[*Hiram*] Niagara Falls. Nov. 16th /53. Lucretia My sister Please pardon the liberty I take in pointing my pen towards your name this evening, for I have taken in so much scenery today I cannot contain it all myself. Feeling a necessity of stirring around some before the confinement of another term, and having long cherished a strong desire to see the greatest waterfall upon the globe I concluded to do so now. Accordingly I went to Cleveland on Tuesday and tried to get a passage on the Lake, but the boat had left a short time before I reached the wharf. Being thus deprived of a passage upon [the] moon-lit Erie, I took the cars at 4 1/2 o'clock. and passing across the neck of the Key-Stone State, I arrived in Buffalo at 11 o'clock at night. The city is about three times as large as Cleveland, and contains 70,000 inhabitants. I strolled through the city till 9 o'clock, when I again took the cars, and in less than one hour I came in sight of the hoary monument of mist that stands in the abyss below the Falls, andbathes it head in the clouds. Most of the distance from Buffalo, we were in sight of the St Lawrence through whose channel flows the water of all the great Western Lakes. It is about two miles in width and is tranquil and smooth as polished silver, till we reach the rapids. First there is seen only a slight ripple Soon wavelets become waves, which burst into whitecaps and are scattered in foam. Among the "bounding billows" of the rapids are several beautiful islands covered with hemlock and other evergreen trees, and a bridge passing over from the American side to Goat Island, the principal one of these, where there are a few buildings, and walks are elegantly laid out through this forest island. It divides the river and forms the American and Canadian Falls. Which last form its shape is called "The Horse Shoe Fall." It comprises a circle of 2100 feet and is 158 feet high. I stood upon the Canadian Shore (having crossed the ferry below the falls) and beheld embattled myriads of hoary billows leaping along the rapids till they reach the awful bring, where they sprang with a furious bound and disappeared in "thunder and in foam." Then clothed in an oilcloth suit, I descended a spiral staircase, and followed a guide behind the falling sheet of table-rock to the distance of 230 feet. The scene there presented overwhelms the soul and beggars all description. To look above you and behold a liquid world begirt with rainbows, tumbling from the skies and thundering as it comes, would seem as through the heavens themselves were molten seas and falling to the earth. When Willis Gaylord Clark came out from behind the fall he wrote these lines: "Here speaks the voice of God! let man be dumb," "Now with his vain aspirings hither come." "That voice impels the hollow-sounding floods." "And like a presence fills the distant woods." "These groaning rocks the Almighty's finger piled" "For ages here his painted bow has smiled" "Mocking the changes and the change of Time" "Eternal-beautiful-serene-sublime" June 26th 1836 I am stunned and overwhelmed at its immensity & grandeur and to attempt to describe is only to desecrate it. I leave it-you can never feet it till you gaze yourself. I then proceeded a few miles into Her Majesty's Dominions to the "Battle Ground" at of Lundy's Lane where Gen Scott and his compeers won a wreathe of lasting fame by being successful in the slaughter of 1100 human beings. An old soldier who was in the battle was there upon the observatory and "foughtthe battle o'er again! I feel like moralizing here upon war and wordly fame. But I desist. From the Battle Ground by an "equestrian procedure" I arrived at the suspension bridge. It is 800 feet long and is 230 feet above the water which at that place is 250 feet deep. They are now building a Rail Road Bridge about 40 feet directly above the other. From there I sauntered along the evergreen bank of the river, looking down far below me upon the tops of tall trees growing at the waters edge, and thus closed the explorations of the day. I shall visit several other places of interest tomorrow, and in the afternoon return to Buffalo & if possible get an evening passage on the lake to Cleveland. I fear I shall miss it again, for there are but few boats that venture out now. Now Lucretia, if you have had patience to read thus far, this statistical document, I shall be fully confirmed in the belief that you are a woman of remarkable patience, and would say, I know not why I have written, only just I felt like it and did so. I expect Deo Volente, to be in Hiram in a few days, perhaps in advance of this. Meantime with the kindest regards I am as ever J. A. Garfield Address. J.A.G. Hiram Portage Co. O. My writing materials and chrography are worthy of a place in the comic Almanac. James.[*Hiram Ohio*] Hiram, Nov. 30th /53 My Very Kind Brother: Your Niagara offering was not received until last Saturday evening-none the less welcome however now less fraught with interest to my by its delay for until its reception I was not aware of your visit to the world's greatest wonder, and to receive a line prompted by the inspiration of that mighty torrents grandeur truly called forth a large amount of gratitude, Often as I have read or listened to descriptions of its inconceivable vastness and sublimity have I desired to stand beside it, and "feel" myself the power of its overwhelming mights and as often have I determined that thus it should sometime be. When however, the future must reveal. At present my [time and] attention and my mind with all its energies are directed towards, and concentrated upon one little spot of Earth; so that I do not know that even the "Great Niagara" could attract my notice only so it might serve to amuse my little dear ones, or to illustrate some wonderful idea I would fain impress on their minds. A little time however each day I devote to Virgil and other reading. Have you ever read a work of Carlyle "Heroes and Hero Worship?" If not I think you would be interested with it. His ideas are many of them so novel and strange to me at least that I cannot but admire I commenced reading it last spring and am now trying to get time to finish it. I presume you are enjoying yourself and trust the school is prospering this term though I know but little more about it than I would a hundred miles distant, I would like to know how many hundred lines the Virgil class are ahead of me &c &c. and trust, I may see you before long as I would like to learn [the] how terminated your trip-whether you are favored with a night's sail upon Erie's blue waters and if so whether all or many of your youthful conceptions of a home on the billow were realized. I have no apology for troubling you with this line save that you directed me to "Address J.A.G. Hiram Portage Co." Ohio", and as I know not when an opportunity would permit my so doing personally concluded so at least acknowledge the reception of your favor and my gratitude for the same; hoping you will receive it with a brother's kindness and forbearance. Truly Your sister: Lucretia. P.S. I enclose an inked translation of Anacreon's ode not that I consider it deserving your protection, but because I promised it you. L.Anaereon - To His Lyre. I wish to speak honor of Atreus' sons Of Cadmus wish to sing But Love alone my lyre resounds Upon its chords. Of late Its strings I changed - to change the [harp Entire; and then began To sing the toils of Hercules. The lyre replied but Love. Heroes, henceforth, farewell, for us; For only Love we sing. L. Rudolph. Hiram Nov. 20th [pts?]Anacreaon - To His Lyre. I wish to speak of Atreus' sons Of Cadmus wish to sing: But love alone my lyre resounds Upon its chords. Of late Its strings I changed - to change the harp Entire; and then began To sing the toils of Hercules. - The lyre replied but love, Heroes, henceforth, farewell, for us; For only love we sing. Trans. L. Rudolph. For revision. You are shielded by the "Poet's License" James-Nov. 30th 1853 Mr. J. A. Garfield. Hiram. O. US POSTAGE THREE CENTSMan Ohn Hiram December 8th 1853 Much respected sister:- Many thanks to you for your kind and very welcome letter which was received last Monday morning. I will understand your feelings in reference to your school, that your whole being is absorbed in the work of moulding and giving direction to the plastic minds of the youth placed under your care. To know that we are handling the delicate machinery of mind, and impressing thoughts and principles that shall remain forever must necessarily impress us with a sense of great responsibility- I think every person should teach at least one school to obtain true views of humanity and human life. I have never read Carlyles ^ work but have heard it spoken well of and very much desire to read it . I am fully satisfied that text books alone will not make the mind rich and over- flowing with that fulness of thought that every one desires and I know that for my part I amvery deficient in general knowledge. I am however trying to to something this winter. I am now reading "McCaulay's History of England" and some miscellanies. I have a book called "The Heroines of History", which I like very much so far as I have read it. Also a book called "Hurry Graphs" by N. P. Willis in which there are some fine things. Have you ever read them? There is great beauty in his writings, but it is said that his personal character is rather exception able. Should we allow that consideration to influence us in reading an author? I spent the forenoon of the day after I wrote you in wandering through the beautiful islands above the falls, writing, pondering and admiring. I have no words to describe the emotions inspired by that awfully sublime scene. To see the majestic Niagara, two miles in width, with its surface placid and smooth as polished silver, first become gently ruffled and then the sloping channel stirs its crystal depths, and maddens all its waters. An unbattled host of billows come leaping down the opposing, rocks of the rapids until they reach the awful brink where all surcharged with frantic fury, leap billowing down the rocky slips which thunder[?] back the sullen echoes of their roar, and shout Gods praise above the cloudy skies--O that the assembled millions of the earth could once behold that scene sublime and awful and learn to adore the Everlasting God, whose finger piled those giant cliffs and sent his sounding seas to thunder down, and shout in deafening tones; We come [p????] out the hollow of His hand and haste to do his bidding-- I loved to be alone, but still I wished all my friends were by my side to gaze with me upon that scene. I would sometime see it again--if I live. That afternoon I took the cars for Buffalo, and at 4 o'clock P.M. was seated in the splendid cabin of the Steamer "Ohio" bound for Cleveland. A cloudy night succeeded, and I contented myself with visiting the boat. I went into the hold where were 40 or 50 Irish and German emigrants. I made some of their acquaintances, listened to the songs and stories of their dear "Father Land," then viewed the complicated machinery of the powerful engine, and then walked [?athed?] and discussed with the passengers in the cabin. Among these were a Canadian editor, and a young Catholic who is educating himself for a priest. With these I spent much time in discussing the comparative merits of England and America, and of Protestantism and Catholicism. We were, on account of head winds, all that night the next day, and next night till nearly midnight upon the lake. The last evening, just as we were leaving Fairport, and asVirgil says "urbisque terraeque recedebant," the virgin moon rose in a clear sky. I stood upon the hurricane deck alone – Her blush paved the lake with silver, and she looked down upon her own bright face mirrored in its crystal depths. Then I gazed far back towards the receding city, and beheld the curling waves of the steamer's wake, sparkling in the moonbeams like diamond gems. and then a slight breeze arose which rippled gently the bosom of the Lake that glittered there with drops of golds + pearl. You ask me "if any of my youthful conceptions of a home on [?] billows were realized"? I will not trouble you with that long strange story of my early youth. but only say for years my soul longed for a home upon the deep blue sea, and even yet, when higher aims and objects fill my heart, I love the ocean with its foaming waves; and let me often from the cares of life retire, and listen to its deep toned music, and gaze upon its crested waters. The latter part of that night I spent at the "Forest City-House", where [?] the recollection of a former visit – and the next evening, I was in Hiram – The school is going on quite pleasantly, though among the 240 that are here we have some unruly ones. Today the Virgil class finished the third book and we are going about 50 lines per day. Are you ahead? I presume so. Won't you come in to both Greek and Latin in the spring? We miss you very much in those two classes. What are you views now with regard to studying the classics? Have you reconciled yourself to devoting a few years more to them? I would like to hear your reasonings on the subject ––– I would much rather converse "one [?] [?] but its seems that our leisure hours do not synchronize, and will you therefore excuse me for inflecting so long a letter upon you? I should be much pleased to receive another bundle of thoughts from you, if you deem it worth your time to send them. I thank you for returning your Anacreontic pledge which I had by no means forgotten – Have you concluded to keep closed doors or to admit spectators to your schools your winters' empire? I have some interest in the decision ––– Hoping that you will overlook these many imperfections, and pardon, them, I am Truly and sincerely Your Brother James[*?*] Hiram. Dec. 14th /'53 Brother James:- We seem very artlessly to have commenced a correspondence by letter as a substitute for an occasional personal interview which the concurrence of circumstances unavoidable appears at present to forbid, and as it is in perfect harmony with my inclinations I shall not be the one to discontinue it at present -- indeed, I would with the familiarity of a sister, ask rather that it be continued: since by your queries concerning my view now, in reference to studying the classics you have paved the way for an investigation of their merits, which I do hope will result in some kind of a decision in my mind. Candidly I will confess that thus far I have presented the study of them without any argument in their favor which appeared to me conclusive -- Do you wonder that conscience sometimes upbraids me? -- Doubtless it is owing to my lack of penetration and ignorance and with this consideration I have quieted the Monitor. But am I never to get wiser, or is it indeed a truth that the time and attention they demand might and therefore should be devoted to pursuits more worthy?True it is a rigid discipline for the mind - that digging out those Greek and Latin roots, and straightening those crooked sentences, but is it there alone it can receive it? - Perhaps it is. Perchance the phenologist is right when he affirms that a certain class of faculties will remain uneducated unless called out by their pursuit. Strange however that the Creator should have endowed man with such faculties and for near two thousand years left him unprovided for their training. - I wish you would convince me of their superior merit if they really possess it; for I do not like to give them up - neither do I like to continue in them feeling ever that precious moments are being wasted - moments that should tell of stores of wisdom treasured. I have laid them aside for the winter however as I felt that I could not do justice to my school should I devote the time to them it would be necessary to in order to keep along with the classes. The first two weeks I read Virgil a little but shall read it no more this winter consequently in the spring will be thrown from both my old classes. I am still reading "Carlyle" and quite captivated by him - a fault with me in reading. I have not read Greek and Latin enough yet to have sufficient judgement to guide me, and am therefore influenced very much by the author whose works I peruse. I have read neither of those works you mentioned; but am reading now "Hume's History of England". - Am I to admit spectators into my "empire"? - That depends upon who they are and what their object. I did not dare close my gates against President Hayden but should one of his "cabinet" appear I might have the audacity to attempt it. - You say every person should teach at least one school "to obtain true views of humanity and human life". Surely of all places there it is [?] learn that lesson, but I would not have every one there. No no its responsibilities are too great, and I feel my incapacity to meet them. The interests of the mind and the soul are too weighty for everyone to experiment with, and was it not for this consideration that a large proportion of the parents are as utterly unfit to manage aright the interests of their children as the teachers they employ and many times more so, it would be my conclusion at once that schools for children should be prohibited. As the world is however it is doubtless better they should continue. - Should it harmonize with your findings to bestow another message it will most gratefully received by your sister: Lucretia Hiram December 21st 1853 Sister Lucretia, I am glad our correspondence has taken a practical turn, and upon so important a subject as xthex "The Study of the Dead Languages." I cheerfully engaged, not in the _discussion_, but the _investigation_ of the subject. I think it generally biases the mind to consider ourselves as disputants, and although I may disagree with your views on some point, still I hope to be considered rather as a co-seeker after truth, then an opponent. I want the truth, for error will harm me. Hence I have no _theory_ to _defend_, but one to investigate. Am I correct in saying then that the great object of education is to prepare the mind to act upon objects, facts and principles? So it seem to me. It is the work of the _educated_ _mind_, (not of _education_) to investigate principles, and to select items of knowledge worthy of being stored away in the mind's storehouse. Not taht the whole work of education should be com- margin: Excuse the carelessness that dropped and soiled this sheet.before principles are investigated or facts learned; but that the cultivation of every faculty should precede its use in investigating any question. But here some one asks, "Can we not find some thing that will both cultivate and be useful, where we can both educate our faculties, and work out beneficial results upon questions of science &c &c ? As well might I say "let the apprentice of a surgeon amputate a living rather than a dead limb, so as to combine improvement in skill, with usefulness." To this cause may we not trace a large majority of the innumerable differences of opinions among men, upon almost every subject? Some examine with cultivated, others with uncultivated minds, and between the two there is a long series of different degrees of cultivation, and have as many different views, as there are points of observation. But to return to my first proposition. The mind cannot act directly upon any object. fact or principle. It may be compared to a stream of water. I wish by means of its power, to make fine flour and meal, but I cannot accomplish it by turning the stream into a box of wheat or corn. I must first collect the proper material, and build a mill with appropriate machinery, by means of which I can reduce the grain to flour, which will be fine or coarse, not so much in proportion to the power of the stream, as to the perfection of the machinery. The wise man would not, in his haste to obtain flour, turn the stream into his treasures of grain and thus sweep it away with a flood of unrestrained power, but would spend months, and even years in preparing his machinery and then would the law-abiding torrent, accomplish the objects of his desire. Now there is no connection between the informed mind, and objects, facts and principles, and hence it can make no manifestations till such connection is formed. The only link that forms that connection is Language. Give the child a word and he has an utensil with which to think. The obtaining of that utensil, not the using, is Education. The mind that is master of ten words is ten times more cultivated, than that which is master of only one. Hence Language is the machinery with which the mind operates upon all things with which it has to do, and upon the perfection of language, depend the perfection and correctness of all mental operation. Hence the great work of Education, as we first defined it, is to obtain the entire and complete machinery — of language, as far as can be done —I have now reached the point of more especial interest, and the one upon which this investigation terminates. viz: Is it necessary for in order to the perfection of this machinery, through which the mind operates; to study the _Ancient Languages. Space will not allow me to give the reasons existing in my own mind, upon this latter question, but if this shall merit a response, and we can agree thus far upon the above positions, I will try to give some reasons that may bear upon the question. I will tell you what induced me to commence the study of the Languages more than all my own reasonings at that time. I saw many men in public life, regretting that they had not a knowledge of the classics, and feeling that every stripling graduate in the land had an advantage over them - I head all that had ever studied them speak in their praise, and none condemned them. The study of them was recommended by all the eminently learned and pious. Desiring to read the Word of Eternal Life in the Apostles' own vernacular, and trusting to the advice and assurance of those who, by years and experience, were much better qualified than myself to judge, I commenced the work, and though I have advanced but a short distance, [that] yet, to my mind the evidence is constantly increasing why and individual, who wishes to become thoroughly educated should possess a thorough knowledge of the classics. Some of this I hope to be able to give. I hope you will thoroughly criticise the reasoning & conclusions in this, and show their fallacies to me, for I want the truth. With the kindest wishes, I am, as ever, Your brother, James[*Hiram Ohio*] [*HIram Ohio*] December 28th, /53. Brother James: So your definition of Education and opinion respecting its design I unreservedly subscribe - That it is the cultivation of the mind's faculties, and its object to prepare them to act efficiently and justly, is undoubtedly the true idea of education; therefore the only point at issue is the one you mentioned - "Is it necessary in order to the perfection of this machinery through which the mind operates; to study the Ancient Languages." And anxiously I await your reasonings - [upon] [this question], which you have kindly promised - upon this question. I would not assume to criticise you, nor could I either in the soundness of your reasoning as the correctness of your conclusions thus far; therefore silence is the most befitting until I further hear. Sincerely your sister: Lucretia.Hiram January 4th. 1854 My Dear Sister- I was glad to receive your long friendly letter and to know that our views coincided upon that subject for you are aware that many regard education as the "stoning of the mind with useful knowledge", and hence argue against the classics as a means of education which consideration looses it weight when the term is properly understood. If then as we have seen, the business of educating is to [require] build the machinery of thought and that is language and especially our own vernacular, is it necessary to study the ancient languages to perfect it? Permit me to use an illustration Suppose I am about to construct a complicated machine to be applied to important uses, and hence needs to be strong polished and perfect in all its parts. It is to be composed of various different materials perhaps iron, steel brass, silver & gold. To construct this machine, I have. given me. a vast lump of metal, a [a] compound of all these. Now what course will the intelligent machinist pursue? For one part he needs the massiveiron, for another, the fine compact steel; one part needs the polished silver, and another, the flashing gold, and some would need the compound. I opine he would need to know the properties of each metal when pure, also their strength when compounded, and then when one part needed the virgin gold he would take it in the pure and use it there. and so with the others. Hence he must go to the mine, and get the pure metal to find out its properties. Now for the application. Our language is a compound, whose ingredients were taken from the mines of antiquity. The Anglo-Saxon is the basis, but most of our scientific & technical terms, are from the Greek & Latin, either directly or indirectly. Now we need terms for narration, history, logic and [vocab] glowing verse. Hence some words must be strong, some stately, others brilliant & flashing.. Now where shall we go to test the power, purity and properties of the words we use? Like the intelligent metallurgist, we should seek the mountain, whence the native ore was dug. Then can we build an engine, strong and beautiful, and perfect in every part. Hence the difference between a classical & unclassical style of speaking & writing. The first exhibits a close discrimination in the use of words, and a power of expressing the most delicate shades of thought, while the latter betrays a want of both these. But some one will say "There are very many eloquent speakers, and elegant writers, and powerful reasoners, that have never studied the classics, and they instance Franklin, and we might mention Bro Emett, as another example. But in regard to such, I would ask, what would they have been, by the addition of the classics? There are men of genius, who rise above every surrounding obstacle, but it would be unsafe to apply the same remark to the world in general. For my part, I need all the aids that literature affords. Well then with this machinery carefully constructed of the proper material, we are ready for the work of thought, the acquisition of useful knowledge. Then comes the readings of the productions of great minds by which we are to enrich and embellish the mind. The authors of nearly all these works have drinked at the fountain of classical literature, and beautiful and enlivened their works by the spirit and genius of the ancients The brightest gems of English Literature, sparkle with the light of former days. Milton, Cooper, Young and Pollak, would not have been immortal names had Homer never turned his lyre to the numbers of the Grecian [Abuse?]. How then shall we understand and appreciate such authors, and still more how could any one hope to write such works, without a thorough acquaintance with the classics also. But this remark is not confined to Poets merely. It applies to nearly all sacred literature the works of Luther, Homer, Bulter, Campbell, and a host of such mighty men.Is it a legitimate argument against the study of the classics to say "Why has Our Heavenly Father left me for two thousand years without this means of improving our minds" ? ---- Might we not also with the same propriety ask: "Why did he leave us, for five thousand years without the art of printing, by which his word, and and all the works of the good have been given to the world"? It seems to me that the ways and means of accomplishing all human undertakings are left for man to choose and often to invent--- I have presented these considerations, only for the sake of eliciting truth, and they seem to mind a legitimate and valid reasons why a few years should be spent in requiring a knowledge of the Ancient not Dead Languages. There are many other reasons I think in favor of them, but I must not commense any more. I have to blame myself that I do not make these studies more pleasing to the classes, [but] and I hope they will censure me, not the classics--- I hope to hear from you again freely, fully & rigidly upon this subject. Let us seek the truth in the love of it. How flourishes your school rhetorically &c.? With the kindest regards, I am your brother James.[*[Williamstown Mass] Hiram Ohio*] Hiram Jan. 16th, 1854. My Brother Your last I did not receive until the evening of the 13th consequently you will of course pardon me for not replying sooner. You request a reply full and free, and this I will endeavor to make it. Your illustration was very apt truly. He who before commencing to construct such a price of machinery would go to the native bed of each metal he is about to use, and having obtained [a] specimens in their purity determine by a chemist's skill their peculiar properties, would surely know how to use them most advantageously to the perfection of his work, and had no metallurgist or chemist lived before him it would be the only way by which he might obtain a knowledge of them. But as it is the privilege of every individual to profit by their discoveries and inventions of those before them, and instead of travelling over the same ground again, going thru same round of experiments striving to find out what is already known to take the advantage of their labors-- allow me to ask - Would it not be the wiser part for him to rely on the skill and judgement of those who have already 12visited the mountain where lies buried the treasures of the mine - tested their [properties] purity and learned their properties and value? Rather - would you not consider him unwise who would thus attempt himself to find out what has required the united efforts of many for long years to learn before he would commence to build his machine? A strange piece of incredulity you would surely pronounce him who would thus trust nothing [to] obtained by the research of others. Now carrying out the application may we not with the same rationality [conclude] question the wisdom of him who refusing to be guided by the teachings of those who from the "mind of Antiquity" have dug out its hidden wealth and told its value and use, determines rather to dig and examine for himself that he may know the exact quality of every material with which he would fabricate the enginery of thought - Language? We have many able lexicographers who have carefully sought, and closely examined the various ingredients entering into the composition of our language, and if we were to study their works with the same earnestness that we pour over Latin and Greek might 've not in much less time obtained as correct and thorough a knowledge as we ever can from those sources? You may laugh at the idea of [studying] learning eloquence from a Dictionary. So do I. But why not as soon as from the lexicons of other languages? You question the legitimacy of [my] the argument contained in my query "Why our Heavenly Father left us for two thousand years without this means of improving our minds"? and doubtless you may. Still I cannot feel the force of your rejection of it in the question you propound "Why did he leave us for five thousand years without the art of printing one?" and in your statement "That the ways and means of accomplishing all human undertakings are left for man to choose, and often to invent". which is very true; but could be either have chosen or invented this means previous to the confusion of tonques? It was needful that adversity of languages be given by the Creator before [he] man could devise their exquisition as a way for the improvement of his minds faculties. But so in reference to the finding art or any of the inventions which now bless the world. All the materials necessary to the construction of a printing press or a steam engine existed in as high a state of perfection at man's creation as in the fifteenth or nineteenth centuries. It seems to me an argument of more weight in favor of the classics - the last you mentioned. That all our best and greatest authors have drinked at the fountain of classical literature and beautified and enlivened their works by the spirit andgenius of the orients"---consequently "How shall we understand and appreciate such authors without- a thorough acquaintance with the classics also." There I often feel the need of their aid and that will be one of the strong reasons which will finally determine me - if I ever am determined as I presume I shall be - to continue studying them. You must not censure yourself for my stupidity in not perceiving the beauties of Virgil. The truth is I have never studied Virgil as I ought yet, and if I am permitted to commense again I shall try and be more in earnest about it. Do not despair yet of making me a convert to the classical faith ; for if it is in truth the wisest course to pursue I would know it. I am truly grateful for your reasonings thus far and wherein I have misperceived their force hesitate not to inform me. Indeed I would ask - criticize thoroughly. Gladly will I receive your other reasons should you see fit to present them. I am enjoying my school finely now. Rhetorically it flourishes better than I expected though I am sure you would have laughed heartily had you seen me for about one half hour the afternoon of that dreaded day. Appearances were rather threatening for awhile but finally terminated quite favorably. Now if you complain of my long letter this time you may punish me with an answer twise as long I will receive it very patiently Faithfully your sister : LucretiaJan 16th 1854. Mr. James A. Garfield. Hiram. Ohio.Hiram Jan. 21st 1854. My Dear Sister: Yours of the 16th was duly received with a feeling of "better late than never," and read with interest. My thanks for your frankness in so candidly reviewing the reasoning of my former communication, and I hope you will allow me the same freedom in what I may now write. Some exception to my illustration on the ground that Lexicographers have accomplished the work for us is perhaps a valid one as far as mere words are concerned. I mean the words of our Language; but the main point in that matter is that our English Dictionaries give us only the words of ancient Languages and do not give us at all the idioms and genius. the strength and majesty of those languages. If now, as we both agree, it is necessary to understand the classics in order appreciate the great authors of English Literatureis it not therefore especially necessary to be thoroughly acquainted with the classics, in order to understand the greatest, most classical & profound work in the English Language - Websters Dictionary. It seems to me that no one can understand the etymological portions of that work without drinking from the same classic fount from which its author himself drank. No one feels the force of a Latin or Greek word, till he first reads it in the stately prose, or harmonious verse of of a Latin or Grecian writer. Now these languages have been carried to a high degree of protection. Hence it still seems to me that if we would understand fully the purity, genius & idioms of our own language we should first understand the native, genius and idioms of those Languages whence ours was taken. Concerning our "Heavenly Father's leaving us for two thousand years without this means of improvement," and my remark that "He had also left us without the art of printing &c" and your objection that "the cases are not parallel," because man could not have chosen this means of improvement before the confusion of tongues," I would say: It seems to me that this circumstances of those before the confusion of tongues did not require the knowledge of language, that men of the present day demand. Their binded sphere of knowledge demanded but a small stock of words and their machinery of thought was of course very simple; but when mind took up its mighty march and required a broader field, then The Almighty in His goodness, although a seeming chastisement, gave every man a language and scattered the seeds of thought over the whole earth - These sprouted and ideas grew, and since that hour the man that has known the most of Languages has possessed the most sparkling diamonds God has always furnished the means of man's improvement as soon as they were needed I confess that my illustration does not hold good in all its parts, but it seems to me to hold true in the desired point. Thus far I have considered the subject in a literary point of view. I wish to examine it in another. But before leaving this I would urge as an argument in favor of classical education, the fact, admitted by all those who have tried the experiment, that no study is so well adapted to the development of all the intellectual faculties as the study of the classics.Mathematics develops the mind in one direction, and it alone makes the mind like a tree with a great limb on one side, which makes the whole tree, crooked and disproportioned The natural sciences develop another class of faculties but let the students, that is well versed in both these approach the Greek verb and disentangle its knotty roots, and he uses a department of his mind, whose halls he has never before trodden. Although he may have been able to commit page after page of his own vernacular, demonstrates the most obtuse propositions of mathematics. Enter the field of theory and philosophy and analyze the silver web of light into its seven gold and purple threads; yet when he analyzes, comprehends and correctly translates one glowing page of a Roman or Grecian poets, he has played upon cords of his mind that have never before been strung. Is not this your own experience? It is mine, and I think is almost universal --- If then we would develop the minds whole power, should we not avail ourselves of the best means known to men of experience and judgment ? --- But the end (of this sheet) is at hand, and my letter waxes long - I am glad you are Rhetorically enjoying fair weather. I suppose about this hour (3 o'clock P.M.) you are enjoying a "feast of reason and a flow of soul". I had a strong inclination to visit your school this afternoon, but when I [?] the terms of admission I abandoned the idea -- How pass with you the hours of this winter ? Does you mind ever incline to chase the tossing bubbles of ambition? Do you revel in a world of imagination or are you a citizen of a matter-of -fact world?--- Now of course you will continue to use plainness in recovering my work, for the correctness of which, I can only say : It seems so to me- With the best wishes & the kindest regards, I am. Sincerely your brother James[*Hiram Ohio*] Hiram. Jan. 20th 1834 Kind Brother: Were it on the field of combat I was standing before you - my great powerful brother - I should most surely "Surrender arms" and acknowledge you Victor without further contest, but as it is when with you for a guide, and co-seeker after the priceless treasure truth I can appear I will not yet abandon the friendly path of inquiry. I have often heard much said upon this subject both pro and con ; but and have over fell that those opposing a classical education had the better side but I will candidly confess that I am inquiring to see differently and to you I stand indebted for my enlightenment. I know that new energies of my mind have been awakened and that I can think more closely and accurately than I could previous to [the] my studying the classics [but] and I have attributed it entirely to the mental effort I have been obliged to make in the pursuit of them. So far I presume my conclusion was correct : but I had supposed that the same effect might have been produced studying something else. There 8you will say has lain my error, and perhaps you are correct, in truth. I begin to believe you are. I will admit also that in order to understand and feel the force of words of another language we must understand their use in that language - must see them in that language. My old Geography told me that " Ie meant the Earth and Grapho to describe", but when I came to find those words in the Greek they awakened altogether a new feeling and I could see a beauty in the name at least I never saw before. Still I do not yet perceive why it was necessary to the development of ideas and the perfection of thought that a diversity of languages should be given. It seems to me that with one language man by its improvement might have expressed every idea as fully and forcibly as with a dozen. Every word would then have been in its native tongue and not needed to be traced out to find its beauty or force. I may be wrong however. I will now with you examine this subject from another point of observation. Lead on. This winter passes with me not unpleasantly ; still I shall not be sorry when its hours have all flown. I know it is wrong [that] to feel so but cannot avoid it. I see so much to be done as that ought to be done and have so little power to do that I cannot help often feeling discouraged. You ask "if my mind ever inclines to chase the tossing bubbles of ambition"? I wish it did more than it does. Almeda tells me that I have not enough ambition and I do not know but it is so; at least I feel that I am lacking something or else I should be more awake and energetic. Here are bright imageries of fancy enough before me, yes to many ; for they unfit me for dealing with real - the matter of fact - as I should. Pardon me for writing so briefly and disconnectedly; for I feel in altogether a bad humor for writing - even to you - . (May I not hear again soon, and I will try and feel better another time. Sincerely Your Sister : Lucretia.[*Hiram Ohio*] Hiram Jany. 28th 1854 Lucretia: Your very welcome message was received from the hands of the Post Master who made the remark that "She had just heart it drop," but "did not know who dropped it." I am sincerely glad that our views so nearly coincide, upon the important question before us and still more am I pleased if any thing I may have written has elicited any truth, upon it. I can truly say I have been very much benefitted by the correspondence. Your candid & just strictures upon my reasoning has been beneficial to me. It is a fault with me, as you have doubtless noticed to reason too much by comparison or analogy. A good argument is sometimes injured by a poor comparison. Your remarks concerning "Tq" and Tqapeo, I fully appreciate for I have often felt the same. When I was told that "Philander" signified a "friendly man" and "Alexander" "preserver," I did feel the force of it, but when I read upon the pages of Xenophon & Homer of "oi qedor avodges" and of "adegeo" to ward off, to protect, then I could feel that Philander was a "lover of man" and Alexander was his "protector" You have introduced a fruitful field for investigation viz: "why as a diversity of languages given"" Was it necessary to the perfection of thought?" We know in the first place that it was given as a punishment, that the very chastisements of Eve are turned to good account ,and will bless [him] man. The sluggish minds of men needed some necessity placed upon them, some work which they must perform, and they were placed under the necessity of acquiring other languages, which, it seems to me the Almighty chose as the best means of developing the whole power of the mind. The close & constant application which the acquisition of these languages requires, is to the mind what a grindstone is to the mechanics tools, making it ready and acute (Compassion again). Infidels have attempted to account for the present diversity of languages, upon natural principles, and though that position cannot be sustained, yet it must be admitted that there are many things that tend to keep up the differences of dialect throughout the world. A man living in the tropical requires, would never, from nature, need to use the terms "glacier," "iceberg," "avalanche" &c, nor would the Scandinavian need to talk of the palm tree or olive, or any of the beautiful productions of the sunny south. The Laplander would well understand the use of the hunters and fishers terms, but the language of the farmer and herdsman would be like Greek and Latin to him. Hence to my mind there seems a necessity for a diversity of dialects under the present circumstances of the world. But I consider it by no means necessary that this should always exist, for when there shall be universal knowledge (if that happy day ever arrives) then and not till then can there be a universal language. The great men of our day believe that our own dear Saxon is destined to be that language, and it seems to me to be a reasonable conclusion. Have you read Bro. Campbell's Lecture on the "Origin and Destiny of the Anglo-Saxon Languages" It is most a profound and eloquent address and ought to be read by every one. Our vernacular combiners the stateliness of the Latin and the beauty & fire of the Greek & the strength and energy of the pure Saxon, and it only the liquidity of the French and Spanish, to metaphorical beauty of the Oriental (Asiatic) Languages & the philosophical technicality of the grunting Dutch (pardon the expression) to make our the language that shall girdle the world and be the harbinger of Anglo-Saxon enterprise. I must be allowed to differ with you, as to the correctness of the remark that you "have little power to do." Let me ask you Did you every attempt to learn anything that you could not? You speak of ambition. We all shrink with horror from the effects of [unr?] ambition and some almost conclude that the thing itself is wrong-but it seems to me that it is necessary to success in every department of life. It is to the man what the fire is to the steam engine and though the fire be made of shavings and trash, yet it will propel. So with ambition, It urges on to action. So, let it burn Restrain it only by the laws of God. At times I love to beguile a weary lovely hour in revelling among the golden scenes of a favored future, yet I will not allow this to blind me to the sober realities of life. Is this right? I often think of your quiet situation, away from the noise and bustle of the Institution. That you have a fine opportunity for reading & meditation. I hope your "bad humor" will not continue so as to shorten your letters, which I love to read. Being thankful for past favors, may I hope for more! I would be pleased to converse with you through more than the "silent medium" if agreeable to yourself. Excuse [trash?] & believe me, Affectionately James [*Williamstown Mass*] Hiram Jan 31st 1854 James: If this correspondence has proven a benefit to you I am truly glad for I supposed I was the only one benefitted while yours was the task of instructing and convincing-spending time that you perchance felt should be devoted to your own advancement as your [leisure?] hours are few. To me it has been of great advantage, your reasonings have led me to think more closely and clearly than ever before upon this subject, and admitting the truth of your remarks concerning the necessity of something to oblige man to apply his mind earnestly to study - and the power studying different languages has to effect this - which I am rather disposed to grant the more I think of it - I feel more determined than ever to continue to study them. Surely I need the aid that they and all other helps afford, and if from no other source more accessible the same benefit can be derived: then there I must go if life and health are spared. I have read Bro. Campbells address and with you pronounce it truly "profound and eloquent" - characterized by the same vastness of knowledge and fruitfulness of thought which adorns all his productions. he may be cited 10as one who from the Classic fount has long and deeply drunk How far his greatness is to be attributed to its power may however be a question. We can only see him as he is quoting Bro. Earnest "we know not what he might or rather would have been had its waters by him remained untested". Doubtless though no greater or more useful occupying the position he does. That there are natural causes existing which would effect a diversity of dialects is very true but that they are sufficient is produce different languages is an assumption corresponding well with all the others upon which Infidels rest baseless. Then you will present to dispute the correctness of my judgement in regard to my own abilities. I wish you might in truth, you ask if ever I attempted to learn anything that I could not." I know not how it is with you or with [you] others but with myself I find that there is a vast deal of difference between learning and acting. Yes even between knowing how to do and being able to perform. If I am not influenced enough by a just and laudable ambition I would most surely try and arouse it; for there is need enough of all the spirit and energy if rightly directed - one can summon in order to accomplish even the smallest good in this world. Surely to indulge bright thoughts of the future cannot be wrong if they do not interfere with present duties. still how few of our fond dreams are ever realized. We hope, another hour each bud of expected happiness has withered in the dust. Then I ask did its promised pleasure which beguiled a passing hour requite our sorrow at its fill. At times I have almost wished to feel the future all a blank, and let each moment as it comes bring its pleasure or pain. I would not include the Christian's hope - the brightest of all. That is true and lasting, not a meteor light for a moment flashing leaving deeper darkness in its pathway but pure, bright and glorious as the never fading starlight. Such wishes however are all vain. Earthly hopes will rise, and though I know that they may all prove false still I cherish them as true. Perhaps this is the better way if we allow them not their dominion. Poor Mary. One week ago this future to her was doubtless as fair and promising as to any of us; but what is it now. Over it all a shade of sorrow cast. How sad and lonely must she feel. I know the grave holds the form of a Mother - the best and truest friend Earth gives must be as sorrow as deep and dark as humans heart can know. You see my friend laid low in death the heart grows sad ; but when a parent falls how heavy falls the stroke. [?] its weight can only be known by those who have felt it still I can imagine something of its bitterness. It will be my pleasure to converse with you in whatever way you desire ; but one thing remember That I enjoin strictsilence in reference to any thing like fear of me. Sooner let a mountain quake at the presence of an ant hill. If it is still your wish to continue this correspondence I shall most gratefully receive another message whenever it is your wish to be done it. Sincerely: Lucretia.[H??], Friday Eve [J??]? 54? Agioty Furai Your proposition was the expression of a conclusion to which I had already come, and can but meet my hearts consentience - I felt some doubtful concerning the propriety of my last visit, but since the school was not then fully organized. I did not know but it might be allowable in that one instance Speranss s[?]tepissoime videve se, sumi fidissimiL. R. Present Jan 31st 1854 Mr James A. Garfield. Hiram [* Hiram Ohio*] Hiram Oct 11th 1854 Lucretia: Your very kind and welcome letter was duly received, and during the meeting which I attended every time I did not have a spare moment and til now have not written. Today I intended to I could gain admittance to visit your school, but learning with much regret that your health was such that you had been obliged to leave it I take this opportunity of writing a few lines to you. Your reflections concerning Mary's bereavement touched a chord in my heart which responds in unison. The name "Father" I cannot understand I can remember no earthy father, and when I see the eye sparkle with joy at the mention of that name there is a strange feeling of wonder in my heart that any one should feel thus. But I know the word "Mother" It is woven among the fibers of my whole being. The echoes of that name resound throughout the recollections of my earliest childhood, and while I live it will never cease to be sacred. I rejoice to know that Mary's [?] of heaven are bright and joyous. She has a living faith that few possess, and she feels that her dear mother lives, an immortal spirit in the smile of God and the enjoyment of everlasting happiness. And still more, she is weaned from all the fading things of earth, and looks forward to the happy day when she shall again join her mother, unclouded by the storms and tempests of life. What a testimony is this to the glory of the Christian's hope! O may the Christian's life and glorious death be mine! But when I use the word Christian, I mean not the one who wears that name merely. To be a Christian is to be like Christ to have his spiritual imaged daguerreotyped as it were, upon our own hearts and thus carry about ourselves "the marks of the Lord Jesus Christ. And when I reflect upon this I think with sorrow how infinitely short of this I come in my own life. The great work of becoming a Christian is yet before me. I am sorry to know that you are unwell, and hope that you will guard well the "pitcher at the fountain" that it be not too soon "broken." I shall be glad to an opportunity of forming your acquaintance for we seem yet to be strangers. It seems to me but a little matter to know ones name and countenance if we do not know something of the world in which he lives, the objects upon which he gazes, and the thoughts and emotions which they inspire within him. With regard to your "mountain - and - ant -hill" comparison I do not know whether you mean to use a mountain of iron(y) or a mountain of error - I hope you will pardon the meagerness of this hasty epistle. for it hath no merit to plead but brevity - I hope to hear from you again soon Till then I am as ever affectionately James.