BLACKWELL FAMILY LUCY STONE June - Aug. 1853 Blackwell, Henry BJune 13 1853 HBB to Lucy Stone I believe some day you ought to & will marry somebody-perhaps not me-if not-a better person - Believe me, the mass of men are not intentionally unjust to women, nor the mass of women consciously oppressed. Tell Elena I found [letter 1 & 4?] written across. Did you have a quotation from thatWalnut Hills Cincinnati July 2 1853 HBB Dear Miss Lucy, Thank you for your good, kind letter. I received it on the 24th, three days after it was written and have been reading it over at intervals ever since. Since I returned from the East I have been quite busy preparing for my journey & attending to business matters which have been accumulated in my absence. At first it seemed quite strange to me, to find myself again in Ohio. The large familiar woods with the beech trees spreading out their branches almost to the ground & the sugar maples with their green symmetrical tops look more beautiful than ever in contrast with the brushy tangled stunted evergreen growth of the East. After all, there is no place like home. The country is fairly parched with drought. For six weeks there has not been a single shower and during three days & nights past the thermometer has been ranging from 85 to 98 in the shade all the time. But when I get out of the dust & noise of the City into our quiet, unpretending, free & easy homestead with its doors and windows all open, surrounded by shade tree, with nobody about but Mother my two brothers and my books, my seven week in N. York & New England seem like a dream & it requires a few little tangible entities like your letter to convince me that I really have been absent. And so, you are probably at this very time, busy with the meagre records of Anne Hutchinson's earnest, enthusiastic, dreary life. I know at present but little more other that I have learned from Bancroft & my school history. My impression of her is that she was a noble, persecuted woman of the true martyr spirit, but too much the victim of delusions & religious monomania to be altogether a heroine. I have supposed her to be wanting in intellectual coherence, real wisdom and balance of character. But I hope I have underestimated her & that I shall someday, through you, learn to place her amongst my august images of Saints and Exemplars. Do you know I quite envy you your position as a lecturer, engaged in the advocacy of great through unpopular ideas. With all its privations & sacrifices, it is an intellectual life & one identified with principles & elevated by them. Above all, it is a useful one, preparing the way for the good time in which you have so devout & beautiful a faith. The very isolation, which your opinions, your occupation, above all your dress necessarily incur, has something to me strangely attractive. In thought as in Nature there is something bracing in the air of solitude. I am myself naturally social in all my tastes and habits. I love even too well the sympathy and approbation of my fellow creatures. And therefore2 I love & reverence the more the motives which lead you to devote yourself to the highest Truth you can attain & to live your own life regardless of all the losses which consistency may entail upon you - Well - perhaps you will ask me - How can you reconcile it to your views - instead of going & doing likewise & spending your few & fleeting years as a preacher of the great church of Humanity - to see month follow month & the irrevocable years go by- & you still engage, like everyone else, in the selfish struggle for material wishes? If you do not ask me that question I am sure I often ask it of myself very seriously - And I sometimes hesitate as to the correctness of my own intention still for at least a year, or two longer to refrain from active devotion to the only things worth living for - My own feeling on the matter is this - I am not yet thirty - Unless some accident shorten my life I may hope to live thirty years more - My general opinions are I presume in great measure matured - Yet I have reason every day to feel that I want wisdom - I find in every question even in this slavery- wheels within wheels- difficulty beneath difficulty- The more I consider it the more complex it becomes- It is easy to say it is wrong, foolish, inhuman, inexcusable- of course it is & we must & will say so. -But how to take the system as it is & do it away? Here is the problem - The American antislavery society has used the sternest denunciations for 20 years - I honor them for it- The hard names are all deserved- It has done them good to say them. But I have seen & known enough of Southern men to feel that this mode of talking does a great deal of real harm as well as good- It does not meet the point- The prejudices of ignorant & excitable persons born & brought up in contact with the institution are embittered not softened- They feel keenly that the negro, as he is, is not their equal, is not likely to make a judicious use of freedom- they know that practically (human nature being better than the statute book) there is a great deal of happiness amongst many of their "servants" as they prefer to call them- their interests, habits, tastes, modes of living are all involved, & they cannot receive as just, or friendly the severe censures of abolitionists- The absolute truth of these censures give them point & sting, but does not carry conviction- When they come North too, they see, as strangers, the worst features of our society- They see in all our towns & cities the working classes the actual producers, in a state of very complete & real servitude & degradation. But as is their condition, they exaggerate its evils & honestly though very illogically exclaim- "It is only a choice of evils after all"- Now dont think I am going to turn apologist for slavery- I hate it as the worst form in which the Devil has ever incarnated himself in society- I feel bound to loathe it 3 & fight it & work against it- But still, to do so effectively & justly- we must adapt ourselves to it as it really is & not as it abstractly appears- We should avoid unnecessarily awakening the prejudices which unavoidably exist & endeavor to produce conviction in the minds of people whose very life is so different from our own- Am I prepared as yet to grapple with so vast a problem- And it is not only so with slavery, but with intemperance, above all with the Woman question greater than all & more difficult therefore than all- It is very easy to take sides & fight against, or even for, them in the spirit of a partisan- But how difficult it is to meet them in that of a philosopher! Now all this feeling of diffidence on my part is to some extent a damper on my desire to go right to speaking & lecturing as a profession- It makes me feel very strongly that when I do- I must take a position altogether independent- I must be free to speak just where when & what I think best- To do so & to study as one ought, so as to think first & speak afterwards, requires the command of ones own time & action- in other words pecuniary independence, the basis of that- Now, after a good many years of hard work, (for my father died a stranger in a strange city, leaving a widow & nine children accustomed to comparative luxury & entirely destitute), I have attained a position in business, where, in every human probability, in three years more I can realize such a position & meanwhile fulfil my private duties to relatives & friends whose comfort & position are linked with mine- Am I right, or am I not, when I decide to continue these three years as I am, in opposition to my wishes, to my character, to my ambition? I wish you could tell me Miss Lucy - for I declare I sometimes get a little puzzled myself- This is why, amongst other reasons I told you when you gave me your reasons against marrying that I had at present noting to say. nothing to ask- When I have settled my own course of life, it will be time enough to invite one who, in her own case, has already done so, to share it- Before that time it would be premature if not worse- For I quite agree with you, that a connection which would be inconsistent with the most efficient prosecution of our highest aims ought never to be formed- However in other respects desirable, it would be on the whole degrading & could never confer real & permanent satisfaction- I hope you will believe me when I say, that I should consider it a crime on my part & a misfortune on your's, if I could undertake & succeed in mesmerising you, (as you charged me with, once) into any such an attachment- Such is not the marriage I would form. My idea of the relation involves no sacrifice of individuality but its perfection- no limitation of the carreer of one, or both but its extension- I would not have my wife drudge, as Mrs. Weld has had to do, in the house, while I found nothing onEarth to do but dig ditches_ I would not even consent that my wife should stay at home to rock the baby when she ought to be off addressing meeting, or organizing a society_ Perfect equality in this relation (as in every other one where human beings are concerned) I would have_but it should be the equality of Progress, of