Blackwell Family
Lucy Stone  


Jan March 1855
Blackwell, Henry BCincinnati Jany. 10, 1835
My own Lucy,
I wrote on Saturday last
A second letter to Bangor Maine and
now, as directed in your last letter
dated Boston, I write to the old address.
Were I writing to anyone but you I 
should be at a loss for anything to say.
I have very little external news to 
communicate, but somehow I never
am at a loss for something to say in
writing to you, because I think of
you continually and can find 
something within to write about.
Let me first say however that I
have rec'd another letter from Anna
relative to coming to England, which 
I will forward in a day, or two. She
says that she has conversed with 
Cousin Sam, who expresses great
want of a partner & great wish to 
see me_ His business is one of 
the most extensive in England &
would offer a great opening, if my
ambition would run in that line.
I am not sure but that my true path
may lie in business. It is a very low 
& mean object of thought this
mere material pursuit of wealth, but
my natural & acquired disabilitiesfor a more intellectual carreer are
such that I should probably fail in 
achieving eminence elsewhere_ Now
to excel in the most common & merely
temporary human avocation, provided
only that I be useful & necessary (as
business is) is to my mind better & more
honorable than to achieve mere respectable
mediocrity in a higher one _
"Better to reign in Hell than to serve in Heaven!"
has to much truth in it at least_ Now
I think I can eventually succeed in business
in accumulating wealth & with wealth
how sweet good may be done & how much
power may be exerted_ If I conclude
to reenter business, I want to become
a millionaire, but if I have children
I do not want to leave the money to
them_ at least not all_ Now I 
hesitated a little dear Lucy before
sending Anna's letters to you, because
I feared I was going her injustice in 
so doing_ Anna is really & at heart a
most disinterested and generous person.
Her schemes of aggrandisement are 
not for herself & her hasty, impulsive
expressions are not the real index
of her character_ You once said of me that 
under the hasty & exaggerated expression


at the moment, there is always a
calm, under current & better
statement_ It is pre-eminently
so with Anna_ Superficially, like 
the chameleon, she takes the hue
of the atmosphere around her, but
interiorly she is good, honest, earnest,
affectionate & sensible_ So all her
tirade about "Yankee women" etc etc
you must excuse, as you are kind
enough to do, a hundred foolish
things that I myself write you
every day_ I have replied twice
to Anna, besides writing to Howard
& Emily, since I wrote to you_ I have
told her of my engagement with you &
assured her that a seat in Parliament 
& 10000£ a year, would not tempt
me so much as to postpone our marriage. 
I have added that my impressions &
opinions were unfavorable to a 
permanent change of residence, but 
that I should like to pay England a
visit & would probably do so when
circumstances should permit_ I
have also informed Howard & Emily,
but not cousins, though I intend to
do so when the day is fixed between
us_ Dearest Lucy I do so wish 
that you were with me now_ Everyevening as I sit in our snug, disordered
little parlour with the bright astral 
lamp & the blazing fire & mother
sisters & brothers. I miss one who
would complete the charm & who
is worth more to me than all-
Every night when I lie in bed I 
stretch out my arms for you in
vain & all through the night even 
in my sleep I seem to feel lonely
& comfortless without you- So please
get through those lectures as soon as
you can with comfort & without over
work & let me come & bring you on
to Ohio for a little while- Dear Lucy I
can easily understand why you cant
marry me in Feby., but I dont see why 
you should therefore wait till May-
Why not make it March, or April? You
doubtless wish to attend the Eastern Conventions
& so you can- You will not need to 
miss them & if I can, I will accompany you-
Here is my programme - Marry me either
in Feby, or March- Come out & live with 
me till May-then go East to the anniversaries
afterwards return till July & then East again.
By so doing too, you can help us with our
April anniversary Convention & as we shall
not have Douglass, we shall need your
name to draw audiences as large as we
had last year- But perhaps I am selfish 
in asking you to ride so far & so often for


my sake- If you find Railroad travelling disagree with you do not risk making yourself
sick, but otherwise take the matter into consideration-    I think that the present
probabilities point to New York, or its near neighborhood as our future residence unless indeed
we remain in Cincinnati which seems improbable- I do like the West for its freedom
for its growth, for its present geographical & its future universal greatness- There
is something a little angular, and cold & stationary about the East- It has not the
geniality & sunshine & comfort which the West possesses in spite of its drawbacks-
However if we live in New York, we will at least visit the West often & I will
make & own my orchard near Chicago & a good farm, or two in Wisconsin
so as to keep the sense of free Western proprietorship- I fully appreciate
the advantages of Eastern society & culture- There are immense intellectual advantagesin an old Community whose value cannot be overestimated, & above all there are
artistic privileges which perhaps neither you, nor I are likely to value too much_
The artistic side of your nature too dear Lucy, is that which necessarily you have 
rather neglected_ From early position & surroundings & from subsequent
pre-occupation of mind you have rather overlooked the culture of the merely
beautiful_ Hence, you once remarked to me that you "thanked Heaven 
that you were ugly" or something to that effect_ You would not say so now 
dear Lucy_ On the contrary, I know, that for my sake & also for its own, you 
would like to be as beautiful as an Angel_ And so you are, dear, in my eyes 
and if they ever presume to report you otherwise I will shut them up_ Well
I must close, for I have business to attend to_ Good bye_ God bless you_ Yours ever, WesleyBangor Jan. 12  [*(1855)*]