[*Hiram Ohio*] Hiram. Feb. 12th 18[4]54, James: It is not my custom to spend the sacred holy hours of the Lords day writing to friends, even the dearest; but to day Mother will not let me attend meeting, and I have concluded it might not be my greatest transgression should I spend part of it addressing a few lines, to you in return for your kindness of yesterday. How strangely beautiful that the vision of my childhood appear, as called up last evening by reading your quotation from Solomon. The same thrilling emotions of wonder and delight I again felt which those words first overheard together with those in the conversion commencing with the command "Remember now thy Creator in the days of thy youth while the evil days come not nor the years draw nigh when thou shalt say I have no pleasure in them;" [again I felt]. Though those most striking and beautiful symbols were then unintilligible to me still the impression they left can never be forgotten - erased nor would I have it for the wealth of worlds. It seems to me almost a proof of the Divine inspiration of the Bible [*18*]the depth, strength, and durability, also the pleasing interest of those impressions it makes upon the mind of innocent childhood. Of all the bright pictures which beautify and enliven the halls of morning; the one [n] most strange and pleasing is of a little girl who for the first time is reading the first chapter of Genesis the first of Matthias and other passages of the same thrilling interest, and thought I can scarce recognize in myself now that innocent wondering child; still to veer the diadem of a thousand years, I would not take it from its place among the things that were. I well know how to sympathize with you when [you] reflecting upon the life of the true Christian you compare your own with it and see your imperfections in their red light: If perfection could of mortal be expected - long long ago I should have given up in despair, and even now I often tremble in view of the future as I behold my inactivity, the weakness of my efforts, and the little progress I make in assimilating my character to that of Christ - the only true and perfect pattern; but when I consider the forebearance of God toward us in consequence of the frailty of human nature; his goodness in preparing a way, and providing means for the return of man to his favor, and the [scered?] nearness into which he receives him - acknowledging him a son and joint heir with the sinless one to all his glory; and finally when I remember that there still remains nearest the entry into the "Most Holy Place" the true alter, to which we may approach and pour thereon the incense of our hearts which will ascend a sweet savor to the very throne of the "High and Holy One;" then Hope revives. Faith planes her golden wings and bears me to a glorious future, where "Hope shall change to glad fruition. Breath to sight, and prayers to praise". Bless, though I still feel my self Earth-bound, still surrounded by temptations to which I am too prove to yield - I make one the determination to still shine with increased energy to unloose the fetters of sin, and with the Christians armor panaplied effectually resist the "Adversary of Souls". still I raise to Our Heavenly Father [to] who has promised that he will hearken to the cry of his children - a petition for his aid and guidance; for I feel truly that of myself I can do nothing as I ought. With you my prayer is "May the Christians life and glorious death be mine!" and if wemake this the strong and ruling desire of our lives may we not in truth realize it? Your remarks in reference to Mary's faith were most just. Hers is indeed a "living faith." Among my acquaintance I know not one who possess a firmer reliance upon the promises of the Gospel, or makes more truly its principles a rule of practice. That she will be permitted to meet that Mother in the regions of bliss I cannot for a moment doubt. I wish you would become acquainted with me if you care; then tell me what I am; for I am yet a stranger to myself. I see such strange iirregularities in my nature and feel myself so different from what the world pronounces me that I am a mystery to my self. True every one must be in a measure thus, and perhaps I am no more so than others. Be it as it may I would know myself better and am willing to be known as I am, though my character may present a strange picture. Also I would know others as I am known. Your advice in regard to my health I will try and heed, but if I should not, Mother will! As you consider "brevity" such new excellence I may not be pardonable for trespassing thus long upon your patience; but I have for once only fulfilled the lure your "Whatsover you would that men should do to you, do you even so to them". Truly the same: Lucretia.Feb 12th 1854 Mr. James A. Garfield. Hiram.Virginia Ridge March 2nd 1859 Dear Lucretia: In Muskingum County, fifteen miles below Zanesville and one and a half miles from the Muskingum River, in a large brick house, on a very high hill in a nice little room in the attic story, alone, I am seated to write to you. The day after I saw you, I went to where my home formerly was, and visited my folks there (the Bryntons) but finding that my mother had gone to Solon, I went there and visited her and my two sisters. While in Orange, on Saturday morning, I walked over the lovely farm that was once my home my earliest home. Strange and mingled indeed were my feelings when I stood upon the spot where I was born. That spot which is now covered with dried weeds and dead herbage, is meaningless to the eye of a stranger but not to mine. The old stone backwall to the chimney is still standing, a monument of the dead past and as I stood there and looked upon those stones, it brought vividly to my mind the days of my childhood, when that wall served as a screen against which the blaze of the log fire was leaping and crackling, in which I traced a thousand fantastic figures of giants on fiery steeds, and hosts embattled for war, in all the wild imaginations of a childish fancy. I again [seemed?] tumbling upon the floor with brother and sisters and the forms of playmates and friends long dead seemed to stand before me. The intervening years seemed to have dropped out, and I was ten again. But the wind came moaning among the old Orchard trees, sighing, the dirge of departed years, and youth-vision was gone. Early friends stalked away to the graveyard or to distant lands, youth grew hoary, and the hoary died, and I was alone a young tree among the dead pines. But my heart still clung to the dear old spirit & I embraced that old time worn wall almost with affection. Perhaps you consider this a weakness, and probably it is but I cannot help it. On Monday my mother and I went to Cleveland, and took the cars for Zanesville via Columbus at which latter place we arrived in five hours from the time of starting. Staid there with a cousin of mine one day and night but on account of the bad roads we did not visit the State Institutions but we intend to do so on our return which will be in about one week from this time. Yesterday we took the cars for Zanesville and thence to Blue Rock by Steam Boat My Cousin Ellis Ballon is at College in Athens, Athens County about 30 miles from here. I intend to visit him in a few days and for the sake of [recruiting?] my health and seeing the country. I shall go across the country of horseback. My health is improving every day and my throat, I trust, will get rested sufficiently to carry me through with the next terms' labor. Lucretia, I am very glad we have had the opportunity of conversing, and have improved it as we did at our last interview. In my memory, that will ever be a bright spot. There has heretofore been a bar beween us that has not given us that freedom. That should [suffice?] were between school mates. I hope it is takin away. It is my earnest desire to "know & be known." I fear you do not know me. As you said in your last kind and thrice welcome letter which you handed me, I am terrified when I behold the strange inconsistencies of my nature. And when I behold it leaping and bounding I scarcely known whitherward, yearning for something. I know not what, filled with high resolves with holy aspiration with earnest desires to live for God and Eternal Life, and then coming so infinitely short of living the life. I almost at times doubt my own honesty, and even question whether the love of God is in my heart. For if a man is to be judged by his fruit, where shall I stand? It is only those promises of which you spoke that buoys me up. That evening I sketched to you very briefly the facts concerning my past history in a social point of view, and I wish now to say, if I did say it then, that my reasons for breaking off from 'That intimacy (for it was never any thing more) were not from any consideration that I had another in view, for such was not the case. At that time I felt myself entirely cut loose from the world of womankind and felt like always remaining so. At any rate I determined from that hour be master of my heart's affections, and let my better judgment be sole arbiter of my hearts empire - For months I struggled against any rising of affection towards you, till I had thought as coolly & candidly as my acquaintance would permit. On this basis I love you with my hearts warmest affections, and it fills me with joy to know that in some degree (I know not what) that love is returned, from a heart proves than mine - Thus stands the case, and in it all, I pray God to give us wisdom to do that which is righteous in His sight - I wish to do nothing without the cosideration - and whatever be its issues, I desire to take that course, which we shall both approve, when many years have fled - The stern realities of life must be considered with serious thoughtfulness. I have almost wondered that I had the boldness to turn my thoughts toward you, I whose future is yet so uncertain, and whose past is so comminglest, and am very feebly battling the world with naked hands, and without a home - and though I know your noble heart will not rest down, upon [such] any sinister considerations, yet, what I have said concerning myself is true - well it is also true, that a cold, cold world must be looked in the face - But I long to hear from you, and still more to see you, to know your heart, and open mine to you, for though you have it now, I fear you do not know its contents The whole subject is one of Life's most serious problems, and above all things, the heart's affections should be planted upon a basis which neither fancy, nor the flight of years will ever destroy, and which will remain when youth with all its charms has gone and the corroding cures of life press heavily upon the time-worn spirit - Then when the heart needs solace, there should be a well of pure affection, deep as our beings and lasting as Love itself. - It seems to me that [all] the storms of Life require in [the] man, all this cultivation of mind and heart all the reliance upon God & all the strength of resolution and determination of which our poor natures are capable, to buffet them and make straight our pathway upon its troubled and the soul turned upward to God for succor - I hope to find a letter from you in the Blue Rock, P. O. to day when I carry this. If you should write to Columbus, immediately upon the reception of this. I should get it there. I hope you will find it in your heart to do so. "[Greek letters] With the warmest love. I am yours affectionately James. [*You percieve I have followed the "golden rule". "Do thou likewise. J.*]Miss. Lucretia Rudolph Hiram O.[*Columbus Ohio*] Hiram, March 3rd, 1854 Dear James: This is a strange strange world and as I glance over its wide spread fields I notice strange scenes being enacted actions, which I can no way comprehend and occurrences most mysterious. Each individual commences existence in once sense an independent being. He stands alone, and, a pathway is before him entirely new beyond where mortal has ever yet traveled, and to himself and all the world unknown. He has friends about him and realizes not but that their road is one with his. He travels on a few years til childhood's flowery way is passed, and now the bright rivers of youth begin to cast about him their enchantment. His heart bounds with delight as he views the [gather] prospect golden with pleasure before him and time lags upon the wing until he may enjoy it. But as he approaches those visions fade and now [far] perhaps for the first time he looks about him for those friends who were his first companions One is father, another whose path he thought very near his own is now far away, and of all those who are now about him perchance not one was the sharer of hischildhood sports. He wonders at the change and passes on with a saddened heart. He may find many others with whom for a while he can walk beside, share all their joys and sorrows, and feel himself one with them; but by and by their paths diverge, and others take their place. This is but a common phase of human life. Another I notice which is quite as universal. Almost every person finds one from among the many who cross his path [ ] with whom by an institution. Heaven ordained: he unites his destiny for life. This would seem a most beautiful arrangement - that when earthly hopes were fading, friends departing there was still one left to cheer with the kind voice of affection and brighten life's pathway with the smiles of never dying love. But what do I see in the place of this happiness so much desired and expected. Alas! sorrow, misery the deepest darkest earth can know. I ask the reason. It is but too evident. This relation which was designed to be the most sacred and holy of life is entered into without a real and serious thought either of the step taken or the responsibilities incurred. Entirely ignorant of the character of each other of their hopes and their desires they often find to their sorrow and regret no sympathy existing between them. Here allow me to become a little more personal in my reflections, and I [ ] pardon me though I speak very plainly. Our last interview was one which I had hoped might be further in the future; for I feared that we might be yet ignorant of our own hearts, and know that our acquaintance with each other was scarcely commenced; and as I believed you would never marry anyone until you were acquainted with them, and knew I would not myself I wished the entrance to "matrimonial bliss" might remain triple barred until time and circumstances should consummate a due acquaintance; for then should we find that we could not with united hearts pass its threshold as friends we might still regard each other while no [surplus?] [?] associations would be encroaching themselves upon us. But I feel now that perhaps I was wrong; for that confidence which is necessary to forming such an acquaintance could never have been obtained standing as we did merely friends. Therefore I regret not the position I have taken. Two resolutions I have long since made, and by them I am determined to stand. The first is doubtless one of every rational being viz. That I will never give my hand to one who has not my heart. The second- That I will with- hold my hand even from the one I love should I be convinced that by bestowing it I should in any way lessen the little power I possess of benefiting others, or cause myself to serve less faithfully my Savior. It was this last consideration which induced me finally to discontinue my acquaintance with Albert. I saw no hope of his ever becoming a Christian, and I knew that I could not lead the life I ought bound to one who was not. In the first place I ought never to have loved him but for some reason I know not what I did. I believed his character good, and had it proven so I would still cherish for him a sister's regard, but now I cannot. I can only try and think kindly of him and hope that he may reform. I have written but little, though this sheet is nearly covered, and I do not wish to write more until I hear from you. Circumstances unpreventable have prevented my writing before consequently I direct to Columbus as I fear it would not reach Blue Rock before you leave. Hoping that I may both see and hear from you soon. I will add no more at present. Faithfully your: Lucretia[*March? 54?*] Hiram Frid, Mar Mar-1-54 Dear Lucretia, I am just going and cannot see you first - If I go to the south, I shall go to Blue Rock first - Will you write for the first 8 days to Blue Rock after that to Columbus - Let there be no bar to the utmost freedom in our communications. Please do write and remember the love of Your unworthy James Eignvn cor - J - [1854?] Butler Wayne Co N.Y. July 3d Dear Lucretia:- In the home of "Corydons Mary" I am seated this beautiful moon- lit evening to write to you; and how the cloud-shadows flee and the soul sun- light rises upon my otherwise lone spirit when I remember that hundreds of weary miles away there is one heart that some- times throbs for me- one at least that has not forgotten that I live This thought is worth more to me than a mine of purest gold This sympathy of a kind heart that beats in unison with my own either in sunlight or gloom would be dearer to me than any earthly bestowment But a history of my wanderings may not be wholly uninteresting to you At one o'clock I left Hiram, the home of many loved and looning ones andthe spot around which the holiest recollection must ever cluster and call back the way worn spirit from life's busiest tumult to live them o'er again. But there are sad thoughts that also linger there, which I would fain forget, or would rather wish had never been. But this "vain, the past can never give back" is written or rewritten -- But where is my history --? -- We arrived at Bro Soules about sunset. The next morning Harvey and I went to Chester and attended the disciples meeting. They have a fine congregation and they are in good spirits. After meeting, we visited the old Seminary "A pile," which "without inhabitant to ruin runs." The gate was nailed up and the flowerbeds along the gravel walks were overgrown with weeds, and the flowrets that bloomed among them looked like the smile left on the features of dead. The old steps were rotting down piecemeal, and the building is brown and gloomy as if clad in the garb of mourning. We approached. The front door lazily swung open upon its rusty hinges. The footsteps Desolation had trodden the halls. The old Chapel now silent and alone, seems but a little toy shop in size. but looking upon it seemed like opening the sepulchral home of the buried dead. I turned away heartsick and sad, and said in my heart "How are the mighty fallen." "Sic transit gloria mundi." We returned, and in the evening I spoke to the brethren in Russell. The next morning I went to visit my dear Mother and sisters. I visited with her and my friends till Thursday morning when I started for Cleveland. Mother could scarcely bear the thought of having me leave her to be gone so long and so far away. You can know something of my feelings upon leaving her. She told me that all the emotions of her soul had been concentrated in to one feeling-the love for her children and more it seemed as if her heart was to be divided painfully between her scattered offspring -- I am not a believer in premonitions and strange impressions - but something whispers to me that I shall never again see that dear mother upon the shores of Life. However tis only a fang. At one o'clock I was in Clevelandand stopped at that same "Forest-City-[?]" of former days- At 8 o'clock in the evening I was on board the splendid steamer "Queen of the West" en route for Buffalo. Twas a starless night of thickest darkness. At the solemn hour of midnight I stood upon the deck. There was no gleam of light save when the fins of [?] came flashing [?] the sky and tinged with fire the white waves of dashing foam, and disclosed to view the forms of schooners breasting nobly the roaring surge - "Splendel- tremulo sub lumine pontus." But our gallant bark moved on, heeding not the wrath of the angry elements. I could gaze for hours upon such a scene as that. Between six and seven next morning we were in Buffalo, and in one hour more I listened to the thunders of Niagaras dread water. Of my visit there I cannot now speak. But I remained 24 hours at the house of a friend and had a very fine time. At 8 o'clock on Saturday morning I was again in the cars and in the afternoon reached the residence of Edward S. Craw, an old student at Hm. I attended the Disciples' meeting in the forenoon and spoke to them a little. While there who should come in but Corydon and his Mary!! I think she is really his. She is a noble young lady. I accompanied them to her beautiful home where I am now above in the chamber writing to you while they are in the parlor below. As it will be somewhat dangerous travelling on the Fourth, I shall not leave here till Wednesday morning. I feel the necessity of re[?]ing my energies which I find are somewhat relaxed. I think I shall therefore accompany Corydon to N.Y. City and to his school and shall not commence study for one week yet. I am anxious to sail down the Hudson the Rhine of America and visit the largest city on the western Continent. I hope to find a letter from you when I reach Williamstown and often to be cheered by your messages. I hope you will excuse this historical letter, for in the bustle of travel I have hardly had time to think. Hoping to hear from you very soon I am, Dear Lucretia, Affectionately as ever, JamesHiram, July 10th, 1854 Dear James: Saturday evening bore to my waiting hand your little bright winged messenger, and so faithfully did it [?] to me the sacred trust committed to it that I hope it may often have intrusted to it the like mission of kindness. I was somewhat surprised truly to learn that you were visiting the home of "Corydon's Mary" as I was not expecting that any of us would so early be favored with an acquaintance with the wonderful lady. You pronounce her noble and I am glad; and also think she is really Corydon's-may it be so. I had sometimes almost feared lest another Mary Ashburton she might figure in the romance of Corydon's life making his the sad story of Paul Hemming's disappointed love. [?] I trust not, and hope also that in his true character he has been revealed to her that the future may not leave a blight upon her hopes. Corydon I presume speaks to you with the same confidence as ever and doubtless of his plans and expectations you are well apprised; how far I may know them you of course will decide. Your "Historical letter" needed no excuse for to me it was very interesting especially that part referring to your visit at "Chester". It seems sad andstrange that any place with prospects as favorable as Chester afforded five years ago should so soon present such a picture of desolation. Thus have all my hopes built upon "friendships there formed perished and gone down to the mouldering dust of death. Still I mourn not; they were groundless and could never be realized. Those visions bright with a golden future were but illusions and it is well that they faded ere I was lead further by their delusive fascination. Well yes very well: for in their stead has risen - not the baseless fabric of a vision, but a bright reality. Not the mere hope that the future will bring the approbation of friends, and above all else the awakening of the one I love to the high and holy interests of a life which shall insure happiness outliving this transient existence and [?] with Eternity, but the happy realization of it all. Then let buried hopes sleep to know no resurrection morn. I am glad to learn that the little church of Disciples in Chester still flourishes. The truth will triumph wherever it goes, while error and superstition must sink into oblivion. If Bigotry had not stained such deep root in Chester I believe their Institution might have remained with prospects fair as ever. It must have been truly painful to you to leave your Mother with the sad impression resting on your mind that you would meet her not in this life again. I trust it was but an imagination, and that you may long be blessed with the counsels prompted by the strong enduring love of that fond Mother. I am spending vacation hours very pleasantly thought I must confess a sense of loneliness sometimes steals over me as I think of the long miles that have borne you from my side and of the many days and even months that must be numbered ere we meet again. Will I do not indulge such thoughts but drown them in the multiplicity of my present duties, or cast them in the shade of some bright vision of the future. I am really a woman of business this summer and if there is any necessity of my diminishing the organ of Continuity of my examin[?] I am sure I shall accomplish it. The morning hour I devote to housework which in and of itself consists of occupations almost numberless, and sewing; after dinner I spend an hour or two practicing Music, and then read Virgil or visit [?] after which I am variously occupied but generally employ part of the time reading. I have finished "Hyperion" and am now reading a new book Wilber sent me for perusal "The Plurality of Worlds". I have not read enough yet to be able to say very much about it, think however I shall be much interested with it. I have read only 412 lines of Virgil yet but, I am hoping to accomplish more now as I am getting pretty well started, I commenced the fourth book of the Aneid Saturday. This evening I have attended a Temperance meeting which has rather interrupted by writing as I was getting quite the spirit before I left, still I am not so much out of it yet but that I can finish this page for you, although "Orbern medium nor horis acta nibibat". The night is so beautifully fair that I would sooner far linger through all its hours in sweet communion with you though it be but through this silent medium, than lose myself in the land of forgetfulness and of dreams, Doubtless it would interest you to know what temperance monument is being made now, you know the people of Hiram are not very easily aroused but get them thoroughly awake, and they are sufficient for any undertaking especially when "Our Norman" stands at the helm. He with several others have become a good deal aroused at the proceedings of "The Merchant", and yesterday before the close of meeting he (with Carsle) made a few remarks suggesting the propriety of calling a meeting to find out if possible whether any measures could be taken for the removal of the evil. A meeting was appointed for this evening. There was quite a large number in attendance and after the reading of the law on this subject and a statement of what was being done [?] - by several of the citizens as far as came with their observation, a committee of vigilance consisting of six were authorized to be appointed by the Pres, of the chair, - N. Dansher - also a Prosecuting committee of three, and a subscription of something over $800 was raised to indemnify the Prosecutors. Also a resolution [was] passed that if nothing could be accomplished by the law, other suitable means should be resorted to, to effect this, This we are indulging strong hope that something effectual will yet be accomplished. - Pers. and Sister Hayde returned from their southern trip Saturday. Sister H pronduces the commencement exercises at Bethany altogether is fairer to those of our little Eslectie. She says that she fears frie at Philip will not be at all satisfied there and she would not wonder if he be decided to remain here for a while yet. I hope so really for I find Philip a worthy friend and am sorry to have him leave. - I have visited the Seminary once since the close of school, and as I closed behind me the door of the "Lover Chapel" and stood close within its walls low secreted by the awaredness of its associations - strange and uneratterable were the emotions that filled my sould. Dearly "Like one who treads alone some banquet hall deserted, whose lights are fled whose garland dead, and all but he departed", - did I pass through those laws aisles, scattered here a Stone over the black boards were the tredings of a familiar hand still lingering to tell the tale of former dens. All else was vacancy, and soon I turned away with a sad heart. - I suppose ere this you have reached your destined place and may I not very soon receive from the Eastern gales another message from you as I am anxious to hear what are your impressions of it, expectations me? Also please not [to] forget to continue the description of your journey, and your visit with Corydorn; I hope to hear your health much desrnited by your trip, and trust you will guard well both the "Pitcher at the fountain" and the "golden bowl". Adieu. With the truest Affection: Lucretia.I wish to honor Streus' sons Of Cadmus wish to sing But love alone my lyre resounds Upon its trembling strings. I lately changed the fitful chords And changed the harp entire To sing the toils of Hercules, But "Love" replied the lyre. Farewell, henceforth ye heroes bold Your praise no more I'll sing For love alone is in my lyre And love resound its strings. Excuse "Illiteralities" J -JULY Ohio Mr. James A. Garfield Williamstown, Mass.Williams College July 15th 1854. Dear Lucretia: Your most welcome letter is just received and I sit down to write in return. How anxiously I have watched each mail to see if it would not bring a welcome word from Ohio. When I reached this place Last [Monday] Tuesday (10th) I found three letters for me which I read with much satisfaction. One was from Almeda, and was laden with sympathy, good wishes and good advice. She has ever been a faithful sister to me. Since then I have been at the office twice a day, and have received no token of remembrance till this hour. I need not tell that I was thrice glad to receive your letter. On Wednesday morning (5th) after I wrote you from Butler, Congdon and I took the cars and that evening were in Albany the "Ancient City of the Knickerbockers." Congdon and Mary both talked plainly to me of their affairs, and I to them. I told Mary (though she had already heard a faithfulaccount from Wealthal of all the peculiarities of Congden and that I did not come as an intercessor, but I know that they are one in all respects except the legal sanctions. The time is indefinite. Congden says he feels as though he had something to live for, and is determined to live so as to make himself worthy of her. I trust he may, and I can but believe that there is a goodness about him which has sometimes seemed questionable. I have forgotten whether I intimated in my other letters my intention of spending some time in recruiting any health. But I concluded to do so. On Wednesday evening we stepped aboard the Steamer "Hendrick Hudson" and were soon plough the calm bosom of that noble river. It has truly been called the "Rhine of America." Standing upon the upper deck we enjoyed the glories of a sunset scene. The broad river looked like a silver scarf girding the earth between the giant hills. As the sun sank behind those western sentinels it fringed their tops with gold and stained the skies with crimson. Our boat glided like a queen upon the mirrored waters while her 1500 passengers were gazing with delight upon the castles crowned hights, the fields of waving grains, and the scores of quaint hamlets scattered along the banks. I almost fancied I could see the tall forms of Hamilton and Burr standing upon the shore, as they closed up the orchard platform. And, by then every, where as "Mrs. Hamilton" and her expected husband??? But it is useless in the short space of a letter to attempt a description of that mighty river with its many associations - The next morning we were landed in New York the Metropolis of the Western Continent. We spent that day in visiting the Famous Crysal Palace where are all the species of the productions of nearly every clime under the sun. That immense structure built of cast iron and glass is certainly a triumph of Art, that our nation may well be proud of. We visited also Barnum's Museum - a little world of curiosities and the Tribune Printing Press which runs off 10.000 papers per hour. The next day we visited Greenwood Cemetery on Long Island. That is a most delightful spot - a place for serious and sober meditation. There was only two men [*Tell me of your successes in Virgil and music. I hope Philip will stay another terms - He is a noble soul, and you will find him a true friend. Jamessuch cemeteries in America. "Mount Auburn" near Boston, and Laurel Hill near Philadelphia. A large forest several miles in circuits laid off in circular walks and interspersed with large artificial fountains, and adorned with the richest shrubbery whose branches are continually stirred by the cool breezes of the Atlantic, forms the last resting place of the departed. We lingered several hours among the tombs of Poets, Orators, statesmen and Warriors, and thousands of humbler name - and sat beneath the cooling shade of the weeping willows that bend their branches, above their marble homes. Would that you could have been there and roamed with us through those halls of the departed - At three o'clock in the afternoon we started again and in two or three hours were in Corgdon's New Jersey home. I staid there till Monday (10th) roaming over the places where Washington lead his patriot army - and getting an inkling of Jersey society till I am sunburnt as a Mohawk. On Sunday I listened to the long drawn but, I suppose, orthodox groans of[*JAG TO LR 1854 JL 15*] the "Dutch Reformed" (!!) Minister of whom Coyden has written so much. I must certainly commend Coyden's patience in enduring it so long as he has. With an elongated face and a longer sermon he "fed his flock" upon the wholesome doctrine of "Original Sin", and "Fore-Ordination." The next morning I went to N.Y. and that evening took a Steamboat for [Lonp?] where I found myself next morning when I awoke, 50 miles distant from my suppestable. By cars and stage I arrived that afternoon, at Williamstown - It is a quiet little village sleeping in the verdant lap of the Green Mountains, - and just about on all sides by pmi-clad peaks that tower to the skies in their primeval grandeur. I have not yet been around much, and hence know but little of the place. Within three hours after my arrival I was examined in the Mathematics, Homer, Xenophons Memorabilia, Livy & Horace, and permitted to enter the junior year, but I am to bring up Mensuration and Conic Sections - I came at an unfavorable6 time for they are in the bustle of preparing for commencement, and it is difficult to get a place to board and room. I regret that I came so soon, for I might have entered the junior class just as well next September, and saved a considerable expense. But it will not pay to go back and then return. When I learn more of the Institution I will particularlize. I think they are very thorough. I am very glad to learn that the people in Hiram are awaking to the subject of Intemperance as it has been so much annoyance to the school & destructive to the interests of society, I sincerely hope they will rid themselves of that Mercatorial pest, for he has long been an injury to the community. Your mention of that "Lower Chapel" brings back to my mind a thousand recollections, for it has been my home for many months. I would love to see it this calm afternoon - I must confess that I feel very much alone here. My heart clings so fondly to the friends I have left behind that I can scarce bear the thought that I am separated from them and cannot enjoy their society. I want you to write very often. Any of the proceedings at Hiram will be interesting to me. Follow the example of this in respect length. I will try to know more of the Institution next time than I do now. Hoping to hear from you again very soon. I am most affectionately JamesMiss Lucretia Rudolph Hiram Portage C. Ohio[*Williamstown Mass*] [*[JL 24,1854]*] Hiram, Monday morning 4 o'clock, July [?] Dearest James: Dawn with her rosy finger has yet scarce tinged the East with her crimson glow to herald the approach of day's glorious king, as I now set myself to the pleasant duty of answering your last kind favor, rec Saturday evening-the eve of former weeks. I arose this morning at an earlier hour to prepare breakfast for Dr. Goodrich who has just started for the east to claim the hand of his lady!! Yes, another week and our halls will be graced with the presence of Lady Goodrich. You inquire after "Lady Hamilton" and her expected spouse. She awakened a good deal of curiosity here truly but the last report [still] pronounced her still twain. [John?] did not reach here 'til Wednesday evening which excited some wonder as Ellen was expecting to leave Monday. But that was owing the to fact that one of his classes was not examined until Tuesday which if he left would deprive him of his Diploma. Thursday they went to her home as we all supposed to be married but returned Friday on their way to Bethany still unmarried. Then the story was that the knot was to be tied at Bethany but Bro. Hayden's people say that was not so, since then we have heard nothing. I suppose they understand themselves if we do not. I believe I have given you all the matrimonial information I am in possession of at present. I am glad for Corydon that he has found one trusting heart which can love him truly and devotedly knowing his eccentricities, and if Mary's is a true and noble spirit Corydon's will be also; for much of native goodness as he may possess I think that perhaps in too great a measure it is overruled by the influence of friends; therefore a double necessity is laid upon him of making the good his companions. -- Yesterday the intelligence came of the death of Sister Robinson of Russell. How often it is that families surrounded by all that wealth can give and seemingly situated to enjoy the best of this life are made to drink deeply of afflictions bitter cup by the hand of the Destroyer robing their hearth-stone of its brightest jewels. I wonder not that Bro. Soule willingly forsakes his pleasant home in Russell for a dwelling place among the western wilds if by doing so he feels to insure the life and health of his remaining family. Bro. Hayden preaches the funeral sermon; and from there he starts on a western tour. A part of his business is to try and secure the assistance of Bro. Ross of Indiana as a teacher this fall. Br. Arnold visited Hiram about two weeks since, but did not altogether meet the expectations of the President I suppose as he did not engage him entirely. He called here a few moments in the evening, and though I confess it rather rash to give my opinion so hastily still to you I will say that I was not remarkably prepossessed in his favor, perhaps however a view by day light would impress me more favorably. I think Bro. Hayden is becoming quite a "Noseologist" as one of his objections to him was that his nose was too short. Sad pity! Monday evening -- We have been almost fearing that he should fail of getting Bro. Munnell as the Church at Sharon were quite determined not to relinquish their claim, Today however he came here and says that if no other teacher can be procured to fill his place he must come of course, and so I think he will come for I am sure that other one cannot be found -- Almeda promised me a letter which I have not yet received, but trust I shall soon as I am anxious to hear how she is pleased now with Oberlin. Philip visited her at her home the week after school closed, and told me that she had then a strange project in her head; viz, not to return to Hiram but go west when she had finished her course, she was trying to persuade her Father to sell his place and Philip thought she was really in earnest aboutit; but the old gentleman would rather than she should come back to the Eclectic. What shall be my future course I am wholly undecided. I had almost determined that I would go through with a gentleman's full course; but your remark in reference to it at our last interview rather disconcerted my plan. I knew it would not be prudence for me to attempt this in the same time that many could. Still by allowing sufficient time I see no reason (unless it be my mental incapacity which I suppose you would say I do not believe) why I may not accomplish it. [?] it might not be in three or even four years. In reference to that unanswered question thought withdrawn allow me to say - in the confidence which we have promised each other - half [jocarely] half in earnest, that should you wish me before that time to become your wife and I willingly should acquiesce I know not why I might not still study. Sure it has become almost a proverb that when a lady is married she may as well lay aside her books. Still I do not believe it contains very much wisdom after all; and even if it did you know my superior powers would warrant me in being an exception. I trust you will pardon my nonsense. When I report my progress in Virgil for the past week I presume your advise will be to speak a little more modestly though it may serve as a perfect excuse for my not evenopening it for more than a week - that we have been in all the confusion of a regular "House-cleaning" [?ing} up carpets, scrubbing, whitewashing, papering [?], so that I have read only about 150 lines since I wrote before. My success in Music I can scarcely tell. Sometimes I grow almost discouraged - or rather "out of Patience" because I can not advance more rapidly, but that I know is very foolish as I ought to consider that time and a great deal of it too must be spent before much can be accomplished or even a moderate proficiency attained in the performance of instrumental music, especially by one who has not much skill naturally, I practice on the pieces I learned last term and have learned a few pieces in the "[?]" and "The Young Choir" a little book Mr. Burns brought me. I would have enjoyed much a visit with you at Greenwood Cemetery, also a sail upon the Hudson. When I read of the many places beautified and adorned by the combined efforts of both Nature and Art, I can scarcely content myself to remain so quietly at home. My eye longs to drink in their beauty, and my soul to feel their holy influence. But there is beauty everywhere and not in its most inconsiderable forms does it appear among the rolling hills, towering forests, and verdant fields of our own loved Hiram. Enough is even here to make the spirit glad, and raise it in gratitude and holy praise to the Maker and Giver of all. I was much interested with the history of your [?] expedition but whether or not you accomplished its design you did not tell, which would have been quite as interesting to me. I hope when I hear again from you it shall be that youare again well - very well. I think it quite to bad that you must remain unnecessarily through vacation so far away [?] your presence in Ohio would make so many glad hearts; but perhaps it may prove for the best, I believe a great deal in Providence, and that [?] trifles frequently produce the most [? ?] and often circumstances apparently adverse prove the most favorable. You acknowledge yourself somewhat lonely. Remember James, if it affords you any Happiness - that among the many friends whom you have left, there is one whose heart often turns to you in holiest love, and who would gladly cheer a lonely hour with a smile of affection could it be permitted. Trusting that I shall receive soon another long-long letter. I add no more at present. Unchanged in Heart I remain: Lucretia. One thing I like to have forgotten. Cousin Mary Mason requested me to send her love to "Cousin" James; I think she is living too fast. L. Mr. James A. Garfield. Williamstown, Mass.Williams College, July 31th, 1854 Dearest Lucretia - 'Tis a quiet, lovely Lord's Day evening, and I am seated alone in my chamber to respond to your kind favor of the 24th post-marked 26th and rec'd by yesterday's mail. I have listened to two long essays (sermons) read by "Reverend" gentlemen today, and feel nearly exhausted by the effort. I see I am doomed to five hours of misery weekly while I stay here. But I will not make that remark of President Hopkins for neither his written sermon nor sectarian shackles can fetter his noble soul, & I love to hear him, but he only speaks about once in four weeks. The regular minister a broken-down missionary returned from across the seas and settled here. He is a devoted and earnest Christian, but he possessed very moderate powers of mind, and a proven faculty of expressing his thought. In comparison with his, the preaching of our [[?]] Rider would be music to my ears - and in fact I would liketo hear Bro. Rider speak to this people. But one thing consoles me. There are, very frequently, strangers here that speak - and often men of note - This is a solemn, lonely hour. The leaves of the aspen and locust trees that stand near my window, ravaged by the evening breeze, are holding out their trembling hands to the west, and as they beckon thitherward I wander back - and my heart lingers around those happy scenes, and fondly clings to those dear, dear friends - Dear Lucretia, how I would love to rest this head that throbs with pain tonight, upon your own dear bosom, and listen to the beating of your heart - But This cannot be. I have as yet written nothing of my health for I hardly know what to write - I think this is a most delightfully healthy location, but for some reason the atmosphere is different from that in Ohio, so that notwithstanding the warm weather, I have taken cold nearly every night since I came here. F or this reason I have had a severe headache incessantly for the last seven days and my throat is not particularly benefitted by it - But I think I shall yet acclimate soon and then it will all be right. I see I have commenced my letter with a catalogue of some complaints which might as well have been left out. Please don't think I'm sick and mourning - These [thoug] thoughts will steal out impuceptibly - I am well pleased - very well pleased with the College and its Proffessors, and am very glad I determined to come here instead of Bethany - It is said that the last two years', Institution in America The President himself, has the entire charge of the Senior Classes. and they are rigidly thorough I am discussing a question in my own mind upon which I would like your assistance - There will be between this and the close of the next College year 13 weeks of vacation - By using that time to the very best advantage - and be carrying on one or two private studies in term time, I believe I could leap a year - and thus graduate one year from August - Whether that is best, or not is the question - If I conclude to stay two years I think I shall get a school and teach this winter. Then are six weeks of vacation, and by taking three from each adjoining term I can make out a three months' school without -materially affecting my college studies- This will give me a taste of New England society and perhaps of their [m???ey]- I do not feel satisfied merely to carry away the skin of a Massachusetts sheep. but I want to know something of the men- the thoughts that are here. I feel the necessity of breaking throu the shell of local notions, and getting mentally free. I mean no disrespect for the influences & teachings that I have had- but I mean to say that to mould one's mind in one place, and under one system of things must necessarily give it our particular channel, and not that breadth of field that is desirable. This is to my mind an argument for staying two years- but the question has two strong sides- I have commenced reading in the "Olynthyac of Demosthenes, and the "Integral Calculus" These are reviews to the class, but advance for me. Lo I have double their labor. There are some splendid scholars in the class. Many come from Harvard, Amherst and Yale to finish here - [Su???ties], I must confess that those inner fires come surging up through every nerve and fiber of my being in strong desire and strong determination not to stand - at least, last of all- Whether it is right or not. I do not know but they will burn and cannot be quenched till the building falls- [???nor] is not the object for which I labor- but when in a class, I am miserable if far behind- I do not think is is an unholy impulse of [?] guided. certainly it is one deeply implanted in my nature- JAG to LR 1854JL30 5 About you [?] course, allow me to say a few words. I regret that I have ever said anything to thwart your purposes, and I hope you will let no such considerations as I may have presented keep you from any course productive of advantage to you - I felt solicitous for your health, and if that can be secured and retained, the more study the better- I believe that you would be benefitted by breathing another atmosphere after a while - the sooner however, the better - I know you will understand me, that I say nothing against Hiram - This is true of any and every place - No one would be more pleased than I to have you go through a course of study and I certainly hope nay I request that you do not let me stand in the way of that or any of your plans- I presume you could graduate in two or three years - Let me hear from you further on this point. I have recieved a letter from Almeda - She thinks she can get through in one year but is not certain - She wrote nothing about her "Western Fever" I guess it must have been a freak of her fancy - I presume she will return to Hiram, I hopeshe will for the Eclectic's sake for a more powerful and efficient woman than she would be hard to find. You speak of Mr. Arnold. I heard some things after I left Hiram that led me to fear he was not what they needed - and I hope they will not get him. I feel jealous of the Eclectic's interests and anxious that her steps may be only upward and onward - and between you and me, if you will pardon the freedom of my opinions. I do not think that Bro. Rowe will come up to Bro. Hayden's expectations but I hope he may - He is a noble young man and a faithful Christian, but I fear he will fail to adapt himself to the wants of large classes. That is the great point. Then it is time that the doctor's bachelor dreams are really ended, and the bright visions of duality are becoming facts. What, pray tell is first[?] the name of the delectable one, that owns such an extensive "real estate" in possessing the Dr's magnanimous heart? May Joy shed a thousand [?] upon them from her "dewy wings." Friend John ere this doubtless has become a "Bachelor" and as Husband, the first of to second of Ellen. But I presume you can tell me next time whether my conjecture is right or not. I wonder what they propose to do. Pax este cum illis. And where is our good Bro. Norman? Is he teaching and are those halls echoing to the tread of the [?] few that were intending to study during vacation? I talk as if I had been away an age, but it seems a long time. Dearest, shall I not soon find in the office that semblance of yourself - ? I know the kind old sun, some morning soon, will climb above the mountains, and look down at me through this window here, and then hasten on to visit you and take your likeness on a silver plate and then come smiling back to me next day to let me thank him. I would say many things, but the stars are climbing to the zenith ('tis half past eleven) and my letter waxes long and dull I fear. Oh the night the grand old night - the heavens so calm - the world so still and pulseless. I can almost hear Time's stealthy tread - How I would love to stand upon the mountains now and look down down upon thesleeping world below as Paul Flemming says "On the end of this oily midnight my spirit loves to revel." But I must stop. Dear Lucretia do let me hear from you often very often and long - Let your heart take the pen and your hand hold it not back - and now at this lone solemn hour I implore our Heavenly Father to keep us in his mercy, and give us hearts to do his will, and not repine at His Providences. Lucretia dear Lucretia, my arm is around you now, my cheek is pressed to yours, here is my kiss. Good night, As ever James[*Willamstown Mass*] Hiram Aug 7th, 1854 Dearest James: O, what a treasure is a letter! To receive from [an] absent loved ones lines traced by their own dear hands-to feel that beneath their eyes every word has fallen and more than all to realize that every thought every expression of kindness is but a part of themselves impressed upon the surface of the fair page, makes the very heart-strings tremble anew with the gush of affectionate gladness, and leads the soul into sweet and holy communion with the dear the loved in memory only present; but when a "message comes from the one" then all others more dear, 'tis better known than told the rapturous thrill of joy that vibrates upon each trembling chord of the fond heart, and now my own dear James shall I in return for that last kind letter of your surrender my pen to my heart, and bid my hand obey its dictates! If so it will be for the first time, save to my sweet my earliest friend "Lizzie," and this is why perhaps, the world calls me so cold, and thinks me so heartless; and is this why you scarcely yet believe I have a heart other than that the iceberg has! James I have a heart [*28*]and as warm and true, as every throbbed 'neath woman's gentle breast. I know this though from the world it may ever be concealed, and I would have you know it too; then in secret the silently flowing tear shall no longer tell my sadness at the world's mistake, and my own inability to correct it. No. No, if I can only learn to embosom my whole soul to you, and [receive] prove myself worthy of receiving your entire confidence in return, I shall ask no more; my cup of happiness will be filled to overflowing. Then the world may think me what they will, 'twill matter little if you but know me rightly. Then I will not cease striving to unmask my real self to others also, still when I fail I will not mourn if turning to you I can feel that I am truly known. Then heart take this pen and guide it ever and learn to trust your whole self unreservedly to one at least who is in very very worthy of your freest confidence. Yes, this is my resolve, and may I never disregard it never 'til you cease to love me. I am glad to learn that you are well pleased with the College and Professors; but I fear for your health. It may be however that it is only the change of climate that affects you now, and as you become accustomed to it will cease to produce any unpleasant results, at least I hope it is so. I would gladly assist you in making a decision as to the time you should spend there if I could; but I am quite uncertain which would be the wiser course. When I first read your letter, though I felt that consulting my own pleasure and that of your other friends, I should certainly say "Haste and return." Still I thought I should advise you differently; for your argument in favor of staying two years [was] seemed quite conclusive. The more I think of it however, the stronger seem the reasons on the other side-providing you can complete the Course in one year without injury to your health. But by staying and teaching next winter you might get as you say "a taste of New England society and perhaps of their money." Still of the latter though it might be a generous slice, you would scarcely get as much in that time I think as you could in another year with Diploma in hand. Again, when a person appears in society a graduate from an Institution of high standing, and especially having merited high honors-as I know you will- a position is granted him which will readily gain for his access to whatever society he may wish, and while he may learnsomething of the men and thoughts of society in general an opportunity is also afforded of forming an acquaintance with men whose Intellectual greatness and Literary [?] has given them a position far above the medium classes. I acknowledge the school teacher can go deeper into society and learn more of its secret spring than perhaps any other person, but can he obtain as extensive knowledge, or form as large a circle of acquaintance, as he who spends the same time travelling and visiting what- ever places he chases? I submit these few reflections for your consideration for whatever they are worth. Certainly you will not allow them to have any influence in deciding you to take this course, should your better judgement advise different- ly. I would say, first of all act with due reference to your health; then take whatever course seems most wise--whatever will result in the most good to yourself and enable you to accomplish t he most for mankind so far as you can determine. Heaven has bestowed upon you noble powers --equalled only by a few--surpassed by none. Thus placing upon you responsibilities far higher than otherwise would rest upon you: consequently there is so much the more need that you consider well whatever step you take. I say not this to flatter. No James I love you too well to say aught but the truth in reference to anything so intimately connected with your own dear self. And shall you quench Ambition's fires? No James never! Watch them well, but let them burn not to consume the building, but to give it the warmth and vigor of life, and light it with high and holy impulses, and determination. I know not what to say in reference to myself. I know what I wish, but whether it can ever be accomplishedsurely I cannot tell. If health and means were mine I would- after staying here another year-go to Antioch and graduate. As far as I have been able to learn anything of the Institution there I am better pleased with it than any other where ladies are allowed a privilege. How I should be able to effect this even if my health would permit I do not know, still if I was sure of that I believe I would make an attempt. I have had a slight cough ever since the close of last session still it has not been very troublesome until the last two weeks. I took some more cold then I suppose which with over- exercise at housecleaning gave me a severe pain in my right side and made my cough much worse buy by Hydropathic treatment and the magic of little pills I am now much better and trust I shall be well entirely when next session commences. I have had a real nice time though sitting in the rocking chair and reading. I read the "Leaves from Granny's Portfolio" "Plurality of Worlds" and last week I translated about 500 lines of Virgil in a little more than 4 days; but the Dr. and Mother put a stop so I am not to [29] study any more until school commences.