Developement, not of Decay_ If both parties cannot study more, think more, feel more, talk more & work more than they could alone, I will remain an old bachelor & adopt a Newfoundland dog or a terrier as an object of affection_ Perhaps you will say that in the present state of Society such an Union is impractical_ This is where I think you err_ Remember that neither you, nor anybody else ever can nor did lecture five times a week ten months in the year & spend the other two in compiling fresh ones always. This is one chapter in your book of Life_ It has already lasted some years_ It may last a good many more, but like all other chapters, even the longest, it will come to an end_ I do not mean to say you will ever cease to speak in public, at least till you grow old; I hope you will not_ But such excessive & continuous labor of one kind will give place to a more varied & different sphere of duty_ Perhaps you may write more & speak less_ Besides your voice may fail, you may no longer feel the same impulse to speak_many contingencies may happen_ I say all this, not to renew a subject which may perhaps be unpleasant to you, but simply to explain my position & my feelings when I say I am perfectly willing to see you pursue just what course you deem proper & fitting on this as well as every other subject_ only requesting you to keep clear of the laws of the old Medes & Persians & give me a fair chance in the long run_ I spent an evening a few days since at Mrs Ernst's_ the lady who may be called the Alpha & Omega of Cincinnati anti-slavery_ She has since left for the East & I hope will meet you_ I told her that I had made your acquaintance & was very desirous that you should come to Cin'ti & lecture this Fall_ I find that Mrs E. is desirous of getting a woman speaker to come out at the time of the anti-slavery bazaar & has invited Miss Holly, but has not rec'd any definite reply from her_ If she decline, Mrs Ernst will try to get you to come I think_ Should she do so, you would do well to accept as the time, (October next), is the very best in the year for lectures here & the society paying expenses, I think we could get you up an independent course of lectures which would be well attended_ If Miss Holly comes_you will probably do so afterwards however without much detriment_ Should you come to the West, Mother & Sisters, two of whom will probably be here, will hope to have you make our house your home while here_ I took occasion this morning while conversing with an intimate friend of mine here, Judge Matthews a free soil man & one of our most talented young lawyers_ to enquire of him the of a friend who had thought somewhat of studying it_ I think his opinion is entitled to a great deal of weight & if you, or Mrs. Stanton, or any other capable woman ever wish to study, I think we might find here respectable lawyers with whom to read & a liberal set of people to admit afterwards, I have made one or two enquiries but have not yet been able to hear of any Miss Adeline Jane Dwight School teacher, whose foolish letter you told me of_ There is no such name in the City Directory_ I find that here in Ohio our laws with regard to married women though in the main founded on the same unjust basics as elsewhere are in some respects more liberal_ The right of a husband to use personal coercion is I believe disallowed_ Divorces are granted not only in adultery & Bigamy, but also for fraudulent contract, willful absence of 3 years, cruelty, gross neglect of duty, 3 years habitual drunkenness & for imprisonment for crime_ All such divorces are total & the wife where the husband is to blame retains alimony & I believe dower_ Generally too in cases of Divorce the Courts award the children to the party not in fault_ though the general principle prevails that unless such an award is made the father's claim is paramount_ I see too in Mansfield's Rights of Woman" a Connecticut Court has decided against the husband's right to the custody of his wife & that it has been finally decided in New York that a husband could not take away his minor daughter from his wife even where the divorce rested on the wife's own refusal to accompany him to Nova Scotia to live_ I hope you will forgive me for this long letter_ On the 5th July I set out into Indiana & Illinois to be gone_ seven weeks_ If the spirit move me I shall write to you again after awhile_ & as I shall pay the postage, you can burn them if you dont have time to read them & either answer them or not as you feel inclined & have liesure_ I have just finished reading Plato's Republic_ In his 5th & other Books you will find his ideas of women, which are a queer mixture of good sense & folly_ Hoping this hot summer is not quite so oppressive to you in Massachusetts as here & that you may find time to do also a great deal of study I remain dear Miss Lucy_ Your friend Henry B. Blackwell5 probability of a woman's being admitted to the Bar here if she applied & was properly qualified & of her being able to obtain practice afterwards_ He says that he thinks there would be no difficulty in getting admission. That while on the Bench a year or two since a woman applied & presented a certificate from Gholson & Miner, very respectable lawyers of this City that she had studied at their office & was duly qualified_ He said he was himself consulted & he gave his opinion that she had a perfect right to an examination as the law contained no reservation or description of sex & she was of course a citizen_ As to the other point_i_e_ getting practice_ he said he saw no insurmountable obstacles_ none indeed but the general prejudice of community_ This however he thought would be found exceedingly strong_ much more so indeed than in the case of women physicians_ there being in that profession an especial adaptedness to woman which the law did not seem as a general rule to offer_ He thought & I think with reason, that very few women would consult a female lawyer_ owing to an absurd confidence which they generally not unnaturally feel in the superior ability and information of men_ That this would be so I have no doubt, for Elizabeth finds in this prejudice amongst women themselves, the main difficulty she has first to overcome_ Altogether his opinion was that the study of law would be a most admirable & desirable one for women_ the admission to the Bar a feasible thing & the practice of law a possible one, but offering many great difficulties, & very slight inducements to its practice_ The lady, I spoke of above, did not press her admission, has since married & the matter therefore, in her case, was not brought to a decision_ Of course I mentioned no names & only consulted Judge Matthews on behalf (over!) P.S. I find that here in the West as everywhere else, Mr. Garrison's connection with the "anti-Bible Convention", as it is called, in offering those resolutions is very bitterly commented upon_ Unless such conventions in future can be so got up or managed as to take more positive & distinct ground, I think, as the request of sober thought, after attending the last, that they will do more harm than good_ I think Mr. Garrison's resolutions are true, yet I confess they were & are a source of regret to me_ Nothing is gained by these sweeping attacks upon the Clergy nor on the Bible_ No principle is involved & I think they do harm_ dont you?_ Walnut Hills August 24, 1853 Dear Miss Lucy Your kind letter was the first thing that greeted me on reaching home early yesterday morning_ I had followed the Wabash to its mouth & taken steamboat at Evansville for Cincinnati which I reached at daybreak_ As the light began to dawn I walked out & upon entering my room found the little yellow treasure with its familiar postmark & well known handwriting_ I say familiar & well known because I had carried your first one with me on my travels as a sort of talisman & kept it always about me, so that, as you may suppose, I can testify to your handwriting hereafter if it should ever be necessary_ In the course of forty days however my "talisman" began to show some slight signs of delapidation in spite of my care & I am very glad to be able to replace it by a new charm of equal potency_ Whether the credit is due to any majical virtues of your first letter, or not, I can't say, but I certainly enjoyed most excellent health all the time of my absence & in spite of the great heat returned weighing some eight or ten pounds more than when I saw you last & indeed in every way more comfortable than I felt while in the East this spring_ The reason I did not write to you while away was not because the spirit didnt move, but because I was fearful you would think it an infliction to receive another one so soon_ Several times I was on the point of doing so & refrained from the feeling_ "If I bore Miss Lucy with any more letters for awhile, she will regret having answered me at all"_ But about two weeks after I left home I visited that little village of Bellville, concerning which you entertain so paradisaical a reccollection_ As soon as I got through with my business, I left two companions with whom I was travelling, & walked down the National road to "Uncle Jemmy Egan's"_ I found the old gentleman