced, which they will in a few days-since I have been here, I find that nothing would have been easier than to have given me a little room to myself, permission to go out occasionally, and similar favors, which need have occasioned no jealousy, or inconvenience, for the very fact of my being a foreigner, impresses the french girls, & they would freely have accorded any claim made for me-but everything was obstinately, to all the representations of my self & Mr Walsh, & I was only too glad to enter, as a young ignorant french girl-Friday night we went to a theatrical representation, that I might take a brilliant farewell of gay parisian life-it was a fairy tale, most admirably given, the illusion was perfect-The next day, the last of June I went about doing a world of little affairs, and it seemed to me that the city looked brighter, the sky, the gardens, the people all more beautiful than they had ever appeared before-the afternoon arrived, & I became a little uneasy, for some certificates that Mr Walsh had promised and had not arrived and as I had fully determined that Saturday the last day of June should be the day of entrance I felt as if delay would be a bad omen-but late in the day, quite unexpectedly, came a register of birth & baptism, which he has procured for me, from Mr Roper, minister of Bridge St Chapel-this removed all difficulty, I instantly procured a carriage, and rode down with Anna to the Hospital-A high stone wall, with the tops of old buildings peeping above, extends nearly the whole length of a little street-a very small door, leads into a dark little entrance the portiere on one side, and a long room called by courtesy the Parloir, on the other-you must notice the parloir, for it is there I shall receive my visit, in a sort of little glass box, sits the good dame, who attends to the letters, and transacts all the out door business for the eleves-the ceiling is very low, the floor of brick, rows of wooden benches ranged one before the other-the most un-interesting room you can possibly conceive, the only pretty thing being the vine leave, which peep through the diamond shape cottage windows-it forms part of a row of old building, standing against the wall which contains the Director's bureau &c-it was too late to see M. Boivin the director, so an old woman took me into the central buildings, through a labyrinth of little passages & long galleries, and all manner of rooms & queer places, to Madame Charrier the Sage femme in chief, whom I wished to introduce to Anna- She has her own rooms in a particular part of the building-her parlour is the funniest little cabinet of curiosities, with a carpet on the floor as it is of brick instead of [waled?] wood, little chintz [?] sofas, mosaic tables, boxes but I want you all to know, that it will not be so utterly dismal as my former letters may have represented it-and, great will be the reward!-Dear friends you can hardly tell how very far I seem to be removed from you at present having given up chin, figures & crucifixes, pictures & embroideries, & curtains everywhere Madame Charrier is a little deformed woman, elderly but with a fresh colour still, & kind blue eyes-I like what I have seen of her, she seems general loved by the pupils, & though I do not imagine her of any particular amount of intellect, she seems to have good sense, and after twelve years of experience in such an establishment as this, she ought to have much valuable experience-her temper is a little explosive as is the case with all the french, but the powder is not of a dangerous nature-after talking a little with her, Anna took her departure, nearly crying, at the idea of leaving me there, when Cousin Sam is to come in a few days, with a couple little girls, Charles Plevin's sister, who are going to a french school and they expect to spend a delightful week in visiting the wonders of Paris & its neighborhood-she comforts herself however with the reflection that she can come & see me every day, and bring me all manner of good things to eat, and all the news, she can collect-Madame Charrier conducted me by unknown ways to Madame Blackel, the superintendent of the Dortoirs-a little woman with projecting teeth & squinting black eyes, but a good natured expression, dressed in a black gown and cap, and muffled up in an old shawl-she took me into the infirmary, & said I must sleep there till I had arranged my affairs with the director-I did not much admire the idea of passing the night in the infirmary-there was a large wood fire in the hearth & the air felt warm and somewhat close-I looked suspiciously at the long rows of beds extending on each side, their white curtains closely drawn, I did not know what undesirable emanations might be proceeding from them-however I said nothing, but determined to investigate the contents of the beds as soon as the observers had withdrawn & my trunk was brought up, my bed pointed out, a little lamp placed in the table, and I was left alone-I proceeded then to make my observations, & found to my great relief that every bed was empty except one, in which one of the slaves who happened to have a head ache was lying-& from her I found that the place is very healthy, & no epidemic has prevailed there for a long time-I found her like all the other french girls, full of those light kindnesses which are so pleasant, she asked me eagerly if I was from her province, & seemed to regard me with much interest when she found I was a stranger from New York, which was the only part of the United States she had heard of & which she took to be an island and near Havanna-after talking with her, I took out my writing materials, and sat down to the table determining to pay a little visit, across the water before going to rest in my new home, but I had no sooner seated myself, than Madame Charrier entered with a crowd of eleves, to know if I would pass the night in the Salle d'accouchements, it being an optional matter the first night-Of course, I expressed the utmost willingness-I put up my letter with a sigh-dressed myself for duty, & accompanied the ancienne eleve (that is, one who has already studied a year, & who always my life entirely to the work, old habits being all vanished for a time, everything, to the minutest circumstance being changed Heaven bless you all-send a welcome greeting to the voluntary prisoner "A la Maternite Rue du Port-Royal-Paris" had one or more of the nouvelles eleves put under her care for initiation) to the room where the children are born-a large apron of coarse towelling was given me with an injunction not to lose it or I should have to pay 3 francs-It was a large upper room, rather dimly lighted, beds all round, a fire on the hearth, cupboards full of linen in the corners, heaps of shining copper & tin utensils, several rush bottomed chairs & wooden tables, and in the centre, a large wooden stand with sides, on which the little new comers, tightly swathed and ticketted, are ranged side by side-in the course of