- Have you ever read "Fanny Fern"?- She must certainly be the greatest piece of drollery ever clothed in woman's form. A perfect misander. She says she has never yet seen a conscientious young man. I think she has lived too long amongst the pampered pride and starred poverty of the city. Let her come out here into the free wild country where the blue sky is unbroken with lines of dingy brick, and the unpoisened with pestilential vapors. Where the very water comes gushing free and glad from the verdant hill side, and I am sure she will find not one, but many conscientious young men. I just thought I would like to send sister Fanny a little emerald colored locket in my possession; but no, she shall not have that if her curiosity is never satisfied; for what would be left to cheer me when I'm sad! She has nevertheless a warm heart, and possesses much sympathy for the suffering of every class; but the way she deals out ridicule for the silly and fashionable is surely in other than Homeopathic doses.- John and Ellen are not married yet. Ellen has gone to Oberlin, and John I know not whither. People seem to have been wonderfully deceived in reference to their intentions, as they say that the time was not set to be married at all.- Dr. returned last Wednesday with his Lady. She is a fine looking- fine appearing Lady. Quite free and social, and I love her now as a sister. Her name was "Susan Canon". The Dr. is the happiest man in existence.- You inquire for friend [?arman]. He is well and as goodnatured and happy as ever. There are two or three reciting to him through vacation, and the old bell rings out every morning at 8 oclock to remind us of the past. Bro. Hayden did notengage Bro. Rowe, and who are to be our new teachers next session I do not know. James never say again that your fear your letters long and dull. If you should write forever I should not weary reading. [?] I am always sorry when I finish reading one, and would sooner have it ten sheets longer than one word shorter. I would finish this sheet but my naughty side is getting very tired and I suppose I ought to stop. With you I daily raise the petition to our Heavenly Parent to protect us, and give us hearts resigned to his holy will whatever it may be, and how it cheers my heart and bid loneliness flee to think that to one common [?] we can ever approach and though sundered far can meet in our Saviors embrace. Shall I hear from you again, Dear James one week from next Saturday? My image shall be forth-coming soon. I am not going to return that sweet little kiss 'til I see you again, then sir- Am I still fondly your own: Lucretia?Mr. James A. Garfield. Williamstown, Mass. [27]Williams College Aug. 14th 1854 Lucretia Dearest Lucretia:- Your dear good letter is just recieved and I am seated to respond- I have journeyed near to the gates of the "silent city" since last I wrote to you and am now slowly returning Perhaps it were better had I entered God knoweth- I believe I told you in my last of having had a headachce for ten days occasioned by colds - I kept up my studying however till Friday (4th) when the hot water filled my eyes to that I could hardly see and I was obliged to give it up and call a Physician He said I was threatened with Inflammation of the Brain or Brain Fever: There being no Homeopath- ist here. I could do no better than to take his drugs- Friday Saturday and Sunday I was nearly insane with the pain but on Sunday evening it was quieted and the next day I felt comfortable - but it had wrought ruin with my strength and I wasweak as a child The Dr said I must keep still and study no more this session. I have been out but little since that but I am fast gaining strength and think I shall soon be quite well again Certainly I shall [?] I can often be cheered with such a precious heart-gift as you have sent me lately which I have read ^re-read and read again. The glorious sun is sinking bright and golden to his western ocean bed and the bright clouds lie so warm and lovingly along his path 'Oh tis a sight that thrills the soul with its beauty and in it I see a sweet sumilitude that cheers me now When his resplendent disk has sunk from sight be- hind the western hills still those gorgeous clouds retain his parting radiance and reflect it back to me in softened and pensive loveliness and I enjoy his beams though his face is hid from my sight. Thus also though you are far away from me + I cannot enjoy your loved presence, get your letters bring back to me the tender emotions the warm out-gushings of your heart and fill my spirit with gladness and joy may such sunsets of the heart often be mine to enjoy and may our spirits commune without an intervening vail- I have indeed passed some lengthy - lovely hours but I know that "He doeth all things well." and I shall be benefitted by it- There is a sort of joyful pleasing melancholy that steals over the spirit of me when convalescing - Hope that had grown dim in the distance returns calmly and slowly with a look of more subdued humility than she were before and with more reverence and childlike trust in her heart- Ambitious fires burn with a steadier to milder glow, and the souls' chambers are filled with a -------- soft and mellow light But please don't think I am now sick and suffering for I am sure I shall be quite recov- ered in a few days I ought not to have men- tioned it at all- I shall be obliged to do something in vacation to recruit If I were a son or even distant relative of Croesus I would go down to the sea --- and toss a few days on the "foaming brine" and I may do so even now It is said to be the best for wealth of any thing- I have recieved a veryurgent invitation from that "Cousin Harriet Garfield (of whom I have told you, I believe) living in Berkshire County. about 40 miles from here to visit them and I think I shall do so in the coming vacation - I am now enjoying myself finely in reading- I have read "Life in New York" by N. P. Willis; "Glances [of] at Europe" by Horace Greely, Heavens of History by Jenks, & I am now reading Byrns "Childe Harold" - a most sublime poem thought tinged with the sombre hints of a spirit that saw no morning star to dawn upon the "Night of the Grave.", and felt the hollowness of the world in all its bitterness - I have never read "Fern leaves," but I know they must be good if written by "Fanny" the sister N. P. Willis I am also reading some of Bro. Cambells & Richardson's writings - I am more and more impressed with the truths of Christianity as plea by our brethren, when I compare them with those the mighty men of the east. Yesterday I listened to the great Dr G. W. Bethune D. D. the Lion of the clergy of New York and Brooklyn, as though he is a really a great and eloquent man, ye[t] he evidently looks at the gospel through the colored spectacles of a shackled and purblind Theology, and would be but an infant on that theme, by the side of our dear Bro Campbell - Perhaps you have heard of him as an author and speaker. He sways a powerful influence in the east. But I cannot forbear giving you an item of his private history, which kept ringing through my5 my mind while he was speaking - He now lives in Brooklyn N.Y. but he formerly resided in Philadelphia. About two years ago there was a great Temperance meeting in Philadelphia (How does "The Merchant" get along?) and among others the Rev. Bethune made a very eloquent speech. When he sat down the audience was spell-bound with his eloquence, and amid the silence a man of 70 years with silvery hair arose and asked leave to speak - It was granted and he said "I have been for years an advocate of Temperance, have practiced its principles myself and taught them to my children. When my only son went into society, it was the custom then to take a social glass and by that, his ardent nature took five and in a year he was nigh unto death with "delirium tremers", got him home, and I and his mother, got influence and love around his heart against and he promised never again to touch the fatal cup. For a year his promise was sacredly kept. A few months ago, he was at a social party andand invited by his companions to drink but he resolutely refused. After a little a noted clergyman in the company proposed to him to take a social glass and remarked to him reluctant that there was no harm. He yielded and his thirst being re-kindled he was carried home that night intoxicated. Four weeks ago I saw that son laid in a drunkard's grave and that clergyman was the one who has just addressed you" - Bethune could make no reply for it was all too true - But what avails right against might He is very wealthy and influential and although his obesity and rubicund face accord with the known fact that he is a "glutton and wine-bibber" yet the Protestant Orthodoxy of the nineteenth century shouts a lusty "Amen" to his eloquent discourses, and titles him the "Reverend Doctor of Divinity"!!!! Oh shame where is thy blush! - I will say however in justice to the "Association" before whom he delivered his address, that they did not know the above facts when they invited him - How much difference it would have made I do not know. With regard to Antioch, I am certainly better pleased with that institution than any other one for Ladies, with which I am acquainted. It has at its head a true Man(n) in a two-fold sense - and if your health will permit I presume you will never regret going there - I think that there is much of that generous - liberal spirit which we all so much admire. I am sorry to learn of your poor health. I fear for that cough in the summer season. I hope you will take early and every precaution against it. I have had one too for some weeks but I attribute it to the irritated state of my throat - I am much obliged for your thoughts upon the question of one or two years. I assure you my heart would joyfully say "one", and when I see the premises more clearly I shall know better what my judgment will decide. If I could complete in one year and then was able to spend the second as you propose I am sure no course could please me better. But if I am to be hurried from College into some "Teacher's harness". I feel like getting allI can while free. I am sure there is enough to do for two years. but I wish to do as thoroughly and rapidly as possible - No one is eligible to College honors, even though his scholarship demand it, will he be here two years - Bro. C. D. Wilber will be here to enter College in about four weeks, and by that time I think I can be decided. I feel that it is a matter of importance. My friends in Ohio, I fear expect more from me than will be realized I really do not know why they should expect much - and I can adely say to them "Quod autem habeo, hae illis dubo." - The Doctor - good soul, may well rejoice. Few heroes have captured "Came and melted them into the Goodness expressed in the Doctor's name - May there never be a more belligerent display than that - Our Commencement comes off here day after tomorrow. They expect a great time. I have only to sharpen my pen and fill my ink-horn - to prepare for it. I think I shall be able to attend - Soon after this reaches you, the turn of our Darling "Eclectic" will commence. May heart shall go with her though I cannot. And now the day is dying and my sheet is near full. Let me again my own dear Lucretia thank you, for that dear letter, that comes to me like a fountain in the desert to the thirsty traveller long looked for and found joyfully at last. Do let me hear again freely & fully. There is no avenue of my heart, no secret chamber of my soul in which I do not wish you to listen - I have no earthly motive to conceal my self from you. But Life is earnest, and duty call us to labor. Oh it is a glorious thing to live to love and to work - That God may bless you abundantly, Dearest Lucretia, is the earnest prayer of your affectionate - James [*I will not tell you to write soon, very soon. I know you will -*]Miss Lucretia Rudolph Hiram Portage Co. Ohio [*12R*]Hiram, Aug. 21st, '54 My Dear James: From the sentimental realities of the Wash -[?] I set myself to the loved pleasure of responding to another of your kind letters, received at the expected hour. With sadness, but not much surprise I read the first few lines telling of your illness, but I trust as you anticipated you have nearly recovered ere this; still I scarcely dare hope; for as you regretted mentioning to me that you had been sick I fear you did not tell how much you were suffering then. Sure I am it affords me no pleasure to know that sickness has brought you low and with cruel hand is robbing you of life; still when it is thus I would know it. Do not suffer alone. Let me share not your joys only but your sorrows too. Now do not commence studying again until you are entirely well, and then use the utmost exertion in guarding your health. Disease lays hold upon you with such a powerful hand that it behooves you to elude its grasp if possible. Perhaps it was wrong for 30 and I have written anything favorable to your completing your College Course in one year, What I have written however I have, but I beg of you do not allow it the weight of a feather in deciding you. Again I say "Health" alone be consulted and whatever may be her decision abide it. I scarcely know whether I am glad or not that you and Bro. Wilber are to be together for the coming your. If I could not trust to the superior judgement of you both was guided by a little bitter experience I should certainly be sorry at the arrangement; for I should only expect that the voice of the grave would summon you both to lie down in its silent bed ere another summer's sun should come to greet us. But as you are beginning to learn yourselves mortal I trust you will do as mortals should - Throw a strong [?] upon Ambition, and work with moderation. My washtub introduction has doubtless led you to a correct conclusion concerning my health. I never get very ill- at least I never have been - consequently I soon recover. Tomorrow I take my place again in the Eclectic. Do not my place, for that is last. Our Greek class is no more, and of the Latin class only a fragment remains which I am about decided to leave, before I [?] finish too. The tears, the unbidden tears will come when I think of this; but it is only one of life's changes which the heart must learn to bear. You may think strange that I think of leaving our Latin class, and so it is rather, and it will be very abundantly that I do so, if I should thus decide. James it would be impossible to tell all the strange thoughts that have visited my brain for a few weeks past. I only wish you were with me just one hour, if it could be no more- this evening. I am sure I would speak to you more confidently than I ever have. My strange thoughts have been in reference to myself and my duty, as regards the courses I should take in my studies. You may think me fickle as the wind to be still doubting and hesitating in regard to that after having so lately expressed by wish and almost determination so decidedly. But the truth is I never have been satisfied with the idea of my going through with a regular College course. Ambition has urged me on until I was almost decided; still in my more solemn moments I felt dissatisfied, I felt that for as I believe it is for many that it was a foolish attempt. I do not regret having studied the classics what I have nor do I intend giving them up entirely, still I cannot feel that it will be right for me to spend two or three years more pouring over those alone to the neglect of everything else as I know I should be obliged to be. For this reason I think of leaving our old Latin class. I have read only a little of "Virgil" yet, and thought it would be better perhaps to finish that this session and if I should wish and think it best, read "Cicero" at some other time. It is a fact that but very few Graduates are independent classical scholars. They make the "Lexicon" and "Grammar" their main dependence in all their translations, (and few of them make any translations outside of College walls) Then when they have learned to use their "Lexicon" and "Grammar" why might they not as well yes better spend their time in the pursuit of knowledge more available, than in going over with a dozen "Latin" or "Greek" books. I do not say this of everyone. There are some whose natural inclination, and powers of mind positively fir them to form a thorough acquaintance with Language and perhaps it is well that they should devote themselves to a close and critical study of the classics. Father found a paper in the street a while since containing "A Word Upon Colleges" which caught his eye and he brought it home for me to read. It was a production of the "Rev. Shemphibus Fiske", and though he may be too severe in his censure of the present system of Education, still I think he has spoken much truth. He considers it little better than a relic of the "Dark Ages", and altogether unfit for the present age. He says - "They then studied Greek and Latin because these languages were the key to all the knowledge in the world. Now they are the key to nothing useful or [?] to be know - yet the practice is followed as implicitly as when the study of these two dead languages was indispensable". Also - If the study of foreign languages is considered indispensable in order to discipline the mind let the modern languages - German and French be substituted for the languages that are dead. The modern languages are as useful as the stars are endless. The one contains an inexhaustible stock of useful knowledge the other not a particle - as all that is useful in Latin and Greek has been translated into English etc. Now James do you not think yourself that he is more than half right? and consistently do you not believe it would be the wiser course for me to devote a part of my time at least and perhaps a larger part to other studies? Will you not very freely tell just what is your opinion in reference to this question? We never have spoken to each other with that freedom which I believe it is not only our privilege but our duty to - standing in the relation to each that we do. I am as ignorant of your expectations or wishes for the future as connected with with one as I am of the wishes and expectations of the "Man of the Home". Now this should not be so. If I were already your wife you certainly would not hesitate to make known your wishes as to the course I should take, and why not now? Sure we know not what the future may reveal still even if I am never to take that place I would as soon act with reference to your decisions as of any other person. 32and if I am - surely no earthly consideration should influence me more than your wish. Father and Mother have both suggested the propriety of my spending some more time studying the modern languages and I would like very well to do so, still I am determined to bestow more particular attention upon the "English". But this I cannot do while I make Greek and Latin my principle studies, and I cannot but think that it would be a far greater benefit to me than they could be possibly. About leaving Hiram to study I can only say I never expect to. Father has subjected himself to a great deal of toil and vexation by locating himself here that his children may enjoy the advantages of this Institution and still have them with him, and I feel that it would be unjust for me to ask him to furnish me the means for going elsewhere, and as to obtaining them myself it is one thing to talk and another to act. If they were at my disposal however Mother says she would not give her consent to my leaving her while I study; for she has no confidence in the care I would take of my health. So her I am doomed to stay for aught I can see. I perceive that I am making out quite a selfish letter, but I trust you will pardon any conspi[?]ity this time here after I will endeavor to make myself less prominent. Our teachers this term are Pres. Hayden and Prof. Hun[?]well and Dunshee. The gentleman who taught Astronomy last session I do not know what his name is, no how scarcely pronounce it alike and I have not seen it spelled - Mr. Encell, Miss S. Udal, and Mr. Crane and his Lady I have no comments. I trust we shall have no disturbance, and all may succeed well in their classes and whatever else laudable they may undertake. Merchant Mecker and his friends are feeling wonderfully outraged just now. The teachers have made it one of the regulations that each student on entering school. by this doing binds him or herself to give their patronage in no way to Mr. Mecker. Two have declined giving their names on that account. Surely we want no such characters here, and it is well for the school that they are thus tested. The Presenting Committee keep very still, but from what I can learn I judge they are about commencing a suit against him. Poor man!! He is badly headed surely.Tuesday - I have been in school this morning. A large number of students are already here and among them occasionally a familiar face. But Oh it seemed so strange so lonely that I could scarcely repress the rising tear. Philip Sterling Harrey [?] Miller when he [?] and myself have united upon the "New Testament" and formed a class in Greek. There will be no class in "Virgil" excepting one commencing consequently I have given Latin up for this session. I intend finishing "Geometry" and "Trigonometry" and what else I will take I have not yet decided. Nancy is with us to day but leaves tomorrow for Oberlin I wish I were going too. It makes me heart-sick to think of staying her but I must. She too has given up going through a "course". I must confess I am glad of it. "Misery likes company". I expect Miss Boothe will lecture us both. I received a letter from her last week in which she mentions a surmise that I might be thinking of such a step, and then cautions me to consider well before I come to such a decision. I do not recollect ever having heard anything of the Rev. D.B. you mentioned. From your description of him I should jude he was very far from being a great man. So Bro. Campbell says in his last "Baccalaureate address" "He may be a great Orator but a great man he cannot be". I have not been reading much since I last wrote. Commenced reading some however of "Mann's Lectures on Eloction". and am more and more in love with him every word I read of his writing. He is indeed a "True Man". I hope to receive a full account when you write again of your Commencement exercises. also of your visit to your cousin and your "seen toss" if there you have been enjoying. I mailed a package for you last Saturday morning - just one year from the day that we returned from Oberlin. the likeness was taken a year from the day we went there - Aug. 16th. Let the dear Eclectic still have your prayers and kind wishes and often think of one within its walls whose heart is ever to you turning. Will you not write soon and most fully and freely [?] all friends I have [?] Still faithfully your Own, Lucretia. Mr. James A. Garfield Williamstown, MassWilliams College, Sept. 13th 1854. My Dear Lucretia: Your welcome letter of the 23rd ultimo was mailed at Hiram the day I left Williamstown for a trip of three weeks and today I have returned, having just made an end of my travels. During that time sixteen letters have found their way hither to bless me with words of kindness and love. This will explain my delay in answering your last_ I was glad to hear that you were well again, and am also happy to tell you that I return from my wander ings much refreshed, and feel strong and ready to grapple again with the duties of life. I hope to use my sickness as a timely warning for the future, yet I am apt to forget such hints I know. You speak of your "conspicuity" in your letter + I am to take that as a hint I should have but little to write_ But assuming that such a charge applies to neither of us I will proceed. I send you a paper containing a notice of the Commencement and also another piece which I will explain by and by- I was not very well and the exercises being lengthy I was not so much interested as I otherwise should have been however I was pleased with them - There was a good deal of strength and dignity, I regret that I have not a Programme to send you. On the 23rd. I left for the South part of the state and about 8 o'clock that evening reached a town called Gt. Barrington. I stopped at a Hotel and picked up the paper which I send you and read "Morning in Berkshire" by Hattie A. Pease. It pleased me and the next morning I wrote a few lines in res- ponse and endeavored to say a word for "Ohio" and signed myself "A Stranger". That paper I also send you The next day I went to Montery when I found that Cousin and her parents expecting me. They had any amount of excursion rides and visits planned and for two weeks I gave myself over to visiting and playing One day I spent in fishing and we (the company) caught about 60 beautiful fish I found some 15 or 20 families of Garfields and they all claimed relationship somewhere this side of Adam. From there I went to West Rupert Vermont to attend a Disciple Meeting (a notice of which you will see in the August Harbinger) and found myself in the vicinity of Charlotte Weed and Anna F. Sherman. During my stay I visited them both. Charlotte's mother has been so unfortunate as to be thrown from a carriage and very badly injured but she is now slowly recovering. The meeting was in progress when I reached then (Sep 6th) and continued till Mon 11th and on Tuesday morning while we were waching for the cars two more came and re- quested Captain making eleven in all that "put on the Lord Jesus Christ" in his own appointed ordinance. Bro Benedict from Newburgh Ohio was the speaker and Bro. M. J. Streaton was there with whom I formed a very pleasing acquaintance- He has been in Rupert for two years but having lately lost his wife he is now returning to Ohio and will be at Hiram in a few days- On the whole we had a very fine meeting and I was much refreshed in body and spirit. It seems so good to get among our brethern. Oh! how I long to be among them permanently- We have the truth and our cause must triumph- A thousand thanks to you for that very fine likeness- The exposition of yourself- It came Safely and my left hand now holds it while my right one tells you so- If it could only speak!------------- Tomorrow the session commences and every thing seems prosperous and indicative of a good and pleasant session- Tomorrow noon I expect to see Bro. Wilber - though I have an intimation in one of my letters that he is sick. Still I hope it may not be so it would be so discouraging to him.I certainly hope that there may be the most entire freedom of thought and expression between us and will try to speak what my judgment dictates - since you request it . Concerning studying the languages apart from other modifying circumstances you know my views. and you must pardon my lack of reverence for the "Res. Fiske" when I say that I cannot agree with him when he would substitute the mod- ern languages for the Ancient and declaim against the utility of the classics. If he be a classical scholar. I venture that he does not regret that he studied them. But I have never been among those who say that all persons under all circumstances should complete a full course of Satin and Greek On the contrary in many instances such a course would be most unwise. I am sat- isfied that to obtain the rudiments and genius of the Ancient Languages is a very superior and important discipline of the mind and I know ofnothing else that will accomplish that work so well; and for those who design to occupy important and influential, & I will also add lucrative stations as teachers or preachers I consider a complete classical course as almost indispensable, considering the way in which society is now organized. Now concerning yourself. I think that thus far you have pursued the best course you could have done, and whatever you future course may be, the discipline, and knowledge you have acquired, by studying the classics will be of invaluable service to you. But I must confess, that I have felt for some months that it would not be best for you to continue them much longer to the exclusion of other branches, unless you were intending to complete a full course of study and I am of opinion that your health forbids that. You have now laid a solid foundation broad and deep, and were I to choose I would much rather that you should now bring up the natural sciences, French and German, music and painting [and], and thus cultivate more that esthetics, than that you should neglect these, and go further with the classics - I know the atmosphere of Hiram has, thus far, been somewhat averse to Belleslettres, but I believe the mind and especially the female mind, should be ornamented, as well as strengthened. Strength without ornament is gloomy and unattractive. Ornament without strength is shallow and insipid. But ornamented strength is lovely and wins the soul. Tis like the rock-built tower, whose top is crowned with garlands of flowers. Home joys are made doubly joyful by the attractions which cultivated taste and skillful hands can throw around it and, Dear one, let me say if it shall ever be ours to enjoy the same home should we not endeavor to be able to make that a spot around which our affections may cling and where we may find an attractive and happy retreat from the chilling world around us. The sententiousness of Livy. the terseness of Terence, and the abstrusities of Mathematicalformula will fail to accomplish this; and I fear the rugged path that lies before me, will not enable me to do so much of that as I should love to do. Yet I could enjoy and prize it - and without it life would lose much of its enjoyment - I have written thus freely and fully. Read and reflect and let me hear again. I am glad you are reading the "Novena Graecum Testamentium" for without that half of the object of Greek would be lost - I think you will be repaid to read Cicero after a while - Not withstanding I have had so many letters. They all assume that I have heard of the school & its progress but, I have not. How did it happen that Bro. Crane & wife were got back again? I wish you would tell me what you think of the school's progress and prospects - Who has my room and teaches my classes? I hear that Bro. Harrah and Sister H. Hartzell were married last Sunday. Die transit spes studentis. Do let me hear from you again soon & you shall hear from me sooner than this time. And now farewell for this time. I am most affectionately, James.[*Williamstown Mass*] Hiram Sept 20th /'54. My Dear James:- At last the loved, and long long looked for letter has reached my writing hand, and quick I haste to answer. I thought perhaps your delay in writing was [the] owing to your [were] absence from Williamstown; still the fear that you were sick again would sometimes intrude, and make the hours seem doubly long, and I was the more confirmed in this from what you wrote to Everest dated about a week after your last to me - viz. that you had been sick but were then well. I concluded that if you thought yourself so soon well and as Philip told me you wrote to Bro. Hayden about the same time -"In fine order for study", there was a strong probability that your return to books had brought a return to disease also; but happily my womanish fears are groundless, as I hope they may always prove, - And now although you feel yourself in possession of health and strength again, allow me to send once more this caution - trust them not too far. - I thank you a thousand times, dear James, for the kindness and frankness with which you expressed your opinion and wish in [*33*]regard to my future course, and am not a little pleased with the spirit you manifest in vindicating the [rights] claims of your favorites - The Classics - to attention; And you in turn I doubt not would enjoy a bit of fun could you witness the lashings we Classic rebels "Little rebels" as Bro. Wilber calls us - receive occasionally from Bro. Munsell, He has no patience with those who condemn the study of the Ancient Languages and will give them credit for nothing but right-down laziness, He accuses them of dishonesty, and I guess of almost every thing else bad. Poor "Theophilus" might as well doff his title surely. And as for myself I am in about the same rediculous predicament the old Dutch jury man was when he declared it "a clear case" on both sides, and I presume it would be advisable for me to keep quiet hereafter, at least as long as I stay where I am. Your remarks referring to the education of the female mind were in strict accordance with my own views. I plead for strength most surely, and the more the better both of mind and body, still woman with that alone would differ nothing from her brother, and could never fulfil her mission of love, and gentle deeds which make Earth a home for mortals. Woman's province is her home, and if she is not fitted to make it a place around which warmest affections cluster, and on whose hearth - shine strongest attractions center, she is not prepared to act her part in life. And she [Inkblot] Please do not think this a specimen of my haste. who would neglect her home, to shine in public life I cannot but consider as having altogether lost sight of her true place. Let woman's brightest rays be shed upon her own household, and her words of deepest eloquence fall by her own fireside; for there she can exert an influence, as enduring as the everlasting hills. Then should she be educated for that position which was designed for her by her Maker, and while she must gain strength of intellect as a solid basis on which to build her hopes of usefulness, she must also cultivate those faculties which shall enable her to throw about it charms of beauty; for first she must win before she can bind. Man may rule by strength alone, and command not only the respect of his fellow-man, but even his affections by the stern authority, [but] [when] [as] of intellectual greatness; but when woman would attempt this she becomes a monster. ----- And now, dearest James I will frankly acknowledge to you that if there is one earthly wish ruling in my head, it is that I may make our home - if Heaven ever grants it - truly a loved retreat where our fondest joys may center, and where, by its quiet beauty and breath of love our spirits may gain new fitness to battle the ills of life. - You inquire after the progress and prospects of the Eclectic.I can scarcely tell you what they are. The present session however is passing off quite satisfactorily I believe, at least as much so as was expected. Knowing the teachers you must know something of the school. The work of Bro. Hayden. Bro. Munsell, and Bro. Dunshee you know is well done, and as far as I know anything about it the rest is too; but it does not seem like our school. How it happened that Bro. C[rane?] and wife came back I do not know, unless it was that Bro. Hayden could not find anyone else. No one seemed to know who our teachers were to be until almost the hour school should commence[ed], and then the rumor was confirmed that they were to return, and I guess they are doing -- perhaps rather better than was anticipated. [The] Your dear old room has various occupants, still it passes as Mr. Crane's room I believe; but your classes all appear before Bro. Munsell and Bro. Dunshee. Your classes in Algebra Geometry and Grammar are taught by "Norman", and those in Greek and Latin by "Thomas". What the Eclectic is ever to become is now a question I had a long talk with Bro. Wilber about her prospects etc. while he was here a few days since. His hopes for her are not as sanguine as they once were, still if she receives the support she needs from those who business it is to take care of her and by whose generosity or parsimony she must stand or fall, he thinks there is yet hope that she may rise to the position she can and should occupy. If that is not bestowed however there is but little chance for her: for without means, suitable teachers cannot be obtained, and without such teachers -- students will not come here or if they do, it will be only to leave again as they now are doing. "Everest" has gone to Oberlin, and "Miller" will probably go in the next spring. Nancy McGrath is there also, and others will leave when they find they cannot receive the instruction here they wish, and should have.5 Next week "Philip" and "Sterling" leave for Bethany and I shall be left alone - in my glory, I guess I may as well say and make the best of it. Our class in the Testament will then consist of O.P. Miller, James Clap - William Gaddis and Miss Rudolph. La me! There is no danger of the Eclectic sinking yet.----------- Dr. Richardson visited us a few weeks since and lectured before the school one morning. It was my misfortune not to present, but he spent the night with us and I sat and listened all the evening to his conversation with Father. He is a strong advocate for the classics as perhaps you very well know, and I was much interested and I trust benefited by his reflections on their importance. Bro. Hench was also here at the same time on his way south to meet his bride.----- you recollect our old friend Mrs. Cordelia Tilden formerly Cordelia Slacks. Two weeks ago last Friday she returned to her mother a widow. Thus another sorrowing heart is added to the list of earth's mourners. You know she is habitually calm and self possessed, but I little thought she could obtain such perfect mastery of her grief as she seems to. When I saw her, though her very smile told how deeply her heart felt it all, yet no word of repining passed her lips.She is now very ill. Last Tuesday they almost despaired of her life but yesterday she was a little better. -- The papers you sent I received Monday evening, and looking them over my eye caught the first line of the piece addressed "To "Hattie", which revealed to me almost without a doubt the Author. Of course I read on and having finished, needed no one to tell me that those lines were written by James; for his mind's image was stamped on every thought. And to while away a leisure hour until your letter came, of which I knew the papers a harbinger, I wrote these rude lines which I inclose in reply. ---- I saw the Programme of your commencement exercises which you sent to Harvey; also read your letter, as he very kindly offered me the pleasure. I was much interested with your account of "Ralph Waldo Emerson's" address, but Wilber told me that he should give you a whipping when he got there for falling so deeply in love with him. Though he considers him as possessing a great mind, yet he thinks him rather dangerous as a guide.---- Now must I wait so long again before I hear from you? Of course I do not ask a letter only when it is your wish to grant it, still I would like to have you willing very often. With truest affection: Lucretia. [*35*][Τω Ζενω?] (To the "Stranger") Stranger, among New England's grand old hills Whose hights to seek the blue of heaven rise And in their voice of silent grandeur speak The boast and pride of all her noble sons, Dost thou from all their matchless glory turn To thy far western home? And is her form Of milder beauty true, yet to thy heart Most dear? Ah well, it may be thus; for on Her breath is borne a Mother's prayer or thought Of anxious loving sister- while within Her bosom many hearts are beating high For thee; and near her hearth-stone lingers one -Dark eyed, who now in dreamy thought perchance Is looking on thee, and with wistful gaze Would woo from thee a loving smile, or look Of fond remembrance. Then, though at glorious dawn To meet Aurora's deep'ning blush thine eye Is orient turned and thy whole soul is lost - In wonder and delight while gazing on The "fairer skies" and "greener hills" and streams 36Of nobler flow, whose peerless beauties grace New England's morn - get when the breath of eve Comes softly stealing o'er the western hills. And Vesper, resting on her couch of gold And purple, steals from thee a homeward glance; Or when the dark browed night thy spirit lulls To rest, with hush unbroken save by sound Of merry rippling waters, or the swell And dying cadence of the winds at play Within the leaflet's home, we know that then Thy fond proud heart to us is turned, and loved Ohio's hills and vales are bright to thee With gems from Memory's glit'ring store; and fair Her skies with shining stars of golden hope. Nor do we fear thou canst forget thy home, Or better love a fairer one. Ah no: But soon with eager step wilt haste thee back To give glad answer to the voice that "shouts" To thee a joyous "Welcome home again". Ohio's Daughter.U.S.POSTAGE THREE CENTS SEPT OHIO Mr. James A. Garfield. Williamstown Mass.Williams College Sep 28, My Dear Lucretia: Your kind favor of the 20th inst was received by yesterday's mail, and I will respond-- The mails seem provokingly slow. But they afford the experience of "Hope Deferred" which perhaps may be beneficial though not pleasant. I am enjoying the best of health and have no great need nor temptation for destroying it as yet. The day after I wrote my last letter to you, Bro. Wilber came and there followed a week of busy domesticities in preparing of our room for the coming year. We are now fully installed into the duties and mysteries of College life, and everything is moving like clockwork. It may please you to know the round of myCollege duties, so here it is. Rise and attend prayers at the Chapel at 5. and then recite one hour in Quintillian. Then go a quarter of a mile, to breakfast. At 9 o'clock, three times a week attend Lectures in Philosophy and at 11 recite in Mechanics. At 4 P.M. Greek for an hour, then prayers. In addition to these there are occasional exercises in themes. Debates and Orations - One week ago I joined the Philologian Society. They have a splendid furnished room and over 4000 volumes of choice Literature, and all their exercises are conducted with a great deal of dignity and decorum. I think I shall be much benefitted by it. I see there is quite a growing spirit of infidelity in Hiram on the subject of the Classics, and though the study of them is not an universal plan to be be adopted by every one and under all circumstances; yet I think that the standing of the school will be materially injured if they should be discouraged much, and many persons may neglect them that ought not it. I hope therefore that Bro Thomas may succeed in inducing many to pursue them - I give you very many thanks for your beautiful little Poem to "the Stranger". and assure you that he will gladly turn his "wandering steps westward" where the smoke of life's battle clears up for a little piece. and refresh himself by sweet communion with many dear friends. - Poor Cordelia! I know her heart is wrung with deepest anguish by the loss of her heart's love and hope. Such is Life and such is human happiness. "We should suspect some danger right were we possess delight." In my most happy hours the thought will steal in me that human enjoyment rests upon the uncertain promises of the unknown Future.The prospects of the Eclectic I have attentively considered for several months, and I must confess that my hopes and hears alternate in reference to it. I am satisfied that she cannot long hold the middle ground she now does - either she must go up or down, stand higher or lower, and for very manifest reasons - Which she will do I doubt and cannot divine I must however say to you, that I most seriously doubt whether she will ever take a very high stand, at least for several years to come. I feel reluctant to become obligated in any way to the Institution and if I can avoid it I shall [a]. Yet you know I love Hiram and its interests as my past course has attested - If the right influences could be brought to bear it might become what it has never yet been - But let us hope for the best in reference to her - The bell is ringing and I must hasten to get this into the mail - Excuse haste, and let me hear soon. I am As Ever - Most affectionately, James.