outside the house & asked him if he remembered two ladies who stopped several weeks at his house three years ago, one of whom was so sick_ He welcomed me very heartily & carried me in to see his wife "Aunt Ann" who no sooner learned that I had seen you in Mass: this summer, than she made twenty enquiries about Mrs Stone & yourself, particularly to know whether you were either of you married yet, or likely to be so_ Both the old folks seemed to have a very kind & pleasant remembrance of you & gave me all the details of your illness_ taking great credit of course to themselves for their excellent nursing & attention_ Aunt Ann took me into the innerroom & showed me the identical bed & bedstead which you occupied & the one Mrs Stone used_ I expect everything looked about as it did & I surveyed the whole apartment with a great deal of interest_ They sent all sorts of kind messages by me & wished me to say that their adopted daughter, a little girl, when you were there, is grown up into quite a young woman & they particularly want you, if you ever come west, to pay them a visit_ Also when I was at Hutsonville, some two weeks ago, I found several who were well acquainted with your brother & his wife & remembered you well. Amongst others I met Mr Draper and Mr. - the former was in your brothers employment I believe & lived at his house_ the latter was your brothers' partner_ They have just entered into partnership together & have a store on the bank of the river_ Mr. Draper sends word to Mrs. Stone that all her friends are well_ His own family is one larger than when she last saw him, but no other news_ I spent altogether nearly a month in Illinois which is uncommonly healthy this summer_ I think this was probably owing to the abundance of fruit, which was surprizing_ As we travelled along we gathered blackberries, gooseberries & plums wild & apples & peaches to any extent_ I think that the country back from the river is much more healthy than the valley & it is improving & settling up with a wonderful rapidity_ After all I think there are a good many worse places than Illinois_ Should you visit it a few years hence you will hardly know it_ But I am glad to get home to Ohio_ With the exception of ten days interval here, I have been travelling since the 1st of May & need rest_ I shall not have much however, for our busy fall season is just approaching & my customers are daily coming in_ Somehow like most active people, I always am kept much busier than I would wish to be!_ How I wish I could be present at your two glorious meetings in New York next month_ But I cannot be, so I shall watch the papers with great interest for accounts of proceedings_ If I possibly can though, I mean to be at Cleveland on Oct. 4. to attend the woman's convention there & I hope I may meet you at that place_ But I think it is too bad that you should be in Cleveland without at least visiting Cincinnati & I hope that we shall get you down our way yet_ I really do not see why Miss Hollie's coming should in any way affect your movements either way & I hope we may somehow manage to have you come_ Mrs Ernst has returned to Cincinnati I am told but I have not yet had time to go out to her house to see her_ We have just had a very interesting slave case here_ the first since 1850 in Cin'ti_ It was taken before Judge McLean to test the constitutionality of the fugitive law_ As might have been expected from a man who has cherished aspirations for the Presidency, he decided that the law was constitutional & remanded the fugitive to bondage_ His master however has offered to take somewhat less than the "market value" of the "chattel" & to subscribe $50. himself towards the sum & a subscription has been raised to purchase the man's freedom_ I am sorry that our City has been thus degraded_ Still more sorry that the devilish law has been thus endorsed, when will an American Judge Mansfield prove equal to his responsibility & win a glorious immortality by a contrary decision_ This shows what the anti-slavery of such men as Judge McLean is worth! I suppose you have seen too, the persecution & outcry lately got up here against Peter Clark, a young colored man, lately a teacher in our common schools, of great intelligence & unblemished character_ He was present some time ago & made a speech as a commemoration of Thomas Paine's birthday_ a few colored men set on by some bigots, petitioned for his removal_ The great mass of colored people opposed it_ The school board dismissed him _ The committee on colored schools resigned their offices in disgust_ A meeting of colored people unanimously requested his restoration_ Peter Clark wrote to the board a very manly & magnanimous letter disclaiming all desire to be made a bone of contention, announcing that he was not a candidate for the position of teacher having made other arrangements for a livelihood & proffering his services in any way, should they be wanted, at any time, in assisting the new teacher in the arrangements of the school_ You ask what I think of Com. Morton's decision? I think it the legitimate "reductio ad absurdam" of that school of Constitutional expounders, who go behind the spirit & objects of the instrument as expressed in the preamble & the straight-forward language of what follows to foist in their place a traditional & contradictory meaning into the whole, giving it a pro-slavery signification at variance with justice & common sense_ My criticism applies alike to "compromizers" & "Garrisonians". Admitting that the persons held to service & labor were meant to embrace slaves & thereby that that clause conflicts with the express guarantees of personal freedom contained elsewhere, I conceive that in as much as the inconsistency compels the sacrifice of one part, or the other, we have as good a legal right to drop the fugitive clause as the personal guarantees_ Above all, I consider government a necessity_ a voice in its administration a natural right_ But as government has & can have none but delegated rights & as the people cannot delegate a right to commit an injustice, which individually they never possessed_ therefore the Constitution & every other form of law so far as it conflicts with justice is not binding & in swearing to obey it, I do not & cannot swear to carry out any such usurped & iniquitous provision_ But I am not bound to forego my political rights, nor absolved from my political duties (which are derived from Nature, not the Constitution) until less scrupulous men are induced to rectify all the imperfections of the existing frame of government_ On the contrary, I am bound to use my vote, so as to protest against the injustice, so as to influence its amelioration & removal_ Such is my theory of the duty of the legal Citizen towards the oppressors & the oppressed_ But I feel every day more forcibly howcomparatively unimportant are the differences between earnest reformers & how unspeakably more wise it is to agree to differ where we must & to work together where we can_ How melancholy_ nay, how mean it seems_ when two noble, honest, earnest anti-slavery men like Phillips & [Maun?] permit a friendly controversy on a question of personal duty (which, as you truly say, "every one must settle for himself") to degenerate into personal bickerings & innuendos_ As a friend & admirer of both, I was sorry to see it_ as an anti-slavery man I am still more sorry_ It is the old story of Paul & Barnabas in a new edition!_ For myself I have a horror equally of fanaticism & eclecticism_ I am not willing to look at the world solely through anti slavery or temperance, or womans rights, or scientific spectacles_ Nor am I willing to shrink from looking straight at it through each & all these_ I think a wise man should be a many-sided fanatic_ Dont you?_ I think you misunderstood my remark about Mr. Garrison & the Hartford resolutions_ I did not regret his offering them because they are unpopular, but because they are so worded as to be misapprehended & to convey a false impression_ As he means, & we understand them they are true, but not as they strike the mass of readers_ The clergy, as a body, should not be held up to odium_ because they do not especially deserve it_ They are men, no worse, perhaps a little better than the average, but placed in a difficult & as I think, an unnatural position_ They are themselves like all of us honestly imbued with a thousand prejudices_ They have a direct personal stake in the favor of the public_ Popularity in their congregation is "bread & butter" to them_ Can we blame them then, above others, that they are timid amongst the timid & the victims of their own & others' prejudices_ I confess I dont believe personalities are either altogether wise, just, or useful_ Principles, not men should be the subject of advocacy & attack_ Now every body must ask for themselves_ But there is a wise discretion to be observed as to the time, place & manner of action & of speech_ When Henry C. Wright commences a speech by saying that "people say God commanded Abraham to offer up Isaac_ They ask him "what would you do if God commanded you to offer up your son?