My Dear Harry
I passed through this
place last Monday, and found 
your letters of Dec. 28 & Jan 1. -
forwarded from Boston, and on 
my return yesterday I got yours
with Anna's & Elizabeth's - Today, I 
have not time to tell you how much 
I thank you for them all, and for the
confidence which your sending your 
sisters implies - - But I will write
you fully on Sunday.
Now, I can only say that Sarah 
and I will probably start Westward 
Jan. 22. or 23. I shall go with her 
as far as [?]. You will at 
that time be probably in Wis. I shall 
go to Mich. and will write you from
there. When I can go to CincinnatiI wish we could meet somewhere
before I go to Walnut Hills - On your
return from Wis.[co] is there any
central place where I could meet
you half way, and let us have one
day all by ourselves to talk, and
plan. I shall be at West Blackfield
Jan. 20, but you will not get this
in time to let me hear from you
there. But I will look in the office
at Cleveland for a letter.
    Take good care of yourself, on
that cold trip to Wis. I hope you will
not purchase more land for yourself.
I return Elizabeth's letter for you. I
will send Anna's to Mary. They
may want it at home to answer.
    God bless you my dear Harry, and
help us both to see what is the noblest
life, and then give us grace to follow it.
                        Ever yours,
                              LucyBoston - Jan 18 - 1855
    Dearest Harry - After riding from
9 o'clock yesterday morning, until 8 last
evening, I found myself once more here -
Went first to the Anti-Slavery office, where
I got your letter of Jan. 10 - and many others  
from our friends congratulating me on
our marriage prospects, and sending kind
greetings to you + James + Lucretia Mott, Charles
Burleigh + wife +c. I was glad of them all
but more especially of yours which spoke so
truly to me , as though I was a part of you.
More and more that feeling grows with me,
that we are a part of each other, and I
miss you every where (and feel that something
of mine is gone - I am as anxious as you are
to assume our marriage - and perhaps we
can, earlier than the time I suggested. tho
in that case, I should not think of coming
East to attend the May meetings. I could
neither do, nor get, as much good as it would
cost. I did not want to be in Cincinnati
during your convention. I do not think I can
even speak well there again. I know it is very
weak and foolish, but I cannot help it.
I am glad Douglass is not to be there. He is
so unprincipled and mean, that I cannot
bear to pretend good fellowship, when I feel
none. But we can fix the time of our moving
when we meet. We shall probably start
West, next Monday or Tuesday. I would go
at once to Cincinnati with Sarah if I were
sure that you would be at home. My appointments
in Mich. are not made, and I cango first to Cincinnati if you are there; if not, 
I will go on to Mich. and there we will
plan to meet on your return from Missouri.
I will look for a letter at Cleveland, when I reach
there, and if I find you will be at Walnut Hill,
I will spend next Sunday week with you my
own dear husband. If not, we will arrange
to do so, when we can, and not have it interfere
with business. Do not fear that I shall not
understand Anna. She is much like you
and knowing you, I can interpret her, 
with her high culture, and artistic life.
It is the most natural thing in the world
that she should desire the same excellencies 
in the wife of her brother. And it would be a 
great deal better for him if it could be so.
I know the worth of those things, not as she does, from
possessing them, but from the want of them. But I
have a real desire to improve, and doing the best I
can, with you all to help me, the time may come when
I shall come nearer her ideal, and my own too. I wish
I had a rich and varied culture, with personal wealth
and beauty and every good, but these have been all
outside the rocky path over which I have tolied. I have
very little of that which the world values to carry
you dear Harry,  but such as I have, and all that
have, the unselfish love of an undivided heart
as yours - you will never be proud of my polished
exterior, nor of my brilliant intellect, nor of my high
culture - but in the circle in which you will move,
you will of necessity often feel that I am inferior to
it. You will be pained and your love of approbation
will suffer, many times, because I shall be ever
on the unpopular side of unpopular reforms. Our
moral stand point, and our view of what is intrinsically
worthy of pursuit are so different, that we shall each,
many times feel alone. I have so little literary culture
and no artistic, that in all these subjects, you will
feel surely uncompanioned for I am sadly
deficient. but I will try and surround you with 
those who shall supply what I lack so far as

these things are concerned, and will try as far
as I can to supply the wants of your heart.
But as you said to me, in a letter the other day,
"do not feel constrained to marry me, [with]
even on the day itself, if you can not do so freely."
So I say to you, do not let an engagement or
anything that has passed, make you feel any
obligation to me. I know how much you and your
family have acquired, which I have not. I am
glad for them; it is worth a great deal. I know
that it will be impossible for you not to feel the
difference, and painfully too. I know too that if
we have little ones, it will not be possible for
me to gain much, for many years, in the
respects in which I am so deficient. So dear
Harry, in view of it all, if anywhere, even in the
most silent corner of your heart, there lingers the
faintest wish, that we sustained no relation but
that of friendship. I would infinitely rather it
should all be dropped. It will be for the highest
good of both. I am not writing this on account of
anything in Anna's letter. I love and value her all
the more, on account of her earnest interest in your
welfare. and her wish that you should have a cultivated
wife, is surely sensible. You ought to have. 
But I am not so, and may never become so.
My culture has been mainly of my moral nature.
I want to be situated for the future, where I can
make progress in other respects. Early in our acquaintance
I told you of my deficiencies (perhaps there was no need
they are apparent) - and they have ever been in my
mind, as an objective to our marriage. So my
dear Harry, be honest with yourself, and frank with
me - and let no false sense of honor, or of what
people will say, prevent you from being entirely
true to yourself. [If you feel that] But we will
talk of it, when we meet, and of the business
too. I have thought a great deal of what
will be best. I know that you have agood business talent, and have no doubt that 
in that department, you might "excel," so that
you could accumulate largely, of the treasures
that perish with the using - and that you could 
have the distinction of being called a rich 
man - so. he who makes two spires of grass grow 
where only one grew before, is a benefactor. So he 
who creates wealth, is a benefactor - but there 
are plenty of people who can make money - not 
so many who can bring the world a high
thought, that shall make its immortal past
better: - fewer still. Whose life of sublime 
devotion to the highest right, leaves an example,
which, by it imperishable worth, wins
followers, and so makes the world better, if 
not in money, at least better in morals - 
I hoped that we should be able to give ourselves
to the great moral movements of the age -
But of all this, we will speak when we
must - Let me get a line from you
at Cleveland - or a telegraphic dispatch
left at the P.O. there, to tell me whether
you will be home  next week - and whether 
I shall go at once to Cincinnati - I want
to see you. very much. --- I am glad
Marian will be at home - I want to know 
all your family - I wrote Elisabeth in answer
to her letter, that I sent you.  but so many
visitors called, that the stage arrived before
it was finished, but I sent it as it was _ 
Keep her letter for me.  I will look for the
second from Anna somewhere _ I think you
you will not misunderstand me, or this
letter my dear Harry - If you do, I will make it
all plain when I come to see you _ Very truly yours
my own Harry Lucy

Adrian - Exchange Hotel [*1855*]
 Tuesday - Jan. 30
Here I am dear Harry, and
only wish that you were here, too - After you
left me.  my good friend Dr. Kellogg, who
you saw speaking to me, asked to sit with 
me.  And from Cincinnati to Clyde.  I 
had more or less of his society, which you
know must have been especially agreeable
The cars moved very slowly, and all
the way from Dayton to Clyde we had
two engines and were three hours & a
half behind time - So we lost all the
connections, and had the pleasure
of reaching Toledo at 12 1\2 o'clock at
night - As I went from the cars, to the 
ferry, through the bitter cold, I could
not help contrast it, with the rosy 
comfort of the same hour, the evening
before.  At one o'clock, we were at the
hotel, which was crowded with lodgers
from the various passenger trains, which
had been coming when delayed - So I had
to share my bed with a long lank gossip and
then, more than ever, I coveted the comfort
of the home on Walnut Hills - But I
was tired, and slept well - This morning, I
went to some friends, (brother of James Mott)
[* I read Anna and Emilys letters, while at the depot in Clyde - and
return them now - Emily writes as well as
Anna
and 
could aid herself by
that means*]

and made arrangements to lecture
in Toledo, on Friday, Sat, & Sunday
evenings - Then came on here, and this
P.M. have been out and hired a hall,
&c. &c. for a lecture here on Thursday - I saved
tomorrow for rest.  As I took a slight cold
and my throat is a little sore - I have
found here, very unexpectedly, a whole
score of antislavery friends, who I fear
will fret me more than I should care for.
Every thing promises well, for meetings
here, and at Toledo - I wish your business
were as easily planned as mine - I revolve
the subject, a great deal, but after all,
see clearly only this - that no consideration
should ever make us sacrifice our
spiritual growth, for any material
good - that which is to be part of us forever
must have the higher place - It is much
less important that we be rich in money,
than that we should have real excellence -
Dear Harry, more and more, I long to be
with you - more and more I love you, &
more and more I wish that the days that
divide us were past - I believe that our
life will be rich, in pure affection, - noble
aims, and worthy deeds - Our level of today,
must not be the level of tomorrow, but
upward and onward ever - How much I
wish you were to be with me this evening!
I expect to go to Ann Arbor next Monday -
Write me there - I will write you once more
before you go West - With love for all at home, &
an undivided heart for you.  I am ever your cheri
Lucy Stone -
[*I am taking real comfort in the memory of my visit, with you all -*]