[*Williamstown Mass*] Hiram. Oct. 6th 1854. My Dear James: Friday afternoon has brought again release from school duties - Just then dear Mather's call reminded me that although school duties were finished for the week other duties remained yet unperformed demanding immediate attention; and not until the hour of nine is past, am I permitted to come back to you, and give response to your last dear word received only to day although written more than a week ago. But now, ere I seek any pillow this sheet at least shall be prepared to start on its eastward journey, that you may receive it as soon as possible. I learned too well the pleasures of "Hope Deferred" the two and a half long weeks that you were visiting, to wish any one else the like experience. - I have just returned form our Lyceum, and "Barbara's" (She is again in school with us) last words to me - as I left her saying that I must hasten home to write a letter to night - were "Give a faithful report of our society". She looked very wise as though she knew all about my writing, and I suppose she wished you should be informed what wonderful exploits the ladies of the Eclectic have been [*38*]engaged in this session - How they have turned a society of gentlemen out of doors - out of Miss Booth's room - I mean - claiming it as belonging rightfully to them, and now have the privilege of meeting Friday evening, and also how Prof's Danshee and Munnell are our defenders in our assumptions. Suppose she thinks you will consider this a specimen of woman's tyranny; but I do not believe you will; for I am sure your good judgement will lead you to the conclusion, that surely the broad wings if the Eclectic should shelter her daughters even on Friday evenings, especially since they have good reasons for claiming her protection then. - I am surely glad to hear of your good health, fine spirits, and the pleasing prospect before you. I too am very well, and feel as though I never need be sick again, I am also trying to take better care of myself than I have done. I read Dr. Zirtch's "Lectures on the Cause and Cure of Consumption", a few weeks since, and I feel a great deal of hope that I may yet "live out all my days", if I can only secure for myself a pair of lungs of sufficient size; for which I am now making quite an effort. If I succeed I'll tell you what James I am not going to stay in Hiram all my life. I have a project in view - I guess I will not tell you what it is though, not now. - Philip came down and made me a good long visit before he left. We talked very freely of our plans hopes &c. and one thing he said to me which I do not quite understand. After inquiring quite particularly how affairs were standing between you and me to which I answered truthfully, he remarked something like this that he was glad my regard for you was unchanged; that he did not know in what relation we were standing, but he thought when he left you that a doubt was resting in your mind either of my present affection or of my constancy. Was it so James? And if so why? It is true I did not with my lips seal my future destiny, but it was not because I doubted my heart - no; for I am sure that was yours, and will change only to love you better so long as you remain - as I believe you ever will - good and noble. - Your reflections in Life and human happiness were such as we cannot always avoid; and perhaps it would not be well that we should; still should we not rather discourage than encourage them? If our hopes rested only upon the joys of this life, then such reflections might well come, and throw their blight even over a happy present. But if we are truly Christians will not our confidence in the Divine promises lift us above anything which may tend to mar even our earthly enjoyment? And should we not rest so confidinglyon the bosom of our Lord and Savior that though Earthly hopes all fail we can yet [make] enjoy life and make it a blessing to ourselves and others? I know that I do not always do this. Lifes hopes rise high, and when the thought comes that they may never be realized it causes a pang. But will you not aid me - shall we not aid each other in conquering the world, and make ours the joys of Heaven? - Spiritual interests here seem somewhat reviving. The church is more awake, and others are becoming interested in their soul's salvation. Five have been immersed this session, Mr. Hillier, Mr. Patterson, Sarah Lane Bro. King's second daughter, and Miss. Rogers - a sister or cousin I do not know which - of Ada's. Do you hear from Corydon most or Ellis? I received a letter from Lorna this summer but she said not a word about him. I understand she is now about starting for Michigan to spend the winter. - The "cold round moon" riding high in the "upper deep" reminds me that the midnight hour approaches, and my fast filling sheet admonishes me of the necessity of drawing to a close. A thousand things occur here [at most] every week which I know would interest you to know, and which I should like to tell you, if I could only see you, and "speak face to face"; but if I should write them down, and send them ever so many hundred miles they would lose all their pith. And now James I would suggest that we adopt some plan in our correspondence which will make it not only a pleasure, but a source from which we may derive benefit, What that method may be I will leave it to you for decision, if it is your wish that we preserve such a course. Trusting that I may hear again as soon as the mails will permit, I add no more at present. Good night dearest. Heavens choicest blessings rest upon you, and the spirit of Christ dwell in you richly. Still in affection yours; Lucretia.HIRAM JUL 2 OHIO Mr. James A. Garfield. Williamstown, Mass. [39]Williams College Oct. 13th/54. Dear Lucretia:- Yours of the 7th inst. is here and I will respond. I am glad to hear of your health and of your efforts to preserve it. I am also well, and enjoying well the days and hours. I must tell you of my journey last Saturday to the mountain top. Bald Mountain seems to be about five miles from here, but we travelled five miles before we reach ed its base. After we had gone two miles, we turned aside into the deep gorge and went on three miles farther. The scenery grew wilder at every step, and the gorge closed up behind us like great gates of granite [gates,] as we coursed along the bank of a wild brook that came leaping from rock to rock, and turning the great wheel of a mill at almost [*17*]every bend, till finally we reached the last mill, and stood at the foot of the Bald Giant. Leaving the team and our overcoats with the simple hearted, and kind old lady that lived by the mill, for an hour and a half we wound up its side, and then stood upon its marble top. The Autumnal frosts had tinged the leaves with purple and crimson, and the surrounding mountain foliage was gorgeously dressed in [purple] all the [and crimson] colors of the rainbow. On the east rose Saddle Mountain, a thousand feet higher than the one we were one. Northward we saw the Green Mountains extending far up into Vermont. At our feet lay Williamstown, and far in the west like a line of light ran the Hudson, and beyond we could see the Catskill Mounts. In short, peaks on peaks arose to the sky on all sides, and looked as if a liquid world when dashing in its wildest fury, had stiffened and stood still. Words are mockers and I cannot describe it. I never before was where I could make no echo. But there my loudest words gave back no image. That was a time and place for thought. One could not but feel that God was on the Mountains, and that "In his hands are the deep places of the earth: the strength of the hills is his also". That mountain seemed to me like a type of Life. Around its base bloomed the tender flowers and purest streams bounded joy fully along. Upward it became more rugged, till at least its barren top seemed severed from the earth, and associated with the heavens above. So life should be, not like that mountain whose top is lost in mists and thick darkness, and is scathed by the lightnings of heaven, but like that which lifts its honored head far up into the azure blue, as if inviting the angels down upon it. At a late hour we (Charles & a Mr Hill from Oberlin) returned to our homes, butthat day I shall never forget - I am glad you have conversed freely with Philip for he is certainly one of our best friends, but he errs in thinking I doubted your constancy, or your unwavering adherence to your own convictions of duty - I never had such a doubt. He may have thought so from the fact that I told him, we were not engaged. But like yourself, I felt it was right that we should not be bound. We know not what the years may bring about, or in what path duty may lead. Let us perform the labor of the present, and trust the future to God. I thank you for your frankness, and I want you at any time to say to me whatever thing you wish. I am anxious to know what your "project" is though I partly suspect. You know whether I may know or not - I was much pleased that the Eclectic daughters had obtained a redress of those grievances which they have so long borne I should have been pleased to have attended the Ladies Temperance Alliance, and to have heard the adress. Who could have been the orator???? - I have not heard from Ellis in a long time, and I do not know where he is, but one of the Professors at the Ohio University has been appointed Professor here, and will be here soon, and I hope to hear from Ellis by him. I have letters from [?Croydon] very often, and I expect he will be here next week, to visit me while on his way to the west or south - Brother Wilber is duly installed into his duties, but he has several studies of the Sophomore Year to bring up yet. I find that he has never trained himself thoroughly in study, and though he knows something in very many departments, yet he is not thorough in any. I am surprised at it, But then one cannot be thorough without severe discip Hoping to hear from you again soon. I am affectionately James [*I have filled my sheet and have not prosed any subject. I am pleased with the plan. I wish you would propose whatever you like. James. -*][*Williamstown Mass*] Hiram. Oct. 21st, 1854 Dear James: I am under an apple tree in the back yard with my face to the rising sun, striving to recall my eastward wandering thoughts and fix them on this inviting page; and where are you? On the "mountain top" again - feasting your soul's eye on scenery grand and sublime, and drinking in its beauty almost to intoxication? I am sure you ought to be there for the day is passing lonely; and I trust you are, and that another letter may gladden my soul with a description of what yours is enjoying to day. New England is my mother's birth place and as I have heard her speak of her childhood home among the green hills of Vermont or listened to my dear good old grand mother as she told the story of her youth, and pictured to my fancy her homes - the first in Connecticut and then in Vermont, and recited the many scenes which made up her life, I have felt a strong desire [to] and determination to one day visit the places made almost sacred to me by the associations of their [*37*]youth, and yet I say, if life and health are spared I will look on what their eyes saw when young, and New England shall no longer find a place in imagination only; but stand engraven on memory's page. May I come when you graduate? Perhaps I shall whether you choose to [let] give your consent or not - that is if I can find any one to go with me. But when is that to be? You have said nothing for some time in reference to your plans. I presume however you have decided to stay two years. I hope so, Yes James a rich field is now open to you for enjoyment and improvement, and much as I miss your loved presence here I would not take you from it. The anxieties and perplexities of life will need all the preparation that the quiet and freedom from care you now enjoy will allow or rather aid you to gain in two years. A word now as regards your returning to Hiram which I omitted in my haste to answer your last. You entertain doubts of the continued prosperity of the Eclectic and well you may; but I believe her greatest danger lies now in not being provided with a sufficient number of competent teachers. Some teachers cannot do every thing; still I doubt whether others will do what is their duty until such teachers are obtained. The query is often started here whether our old teachers are coming back or not, and if they are - how soon; and a wish as often expressed that they may return and that right soon, as, though upon that depended the fortune of the school. The older students say that if they do come back and the school is raised to the position it ought to take they would as soon stay here and graduate as [to] go away. I do not urge this at all as a plea for your return; but to show the feeling existing here, such being the feeling of course the only question resting in your mind [doubtless] is whether this is the place where you can accomplish the most good. Certainly I would not presume to say, still I do feel like favoring the Eclectic. If it is right that the Disciples should have a school on the Reserve, if by doing so they can most effectually dispel sectarian darkness by the glorious light of truth, it seems to me that one cannot better do his duty than by aiding it to take that stand [it] which will enable it to accomplish the most. Doubtless you have already considered all this, and will allow it due weight in deciding you to whatever course you may take, at least I trust so. I do not think it theduty of a person to sacrifice every thing to the public interest, still the success of almost any project demands a certain amount of sacrifice to be made by solo one, and I know of no enterprise for which it should be made more willingly than the one in which the patrons of the Eclectic have engaged. But we will watch the disclosures of the future and talk of this further another time. - I [suppose] presume if I tell you my "project", and the half dozen more I may have before I see any of them accomplished you will not need to be informed that I am a second cousin of our venerable Post mistress; but I suppose you may as well know what I am now as latter to your synod. It was only a few weeks ago that I told you I never expected to leave here to study. But my determination is now to get away just as soon as possible, I intend teaching either this winter and next spring or through the spring and summer and then go to Oberlin next fall, and stay at least a year. What think you of it? Miss. Booth advises me to do so. I can have advantages there in the sciences which cannot be afforded here in several years even if the Institution does well. I received a letter from Miss Booth wednesday evening, and she writes that Nancy has left her on account of her health, and she expresses a fear that she will never be able to study much more. It seems a pity truly that one with such noble powers of mind should have such a frail body; Nancy studied too hard altogether while she was here. I must tell you of our visit at uncle John Rudolph's last evening Our friend Miller is a capital courtier I can assure you for the benefit of Mr. King - a brother of Joseph's - and our good little Ellen McKlener, he planned out a visit there, which in its design, and arrangement afforded us a good bit of fun. He saw chided whom he would like to have in the company and then coupled them to suit his fancy. He chose for himself Miss [Lenoir?] Wood Mrs King took Ellen of course, Barbara he delivered to the charge of Mr. John Moffit, Ellen Wood to Mr. Robert Moffit, and L. Randolph to our old friend B. B. Woods, We had a very pleasant visit though, and as much sport as we chose, at the funny style in which we were "yoked" as Robert Moffit styled it. My sheet is full again without having introduced any new plan for correspondence and I think it will have to be left for there the one surest gets out of writing material unless you have something new to propose. I think I have not room to tell who our "benefore se orator" was. Affc Lucretia They tell me our old friend A. J. Hull is married. Much joy be with him. Thank Heaven I am not. Write again dear James very soon and tell me all your joy's hopes, and sorrows if you have any, and don't forget an account of all your rambles among the wilds and over the mountains. I love to read them, but better love to know how well you are enjoying yourself. Lucretia.Mr. James A. Garfield Williamstown, Mass.Williams College. Oct. 28th 1854. My Dear Lucretia : The labor of the week is done and your dear good letter has arrived, to cheer this quiet evening hour, and give me the pleasure again of writing down my thoughts to you. I have just been looking at the stars through their ponderous telescope here. I could see plainly the rings of Saturn, and the moons and belts of Jupiter. We then turned it upon the crescent moon, T'was a grand sight. We could see a normal dark spot, and in the centre, a red sparkling light. The astronomers here were much entranced at that, which is supposed to be a volcano in the state of eruption. These are pleasing things to contemplate, but I am better pleased to sit here alone, and turn my thoughts toward the Western Star. I have spent the day in preparing an oration for next Wednesday evening in the Philologian Society, where I am to make my "maiden speech"in Williams College. The advantages here in Literary Societies are very fine, and I hope to be benefitted by them. Speaking of College, I will say that I have concluded to remain two years, for I shall never go through College but once, & I wish to do it thoroughly. In two years I shall have more time to read, think, and mature my mind, and taking my life time (if it should be many years long) into the account I think it will be better for me. I hardly dare look forward to the end of two years, for it seems as if something must arise to deter me from finishing the course, but still, I will hope for it and labor for it. And if that privilege is granted me of graduating here, one year from next August, nothing could please me more than to have you here then. Why could not a company of our good Ohio friends take a trip at that time, and breathe for a few days the mountain air of New England? But let me not anticipate too much. There are thousands of blows to be struck, and thousands of heart throbs to be given ere that day arrives. Still, such is life the world over. The more I think of the Eclectic, the more I am in doubt concerning its future. But I think as you do, that it is best to let time give its own decision, and before I am ready to return, affairs will be more evident. I am very much pleased with your Oberlin project and think you will be very much benefitted by the advantages which that Institution affords. I almost fear the exposure of winter teaching will be bad for your health. I remember that cough last winter which echoed back from your heart's chamber. But you will be careful I know, especially when such a consistent adviser as myself suggests it. You must have enjoyed your visit at your uncle John's very finely. Surely O. P. is a general. And has the Doctor ceased to be among the "young folks"? I do not hear a word from him. I hope marriage is not oblivion, for it would be a great pity to loose the Dr. so. I presume his enjoyment is not of the Homeopathic kind nor quantity. We are now having lectures and experiments of a very interesting character, each one of which furnishes enough thought for a whole week. These old Professors have spent their whole lives in arranging and analyzing the great truths of science, Oh how I wish you could hear then. What a badly arranged world this is that you can not be permitted to come her and study too. These teachings give one such grand views of nature and all things around us--Such lectures are kept up during the whole course--I will give you a sketch of some of them sometime if you wish. Accompanying this I send you a Catlogue of the College just published. I would like to see the Eclectic Catalogue when it comes out--Dearest, I know this letter is dull and I will relieve you by stopping soon but you must pardon for I am weary to night. I wonder where you are at this moment. Doubtless in slumber. Happy dreams Dearest, and so good night. Let me hear soon again and remember me ever as your affectionate James[*Williamstown Mass*] Hiram, Nov 7th, /'54. Dearest James:- I would not be so selfish but I must confess I am glad you are sometimes weary so that your spirit can find pleasure in turning from your ponderous world and all the majesty of Science to rest awhile in the affections of my heart, and love the communing which lifts my soul on an upward flight, thought it be but a resting place on which your spirit folds its drooping wing. But not always would I have you linger here dear James. Oh no. Turn again to the boundless fields of science - Track her mysterious paths and through her wonders learn the wisdom of her Author. And though I cannot accompany you there slowly I will follow in the back, and thank Heaven - that even her outer gates have been thrown open at last for woman's entrance, and though we must yet tarry in the portal - hope for the speedy approach of that day whose dawning has already begun when side by side brother and sister may travel her inviting paths and together pluck her golden fruit. I thank you for the kind proposal you made of giving me a sketch occasionally of [*46*]the lectures which you are permitted to hear. Nothing could please me more, and I hope to receive them often; also may I not be favored with a copy of your "maiden speech"? - The evening that you delivered it I was at Garrettsville listening to a temperance address by Mrs. Dr. Everett. She is a very young looking - handsome - genteel appearing woman possessing a good deal of intellect withal. I should judge however that she is not very thoroughly educated. Her Address evinced more reading than study. Like the Doctor she is rather discursive; still I have no particular fault to find and presume her speech was pronounced very good considering she is a woman. She read it all which seemed to strip it of half its force especially as her style of reading was rather monotonous, and I found it necessary to make quite an exertion of my imaginative powers to keep myself in the belief that she was in earnest it seemed so much like a school girl's essay. A week ago last friday evening Bro. Jonas Hartzel was here and gave us a most excellent discourse. He was on his way from the West whither Bro Harrah and his Lady have gone and where he is about starting for with his family. I wish you could listen to some of the sermons we have [had] here this fall. Bro. Mumrell preaches occasionally, and he is so earnest. I believe I never knew a person whose whole soul was so completely in the work of preaching the Gospel as is his. He can scarcely content himself not to give his whole time to it, he sees so many in the field who are not half awake and preach more to please and get their pay than for any good they may do. Last Sunday evening Bro. Hayden spoke a long discourse on "The importance of preaching the Gospel" and the necessity of more active, efficient - laborers taking the field. The reasons he urged why every young man who has it in his soul to do good should devote his life to this were strong, and it seemed to me sufficient to induce any one having the ability, and a desire to benefit mankind, to consecrate his whole life to the work - not to attain a living but for the good he may do. I do not wish you here because I think you need urging on to duty: [but] for I believe it your determination to do all the good in that way you can, as well as every other into which duty calls you; but for the pleasure and encouragement it would afford you. - It is true James we know nothing of the chances and changes of [the] an uncertain future, still I do believe, that trusting all with God, relying on his Omnipotent arm for supportyou will see the accomplishment of your designs. You have struggled nobly, and Heaven never leaves unrewarded those who toil in a good cause. - This week finishes another session of the Eclectic. O.P. Miller and Barbara Fisk are preparing valedictories for us. To day I recited [it] alone my last lesson in Greek for this session. - read the last 24 ver. of the last chapter of Luke and conjugated the verbs "tedyui "didwni" kae "derkvvhi" in the active voice. I wonder if this week will recall to your mind any of the incidents of a year ago - of the examination - the preparation for it & core. I wonder if in the treasure casket of your memory as in mine there are any happy hours which you count as the miser does his gold. - A week from next Sunday (16th) will be the anniversary of our correspondence' commencement, when you sat within the sound of Niagara's roar and penned [for] your first lines to me. Will you not celebrate it by writing another letter? Do not wait to answer this 'til then, but write something expressly in commemoration of that wonderful event, if it is nothing but a sermons. I will answer it a year from the day I answered that if you give me the date. [of it] I thank you for the catalogue of Williams College you sent, and send you one of the Eclectic just published. Barbara sends her love to you for your kind congratulations upon the success of the "Olive Branch" expressed in a previous letter - I have something more funny which I was going to tell you but have no room for it this time. Hoping to hear again very soon. I remain dearest James faithfully your own: Lucretia.[???] I submit the following proposition for you consideration- That it would be more consistent for me - a student - to receive calls generally at the appointed hours as I dislike to be considered deserving censure. - Please consider its merits - if it has any - and decide accordingly [????] L. [*45*]J.A. - . PresentMr. James A. Garfield Williamstown Mass.Williams College Nov. 12th 1854. Lucretia Dearest: - I am happy to sit down and answer your ever - welcome messages and can not feel that it is wrong for me to spend a part of the quiet Lord's Day afternoon in communing with you. I am still enjoying good health with the exception of an occasional difficulty with my threat which is quite easily affected by cold weather and exposure to the night air. My studies are still pleasant and interesting. It is indeed a great luxury to me to sit down and feel that all the day and evening are my own, without the necessity of spending most of it in teaching. But still, besides my regular College duties I find considerable time for Miscellaneous reading. I have today read a Sermon by Hugh Miller of Scotland called "The Two Records" which [*19*]is the best thing of its kind I have ever seen. The "Records" referred to are the Mosaic and Geological accounts of creation. He first speaks as a Geologist, and proves that there have been three great Geologic periods First, of great Vegetation from which coal was formed. 2nd of Great Sea Monsters, and 3rd of Great Land Animals. No remains of man are found below these, and there are indubitable testimonies that these occupied a great many thousand years in formation. In looking at the Bible account, he says, "I find myself called on as a Geologist, to account for but the of the six days. for of the day when light was created – of the day when the firmament was made – and the day when the two great lights were made, we need expect to find no record in the rocks. Now the 3rd, 5th and 6th days' creations were in the same order and kind as the three Geologic periods – and after those came Man. The day, he shows does not refer to 24 hours. for in the fourth verse of the second chapter the word "day" means the whole six. Hence it is indefinite and may be any length of time. He then answers an objection made by some, that if these were not natural days, the Institution of the Sabbath could not be observed. He says human actions can only be miniatures of the divine, just as a map may be a true representation of the world though a million times smaller. So man's days are but miniatures of the days of God, yet still a seventh of his time. He then says, God rested from the work of creating on his Seventh day, and the work of His Sabbath is not yet done for it is the work of Redemption. which brings to perfection the last work of his Creation - I did not think of taking so much space in speaking of that book, but I was much interested in it, and I wish you could find it and read it. I am sure you would not ask me for my Speech if you knew what kind of a thing it is. Please don't require me to send it till I have got reconciled from its nauseating effects But I will try to do it in a few days. I do get so sick of an oration by the time I get it delivered: - By the way I am doing a considerablein our Literary Society, and we have the best advantages I have ever enjoyed - I should like to have heard the valedictories of Barbara and O.P. Doubtless they were very fine. That reminds me of two years ago when there were two valedictories on that stage "Do I dwell on the memories of the past?" My only intimate Society is that of distant Friends, and my little world of joys is in the past, when I am here alone - I am much pleased with your proposition to write on the anniversary of the Strange beginning at Niagara, and I will do so. I hope to recieve an offering from you on written the [on the] 30th of Nov. the date of your first. I have half a mind not to let you read mine till you have written yours, but just as you please - But you must not wait till the 30th before you write to me at all - will you? - I hope you will find time in your next to tell me that funny thing you promised to tell, or rather spoke of telling - I know this is a real dull stupid letter, but please accept the intention for the deed - Give my love to Barbara for her kind remembrances. Will she be at Hiram this winter? - Dearest Lucretia, let me hear from you very soon, on a large sheet of paper As ever, Your James.Williams College Mass. Nov. 16th 1854. My Dear Lucretia: - Strange indeed are the thoughts that come thronging upon me as I wander back to one year ago this day, and if I can transcribe even a meagre portion of them correctly I shall do more than I expect to. What a strange, strange, world we live in!! Its lights and shadows how varied and changeful! My life especially has seemed to me a continued miracle. Its brightness and darkness, its sorrow and joy have been so strangely mingled, and yet I have had scarcely an inch of existence as yet. Next Sunday, 23 years ago, a man child was born, and they called his named J.A.G. - But I cannot, at this time even hint at the little world of incident, of Life -History - that has been enacted by and around me - I will speak more particularly of one year ago to day, when I stood among the wonders of the [*20*]of that rushing cataract. But a few months before, my spirit had been involved in a worse commotion than Niagara's, the details of which you know. I had felt for a time as if severed from society, and had no desire to renew my connection with it. But as well may the human heart live and pulsate in an iceberg's bosom, as to try to exist, and enjoy existence; alone, and uncared for by the tender sympathies of human kind, and to feel that no heart in all the cold world throbs in unison with it. O how wide the world seems then! My heart had for some time been going out instinctively, as it were, toward you, and yet I felt we were a great distance apart, and when I sat down to write those few first lines I felt as if I might be trespassing on forbidden[g] ground. but I thought if it should be considered improper, I would lay the blame to Niagara!! I cannot tell you how strangely I felt when I found your first letter, recognizing the reciept of mine, and speaking words of kindness. I cannot trace my heart's history, from its first faint beginnings, when the first little tendrils of my heart began to cling to yours. How frail were those tendrils then! They might easily have been broken, turned away, and forbidden to twine. But as time rolled on, they grew in strength and numbers till they have intertwined themselves around your whole being. My mind follows along through that correspondence in all its different features, and recounts my secret heart throbbings, at these happy little interviews. you remember them all - the midnight return from the New Year's Sleigh ride - the visiting Perintha's school - that lower chapel consecrated by the evening farewell of the Eclectic Students, when alternating between hope and doubt[fulness], I ventured to tell you what you knew already, and with a soul full of agitation waited to hear from your own lips, a response to my affection. Never, while reason sit on the throne of my being, can I forget the fullness of joy that filled my heart, when in that tone of earnestness that spoke all your soul, you told me I was loved. That evening ismarked with a "white stone" in my memory. Those words with which you answered me, are still ringing in my ears, distinct, as when they were spoken and their tones cheer me in loneliness and tell me I still am loved. Then came the spring, its studies and duties, and its thousand little spots of joy and sunshine, when we watched the opening peach blossoms at you window, while the sun all bright and golden, was sinking behind the western forests - read the beauties of Longfellow genial heart - or walked upon our lengthened shadows, as we descended the hill that slopes eastward from you home. I turn over the leaves of my Anabasi, and Kühner, here, and find on every page, mementos of departed scenes, and am led back to that chair by the stove in front of that little love seat, where sat those dear Grecians, oh yes, and this picture is lying before me, which calls to mind the injunction I whispered in the Artist's private ear, in regard to seating the group (did you then suspect I was so wicked?), I seem to be there again, but with one to recite, and only one book. Ah, I fear I was not always a faithful teacher then. But I did try to be - Again when the foreman's labor was done, that secret music in the Library told me I might while away a moment with the musician and talk of the passing events. But the session passes away swiftly - and left its events only among the things that ari5 But they all live in my memory clear as sunlight. They form a large share of my life when in loneliness, and much of my joy when not. The hour of departure came, and with beloved friends behind, and the cold world of strangers before, I left the scene of all those happy hours. Since that hour, Dearest one, your loved letters, those Souvenirs of the heart, have cheered and blessed me and here they lie before me with that likeness of your own dear self, and now in the silence of the night, your spirit seems to be with me here, and whisper words of tenderest affection, and I cannot tell you the gratitude of my heart to God, that I have found a treasure so dear to me. Dear loved one, I would not be too hopeful, and expect too much - I trust I am not. I have long ago determined to let sober judgement and not impulse rule my heart. But I am cheered by the hope that our hearts may one day be united without and intervening distance.Is it too much to hope that we may yet enjoy each other's society, in that holiest and closest of unions? I would fain write more - My mind leads on to the days when life advances and to that scene where life broadens and deepens into eternal life, and my soul rises up in strong desire, that we may there meet, freed from this clog of mortality, and drink together of the water of life that flows from the throne of God. But I must close. Would that I could be but one short hour by your side! - But dearest one, I know you will write a long, long letter to me, Do write freely, and tell me you hearts history and emotions. If I have been tedious in this forgive me. My thoughts have multitudinous, and I have penned them as they rose. Dearest, I can not see you tonight, but God has seen you, and I will ask Him to bless you. May Good Angels guard your slumbers and our Father Save you is the prayer of Your own James. [*21*][*Williamston Mass*] Hiram Nov. 21st /'54. Dearest James:- Not in my own little room - sacred by so many dear associations but in that formerly occupied by Harvey and Oliver which I have selected for winter quarters. I am however in a measure compensated for the loss by the two large windows looking out over the eastern hills - whitherward I love to turn my eyes in my spirit wanderings. Yesterday witnessed the opening of another session of the Eclectic. Only about thirty students were present, and this morning I think not more than a hundred, I doubt whether the number be as large as usual this winter, still a good many may come in yet and probably will. We have a new teacher Miss Merrills from Chardon. She is a teacher of good reputation and I hope it will be a benefit to the school to have her here. Barbara does not return this winter but teaches in the District where her father lives. I entered my name as a student again this morning but whether I stay or not I do not know. Miss. [*43*]Sarah Udall made me proposition yesterday morning to go as a teacher to Bellefontaine Logan Co. They have just started a Union school there and the Principal wrote to her wishing to secure her as a teacher, also requesting her to recommend to him some one to take charge of the department in Mathematics. Bro. Hayden sent her to me. I doubted my capability of taking such a place; but she tells me that Algebra and Geometry are the highest branches of Mathematics taught in those schools; and perhaps I might succeed. I gave her some little encouragement but when I came to talk with Father and Mother about it they seemed quite opposed to any such plan. They are so careful of me, and I can never be half thankful enough that I have such dear kind parents to watch over and care for me, still I sometimes think it would be the best thing for me they could do to turn me out of doors and make me take care of myself. I never shall have any independence as long as I stay at home and have some one to care for every want. Miss. Udall told me this morning that she had written to the Principal and told him of me, and that I had given her some encouragement, and if he has not secured another teacher, and should want me I am in hopes that I can coax our people to give their consent. Miss. Udall cannot go at present owing to her engagement here but intends to go as soon as she can get released. I shall probably know something more about it before I write again. Please tell what is your opinion regarding it. It may be rather a wild adventure for me to undertake, still I cannot think so now. - Mother just came and told me that Harvey is below, I must run down and talk with him a while. Again with you. - Harvey left Oberlin last Saturday and returns to us in fine health and spirits. He is going to teach at Shalersville this winter in the place of Mr. Pickett who has gone to Franklin. O.P. Miller commenced to day a school in the Burton Academy formerly under the superintendence of the Rev. Colegrove. - Really, our Eclectic students are filling important stations. The funny thing I was about to tell you was, that Mr. Miller talked to me quite seriously about going with him as an assistant if he should have a sufficient number of scholars to need one. Nothing very funny to be sure; still it would have sounded ratherlaughable - O.P. Miller and L. Rudolph teachers [of] in Burton Academy!! - I am sure I should be much pleased with the sermon of Hugh Miller's you had been reading and if I should find it will most certainly read it. I have been reading very little for a few weeks past and that little confined to "Willis' Poems". I never loved Poetry till I read his. His "Sacred Poems" are all most beautiful and I could never tire reading them; but his masterpiece in my judgment is one entitled “The Scholar of Thebet Ben Khorat” Thebet Ben Khorat was a famous Arabian astrologer said to have spent forty years discovering the motion of the eighth sphere. The Poem is founded on the story of a young Bedouin Arab who in his thirst for knowledge abandoned his roving tribe, and by too close application to astrology lost his reason and died. His characters are drawn so life like, and every object though revealed in the soft beauty of moonlight, yet as clearly defined as the sun's brightest rays could make them. I cannot forbear giving you one quotation. " Ben Khorat knelt before his telescope Gazing with earnest stillness on the stars. The gray hairs, struggling from his turban folds Played with the entering wind upon his cheeks, And on his breast his venerable beard With super natural whiteness loosely fell. The black flesh swell'd about his sandal-thongs Tight with his painful posture, and his lean And withered fingers to his knees were clenched, And the thin lashes of his straining eye Lay with unwinking closeness to the lens, Stiffen'd with tense up-turning. Hour by hour Till the stars melted in the flush of morn,5 The old astrologer knelt moveless there Ravished past pain with the bewildering spheres; And hour by hour, with the same patient thought Pored his pale scholar on the characters [of Chal] Of Chaldee writ, or, as his gaze grew dim With weariness, the dark eyed Arab laid [Laid] His head upon the window and look'd forth Upon the heavens awhile until the dawn, And the soft beauty of the silent night Cool'd his flush'd eyelids, and then patiently He turned unto his constant task again." I love it so well that I would like to write the whole but I will not trouble you with more. How strange that one so gifted should present traits of the characters so dark and forbidding as one said to be manifested by Willis [he] - that such a noble intellect should be liked with appetites so depraved. Great minds are said to possess great faults and surely it seems so; and [in tho], where they are not yielded to the holy influence of Christ's teachings most hideously do they show themselves. - The Doctor and his lady are making their first trial athousekeeping. you ask if they are lost to the young folks. Not exactly; but like most married people they are getting rather worldly and cannot find much time to spend visiting. We are not keeping any boarders this winter excepting cousin Emily Mason, and [there] how much I enjoy it as well as the rest of the family - to be alone - to gather around the table and hearth stone and feel that we are all one. It is not very pleasant to think of leaving home now; but I hope I shall be directed to do whatever is best. - I am very much obliged to you for the information that your letter was "dull and stupid"; for I am sure I never should [never] have found it out, and it would have been a sad pity to have remained always in ignorance of such an important fact. I presume you had not wholly recovered from the effects of that Oration. What a strange fellow you are! Now will you not call me a nice good girl for writing such a good long letter? And more will you not give me an answer quite as long? I hope you will not keep your anniversary letter until I have written; for I don't want to wait so long for it. Now my love good bye till I hear again which I hope shall be very soon. Fondly yours: Lucretia. [*44*]Williams College Mass Thanksgiving Day the 30th / 54 Dearest Lucretia You dear letter was duly received, and now on the day of New England's Thankfulness, I am seated to be with you a short time. Tis a bitter cold day without, and the winter winds howl like demons. The valley is barren and bare, and the mountain tops are shrouded with a garment of snow. It is indeed a dreary day without, but New England's heart is warm within, and thousands of homes are made glad by the return of children who gather around the old familiar hearthstone of their childhood home, and thousands of pious hearts are to day giving up in thankfulness to God for the mercies of the past year and asking His blessing to rest upon the absent ones who tread the wild forests or ride upon the mountain [*22*][mountain]wave. This is a good old custom in New England of Observing this day of public Thanksgiving and festivity. I think the West is to irreverent in reference to it. I have no sympathy with that narrow-minded fear that Some Christians have of defiling the garments of their sanctity if they observe a religious appointment made by the commonwealth. This forenoon at eleven we assembled at the place of worship and the aged minister recounted the history of the Pilgrim Fathers, and their struggles to plant Freedom and Christianity on the cold shores of New England, and told us how. "They left unstained what there they found Freedom to worship God." He spoke of the Providence of God over our nation and especially this State the past year, and then over individuals. I was more edified than I have been for some time before. About middle of the afternoon, every table will be laden with something special for the Thanksgiving Dinner - for the attendance upon which I shall soon be called from my writing - I presume - I am glad to know you are not keeping so large a family this winter. You must feel free - having so long had so many around you. And you have changed your room. You are now in the place where I first called on you last winter. Do you remember? Willis' Poems are surpassing sweet, and I think you have been right and selecting "Khorat" as the best. I love to read his writings, and I cannot but love the man that thinks such thoughts. I know there have been many imputations against his moral character, but I cannot look upon him as a fallen one. His sacred Poems were mostly written when he was in College, and were the breathings of his uncontaminated heart. & I suppose we may be assured when reading them that they were not written by a hypocrite. Since then, he has at some times faltered in his course, but I think he has by no means become a wreck. There is a palliative fact in reference to such men which we ought to consider. We know theyhave strong and deep feelings, and these will sometimes gain the ascendency and thus lead them astray. It is far more difficult for them to live soberly at all times, than for passionless, and matter-of-fact men, and I think a man will be judged according to this power he has to resist temptation - Your plan for teaching in Bellfontaine I should think would be much better than to take a district and would throw you into a new vein of things. I hope your folks with conclude that it is best for you to go - I wonder if you are writing to me now! How I would like to look over your shoulder and not have you know it! I hope you will not get tired till you have written a long one. Five months ago yesterday [since] I left Ohio. The hours are swiftly rolling away - In about ten days the session closes, and a third of the College year is past - Are any of my Boynton cousins at Hiram? I had a letter from William two or three months ago, and that is the last I have heard from them. I hope to hear from you seen in reference to your course in teaching or indeed anything you please to write. Now this letter is'nt a bit dull nor stupid I am sure - Dearest, I hope to have the privilege of reading your anniversary letter soon. Meantime I am as ever Your own affectionate James.[*Williamstown Mass*] Hiram. Nov. 30th /54. My Dear James:- Was it by the guidance of an over-ruling Providence whose eye penetrates the inmost recesses of all hearts, and reads their most secret thoughts that the Gov. of our State was led to appoint this, a day of "thanksgiving" so that there should be at least one heart whose every chord might thrill with deepest gratitude for the blessings of the past year?- Be it as it may - surely there is one spirit tuned to gladness and praise, and that one dwells within my breast. - One year ago this evening I sat by a little table in Aunt Raymond's sitting room, with a letter [in my] before me [hand], which a few evenings before had been placed in my hand and had elicited much wonder by its strange Postmark - "Niagara", nor was my surprise less when I opened and read the name of my teacher J. A. Garfield affixed to it: and now as I sat there with the shadows of twilight stealing around me I asked myself - shall I respond by letter? Will it be expected again I read the daring injunction "Address J. A. G. Hiram Portage Co. O." Surely - thought I - I know not when I shall have [*41*]the opportunity of addressing him personally and offering my thanks for his kindness, and I will write, and if it is not expected, that may be my excuse. And I did write - what I scarcely know only it was something which brought a response and thus a correspondence was commenced. But little did I dream how much was depending on that letter, and had I not written should never have known why you grew less friendly and turned from me with coldness as you have since told me you should have done. Only this would have been my sad reflection, there is some good reason, and silently, sorrowfully, [?returning ] the clasping tendrils of my heart's affections would have turned from you forever. But thank Heaven I was directed [I was] then into that bright path which has led me so very near your heart where I can so fondly rest in that sweet confidence which is the joy and light of my life. - This evening I have before me all these dear treasures - the offerings of your heart which have come to bless me, and as I have glanced [?them ] - all over from the first - when I was only a sister - on to that little note - sent me the morning after that eventful eve when first our love was spoken - which speaks, if not a new tie formed, binding our hearts more closely, at least the acknowledgment of it; and still onward to the last the brightest jewel of all, which has deep engraven in its radiant richness the fond assurance that our spirits are one - I have seemed to live each happy hour over again, and felt the drawing of that [?] cord which so imperceptible has been binding our harts. Now dearest I know my love for you is no idle fancy which I have received thoughtlessly and cherished until I have wrought my self into the belief that it is an undying affection; for long did I struggle against it you ask me to give my heart's history, and I will confess all. I never dreamed that a thought of your heart was ever turned to me until people began to remark to me - "Why - Mr. Garfield is very particular in his attentions to you" - and the like, nor did I believe it ever then ; still I thought if it was so, I would never return - any thing more than a sisterly regard. My principal reason for thus thinking was that I then felt [that] you had done wrong in the course you had taken in your affairs with Mary, and another was that I doubted my own capability of ever loving another again as I ought, to [ever] think of proceeding beyond the most common-friendship, and this reason long after the other was removed deterred me from allowing any of the [?warmer]affections of my heart to rise for you, and though at times I felt I could love you if I only knew I was loved; still I crushed every such emotion as a usurper whose power must not be permitted to grow. But it was useless and when I felt that I had yielded - that in spite of all my determinations you had gained the mastery [not] and led me captive, not robbed and loaded with chains, but bound with silken fetters, and made mistress of your own heart's empire; then trusting all with God I was happy. And by his providential hand I believe I have been thus far guided. I know that I have his approbation in loving you, by the deep fulness of joy which he makes my portion, and now although no earthly tie binds still trusting in his goodness, with you I will hope that even in this life we may be united by the holiest of earthly ties; and with you [look] I will look away beyond the scenes of time when we shall meet in that heavenly world where free from all the trials and temptations which often darken our pathway here, we may [and] mingle our praises and songs of gratitude forever to Him who has died to redeem us. -I know not how to tell you how fondly I cherish the kind words and sentiments of regard and affection which your dear letter contains. I have read it again and again. Dearest my spirit was with you as you penned those lines. Yes, that night I was watching by [the] a couch of suffering. Poor Mary Backrigher is very low with the typhoid fever and that night I watched with her, and O, did I not think of you! But where are you tonight? Far far away from me that is too true But will not the time come again ere long when I may not only in spirit but in truth rest near your heart and list to your voice while you speak words of kindness and love. Heaven grant that it may. I am well aware that this is but a poor compensation for what you have sent me, but such strange thoughts and emotions have been crowding for utterance that I have been lost, scarcely knowing what to write: be assured however that not a thought or word of love in yours has passed unnoticed, and to which my heart has not given response. You know that I love you purely, deeply, devotedly, my own - my dearest James, and I will close committing you to the care of Him "Who doeth all things well" Hoping to hear again soon, I remain Aff. Your own Lucretia. [*42*][*N Pownal Vt*] Hiram, Dec. 15th, 1854. Dearest - But! But! Sir. - None of those frowns. - but a word out of that mouth of yours till you are smiling as a May-day. - There - that's a dear little man - now just one word of assurance, one sweet kiss of forgiveness and I will proceed to tell you why I have not - as always before - hastened to answer your blessed letter. You know you did not answer my last for almost a week after its reception - but that is not the reason. You know I never harbor a spirit of revenge. - In the first place I was very busy this winter, still I was intending to devote tuesday evening to you as heretofore; but our very dear sister Almeda was here to visit me; and since I have not had the time except after 9 o'clock P.M. when a weary frame bade me seek my pillow. But friday evening brings a little release and promises a rest tomorrow, so drawn up in the "old arm chair" before the sitting-room fire - where a year ago we enjoyed an occasional chat - I am holding my midnight vigils in [with] sweet communion with you my absent [*51*]loved one - absent! - yes they tell me so, but at this quiet holy hour how are you not with me? Does not your spirit linger - so very near my heart as to make its beating quicker? Perchance it may. - I am not at Bellefontaine yet you perceive, and that is not the worst of it I have no hope of being there at present. Miss. Udell has received another letter from the Principal containing an urgent request for teachers but our people will not consent to my going this winter, and so to please them I have taken two classes to teach here, one in Algebra and one in Latin Lessons. I would much rather teach in some other school. Still I do not find it as unpleasant as I feared. My little class in Latin recite in the corner of the Lower chapel where your Greek class recited last spring. I hope I do not grow absent minded there ever. Will you not sometimes think of me between the hours of two and three in the afternoon - the time that I am engaged there, - and in imagination come back to your place (I wonder where that was) there? - You ask concerning your Boynton Cousins. Phebe is here this winter, and is one of my Algebra girls Harriet and William are teaching I believe. - I mentioned Miss. Booth, as being with us. Yes she made us a little visit and how much like home she made it seem again. She seems in fine health and spirits and just as good and noble as ever, and as warm a friend of the Eclectic and its interests as ever. I happened to be the favored listener to a long conversation between her and Bro. Munsell, and could not but laugh to see how enthusiastic they both were in speaking of its prospects. The boldness and strength of her mind appeared more prominent than ever - perhaps it was owing to the seperation from her for awhile - and as I listened to her conversation displaying so much of sound judgement and deep earnest thought I almost envied her the possession of such noble powers - O no, not that exactly but I could not help wishing there were more such women who not only possessed such minds but also such enduring physical powers. Nothing makes me feel my nothingness more than to compare my labor with hers. Besides teaching I have only two classes, and Music and often it takes all of my time and strength too, while she would teach six or seven classes and study [too] besides. I know you have done more than that even, but I don't pretend to compare myself with you. - I am studyingFrench and Trigonometry this session. I commenced with the Horace class but in arranging the classes they were obliged to throw me out of it in order to accomodate a good many others and so I yielded, and there is no Greek class for me. They have a Piano here now and I am taking lessons on that, but I grow almost discouraged when I think how much time it is going to take to become even a passable performer, and almost regret sometimes that I ever commenced I need the time so much to spend with other things. I do not like to give it up though entirely after having spent what time I have with it and surely will not if you wish me to go on with it; for dearest what earthly object have I to live for more than your happiness, and so far as that may not conflict with my duties to a higher power for that I will live. - I suppose it is vacation with you now, and how are you spending it? I hope not so busily but that you can often very often send me a line, I suppose you have not forgotten your promise for the night before New Years. You recollect you have several letters to write then, but let mine be the last (I have a right to be selfish haven't I?) Tell me when you write again what time in the night you will write that, and I will try and reckon longitude correctly enough so as to be writing to you the same time. - Your reflections on the character of Willis were just in a measure I will admit. It is too true that we censure the failings of others without a due consideration of the circumstances surrounding them, or the strength of their passions, and often blame when we should rather pity; still I think there are limits beyond which no one can go without incurring guilt. I cannot but admire such men as Willis and Byron, but I tremble for them. - My sheet admonishes me that I must close; for I should be sorry to trouble you with another as you are so very considerate as to please me with only one. Now dearest take good care of your health during these cold wintry storms. you wrote awhile since that your throat was troubling you again, and I hope it will prove an admonition which you will heed. Yours with the truest affection: Lucretia. [*I have not received that speech yet. So do not wait a week after you get this before you write again will you? I will try and be more punctual hereafter. L.