_ Would not you do it?" "I answer No!" said he "but I'll tell you what I would do. I would lay God on the altar & cut his throat."_ Now, so far as I am concerned, such a mode of speaking does not shock me_ I understand his meaning & enjoy the rough & absurd energy of the figure_ But I consider the expression in bad taste_ I see it defeats altogether the only object of speaking_ viz. the promulgation of one's own opinions_ I cannot afford to make war upon actual error entrenched behind a mass of unneccessary misapprehension which I have myself furnished to my own detriment_ A wise speaker should always adapt himself, for the time, to the character & prepossessions of his hearers_ Now, am I then wrong in thinking that Mr. G's resolutions are provocative of unneccessary & irrelevant prejudice_ If so, my regret is unwise_ if otherwise it is well founded_ Dont think dear Miss Lucy that I suppose we can avoid altogether being misapprehended_ Being finite we cannot_ But I believe that were we sufficiently wise, we never should be so_ To my mind the fact that he was misapprehended & crucified, while it elevates Jesus to be the eternal King of Martyrs. '& leader of humanity_ proves notwithstanding that he was not the Incarnate God_ nor if I thoroughly knew the state of each individual mind & could show it plainly wherein it was wrong_ conviction would be inevitable & conversion achieved_ As to the Bible Conventions, they may be, with all their great defects, the only, means of doing away with Bible-worship_ If so, I will go in for them heartily_ But I have some doubt of it_ It seems funny to me to find myself thus, in my letters to you, taking apparently a semi-conservative position_ I assure you I am in my temperament & impulses singularly devoid of caution I am looked upon by all my acquaintances as a thorough-bred Radical_ & so, thank God, I am! But it is easier to be wise on paper than in life, is it not? I am glad that you sympathize with my theory of equality in marriage_ I knew you would do so, of course but still it is satisfactory to hear you express it_ But your lady friends were not far out, when they said "no man would ever submit to such a marriage"_ In practice a minority I think might do so, but in theory scarcely any_ The idea of a loving & protective superiority is ingrained in men_ They do not thereby suppose any conscious oppression_ but regard it as a fixed fact than women do not & cannot desire absolute equality in the active affairs of life_ This summer, I have been travelling in a carriage with two business friends_ Every day we discussed anti-slavery & woman's rights_ The former to a certain extent they could accept_ But the whole womans movement they could not swallow at all_ My idea of marriage especially struck them as ludicrous & unnatural_ Yet both are honest, intelligent & affectionate & will make excellent husbands_ For women, like men, in that stage of development, are incapable of appreciating the gospel of individualism & the glory of mental & material independence_ I believe nineteen women out of twenty would be unhappy with a husband who, like myself, would repudiate supremacy_ The proof of my opinion is that the great majority of people, in endeavoring to imagine a contrary state of things, conceive of the woman as the leader & the man as the subservient_ Of course if there is to be a head to the family, while women are actually so inferior in development of mind, no man can think with patience of playing the "hen-pecked husband"_ Hence the inveterate prejudice you have to contend with_ Practically, the superior woman does oftentimes take the lead of the inferior husband & must always do so_ But this to my mind is simply just as bad & no worse than, the opposite mismatch_ But analyse the opposition to our view_ it is based on an apparent incapability of understanding absolute equality between the sexes on the part of most people_ Where there is no subjection on either side there can be, of course, no degradation, or conflict of dignities_ I have an intimate friend, a book seller of this City, a young man of fine mind & wonderful energy of character_ a strong anti-slavery progressive thinker_ He married a year ago a lady of most beautiful, amiable character but of an intellect not at all comparable with his own_ He seems perfectly satisfied & happy_ We often talk on this question of marriage_ he differs from me_ He thinks it is dangerous for two persons of strong mind to marry_ that the great requisite is the possession of opposite qualities for the supply of each other's deficiencies_ that while a certain unity of sentiment & sympathy of opinion is desirable_ too much resemblance on the whole is very detrimental to the happiness of married people_ He laughs at me for my too high ideal_ He says I shall never marry in the world, for I shall never find a woman who will come up to my standard. Now I have felt for years the most imperious necessity for marriage_ At times I think I must quit dreaming & get a wife_ But when it comes to the point, I find that I cannot forego my ideal_ Equality with me is a passion. I dislike equally to assume, or to endure authority_ But the great difficulty in realizing a true marriage after you find the right persons is that all the arrangements of society are made for the average convenience_ & fetter a woman with household cares & ties, while they impose on a man the whole burden of acquiring subsistence _ I confess I see no hope of making the future of women as a sex what it should be, except by household association_ So long as our present system of isolated families is maintained married women will be greatly precluded from public & professional pursuits_ And indeed when I consider how degrading& unworthy all human pursuits not strictly scientific or literary now are, I do not feel any great anxiety to see many women undertake them_ I feel so thorough a contempt for the whole sphere of business & am so desirous of getting out of it, that I am not able to get up any enthusiasm at the prospect of female merchants or merchants clerks_ I do indeed want to see the scope of women's employment enlarged; so that they may be better able to support themselves, when neccessary, but it is only as a choice of evils_ You say in your letter that you never expect to give up lecturing & speaking but from death or old age_ I certainly hope you never may, unless for some even wider sphere of action_ As a writer if favorably situated, you might perhaps reach even more minds & inconnexions with occasional public speaking be even more efficient_ Such a position, with the ear of the public, is a grand one but somewhat difficult to attain_ I hope to reach it someday through the medium of a widely circulated western newspaper_ But surely you never did me the injustice to suppose that I could desire, under any circumstances, that you should with draw yourself from public effort_ Had I been Count Albert of Rudolstadt, I should have desired Consuelo to remain upon the Stage from my love of Art_ How much more should I desire that the glorious gift of eloquence which you certainly possess should not be withdrawn from the advocacy of great & unpopular truths to be wasted upon a few, however dear_ It would be like buying some beautiful spot of Nature hitherto the resort of hundreds & fencing it in with "no admittance" & "spring guns" placarded in true "dog in the manges" fashion_ But for myself I dont see why, in order to do good, you should find it neccessary to treat yourself a great deal worse than the Southerners treat their negroes, by depriving yourself of entrance into those personal relations which as you yourself acknowledge are a want of our nature & which I regard as a duty of our very organization_ If this true idea of marriage cannot be realized, what is the use of having it? How can it be so eloquently preached as by living it out in practice_ You speak of marriage to those in it_ They may say to you with reason, as they have said to me_ "you never have been married, or you would not so regard it_ You know nothing about it"_ Your idea of the duty of sacrificing the lower to the higher I fully approve_ But I think you estimate too low the sacred law of the Affections, which Theodore Parker places with reason above the intellectual faculties yes & above even the moral sense_ I, at first, thought Parker erred in setting the affections above the sense of right & wrong, but on reflection I agree with him_ I think you are very right in saying that it is absolute madness to enter into marriage until you know thoroughly the whole nature of the other party_ So I think, too_ But if that nature possess the genuine affinity_ are circumstances so satanic that marriage involves the withdrawal from public life?_ I do not see that_ A woman unsuitably married like Mrs Stanton may find herself fettered_ or in difficult circumstances like Mrs Weld formerly_ But a woman who unites herself with a fellow worker with sufficient means & position to prevent the neccessity of her drudging_ free to be at home when she pleases & to leave it when she thinks it best_ with a home of her own to rest & study_ & with friends to relieve her from many responsibilities_ is this a position neccessarilly less influential than your present one?