Adrian - Feb. 1st 1855
I wrote you day before yesterday
dearest - and enclosed letters
from Anna & Emily.  and in that
letter asked you to write me at
Ann Arbor - Since that time I
have learned that the smallpox
is in that place, and is very
fatal; - the people are frightened
and it is no time to hold
meetings.  So I shall not go
there at present.- I have written
them to forward any letters that
may come there for me. to Battlecreek
Mich - so that yours will
reach me at the latter place.
For the next [ten days] week you may
send to Battle Creek, after that,
to Detroit - until you hear from
me definitely - I have my first
lecture here tonight - tomorrowI go to Toledo, and remain
over the Sunday, at the pleasant
home of Richard Mitt.  I shall
have time to write you there more
that is in my heart to write - Dear
Harry I do so love you- my heart
warms towards you all the time.
I shall be so glad when it
becomes possible for us to be ever
together!  I want to be with you -
and am half disposed to drop
or rather not make appointments, 
for many meetings here.
abouts - and be married at
once - and then go with you to
Wisconsin, and while you go to
see that land, I will lecture in
Milwaukie, & Madison- O no!
that never will do.  I had better
hold the meetings, as I at
first proposed - But my heart
yearns towards you all the time.

so deeply, - so intensely - and only
pray this deep earnest love may
last forever - Dearest I cant
write.  I am at a private home,
and three lady visitors are in the
room, other company is just
now coming in, and two children
are trying to show me all their
playthings, so you must
understand what I would
write. and wait until next
Sunday - give much love to
the friends at Walnut Hills -
and be sure that for yourself
the largest and warmest
room in my heart is all for
you - dearest -
Ever yours
Lucy[*Harry*]

Cincinnati Feby. 6. 1855
Dear Little Lucy!
I hope you wont be offended
by the diminutive, which I so often attach to
your name. It is an expression of love which,
I know not why, seeks to surround and
embrace the object of affection & so, I suppose,
conceives of it as small, in order, (not being very
large myself), to encircle it. Your Adrian note
reached me last evening. Spofford & George &
I were walking rapidly homeward in order to 
spend the Monday evening as usual together in
reading & talking over some subject, or another.
Just as we had passed the street on which stands
The Post Office a feeling came over me that there
was a letter from you lying in our box for me. I
told them I expected a letter at the office & would 
get it & rejoin them- went to the office & there, sure 
enough, was just one letter, which proved to be
yours from Adrian. On reaching home while
Mr. and Mrs. Spofford & the folks talked awaiting 
supper, I read it & you do not know how much
good it did me. Every letter seems a guarantee
of your love. I feel assured that your True 
heart beats steadily for me & though I ought
to know it & do know it without the letter, yet
it makes me realize it more thoroughly.
So you escaped the snow drifts & the frost.
I feel quite anxious about you & only wish
I could be ever by your side, by day & night,
to watch over you. For my sake dear Lucy,
watch over yourself. Keep warm, make the 
people give you fire in your bedroom, get
regular meals & wrap up well, also take
regular exercise. I want to keep you well. 
Also if you catch cold try not to speak much
till you recover your voice, for that is a
great danger and above all dearest, do not let
any doubts, or forebodings about our future cause you
pain, or anxiety. Be sure that I have but one aim your
happiness & prosperity. I will try to so act towards you
that your love & trust will grow daily more perfect, &
to so live that I  shall be more worthy of your love every
day. Surely if I am true to you & to myself, I can
not do you harm! Your letters do me the more 
good & your affection is the more needful just at this
time. Business matters are very troublesome. I am trying 
to sell out, but have been for several weeks in a state
of very unpleasant suspense. I have expected daily
for a week past to consummate an arrangement.for a part, but am so for continually baffled
+ disappointed - I am naturally of a fretful
disposition, but the memory of our love
keeps me as cheerful + happy as is possible, when 
you are absent - This afternoon, the prospect of 
selling out is more gloomy than ever, a man
on whom we relied quite confidently having 
declined - however if I do not get clear this 
spring, I can scarcely fail to do so next summer.
Since you have honored me with your affection
Lucy - I feel immensely more sanguine of 
success in all my undertakings - I feel that now
our destinies are united, the good Spirits who, 
if there be spirits, must watch over + inspire
you, would also take a similar interest in me, 
because I am your's - so if it is for the best that
I shd sell out this winter, I shall doubtless do so. 
However, I intend to deserve a confidence in the 
Heavenly Powers on my own account - 
I have just received your Sunday letter from 
Toledo - I sympathize most warmly & fully
with all your aspirations for a pure + beautiful
life - We will strive together to grow + to help 
others grow - So soon as we can, we will
be free to choose our future permanent home
I should like to go to England this summer
very much if we see our way clear in so
doing - But if a fine opening appear in
N. York, I should think it possibly wiser to
stay there - My friend Spofford, whose 
ambition is all for intellectual + moral
development + who heartily despises the 
lower material [?], which alternately
attract + disgust me is quite anxious that
I should get out + stay out of business - He
wants me to live economically upon the 
means at my command + put in the two years
at systematic, severe study taking only such 
healthy physical exercise as is requisite
to preserve health - Some place near a 
large City - not much society + what
I have, good - Eventually with mind
exhausted + views matured, he thinks 
I should in some form as a speaker or
writer take an suergetee part in the 
world's affairs according to my ability
+ culture - of course he knows nothing
of our engagement for tho tis on my life
twenty times a day to to tell him, I remember
with mischievous determination to revenge
myself in kind, that he did not let me
know a word about his intended marriage
till it actually occurred when he immediately
wrote to me about it - So, if we