*][*Williamston Mass*] 10 m Longitude Hiram. Dec. 31st 1854. 101/2 o'clock P.M. My Dear James: New and strange are the emotions thrilling my soul as I sit down at this still solemn hour to commence writing to you feeling this assurance that away over many an intervening hill and dale you are also seated at this very hour - moment perchance - with your thoughts to me turning, and your heart prompting messages of love for your hand to trace, destined for my eyes soon to behold. Another year gone! Numbered with the years that were but are not, - now a part of the mighty Past. And whither have gone all its hours - its precious moments? So vividly are the scenes of one year ago this time before me - when I sat very near you with my hand clasped in your own - that it seems but yesterday, that and I can scarcely realize that long months have borne me from them - and you so far from my side. But true it is. - To day I have been sitting within the sound of Bro. Aider's voice, and trying to be a listener. but my thoughts would not follow - Backward they were wandering over the past year, and I trust the reflections in which I have indulged [*48*]will in a measure [return] atone for my inattention to the words of the Preacher. Of all my years the last has brought me the most pure and true happiness. Its hours of unalloyed enjoyment have been many, and no small portion of them have been the hours of sweet communion with you. Through the bright spring time daily I met your loving smiles and heard your words of kindness and though the hour of parting came, and duty called you far away; still I was happy; for oft from your blessed hand [had] came those sweet assuranses of your spirits presence, which told me that still I was loved. - The bell tolls the departing year. - 1855. A happy happy New year to you. Its untried realities are all before us and what they may prove we know not; but for you I trust they may all prove bright and beautiful: for you are deserving it. Now dear James listen to me. I have said the past year my brightest: but for all its rich gifts what return have I made? Have I become any better? Have I by any act manifested an[d] increasing devotion to Him from whom all my enjoyments and blessings have come? Spiritually, have I grown and gained new strength? These are queries which come home to me with startling earnestness. and when I think of the response I am compelled to give, I am terrified. When I consider how listlessly I have lived - how unmindful of duty I tremble for myself, while the tear of penitence falls. What is the best of life if Heaven is not gained? - I am resolved that another year shall not so pass Heaven helping me, and you my dearest earthly friend I make a witness of this resolution, and ask you that often you may remind me of it. One year from this night if I am spared the precious boon - life I shall write to you again - unless circumstances unforseen should forbid - and I am determined to have less cause for regret. With you, I believe we should make the chief object of living to be "to make ourselves holy and happy" and for this I will strive. - The old year passed away with sunshine upon His brow. The [?ting mists] and clouds have departed like the dimness which often falls from the vision of old age ere it opens upon a new life, and the New Year is ushered in with the holy starlight watching over it, and welcomed by the moon's soft [bleam] beams. So in love and holy joy may its days all be numbered and peacefully may it die. My heart is full of deep untold love but my lips are sealed, and my pen cannot reveal it. - No more to night my love. Tuesday evening - The report has just reached my ears that Philip and Nancy are married, and of course I must sit right down and tell you of it lessons or no lessons. Sterlingwas here last week and told us that Burns had gone out to Euclid and would be here Saturday; but he came not and this evening brought the strange intelligence that he had "gone the way of all the Earth". I scarcely know whether to credit it or not. Certainly I have no objection but I do feel a little provoked that he did not make us a visit. I have half a mind to send him a scolding for it. Last week seemed quite like old times here. Sterling, John Harnit Mr. Bangard Harvey have been here, and some other lesser stars. Our "Massachusetts boys" were not here though, had they been it would have been as much like old times as I would have asked - sure. It does not seem just right that you must spend your long vacation away from us, but I suppose it is, at least we will try and think so, and be thankful that you have such a fine opportunity for enjoyment. The holidays have passed very pleasantly with us. A cousin and her husband from Illinois have been visiting us. Saturday before Christmas a load of us cousins got up a farm horse team, and took a sleigh-ride to Warren to visit an Aunt living there, and Christmas evening we all met at Uncle John Masons, and, and had a merry time I can assure you for we are a jovial set when we get together. Yesterday (New Years) I staid at home the best place in the world after all, and did nothing out of the natural course only to start my Latin class in "Caesar". The weather is most beautiful and spring like, not in the least like winter, and I can scarcely believe cold storms must yet visit us, and I wish they would not. -I was not a little pleased with your reflections upon college life and college students. I think I will not tell you though that you are a little unwise perhaps in speaking so freely for [if] you may destroy some of my "reverential awe" which might hereafter be of vast avail to your dignified self. I feel a little like teasing you tonight. Here I have been reciting this two months I guess for that prodigy of a speech to make its appearance, and now the grateful assurance comes that I may wait a month longer. Well I will have a little revenge any how, upon the popular lecturer before the Easter Academies. I suppose I will not need to inquire anything concerning the subject treated of in any of his lectures as I presume they will soon be published. I wonder if he is a married man? If not I wonder if he is engaged Dear me! What a chance for me if he is not. How astounding - the wife of the Honorable Right Reverend - a great lecturer. - Your remarks on the comparative merit of Almeda and Miss. Antoinette Brown were most just. I doubt not Miss Booth will prove a brighter ornament to Oberlin than Miss. Brown. I would say nothing disparagingly concerning [*50*]Antoinette or her efforts to do good still I have my doubts in reference to the propriety of the stand she has taken and must yet see it verified before I can believe her course the wisest in order to accomplish the greatest [amot] amount of good. I read one of "Coopers" novels before I was old enough to appreciate the style and only remember the story. I am sure his characters were admirably handled though from the impression they left on my mind. This winter I am trying to read Rollin's Ancient History with Ellen McKlena but we do not progress very rapidly. I hope to receive your New Year's letter soon and hope you will answer this very soon, and not think that I have been naughty. With the truest affection I remain your: Lucretia. P.S. Cousin "Len" Gridley is very anxious that I should send you his best respects. He says that "Aunt Lydia Garfs" told him that every two weeks a letter came into the office for me from Massachusetts, and one went out to Mr. Garfield, who wrote them of course she did not know. But she will not have occasion to trouble herself longer about it for the care of the Office has gone into other hands. Mr. Alvah Udell has charge of it now, I presume my post script will remind you of "Bunyan's last words" L.Mr. James A. Garfield Williamstown Mass.North Pownal, Bennington Co. Vt. Friday Decr. 22nd 1854. Dear Lucretia: - Yours of the 15th inst. remailed at Williamstown on the 20th was received here last night. and I hasten to respond. The snow for the past ten days had so blocked up the railroads that there has been a great dearth in my epistolary importations. and I was very glad once more to receive your very welcome letter. You see that I am in the Green Mountain State, and I want have you know the fact that the thermometer stands 26° below zero. So that it would brighten one's ideas and whiten his whiskers to be out to day - But I, being in a warm room, cannot be much sharpened by it. I came here the evening after our term closed, by invitation to lecture before an Academy in this place & since then I have organized a class of 30 in Penmanship. and am now teaching them evenings [*23*]and spending the daytime in Studying German, reading and writing - It is a very pleasant and profitable way of spending the winter. And I shall spend the remainder of the vacation in the "regions round about." I have had an invitation to spend Christmas & mid New Year's Day in Monterey among my Garfield friends, but I cannot go there more than one or two days if at all. Charles passed through here yesterday on his way to Esprence N.Y. to spend Christmas with his Dutch cousins there. The College term is through and I have been there long enough to learn the ways and nature of College life -- and have now some leisure to reflect upon it from a distance -- Though there are many fine Scholars there, still I think there are comparatively few who will ever do very much in the world. Nothing can atone for the want of good common sense -- G.H. Marvel in his "Reveries," very justly says: "You will find that the country bears with remarkable equanimity such [?idations] of College talent. It is quite wonderful how all the Burkes and Scotts and Peels among College Seniors do quietly disappear as one gets on in life." Still I am pleased with the course, and if I gain nothing else, I shall rid my self of that reverential awe, which I have formerly felt toward Collegians. The people are terribly gulled by College puffs - I believe the primary object of living is to make ourselves holy and happy, and hence the necessity of knowing and doing. We are sometimes told that ignorance is bliss, but it can only by of a negative kind. I am glad you are teaching in the Eclectic if you cannot go to Bell Fontaine. I can fully sympathize with you in that business. Ah. It is 5 minutes past two, and you are just commencing with your Latin Lessons. Successins tibi fieren; "Ah distinctly I remember (though it is the bleak December And each separate glorious ember makes its ghost upon the floor") that little low seat by the stove and the chair before it. Moons must wax and wane ere I shall see it. And quite likely I shall fill it "Nevermore"-- I am glad you are still practicing on the Melodeon and Piano. I certainly think you will never regret it and I hope you will not abandon it.I am very happy to announce to you that my Speech, which does not merit half the worth of the ink you used in speaking of it, is in Williamstown and will not have the pleasure of a visit from its father for about one month. So you see I can't possibly send it now --!! I do not yet know where I shall be on New Year's Eve - but certainly not far from the Western line of Massachusetts - and I commence writing a letter to you at just 11 o'clock Sun time - I will then think that you are writing to me. - I am glad to know that Bro. Munsell is awake in reference to the Eclectic. Almeda has first rate views concerning it - and is, herself, half an army. This world knows very few such noble women - She is so unselfish in heart - and liberal in views. - I think she has much more strength and originality of mind than Antoinette Brown - and will do much more good by the course she is taking than Miss Brown by hers - I hope you will not be obliged to abandon altogether your Greek and Latin in order to avoid clashing - but I know how that is - I have had to give up a good many things so for the the benefit of the students -- I am reading some of Irvings work, and one of Coopers Novels - They are both fine writers - Irving doubtless stand among the first three American writers. He is so simple clear and beautiful. Cooper's style is very fine, and he handles his characters in a masterly manner - Your sweet anniversary letter has been carefully stowed away in my hearts library, and I am very thankful for it -- Now I hope to hear from you again very soon. Direct as before to Williamstown, for I do not know where I shall be, but it will be forwarded to me - With the warmest love, I am as ever your affectionate JamesWilliam College Mass. New Years Eve 11 o'clock Dec. 31st 1854 My Dear Lucretia : - The months have rolled away , and it is now the late evening of 1854. I have finished my writing school in Pownal, and have returned to Williams to Spend Sunday & Monday. and have a quiet time to review the past year and think of the future. Charles has retired to rest and the clock's black finger has just touched the eleventh hour. My eyes are heavy and my temples throb but my heart is full - and I want to write down what rises in my mind without [promising?] it - How short the time since that circle sat together on the Death night of eighteen Hundred and Fifty Three. The intermediate months seem to have dropped out and I am there again with all those loved and happy faces around me enjoying how pleasantly the passing hour reflecting upon the past [*24*]and hoping and conjecturing the events of the retired year. I look upon each face and ponder upon their hopes, prospects, joys, sorrows and trials. I trace their history along down to the present, and wonder where they are at this hour, and what are their feelings compared with what they then were. One has launched her bark of Life upon the flowery Sea. and where she is or what is her enjoyment I do not know. But one thing is consoling and should be a source of great gratitude that Death has not claimed any one of the number. But all have yet a prospect of life and usefulness. But many have been the changes since then we met. And now many long and weary miles separate that band and no two that I know of are together. It is more than probable that all that company will never meet again, surely never to enjoy another such an evening. And now as I look out from my window upon the cold silent mountains sleeping so chillingly quiet under the cold round moon, it sends an icy thrill to my heart and makes me feel my utter loneliness, and the [motability?] of all human affairs - I can bear up against all such feelings when the stern duties of Life stand [forming?] before me and I nerve myself up to grapple them, but when the week is done and I retire within myself and live on the Sweet remembrances of the past, I feel as if I were alone in a barren wilderness with no flower in sight nor no friendly shade trees near. Yet I am cheered by the thought that there are flowers, though beyond my sight, that breathe sweet fragrance which wafted to me by the western gales, is more refreshing to me than "Spicy gales from Araby the Blest." Friendship and Love are the twin sisters that gladden the world and, I must think, will form a large share of the joys of Heaven. Tom Moore has beautifully said: "So brief our existence a glimpse at the most Is all we can have of the few we hold dear. And oft even joy is unheeded and lost For the want of some [friend] heart that can echo it near.Ah well may we hope when this short life is done To meet in some world of more permanent bliss For a smile and a grasp of the hand passing on Is all we enjoy of each other in this" - My course, during the past year, has been crowned with greater success than I anticipated and I feel satisfied with all, except my Christian life, and I Thank My Heavenly Father that He has shielded me with his hand of Power and Goodness - and oh I thank Him for the kind friends he has given me, and that I have been blessed with the warm affections of your own true heart. I look forward to the coming year with considerable faith and hope, and feel ready to labor & to wait. I leave its events with that "Watchman that never slumbers nor sleeps," and trust to the hand that has led me on thus far on life's path way - Hark, tis past the moon of night. I feel upon my spirit the first breath of the New Year. Dearest one, may it be a happy and joyous one to you, and may our God protect and guide you safely to its close - With the warmest love I am as ever Your most affectionate James.North Adams Mass Jan 2nd 1855 Dear Lucretia: Pardon my delay in mailing this letter, but an accident prevent it. Our stage load of ten were tipped over and narrowly escaped being killed. But Providentially none of us were seriously injured, but we were delayed and missed the cars so that I have not been able to mail it sooner. Direct as before to Mass, I am on my way to get another writing school somewhere if I can. Let me hear from me soon. Affectionately James [*Williamstown Mass*] Hiram. Jan. 13th 1858. My Dear James: The labors of the week are ended; and again in the quiet and seclusion of my little [sometime?] I am seated to enjoy another hour of sweet converse with you. Again the winter's winds are howling and the spirit of the storm is abroad in his fury, and as I draw closely to the cheerful waiting fire with all the comforts of a happy home surrounding me, I feel how much my heart should be thankful for the rich gifts so bounteously bestowed upon me ; still I hope it is not wrong though I indulge a secret thought that another favor granted, another blessing bestowed might add to the fullness of my happiness' cup, and yet no drop be wasted nor aught from its worth [be?h?ted]. Surely dearest, could I love my home less, or place a lower estimate upon its joys were you beside me to tell with one fond look what [what] words may never utter while with love's caress I bid your temples cease their throbbing, and kiss away weariness from your drooping eyelids? __ [*89*]I received your new year's offering wednesday evening and thank you a thousand times for a gift so rich, so beautiful - a gem of thought - a jewel from the hearts rich treasures. -- How swiftly the moments fly ahead two weeks of the new year have sped forever away, but if we give to each moment as it passes its weight of duty performed to carry on to judgement we need not wish them less fleet for whatever of happiness the future has in store for us will sooner come, and if sorrow is our portion 'twill sooner be just, and the life that knows no bitterness will sooner open to our view. Tomorrow we commence a meeting here to last through the week and perhaps longer. Bro. Hayden will carry it on unless they should yet succeed in obtaining aid from some other one. I trust it will result in good to us all. You and Charles ought to be with us. A week ago yesterday we had a sort of dedication of our Library here. The school and citizens were called together two o'clock P.M. and several short speeches were made by the teachers and some others. They have about one hundred volumes to commence with. (rather a meager library compared with thousands to which you have access) Still it is only a beginning, and we have great hope that, now we have a nucleus formed, it will soon accumulate an amount sufficient at least to obtain for itself a possible degree of respectability, The Beachers, also some of the Citizens seem quite determined to make a strong and determined effort to raise the school to its proper place, and I believe they will succeed. Bro. Dunshes says as I once heard you say that if it is raised to a college it must be second to none in the Union. Of course it must take long years to effect this; still there is no impossibility why it may not be accomplished if the right spirit and a sufficient amount of it can be awakened among its patrons. I have been reading Horace Mann's inaugural address, delivered at receiving the Presidency of Antioch College. He is truly a great man, and I doubt whether he is surpassed in strength of intellect; and vigor and originality of thought, by any one in our Republic Alexander Campbell not exsepted. His has been a different field of action from Bro. Campbells, and on which has not given him no great conspicuity to as large a portion of mankind; still in his sphere he holds a placenot less prominent or perhaps important, and acts his part with no less power or efficiency. His position in reference to educating the sexes together is bolder than I had supposed. He even admits [the] such schools are "matrimonial schools", and urges some very good reasons why they should be. He thinks there is no place where young people can became so thoroughly and intimately acquainted with each other as in the recitation room where twice or thrice daily they meet for four or six years; and I think there is some truth in it; He acknowledges there may be some unpleasant matches made, but where in the wide world is that avoided? and if the number of such matches made there [are] is comparatively less than in other situations surely it is a strong argument in his favor. But I suppose it will be along time before your Eastern Colleges will admit women to stand beside you. - Phebe tells me that she received a letter from Henry and Susan a few days since and that they were inquiring about you. I think you ought to write them a letter giving them your whereabouts. Browns and harry are really married, and that is not all I believe Philip will give up his course of study. Sterling told when here that it would take but a small matter to throw him of the track, That being the case I am sure he will not get over such a large one safely. But doubtless you hear from him and know his intentions far better than I can surmise them. Now dearest take good care of your health, and let me hear again very soon of your purposes, enjoyment &c, &c. That we may be kept steadfast in the faith, and our love pure and holy in Christ is my prayer. Truly you own: LucretiaPoestenkill N. York. February 5th 1855 Dearest Lucretia: I can no longer bear this dearth of letters. and though no doubt you have sent your last to Williamstown. However it may be I will wait no longer but will write - I came here about the 8th of Jan. and in a short time started a class in penmanship. I had a fine prospect of a class of 50 or 60 till on Lord's Day I spoke to the little congregation of Disciples here and by that means it was known that I belonged to that "poor despised company", & then there arose a persecution against the school. But I finally went and with a very small school and nearly all brethren The school ran on into the College term one week closing on Tuesday evening Jan 30th. The next evening Bro. M. I. Streator, who is their regular speaker here, commenced a series of meetings here. and insisted that I should stay And assist him during the week and I finally did so. Since then I have spent my entire time in the work of the meeting. I have spoken more than half of the time and have been obliged to spend the day in preparing for the evening. The interest has deepened at each succeeding meeting and on Lords Day & Evening the house was crowded and attentive. One has been numbered and we confidently hope for several more. I expected certainly to leave for College yesterday, but at the urgent request of Bro. Sheator, and the Brethren here I have consented to stay the remainder of this week. I have had to labor assiduously and have spoken eleven discourses. So I know you will not blame me for not writing sooner. I ought to be at my studies, but if the sacrifice of a few days will add one new joy to the Sorrowful heart of any suffering one, I shall be more than compensated. But next Monday I Shall surely return. About two weeks ago I received a bundle of New Years letters for which I was very thankful, and dearest, I need not tell you, that your dear letter brought joy and happiness to my heart. Since then I have received no letter from any one, but I suppose I have a generous boxfull at Williams. I am very anxious to hear from you for it seems almost an age since I have received any thing from you. I have written hurriedly thus far in hopes to fill this sheet for I have many things to say, but my time is almost up and the mail is just going. And if I do not send it now I cannot for three days. When I am in Wms again, you shall hear from me at length. Hoping right soon to receive from you a letter of affection I am As ever, Your loving JamesNo 12 South College, Williamstown College Fast Day. Thursday Feb. 22nd/55 Dearest Lucretia: I have returned to my college labors, and now, on the day that all New England Colleges have set apart for fasting and prayer for the success of Colleges and Universities. I have a quiet hour to commune with you - It seems like and age since I heard from you - though your last loved letter of Jan 15th did not reach me till a short time ago, yet it was written so long ago that it makes it five weeks since I have heard from you. When I last wrote to you I was engaged in a protracted meeting with Bro. M. J. Sheater of Poestenkill Rens. Co N.Y. I remained there a week after I wrote that letter, and the meeting continued with increasing interest during the whole time. It was a very hard place to start in and [*26*]every thing seemed against us. the other [givers?] seem very bitter, and much prejudiced against the little congregation of Disciples there, and worst of all they themselves were all distracted and disoriented by neighborhood difficulties. But the interest steadily increased and very much of their prejudice gave way - Several were immersed - quite a number from other denominations were convinced of the truth of the gospel as plead by our brethren - and the Disciples were much strengthened and refreshed - It was half month of great joy and blessing to me - I labored very hard, but enjoyed it very much - For some reason the burden of the meeting fell upon me and I was not prepared, and consequently was obliged to study all day to prepare for the evening. While there I spoke fifteen discourses and I am glad to be able to tell you that my throat is but very slightly worse for it. I supposed it would make me much worse, but I now think if I do not get it injured any more during my College course it will be well. Your letter tells me of a meeting there and a late letter from Bro. Hayden tells us something of its progress, though it was then in continuance. Oh how I would love to be there and enjoy it! I know you must be having a joyful time. And you have a nucleus of a Library started. I am very glad to hear that. I do hope our Brethren will take hold of that matter in right good earnest. I know they can if they will and they can have a respectable Library in a few years - I have heard of the "Demise" of our Dear Bro Philip, and I confess myself very much astonished. My peers had fallen one by one around me and [Bu?] had so often triumphantly remarked "Well James, I guess that we shall be the only ones who will stand to our posts in the [Connubial?] contest! but, behold he has fallenand he announced his departure in the following words: "Dear James: I hasten to communicate some news to you, before any one else does - You tell me that Coyden E. Fuller was married on New Years Day. I beat him three days. On the 27th Dec. 1854 9 o'clock A. M. Wednesday Morning, Nanny and I were made one by the authority of the state of Ohio. - Now how do you look James:" Before I read that last sentence, I found his letter on the floor, and my foot on the letter - But I have now coolly determined not to be astonished at any matrimonial news I may hear hereafter - A man that has endured the burning sands of the great desert, the frozen [service?] of the Sierra Nevada and all the perils of a California voyage by land and sea, and has since struggled so manfully for an Education, if he shall now allow Matrimony to turn him from his long cherished undertaking, I shall say farewell to astonishment for ever - But I still have hopes that he will [?t][*JAG TO LR 1855 FE 27*] 5 give up his College Course, and my main ground of hope rests in Nancy herself. She, I think, can influence him, and I am strongly in hopes that she will urge him to go on in his course - I think it will be the great mistake of his life if he gives it up - Wouldn't you like to have me give up my course and go to teaching, or some such employment? I had a letter not long ago from Henry and Susan, and I have answered it. They seem to be enjoying themselves finely. I think they are admirably suited to each other - and well calculated to live happily together - I have just received a letter from my Dear Little Mother, and one from my brothe Thomas in Michigan. I wish you could become acquainted with mother - She is so good - She can hardly reconcile herself to the thought of having her children so scattered as they are now - [*27*]When I returned to College, I had a large amount of labor accumulated on my hands, and I have been busy night and day in getting it brought up. The work of this term is Astronomy, Geology, Latin, Evidences of Christianity and three lectures per week and Scientific Experimentation - I am doing as well in my classes as I could reasonably expect - Dearest, You have not told me what you are doing, for a long time - You will next time won't you? I do not hear any thing from the Eclectic and its prospects - Every one seems to think that I am thoroughly posted on all such things, and almost every letter I get from Ohio, has this provoking sentence in it "I could tell you many things about Hiram but you have doubtless been informed -" May I not hear from you soon I am now looking every day for a letter - I almost want you to remember me to your Father and Mother - but I don't hardly dare to say so. May our Heavenly Father bless you and ground you from all harm - - With the warmest love, I am Your own James.[*Williamstown Mass.*] Hiram, Feb. 23rd, 1855. Dearest James: After a silence of six long weeks it is again my happy privilege to address you once more. Yours of the 8th inst. I received last Sunday morning, and be assured I gave it a most joyous welcome for it was the first that came to my waiting hand for almost six weeks. Don't think me very wicked dearest, but I must confess I began to feel a spirit of indignation rising a little, and came very near thinking some severe threats. But when your dear letter came you were forgiven a thousand times, and I should have answered immediately if possible, but this week has been the last of this session, and beside my usual duties I have had the responsible duties of an Editress placed upon me which has taken all my leisure till yesterday, which closed the term. The closing exercises varied a little from the usual order. About 3 or 4 weeks since the Gentlemen came out with quite a display - I enclose a programme of their services - and, as the Ladies have given no public society this session, the teachers decided that the Ladies alone should offer at the close, therefore a representative was chosen from each of the three [*87*]Ladie's Societies for an auction, and two one from the "Olive Branch" and one from the "Attic" to edit a paper. The Orators are Lucy Green from the "Adelphian Society" Lois Sheldon from "Attic" and our Ellen (Atwood) from the "Olive Branch". Ellen gave the valedictory. She leaves to return no more a student. She will be married this spring I suppose - without doubt I think, at least her father told mine so yesterday. One by one they go, and less and less [become] grow the attractions which bind my heart to Hiram. The winter has passed very pleasantly, and certainly most profitably to myself if not to others, I have kept very well, not a bit of a cough, and only a slight cold once or twice. My lungs are growing much larger and stronger, and can face a fierce "north easter" as boldly as most girls of my size. The winter is called rather hard; for almost five weeks we have had the best of sleighing, and for four weeks the thermometer stood constantly below [th] freezing point, and the frozen earth is still wrapt in its winding sheet. But, thought the moon's smiling face unveiled with clouds, and the snowy earth, would little remind me of one year ago this night, still memory is long with those happy hours. I think of the first kiss given - have you forgotten the icy coldness with which it was received? You had not yet reached the heart. Then through all the scenes of that day memory follows on [until] and again I am in your arms, clasped to your heart, [and] again that wild strange delight of love first spoken [trembles] thrills my heart trembling chords then follows that holy [??] which the low music of your voice brought as long you talked to me - resting on your bosoms, My own James did not Heaven grant that holy hour? Were not angels hovering near to record its bright revealings? And did not our guardian spirits meet in the fond embrace of Heaven's holy love, and bonding o'er us cast [about] around our hearts the silken cord which on earth shall nearer and nearer drag us, and in Heaven bind in a union perfect and entire? In my last I think I mentioned a meeting about to commence here. It did not commence however until the friday evening after you and Bro. Streator began a meeting at Poestenkill. It continued over two weeks with deep interest. Bro. Hayden and Bro. Shimmell did all the preaching except the discourses preached by Bro William Hayden. There were 44 conversions, and yet there was [the least] less excitement than in any meeting I ever before attended. Many were students, several however were children of brethren here in town. Among them were Uncle Charles Raymonds youngest daughter, and "Charley". Also both the daughters of Bro. [Petrch Allyon??]. Dear Children. we were glad to see them come, and I could not but feel that if their parents from their spirit homewere not permitted to witness the scene, surely messengers from Heaven's court must have been commissioned to bear to them the gladness. It gladdened and encouraged me to see so many turning from the falsity of earth's bestowments to place their hopes on treasures more enduring; still it is not my happiness yet to see my own dear brothers turn from the darkness of sins to the light of truth eternal. But I will never give them up while life lasts. Still I will plead before a throne of grace for their salvation, and may Heaven help me to exert influence over them only for good. Dear James ever stand up boldly, nobly in th defense of truth. I know you will. I know you will devote those Heaven-born powers so richly bestowed upon you all to the service of that God who gave them, at all times and wherever you may be. I am glad you stand at Poestenkill and preached to them, and I would rather you should have neglected me two or three weeks longer rather than neglected to say one word to them which they ought to hear, if by writing you would have so done. I have been visiting this afternoon [at] with Dr. Goodrich and Sadye. They seem as happy as ever. The doctor will enjoy life if anyone does I can assure you. His "Sue" is perfection of course - pity every wife (every good wife I mean) could not coax her husband into such a pleasing hallucination. I suppose you have heard of Corydon's marriage "I'm pleased but yet I'm sad" - pleased for Corydon that his high hopes are indeed realized, and if May knows him fully I am entirely pleased, but I cannot but fear that she does not, and that there are revelations of his character yet to be made to her that may embitter her whole life. Tomorrow evening I hope to receive your promised letter, and trust you will answer this as early as convenient. Some half dozen cousins or thereabouts send their respects to you. I saw Wallace Beard last Saturday and he requested me to say to you if I wrote within a week that you should direct your letters to him to Burton, as he has give up coming or rather staying here. As ever yours With the truest your Lucretia.[*Williamston Mass*] Hiram. March 3d /'55. Dearest James:- Saturday night again! I love to write to you Saturday night. When the work of the week is done and there is a little hour left for quiet and thought, it is very sweet to be borne away upon imagination's wing to the bright realms of fancy, and linger awhile 'mid visions of beauty and love; or turning back into the shadowy past gather its dew-laden flowers: but it is sweeter for to find in the present a counterpart to fancy's brightest vision or memory's sweetest flower, in the fond communion I am sometimes permitted to hold with you. From Brother's hand I received your last yesterday morning. I am glad you are at College again, not that I would wish you away from other places where there is a field open for doing good; but I indulge a hope that for a little while at least our correspondence may not be so interrupted, I am glad to learn also that the health of your throat is becoming so much improved, I think you may indeed feel quite encouraged if you can preach fifteen discourses in two weeks, and not be affected by it. Bro. [M??ell] commenced a meeting at Mentor [*85*]a week ago but became so hoarse in two or three days that he was obliged to come home, I fear he will never be entirely free from a throat affection, you would learn somewhat concerning tho prosperity [and] of Hiram (Eclectic) and its prospects. I scarcely know what to tell you. It is certainly [is] not advancing very rapidly at present and I rather fear it is falling a little into the background we have met the class of students here that did it honor one and two years ago by any means, and the number is rather diminishing that however may be owing to the "hard times". Our new teacher Miss. Merills - is a fine teacher and universally liked, but Mr. Crane is as universally disliked, and to tell the plain truth he is a disgrace to the school in more ways than one, consequently a disadvantage. I have heard it hinted that he is not to be employed much in school next term, how it is though I cannot say. It seems to be the determination now of all the friends of the Institution to [not] raise it to a College as soon as possible, and procure permanent teachers - good ones of course. I am sorry your "Hiram correspondent" does not keep you better posted on the affairs here. As for myself and what I am doing - I'm writing a letter to you just now, and that is about the only definite thing I can say of myself at present. I do not know whether they will want me in the Institution to teach next session or not, If not I may possibly study all the term, but I think not. I have about concluded to teach somewhere else if I can get a school. I am reading now Mrs. H.B. Stowe's "Sunny Memories of Foreign Lands". Almeda may have told you of them as she has been reading them this winter. They are very interesting, and quite as instructive as books of travel generally. True we get only the bright-side of the picture, but "why not" she asks, "They are the impressions as they [were?] of a most agreeable visit", and she thinks after all "There are many worse sins than a disposition to think and speak well of one's neighbors". It is really quite amusing to read with what almost idolatrous enthusiasm she was every where received. I doubt whether "[Kaserth?]" or the "Swedish Nightingale" produced a much greater excitement among Americans. And I think those of the Old Contries who have so much ridiculed young America's enthusiasms at sight of a foreigner might as well spare a dish of their raillery for home-consumption. I have also commenced reading "Butler's Analogy". I felt a little "out of patience" when I first began, it required such close attention to understand it - so different from anything I had been accustomed to read. But I am getting quite interested in his concise matter of fact course of reasoning. There seems not to be a superfluous sentence or even word in it, so directly opposite to most that is written now, whose chief excellence, generally, is beauty of style. I would not underratethe flowers though - I am as fond of them as any one; still I think this Analogy cannot be too highly prized for the ventel discipline which it affords. I do not wonder the Bishop never married. There are not romance enough in his nature to love a woman. - Your remarks about Henry and Susan reminded me of what Phebe said about them. She spoke of it as quite an anomaly in married life that their love should grow only the brighter, and more poetic, and I confess it is too true, but surely it should not be. If love is to lose all its poetry and beauty at marriage then farewell to matrimony forever. Don't you say so? - I think I should have laughed to have seen you with your foot on Philip's letter - your fists clenched, and grinding your teeth I suppose - Dear me! didn't you look a model husband. Well, well I hope you will stand to your past, though you stand alone. Wouldn't I like to have you give up your course and go to teaching or perhaps - clerking with Coydon ? Why did you not ask me if I wouldn't like to give you up? - I would like to be acquainted with your dear Mother. Often I think of her, and always as sad and lonely, and wish that I might go to her and with a kind word and cheerful smile [make] relieve a little her loneliness. But how would I be received? Merely as a friend, or might I hope to win her love as one nearer and dearer? - I do not know but I had better have a marriage department in my letters I have so many to announce. This time it is the marriage of Mary Streeter's father. He married a widow Lady - Mrs. Grendley - of Newton Falls. I have not seen Mary since but I understand she is quite reconciled to it. You very modest request to be remembered to my dear Father and Mother was noticed, and that kindest regards are returned. I believe I have nothing more this time. Please write as soon as you receive this; now won't you dearest. May the choice blessings of Heaven rest upon you, and your life be guarded and kept by our Hevenly Father. With warmest love I remain Your: Lucretia. P.S. My regards to Charles and say to him that I am sorry he has no "Hiram correspondent," as he laments it so bitterly in a letter to Norman, Also that I hope he remembers my charge to him when we parted viz, that he should take good care of himself and all with him. L.OHIO U.S.POSTAGE THREE CENTS Mr. James A. Garfield. Williamstown, Mass. [*86*][*Hiram Ohio*] No 12 South College. Wms Tuesday March 6th 1855 Lucretia Dearest:- Your dear letter of the 24th ultims was duly received & through I had written to you but a few days before. I will write again. I was much rejoiced to hear from you once more after so long a delay. I was fearing that you were sick or that some one of the ten thousand evils of which the dreaming spirit conceived had befallen you, but the arrival of your long looked for letter dissipated all those phantoms & made my sleep sweet again. (You will pardon this "grey goose quill" for its unseemly marks for this is the second letter I have written with a quill pen for many years) [*274*]O Dearest, you do not know the thrilling joys which vibrated through the thousand strings of my being as I read your reminiscences of one year ago. It waked to life all those scenes as vividly as if the occured but yesterday- and I lived over again that short hour of delicious joy when you told me for the first time that I was loved- How long my heart and lips had trembled on that question before it was asked! and how full and overflowing was my heart's joy when your own dear heart echoed the affections of my own- The recollection of that hour and many that followed it cheer many a desolate hour where Life seems so hollow - so cold and drear- Let the swift months roll - for they bring me nearer to you. If God spares us both I shall hope to enjoy a few days of happiness in your society in the end of the Summer of '55. But I will not hope too much - I am rejoiced to hear of the good success of the Gospel in Hiram- and would that I might hear of your dear brothers turning to the Lord. I cannot but believe that God will yet hear the prayer of their parents and sister and lead them to repentance - They are having a great "Revival" in College now. and though I cannot subscribe to all the ways and means yet I believe there is much good being done. and I can truly say I have never been amoung more spiritually minded Christians than those I find in Williams College. I am heartily cooperating with them in arousing the unconcerned to the interests of the Christian Religion but I let them have their way in reference to doctrine. I do not think I should be doing right to interpose a discordant element at such a time as this. though I can hardly resist my desire to tell them what the Gospel is. The Eclectic Gentlemen I should judge from the programme you sent are making rapid strides in Forensic, Dramatic and Oratorical Exercised - Who is that Russell? He has come there lately I judge - I suppose you are now enjoying the quiet vacation days Shall you teach next term, or study? Please give me the Programme of your Spring's work: How have you progressed in music? I should be glad to hear a sweet tune tonight - I received a letter from Corydon and his Mary a short time since, They see to be enjoying life superlatively well - She fears that Death will soon deprive her of he husband I think Corydon will not live long - He is very frail- I wish you would tell me what you really think of the condition of the Eclectic - Is it on the rising or receeding wave? Has Almeda gone to Oberlin? I have not heard one word from her for nearly two months - Well, I did not notice how many queries was collecting our one page- But I must close- Give my love love to any that you please to who inquire for me - especially the Dr. and Lady - & let me hear soon I am - With much love, I am your James[*JAG, Williamstown Mar*] "Home - sweet Home" March, 17th,/'55. Nobilissime "Lucreti:" - I have just returned from a fine visit with our good friends Norman and Calista. What would life be worth without a few such dear true friends! The world is full of those we call friends and we love them too; and are glad when we meet them; but how low the heart would be among them all if to no one it might reveal its hidden depths; and how the spirit would pine and die if no kindred spirit it could find to echo back its trembling tones. When I last wrote I think I was exulting a little in having escaped a cough so far this season, but a slight cold - then a sore throat has at last found its usual terminus, and I am coughing again - and very bad however, and hope I shall not. I am not going to die with the "blues" anyhow come what will, Symonds Biden has been at home nearly all winter sick, and they say that he think he is going into the Consumption, and I am really afraid he will if he thinks so, he is so gloomy and desponding. I do not believe there is in any necessity of it though, and just as soon as it gets good walking I believe I shall go over and see him and give him a real lecture and see if I can not cheer him up, and make him think that there is no use of dying with the Consumption - especially such a greatrugged fella as he might and ought to be. I wish you and Charles would both write to him. Send him something over which he can have a good hearty laugh. Don't write a word about the fine times in College only give him the dark side of the picture, and make him think the greatest men are those who never saw the inside of college walls. I wish the fella would get married, I don't believe he would have the horrors so if he would. Perhaps you think he [would] might have something worse, well it