_ I dont wonder at your resolving never to marry_ Situated as women are I think you are wise in omitting the relation altogether from your prospectus of life_ But if in the mysterious Providence of God you ever find the right person, you will have to enlarge & vary your theory to greet the unexpected Advent_ I do not ask you to assume that I, or anyone else, am that person_ I only wish I might prove to be so_ that's all I am glad you like Plato_ I do too, though his arguments are often far from convincing to me_ I like his idea of women in the affairs of state. But I dont agree with him in thinking that the souls of men & women are alike_ simply because, if I did so, I should, on the whole, be compelled to agree with him also in his further statement "that women are in all cases weaker than men"_ Now I do not believe women are really weaker than men except in physical strength for that would be a sort of inferiority_ but I think they are different_ It is said "mind has no sex"_ I am half inclined to believe that it has sex too_ I remember we talked that matter over together & finally came to the rational conclusion that we didnt understand the matter very well_ During my travels I read Consuelo a second time with more pleasure & profit than the first time some years ago_ I do not believe that a male mind could have written that great book_ I also read with great pleasure a volume of poems just come out, by Alexander Smith a young English poet of first-rate promise_ You ought to read it_ I also read several numbers of the Westminster review"_ the strongest & most instructive periodical in the world, which you ought to make a point of seeing_ In the National Era appeared while I was absent a poem of mine written & delivered before our literary Club at 4th July celebration we held at Latonia Springs Kentucky_ I send you a copy of the Era; if you think it worth while read it & tell me whether you like it_ As I originally delivered it, it contained some eight verses in eulogy of Thomas Paine which, to bring it within newspaper dimensions, is here curtailed_ I dont know when I shall publish my little volume of poems_ none of the publishers whom I saw East would print it_ Only some one, or two would even examine it_ It was enough that it was poetry (i.e. written in rhyme), to condemn it_ I may however bring it out here after a while at my own expense- Aug. 26._ Last evening, I called on Mrs. Ernst who has been back about a week_ She requests me to say to you that Miss Hollie after much hesitation had agreed to come to Cincinnati in October (the third week) to speak at the ladies anti slavery bazaar_ This agreement was made on Aug. 1st, only a few minutes before Mrs Ernst had the conversation with you to which you refer_ But on returning to Cincinnati, Mrs Ernst found a letter from Miss H. saying that she had been informed you were coming here & that she should not come_ The ladies' sewing society then had a meeting & resolved that they would have no speaking whatever at their bazaar_ thinking that perhaps it would at any rate absorb so much of thetime & attention during the evening as to retard the sales & injure rather than increase their success_ Mrs Ernst therefore wrote to Miss H. saying that she was under an entire mistake as to your intention of coming out, but that as she had concluded not to come at that time they had altered their arrangements & should have no speakers & told her that if she ever should come to Cincinnati to lecture they would do everything in their power to assist her_ so Mrs Ernst wishes me to say to you that Miss Hollie is not coming this fall_ & if you feel inclined to come out & deliver some lectures this fall, either before, or after the bazaar, there is nothing in the way of your doing so & all will be glad to have you do so_ I hope you will_ I cannot predict with certainty as to your audiences, but if you will decide soon & let me know in time, I think we can get you up a course of lectures on Woman's rights which will be well attended_ If you can fix your evenings, I will at once negotiate for the use of a hall & undertake the business arrangements_ I should try to get the best hall here, if possible, though I think it somewhat doubtful_ If not, as good a one as we can_ It would be desirable to take such steps soon, as our City is a difficult one in which to get good public places_ I think it quite possible that I might get use of the Unitarian Church here & will enquire of Mr. Livermore the pastor, who is a very liberal & good man_ should you conclude to come I will also procure & send you invitations from Mrs Ernst & my mother to make both our houses your home or either of them_ I think, as you will be within a few hours ride of us when at Cleveland, & as Cincinnati is so important a point, you had better come down & give it a trial_ You might make the number of your lectures depend upon the audience & in any event I think you would not find your visit without interest_ I think after receiving such an interminable letter as this, you may spare yourself any apology for your comparatively brief epistles_ I never yet found a friend's letter too long_ may you not be compelled in this case to say otherwise_ Let me know whether you will come to Cincinnati_ if so when & how many lectures will you give_ Be sure & give me also such directions as that I may address you without delay_ Good night dear Miss Lucy & believe me your friend Henry B. BlackwellNew York June 13 1853 Dear Miss Lucy I shall leave here for Cincinnati the day after to-morrow to remain a week or two before setting out on a six weeks tour through the Wabash valley_ You told me you were going to remain at home and study this summer_ Please oblige me by accepting the enclosed translation of Plato_ It is the best one ever made and I suppose, to any one but a first rate Greek scholar in the habit of reading the original, is the best form for study_ Do not refuse my little gift_ It will be such a luxury to me this summer amid the hot & fetid air of Illinois, to imagine you amongst the cool green granite hills of Massachusetts, comfortably chatting with Socrates & his old Greeks, that I shall find the idea a better tonic than quinine & my old enemy the skunk cabbage_ I told Elizabeth that you had not yet seen her book and she desires me to present you with a copy from her_ I think you will like her lectures very much_ If any partiality positions, you will find Society after a period of probation, acquiesce as a matter of course_ Positive action proves itself and always commands respect. The difficulty our new theory meets with is, that people generally, [wanting our ideal, criticize our position by their own low standards of desire & possibility_ I do hope & believe you are gradually awakening their minds & elevating their conceptions_ But the great mass of people will only be convinced by constructive action on the part of women, practically achieving their claims_ Let a woman prove that she can speak, write, preach, edit newspapers, practice medicine, law, & surgery_ carry on business, & do every other human thing_ And if possible let her prove too that she can do each & all of these & be a true woman in other relations also_ If it be true that a woman cannot be a wife & another consistently with the exercise of a profession, it justifies to a great extent the argument of our antagonists who say that very thing_ For myself I protest against this doctrine_ The more high our ideal of life, the more careful we should be against improper ties_ the more dangerous is our experiment in marrying, but still the possibility & propriety of a connection with an equal to ourselves remains unaltered_for her does not mislead me they are full of sound good sense & animated a very noble idea_ As for Plato, I am curious to know how you will like him_ I think a good deal is quite prosy and dull, but still he is full of great suggestions & the very finest intuitions_ The evening I left you I came straight to New York to wind up my Eastern visit_ Yesterday (Sunday) I spent very pleasantly with Mr. & Mrs Weld & Miss Sarah Grimke (Aunt Sarah as they call her_ They live at Bellville N. Jersey some 3 1/2 miles north of Newark on the Passau_ river - a beautiful place shaded by trees & overlooking the water_ On going up to the house with my friend Dr. Durrance we first me the two ladies dressed in the Bloomer costume which I have learned to like of late_ They were surrounded by a dozen children three of them their own, comfortably seated on the piazza reading & enjoying themselves as though Sunday was actually made to be happy in Mrs Weld is a sensible earnest & very intelligent woman_ wide awake and well up to the times_ She has evidently been living not vegetating during her married life_ We found Mr. Weld working in the garden_ a middle aged man with a noble forehead a little bald, clear complexion, a mouth compressed with an expression of firmness & energy and brilliant, piercing eyes full of intellect & fire_ He welcomed me very warmly touching me on a weak point by recognizing my father's face in mine though twenty years had passed, since he had known