marry Eastward, I will do the same - 
And if in Cincinnati, we will invite
him to the wedding - without letting him 
know anything about it till the moment 
of its consummation - Spofford is a 
noble fellow + you will value him 
when you know him - He is a 
true friend, and an honest man + a
hard student with a grand force
of character + purpose - I want him
for a neighbor if possible wherever we 
may finally live - His library will be
a great acquisition to you this spring
dear Lucy - We discussed Carlisle last 
night + read his last production
"An occasional discourse - on the 
Nigger question" - A strong, bitter, 
fierce + not altogether undeserved
onslaught on the foibles of Abolitionists
a very amusing, though of course extremely
unjust & fanatical outpouring - full
of hard sense & good ideas in spite
of its absurdity & bile-
Last week at the Club, we discussed
"Inspiration" - It has been already carried
through some six evenings & has elicited
a great deal of talent & research - 
Confucius, Plato, the Bagavat-Vesta
Saneoniathon, Demophilus the Archose
& the Lord only knows how many other
old Worthies have been raked up by
the Sceptics - & the Orthodox have fought
very well - I have been away a good deal
of the time & made my first speech on
the question last [Saturday] night -
I took the ground that Inspiration
was a perpetual abiding, universal
fact of human Consciousness - that the
Bible contained Inspiration - & that
Religious Genius was but one form
in which an extra sensuous communion
with the Spirit of Truth was
manifested - I quoted Emerson's
beautiful poem on the subject
beginning
"Not from a vain or shallow thought
His awful Jove young Phidias wrought. &c
Lucy dear - if I could find some grand
truth & utter it grandly I should
like to be a public speaker - But the 
world has already a surplus of
Second-rate speakers & I fear to aspire
to attain the difficult first rank - 
I do not think that this is fromvanity, but because excellence is the
only sanction of Nature for undertaking 
any avocation - "The tools for those
who can use them!" -
You ask me to write out a protest
against marriage laws - I will try
& send you in a few days the result
of my deliberations - But I hope 
to accept your form rather than my
own - It should be brief, distinct &
comprehensive - so as to be read,
understood & remembered -
I am very glad dear Lucy that I can
reveal, in spite of my imperfection, 
something of Divinity to your soul-
I should like to stand in your heart
and mind as a perpetual reminder of
the nobler qualities of Man, as you
must represent to me the highest
elements of Womanhood-
You promise to be true to me if all
the world forsake me - I hope you may
never be so situated.  I would be ten
thousand pities if your honorable name
should ever be associated even involuntarily
& innocently, with the errors & crimes of any
body - If I thought you could ever be called
upon to go through such an ordeal,
though I know that you would be as
true as steel, I would see you once
more & then go into the wilds of
South America, or the human wilderness
of Europe, or Asia, or else
build up a better repution in Australia
& leave you to find a fitter mate - 
But I do not think that a possibility
certainly not a probability, exists of
such a misfortune - If it do come 
we will counsel together as to what is
right - & if I may - I will defend myself
- if not - I will suffer in silence what
the law inflicts & then shame law & 
facts by a life which shall disarm
criticism - But acknowledge guilt,
I think I never shall nor ought!  However
I have looked that spectre too
often in the face to feel alarm, or
lose my presence of mind - come what,
come may! - I saw sister Sarah
yesterday - She called, with Emma & Mr. L at
our store for the books - Mother & Sisters are
better, but not quite well - I hope she will 
soon recover her color & spirits.  Her husband
& child are pictures of health. - Good bye
dearest - God bless you - I shall leave home in
a day, or two - shall write to you next at Detroit Dear Lucy                        Terre_Haute Ind.     Feb. 13. 1835
I wrote to you last Sunday Evening enclosing a
copy of a protest, such as seemed to be to be needed & proper as
a declaration of principle and a model for imitation_ you will
find in the annexed copy a few unimportant verbal differences only-
I also enclosed a letter from Elizabeth to the home folks generally
& a note from Marian to you_ But, as I was compelled to start
early Monday morning, I did not have an opportunity to mail
the letter till I reached Vernon Ind on Monday afternoon_
Fearing lest it might miscarry, or reach Detroit too late to
intercept you there, I now forward this to the care of your
friends at Ann Harbor, hoping that one at least may reach
you_ If you have missed the Detroit letter you will learn by
this that it is now lying in the post office there & can get off
accordingly_ I have this evening sent a copy to Elizabeth of the
protest requesting her criticism_ She has very good taste & may
make some suggestion of value_ I I am curious to see your protest
& trust you have prepared one before the receipt of mine_ as I should
like to observe the different workings of our minds when considering
the same subject_ Marian does not like the clause anticipatory of
possible future disagreements, but I say, we should have one, because though
we probably shall never need it, yet it is in cases only of death, or disagreement,
where the law can step in to work injustice & therefore for
others, if not for ourselves, we ought to have arbitration or principles of
equity substituted for the unjust law_ At least, so I think_ what
say you? I have attend ownership & use in second specific grievance, to
ownership, or use_ to prevent a possible cavil from those who may say that
the fee simple of real estate remains in the [?], tho. She loses the use duringthe husband's life - I attach the last contract clause to do away
the unpleasant impression produced upon the mind, by the contemplation
of possible discord + also to support indirectly the absurdity of 
promising to love, honor + cherish without the qualification of ability to
do so - Having been travelling pretty constantly since I 
last wrote, I have of course no news to tell - Yes, I have too.
I found my locket, just as I was about to start - safely ensconced
in the fob of a pair of pants which I had worn for one day only & which
I had mislaid - I was greatly pleased, for I value that little locket
very much + think of it + of you a hundred times a day tho I do not 
often open it - simply because your image is so clearly in my mind's
eye that I do not need to look there - Just as I was leaving town
on Monday Morning, I called at the store + found an unwelcome note
from one of the parties, with whom I had been negotiating a sale declining
a result I had expected, but which I still regretted - However I will
get out, within the coming six months if possible. I wrote you a
few days ago telling you about a talk I had with old Dr. Mussey
We can compare notes more fully about those matters after marriage - I
don't like much to speak of them in letters for fear the wrong people
may get hold of them, for, say what we may, some things are not
fit for third parties either to see or hear - I have directed Sam to mail
letter to me, as they arrive to various points, so that I shall get any 
letter you may think proper to write, without much delay - I long
to see you again more than words can express - But I hope when I
next see you, it may be for no flying visit, but for a period of 
months - I have had many pleasant little sips, but I want now 
a full hearty draught of love - and I want to share the cup with you. 
Dear Lucy - We shall soon get over the intoxication of love, but then
we shall have the better delights of intimate + calm communion + 
be thereby perpetually refreshed + revived - We will try to live so
beautifully + so actively that every night we can compare notes 
together all by ourselves in one another's arms + say "we have not lived
to-day in vain!" We will plan together, lay out each our own work,
help each other to do it + report progress every night - I know not what
sphere of action I shall undertake - I should quit business altogether,
realize what I have, (some $10000. probably), invest it at 10% interest
+ live on the income, which with economy would support us - But then
I would study three years + then speak in public - not before - I could
by that time find out whether I was fit for the career of an intellectual
leader of men. But I suppose I must not thus postpone the settlement
of those old debts - and to settle them I must re-enter the gambling shop of
[* commerce + trust to energie and Principle   Paine
Good bye my own little love God bless you Yours Harry
What say you
better make the house of Samuel & Lucretia Mott our place of meeting.
in mind  - When you write dearest fix the day if you can - & perhaps we had 
I am remarkably well in body + happy*]Monday - Feb 19 / 55
I received your two letters dearest
Harry. The one from Ann Arbor, and the
other, from Battle Creek, on my return 
from Kalamazoo. (Where I wrote you last)
A fervent "thank God," escaped my lips, as I
read your deliverance from that rail-road
disaster - Never until then, had I known how
dear, or how necessary you are to me. But
when I reflected how barren life would be to me,
if you had been killed, how much of its sunshine, 
and its power of use, would have been gone - more
than ever before, I felt how much I need you.
I have not time today, to answer these letters -
but their words of confidence + love, and hope, and 
that hour of peril give me, if possible, an added
feeling of oneness. My mind and heart are full,
and one of these days I will write it all out.
But here I am constantly interupted, and
almost feel like saying "God save me from
my friends" - do not let business perplexities
annoy you. Who knows that your presentbussiness may just not be as good as any,
and then, we could live there near
Spofford, and the Club. At any rate dearest,
do not borrow any trouble about it - It will
all be well in the end - 
You can wait just forty days for our
marriage - I am thinking that we had better
be married on the last evening of the
Anti Slavery Convention - I will get there
that day; make one speech that evening,
and after it is over, Nettie shall go up home 
with us, and with only a few, who are dearest
to us both, we will give ourselves forever, each to
the other - I shall need a little rest. When my 
present season of meetings [are] is over, and it 
is due to my mother, that I should spend a 
few weeks with her. It will make less difference
with us, than it will with her For her
sake can't you be willing to wait?
I do take good care of myself, and my cold
and sore throat, are entirely well. I am not
at all satisfied to send this little scrap to you
darling mine! When your letter gave me so much
to say to you - but I will get time to write you at
Detroit at least - God bless you dearest, Yours
ever