would be a change anyhow; but I don't believe he can find a wife much worse than the horrors, and if he should chance to get one right good and pretty he might make a man yet, and live to "good old age". I can write nothing more about the Eclectic at present than I have written or myself either. Every thing here hangs in the gloom of uncertainty The simplicity - the light hearted joyousness of the Eclectic's childhood has passed, and she is now in the unsettled uncertain stages of youth when to prophesy what her maturity may develope is impossible. Mr. Danshee has had a call from the "West" - not a very loud one; still he is thinking about it a little I guess in case our school here pose a failure, and Celiste has submitted a proposition - very gravely to be sure - for my consideration; as you were included I send it to you. It was that I should go with them, either without Mr. Garfield and teach with Mr. Danshee, or take him along to teach and go my self into a boarding house with her. Probably I shall accept the proposition. as either condition would accord so well with my feelings. - I cannot tell you very much about Almeda, I suppose however that she is at Oberlin again. She was here about six weeks ago and I have not heard from her since - hope I shall soon however. I suppose she graduates this summer, and I intend to be a witness of the deed, and as their commencement comes during your vacation shall expect your company. Thank you dearest for that kind promise you have given of a visit then. Quickly let the months roll which bring me again to your arms. I believe our Heavenly Parent will grant that precious hour, and I will hope for it. My progress in Music this winter was not as great as I was hoping Miss. Smith was called away on account of her Father's illness several weeks before the term closed which deprived us of several lessons. I get almost out of patience with it sometimes, and wish I had never commenced; for the more I learn the more dissatisfied I become with my performance. There is no pleasure in knowing just enough about anything to be aware that all your dear [self] attempts at it is faulty, and I begin to entertain some serious doubts whether I ever can get any thing right in music. The Mr. Russell you inquire for is a dreamy sort of a fellow who inhibits "Tiffany Hall", occasionally seen in his classes or hurrying through the streets in a state of seeming unconsciousnessand sometimes gets the "blues" and lies in bed till noon. That is the most I can say of him, only that he writes very well. His collloquy was got up in pretty good style - very theatrical however, and altogether different from anything ever allowed here before. My thanks to Charles for his kind letter and tell him that he shall hear from me soon. Pardon me dear James for writing such a short miserable letter for my head is aching and feels so dull that I scarcely know what or how I write. I hope to feel better before I write again. Do write me a good long letter as soon as you receive this remembering that I am with the truest affection Yours alone: Lucretia. Matrimonial - J. Lusk and Miss. Cornelia Stillman.Paid 3 Mr. James A. Garfield. Williamstown Mass. 82[*Hiram Ohio*] Williams College, March 24th, 1855. Dearest Lucretia :-- Dressed in my long calico study-gown, and with easy slippers on I was sitting cozily in my arm chair beside the desk, reading the sententious and philosophical Chronicles of Tacitus when rap - rap - rap at the door of my sanctium elicited from me a sullen "Come in", supposing I was to be victimized by one of those indolent creatures called "College bores" who rather lounge and chat than cultivate an acquaintance Tacitus or Terence. I began to put on one of my most unconversable and taciturn airs and was getting intensely busy, when a fine little Junior from New York bowed himself in, and dropping a letter on the desk immediately went out again. Laying aside my airs I opened and read your welcome [*28*] I inclose the Programme of a public debate lately held here - J -letter of the 19th inst. I received your former letter the day after I wrote my last to you, which answered most of the many queries I had burdened mine with. I am very sorry to hear of your ill health but I earnestly hope you may soon be better. You will not keep from me the exact state of your health will you? These northern winters are very bad for the lungs I fear. I have had several severe colds but long beard(!) has greatly protected my throat, and I think I have not suffered near as much injury from them as I did last winter. You will be very careful of exposure in these fierce March storms won't you? - I am sorry to hear such news from Bro. Symonds for I know how much he suffers when he is gloomy and discouraged. He wrote to me nearly three months ago, and when I returned from New York I did not know where to direct my letter, but I blame my self for I might have written and found out. I will try to write to him as soon as I can find time. He has a very sensitive nature and generally looks on the dark side of life. I hope you will visit and cheer him if you can --- I supposed he would be married before this time for I think he had a girl in Randolph - Then Norman has really had a genuine call from the West. Well, I hope you and he will have a fine time when you get your Academy started!! - I also had a call from the west a short time hence to take charge of a mission School at $800 per annum. But old Williams' call is the loudest and most distinct. I am anxious to hear from you now to know how the spring term opens at Hiram and what their prospects will be - It is too bad and it seems to me unnecessary, to have such work with teachers there -- I do desire that the Eclectic shall do something worthy of the Brethren and the West. You speak to me of my beloved Mother. I wish she could become more acquainted with you. It would bea source of great happiness to her, for she already loves you, though she has seen you so little. Her health is quite poor this winter and I fear a life of anxiety and toil has undermined her constitution. But I hope to see her five months from today. I hope you will write to Charles as soon as convenient. He will be very glad to receive a letter from you. He often speaks of you and sends his kind regards. I hope you will keep up the "Matrimonial Department" of your letters though you cannot expect me, surrounded as I am by 230 Bachelors, to do much in the way of return. Where is Philip and Nancy? I do not hear from any body after they are married. Is it such an oblivion as that? It seems very much like an Obituary Notice in its effects to read of a new case of Matrimony. I intended to say something about miscellaneous reading but my sheet is full and I must close-- Dearest, do let me hear from you soon, and May Heaven preserve your life and health. With the warmest love, I am your James[*Williamstown Mass*] Hiram April 1st 1855. My Dear James:- They call this "fools day"; but I will try and not fool you any worse than I always have, which I hope is not very badly, as I am sure you must know something what I am by this time. Owing the bad roads, yesterday's mail did not reach here till this morning, [and] consequently your letter was not recived until then, and so my time is so fully occupied through the week that I shall be unable to answer before Friday evening next unless I write to night - I have concluded so to do, trusting it will not be very wicked- I am engaged in school again - reading Horace, and studying French, also teaching two classes the same I taught last session, and to day Bro. Hayden spoke to me about taking a class commencing French. The class in Horace read it, all last winter, and are now reading about 100 lines per lesson which for me is rather a long pull. We will be through with it in a few weeks and there we read "Cicero" the remainder of [*22*]the term. I am feeling much better than I did two weeks ago though not entirely well yet, and presume I shall not be until the weather becomes more settled as I must of necessity expose myself a good deal. Your whisker logic is doubtless very good; but was it not a great blunder in dame Nature to furnish man with such a necessary protection for his lungs and leave poor frail woman's throat unprotected? ---- Bro. Crane and lady have left us - gone to take charge of Bro. Scott's school Covington Ken. It was a good thing for them that they went when they did, for probably he would have been dismissed if he had staid here as a good number were quite determined he should be, and Bro. Munwell and Bro. Dunshee among them. Who recommended him to Bro. Scott I do not know. -- Mr. Rhodes has three classes and as the number of students is less than usual they get along without engaging any other new teachers. Your old room is occupied entirely by Mr. Rhodes and myself this session. Can I refuse Memory when she occasionally reminds me of one year ago? The school is starting very pleasantly and we are all hoping to have a fine session. -- I saw Symond's mother at church to day and inquired after his health. She told me that he was better, still she seemed to feel a good deal of anxiety about him yet. "Uncle Symonds" gave the ladies a terrible dressing a week ago to day, so they say I did not hear it. I judge he thinks all we are made for is to work, and as for the accomplishments it [is] a sin even to think of them. What an idea of life! -- Bake bread - wash dishes - scrub - iron and mend week in week out, month after month - year after year without a thought of any thing else. But these things must [be] all be attended to, and each one should bear her part, but to make [them] their thorough performance the end and aim of life, and the only object to receive any attention is most intolerable; and yet she must be an angel in goodness -- mild as a summer morning and smiling as a moon beam. Strange inconsistency! I do think Bro. Rider - good as he is - is the most unreasonable man sometimes I ever knew. But I suppose we ought to bear with him patiently as he is getting to be an old man. Why has the God of nature thrown all about us with such lavish hand beauty and grace if we are not to love it and cultivate it in our hearts and lives? Mrs Stowesays "Did not He who made the appetite for food make also that for beauty? And while the former will perish with the body is not the latter immortal? and is it not as much our duty to feed our higher nature with [with] food sufficient for it, as our bodies? And as much or even more a sin to let it famish and die, than to leave our animal bodies to perish for lack of proper nourishment? I have finished reading "Sunny Memories" and am well pleased with them. Her travels in Germany interested me not a little, as she visited many places - the theaters of those actions which make up the Romance of Paul Zelernming - "Interlochen" where he met - loved and parted [at] with crushed hopes from his Mary - "Strasbourg" "Heidelberg" and several other places. - I hear nothing from Philip and Nancy and never expect to. Tuesday John and Ellen are married: and what to me seems very strange "O. P. Miller" has gone to perform the ceremony. I do think it such a droll idea. I should not feel as though the knot was half tied. He took "Lucy Baldwin" with him. I do believe the fellow is flattering himself that he can "shine" there; but he may as well "hang his harp on the willow". How my dear may I expect another letter in just two weeks. I don't like to wait after I expect one. With truest love I am faithfully your own: Lucretia.[*Hiram Ohio*] No. 12. South College WmTown April 7th 1855. Lucretia Dearest : - The snow has been piled up on the railroad to the depth of 2'5 feet in many places in central New York and has thus hindered the mails. But your welcome favor of the 1st has at last arrived - How provoking that so cold a thing as a snow drift should separate us. But the April sun is beginning to smile away the snows even from the stern brows of New England's mountains, and I hope ere long they will let me tread their summits again. It has been a very severe winter here and I am longing for bright days again. But the summer here is a lavish of its smiles as the [*29*]winter is of its proverb. And in about six weeks from now I expect you will hear me glorifying over the beauties of the mountain scenery - I am right glad to know that your health is improving, and trust that ere long you may be fully restored - I am much pleased with your ad hominem, or perhaps I should say ad mulieriem argugument against "whiskers." Surely now, doesn't the fact you allude to, prove that nature has exempted woman from the rougher duties of life in the winter storm and especially spared her throat the labor of public speaking??? --- Now please don't say I am favoring uncle Symond's 12th century's notions - It is really a great trial to have him preach as he does sometimes - It needs a large heart to keep one from being distrustful and fault finding as old age comes on. They see their own abilities failing and those of the young around them increasing and finally surpassing them, and it is not very wonderful that their human nature rebels at their destiny - Hence the need of a liberal-minded benevolence and generosity on the part of the aged and of much forbearance on the part of the youthful. I cannot but feel however, that his influence is in many respects detrimental to the interests of the Eclectic. I have not read all of Mrs. Stowe's "Sunny Memories," but I very much like what I have read of it. Anything that loves Germany, I love. If there is any place beyond the sea I would love to visit more than another, it would be Germany. You don't know how much I want to study a year at Gottingen. Do you think of studying German?I hope before I leave College here to have a tolerable knowledge of that sweet tongue, the language of the heart, the repository of such sweet soul stirring thoughts---I have already made some advancement in it and intend to keep it up--- The term continues here three weeks longer---and our examinations in all that we have gone over during the years are commencing---Three weeks respite will be much needed by that time--- I am sincerely glad to learn that Bro. and Sister Claire have found a place in Kentucky or any where save this Eclectic--I never understood the policy of means by which they were first engaged as teachers---(Your "Matrimonial Department" is unusually interesting this time---What do Jno. and Ellen going to do? And O. P. M is trying to play on the "Lute"-- too bad for I suppose its cords are already responsive to one hand already---Is it so? I lately received a letter from Bro. W. N. Clayton who is now settled as a minister at Rupert Vt. where Lottie Reed lives--He has been married a long time--as I suppose I cannot have the pleasure of telling any marriage news even now. Now dearest you must not work over Horace too hard-- nor, tempt your little body to fever With the [?o?u???] love I am forever and ever yours always--- so let me hear soon--[??] James[*Williamstown Mass*] Saturday Evening, Apr. 14th /'55 My Own Dearest James: Sure to the appointed hour your dear letter came, and found me just finishing "Uncle Tom's Cabin." With it unsealed beside me I read to the close of that sad thrilling story, then turned from the dark picture to contemplate the loved revealings of your noble spirit to mine. And as I contrast my happy lot - the sweet pure delight of my life [with] in possessing one so good and true to throw about me the strong affections of his heart and draw my spirit into such a sacred nearness of holy love and trust, without fear that the powers of earth may ever divide, with the heart rending fate of my many sisters - not darker than myself - whose very heart strings are rudely severed, and all the warm outgushing affections of their nature trampled in the dust - the very tears blind my eyes, as in thankfulness my heart is raised to God for the mercies I enjoy; and speedily - speedily may this wrongs of the oppressed be redressed is the prayer my [*79*]spirit offers. - It is growing late and wearied nature bids me yield to her "sweet restorer - balmy sleep". Still I fancied my dreams would be sweeter, and visions fairer would rise before me if but a few lines only were traced for your dear eyes ere I slept. May Heaven guard us while in slumbers we rest, and the morning's light find us recovered for the work of life - the holy privileges of the Lords day. One kiss dearest - Good night. Sunday afternoon. The bright glad sunshine - the still soft breathing of the southern gales telling us that another springtime in its virgin beauty draweth near, together with the holy quiet the day inspires, are all conspiring to soften down my spirit into that heavenly advances which it is not for mortals apt to feel. I seem to be having over again one of those many days my childhood knew when Earth seemed Heaven, so trustingly my unfettered spirit yielded to nature's tranquil voice, and lost itself in her ten thousand harmonies. What would life be without such holy hours - without this day of sacred rest--so quiet and Heaven like that I have often thought that if from a long sleep I should awake on a Sunday morning I should not need to be told that it was the day commemorating the resurrection of Our Lord from dark shades of death; for nature's hush and sweet calmness would sufficiently proclaim it. Today Bro. Munnell has been preaching to us, and our Sunday school has been reorganized under his supervision. He is all awake as ever in the cause of Truth. I received a letter from Almeda since I last wrote you. She is almost killing herself I judge but says I must not tell her friends of it. Perhaps you have heard from her though and know what she is doing. I heard something so funny a while ago about her that I do believe I must tell you - Mind you don't say a word to her about it though. A widower from the west has been spending the winter in Martiner, and some one there picked up a letter in the street written by him to our Almeda making proposals of marriage. Dear little man I wonder if he thought there was any hope of getting her. Would'nt you laugh though to see her Greek and Latin turned into the kitchen and her mathematic called into active exercise over pies and cakes &c. &c. for a family of step children. John and Ellen have gone to Enon Valley and are to engage in teaching I believe. The people there are about building or have already built an Academy for himSo he is superintendent of a school of his own. I cannot answer your query concerning Lucy. I know nothing about her affairs. Mr. Stillen however seemed to speak very confidently of her freedom before he went to the wedding, but I imagine he looks rather crest fallen since he returned, and perchance he has found out his mistake.--- I wish you might spend a year in Germany dear James if you wish it. And perhaps Heaven may yet favor you that you may. I would like to study German and now intend to sometime. You recollect I commenced Greek under your tuition--perhaps I may wait until you have returned from your German tour and take lessons of you. No no, that is not what I am going to do. I shall go to Germany with you. I shall not allow you to get any further away from me. You laugh at my "ad mulieren argument". Well it was just what I expected therefore did not feel very much disconcerted. But mind--you don't hear what I am about now.---I wonder who it is now appearing in the "nom de plume" of "Horatio?"?? Please give my love and thanks to the gentleman who favors me with your papers. and please invite "Lucretius" home with you when you come and ask "Horatian" if he has a Latin translation of his Poems. May I hear again very soon dearest? Knowing that I shall, still fondly I remain yours in truest love, Lucretia P.S. I am quite well again. L. [*What would you say to see me at your Adelphic Union Exhibition?*]HIRAM AM OHIO U.S.POSTAGE THREE CENTS Mr. James A. Garfield Williamstown Mass. [*80*]Willams College, Mass. Saturday Eve., April 21st 1855 My Own Dear Lucretia: - Your dear letter of the 16th, bearing words of warm affection from a heart, than which a purer or nobler never beat in lovely woman's bosom, was received with gratitude and joy. and now that the week's weary toil is ended, and the refreshing coolness of the solemn quiet night is coming on, it is a joy to my spirit to sit down and talk with you, my own dear loved one - This week has been one of more than usual labor for we are passing examinations in the studies of the whole year. In preparing for these I have spent the days & much of the night-time, but yet I have refreshed myself with occasional drafts from Cooper and Dickens - I don't know if I have told you that I am taking a course (see 3rd page) [*30*]4 sweet & joyful tidings and so in contrast with what my early life has been that I fear lest it be all a phantom, a wild bright dream - Tell me your own heart's ramblings, dearest. When far away on such an excursion do you see me some times? How much I want to see you! Let the months roll on. If Heaven spares our lives, I hope to be with you four months from to-day - - The term closes one week from next Tuesday - I shall travel some then, and after the first week spend the rest of the vacation with Bro. Streator whose health is poor and he has written urgently for me to go to him - I hope to get an answer from you before I leave though I presume I may be away before it comes, but I shall write to you often and you may direct my letters as usual - Charles sends his love and says he will write before long - With the warmest and fondest affection, I am dearest your own James. [*Pardon this blunder - in writing on the wrong page.*] 2 of novel-reading. When I was thirteen & onward to eighteen I read a great many novels, but when I embraced Christianity I not only left them off but did not even read newspaper tales. and have scarcly read a volume of fiction since till within the last six months or a year - In examining myself I found my mind was getting too dull and matter of fact in its operations and too much disinclined to read & I therefore determined to take up a course of reading a few volumes of each of the best authors of fiction. This I have commenced, and I think it will be very beneficial. With Cooper I am much pleased. He has saved from oblivion some of the most thrilling and heroic deeds of modern days - enacted on the wild frontiers of civilization as it was one hundred years ago. When I read a chapter of his "Leather Stocking Tales" I feel as if I had been rambling in the green old woods and musing on the wild forest stretching far awayin slumberous silence disturbed only by the solemn sighing of the breeze or the soothing murmur of the rolling river. At such an hour, darling one, I fancy I am by your side, your hand in mine, and that we are gazing into the lake or gliding over its surface in the light canoe. Oh I feel that man touches the works of God but to mar them Why could we not always live in Saturns' own gorgeous Temple in which was worship sweet before "Man learned to hew the shaft Or lay the architecture, or frame the lofty vault or To gather and roll back the sound of anthems" After bathing the spirit in such thoughts as these it seems as if the painted pomp of the city were solemn mockery - and distortion of Nature's fair face - Dearest, how I would love to sit by your side and read them with you! May I not ere long - ! How looks the future to you, love - ? I dare not let my spirit venture with full-spread wing into the future lest it may hope too much When it dose go far it brings back suchWilliamstown Mass Sunday Afternoon Apr 25th '55 Dearest James: -- Is it wicked for me to write to you Sunday? I don't believe it is; for it was late when I received your precious letter last evening and I too weary to answer then, and unless I write now I cannot before next Saturday which delay would be a violation of a positive command "Do unto others - another - as you would that they - he - should do unto you". And first I must notice your strange query. Did you but know half my spirit has never dared reveal even to you, you would not ask if sometimes I am with you, but rather if ever I am absent in spirit. - I know no future where you are not, and visions only bright before me rise, for in them all I meet your loving eyes. Heaven forgive me if too well I love. But can I love too well? "God is love", and the more like him we become will not the hearts affections stronger, deeper, holier grow? But my dear James here it is perhaps we may err that we confine our love to much to this life, and [stay] limit our hopes too much to the uncertainties of this fleeting existence. I will not believe that those who have been truly "one" in this life - beyond the [*78*]tomb shall become separate existences and love each other only as they love all others. [Surely] And if an intimacy and afection so pure and holy may exist in this shadow of a life what may be the perfection of that union when the shadow is changed to substance - when from the changing dreams we shall waken to the bright reality of a glorious Eternity. Then upon "full-spread wing" our spirits may venture into this [B?t??e], and dare to hope the highest joy we may conceive, for naught can exceed what that reality will prove, and when the promises of this life - which my spirit, no less than yours, loves - shall find, we will [?ear] above them, and in Heaven realize what Earth would not bestow. The peerless moon is looking in upon me through the open window mingling her [mellow light] soft rays with the deepening twilight, and as I look into her pale beautiful face she tells me that when thrice more she has waxed and waned she will bring you to my side, and then again I may look into those eyes, and greet the fond smiles of that face whose semblance is now before [is] so mute and grave. I can in no way coax from it a single smile or one fond word. - I wonder if they will not make daguerrotypes talk yet. - How I wish you were with me now, that instead of this dull prosy writing I might talk and read with you. I am reading a book now which I think we might read together. I am sure you should like it. It is a poem "A Life Drama" by Alexander Smith, a young English poet. Through his hero he speaks this of himself. "I have a heart to dare And spirit-thews to work my daring out; I'll cleave the world as a swimmer cleaves the sea, Breaking the sleek green billows into froth, With tilting full-blown chest, and scattering With scornful breath the kissing, flattering foam That leaps and dallies with his dipping lip[s]. I come from far, I'll rest myself , O World! awhile on thee, And half in earnest, half in jest, I'll cut My name upon thee - pass the arch of Death, Then on a stair of stars go up to God." It abounds in beautiful similes and bold metaphors. I am beginning to find out that I have a taste for Poetry and I am thinking it should be a wise course for me to cultivate it somewhat, and have a mind to commence a course of reading in Poetry. - Harvey Barbara and Sarah Soule were here a week ago last Monday and we had a fine visit with them. Sarah was makingher farewell visit before going west to stay. Harvey is engaged to preach at home - Ashtabula Con for the coming year - perhaps I have told you before -. Mr. Harnet and Judy also made a short call last week. They appeared very happy - "of course" I suppose Almeda would say. But the best news of all is that friend Symonds is finally - married. I shall not need to go and see him now, and I presume he will need but little comforting. - We have a fine session this spring. All is passing very harmoniously and pleasantly - not a very full session however - only about 150 students. Does Charles think of coming back to stay [here] next fall? Several have told met that they heard he was coming, but I told them that I thought it a mistake. Perhaps people got the impression from the fact that Mr. Hillier leaves at the close of this term. Now dearest please do not let your whole vacation pass without a letter - I shall expect several, and [I know I] shall I receive them? I will promise to answer all I receive if I have to sit up all night for it. I shall think of you very often and pray for you - as I ever do - that your labors may be crowned with a blessing both to yourself and many others. Faithfully and with much love your own Lucretia[*Hiram*] Millville, Rensselaer Co., N. Y. Saturday May 12, 1855 Lucretia Dearest, Doubtless your last letter is lying in the office at Williamstown by this time, but it had not arrived when I left - The examinations closed last Monday week and I then went to Southern Massachusetts to visit my Garfield friends, and recruit a little. I spent the week in visiting and, on Saturday, started north as far as Pittsfield, Mass. where I remained over Lord's Day. I attended the noted Dr. Todd's church and in the afternoon listened to Dr. Heman Humphrey who wrote some letters concerning Bro Campbell a few years ago and they were copied into the Harbinger. Though he has been President of Amherst College and for many years held a high place in the Literary and Theological World yet he does not impress me very much with his powers. Still he is evidently a strong man - [*31*]On Monday last I went to Troy via Albany and the next day reached Poestenkill. Bro Streator's health has been very poor for the last three months so much so that his life has been almost despaired of but he is better now. I wrote to him a few weeks ago advising him to travel and offered to accompany him during the vacation wherever he might wish to go. He told me to come on[e], and now that I have come I find he has a series of Meetings appointed in this place which he intends that I shall carry on. It is strange travel, but since I am caught I will try to do as well as I can. I had the first last night and they are to continue over next week if the way seems favorably opened. I feel too much wearied to do it but I'll try. Tomorrow I have three appointments - two here and one in Poestenkill - Bro. Streater starts for Ohio next Monday two weeks--I presume you will see him. He is one of the noblest spirits I ever met, so affectionate, so sympathetic, so unselfish - I hope you will visit with him if he comes to Hiram He knows you already I must tell you a little tale - and to begin with, I will make a confession which some of the points in said tale requires. but I know you will forgive me for I am sure it was a very innocent sin. Some way or other (no difference how,) your sweet little poem, addressed to "The Stranger" found its way into the "Berkshire Courier" and also said "Courier" fell into the hand of the unknown "Hattie of Norfolk." who by the way is said to be a cozy old maid of thirty - and a poetess of some renown About the close of the last winter term I sent a Cataloge to Hattie A. Pease, Norfolk not knowing precisely where she lived, or whether she would even get it - When I returned last term, I found a Yale College Catalogue with a pencil mark alongside the name of "Ebenezer H. Pease Norfolk Ct." and on the cover was written the word "Hattie". Upon this I sat down & wrote her a letter, and in boasting of the west and the joys that clustered around it I could not help seffusing] in the language of the Poettess to the "one dark-eyed." I do from this & the published Poem she gave me - [??n???able] wise and in her response received a few days ago is the following ---And as at length the secret's out Seem it not strange I pray If I this dark-eyed one about Still more to know essay And bid the Strangers cause each doubt My mind to flee away-- Say, doth adorn her bosom fall Full many a jetty curl? Doth o'er her form (and is it small?) In mazy waltzes whirl? And is she short or very tall The darkeyed Buckeye Girl! And is she fairest of the fair In fashion's gayest throng? And can she, like the nightingale Pour forth her soul in song? And could she patient list a tale Of sorrow or of wrong? And is she gentle, good and kind Trusting and true and tried? If so, you've found what few can find In all the world so wide. And when at length with wearied mind You've clomb the steep hill-side Of Learning, and have left behind New England, to abide Where Erie's waves dance to the wind I'll think you've made a guide Of one whom fate for you designed One happy, one "Dark-Eyed" -- Now I know dearest you will not scold me for publishing your sweet little poem will you? But dear me, do you think I shall ever get poetical enough to [to to] do justice to a response? Pray tell me how to do it - Especially that part concerning "mazy waltzes" - I expect[ed] to return about the 24th inst to College - Bro Charles has gone again to visit his cousins in Schoharie Co. N.Y. Pardon my coarse stationery for it is the best I can find in this one-horse town - If your letter can reach me before the 20th Direct to Poestenkill, if not to Williamstown - I hoped to get your last before I left but there was not time - The months are flying - Fourteen weeks more, & I hope to see you. - But I am on the last corner of this big sheet - With the warmest love I am forever Your James.[*Williamstown Mass*] Hiram May 19th 1855. Dearest James: - It has been three long weeks since I have heard one single word from you, and brother Joe has again just returned from the Office without a letter. I must confess I feel just a little disappointed, and heartily wish you would not be blessed with any more vacations while you stay at Williams. But stop I don't mean so. I should be very sorry to have you miss your next vacation. This morning I awoke from a dream which had spanned the next three months, and brought you again almost to my side. A moment more and I should have been held in your fond embrace. My eyes opened, and only the warbling of one of days bright herald greeted my ears. How provoking! But with any awaking came many pleasant thoughts, memories which came crowding home, some bright - some dark - but all tending to augment my happiness now. The dreaming of this morning brought about another anniversary of a day memorable in my lifes history. And on which all my future has turned. [*76*]Six years ago this day in company with one whose name I care not to mention I visited the "Little Mountain." [I'll not scold you one bit more. Joe did not bring me your letter and to be sure I thought there was none for me but brother John - bless the good boy - has just placed it in my hand] but to go on with my story. As I watched the dawning of the day, all the scenes of that day rose before me not clad in that unwanted brightness which then seemed to envelope them but in their true light. And as I watched the cause of that affection whose fountain was then revealed I could not but contrast it with the strong resistless current in which it has been lost. and which now bears me onward so clearly and yet so surely. On a mountain it took its rise, and it was but a mountain rivulet, was flashing and sparkling in the sunlight of a smile was dashing headlong against a rock and wasting itself in tears. But how deep and tranquil flows the current of my life now. A pure true and holy love which [vestes?] and fills my whole soul and gives life to my whole being. Heaven help me that I may never prove unworthy a treasure so rich a blessing so divine. --- As to your dear letter I turn. The meeting which you have been holding with the brethren at Millville I trust has been crowned with success - that you have all been strengthened, and sinners converted. So I have heard Bro. Hayden say, "it is the real work of life to prepare for Heaven." All things else should be but subsidiaries to that, and I feel that here it is we oftenest see that we rather make it subsidiary to all else. Lordsday - evening. I have just returned from one of our social meetings, and as I sit me down to complete this unfinished letter my thoughts far away wander to another scene where I fancy you with others, perchance are assembled to mingle your voices in prayer and praise to the one Brother of us all. Would that I were with you! And indeed in spirit I may be with you. Upon that Brothers bosom our spirits can embrace, though long distance intervene. And has it strengthens the bond of affection to know that such is our privilege. How much nearer and dearer you seems to me as I indulge this sweet reflection, that to the same eye we are alike visible. and James I do not believe there is any true love [where] in hearts who know not the Christian hope and faith. That love which is fit for time - which has no hope beyond the few fleeting years of this transient existence cannot be like that affectionwhich may express its hope[s] by the beautiful stanza we sang this evening "Beyond this vale of tears There is a life above Unmeasured by the flight of years and all that life is love". You speak of Bro. Streator. I saw him frequently when a child: but for several years have known but little about him. I hope he will visit Hiram and I shall have an opportunity of visiting with him. It will seem like catching a heath from you to see one who has so lately been with you. - You are in a predicament surely, and I should certainly pity you had you not so thoroughly earned your punishment. As it is however, I shall only laugh at you and leave you to reconcile the straight [ha??] [hail?], and awkwardness of your "dark-eyed Buckeye girl" to friend Hattie's ideal of a perfect woman as best you can. I imagine you will need a little "poetry" to accomplish it, but by way of caution let me tell you a little story I read in French the other day. "An Eagle and an Owl had been long engaged in war. At length they agreed upon pease, and the most important article of the treaty was that the Eagle should not destroy the little ones of the owl. But I do not know them, said the Eagle, describe them to me and by the faith of an honest eagle I will never harm them. My little ones, said the Owl are delicate beautiful and well made, with [a] voices sweet and melodious. Very well, responded the Eagle, I shall easily recognize them. Not long after the Eagle spied upon the corner of a [rask?] some ugly repulsive little monsters uttering most lugubrious cries. Those do not belong to my friend he said and immediately devoured them." --- My last letter I also forgot to put in the Office Monday morning and consequently it did not go out until Wednesday but you will finish it at Williams I presume when you return, and soon may I have a response from that and this. Fondly your forever, LucretiaMr. James A. Garfield, Williamstown Mass.[*Hiram Oh*] Williams College Tuesday May 29th 1855. Dearest Lucretia: I arrived here last night at ten o'clock and this morning [f] found your two dear letters of Apr. 29th & May 19th. It had been six week since I had had a word from you. and you do not know how refreshing it was for me to enjoy the breathings of your constant and affectionate heart. Surely this is "peace which is like a river" -- The meetings in Millville & Poestenkill were deeply interesting - Bro. Streator's health was so poor that he did not deliver but three discourses while I was there, but his presence and encouragement did much to enhance the interest of the meeting. I spoke fourteen discourses. and I was speaking the evening that you wrote your last letter to me - Seven were immersed & [*32*]one more added from the Baptists We were all much refreshed in spirit and I think the churches were much strengthened. It is much harder to make a move among the people than in the west. They have so long worn the New England straight-jacket that it takes a long time start them away from their old moorings - About six days ago I had an attack of Bilious Fever. but by careful treatment it was broken and I am nearly well again. It only kept me from the meeting two days. I feel considerably wearied for I had had but little rest during the vacation. but I shall look forward to the end of eleven weeks and hope for a rest. Indeed, It hardly seems as if it had been eleven months since I left the Buckeye State. but so it is. Well, "Did Earth roll - nor heed its idle whirl." I find old Williams in its gala dress and never have I beheld such a majesty of profusions of the green glories of the spring as this valley presents. When I left, the snow was lying on the mountain tops, but now in its stead is the most gorgeous emerald crown: and instead of the rough mountain blasts, the gentle breeze wafts to the valley the most grateful and refreshing odors - But I will not glorify - Some day you must "come & see". I am an ardent admirer of your Alexander Smith and should his life be spared I doubt not that he will one day be England's Poet Laureate - He knows what it is to think to fall to live and his poems are but the embodiment of life as he feels it and knows it - I am glad you have determined to take a course of poetic reading - I am sure it gives the spirit a stronger and super hold on the beautiful the lovely & the divine. I have already found that even the course of fiction I am reading is having a good effect on my mind - I mean to say more on this some time - I think it is worth serious attention.Cousin Ellis has at last published his book of which I have told you. I have not yet read it for it only reached me last night but he has chosen such an odd title especially for a religious work - "The Patient Hat" is its name. 282 pages part prose & part [poetry] verse - But the funniest of all is that it is dedicated to the "Rev A.S. Hayden"!! But perhaps you have already seen a copy. Where is sister Laura Clark -? I think from one of Ellis' letters there is something there yet. Dear me, how unmercifully you abandon me in reference to the the poetry of friend Hattie - Well my task is a pleasant one - not withstanding your ugly fable from the French - Surely Charles has made no arrangement to go to Hiram to teach till he graduates which you know will be one year from next August - However we both expect to teach one term before our College course is done and it may be that he will do that term's teaching in Hiram but I cannot tell - Now I want to hear from you again right soon - With the warmest love I am as ever your own James[*July Williamstown Mass*] Hiram, Friday. June 8th '58. Dearest James: Not until today did I receive your almost impatiently waited for letter, although as I was very coldly told when I inquired for it - it had been in the Office since night before last but they had forgotten to send it down. Well of course it was of no use to make a fuss about it but I could not help thinking - what a shame! that such a dear faithful messenger from you should be kept waiting for audience two whole nights and through a long day; ere tomorrow's light however he shall be equipped for a return to your presence, You speak of the glories of your New England home. In our western home too retire has been most profusely lavish of her beauties, this joyous spring time. The trees are heavy with dense foliage and the forests dark with its deep shade and while ten thousand glorious sights speed out bebore me their richness and beauty, my mind voices of sweetest melody greet my ear ; and I look, and list, and wonder, and adore, If you were beside me, dearest noblest James, it would be Paradise indeed. And what to all adds yet the richest charm, is this, that ere their glory fades your eyes will look upon them. Only ten weeks more - Why James I almost count the hours, and bid them haste. Is it not a glorious thought to be home upon the wing of [*74*]of time, and look beneath and see the days, the weeks, the months roll back, and watch the bright golden future nearer and yet nearer drawing! Who would stop in this mighty course and wish to live! --- Again the Eclectic is preparing for a public exhibition of her dear little self. Bare weeks from yesterday will close another year, and a strange year it has been too. The closing services will be about as usual. The colloquy is taken from scenes in La Fayette's life during his imprisonment at Olmutz. "Queen Esther" appears under the character of Madame La Fayette. Strange are the reverses of fortune. First a queen and then begging a home within a dungeon's gloomy walls. Will "King Ahasuerus" come to rescue his queen from such degradation! -- I will send you a programme when they are obtained. --- Your cousins William and Phebe Boynton have been here the last three weeks attending Dr. Lusk's writing class. I have had two or three right good visits with P -- She came and spent [the] a night with me soon after she came out and this week she has been with me two days. O James how I laughed at some of the droll things she told me about you. I can fancy how you looked with such a gracious face promising your Mother Sunday morning that you would be such a good boy, and almost before she was out of sight racing over the hills and through the woods with "old Charlie's bridle bits" in your mouth. No wonder you ran when calling down such lashings of conscience by your disobedience. ---- I have not seen Ellis' book; but judge it must be a funny specimen of Theology from the title. Laura has been in Michigan teaching since last fall I have received one letter from her, and but one. She wrote to Mrs. [Darmshee?] something about coming back here to school again, but I have no expectation of her coming. Does Charles ever say anything about her? It was a bitter hour that told to him the alienation of her affection, and I can never see him or hear him speak without pity for his sadness. Still I do think it was for the best. Laura is a noble girl and Charles idolized her, but I do not believe they would have been the most happily wedded. In many respects they are too much alike. ---- I am now reading "Headley's Life of Josephine" and I have no language to tell you all I feel as I read that thrilling story. I cannot but look upon Bonaparte with all his greatness as far inferior to his noble Josephine. His treatment of her was so barbarous. He loved her they say so he loved no other being. That may be true; but it was so selfish that I cannot but despise him. Not only by his divorcing her but by a thousand other acts [that there was no] he showed but too plainly that the only true affection in his heart was for self. [and] When her brilliance and fascination could add anything to his lustre then she was his idol, but as soon as he imagined that his connection with her was imposing the least barrier to the [crowing] crowning of his ambitions, then she was cast asideas a toy that had ceased to please its childish possessor. Now what true greatness was there in such a character? I do not progress very rapidly in my course with the Poets. Last evening I read an hour or so in Baxter's Poems; but they do not altogether please me, They are very smooth and gentle, but too tame. His numbers move not with majesty enough, nor glow with that thrilling eloquence which characterizes the Poems of "Smith." I live too much in a sort of dreamy calm, and when I ready Poetry I want something as startling, grand and awful as the mighty cataract's roar. People are still "marrying and giving in marriage". A few days since Miss. Sarah Bailey was married to a brother of William Rowe. They were here since I understand but I did not see them, and they say our little friend [Parinther] is to be married soon and go to the far west. This makes me think of our friend "Amaziah". Mr. Danshee received a letter from him not long since stating that he had resigned his school into Jasper's hands and had gone to preaching, and should not teach any more unless he could get a Professorship in some college, and if he could not succeed preaching he should give up and go to farming -- a wise ? thought - He is trying now I believe to get a situation in the "North Western University" Indiana, and also trying to get one for Mr. Danshee [also]. I suppose he thinks if he can get him away from Hiram the Eclectic will surely sink. ---- Now my dear James may I expect another loved letter from you very soon? I count time by the letters I receive from you and I do not like long measures. Faithfully Yours alone! Lucretia.U.S.POSTAGE THREE CENTS Mr. James A. Garfield. Williamstown, Mass. [*75*]Williams College Mass. Monday. June 18th 1855. Dearest Lucretia: - Your dear letter of the 9th was received five days ago, and I have delayed answering it longer than I ever did one of your letters before. but I have been utterly unable to do so. I awoke this morning about half past four & in fifteen minutes was on a horse riding toward Wmstown, where I arrived at ten o'clock and since that time have been doing the student's duty till the shades of evening have "closed oer me." I have been two days with the brethren at Poestenkill who are almost disconsolate without Bro. Streator. I spoke three discourses these yesterday and one Saturday evening. Good attendance & interest [*33*]Last Saturday and Sunday week, Bro. Charles and I spent at a yearly meeting in Pittstown, N.Y. where we had the pleasure of seeing and hearing Bro. W.W. Clayton who is now preaching in Rupert Vt. We were so delayed by rain that we did not reach home till Tuesday evening and then I was obliged to bring my work up so as to leave for Poestenkill Saturday which consumed all the days and a good share of the nights. And now in completing my apology for this unusual delay shall I boast a little and tell you the labor incumbent on me for today? Well first a recitation in Ollendorf & the German Reader, then a lesson in Optics, a lecture to attend on Chemistry, 20 pages of "Don Carlos" a drama of Schiller's to translate & finally a recitation in Chemistry - Thus ends the day. and your humble servant feels tolerably near ended also. But my health is excellent and a look at this grand & lovely scenery & the sweet thought that eight weeks more will close the year and send me on the straight path to you gives me life and strength. Then you are drawing on toward the close of the Eclectic Year and preparing for another annual display of the gathering glories of her intellectual treasures. How vividly does the mention of it bring back to me the remembrance of the past three years Shall you think of me, Dearest, when you are the highly gifted and learned Madam'selle La Fayette surrounded by admiring courtiers and men of war-like renown? Ahaserus the King would be gad to extend his scepter once more. I hope your gala day may be alike joyful and creditable to the Eclectic. You will of course give me a full account of it all in your next for I shall long to hear it. And you have had a visit with Cousin Phebe - You must have been highly entertained by the accounts of my early pranks. Surely you thought I was a strange child. Well I'll not deny it.The restraints authority, Society and Propriety were never "particularly pleasing to me and I fear they never will be. Dear one, we must exchange histories of our early life when we meet, won't we? I have also within a few months read the life of Josephine, not Headley's however. She was a noble woman with a great heart and a true one. That was truly a terrible act of Napoleon's and no man can excuse it. but there are many things connected with it which go far to palliate though not to justify this act on his part. That was the fearful the terrible mistake of his life - and the agony of his anguish after it goes far to show that his own heart never dictated the movement. But it pains me to dwell upon it. You speak of Charles and Ann [lay] Please lay that away as one of the topics of conversation when I see you. I think there was great wrong somewhere there, & perhaps some retributive justice. Do you know whether cousin Ellis is still in correspondence with her? - Dear one, will you pardon this dull letter. It is late & I am very weary - Hoping to hear from you very soon I am forever your own James[*Williamstown Mass*] Hiram. June 25th. 1855. My Dear James:- Don't expect anything "cool" today; for notwithstanding I have drawn myself into the darkest coolest corner I can find, still can scarcely keep below boiling point, and if I should entirely evaporate don't be surprised or much alarmed. There is not much of me to lose should I disappear in gas. Your last I did not receive until last Wednesday evening - nine days after it was written. Our post-boy grows tardy when he turns from you. [to the] Well, I do not blame him I would move more slowly yet, in fact I would not go at all. Now your first inquiries of course are concerning the commencement exercises. In the first place, there was a much larger number of people present than ever we have had before - in the second place it rained - which you know never before happened on our exhibition days - consequently a scene of confusion and disorder followed the like of which I hope [*71*]never to witness again. When the morning exercises were about half through, a dark cloud was seen rising in the west. Of course the people would not sit still and be rained on, and they were obliged to post pone the remainder until after the shower. It proved to be not very lengthy but the ground and seats were wet, and when they assembled again neither the persuasion of our President or the wrath of the Marshalls could induce the crowd to sit down or keep quiet; consequently not a fourth part heard or knew anything said or done except from the programmes. I heard only the valedictory, which was as good, I think as any ever delivered here. From some who did hear however I learn that they all acquitted them selves [nobly] honorably. The Bursench Colloquy and Latin Creation were omitted owing to the confusion and want of time. Dr. Robinson was here and they say that he acted as though mad every time a lady came on the stage I can't endure that man. I never did like him and it is less than ever that I esteem him now. You know James that I am far from ultra on the question of "Woman's Rights"; but I will despise Dr Robinson or any other men of his intelligence who would [pro?] a lady from the stage who has stood, as a student, beside her brothers. Quite to our surprise, Almeda's face of sunshine appeared among us that day, and Harry & Barbara were here. - O. P. Miller preaches in Ravenna this year He is here to day and we have been trying all day to have a ride, first we thought of visiting the "Nelson Lodge" with Bro. & Sister Munnell but it was so warm we backed out of that, or as he says, tell you, he backed out and just now he was talking about going down to see cousin Mary. I told him perhaps I would go but now I am going to "fly the track", and see what he will sing. He says tell you he was the tooth ache. A funny message; but Oliver is a droll boy. He often reminds me of a certain privilege granted him by one whom he says has authority, and he trys to make me understand that I should be subject to that authority, but somehow I am always too dull to comprehend his remarks, and guess he will give up in despair of ever teaching meanything in that line. He has been proposing that I go to Ravenna this fall and teach. Mr. Wilmot has turned out a bad man and left his school vacant, and he says he will inquire about the school, and get it for me if I will consent. I am ashamed to ask you what you think of it as I am always [starting] planning some enterprise which I never undertake. Nevertheless you may if you choose give me your opinion, and I will thank you most cordially [thank you] for it. I presume it would be a foolish undertaking for me even if I could obtain the school, for I doubt very much my capability of managing such a school. O. P. leaves a very urgent invitation for us to visit him while you are here you can decide that at your leisure. I will try and not make myself too troublesome with visits and visiting when you return home but you know we will have all the waiting of fourteen long months crowded into a few weeks. I shall certainly be interested in a recital of your childhood's history, but presume mine will not be very different from that of the mass of children James when you get tired reading such awful looking letters as I write, you can give me a good scolding and I presume I shall try and write better. I know it is a disgrace to send out such specimens of penmanship but somehow I don't help it. Dearest you know I can never hear from you too often, but when your duties keep you employed until time to rest I do not ask you to rob yourself of that to please me. Still I hope you will have time to write again soon. I received the "Index" you sent & and return a programme. In hope of seeing you soon and speaking face to face I remain faithfully your own Lucretia Take good care of your health. Do not get sick again.U.S. POSTAGE THREE CENTS HIRAM JUNE 30 OHIO Mr. James A. Garfield Williams town Mass. [*72*][*Hiram Ohio*] Williams College, July 7th 1855. My Own Dear Crete, Yours of June 30th reached me July 6th and I will start one back as soon as possible for it seems as if the mails had declared war against us, and were determined to delay our letters as long as possible. I had just returned from a botanizing expedition when I received yours. I had travelled 15 miles of the way on foot to get a view from the top of Greylock the highest mountain in Massachusetts. When I reached there it began to rain and I didn't do much else but float all the rest of the day. It would tickle you to see me walk. There are blisters on the bottom of both feet so that I can not limp, but go wadelling along [*34*] like a little 'frail man: in company.So here I am with my feet bolstered up trying to write a letter to you. I read your account of the Commencement Exercises with much interest, & during the day that it was going off I wanted very much to be there and see the many whom I should know. No doubt all the performers acquitted themselves well. I should have been glad to hear Madame La Fayette and the other "Personal Collequi" in their several characters. I am told the Colloquy was very good. You speak of Dr Robison's non-chalant in reference to the exhibition. He does sometimes act as if the idea of being pleased never entered his mind. I saw him sit by the side of Bro. Campbell and sleep most soundly while Bro. C. was preaching. Now I know you are not ultra in reference to Woman's Rights, and all me, Dearest, do you think it conducive to her best interests to [accertion?] her self to delivering oration before public audiences? I confess I do not and the more exalted views I get of Woman's character and capabilities, the the more I am inclined to the opinion that her own best interest do not lie in that path. Far be it from me to "frown her away" from haranguing, but I would have her own highest good and hence the good of others, dissuade her from taking that direction. How far she may go or when the line should be drawn, is no easy question to decide. We see society taking extreme positions on each side as they do in every thing else. The discussion must have been fines Rhodes is a noble fellow. And had the popular, though I think, the wrong side of the question. Bro O.P. was in his element on that subject. Certainly we must visit him in August if he is near. I had not heard from him for a long time, and not a word from Harvey has reached in six months. Is he married yet? What has Barbara been doing this summer?There seems to be a favorable opening in Ravenna for a school and it would doubtless be a good place for you. Now, Dearest what can I say after all your modest talk about your own abilities. Really I am nearly provoked at you to have you say, "I doubt very much my capabilities for managing such a school." My only fear is that the care and labor of such a school would be too much for your health and strength---You have not told me for a long time the state of your health. Tell me next time---What is to be done at Hiram next year? Who are to be the teachers in the place of the departed One Year ago next Wednesday I reached Williams, and six weeks from then I hope to be in Ohio if not sooner--- We are working very hard and are preparing for some 12 examinations at the close of this year. I have not yet finished my poem, and it is to come off the 18th I send you a card of invitation --- Do you think you will attend???? How are you spending the vacation? Would I like to walk down east with you some of these lovely evenings to that large stone where we sat, over a year ago!