BLACKWELL FAMILY HENRY B. BLACKWELL HUNT, S. C. Friend Hunt, Cincinnati Aug 16 1842 I rec'd your letter of 2nd yesterday morning [*Aug*] & hasten to reply both because some time has elapsed since I last wrote & because I want to communicate to you as one friend ought to another, the great change which has taken place in my religious sentiments & feelings within the last six or eights months. I am very sorry to hear that your present situation is so peculiarly unpleasant, indeed I can easily conceive that the situation of 2nd [?] on a Steam Boat, unless peculiarly circumstanced must be anything but enviable. After all, however, you ought to bear in remembrance that the present to minds constituted as ours are is ever devoid of interest & never (no matter what be our real position) appears otherwise than dull, painful & devoid of interest. After all too consider how little our present position has to do with our real happiness, man lives in the Past & the Future & resembles the thirsty traveller in the desert who looks around him & beholds to all appearance vast sheets of pure, cool, water stretching off on every side whilst the spot immediately before him is but a bank of parched & burning sand. Like the traveller too, when with baked lips & longing heart he strives to reach the paradise before him, he finds too late that the vision (like the object of pursuit in a nightmare) recedes as he advances & discovers to his cost that the delusive mirage is all a horrible [?] on entity. Moralising aside my dear friend I think that it is a fault to which you & I are perhaps particularly liable to waste our time in vain regrets for what never can return & which perhaps if I did come back would afford us no gratification, instead of pressing on like the youthful Giants that we are & by industry energy & perseverance [* they were merely a fear of God in the every day acceptation of the word a [?] of death & judgment, a con[?]riction of my own sinfulness, a terrible fear of [?] & a superstitious belief in certain dogmas said to be taught in the Holy Scriptures. To these may be added an "esprit du corps" which led me to love & reverence the forms doctrines & ceremonies of the Episcopal Church. In short it was a moral inflammations of the bowels, a cholera of the conscience. Friend Hunt, Cincinnati Aug 16, 1842 I rec'd your letter of 2nd yesterday morning [Aug] & has ten to reply both because some time had elapsed since I last wrote & be cause I want to communicate to you as one friend ought to another, the great change which has taken place in my religious sentiments & feel ings within the last six or eight months. I am very sorry to hear that your present situation is so peculiarly unpleasant indeed I can easily conceive that the situation 2nd Clk on a Steam Boat unless peculiarly circumstanced must be anything but enviable. After all, however, you ought to bear in remembrance that the present to mine constituted as ours are is ever devoid of interest & never (no matter what be our real position) appeared otherwise than dull, pain filled & devoid of interest. After all, too consider how little our present position has to do with our real happiness-man lives in the Past & the Future & resembles the thirsty traveller in the desert who looks around him & beholds to all appearance vast sheets of pure, cold, water stretching off on every side whilst the spot immediately before him is but a bank of parched and burning sand. Like the traveller too -- when with baked lips & longing heart he strives to reach the paradise before him, he finds too late that the vision (like the object of pursuit) in a night mare receded as he advanced & discovered to his cost that the elusive mirage is all a horrible demon entity -- Moralising aside my dear friend I think that it is a fault to which you & I are perhaps particularly liable to waste our time in vain regrets for what never can return & which perhaps if it did come back would afford us no gratification--instead of pressing on like the youthful Giants that we are & by industry energy & perseverance they were merely a fear of God in the every day acceptance of the word--a horror of death & judgement--a conviction of my own sinfulness-a terrible fear of Hell & a superstitious belief in certain dogmas as said to be taught in the Holy Scriptures. To these may be added an esprit da corps which led me to love & rev- erence the forms doctrine & ceremonies of the Episcopal Church. In short it was a moral inflammations of the bowels, a cholera of the conscience.the true "Trinity" which a sensible man should worship--carving out independently & virtuously that future to [too] which we look forward with so many (otherwise) unfounded anticipations of delight--Man never uttered a more just or more noble maxim than that noble one of Crock- ett's --"Be sure youre right--then go ahead"-on those 7 words hang all the Law & the Prophets of real Life--Economy, industry, virtue & temperance will as surely raise a man to wealth & honor as the water is certain to buoy up the ship that floats upon its bosom--"Hem's my sentiments" my dear Friend & provided you follow that course & let liquor & little French whores alone (those two rocks on which half Mankind split) you will with your talents infallibly make yourself certainly respected & probably wealthy--I do not think that your present situation is by any means a desirable one in any point of view--but as you are in it--I would give it a fair trial before I left it & would not do so until I had obtained some more desirable place that was likely to be permanent--Be not offended at my thus offering advice to one older & wiser than myself for be assured that my doing so is solely the result of deep anxiety for the welfare of one whom I remember with more affection than I do any other acquaintance that I have ever possessed--Why this is so I cannot God knows tell but somehow it appears to me that you