the night we had the pleasure of arranging eight in this way-and the next morning when Madame Charrier made her appearance, the cloth was removed and the sight shown with much triumph-it was really very droll-each little shapeless red visage peeped from under a coarse peeked cap, on the front of which, was a large label with name & sex, a black serge jacket, with a white handkerchief pinned across, and a small blanket tightly folded around the rest of the body, completed the appearance of the little mummy-their behaviour certainly realized Fourier's supposition, for there was very little crying all the time they lay there together- There were four young french women sitting up with me, besides the girl who makes the beds, & does the roughest work-they were all pretty & pleasant of no education, except their course in the institution, but that, had evidently been carefully attended to, and it sounded a little droll to hear the scientific terms flowing so glibly from their laughing lips, which were busily employed in talking nonsense all the time that their duties did not call them to the bed side-The next morning at 10 o'clock we were discharged from duty-it was Sunday, a comparatively leisure day-& I being a protestant was excused from the religious services, but I was too sleepy to do much-I wrote, walked in the garden & read a little there, retired early & had a most welcome sleep, & very pleasant dreams- our Dortoir is a large airy room, with a row of windows & beds on each side, divided into two by a large archway, it contains 16 beds, occupied mostly by anciennes eleves-I have a window behind my bed. I have shoved the bed forward, fitted in a chair behind, hung up my dressing gown, & put a few books on the floor by my side, and call it my room. I am now sitting there writing to you, I have just room to move my right arm freely, but I am out of the way, I am breathing fresh air, and so I consider my self very well off-I have room for one chair in front of me-there I invite you often to pay me a visit-I know you will come, so I shall often see you there, Sometimes all together, sometimes a single one, for a short beautiful communion-An old crucifix ornamented by gilded leaves [hangs] hangs at one end of the dortoir, two little lamps are suspended from the ceiling, an iron bedstead, & a chair are appropriated to each individual, the floor is formed of little hexagon bricks, which in some of the rooms are so terribly polished, that I walk on them with difficulty. the dortoir is seldom quiet, the girls sit there a good deal, and some who have watched through the night are generally there in bed-and how french girls do chatter! how they do go into sudden fits of ecstacy or rage once at least in the day we have a grand storm, Madame Blocel coming in with some trouble or other, in which she and the accused I hardly recognize my earthly relations any longer it seems to me sometimes that I am in the planet Jupiter-no Fourier says that is in Harmony, but the corner of the universe the farthest removed, fro all I love most dearly-Dear Marian, I have thought frequently of your approaching birthday-I shall remember you on the 7th-Will you feel the good wishes, I send you so heartily- out scream each other, appear to be mortal enemies for a few minutes & the best of friends immediately after-Each eleve is obliged to buy a little set out from a woman called Louacadie ( I don't know if I spell the droll name rightly-this consists of some coarse white crockery, a little tin saucepan a large cup, a bottle for wine, and a pewter spoon-we have two regular meals a day, consisting of good plain food & a bottle of wine, at 12 o'clock & 8, at 12 we receive our supply of bread for the day, which we keep in our bed room & take backwards & forwards to meals-I have frequently wished that you could see me walking gravely along the gallery, with my loaf of bread wrapped in a napkin under my arm-The dining room is a large hall full of round tables, only three of which are occupied at present as the eleves only number 30 instead of 90, the usual number-at dinner I saw them altogether for the first time-some very pretty & graceful, some very rough-We have milk every morning at 8-I have agreed with Loucadie to furnish me every day with a good bowl of cafe au lait, which I think delightful-I am learning also to take wine, every one advises me to do so, and I shall be able to drink my bottle a day. There seems to be an admirable organization of labor her in every department- I have been much amused today by the lessons in theory the I have received from the anciennes eleves-a portion of the best, are named Chefs de theorie, they give the primary instruction to the nouvelles eleves-(all receive lessons from Madame Charrier, and the Physicians, but these latter, will not commence their instruction for two weeks to come-the pupils) All sat round, & the young instructress, furnished with a female pelois, & the separated [bodies?], gave out an explanatory sentence which was repeated by each one in turn-I found it an excellent plan of learning french, of course the repetition would have been intolerable without the language, but to listen to a dozen different voices, & to repeat myself, I found to be admirable practice-indeed being cut off from all english communication is absolutely necessary-when together, we could not help speaking english the whole day, through we tried to talk french-at the end of three months, I believe the difficulty which I now find in expressing myself in french (not in understanding it) will have vanished, and I shall be able to work my way much better- July 3rd This morning I finish my letter in another situation-I wrote last night till it was dark. The little lamps in our dortoir, gave so much darkness that I went to bed, for want of light-today I am "en service," that is to say I shall spend the day from 8 in the morning till 8 in the evening with another eleve superintending the six rooms of the Infirmary. I have been handling leeches for the first time-(disgusting little things) I enter with an ancienne eleve, who shows me all the ways of the house,-I was present when the two physicians entered-their air of pomposity, amused me much, it seemed to be the most striking characteristic-At present the Lectures have not commenced-but the visits of Madame Charrier & the physicians take place each day, & nature is always here in great abundance to be studied- I feel that I shall gain a great deal, and hitherto it has really not proved nearly as formidable an imprisonment as I supposed-the air is delightful this beautiful summer weather, the girls are pleasant, there is much to interest in so large an establishment, and I suppose the three three months will soon slip away, for I have entered in my own mind, only for three months though I have been asked so often if I am going to stay 2 years, that I have had to tell a great many evasions-I shall have doubtless many weary moments [*Copied by F.M.*]