--Do you ever go there? Do write soon & tell me all about yourself and your enjoyments. As ever your own James. [*Williamstown Mass*] Cleveland. July 8th [*1855*] Dearest: Your Bethany offering I received to day and hasten to respond for I expect this is the last leisure moment that will be mine until I am away in my home again: [Dearest] and then it will be to late for a letter to meet you at New York. Tomorrow we close up the term, and there is such an immense amount of reporting to made out. How I hate it - and then cousin Mary Mason and sis Ellen are coming out tomorrow evening to stay with me until I go home - Saturday P.M. and I must give them all the time I have. The hours drag wearily now. It is very warm [*70*]and the scholars are tired out and I am too. Mr. Reese is quite worn down and confined to his room. - I was quite interested with the account of your travels - though I must confess myself rather an unpleasantly "struck" with its brevity, and for once I felt "Uncle William" an intruder. Doubtless you found many noble and good men at Bethany whose acquaintance you will prize, although you may not be able to subscribe to all their peculiar views. I presume we are not generally sufficiently tolerant in passing judgement upon those who hold different opinions from ours: and often an acquaintance with those whose course we condemn would entirely reverse our feelings towards them. - Did Harry go on to Bethany with you? He is truly one of nature's noblemen. I received a letter from Mary White yesterday. She speaks of Harry and of all her Hiram friends with so much enthusiasm. Mary may not be a brilliant scholar, but she is a close observer, and possesses a nice appreciation of good and noble traits of character. She is a dear good girl, and has been to me a truer sister than I have often found. Indeed there is no one whom I can approach with more freedom, not even our tried and faithful friend Almeda. - "The purple folds of the low sweet clouds" hang again over Erie's pearly waters. It is not such a rich glorious sunset as that which we together witnessed a fewevenings since but it is one which bears back to me the sweetness of that hour, and veils it in a beauty not less lovely than that which it spreads over the vest. A little wish is quietly whispering to my heart, O that those same lips were even now near to repeat with me "The Song of the Poet." But I say to it be still. Make not this heart ask for too much of bliss. Rather let it still its throbbings with this sweeter song - "O days and hours your [works?] this, "To keep me from my proper place, "A little while from his embrace, "For fuller gains of after bliss, & c." How it was rather my intention when I commenced this, not to trouble you to turn on to the fourth page but I trust you will pardon me this time. Perhaps I may be more laconic in future. May Heaven protect you and bring you again safely to the arms of your loving Crete. P.S. I am afraid when I get home with nothing to do but think that I shall be asking for much as two or three letters more before you get home. Crete.[*Williamstown Mass*] Hiram July 17th, 1855. My Dear James: I have been working very busily all day, and am somewhat tired consequently no in the best humor imaginable, but I shall not be weary or illnatured long now that I can talk to you a little while. - Talk to you did I say? but no, no; you are not here yet. Would that you were, - even these dark sullen clouds that hang so gloomily around, would to me be radiant with smiles and promises of glad hopes realized were you near to look upon there with me. I almost grow impatient the weeks move so tardily but they will roll their long lengths around, and you will be with me again. Heaven will grant that precious joy; and in only four weeks more, is not that the [?ing]? - you ask how I am spending vacation. Sewing most of the time, I find a little time however every day for music and reading. I have rented [*68*]a piano of Miss Smith, you would laugh to see it. I should judge it might be the one our first mother used it looks so antiquated, but nevertheless it has a key board and makes a noise, and I can discipline my fingers if not my ear. When my fortune comes however it shall find itself cast in the shade of its better. Here, the sun is bursting forth again and the clouds are radiant with the light of its golden rays. {I might have known it would when I commenced writing to you.} Ah yes, and so is my [heart] soul light with the rays a golden future sheds upon it; and now appears the [?s] of promise, bright messenger to tell me that my hopes shall not fail. Dearest James you can scarce imagine a sight more lovely than now meets my eyes. The eastern sky that sky that hangs over you, is half curtained with drapery of richest gold and purple, while beyond the fair blue sky so soft so mild is leading my eye away far into its mysterious depths, [and] while beneath the bright green earth is spread out like a fairy picture, surely tis Heaven above tis paradise below. How my heart glows with rapture and delight while witnessing such a scene. How glorious is Nature. How perfect, how complete in loneliness. But who through Nature looks not up to Nature's God, knows not her majesty, nor half her beauty sees. - I am reading Milton now. Strange child I am that I have never unlocked its treasures before; but I fancied because it was poetry that I should find nothing that would please me so passed it by, and I am in no ecstasy now, but lost as I read, carried away from self from the present, into the far far past and there live, and list the sweet communings of the happy pair, as in their primal innocence and glory they wander hand in hand through Eden's embowered paths - "a wilderness of sweets" - for [as] "to their morning's [?] work they haste among sweet dews and flowers". Or arapt in wonder I heed her as Raphael the strange story tells of war in Heaven - of the fallen spirits, and closes with the admonition to becomelest they too disobey and bring upon themselves destruction. And why did they? Why did fair beautiful Eve listen to the serpent's beguiling words? Poor weak, weak woman! [B???er] fallen and tears of anguish have all thy daughters wept for thy sins. And now you ask shall woman accustom herself to a life before the public. I cannot answer you nor do I wish to. Let those answer who wish thus to do. My whole nature [shrinks] revolts from it. I have not, nor ever have had the least desire to make such a life mine. Others feel differently however, and for themselves they must decide that question. Decide whether it is the tempter's voice urging them to taste the fruits of popular praise or the prompting of a good spirit. So far as my observation - very limited to be sure - has extended. I find the majority of those who aspire to (or rather desire) such a place seem rather to shrink from those duties which peculiarly belong to woman, and if woman forsake her post who shall fill her place! All this however I consider as having little bearing upon the propriety of ladies, while in school, occasionally appearing before the public as orators. Because they may declaim an article which they have prepared, rather than read it is no reason that they are or wishes to be [a] public orators more than because they go through a course [?] surmizing that they must necessarily follow that business. My sheet is almost full and I have scarcely begun to answer your questions but now I will respond to all, and show you a funny letter I received a few days since. I will think of you tomorrow dearest and in spirit be with you. Will you send a copy your poem when you write again or reserve it to read to me when you come home? I believe I shall love [it] better to hear you read it - James, dearest when it is said of you, another Milton has been born - I will read only poetry, and you shall be my only author, James. I am your Lucretia. My health is very good, and I trust you will remember yourself mortal. My thanks for the card you sent. L. Shall I hear again very soon dearest![*Hiram*] Williams College Mass. Lord's Day Eve. July 22nd 1855. My Own Beloved, "The Day is done and the darkness Falls from the wing of Night, As a feather is wafted downward From an eagle in his flight. Come, read to me some poem, Some simple heartfelt lay, That shall soothe this restless feeling, And banish the thoughts of day. Not from the grand old masters, Not from the bard sublime, Whose distant footsteps echo, Through the corridors of time. For, like strains of martial music, Their mighty thoughts suggest, Life's endless toil and endeavor And to night I long for rest--- I send you a programme of the Adelphic Union Exhibition. You will be impressed at my theme, but please remember that I wrote for the occasion and not for myself ---- own James. [*35*] Read from some humbled poet, Whose song gushed from his heart, As showers from the clouds of summer Or tears from the eyelids start. Such songs have power to quiet The restless pulse of care, And come like a benediction, That follows after prayer. Then read from the Treasured volume The poem of thy choice, And lend to the rhyme of the poet, The music of thy voice. And the night shall be filled with music And the cares that infest the day Shall fold their tents like the Arabs And as silently steal away." These lines of our noble Longfellow so express my feelings tonight that could not help copying them for you. I have very much afflicted with boils for the last two months, and now I have one on the large cord of my neck which is exceedingly painful. I have already been disabled by it for two or three days and have had neither ease nor sleep for near forty hours. It is so near the brain as to make me very dizzy. But it will be better soon I think. I would I were with you, Dearest, this lonely night. Do you think you can wish to see me as much I to see you? The hours have leaden wings that waft me to you---Charles starts for Ohio tomorrow morning. He's nearly tired out and has got leave of absence and wants to go. I never believe in giving up till I accomplish that where???? I set out. Nothing but sickness or the death of friends would take me to Ohio before the duties of the year were done, however much I may with to be there. I have, in addition to my college duties, the first No of Quarterly to publish before I go---- By this and other duties I shall be detained a while, but I hope to be in Ohio by the 20th of August You will probably see Charles in the course of ten days & perhaps sooner I suspect that the special object of his early visit to Ohio is someway connected with the Eclectic, (Inter nos.) Tell me, dearest, what you think of the Eclectic as a permanent field of future labor? I must say that the more I reflect upon the subject, the more I feel as if I should never again teach at the Eclectic - My spirit turns away toward the wild free west & asks to be set "in a wide place." But I cannot yet tell. I may perhaps be called upon to give answer soon and I would hear your thoughts upon it - -There are a world of things I want to say to you and ask you when I come which I will not attempt to write -- What are the prospects for the Eclectic next fall? Have you decided upon your programme of proceedings for there? Pardon this badly written letter for it has been done in much pain - Fondly I [time?][*Williamstown Mas*] Hiram, July 31st, 1855. James, Dearest: Charles has been here and just left us. I have had a pleasant little visit with him this morning, and feel almost as though I had caught a breath from you to see one so lately from your presence. He gives rather a sorry report of your conditions when he left but I trust [you] it is somewhat improved before this. I know very well how to sympathize with you in your affliction as I have several times tasted of Job's bitter cup. But I will hasten to what is most interesting me just now. The evening I received your last letter - Saturday evening last - a line came from the board of education at Ravenna inviting me to take charge of the intermediate department of the Public school in that place and offering six dollars per week. As they gave me no information respecting the character of the school I went down there yesterday for the purpose of learning something [*64*]more definite regarding it. The school I judge differs not much from any district school with this exception - that the teaching of all the departments is not crowded into one. and concluding I could not do better at present have engaged it - to commence Sept. 13th. Now I will explain a little concerning that I suppose you will hear something before this reaches you. Mr. Miller in his inquiries after you and Charles, asked if Charles was intending to teach here this fall. I replied that I did not know, that you had written that you were both intending to teach one term before graduating but I did not know where. Immediately he asked if you would not come to Ravenna and take charge of the male department of the High school as they had no one engaged Of course I did not know, and told him that I knew nothing of your arrangements in reference to teaching. But he went directly to see Mr. Ebert, on the board, who said he would write to you last evening. Mr. Miller was quite awake [and] going to have you here directly. I need not tell you, dearest, how much it would please me to have you accept the situation still you know better than I whether it would be expedient or not, commencing so soon I know would give you no vacation which you must need, still I cannot but indulge the hope because it is so pleasing I suppose - that you will decide to come. I will not plead the case however for I know your own better judgement will lead you to the wisest decision. The affairs of the Eclectic are so unsettled that I know not what to hope for the future. The past year has been very unfavorable to her interests financially and instead of her debt becoming lessened it has been accumulating, the solicitor not having obtained enough to cancel the interest on borrowed money, and the teachers' salary amounted to some five hundred dollars more than the tuition fee, I believe. But there is one favorable indication. Those interested in her welfare are growing alarmed and begin to see the necessity of making a new, and more thorough start. How it will result however I cannot tell. You speak of the West. Surely there is a wide, wide field in which to work, and sometimes I have felt my spirit going out in strong desire to make her wilds my home, and live and die in toil for her, but oftener, far oftener does the starting tear at such a thought, tell how much dearer to my heart is my fondlyloved home. I cannot advise you though my best loved and till I see you will only quote what I once found written on a page in my Greek Grammar. ["????? ??? ??? ?????."] When we meet again however we will talk of all these things. The 20th of next month you will be in Ohio, and three weeks from to day may I expect to see you! O that it could be at my home [that I might see you there] but I shall be then at Ravenna. As soon as you have seen your dear good Mother, and she will consent to let you go a little while, come to me for I shall be homesick by that time, consequently doubly anxious to see you. I am such a baby that I dread going as far from home as Ravenna. Don't laugh at me, don't. But we must certainly visit Hiram together, for I should feel as though I had not seen you at all unless we could spend a little time in that dear old place, sacred, by its many pleasing associations. Direct your next letter to R. and write all the good things you can think of. Mary Sumer is spending a few days with me now. She is the same funny girl, and just as good. She brought the sad intelligence of the death of Martha Miles. Martha was taken ill last New Year's day with the Typhoid fever, and never recovered. After the fever left her she sank into a consumption, and died about two weeks since. - Your quotation from Longfellow was very beautiful and I thank you for it, also for the programme you sent. Do write immediately if your duties will permit, and remember me still as your own devoted: Lucretia. I can think of a dozen other things that I wished to write now that I have finished but wait a little longer and we will speak face to face. [*Do please give the proposition the Ravenna people submit to you a little consideration. Almost dying to see you. Lucretia*][*Ravenna*] Williams. Aug 11th, 1855. Lucretia Dearest: Yours of the 1st reached me in good time, but it has been absolutely impossible for me to answer it till now. I have been at work on the Quarterly and the examinations and the latter were finished last evening, and the Quart. - my literary first born - will be out this afternoon. As soon as it comes I will send you a copy - During the coming week I shall begin to turn my attentions toward preparing for seeing the West. I have not heard from the Directors of the High School in Ravenna, and I presume they have found a teacher. It would be very pleasant for me to be there with you, and you do not know [*36*]how my heart leaped with the desire to be there with you during the pleasant hours of this coming fall. But my duties here are now many more than merely those that the College requires. And I don't think it would be best for me to be away in the beginning of Senior Year. I shall be saying no more than the truth when I say that I have a third more work laid upon me than any other student has, especially for this and the coming term. But doubtless I am not wanted in Ravenna and so there [are] is no need of my excuses. Than you, dearest, for your kind desire to have me with you. And I hope ere long they may be realized--- I had made a great many little nameless plans for visiting with you when I come, but I fear your duties to your school will not allow us to carry them out. I had hoped we might take a ride through Chester and perhaps to the Little Mountain if you wished to do so, but we will soon talk over all these matters. it seems to me as if I should not be allowed to enjoy such [unl] unalloyed happiness as I anticipate, for it would be unlike the happiness that mortals may taste. But I hope that the Providence of God may smile upon my visit and give me a foretaste of what my dreaming visions have painted in the future--- Next Monday I suppose you go to your task. I trust it may be a pleasant one. I hope to be there at your side, nay in your Arms by Tuesday the 21st inst. I hope you will not criticize too sharply the Quarterly, for my work has been done calamo currente, and we were much pressed for want of copy--The Editor's Table had to be abridged four or five manuscript pages, and it is therefore in a disjointed condition. However I will make no more apologies till I see you. I wonder what kind of a report Charles made to you? I suppose he performed faithfully the duty enjoined upon him. Shall you be able to attend the Trumball Co. Yearly meeting or any of the meetings when I am there? I anticipate much pleasure in being among the Brethren once more - Dearest, I must close. And I hope though I shall not have a written answer to this, that you will now answer it with a kiss - Fondly thine own James[*Williamstown Mass*] Wednesday evening. Sept. 12th [*1855*] My Own Loved James: I can scarcely realize my own existence this evening all seems so new, so strange. A new leaf in life's book has been turned over, and with what beautifully bright characters are its pages traced. I look, and wonder if it is indeed true that I have opened upon such a bright spot of existence, and almost tremble lest it be an illusion; but again I look and know that it is real, that it is indeed no false fleeting vision. Is it true, dearest, that you did come again? That you are verily beside me again, and that we talked together; and that we looked into each others eyes and through them down to the very depths of our hearts? Surely it is true: but how strange it seems to me when I had so entirely given up the hope of seeing you before you left. I know not why I should, or did so; but if ever I gave up a loved hope it was [*63*]that one. But it sent a chill through my whole being for I felt that if you were what I had thought you were you would come to give one "good bye kiss". But I was settling down upon this conviction, that I had before me a false ideal, and began to doubt whether there could be in our fallen state a perfect union of spirits in hopes and desires so that there might be no jarrings: and I had very heroically determined to make the best of it, and though it was a freezing thought concluded that I could never find that sweet trust and confidence which every throb of my heart was calling for. I saw how others lived - that, what they called wedded love was in truth but a union of earthly interests, and I feared, indeed I had almost decided, that there was in reality no love deeper and holier. What an awful conclusion!! and yet I was striving to reconcile myself to it. But to my surprise--my delight O how infinite that dark veil has been rent asunder which was mantling in gloom my spirit, and the warmest purest rays of love's golden light came shining full upon my soul. Dearest James, I can see only the guiding of a providential hand in all your visit to Ohio. The darkness, doubt and cold distrust which made us both so miserable formed but the background on which was brought out so clearly so vividly that beautiful brightness which has thrown around us its halo of glory. And now my own, my loved, my noble James am I not happy? Did my heart ever know such happiness before? such a pure deep joy! Never, never. But must there ever be one chord that will vibrate with sadness? Even now there is one in my own heart, and that because you cannot be near. Another year must now roll its long months between us; but a year what is it? Days will soon melt into weeks, and weeks roll months around. And dearest I feel a confidence that this year will be spared to us both; and that we shall meet again, and enjoy that sweet communion [that] which it was ours to know last evening. Heaven grant it.Thursday evening. Well "Jamie" it was not a very dear letter I wrote you last night after all, but I will send it to show you that at least I kept my promise. I felt more like thinking [then] and trying to bring myself into a realization of that happiness which I knew was mine, but which seemed so surreal, because so unexpected, than trying to arrange and write down those sweet thoughts and expressions that were floating with fairy like indistinctness through my brain. Did you give my love to your Mother! I know I forgot to tell you to - I am such a thoughtless girl; but you certainly knew that I intended so to do though I did not say it. I have just been out riding with O.P. and a nice little brotherly and sisterly visit we have had! What a new world I am living in! All my life before has been in a mist - a cloud. I believed there was pure glad sunshine beyond and sometimes I fancied I saw it gleaming through the darkness. But now is it time? - the shadows have fled - the dark [from] cloud has parted before me, and rolls back its misty form beneath my feet, and the sun light of Heaven glad, free, and pure reveals such a wealth of beauty and gladness all around me, Its warming enlivening rays enter my soul. and unreal fountains of love, which before were bound with icy fetters. O how beautiful to live in such a world of light and love. And I cannot - you will not ask me, dearest, will you? to forbid the out gushing's of this heart longer. May I not draw near, and discarding all conventionality throw myself into your arms and call you all mine - friend - lover - husband? I know not why I ask this; for I know already it is my privilege but the heart is ever asking some new assurance. - You told me to fill four sheets, but should I fill a dozen, I could not tell you all nor can I ever until I am with you every day every hour, and even then will the fountain of love, ever be exhausted? Will there not ever be new depths of purer holier love opening up to surprise and gladden us, on on even to eternity. I know that I shall hear from you soon, Your own loving; Lucretia.U.S.POSTAGE THREE CENTS Mr. James A. Garfield Williamstown Mass. [*63-A*][*Ravenna*] Williams College. Tuesday Eve. September 18th, 1855. My Own Beloved Lucretia: Did you ever dream, in a winter night, of the lovely Summer time? It is a cold shivery day here, but it is the Sweet Summer time in my heart. I shrink even from the greeting of of warm friends that welcome my return, and have hastened away to my desk to bask in the joyous sunlight of love and drink in the refreshing felicity that your dear letter brings me. My soul once cried," Rooms to let"!!! but it is full to overflowing now. From foundation to top stone the halls are chorals with joy. My every thought goes westward and, singing, like a golden Seraph, its song of rejoicing & love. [*37*]Need I tell you that it is your pure love that thrills me, fills me with emotions I never before felt! God grant they may never grow less! But you will ask a brief history of myself since that sweet but tearful kiss was given. I reached mother's that afternoon at five o'clock, and the next day went with her and Brother Thomas to Newburgh. On Friday morning I went back to Bedford after some books for the Theological Society here and then went to Cleveland where I found Mother and Thomas & both my sisters. We all sat together for our Daguerrotype & gave it to Mother. There we parted Thomas for the West, I for the East. And poor Mother went back tearfully and lonely --- At 9 in the evening I stood again on the deck of the "Queen of the West" Et urbes terraegne recedebant." The Lake was still as a mill pond and we had a pleasant passage. I should have preferred a storm. Bros. Munnell & Wilber were on board, & Lucy Baldwin and several of her friends. At 7 1/2 in the morning we were in Buffalo and at 8 were on the cars thundering on towards the Orient. Noon found us in Syracuse, and after six hours we were in Tully. Onondaga Co. N. Y. and listening to a discourse from Bro. Benedict of Newburgh O. Munnell & Wilber left us at Buffalo & went to Williamsville. Attended meeting on Lord's Day, which was the largest Concourse of Disciples ever convened in York State. They are noble brethren & every moment not in meeting was spent visiting and warm greetings. At 9 1/2 o'clock Monday morning about 200 brethren and sisters met atthe meeting house, and after singing and prayer, marched in procession to the cars where nearly one hundred went on board for their homes, and the rest returned. At eleven, we left Syracuse and in the evening reached Troy. Early this morning I was flying along the foot of the Green Mountains, and at 2 o'clock this afternoon I stood within the Hall of "Old Williams." I find a young Chaos in my new room, but I have set down among it all to drop this letter to you that you may know that I yet live not withstanding a very narrow escape on the cars in Newburgh, O. One inch and I should have been under the sod ere this, but all right now - I am six days behind my class, but I'll overhaul them ere long - Darling one, I shall walk in the light this year, yes in the warm sunlight of your own dear love. I would write a quire to you but I must tell Mother I am Safe and several others. My own Dearest Beloved let there never be a veil between us again. Come to my arms & heart always and I will to yours. There is my home, my only home on earth. Let yours be here I am wholly your own & I know, may I not, be doubly [aps?p???] that you are all, all mine. I know I shall hear often. I would say much more, but must close. Most lovingly Your James.[*Wmstown Mass*] Ravenna, Sept. 22nd /55 "Jamie", My Love: The quiet hour of nine finds me here all alone with your previous letter - just received this evening - before me. Alone! - But am I ever alone? O no. I know that you, dearest, are near, and it is a very joy to be alone with you, though it be only in spirit. True, joy would be more tangible could these "eyes look love" to thine, and affections kiss be fondly given, but would it be any more true? or real? Surely not - only more perceptible, and to this fullness it shall be our ere long. This evening Miss Reed is away and Oliver has been spending it with me, the first time he has been here for more than a week as he has been sick, and this is the reason also that he has not written to you before. Poor fellow, I pity him most sorely. He is perfectly miserable. He [*62*]brought me two of her [?????s] letters to read, one of them the last he received, and I must confess I was surprised - to say the least - when I read it. Notwithstanding all he has said and written to her of his feelings and the cause of them, it was the coolest most indifferent kind of news letter you can imagine. - not one word refering to anything of the kind, as though all was passing on as smoothly as could be asked, She is either most strangely insensible, or else determined not to yield to the thought that this change of feeling is anything which can be permanent. He seems perfectly disgusted with her, and I am very confident that he can never feel differently, and I have counseled him, not only for his own happiness, but for hers also, to conclude the affair as soon as possible. I would much rather see the best hope crushed and withered in the dust, than live on week after week in anxious suspense, hoping and despairing and finally be obliged to yield to such a cruel fate: therefore did I thus advise him. Sunday morning. The glad glorious sun upon his eastern throne is flooding the earth with golden light, and warming her cold bosom with his loving smiles, so from the eastern hills you, my dear, my noble James, are pouring around me a wealth of light, but more glorious far than the sunlight of heaven are its radiant beams - and with the deep true affection of your warm heart lighting every smile with fondness, you are kindling in this bosom a love which is new life to my soul; and which I can only tell with the joy glittering tear. Dearest, surely it was the guiding of an angel bright that led us to a path so blissfully light. This morning I awoke long before day, and after my first thought - which was of you - your quotation from Virgil came into my mind, and that was the key which unlocked to me this morn the realms of the Past: but not to the shadows of the burried Past did it lead me. O, no but to the spirit land, where like a visionbeautiful and fair it arose before me. And from my first recollection of you, on, on to those happy hours when I was reading Virgil to you, and stumbling over Greek roots only kept from falling by your faithful hand, and onward still to those moments happier far, when the story of Cupid's pranks was laid aside for the sweeter pleasure of becoming his victims - down even to the last happy [interview?], all appeared before me clothed with a halo of brightness, and surely none but a hand divine could have led us through paths so bright, and may we not hope and trust that guided by such a hand our joys will never fade. - Last Saturday evening I was at home again and alone in my room where we sat together three weeks before commenced our reading together. for the coming year. How distance disappeared and how very near you seemed, as I read those holy words which I know you would read that very night perhaps even then were reading: and so each night I seem to meet you, nay, do meet you, and together - we appear before the golden alter from which the incense of our united praise and thanksgiving arises to the throne of God, our common Father. You write of a narrow escape at Newburgh. Thank Heaven for sparing that one inch. But James you must be more careful, and of your health also. Fevers are raging now, and the week that you left, [Levi? H?] Lane was brought from New York a corpse, and another gentleman from Breedon, as robust and strong as yourself, died there about the same time. Now do not think yourself invulnerable to the shafts of disease; but guard well the health you now possess. May I not hear from you again next Saturday? I think so: for your last was not mailed until the 20th, and I received it the 22nd. How much nearer your letters bring you to me when they come so soon. Do you ask one more assurance of my love and entire devotion to yourself? Here it is then - and do not doubt me now that I tell you - I am, with fondest affection entirely yours for life, and in death may we not be divided is my prayer. Most fondly yours: Lucretia.Mr. James A. Garfield Williamstown Mass. 62-A[**Ravenna**] Williams. Friday Sept. 26th 1855. My Own Darling One, Last night your precious letter reached me, and this early morning my heart & thoughts go westward with the rising sun to greet you with the warm sunshine of a sunlit love. Your letter was five days on the road, and though I shall send this by the return mail this morning, I fear it will not reach you on Saturday. You know not all the joy that your loved letter brings to me. It puts you in my arms again and I live over the bliss of a few days ago--You feel these things too, I know. After so long a time I begin to find myself pretty near settled down in the Year's work. I had things arranged once, but [**38**]when Charles came (one week after I reached here) we had to tear every thing up to divide our household furniture, for we do not room together this year. He has the magnetic observatory, a little octagonal building in the grove, and I have a room in East College (No 23.) with the Theological Library of 1600 volumes attached to it. My situation is extremely pleasant, & I think I shall be much better satisfied to room alone where I can commune with myself more than I have heretofore been able to do. And one of my highest and brightest joys will be to sit right here, and write to you. Almost every letter I ever wrote you since here, has been penned at this desk, & here I always come and seat myself before I open your letters to read them. And here I sit and read with you from the Sweet Psalmist of Israel. By the way let us be sure that we are reading in the same place. Last evening (Thursday) I read the 26th & 27th - did you the same? Our College work is fully commenced. I presume I told you what the design plan of the Senior Year. If I did not I will at another time. In conformity with that plan we are now Study Anatomy & Physiology & Campbell's Philosophy of Rhetoric & we have occasional exercises in writing & debating & also every Saturday A. M. we recite in "Vincent on the Catechism." We have but two regular studies at a time which is somewhat different from the [course] [order] order in the three first years of the course. I have just received a letter from Oliver telling me of his sickness & its causes. My heart bleeds for him for I know just how to sympathize with him. It is a sorrowful thing onboth sides, especially so since it has gone so far. I continued to hope that it might still go on till I saw her cold-hearted news-letters and I could not read her words. Such letters would freeze me up in an hour. If she had the feeling of a woman that knows what it is to love they would be written with tear blots as well as ink. I can see no better way now than to break it off immediately. You will be a great comfort to Oliver I know. I wish I could see him myself also. I shall answer his letter soon. - I now expect to go to N. Y. City one week from today, both on College business, and to attend the Bible Union Anniversary - I shall be gone about four days. I must have one more sweet letter from you before I go shan't I?? I don't think mails from the west are always so slow. My love to your people, and now my best Beloved Crete light of my life, & joy of my heart, I am Your own James.[*Williamstown Mass*] Ravenna. Oct. 2nd. [*[1855]*] James, My Loved One: It is already past ten but before I can seek my pillow, and visit you in the land of dreams must answer your treasure of a letter not received until today. I designed this evening for my sweetest task, but tomorrow I enter upon the duties of my new situation and Mr. Colter (our new teacher) has been here making some arrangements and visiting which has detained me until this late hour for commencing. I am well pleased with the appearance of our new superintendent. He is very friendly and social and I think I shall enjoy very much the society of himself and wife as they are to board with us. I have been visiting the school to day that we are going into, and am much pleased with it. I shall teach [*61*]the classes in French, Ray's written Arithmetic one class in Mental Arithmetic, one in Mental Algebra, also one in written Algebra, and the Reading classes. Such is the material out of which a map of my work for the remainder of the fall term is formed. Closed in the Intermediate last Thursday, and did not tell the scholars that I was going to leave them, thinking that they would probably be pleased with a change and I would allow them the pleasure of a surprise too. Yesterday noon I went over to see the teacher, and to my surprise found almost all my girls crying and some of the boys and flocking around me they begged of me to stay with them. Then I felt that for all my toil I was compensated a thousand times. It is sweet to be loved is it not? O yes, but what would the love of the world be if you had none for me. But with the warm sunshine of your fond love pouring around me its golden light there can be no darkness more whatever clouds may hang above me their threatening forms, and dearest James are the heavens indeed all light above you? Has that bright day - for which your soul has so long sighed - at last dawned upon you? And have you found in this love which my heart so freely bestows all the demands of your noble nature satisfied? - C. P. has gone to his Indiana home, to remain a few days. He visited Marcia the day before he left, and I have had no conversation with him since, but Miss Booth tells me that he told her that the affair was ended. My heart aches for Marcia but it is far better for her to know it now if such must be her sad fate. Philip and Nancy called on me a few moments last Wednesday morning. Philip was sick the reason why he was not at Euclid. He regretted very much not seeing you, but you will doubtless hear from him soon if not already. Nancy isjust as good and pretty as ever. I received a letter from an old friend Parinthe last week, and she writes very blissfully of her new situation. I hope it may never be less bright or promising. Somehow you have left me in the rears in our reading. I know not how I am sure as I have read the amount understood by me every night. viz. wherever there was not 20 verses in a Psalm we would read two. Perhaps you intended when there was not twenty in the two we should read three. If so, I will do so most certainly hereafter. Reckoning from those you read last thursday evening I read to night the 35th Psalm is it that one you read this evening? and that we may be sure and be together we will read the 41st and 42nd next Saturday night. Now James I hope I shall not hear that you have been through the streets of New York bareheaded. Do remember even if you have no care for yourself to take better care of your hat. Now dearest, one fond kiss and then good night. I hope this may reach you before you start for N. Y. but I do not know, but do write again very soon. your papers came yesterday. Thank you for it. Another kiss I do want and another and another still. now I will go and sleep a little while. Good night again and remember me as all your own; Lucretia.[*Ravenna*] Williams College Thursday Eve. Oct. 11 '55 Crete, My Own Darling This is my first leisure moment since I returned from New York City two days ago. I found your loved letter awaiting me, and I love to sit here alone tonight and embrace your heart in mine. How perfect the bliss when I feel that our hearts' tendrils are all intertwined in the holiest embrace and there is but one life one pulsation to both! How I long to cover your sweet lips with the fond kisses of love! It seems cruel that such a legion of moments should troop between us before we can again be in each other's arms. Most Loved One, do you know the joy it gives me to look [*39*]upon that fond memorial of our plighted love - Our Daguerrotype. There speaks from you countenance such a volume of trust hope and love. Did you feel all that sweet finer confidence in me that your dear face expresses? It is the only picture of your dear self that at all satisfies me. You cannot know how much I love it. Dearest, You ask me if I have found my nature satisfied in your love. Ask the thirsty traveller in the desert if he is satisfied when he has found a deep fountain of pure water breaking out from the loneliness of the barren waste! Am I satisfied? My whole being responds, "I have found my own dear sweet home" And you, Darling, do you find any completeness of satisfaction in my rugged nature? Tell me your whole heart. Yes Dear Crete, the sky is bright. There are none but golden and azure tinted clouds. And may the God of tempests hold back forever the darkness from our hearts! I went to N. Y. for the double purpose of purchasing books for the Philologian Society, and for attending the Bible Union Anniversary. I saw Bro. Emett, Sheppards and several of our brethren and I enjoyed it very much. I believe it to be the great work of this century, and if all sectarianism is kept away from it, it will do much to unite[s] Christians - Bro. Emett gave an address but I did not get there in time to hear it - They said it was very fine - On my return by the solicitation of Bro [Yearsham?], I came by the way of Danbury Connecticut and spent Lord's Day with thecongregation of Disciples in that place - I spoke twice to them. There are 140 of them the only church in Conn. They want me to spend my vacation with them but I don't yet know whether I shall or not - -Danbury is a town of great historic interest and I was much pleased to go over the old camp ground of the Revolution. The town was burned by the British with the exception of three Tory houses which are yet standing. I saw the monument of Gen. Wooster who was killed there. One week from next Wednesday, I am to join in a public debate, and the week following, to deliver my exaugural address before the Phisologian Society. Shall I not hear from you very soon? Last Saturday evening I read as your proposed the 41st & 42nd & counting from there shall we read not less than 20 verses, nor more than 2 chapters at a time? Most fondly thine own JamesI have been obliged to clip this little down in order to get it in with out [binding?] - James - [*40*][*Williamstown, Mass.*] Ravenna, Oct. 17th 1855 James My Love: How I wish I could steal into your little "sometime" this evening, and surprise you with a kiss, and respond to every line, yes every word of your sweet letter received today with a kiss. Dearest you know not how I love that letter. It comes like the fragrance of flowers and its sweetness is inhales and becomes a part of my own being: and its deep rich tones of love are a music which fills my whole soul with its melody, and vibrates upon every heart-string - thrilling my whole being with joy. And now do you ask if I find aught to satisfy me in your "rugged" nature? If the towering oak may be called rugged is it not nevertheless the glory of the forest: and can the frail dependent vine have aught better or to ought more fondly cling [*60*] P.S. 2nd. This evening I read Psalms 62 & 3d. you say we shall read no less than 20 verses and no more than two chapters. Some two chapters do not contain 20 verses, what shall we do then? L.then its stern form as heavenward proudly reared it lifts her from the surrounding shades into the glorious sunlight. My own James my heart asks nothing your love does not bestow; and of this I now have new evidence. I had almost feared that if ever I should meet "Albert" again there might be perhaps an awaking in my heart of that love which I believed all buried. I knew not but this heart might tremble again with the echos of that affection whose voice I long since bade "be still", but now I know my strength, know that that love was but a momentary illusion, which could find no place when the real affection of my heart was called out. I have met "Albert" again. Placed my hand within his own. Looked into his eyes, and my heart felt not one thrill of delight, or pang of sorrow; and turned away to you with a deeper truer fondness than ever before. And now, how sweetly - how confidingly it rests in that fond embrace into which you have received it, I can never tell, and am sure my countenance even can never express it; and how strange, how mysterious this feeling that my heart has found a home within a heart, that it no longer beats for itself alone but is a part of another life. I can no way comprehend this sweet mystery; but only thank Heaven that its sacred holiness has been made ours. - Last Friday night I was at home again; and Mother sends to you her kind regards so of course brother does likewise though I did not hear him say so, But what think you she said when I presented her with the respects Albert sent? Of course nothing very bad: only "I would much rather have his respects than himself. I did not say amen audibly; Bro. Munnell has decided to go to "Williamsville at the close of the present session and is expecting Charles there to spend the winter with him; and Mother told me that they were expecting you back at Hiram to take Bro. Munnell's place (not this winter I do not mean. When you graduate.) How is that? Do you have anyidea of so doing? I do not know what is to be done at Hiram. There seems to be a great deal of dissatisfaction. In what it will result I cannot tell. Miss Booth feels almost disheartened. Bro. Hayden is away most of the time and affairs go on in about the old course. Wherever you spend your vacation, which I know will be where you can accomplish the most good for yourself and others, please allow me to remind you that I did not get a letter from you for six long weeks last winter. It shall not be so long again, shall it? I must say just one word about my school now to tell you how well I am enjoying it. I never was situated so pleasantly for teaching before. I am almost perfectly happy. I cannot find Tennyson's "Princess" here, but found "Maud" and have been reading it. I can scarcely tell whether I am pleased with it or not. His poetry is full of music but some how it does not exactly suit my taste. I like Alexander Smith much better. Now James dearest will you not hasten a letter away to me as soon as possible. The mails are getting very slow again. This little corner I have reserved for Miss Reed's message. I hope she will not think me selfish. She sends her respects and says if you have not found your hat she will send you my bonnet which I lost in the mud last Sunday night coming back from Hiram, [which] she says it will do better than nothing although [*the crown was somewhat jammed and a little muddy. Hoping to see that "address" very soon, and a letter sooner. I must close. With fondest affection, Lucretia.