appreciate me better than most others--that you almost alone have seen that I too was not entirely the coarse, idle, trifling fool that I appeared--that my feelings were deeper & truer than those of most of these d__d "Forked Radishes fantastically carved" as Carlyle called mankind in that most eccentric production of a most splendid genius "Sartor Resartus" or the philosophy of clothes--Have you ever read it? If not try & get it & give me yr opinion of it I am sorry to hear that yr naval heaven is so overcast--but I hope that your prognostications of failure will not be realized & that Uncle Upshur will yet direct a letter to "Midshipman S.C. Hunt--U.S.N--As for my own business I take great care not to suffer my mind to rest for a moment upon what is to my mind very evidently the mere "ghost of a chance" My application was sent on to Washington about a week ago & contained a letter of application to the Sec. two letters of rec- ommendation to the department from influential citizens & 1 ditto from Gov. Corwin--which are to be personally presented by the representative of our district Mr. Pendleton--Also Mr Henderson another representative will call upon Sec. Spencer & do what he can--This is all I have been able to do thus far--but as I said before I shall have the consolation of knowing that I have done my uttermost--And now as to the change in my rel- igious opinions or rather as to the total overthrow of all I ever possessed, I hardly know how to begin or to tell you by what successive stages one point of belief was swept away after another until I was reduced to that noblest, brightest, purist form of belief of which the human mind is capable--simple Deism or how even that gave way at last & in bitterness of spirit I was compelled to exclaim with Shelley in his noble poem of "Queen Mab" "There is no God"--The change with me was so gradual extending as it did over many months that far in- deed had I advanced in what I conceive to be a proof of emancipa- tion from the shackles of superstition ere I was aware that I hadbudged an inch from my old automaton belief--But as well as I can & in the hope that I shall not be tedious I will attempt to sketch the circumstances of my "lapsus credulitatis"--When I came down to College in the fall of 1840 I was & had for some time been under the influence of that strong superstitious excitement so natural to the heart of Man & so often mistaken for & confounded with the far holier & nobler prin- ciple of religion--The very lax practical morality of lamented Kemper soon as you very well know to some extent modified my would be sanctity & in everything but abstract opinions soon made the very opposite of "the Christian character"--And here let me remark that my religious feelings when I first came down to Kemper were not such as could withstand the volley of temptation & rid- icule poured down upon them by our merry jovial & very anti-religious "Fresh men-- The were not calm conscientious rational convictions of duty such as we involuntarily respected even whilst we derided them in Dunn--Tis short [*H.B.B. to S.C Hunt 1842*]budged an inch from my old automatic belief--But as well as I can & in the hope that I shall not be tedious I will attempt to sketch the circumstances of my "lapsus credulitatis"--When I came down to College in the fall of 1840 I was & had for some time been under the influence of that strong superstitious excitement so natural to the heart of Man & so often mistaken for & confounded with the far holier & nobler principle of religion--The very lax practical morality of lamented Kemper soon as you very well know to some extent modified my would be sanctity & in everything but abstract opinions soon made the very opposite of "the Christian character"--And here let me remark that my religious feelings when I first came down to Kemper were not such as could withstand the volley of temptation & ridicule poured down upon them by our merry jovial & very anti-religious "Freemen --The were not calm conscientious rational convictions of duty such as we involuntarily respected even whilst we derided them in Dunn--I [?] short [*H.B.B. to S.C Hunt 1842*]-pers and owners[?], we pressed them into the service. Glorious times those, but not without its drawback. I lost 25 kegs of Lard for which I paid $70 and would have got 90 for at N.O.! I was paid $50 for services after the wreck, by Insurance Office. but the amount due to me from the Boat, about $100 I have not yet got, and hardly expect to. I am now out of employment and taking it easy. Capt. Saml Houston will probably build at Cincinnati, and if I could find something to do there to pay me expenses I would'ent mind trying it, till the Boat comes out when I could get a situation on her. If you hear of any vacancy likely to occur, and you think I could get it by coming on, write and we will have some fun together.-- Old Kemper is going on tolerably well, about 60 scholars are expected this session. Tobyns is thar, and commences the year with the Freshman Class. Whom do you think the 4th of July Ode or Poem was written by? Old Dunn Just imagine old Dunn writing a Poem. The auditors pronounced it very good, but I have not read it. I have very strong doubts of Old Dunn's capabilities on that score, although he has been made the unwilling subject of rhyme. Do you recollect your two thrilling and beautiful verses commencing with "I love thee, my Tucker the fair maid said." E & A Tracy have failed and little Johnny's pride is considerably lowered. "Our paw" is not half so important a personage as he used to be. Old Crist[?] is till in town, his Brother has also gone to smash.--My Paper and watching time are both nearly out, so I may say Good Bye, with the certainty of having soon to repeat the same to my poor sick friend beside me. [?] Louis C Hunt Single H. B. Blackwell Esqr Cincinnati OhioSingle H. B. Blackwell Esq. Cincinnati Ohio [*L.S. Hunt to H.B.B. SC 1842*]