[*1855*] - Ann Arbor - Mond. Feb /26
I came here on Saturday evening
to the home of some quaint Quaker's, two
miles out of town, because I needed
rest. and they said I could get it
here. I intended to give the day to
you and Sarah and Marian, but I had
not finished the letter to Sarah. before
it was announced that a few friends
had call to spend the day. Towards
night, they thought it would be very
agreeable to have a spiritual medium
here. Whom they all esteemed, and to my
horror I found they were going to bring
her to pass the night, and today also -
So this morning dearest, I have excused
myself from the company - not to answer
your four good letters received since I
have written you, but to tell you that I
got them - I go to Detroit tonight, and
there, I will write you - your letter with
Elisabeth and the protests and Marian's
note - also that with Dr. Murray's opinion -
and the one in which you tell me that
such an one has been sent are all
received. I thank you for them all
very much my dear Harry, They dome a great deal of good - but
I always feel, a wish to answer them
verbally. However, if I am not hindered
at Detroit, I will write you fully -
The protests I like in the main. I shall
prepare a form when I get home. It is out
of the question to think of doing it situated
as I am - I would write first, the things
against which we would protest, just
as you have done - then follow that, with
a concise statement of what we regard
as just and equal, in all cases. Which
will cover that of possible disagreement,
without at all implying that we anticipate
any such trouble for ouselves. The promise to
love, honor, +c I shall never make. - Those things
are dependent upon the qualities that can
inspire them, and if they cease, all promises
are vain - When I go home, and am
rested, I will write, and send you a
copy of it - I do not care where we first
publicly recognise our marriage, but it
have better not be at the Motts. Their
four daughters are at home, and are
all expecting to be mothers; and it would 
not be pleasant for them - I want it
should be deferred until after your
anti slavery convention, - Besides, I need
to rest as long as up to that time, and
it will be very pleasant for mother, +


surely cannot make much difference
with me - I shall rejoice as much as you
dearest when we can fully share our life,
But as much for your sake as for my own,
+ want to wait until I am less exhausted,
for I am very tired now - I have but four
more appointments - but shall stop and 
help Miss Anthony a week, and then home.
Do not be disappointed by this little delay,
darling. It will be better in the
end, Trust me dearest, I know it will be 
best - - - - I have been making plans. -
you know I am a farmer - and so maybe
can find a source of gain from your
lands now. - In this way - If your Illinois
land is put for pasturize any of it. We
might buy cattle this spring, send them
there to fatten, and sell them for beef
in the fall - and make a handsome
profit, so an immediate  income might
come from there - There is a large lot
near my father's that has been used
in that way ever since I can remember
and the owner has made himself rich.
What do you think of that? - I shall be
very glad when when we can sit, and
plan together dearest. When all the details
can be settled &c. and we will, before
very long - I hope you will not be exposed
during this cold boisterous weather,Dont be troubled dear Harry, if you do not
sell out this spring - It will probably be all
right in the end - We will talk all about
it, when I go there to live. - "The darkest
time, is often, just before day" - 
Thank Marian for her kind sisterly notes -
I shall write her soon. I wanted too to say
something about Elisabeth's notion about
our going to England, but have not time.
I have never consented to have my likeness
taken as Elisabith was told - Mr.O Leary
wrote me in regard to it 10 months ago
but I never even answered his letter - 
So that is a whole lie - 
I am glad that you have called 
on Sarah. She will suffer a geat-
deal there. you must send her
books, if you have time, and when I 
go, will try and make it pleasanter 
for her - With love to the family, and
for you my own dear Harry. one
kiss that lingers, and with love
that lives precious, I am only yours
I shall write you tomorrow, from
Detroit

[*P.S.
I hope the
Hamiltonian
Canadian
Westerners
will lose their
horror of your
ladyship, when
you have made
their acquaintance.
Your unfortunate
female acquaintance
who was taken
sick in the cars
is not likely
to image your
fate my own
Lucy - If she
were, I would
see to it that
you never got
into her predicament.
It is
a melancholy
story indeed
I shall write
to you on my
return home,
the day after
tomorrow, if I 
can find out 
where to address
you -*]
My own dear Lucy          Paris Illinois Feby. 27, 1855-
Your letter from Kalamazoo reached me here
16 days after date, having been forwarded to me by Sam - It 
is too late to write any address therein indicated, unless by
getting this letter into this afternoon's mail, I may possibly
intercept you at Hamilton Canada West - I will try at 
least + if it arrive too late there will be at least no harm done.
I have written two letters to you, which you had not received
at Kalamazoo when you wrote - one mailed at Vernon Ind. + 
one at Terre Haute - Each contained an enclosure. Eizabeth's
letter + a form of protest, as it suggested itself to my mind - I hope
you have received them, ere this - For two weeks and two days I
have been animalizing in Indiana + Illinois _ taking immense rides, eating
immense meals (I restrict myself to two per day, + sleeping minute?
-sleeps _ the usual monotonous alternations of dull taverns + hard-run
merchants, of muddy roads + rough, icy ones _ wearisome prairie,
wearisome timber - once in a while a little gleam of human nature
rising above the average flatness of the country + its inhabitants _ these
have made up my consciousness for two weeks past_ Occasionally an
evening by some farmer's woodfire, or a late night ride across
some wild desolate expanse of country wake me up to a certain
pleasant excitement _ but a continuance of this life would soon make
me as incurably prosaic as the very hogs whose flesh (notwithstanding
your admonistions + my own preferences) I am really obliged to feed upon.
But I am most remarkably well in health _ I have no more headache,
or stomach ache, or any other physical discomfort than the stumps & logs
which I feast my eyes upon _ I am now (thank God!) about throughwith this trip I shall not probably need to take another
till next summer, when, with a buggy, books + a pleasant
companion, I shall find the journey not altogether disagreeable.
But, as I have still (3 P.M now) some 18 miles further
to ride, besides business to transact _ + as I have already ridden
66 miles since yesterday at 1 PM; through miserably bad roads, I
cannot do more now than thank you for your most welcome
+ loving letters - Dear Lucy they do my heart good! I read + reread
them till I know their contents almost by heart _ I am trying to
become worthy of your generous, unselfish, overflowing affection.
I will be worthy of it + of you _ You shall not trust me in vain. As
for your pain at "thwarting my Western plans" you need not feel any.
I have many plans, but neither expect, nor wish, nor should be
able to realize one in a hundred of them. It is extremely doubtful
whether, if I had never known you, I should have ever gone to live in
Wisconsin, or Chicago. It is still more doubtful whether I should have
done wisely, or well in going _ My own judgment at present
co-incides with your's _ When I see what kind of men Western
Society produces, I feel how anti-pathetic in many respects the
people are + am not willing to resemble them _ The West is grand
in possibility + in its Future _ It is mean in its actuality + in its
Present _ The East is not, what the West will be, but at least it is 
something now. The West is the place to work, the East, to live! So I
will go with you, if you will, as far East as New Brunswick, Cape Breton,
Newfoundland or Nova Scotia _ Dear Lucy, when I reach home I shall
doubtless hear from you again soon & will mature my views as to the best
when + where of our marriage + write to you _ as soon as possible, I 
will get out of this business + of all business, + we will both vote in our
unanimous + undoubting affirmative of two, before I decide upon any
new enterprise _ That is a grand, good letter from Higginson _ Tell him I
have long been his friend so he need not forbid the wedding _ God bless you my own 
dear little wife + believe me! even your own - body + soul - Harry -Cincinnati Monday March 6 1855
Dearest Lucy
I have only this morning received your 
letters from Ann Arbor of 26th & from Detroit of 28th
Febry. - I feel very uneasy lest you may be sick
& hope that if so, you have written for me to come
to you - Why these letters have taken a whole week
in coming I find it hard to understand but the mails
like every other department of Gov. are shamefully
mismanaged- I reached home on the 2nd of March
I have been waiting for these letters, in order to get your
address-ever since- I wrote you last, dear Lucy at
Hamilton Canada West, but it seems quite probable
from the condition of your health, that you will be
unable to go there- Dear Lucy - you make the common
error of New England people - You work too hard 
& will wear yourself out, if you do not set a guard
over yourself - Let me be that guard dear Lucy
for it is a sin and a shame that you should
thus try your excellent constitution - I have never
been celebrated for my own special care of myself
but I will pay more attention hereafter for your sake
& I want you to do the same for mine.  Dearest, you
have given yourself to me & sign yourself "your's"
in all your letters.  Now then that you belong to me,
you have no right to hurt yourself by excessive