him_ After dinner we all adjourned to a sort of parlor built in the branches of a pine tree, and I tried to draw Mr. Weld out on the reasons why he withdrew from the active advocacy of Reforms_ He says the immediate cause was a narrow escape from drowning which destroyed his voice entirely_ stopping his public speaking short_ Thus, he says for the first time for years, gave him time to reflect_ He found he himself needed reforming_ He was all wrong_ He had been laboring to destroy evil in the same spirit as his antagonists_ He suddenly felt that fighting was not the best way to annihilate error & that he could no longer act as he had been doing_ All his old opinions & principles began to loosen & scale off_ He threw aside books, newspapers, everything & for ten years found there was nothing on earth for him to do but to dig ditches & work upon his farm_ And so he did so_ I tried to attack his position, but he says it was all right_ That for him, it was no longer possible nor proper to continue combating_ He had done so manfully & when his work in that way was ended he was obliged to resign it to others while he himself entered into a higher sphere of experience_ So since then he has thought & worked and taught his children & occasionally lectured and helped all whom he has met who needed help and in short endeavored to live a true manly life_ This all seemed very strange to me_ I tried to argue the duty I think if the pursuit of any human professions disqualified me for marriage or any other relation neccessary to the highest developement of the soul, I, as a man, should spurn the profession and prefer eternal exile from the paths of men, to falsehood_ to Nature & Destiny_ But herein I think is the legitimate function of Reason to so organize and construct our circumstances that we may reconcile the conflict of circumstances & duties and be true to our whole nature & live a symmetrical, rational life true to all our faculties_ I hope you will forgive me for this very unintentional digression_ I shall try to steer clear of discussion hereafter and trust to Nature to back my opinions on this, or any other topic_ Knowing as I do how fully your time is occupied, I neither hope nor expect that you will feel after to reply_ If you do, you may make your letter just as short as you please_ I shall consider three words & your signature as more than an equivalent_ Good bye & believe me Your friend Henry B. Blackwell P.S. I see by the Tribune that a Miss Olive Rose of Maine has just been elected Register of Deeds by a handsome majority over a gentleman, her opponent_ Also that on appeal to the Supreme Court, the Judge has given Jane Fraines to her father, a just decision, but containing the rascally statement that an illegitimate child belongs to its mother, a legitimate one belongs to the father in preference, because he has to support it! What a farce this Justice is! H. B. B.of fighting error so long as it existed, but both he & his wife simplify say- "There is a fighting era in everyone's life. While you feel so, fight on, it is your duty & the best thing you can possibly do- But when your work in that line is done, you will reach another and a higher view. But though I can't understand the position of the Welds, I see plainly that in their case they have acted rightly- I dont think it was marriage which is to blame for their withdrawal from public life as so many suppose, but that it arose from a combination of physical, intellectual & moral causes quite independent of it- I wish I had more time to comprehend it- Certainly I dare not criticize too harshly two people so noble & so earnest. If ever there was a true marriage it is their's. Both preserve their separate individuality perfectly & on many points differ heartily with the utmost good will- I do hope you will some day meet them Miss Lucy! You will certainly mark them down on your list as No. 3.- For myself, my battle has yet to be fought & God helping me, I will fight it, as I can. Yet it may be that the Weld's are right - These twenty or thirty brave strong earnest children whom they have educated to work in the Future may make a deeper mark than we can imagine -Theodore's "Thousand Witnesses" produced "Uncle Tom" so says Mrs Stowe- perhaps his ten year's conscientious ditchdigging may eventuate in still more - And I believe that another active era will yet dawn for Mr & Mrs Weld - I hope the great problem of problems "the associative life" will meet their assistance in its solution - Feeling the necessity of a more perfect education for their children, they are about to join the "Raritom Bay Union" and endeavor to realize a life which will be itself an education to all - What a great thing it is to live! When I began this note I intended to write six lines & then stop - But talking to you is like talking to myself & I find five thousand things that I should like to say, but will not - Only this much - You & I have talked frankly together & understand each other - Let me be your friend & write to you occasionally - If, as I believe, your views on certain subjects change, prove your consistency to Truth, by changing with them. If not - stay where you are. In any case, I shall esteem it a good fortune to have known & still to know you - If I know myself my object is not happiness in itself but to live a manly life and to aid every one else to do so - Meantime try actual marriages not by your own standard, but by that of those who are parties to them. You will greatly modify your estimate of it - I believe it is as imperfect as the people themselves no more so - I believe some day you ought to & will marry somebody - perhaps not me if not- a better person - Believe me, the mass of men are not intentionally unjust to woman, nor the mass of woman consciously oppressed - And, just so soon and as fast as you can inspire women to step forward and take higher socialTo H.B.B. Boston, June 21, 1853 My dear Friend I came home last evening and found at the Anti-Slavery office, your valuable and valued gift and letter. Thank you for both. As I have opportunity this summer, I shall be happy to walk in the centuries that are gone with - "the solemn-thoughted Plato," and to owe the luxury to you. I was much interested in your account of the Welds. I have ever felt that they were noble and true to their own standard. That from their standpoint they acted in harmony with their highest convictions, though I never could understand it, and do not now. To me, it is entirely unaccountable how one is struggling in the waves to rescue a drowning child, can leave it to contend alone, feebly, with the devouring elements, saying, "There is a higher life for me than this." They could do it and turn to other and noble duties, and for them I have no doubt it was right. The world may be more benefited by the good, brave children they stopped to rear, than it could have been had they continued in the field. None but "He who sees the seed from the beginning," can know. So each individual, according to the best of his ability must decide for himself. I hope as you suggest, that they will actively aid in settling the question of "associative life." He who finds what true social relations are, will be one of world's greatest benefactors. While I acquiesce in this withdrawal from active life, myself I see no choice but constant conflict - all unnatural - made necessary by the horrid wrongs of society, by circumstances which it will be impossible to change until long after the "grave has laid its coldhonors" over all those who now live. I submit to it as a sad necessity from which multitudes may be saved in "the good time which we should aid in bringing if some now "yield to it." I am willing and happy to do it, and to suffer the loss which must result to my personal, harmonious development. Millions of slaves sighing for freedom; the great soul of Womanhood crushed and degraded; outcast children and drunken parents, should not be left to suffer on because the development of a few weighed more than that of all of these. But I have a bright ideal for the Future where wrong will be subdued, that each man and each woman may give to his own intellectual, moral, and physical nature the fullest, development. Then the song of mortals may blend with that of the "morning stars" and be indeed "only a little lower than the angels." I am much obliged to you for the suggestion to "measure actual marriages by the standard of those who are parties to them," rather than by my own. It is a relief to me. They are not so bad, and do not suffer, being what they are, as I should in their place. The character of the parties, no doubt, has much to do with that of the relation, but the idea of marriage as held by the mass of people is a false one. So they do not rise higher than their own ideas. What you say relative to woman sustaining all natural relations, and business relations at the same time, suggests so much that I must leave it, either for another letter, or for conversation. The rascally statement that a legitimate child belongs to the father in preference to its mother, is a simple fact of law to whicha legal marriage degrades every such mother. Perhaps "the mass of men are not intentionally unjust to women." We shall see when we come to claim and use our equal rights. If the mass of women are not consciously opposed, multitudes are. Your idea of a remedy of the action of society, is true I think. If my "views change on certain subjects change with them." I have been able to do so hitherto, and hope to in the future, but on certain subjects I see no possibility of change however much I might desire it. "May you be my friend and write me occasionally?" The traits of character you have shown me make me glad to welcome you to the rank of friend, and since words from those who mean to live true and good, to impart and to receive, I shall be glad too to have you write me at any time when you are so disposed. After our very frank conversation, you will not misunderstand me here, nor give to this ready welcome of your friendship, and your letters, any other than their true value. I am sorry that the interests of trade take you into those sickly regions. May you be spared their infection. Ever may you find a love of truth and its Author, more to you than human endearments. Sincerely your friend Lucy StoneWest Brookfield July 27-1853 Mr. Blackwell I am glad to learn, from your welcome letter, that you were safely sheltered, at Walnut Hills--and can well imagine how heartily you exclaimed, "there is no place like home," after the changes and chances & weariness, of seven weeks travel and how doubly grateful, in such circumstances, the quiet of your own home.--Your forests seemed more majestic than ever, in contrast with our little woody growth--Your trees are grander, and more beautiful, than ours, but as I always take the side of the weak, especially, if they can not speak for themselves. I am bound to defend our "brushy, tangled, stunted", trees, and to affirm, what cant be denied, that they are a beauty and a blessing, and that with our wild hills, and rocks, and health-giving air, and soft pure water, every child of N. England feels that there is no place like his home--You are now, I suppose in the Wabash Valley, breathing infection, scorched by day, and devoured by mosquitoes at night--I surely do not envy you--Will the associated idea,--the unitary interest of the race, ever make us to find all human good, so near our own vines that we shall not need to go elsewhere, to secure it? I hope so. But a long, weary road lies between this time, and that. Still let us hope for it. You speak, of the good, that comes in a life like mine, notwithstanding its privations and its isolation. The privations I have learned to endure, and the isolation, I scarcely regret; while the certainty that I am living usefully, brings a deep and abiding happiness, which the thorns of the wayside, are not able to destroy. The going to college, (an unwomanly thing) robbed me of many early friends who have never returned;-Garrisonian antislavery Lecturing, made the world be still smaller, and my dress diminished the remnant, wonderfully. But they who remain, through the unpopularity & attrai[??], and the consequent hatred, are the truest of the true. What I have lost in the number of my friends, I have more than made up, in the superior quality of the few who are left. It is better far, to be alone, and be true than to procure companionship by being false; and one can well afford to purchase isolation, if the price, is in life rendered full, [for] and intense, by a worthy purpose--The consciousness of rectitude, is "its own exceeding great reward"--You ask what you ought to do, in the circumstances--I think no one can aid you, to decide. I surely should not dare advise, if I thought you would be impressed by it. You have evidently resolved the question thoroughly, in your own mind, & a real desire to make your life a true one, will I have no doubt, enable you to come to the right conclusion. Allow me however, to say, that I regard [moral] moral independence, as far more needful, than pecuniary independence, though I dont know but it is wrong to inflict so long a letter and illegible hand, upon a business man, but pardon me this time. I will not commit the same offence again.the latter is certainly desirable. How too, one should be careful, lest in the wild struggle for material wealth, he lose the disposition, to aid his fellow, to the gold that does not perish with using--We do indeed, need time to think before we speak, but if we wait until all the difficulties connected with any important movement, are solved, we "shall die and leave our errand unfilled". Wendell Phillips, said, at the first National Woman's Rights Convention. "The ultimate consequences of any great social change, the broadest, and most farsighted intellect is utterly unable to foresee. Ask yourself on all such occasions, if there be any element of right and wrong in the question, and principle of clear natural justice that turns the scale. If so, take your part, with the perfect and abstract right, and trust God to see, that it shall prove the expedient"--As no one can see all the consequences; so neither can he see the whole detail to arrive at those consequences; but he need never be left long in the dark, relative to the step necessary to be taken next. The Anti-Slavery & Woman's Rights Revolutions do not differ, in their philosophy from that of all other Revolutions. They have ever been made successful, simply by a change in the ideas, and feelings, of those who are the object, and the cause, of the revolution-and to ensure this change,a thorough discontent, with the existing way, must be created, and this is done, by depicting it, in all its naked deformity,--calling every crime and every criminal by the right name, And if anger most intense, [or a] wells the bosom of the wrong doer, it is proof that Truth's barbed arrow is fast in the right place, and his anger is far more desirable, than a quiet indifference--Those who create this discontent, must be hated:--almost all will deem them too severe and denunciatory, while the contest is waging; but posterity will marvel, that the censures fall so far behind the dreadful reality. When by their persistent fidelity, Public Sentiment begins to change. Harriet Beecher Stowe, can take the audience they have made for her, and secure their assent, and affection too. And the thoughtless say, "how much better it would have been, if Garrison had done as she has"--They do not recognise the fact, but for the deep and intense interest, he has created in the subject, she would have found no readers. The result of the course that has been pursued, shows that it is the wisest that could have been adopted. If you can get time to look over the history of the last twenty five years and see, how at the commencement of that period, the stillness of death brooded over the whole country, on this question--and now by the faithful application of these very means, all the political parties have been rent asunder;-religious organization divide[d], never to be united, benevolent societies, made accountable to the Anti-Slavery Sentiment--the newspapers driven to discuss the subject, and the whole Nation, making it the subject of earnest inquiry, you will see, that the good has not been, merely t the individual denouncers, but to the cause, by producing a conviction of the collossal wickedness of slavery and the dreadful guilt of the North, in consenting to sustain it. The [destruc] Destruction must always precede, the Construction, and however disagreeable, the noise, & confusion, & rubbish, the old building must be torn down before the new one can be built, on its site. The Builder,and the Destroyer, are both needful, to the grand whole; the one will be loved, the other necessarily will be hated, in his time; but the thankless task, must not be neglected. Horne Tooke, and his associates, were tried for their lives & barely escaped the halter, for their efforts to secure Parliamentary Reform. Forty years after, when the seed they sowed had time to take root, Earl Grey, received the Garter, for executing the purpose, which they toiled to accomplish--Let us not then smite their cheek, who bravely and faithfully performed the unwelcome duties, by which the path, is made smooth for our feet--and remember, that but for them, our softest word, would have been treason, too. Have you seen, how England has consented to the laws of S. Carolina imprisoning her seamen? Surely the Queen is almighty.--Prest. Pierce is likely to make his administration, as infamous by the annexation of Cuba, as that of Prest. Polk by the Mexican War--What do you think of Commissioner Morton in N.Y. [giving] discharging the apprentice ban Order, [his] from the claim of his master, on the ground, th the Clause of the Constitution under which he was taken, applied only to fugitive Slaves? This, at least, will grow out of it, that the meaning of the Clause will be refixed, by competent authority--How strikingly all events seem hastening some crisis, for this Cause! Whatever it may be, I feel perfect quietude; for in any event, good must come to the Slave- But leaving this subject, upon which my deep interest in the Cause has made me dull too long, I fear--Let me thank you for having expressed so fully your beautiful idea of marriage.