[*she comes to know you - I have also written to Emily, Howard, Kenyon,
 & Elizabeth -*]labor & fatigue.  I am very glad you are
going home to West Brookfield to your Mother
& I certainly should be very mean if I allowed
my desire for our marriage to allow me to ask
you to curtail your little holiday on your
native hills.  My own dear love, take your own
time & place for our marriage - Suppose we
make the place West Brookfield & the time
my birthday May 4th - I shall be 30 years old
that day & having then arrived at years of
discretion may very properly do a discreet
thing, the discretest of my life, by making my
future rich & beautiful by allying it with your's-
But I only propose that day, in case you prefer it.
If you can pleasantly make an earlier appointment,
I need not say that every day is counted, which
keeps me from you - You tell me in your little
note not to write till I hear from you again - Yet
I feel so uneasy at the result of this week
which has elapsed since that note was written
with the "hard headache" & the weary frame,
that I know not how to delay & shall send
this letter off at a venture.  I have in my
pocket a letter from Mother in answer to your's-
also one from Anna to you-also one from

Ellen to you, also one from Anna to
me, also a circular letter from Emily
to the family one ditto from Anna, one
note from Howard to me & one from Emily
to me- altogether quite a budget and
all destined for you - Marian & Ellen protest
against my sending you notes like that from Anna
to me, containing expressions which were only
intended for my eye - They say that it is treating
you badly & is not doing the writer, or the reader
justice - But I want no secrets between us & I
know you much too well to believe that you do, or
can feel any pain at the impressions true, or false
of those who never knew you & who think very
highly of you at any rate - Dear Lucy - we know each
other & we know that we are one.  It was not for
nothing that my heart leaped towards you & yearned
for you when I first saw you in our store six years
ago - You are the only being on Earth that I fully
sympathize with & I assure you that the better
you know me, the more you will feel, that with
all my errors & deficiencies you have not thrown
away your love  I have hardly any news to
communicate, having been home so short a time.
I am still much in hope of soon getting out.out of my present business - Negotiations
are still going on "with all deliberate speed"
& almost any day I may be able to advise
you of their completion - or of their failure.
But I shall never feel a sense of
failure dear Lucy, while I have your
love & sympathy to rest upon & that I
trust will never fail me - I am going
out to see Sarah this afternoon, or tomorrow
if possible & will do all I can at so great
a distance, to make her stay here happy.
I am rather glad that the Mott's is not
to be the place of our wedding - Elizabeth has
a special dislike of some of that family
a dislike which I think has sprung from
stories she has heard, rather than from
things she has known - We can either marry
at Brookfield, at New York, or at Cincinnati
& just as soon as you choose - But dear
Lucy I am not at all anxious that you should
promise to love, honor & cherish me, for I 
know your heart - I have no preference
for any particular form, or place - My
home is in you - my marriage is already
solemnized - As for your plan of making
a stock farm in Illinois - I expect some day
to realize that, but not just now, for it
will require the investment of much money
and the superintendence of a reliable person,
neither of which are yet forth coming - Good
bye dearest - God bless you - Write me how
you come on & if you are sick let me come
& nurse you - I am ever your own Harry -

[*I have written a love letter to Anna telling her all about you & she will love you [dearly?] when*]Walnut Hills Sunday Afternoon Mch 18 1855
Dearest Lucy
A week ago at Toronto, you wrote me that
kind good letter describing your ride to the steamboat with
"my rival" on whose account whoever I have not thought it
worth while to be jealous _ + telling me that you hope soon
to be at home _ The letter reached me last Wednesday + I should
have answered it before but for two reasons _ 1st I did not know
just when you would be at Syracuse + so thought it best
not to write a third letter to that point + 2nd I have been
very busy as the spring trade (which is a month later than
usual this year) is now quite active _ So I postponed writing
again till to-day should bring me leisure + until the chances were
that you would be at home to receive it _ Indeed dear Lucy,
it would puzzle all but those who have been loved (+ some
even of them) to understand what I find to write, or you
to read _ so long & so frequent are our letters + on my side at
least so barren of topics _ But I think we write, for the sake of
writing_ I feel as though I [am] for the time, almost with you
while I scribble + certainly your letters are a great treat to me -
But dear Lucy I long for the day when we shall need to write no
more letters to each other _ when we shall see + hear + feel each
other daily + nightly + satisfy if possible this craving for a love
+ sympathy which shall know neither limitation, nor concealment.
Dear Lucy - Since you received my despatches in Canada, you have felt
pained at the idea of having caused me anxiety by what you have
written _ Do not feel so! _ I have not suffered much, not in the tenth part
of what you have + when you suffer, I wish to suffer with you _ and you
surely did not write anything which would have caused me any anxiety
if my thoughts had been less fixed upon you + my knowledge of your character
less intimate - You say that you expressed your sufferings & fears more fully to
Sarah than to me_ Dearest _ hereafter, please do not, from any fear of giving 
me pain, refrain from letting me know all that occurs + all that you
feel _ I can comprehend you, be sure _ + as I will conceal nothing from
you, do you suppress nothing from me _ As for the struggle in your
mind at times about the propriety of our trying to have children _ I will
only ask you to postpone that question altogether till we are married. Then
we will earnestly + carefully consider it together + do as we feel tobe right afterwards _ You know dearest Lucy, that I am too proud
+ too aristocratic ("in a certain fine sense", as Olcott would say) to be
willing to have any but fine, noble children + if we cannot fairly and
reasonably hope from the laws of Nature + the facts in such cases
to have such ones, we will wait till we can _ But I know some
things, which I will not tell you till I see you, which make me
hope + believe that you may become a cheerful + happy Mother
by me, as you shall, in any event, be a loved + cherished + happy
wife - Now, dear Lucy, if it be possible + so far as you can, put
aside the dark presentiments + fears + disgusts which so naturally
come over you at times _ Think only of me + of the need of you
which I feel + the good + happiness we can both confer upon each
other if we will + let us come together; so soon as possible _ I will
enclose herein a deed to 160 acres of land for your $200.- I have
had no opportunity of entering a piece specially for you, so I
send you one entered by me before for myself - But I do not
see why you should secure this property against liability for my
debts until I can go with you + help you attend to it _ for I fear
my dear, that you will feel pained at doing so without me + I
would rather save you that pain by accompanying you while you
do it _ If I can, without doing my partners an injustice, leave here
in a few weeks, I will _ But business has commenced so much later
than common, that it will be later in slackening off + I fear
that I cannot come to New England much before 1st of May - If
however, you can just as well come here by the 1st of April, or 
thereabouts do not let us lose the precious month of love + 
delight, but come on, as you propose + live with me just as soon
as you possibly can - Sarah wants you, little Emma wants you - 
Mother + sisters + brothers want you + oh Lucy dear _ more than
all of them a hundred times, I want you _ We can be married here
as soon as we choose, at Mother's house, + either publish it at
the time, or a month afterwards in either the Eastern, or Western
papers, or both simultaneously, as we prefer - No one, but ourselves
need know of our marriage till after the Convention if you choose -
as for that Convention - altho. I am doing + shall do all in any say
power to aid it, I do not intend to take any active part in it, as a 
speaker this year, if I can help _ My partners feel desirous of my not
doing so, until we can make a change + dissolve the form of course
the odium which attaches to me from the Salem affair has been


to a certain extent injurious to our business + much more
so to its reputation (for purposes of selling out) than to its
actual condition _ People are so cowardly that they over-estimate
the effects of a popular clamor + we actually
did just miss an opportunity of selling out, a few weeks
since by the purchaser's fear that the business had been
greatly injured by the Salem spree. I hope you do not
understand me, dear Lucy, as regretting that affair, or as
willing to compromize one iota of independent thought + 
action from sordid motives _ On the contrary, I will endeavor
soon to assume a position where I shall have no partners to
object to my course, as an injustice to themselves_ Only
three, or four days ago, I was obliged very much to
offend them by getting out a writ of habeas corpus
for two slaves, who were brought to the City on the Maysville 
Steamboat + thence transferred across our Landing
to the Louisville mail Boat "Jacob Strader"_ These men
were chained round the body + to each other + were being transferred
from Dover Ky to Missouri, by a man, who had bought them only
two days before_ I only heard of it at 10 A.M. + the Strader was to
leave at 12_ Two colored men had called at the Store to consult me
about it, but I had been out till then_ I went direct to Jolliffe's 
office + omitted to take my informants with me_ so was compelled
to make the affidavit myself_ The writ was granted by Judge Stover
Jolliffe + I went to the Landing + saw the deputy Sheriffs on board.
The Capt. denied the presence of the slaves, but on search they were
found + taken to jail_ I called on them with a young free colored
man in the afternoon + represented the advantages of freedom_ I found
them both desirous to be free + not to go to Missouri_ But the claimants
+ their friends got the trial postponed 2 days successively + meantime
talked to them + bribed the Jailer, turnkeys +c till they
got the poor fellows bewildered + intimidated_ representing that there
were hundreds of men in Cincinnati out of work_ that they would
be starved to death or put on the chain-gang +c +c_ However we
sent friends to see them on our side + day before yesterday + yesterday
the case was very ably + fully argued on both sides_ The question
is an important one, which we have wanted for a long time to bring
up_ It is this_ Does a slave become legally free if he hate beingcarried from one slave state to another on the Ohio River, the
steamboat incidentaly lands on the ohio shore_ We contend
that the jurisdiction of Ohio extends to low water mark_ that
a slave brought by his owner or agents to the bank of the river 
on a steamboat comes within our state + under our law +
so becomes a free man_ The other side contend that the 
Ohio river, being a national highway is free to the citizens of
all states with their property under their own State laws + that
Comity + the provisions of the act of Session of Virginia
in 1787 alike give to travellers the use of the shore for
neccessary purposes of transit_ If, as we confidently
anticipate, the decision is in our favor an important principle
will be established_ We learn however that in that case, the
men are to be immediately arrested + taken before an infamous
Fugitive Slave Commissioner named Pendery + by him in defiance
of State Law even, to be remanded_ The decision is to be on
Wednesday next + we shall try to get the poor fellows clear_
I was too busy to attend the actual trial _ Senator Chase (just
returned from Washington) Judge Walker + Stalls + Mr Jolliffe,
four very able men are said to have spoken nobly on our side.
Of course "The Enquirer" came out with an infamous half column
of abuse against me as a "public nuisance", a destroyer of the
business of the City, a British renegade, a negro thief +c+c + invoked
a mob + a coat of tar + feathers +c +c - all which I shall be well
satisfied to endure, if we can get this one step nearer a free state,
than before - I have read the various speeches of Chase, Summer
Seward, Phillips + others to which you refer - Also a very good one of
Henry Wilson's defining his position, which strikes me as manly +
ingenuous, except the opinion that Mass, would (in the absence of
Federal usurpation) enforce the fugitive clause of the Constitution - 
that was very mean, or at least intentionally ambiguous.
I wish you saw the "Nat. Era" regularly - Dr. Baileys articles against
the know-nothings are grand + conclusive_ I also enclose a letter
which I have just received from Hanchett + Gunn lawyers of Sullivan Ind.
When I was in Hutsonville a few weeks since, I tried to get from Moore a
release of his claim against Luther's estate so far as the piece of land opposite
in Indiana, was concerned - This he had verbally made me in the preceding
summer, but the mean little scamp refused to give it in writing - whereupon
I told him his meanness would do him no good, for that Phoebe 'is entitled'
in Indiana under the law of that State to $150 out of it & that is more
than it is worth _ By enclosed letter you will see that it will only
cost about $20. or thereabouts to bring the land into sale _ If nobody
bids more I will myself buy it in at say not to exceed $75. + then
Phoebe will get the Fifty Dollars - + if I can afterwards get


I have written to your sister + enclosed some information
given me by old Nathan Musgrave, with whom I took dinner
+ spent a few hours after seeing Moore_ He promised to try to
get a written release from Moore, but I do not think that it
matters much whether we have it or not, as we can get the
value of the land clear of all claims at any rate _ The Musgraves
retain a very warm + friendly feeling toward you + your sister _
The tomb-stone + paling for your brother's grave is ordered, but
not yet put up - Mr Musgrave says that it shall soon be done
Dear Lucy - how I wish I could have been with you + watched
over you in your trouble at Hutsonville + at Bellville _ But
it is probably owing to that very illness of your's that I owe my love for you +
your's for me, for it was your bringings in the little draft on C. Donaldson
to our store that first made me see you + I loved you at sight. _ Years
afterwards I came East _ almost wholly to know you, for I had never
forgotten you _ Wrote soon, dearest Dove + tell me whether you come on
to me + when - I hope you can come soon dearest, for I want you
+ am ever your own Harry -more for it, I will send her the balance _ It is necessary that
Phoebe should write a letter to Mrs Hanchett + Gunn, authorizing
them to pay the taxes + to take the requisite steps for selling
the land for her interest_ Let her send the letter to me + I
will forward it to the lawyers + see the matter properly arranged.
This seems no doubt but that the value of the land over + above
$30. expenses can be realized for your sister_ However I do not
think that the land is worth over $2. per acre_      (over)
----------
Give my love to your Father + Mother_ I wish very much to 
revisit West Brookfield_ I should little over more to see the Rock
House + away off in the distance Old Wachusett (do you remember our
day up there) + Monadnoc + Holyoak + Mount Tom_ Perhaps
if your brother will move West, we may some day buy the farm
of him + give him Wisconsin lands in exchange_ Vive! Valé quéWest Brookfield , Mar. 29 
1855