--So far as you have developed it, it seems to me wholly true. I have been often told by ladies, that no man would ever assent to such a marriage. There were a few I knew, who would. I am glad to add your name to the list--How soon the character of the race, would change if pure, and equal, real marriages could take the place of the horrible relations that now bear that sacred name! When you "have settled your own course of life, it will be time enough to ask another, to share it with you." Yes and it will be all too soon, until a thorough knowledge of each others character, enables you to know whether there is an affinity between you, which can be the basis of a changeless affection. Here I think, is the grave mistake [I think]. Parties do not know each other,- mary, are disappointed, disgusted, and atone for their rashness by a life filled with sorrows. And discords, which affect not them only, but their children On the other hand, when a real marriage is formed by the mutual attraction of two souls, whose "perfect love casts out all fear;--When thought and feeling and hope and aspiration--all of joy, and all of grief, and all of life, are made than gladly shared,--the character of both, will be ennobled, and being developed more harmonising, will secure, not only greater happiness to both, but will make each to be more useful--The difficulty or our difficulty is persons do not find thatLucy Stone real complement, and so, instead of finding themselves able to "study more think more. feel more, talk more & work more," hope is blighted, and the whole being dwarfed --When the circumstances do not allow parties an opportunity for that thorough acquaintance, by which they can know whether or not, there is adaptation [between] between them, it is worse than madness to think of assuming a relation which will put in peril, the happiness, and usefulness, of [of] a whole life, and very probably be destructive of both--Do not think that I regard true marriages, as impracticable. They are so, only as far, as the true idea, is wanting. Wherever one exists, there, center, life's best blessings. But how rarely they are found You ask me "to keep clear of the laws of the Medes & Persians, and give you a fair chance, in the long run"--It would be wrong for me, to allow you to suppose, that I expect a time will ever come when I shall feel released, from the obligations, to pursue my present course of life. The objects I seek to accomplish, will not be attained until long after my body has gone to ashes--While so few can, or are willing, to give themselves wholly to the work, the world so imperatively needs, all the more necessary is it, that the few who can do so, should not falter--You say that "contingencies may happen and so they may, but I can conceive of none, except absolute inability, which can release me--But a worn out life, is not worth giving, or receiving--I know that by this course, some departments of my nature, will not have their full development here, that if this life, were our only space, for the perfection of character, I should then have no right to deprive myself of anything, which could secure that development. But this little life, is to the whole of existence, only as a pinhole, to the whole of space. I believe too, that every individual, will somewhere, in the Ages to come to the fullest development. So it is only a question of time. And if I can wait--"Earth waits long for her [harvest] harvest time: And the aloe, in the northern Clime, Waits an hundred years for its flower. If the aloe, wait an hundred years. And God's times are long indeed, Simple things, as flowers and weeds, That gather only the light and gloom. For what great treasures of joy and dole, of life and death, perchance, must the Soul, Ere it bloom in heavenly peace, find room"?--Pardon the mesmerising work which escaped me, in that strange hour. I gladly acquit you of all such intentions. In passing from this subject, allow me to express the hope that the wants of your large, social, and affectional nature, may be fully met in one who shall be worthy of you, and she will aid you, in realizing your highest idea of a true marriage. I read your sister's book, with a great deal of interest. In its style, and matter, it is worthy of the first woman physician. Its practical character, renders it exceedingly valuable. I sent Elizabeth a note expressive of my high appreciation of it, directed to 44 University Place. Was that right? As t Plato, the wise old pagan, I have not yet found him prosy or dull - How Shrewdly he uses the arguments of others, to confute them! How deeply philosophic! In many things, he is far in advance of the present time. His idea of the equality of women, and men, and their common participation in affairs of State would be scouted by the wise acres of our Constitutional Convention. I have read as yet, little of him; the treat is in reserve. My time has been so divided, by the little details of housekeeping, (as I am "Maid of all wash") and other unavoidable hindrances, that I have not yet half completed my lectures, and have read but very little I had an hour to spare, and so get it to you, but as you will not be at Cincinnati for some time I will keep it until you return. Cincinnati August 20th 1853 Dear Miss Lucy I have just received your note from Albany of 16th postmarked 17th & I write without delay to Rochester, hoping you may receive it there on the 25th or 26th Thank you for your kindness in replying to me while so busily occupied. I will show that I appreciate it by cutting my note short & not trespassing on your time. I wrote to you at West Brookfield some ten days since, but as you probably will not receive it in time I write to reiterate a request therein contained--It is this. I wish very much to see you & have a good talk with you when you are not so fully occupied as you will of course be at Cleveland. You mentioned in your letter of July 17th that you expected to spend Sunday & Monday the 1st & 2d proximis at Niagara. I have long desired to visit Niagara. With your permission I would be there on Sunday morning & unite with you in an exploring expedition among all the grand & beautiful scenes of the neighbourhood--If agreeable to you I might thence accompany you to Cleveland to attend the Convention there. I think you know me well enough to be aware that your consent to my meeting you at Niagara will neither awaken unreasonable hopes of a speedy change of mind on your part nor induce me ever so to feel, or act, as to cause you pain, or annoyance. I am content at present that we should be friends. If my company at the Falls would be pleasant to you say so. If not, do not scruple to say so frankly. For myself I should above all things enjoy the visit in your company & have already taken a good deal of comfort out of it in anticipation. As your plans may have been changed since July and as I should hesitate, without your permission, to intrude myself upon you, I ask you would write me immediately on receiving this whether you will be at Niagara Sunday or Monday & if so, whether I may meet you there. I am very glad youH B Blackwell had an agreeable visit at the Welds. I thought you would like them. Did you ascend the pine tree into that pleasant sky parlor! Mrs Ernst told me yesterday that she had received another letter lately from Miss Hollie, who apparently had not received her previous one. Miss H. appears entirely undecided in her movements. Mrs Ernst again wrote to her that the Ladies Sewing Circle had concluded to invite no one to speak at the Bazaar--but that if she concluded to lecture here we should all do everything we could to assist her. But I cannot see that the question of your coming here to lecture on Womans Rights, has anything to do with that of Miss Hollie's speaking here about Slavery--Surely in a City of 160000 inhabitants on two such different topics, two speakers would not be a superabundance. General Carey is back here. I met him at the Organ office a day or two since whither I went to volunteer my services to speak of evenings & of Sundays, if desired, before our October election, in advocacy of the Maine Law--He spoke very bitterly of the "attempt of the Women & the Abolitionists to break up their meeting"--I told him I thought that his party were entirely to blame & that he had better say as little about the proceedings of the World's Convention as possible--But he does misrepresent the matter shamefully & our papers here have published, so far, only his version--I prepared a simple statement of the facts & our "Gazette" promised to insert it, but it has failed to do so--I am therefore quite desirous that some well known woman speaker, identified with the Woman's movement like yourself, should speak here this Fall to counteract the false impressions of the movement which ignorance & misrepresentation have produced-- Hoping you may receive this in time to write me a line with reference to Niagara I remain dear Miss Lucy Your friend Henry B. Blackwell P.S. My Mother & sister Ellen are both now at home. Marian has determined to remain East a few weeks longer--