Dear Mary, 

I write but you know that I am still better - 
My head is so that I have now scarcely a fear of insanity. 
I feel the power of self control , and as long as I can do that , there is no danger - 
we receive yesterday your deed for love in Mr. ( ? ) H. letter to please, and from the dangers in Sullivan Ind. and Ellen's [[?]] also last , not least, yours please in much obliged , and in a few days will let you know whether he thinks it worth while to try to get anything - The sum will be very small, and the trouble to somebody equal to the gain - I wrote you yesterday , that perhaps the 12th [[?]] would be the days I fear I can't be ready by that time- if I were well, I could and [[?]] go to get there- I am [[?]] may is to attend the convention . He is a good man , Perhaps it will be as well to wait until that time - But as soon as I can feel , sure of being well, I can determine at once - I am sorry to [[???tation ]] you in this way - But I think it will cost you less to wait
while I am here, for me to be well, than it will
to receive me tired and not well_
But I am getting stronger every day, and
perhaps in three weeks can be with you, but we
had better leave it unsettled for the present,
not because I am childish. But simply because
I cannot tell, how long it will be, before I shall
be fit. I am glad that business is better, and
that you have so much, that you can't leave_
provided it is business that will pay _ I am glad
you do not care for that miserable "Engineer"-
I am sure that by every noble soul, you will be
more esteemed, for the aid you render the outcast
slave_ I saw the N. Y. Tribunes account of it_
It is well to have those legal points tested_ Do you
think that after all you over and over committed
to the Anti Slavery cause, that a good speech at
the Convention would make you any more abnoxious?
But you must judge what is best - you know all
the circumstances better than I do-
You ask me to write you "all"- Dearest Harry some
day, when I am stronger, I will either write or tell
you everything I have thought, and felt_ You say you
know just as well as I do, the revulsions of feelings &c.
As far as a man can, I have no doubt, that you do
understand. I am glad my dear, that you can never _
feel -But I am calmer, happier, and as, for months
I have loved you alone, deeply and truly, so I still do -
and from our mutual love, we will get. I trust - 
realize much of happiness - Do not be troubled
for me, - Take good care of your health, and be
sure that I shall be well cared for here_
We have plenty of helpers_ If I am any worse, we
will write you. If you do not hear so often, know
that the silence is proof of getting better_
With much love_ LucyAnn Arbor, Feb. 26, 1855
Dear Harry
Your letter with the "protest" received.
The protest I like in the main.  I shall prepare a
form when I get home... I would like first, the
things against which we would protest - just as
you have done.  Then follow that with a concise
statement of what we regard as just and equal, in
all cases which will cover that of possible disagreement,
without at all implying that we anticipate
any such trouble for ourselves.  The promise to
love, honor, &c, I shall never make.  Those
things are dependent upon the qualities that can
inspire them, and if they cease all promises are
vain.  When I go home, and am rested, I will
send you a copy of it.  I shall rejoice as
much as you, dearest, when we can fully share
our life. ---
Lucy


[*dup*]
Boston, Jan 18, 1855

Dearest Harry
---- Do not fear that I shall not
understand Anna. She is much like you, and
knowing you I can interpret her. With her
high culture, and artistic life it is the most natural
thing in the world that she should desire the
same excellencies in the wife of her brother. And it
would be a great deal better for him if it could be so.
I know the worth of those things, not as she does possessing
them, but from the want of them. But I have a
real desire to improve, and doing the best I can,
with you all to help me, the time may come when
I shall come nearer her ideal and my own too.
I wish I had a rich and varied culture, with
personal wealth and beauty, and every good; but
these have been all outside the rocky path over
which I have toiled. I have very little of that
which the world values, to carry you, dear Harry,
but such as I have, and all that I have, theunselfish love of an individual heart are yours.
You will never be proud of my polished exterior, nor of
my brilliant intellect, nor of my high culture.  But in
the circle in which you will move, you will of necessity,
often feel that I am an inferior to it; you will be
pained, and your love of approbation will suffer
many times because I shall be ever on the
unpopular side of unpopular reforms.  Our moral
standpoint, and our view of what is intrinsically
worth of pursuit are so different that we shall
each many times feel alone.  I have so little
literary culture, and no artistic, that in all
these respects you will feel sorely uncompanioned,
for I am sadly different.  But I will try and
surround you with those who shall supply what
I lack, so far as these things are concerned;
and will try as far as I can to supply the wants
of your heart.  But, as you said to me in a
letter the other day, "do not feel constrained
to marry me even on the day itself, if you


cannot do so freely."  So I say to you, "do not
let an engagement or anything that has passed,
make you feel any obligation to me.  I know how
much you and your family have acquired which
I have not.  I am glad for them; it is worth a great
deal.  I know that it will be impossible for you
not to feel the difference, and painfully too.  I
know too that if we have little ones, it will not be
possible for me to gain much for many years, in
the respects in which I am so deficient.  So, dear
Harry, in view of it all, if anywhere, even in the
most silent corner of your heart there lingers the
faintest wish that we sustained no relation, but
that of friendship, I would infinitely rather it
should all be dropped; it will be for the highest
good of both.  I am not writing this on account
of anything in Anna's letter.  I love and value
her all the more on account of her earnest
interest in your welfare.  Her wish that
you should have a cultivated life is surelysensible.  You ought to have; but I am not so, and
may never become so.  My culture has been
mainly of my moral nature.  I want to be situated
for the future, where I can make progress in
other respects.  Early in our acquaintance I told you
of my deficiencies, (perhaps there was no need,
they are apparent) and they have ever been in my
mind as an objection to our marriage.  So, my
dear Harry, be honest with yourself, and frank with
me, and let no false sense of honor, or of
what people will say, prevent you from being
entirely true to yourself.  But we will talk of
it when we meet, and of the business too.  I
have thought a great deal of what will be best,
but I know that you have a good business talent,
and have no doubt that in that department
you might excel, and that you could accumulate
largely of the "treasures that perish with
the using," and that you could have the 
distinction of being called a rich man.


As he who makes two spires of grass grow where
only one grew before, is a benefactor; so he who
creates wealth is a benefactor.  But there are
plenty of people who cannot make money;
not so many who can bring the world a 
high thought that shall make its immortal
part better.  Fewer still, whose life of sublime
devotion to the highest right leaves an example
which, by its imperishable worth wins followers,
and so makes the world better, if not in
money at least better in morals.  I hoped
that we should be able to give ourselves to
the great moral movements of the age.
But of all this, we will speak when we
meet.----
Lucy