*] [*P.S. I met Sister Hayden as I was returning from school this noon with your letter, and just to please her showed the Postmark. She sends also a kind remembrance. L.*][*Williamstown Mass*] Ravenna. Oct. 27th. [*55*] James Dearest: I have no inclination to resist the temptation this beautiful autumnal day presents to sit down alone with you and give expression to the sweet thoughts which are making glad my spirit, although I have not received that dear letter from you [that] which I was hoping might come to cheer me with its sunny smiles and words of love and kindness. James, my own loved one you know not how my soul with all its hopes and aspirations - all its joys and sorrows - if it has any - turns away to you. One year ago I thought I loved you with all the strength of a warm deep affection - that I never could love more fondly; but how different was that feeling from the sweet true confidence which now makes my soul one with yours. Oh that last dear interview: that diamond set in memory's golden chain is a gift [*59*]for which the gratitude of my heart can never find utterance and for the wealth of a thousand worlds I would not yield it back. James is it true that there is now no veil between our spirits? That I need not fear to express to you even the most secret thought of my heart? Is it indeed true that you have taken me home to your heart; and while you hold me so fondly near that I may count its every throb, its most hidden thought may be mine? --- You have often heard me speak of my dear Lizzie. Last night we slept again in each other's arms. Almost in our childhood we yielded to each other a trust as entire as mortals can, and never has it been withdrawn and never never shall. We do not often meet, but those meetings are the linkings of our spirits. She and Mr. Pratt will be married soon, and next summer they visit Mass. and we have promised ourselves a meeting at Williams next commencement. She is very anxious to see you and continue the acquaintance she has formed with you from your letters. It is right that she should see them is it not dearest? while reading them she often remarked "how much this reminds me of Albert" (Mr. Pratt), which of course gave her a very favorable opinion of you. In truth we feel that you are almost brothers, educated at the same college, and loving two sisters. Lizzie is a sweet noble girl and I am sure you will admire and love her if ever you meet. She sends you her kind regards and says tell you she has seen your letters. --- Now "Jamie love" if you will only drop in and spend the evening with me I will thank you a thousand times and kiss you as many. I do feel a little like rebeling against destiny when I think of the ten or eleven months more that have usurped the privilege to separate us, and am a little disposed to find fault with "old Williams" for keeping you so long. But I suppose complaints will not better the matter, [and] so I will live among the bright visions of Hope, and bid the moments haste as best they may. ---Some time towards midnight, - O. P. has returned from the west and this evening we have been visiting out at Bro. Jening's. He came home feeling in far better spirits than when he left, owing to his freedom of which he now boasts. Surely he never loved Marcie, or the tie that bound them would not[e] have become a fetter. There is no bondage in true love; surely not. Oliver is feeling a little vexed with you because you have not written to him and says you shall not know anything about his affairs till you do. Now James I need not ask you to pardon me for this letter, need I? Although I have not received an answer to my last, may it not be my privilege to address you whenever I wish? And will you not write to me very often? You know not how I love just a word, or line telling me that I am oft remembered. Can you not write as often as once a week? But I will not make demands unreasonable for I know that your time is fully occupied: Still whenever you have a little leisure and inclination prompts will you send me just one or two blessed lines? The pale moon is smiling in the midnight sky and the silvery eyed stars are keeping their nightly watch, and well I love them all, for upon you they look and smile. Dearest you know that I love you, and may I not have one sweet kiss ere slumber seals my eyelids? Yes I know it is fondly tendered so good night, and remember me ever as yours only, Lucretia[*Ravenna*] Williams College Mass November 1st 1855. My Own Darling Crete. I know it will take all your love and kindness to forgive this delay, but yet I believe you will do it. Your two sweet letters lie before me unanswered and twenty-two others beside them!!! I have not written a letter for two weeks till now - Just as your first letter was received my class went off to meet the Senior Class of Amherst College and were gone three days I was one of the Committee of Arrangements and had much to do - [We were gone three days.] While there, I caught a severe cold and after my return was sick four days - As soon as my health permitted I went to work preparing for the Public Debate, whichcame off on the 24th ult. I then was about answering your letter, when I had a sudden call to go to Pittstown N.Y. to speak and that took two days more. After my return, every moment was occupied till last evening preparing my Exaugural Address on retiring from the Presidency of the Philologian Society. My opposing candidate and his supporters smarted under their defeat by a "novus [?]" like myself, made a body of not very generous critics and I felt like doing something tolerably decent in their presence last evening. That is now past and I breathe freely once more, Dearest, is this historical excuse sufficient? But it is so sweet to turn from this interminable rush - this whirl of excitement and pillow my throbbing head upon your own true heart. Oh I feel such a warm [assurance?] that you are all mine and I am all all yours. Your two dear letters Express no wish no thought no emotion that my own soul does not fully respond to with the full tide of my affections How inexpressibly blissful would it be could I but take you to my arms tonight and feel the throbbing of your own heart against mine, and the thrill of your ardent kiss. I'm fast wearing out the glass of that sweet likeness of you. pray have pity on it and come to me yourself. Thank you a thousand times Dearest for writing again without waiting for a response Do so always. Be assured I never delay an answer willingly But I have time Enough now and think I shall have hereafter. As often as you[r] are willing to write I'll write to you, if it be every day. I think I shall not always live such a thunderbolt lifeas I have known the last three weeks. And you have had a visit from your dear friend Lizze. I know she is sweet and good or you would not love her. Give her my love. I Shall be more than happy to see you all at Williams next Commencement. I see the name of Mr. Pratt on our Catalogues as a graduate of the class of 1850. I shall be glad to meet him. There are a hundred things I want to say to you now but I fear if I do not hurry this sheet to the mail it will get left till tomorrow. Accompanying this I send you a paper and a miserably printed Catalogue. We hope to have a better one soon. Enclosed please find a programme of the Debate, Give my love to your Father & Mother, Today I am to commence the study of the language in which Moses wrote, & Abraham conversed. It is in addition to the regular course. Will you my own darling one, forgive this delay and this hasty letter- I shall write again soon and my I hear from thee soon, Fondly Thine own James. [*Williamstown Mass*] Ravenna. Nov. 7th /'55. My Own Dearest James: I cannot tell you how happy I am to sit here again by my table with another dear message of love from you before me. The fire burns more cheerily - the candle shines more brightly, and everything around me has put on a smile, even the dull long rain has [put aside] lost its gloom, and the pattering drops fall with a sweet music upon my ear now that another dear assurance of your love has been borne to me. Most assuredly I pardon you dearest for not writing before - much as I love your letters and though almost impatiently [though] I wait for them; and only regret that you have been ill. I would not have had you forego a single pleasure or neglect a single duty to write sooner. I am alone now. Miss. Reed's long walk and the rain frightened her away, and she has taken rooms in the Collin's House, leaving me to the enjoyment of [*58*]my own society with which I am very well contented at present. In truth I love to be alone - unless you dearest may be with me - I can arrange my room now to harmonize with my feelings and no one turns every thing askew then I can read, study, think, or dream so smoothly and when a dear sweet thought of you comes in to claim its place - which is a large one - I am not called away to hear long recitals of school troubles or reminded that a certain call is unpaid which things just then have very little interest for me. I hope this is not unpardonably selfish; and presume it is not; for, doubtless Miss. Reed is enjoying her quiet as well as myself. The evening that you were last writing to me I was at Hiram, attending a public Lyceum of the Olive Branch. It was on the whole quite a brilliant affair. Their room was decorated most beautifully, and the exercises were mostly very interesting. I reserved a programme very choicely for you but forgot it when I came back. Friday and Saturday I spent at home, and friday afternoon visited some of the classes in school. They are about closing up another session, and how vividly did the Lyceum - the classes and all that I saw there call up the memories of other days. many long and happy [days] hours have I spent in the Eclectic, and sacred - very sacred is the place they hold in memory. But that "lover chapel" is the room I love the best. It is to me the vestibule of Heaven, and the bright wings of angels seem hovering near when I pass its threshold. Dearest James you know not how golden you have made many hours of my life. and this brightness has been no meteor flash for a [momet] moment lasting, and then to darkness turning; but like the morning's dawn ever brightening ever clearer growing until its rosy flush has turned to dazzling gold, and the glorious sun has risen and from over the eastern hills it shines upon me, kindling with its glad rays my whole being into new life. and may long be the day ere its setting [t] crimson the western sky: yea not until the fires of life have consumed to ashes this frail existence, and the spirit passed away to God who gave it. --- While at home I receiveda paper from "Ellis" of which he is editor "The Western News Boy" is its title. I did not have time to read it when there, and supposed that I had put it in my satchel to bring with me, but it was not there when I got here, so I cannot tell you much about the character of it. Perhaps however you have received a copy. Ann has returned home, I have not yet seen her however nor do I know anything of her affairs. Your paper - the paper you sent, I mean - came yesterday and I was much interested with the description of the visit of the Seniors among the mountains. Doubtless it was a time with you all long to be remembered. I am glad you are studying Hebrew not only for the profit and pleasure it will afford you but because it will please Father. Father and Mother would send you their love were they here, and give my love to your Mother - rather a long way to send it round by Mass. and if it reaches her safely I don't know but it will gain the reputation of being rather portable. Now my own loved James you will find time to write again very soon will you not? and tell, at least after, of those "hundred things" you had to say. unchanged only in love you better I remain entirely your own: Lucretia. P.S. Mrs. Earl imagines that I am writing to you and says "tell him to be a good boy".[*Ravenna*] Williams College. Nov. 10th 1855. Saturday Evening 10 o'clock My Own Darling 'Crete,' Fifteen minutes ago I wrote in my journal as follows: "I am disappointed in not receiving a letter from my own Dear Lucretia this Evening, but though I should not receive one for a month I should know her love is as true as the Sun in the heavens." - - I had just written this and closed the book when a classmate came in from the office bringing me your sweet letter - a Souvenir of [of] the heart. It is most deliciously joyful for my heart to drink in all the love your dear letters bring. Just to night when all the labors of another week are done - and all around is quiet save the distant notes of a flute or guitar - and I alone here in my quiet room - the light [*42*]from my open stove is dancing out and haunting fantastic shapes on the further side of the room & I sitting here indulging in the reveries which their shadowy shapes suggest - and yearning to share them and the scene with you - just at this time it is so inexpressibly sweet to hear from your own true heart Another fond assurance that your heart is all all mine - It is blissful to received a letter from your loved hand at any time, but peculiarly so now. We are revelling in Metaphysics now. I love to flounder in such a sea of strange thoughts as our studies now present - ! But I never treasured so many jewels of thought in twice the time as I am doing now from our powerful and Beloved President, Dr. Hopkins. I am writing almost all he says and will bring it to you when I am done - (Today I have written 13 foolscap pages of his thoughts Last Lord's Day I was in Poestenkill I spoke three times - twice in the Brethrens' house and once in a Free Will Baptist House by invitation. I gave them the Division of the Word and the Letting up of the New Kingdom. for an hour and a half - and the old deacons said it was good Baptist doctrine, but I am afraid they could not adopt it and still hold their places in the F. W. B. fold. The Brethren at Poestenkill are expecting Bro Streator back there next week. He is going to bring his new wife along with him - She was a daughter of Bro Hubbard of Deerfield, perhaps you knew her. She was at Hiram at the beginning of this term - I have just received another letter from the Church in Danbury Ct - soliciting me to spend the coming vacation with them. I think I shall do sobut have not yet decided certainly--- What do you think of the following proposal that has been made to me. I have been offered $1000 per annum to take charge of the High School in the city of Troy N.Y. The Brethren in Troy, Millville & Poestenkill, will between them give me from $400 to $500 per annum to speak for them, thus making from $1400 to $1500 per annum, minus expenses--- The chief difficulty now is that they want me to begin the first of next March which would take me away from College the last half of the year. Another reason against it is that I love the West more than the Orient---How would you like, Dearest, to become, not exactly a Trojan Helen, but a Trojan Lucretia? Tell me all your thoughts about it---Surely this sheet of paper has done but a little toward telling of these "hundred things" and were not the wee hours close at hand I would take another---Give my to your Father and Mother--[and, if you have time and inc.] Now Dearest---I know I shall hear from you right soon, but one sweet kiss of love before we say good night. Heaven bless you Darling--- Ever your own loving James. [*Williamstown Mass*] Ravenna. Nov. 16th, 1855. My Own Loved James:-- Seated in Mrs. Earl's big arm chair drawn in before my fire I was very cozily enjoying the last half of a Friday afternoon engaged with "Peep at Number Five", when a quiet tap at the porch door announced an intruder. It was Oliver. I did not longer think of the intrusion; for [though] I saw from the twinkle of his eye that he had a letter for me. Very cooly depositing his hat upon the table his cane in the corner and settling his "reverence" with all his "ministerial dignity" in my big chair commenced a deliberate search through some half dozen pockets with all the provoking moderation he could summon so it seemed to me. At last a bundle of papers appeared. I could wait no longer but almost impatiently asked if there was a letter for me. After teasing me till he was satisfied he placed in my hand your dear loved letter. I have read - reread, and read it again as I do every sweet message from you and now that he is gone, and I am alone again [*56*]I joyfully sit down and turn my thoughts away to you. and I wonder if you are conscious of my presence. A few weeks since I was sitting one evening with a book before me about half asleep. All at once a thought of you thrilled my soul as though you were present. To my minds eye you were before me seated at the north side of the table on the stool just where you sat the last time we sat together in my rooms; and it was late at night before sleep again made oblivious the bright visions of the Past and the dreams of future bliss. A few days after a letter from you told that, that same evening you were writing to me. It is very sweet to feel sometimes your thoughts are with me, but far sweeter would it be if not only those kind thoughts, but the visible the tangible were present. But fast the waves of time are backward rolling and soon the promised fields of bliss will rise before us and in love's dearest embrace we will meet [upon] amid their enchanted bowers. - The proposal made to you by the "Trojans" I should judge totally fair, still your objections to accepting it are worthy consideration, As I do not know how great would be your sacrifice in being away from college the last half year I can give you very little advice in reference to it, but one thing I fear; that is that the labor of teaching and preaching together with your college studies which of course you will carry on will be too severe a tax upon your health. As for myself I think I might become a "Trojan Lucretia" if the heart of James asked it, though I confess I should hope, to be a Trojan captive might not always be my fate. Decide as duty prompts. I will love you wherever you may be. - When Bro. Streater is married again, I have a slight acquaintance with one of Bro. Hubbard's daughters, but whether it is his wife I do not know. I hope she will be such a wife as he needs. I hope you will go to Danbury vocation, and after I will think of you while engaged in the noblest work to which mortal man is called. and will you not write to me often while there if but a few lines to tell me your success.? A meeting commences here in about a week, and Bro. Evrett is expected with us. Oliver seems a little disheartened just now, His father looks to him dark, but he will tell you all when he writes and you must encourage and comfort him all you can. [I think] He seems to be doing well here, Thebrethren appear pleased with him and I think he is doing good here. If he goes to Bethany I do not know who will fill his place, and am afraid the church will go down lower than it was before he came, Next wednesday our term closes and we have a vacation until the next monday and mine shall be the sweet joy of spending a few days at home again. What a sweet word is “Home”. All the Heaven this world knows is contained in it. - Where, James, dearest, are you reading now? To night I read Psalms 108th & 9th. Are we still together? I have received two letters from friend Pettibone since he went to Ann Arbor. He is enjoying finely his college life and thinks Mich. University just the place just as every other college boy thinks of his College. The Faculty he thinks second to none in America. Rhodes, they tell me has about decided in favor of "Williams". Thank you dear James for the promise of those rich rare jewels of thought which you will bring home to me, many a happy hour does the Future hold up before among the treasures of thought to which dearest. you will lead me. Again my sheet is full, and I must stop. Write again very soon, and tell me your decisions and plans for the future. With purest love and confidence most firm I remain yours most devotedly: Lucretia.Mr. James A. Garfield Williamstown Mass. 57[*Ravenna*] Williams College Mass. Thurs. November 22nd 1855 My Own Darling Crete. "I'm with you once again", and do you feel the impress of my spirit now? When I sit down thus to commune with you. do you know that my whole soul goes out towards you with its strong might of deep affection? No wonder that you felt me beside you. for I felt myself there, with my whole soul. I am sure there is a science of sympathetic communication which metaphysicians have not yet been able to explain, by which loving souls, are sometimes permitted to feel each other's presence - indeed there are many facts on record which go far to support such a doctrine. But let the doctrine be [*43*]what they may. if we can only have the benefit of its practice I am not so solicitous for the theory. And is it a winter night where you are? The mountains & valley[s] are white with snow and the cold white moon & pearly stars are shining brightly on the snow fields. Even now I hear the jingling of the merry bells - "How they tinkle, tinkle, tinkle "On the icy air of night "While the stars that oversprinkle "All the heavens, seem to twinkle "With a crystaline delight" How I would love to nestle down beside you in a sea of buffalo robes and take a drive over these hills to night! With such an accompaniment I am [?] I could say (a few days hence) as the Methodists Sing. "December's as pleasant as May." Did you know that last Monday was my Birth Day? Yes twas another mile stone on the high road of my strange life - And I spent most of the day in reflection and in writing a long letter full of sweet memories to my dear little Mother - I stood aside "to see the phantoms of my childhood days go by me, accompanying the shadow of myself in the dim procession" I saw myself the infant - the healthy child - the wayward boy - the wild reckless stripling - passing through all the rough wild scenes of those dim shadowy days till my heart found yours - and found in it a home sweet home - Such a review gives me new life - new hope - new assurance, and fills my spirit with buoyancy and joy - At such a time, with what an intensity I yearn to clasp you to my heart and feel your ardent kisses of affection thrilling my soul with ecstasy and joy! -Affairs have so turned out that it is not necessary for me to go to Danbury, and having but recently found it out, I do not yet know what I shall do during the coming vacation. I have a good deal of miscellaneous reading to do, and also a debate to prepare for, which will demand a full share of my time. I have been waging a great Warfare against College Secret Societies, this year and they have challenged us to a discussion. We have accepted it and the discussion is to be written out in full and printed in [a] book form - They have chosen three champions and we three and the chief labor is coming upon me - This will give me Enough to do. It is to come off the first or second week of next term - Mr. Albert Pratt was a member of our Anti-Secret Society - & this is another reason why I want to see him. I will tell you more of this hereafter. I shall travel some in vacation but do not yet know where. However, direct your letters as usual & they will be forwarded to me - I shall write to you often as possible - I want to hear from you very often - Why not once a week? With love deep and unchanging I am your own James. [*I send you a better Catalogue in which the Calendar is correct - it was wrong in the other -*][*55*] Ravenna. Friday eve. Nov. 30th /'55. My Heart's Sweetest Love: Now Jamie don't laugh if I say a thousand "sweet" things - equivalent to "silly" - with some people you know: for released from the duties of another week, and by your dear letter called away to you, my spirit like an unwinged bird fairly dances upon the wing with delight, and away it darts with the swiftness of thought to its home within your bosom where it nestles so quietly beneath your protecting eye. O, it is such a Heaven of bliss to be loved by you. And dearest do you really think that I am your "wife"! For a certain anonymous writer in his "Theory about wives." says every man is married - has his wife whether recognized by the law or not; or whether he may have ever seen her or not or ever will see her. moreover he thinks very few ever find their wives. He has seen [*55*] I shall finish reading "Psalms" next monday evening. Dec. 3d .are we still together? Thank you for the Catalogues you sent.four matches which he thinks were made in Heaven and considers that a rare peice of luck - to have seen four. Well doubtless the man is half right about it, and I will not quarrel with him if he will only pronounce ours the fifth. Ours shall be one made by the bright ones above shall it not dearest? And it is if in the love my heart so freely and spontaneously gives you [can] find that completeness of happiness which your love bestows upon me.-- It is again vacation with you, and where may you be this evening? Above in your rooms with your thoughts released from labor turning away to "your hearts home"? If so you are welcomed with my sweetest kiss. Mrs. Earl has furnished the room you occupied when here, and it is now mine, and how I love every inch of it, and how I [have] wish you would come and sit down here by me to night and hold me in your arms and talk to me again and let me feel the magic thrill of a kiss: but you cannot come yet I suppose. "Old Williams" still claims you, and I suppose would like to make me believe that you love her better than me. I do not believe a word of it however. You did not give me any of your decisions for the future in your last; and perhaps you are yet undecided as to the course you will take. I almost hope so for I want to put in one more plea for the "dear old Eclectic". Have you yet heard of the Bethany affair? If not you will be somewhat surprised to hear that almost all our Northern students have left there. Our friend Burns in a sermon two weeks ago last Sunday evening attended to the slavery system, and pronounced the word "emancipation", whereupon many of the Southerners rushed for the house and forming a mob raised all the disturbance possible during the remainder of the discourse, and having provided themselves with a chain were assembled at the door to seize him when he came out and take him to the river and "re baptize" him; but his Northern friendssurrounded him and he passed out unseen and unharmed The boys all determined they would not enter their classes again until some notice was taken of such proceedings by the Faculty. They did take notice of it, but to reprimand Mr. Burns and the rest for leaving their classes, rather than the mob; and one of their honorable body - Pendleton very kindly and politely told them - in the presence of all the Students that they were not very fine specimens of northern humanity only beardless boys and ordered them back to their classes, but honor to them - they were gentlemen enough to leave such a rascally place and every body here even "Uncle Symonds" says that if our Northern students cannot graduate at Bethany why then there must be a place provided for them in the North; and they begin to feel that now is the time to do something for the Eclectic. The school is starting off with prospects very flattering this winter. There has never been a finer appearing set of students for a winter session before, Miss. Booth is feeling in the best of spirits and so are all the other teachers. But Bro. Munnell has left them and Mr. Willier you know is no advantage, and now they need you there. I know you may do better pecuninarily in some other place now, but if the Eclectic ought to rise, and [and] there is any chance for it to do so, I feel as though each one who can, and feels an interest in her prosperity should lend all the aid they can; unless they are very sure they can do much more good in some other place. - Now James will you not write to me very often and tell me all you are doing? Bro. Everett commences a meeting here this evening but I had several calls to make and conceded to spend the remainder of the evening with you: After this hour I shall attend all I can. - If you should ever get another peep at my "Journal" you may find out whether I remembered your birth day or not. This is the last day of another Autumn and Old Winter is fast binding upon us his icy fetters, but nothing like staring yet. Now my loved James fold me to your heart once more and one more kiss, and I will love you for a few days more. Loving you as ever: Lucretia. P.S. One thing I had forgotten. O.P. says tell you that he will write soon, and another, I received a letter from Charles a few days since and he says that he can only keep you within proper bounds by threatening a "report". What are you doing so bad! Lou[*Ravenna*] Poestenkill, Rens. Co. N. Y. Saturday Dec. 8th 1855. My Own Dear Lucretia. It is now ten minutes past midnight, but I cannot seek my pillow without a few sweet words with you. "My ownest own" one. I received a packet of six letters today. Confidently expecting a dear one from you but it did not come - But if you are not ill, I know it must be somewhere on the way. Our term closed one week ago last Tuesday, and on Wednesday I came here. Since which time I have divided the days, between here, Troy & Millville at which latter place Bro W. W. Clayton is holding a series of meetings. I have accepted the invitation of Sister Learned & her husband (see 3rd page) [*44*]rather write a new one, but I must leave for Troy Early Monday morning and tomorrow I have got to speak. I have just been having a little visit with Bro. Streator's wife. She knows you and perhaps you know her. She saw us the day we visited Hiram together, when we went to Bro. Hayden's & Raymond's. It seemed as if I were in Hiram again to talk with one so lately there and who knew all the little items of news that I wanted to hear - She seems to be a noble good woman and a good wife for Bro. Streator. He is slowly regaining his health, but he is still very feeble - But darling tis late at night and I must sleep. If I could clasp you, my dearest one, to my heart before I say Good night, I should be content - But let me forget there is a legion of cold blast between us and kiss you once befor I sleep With the fondest love I am, My Dear Crete, you own, James. 2 to spend a good share of my vacation with them, for I have nearly worn myself out with the much labor of the past term. They have one of the pleasantest homes here I ever saw. and are most excellent & affectionate people. Sister L sends her love to you. What adds a special attraction for me is the fact that Mrs. L. has a young lady friend here from Connecticut who resembles you very much and reminds me of you constantly. I have been reading Kingsley's "Alton Locke" & Tennyson's Poems with her and have enjoyed it very much. She is so much like you that I like her. Mr. L. carries on the lumber business in Troy, and I have been there with him a part of the past week, assisting in his business writing, for the sake of aiding him and making myself generally useful!! I shall probably remain here a week or two longer &3 then visit New York & Boston. I must try and find something on the Subject of our Discussion, of which I wrote you in my last, I think. I shall write to you often wherever I may be. I am very much to blame in reference to our Bible readings. I forgot to mention about it in my last letter. And I made a bungling business of it when I did mention it last. I have been reading (since the last time I wrote about it) on the principle of one chapter if it contained 20 verses or more, and if the first did not contain 20, then read two--but never more than two Chapters--In two or three days travelling and no conveniences, I have lost my place and now I want you to tell me where it is and I will go on just as you say hereafter---So here's bungling enough for one job---but hold this letter itself is a worse bungle still. In my sleepy headedness I skipped a page--I would rewrite the whole or-- (see 2nd page)[*Poestenkill N.Y.*] Ravenna. Dec 12 1855. My Own Loved James: About half an hour since I took from the office your last dear message and hasten with a glad heart to respond. I am glad you are again enjoying a few days of rest, and that such a pleasant home has invited you to its bosom. There are bright sunny spots all over this world, where kindness and love make - not minature Heavens - but real Heavens, and I rejoice that in Bro. Leonard's family you have found such an one. Give my love to Sister L. Gladly would I place upon her dear lips a kiss not only for her kindness to you, my Love, but for her own sweet spirit which prompts such kindness. My love also to the young lady there whom you say you "like"; why did you not say love dearest? for I know you do love her and surely you may, and every [*54*]other lady who is good whether [they are] she is like me or not. I wish I could find some one here like you; it would be such a pleasure to sit down and hear them talk. I am sure I should love them. Mr. Rhodes is the most like you of any one I can find, and it does my soul good when I am at Hiram to grasp his hand, and enjoy a little chat with him. O.P. is a right good friend; and a kind brother still our spirits are not very congenial, and I sometimes fear I do not prize his friendship as highly as I ought. He is wanting that manly strength and independence of character which I love. He is lively and agreeable and I spend some very pleasant hours with him but there is not that solidity which I want as a foundation for a strong friendship; You know frailty needs a firm support, and with all my indecision and weakness I need to find in others a super abundance almost of decisive energy and strength or else I cannot respect, or confide in, their judgement consequently cannot love them very ardently. - A week ago this evening Philip called and a very pleasant visit I had with him. I can scarcely realize that he is that same Philip Burns that came to H - three years ago. He is making a noble man and I have now a great deal of friendship for him though the time was when I regarded him very differently. - I have been reading "Lalla Rookh" and some of Moore's "Miscellaneous Poems" and have never before found anything containing such inexpressible sweetness [before]. Each Poet seems to possess some characteristic peculiarly his own. Tennyson is all music - Longfellow all pathos - Smith all fire and glory - Milton all sublimity and Willis all beauty; but the quintessence of all sweetness belongs most undeniably to Thomas Moore. In refference to our Bible reading I hope we may not always find it so difficult to keeptogether. I have always read as many as 20 verses consequently sometimes 3 or even 4 chapters. Have finished Psalms, and commenced Matthew; and this evening - Dec. 12th - shall read the 9th chapter. One chapter each evening is the amount I read. Now if you lose your place again perhaps I shall say as the "school-marm" sometimes says "next". - I sent you a letter a week ago last Saturday which should have reached you before last Saturday I should think; but I presume you have it ere this, and I hope to get an answer soon. We have a vacation during the holidays which I shall spend at home. Now James dearest will you not send a letter to me while there? It will be so sweet to receive another letter from you at home, and to sit down in my own dear little room and answer it. Do not forget that New Years eve we are each to write again. With many a kind wish for your success in the discussion you are about to engage in which I shall hope to see soon, and many thanks for the "Quarterly", and my fondest love to you I must close. One kiss and one fond embrace then Goodnight. Your Own: LucretiaPoestenkill. Rens. Co. N.Y. Wednesday Eve. Dec 19th/58 My Own Loved Crete. Your two dear, sweet letters have reached me and about at the same time. The one went via Williamstown and the other came here. and there being but two mails a week here I have been deprived of your loved messages longer than I otherwise should; but here they are and in double portion - and all the mirrors of your own dear self your true loving heart. What a full and joyous answer to the only doubt I ever had, all your dear letters give to me! Surely you never wrote me such very dear letters before my visit in your little room at Mrs Earl's. Oh I am sure that that evening took away the last [*45*] [*sent you a copy of Cousin Ellis' paper yesterday.*]remaining vail that hung between our spirits, and now we stand in the strong full light of Each other's love. The chambers of my soul are all wide open to you, and there is not a heart throb that does not send gushing out upon the purple tide the warmest love for you. And I also feel assured that you heart is all open to m. Oh that is my great joy. If I thought there was one portal of it that closed at my approach I should be an Exile from my home. The sentiments expressed in your last letter I most cordially endorse. You ask me why I did not say "love" instead of "like". I should have said "love" if I had written a few days later, for I found that young lady (Rebecca I. Selleck) truly a noble and lovely spirit. No, true love is not that selfish, jealous Exclusive affection which is willing to recognize no merit but its own, but the Expansive and generous Expression of that affection which the honest heart must confess it cherishes for all congenial and loving hearts. Yes, you are all the more dear to me when I know that you love noble men and women wherever God has blessed the Earth with them. In Rebecca I find another dear loved Sister for us both and we would have brothers also. Let us both search for them, for we know that Earth has few enough that we can truly call Brothers & Sisters; and how much more of completeness will the joys of life have when one gains such choice spirits to become a part of the hearts households. It would give me such joy if you could be here and form the acquaintance of those that are here. I know they would all send their love to you if they knew I was writing to you. I know I need to make no apology for showing your last letter to Sister S. (I call her Maria) for really I wanted her to know you better than she did. In reference to our Scripture readings I hope I am now right. To-night the 16th of Matthew, and one chapter each evening, be it longer or shorter - Now for a fair start, and will read our chapter together when we first meet. Your plea for Hiram has much weight with me, and I shall certainly give it a place in making the decision as to where I shall teach. I have not yet visited the High School in Troy, but shall probably do so before I leave here. I now expect to leave for New York one week from to day. If you get this so as to write within [eight] six days from now direct to New York City. Perhaps I'll write my New Year's letter on the ocean. And so you are at home again with the dear ones. Give my love to them all. and let me hear from you right soon. With the warmest affection I am as Ever Your own James. [*If you should not write till after six days direct to Boston Mass --*][*NewYorkNY*] "Home,Sweet Home" Sunday evening, Dec 23rd /'88. My Own Love: How inexpressibly sweet it is to sit down again - right here - in my own dear home, in my own little room where I have penned so many letters for your dear eyes, and write again words for those same eyes. This has ever been a sweet pleasure to me, but far sweeter now than ever before. When I last sat here and wrote to you I was not yours. True I loved you as I as I had never loved before and felt that I was loved in return: but of that sweet confidence - that entire trust - that perfect oneness with you, that I now feel, I was entirely ignorant. My spirit yearned most intensely for something I knew not what - could give no expression to it, and yet it seemed that I must obtain it or die. I shall never [*53*]forget that walk to meet cousin Mary last summer. The very blackness of despair seemed settling down upon my soul forever, and to tell you the truth James, I almost wished I could die Hope was dead - so I thought - and why should I live, and dearest in that darkness I should have lived forever - never have known perhaps what my spirit sought, if you had not come right to my prison door, broken its strong bars, and turning it upon its rusty hinges, entered, and lifted my spirit from its dismal resting place and borne it out into the glad free sunlight of Heaven. Then I knew it was freedom I had sought. Freedom from myself. Freedom from pride and cold distrust. Freedom to go away to your warm large heart, and rest confidingly in its bosom of love. And my dear, my darling James I can never tell, only with the tear of joy and gratitude, how sweet my life has all become within its fond fond home - you heart. To you perhaps your last visit seems but in the natural course of events and to the eye of the world there was nothing miraculous connected with it: but to my heart it bears the revealings of a Providential hand more strikingly than any other event of my life; and with a consciousness of that perfect and entire bliss which it brought home to my soul I write to you this evening, and believe me, dearest. there is no avenue to my heart even if it be closed that does not open at your approach rather than close .- I am enjoying my visit at home very much. We have no boarders this term except Harvey and he is one of the family you know. How I wish you were here to spend the week with us. Mr. Hayden and Miss. Booth are going down to Columbus to attend the Teacher's State Convention this week, and Miss Booth wanted I should go with them, but my vacation is so short that I feel much more inclined to stay at home with the "dear ones" than to go there although it will be very interesting doubtless, also profitable. Have you receivedOliver's letter yet? I do not know what to think of all his ideas. Allow me to caution you against interesting yourself very much in his affairs. His principal object never without much doubt, is to find a "wife" pretty and rich, the latter qualification quite essential. I am afraid it was this that influenced him in his choice of "Marcia" more than any love for her; but when he went to the great city of "Ravenna" he thought something else would be necessary to give him "popularity", [and] so he could not "love" her any longer. Perhaps this is hard judgement but I feel a little inclined at present to think it correct, and I don't want you to use your influence in securing another wick to his caprice. I could not conscientiously recommend him to anyone, Let him find out for himself whether he loves or not, and then I think he will be prepared to recommend himself. I am getting better acquainted with him since I have been in Ravenna than ever before, and confidentially my opinion of him is not any changed for the better. Perhaps I ought not to say this; for I know we are all faulty creatures, and I suppose we should try and pass over the failings of others: but somehow I cant like him very well, although he is very kind to me. I am reminded that I must stop talking again and wait for a response, which I hope to receive very soon. Will you not write as soon as you receive this? Do not wait until New Years eve; for it will be a long time before I shall hear again if I do you do. You have the love of all the family especially mine. We are now together in our reading. Thank you for the paper you sent [?Edith?], yes one thing I have been forgetting to remind you of this long time. I have not yet received that promised representative of yourself [as yet] How much longer must I wait? One kiss, then good night, dearest. Fondly yours. Lucretia. A merry Christmas to you and a very happy New Year, pardon me though I am ahead of the times. L.[*Ravenna*] West Troy. New York. Dec. 31st 4 3/4 o'clock. 1855. Lucretia, My Own Darling, Seated in a freezing cold chamber, I again lift my pen to talk to you of the dying Year and the Expectant one. And I know you too are seated by your table to speak to me through the "silent medium." And is it not a fitting time for our hearts to hold sweet communion once more? The quaint, good-natured Charles Lamb says "Every man has two birth days; two days at least in every year, which set him upon revolving the lapse of time. The one is that, which in an especial manner he termeth his. The other, the New Year is that from which all date their time and count upon what is left. It is the maturity of our Common Adam." And now Dearest, on this our common birth-night let us sit [*46*] [*Franklin House N.Y. City, January 1st 1856. The P.O. is not open today and so I can neither get your dear letter nor mail this till tomorrow. James.*]down lovingly together and listen to the voice of the Old Year before he dies. Already is his breath short and feeble and his life-pulse will throb but a few times more. But his words have been registered in our hearts and we can read them when he is gone. But we will call him before us and listen to his dying testimony. To my heart he has spoken words of joy, words of hope, of high and holy comfort. He has unvailed to me the richer treasures of your own dear heart and given me the Strongest assurance of your deep and fervent love. He has matured and intensified the love that my heart cherished toward you. From my soul I thank him for this. He has also given me some few new and dear friend here in this land of strangers, and for that I should Enshrine him in my heart had he done nothing more. He has however, given me many lonely hours and many heart aches, and though they have sometimes saddened, I hope they have never cankered it. But in return for these privations, he has introduced me to many new and glorious fields of thought, in which I hope to roam & gather much fruit in coming years. But hark, the solemn toll of the midnight bell is sounding through the village the dirge of the Dead Year. He is gone with all his train of lights and shadows, joys and sorrows left only for the memory to cherish and the heart to love. But the heart bounds and the pulse beats quicker as the path of 1856 begins to open to the view. Tis true that the mist that shrouds all futurity, hangs over it, but Hope throws in her tints of roseate hue, and weaves bright visions along down the rolling months. It promises (does it not, Dearest?) to put you close to my heart before it leaves us. Will it not, shall it not mingle thecurrents of our lives still run! But I will not dream too much. There are stern questions of duty to be met and settled and acted upon before this Year is gone. Over All this hangs the uncertainty of life and all the unseen Providences that the All-Wise Father has prepared---I Enter upon this year with a good measure of faith and hope and Courage, and with some strength of heart for the life-work that lies before me. My Own Darling, May the Love of our merciful God, preserve You Safely during all the changes of the coming year. Should the Silent angel claim ?? your loving James ere the Year is done, you may know, as you read this letter, one year from to night, that the heart that indi?ed it went out toward your own with all the power of its love, and while it throbs and feels it is all Your own. Hoping to hear from You tomorrow when I reach N.Y. City, I am all Thine own James.[*Williamstown Mass*] Home. Dec 31st. 1855. 11 o'clock P.M. My own My Fondest loved: One by one the last moments of another year are silently dropping off into Eternity, and with the thousand starry eyes that keep their watch around his dying couch we too will linger and seal upon his cold brow a sweet memory of our spirit's union. One year ago I sat where now I sit beside the same table with my hand engaged as now tracing words for you, while my thoughts wandered away to your bosom, and my spirit held fond communion with yours. Together we saw the old year die and with one heart bade the new year welcome. It smiled upon us at its birth, and has followed us with smiles through all its course, and dying smiles upon us now. To have been the shadows "looking over the shoulder of the sunshine" its hours have bought. and with kind and gentle thoughts shall its memory ever be cherished. To me it has brought the opening [*52*] [*Harvey sends his love.*]of a new and bright era in my history - the fading away of many gloomy shadows, and the waking from a dream of happiness to its glad realization. I know that I have failed in carrying out all those resolutions for the year that I then made still without boasting I can say that I have not entirely failed. Now where are you dearest? Tossing upon the billow or seated quietly beside some glowing hearth? Wherever you may be I know that you are with me in spirit, and upon my lips I almost feel the fond kiss your ardent love there places. James you have often asked me when I first began to love you. Memory is a strange sprite and plays strange pranks with us sometimes. [The] A few days since she turned out a little incident which she had kept concealed a long long time; but as it danced out from its hiding place it approached with an air so familiar that one might have thought it belonged to yesterday, and I could not but wonder that it could [so long] have kept out of my sight so long. Do you recollect the second exhibition of the Eclectic? Well. I was passing behind the stage rather carelessly when stepping into a hollow I came near falling. A pair of strong arms received me and looking around my eyes met yours as you held me there. Do not start James - I did not know that I loved you then, although a strange wild delight thrilled my soul as I darted quickly away, and forgot it all almost as quickly as done. I little thought those arms were to receive me for life; but was it not almost prophetic? The fire is about out and I am shivering with the cold, and [I] must not write any longer. A very happy New Year to you, and when it has grown old and ready to die may it still find enjoying all the true happiness Earth can give. With my kiss upon your lips let the New year dawn. Good night my own dear love. New Year's evening, 1856. This morning when I woke the bright sun had arisen and the cold white earth was flooded with his golden light, and with an unclouded brow all day long he has smiled a welcome to the new-born year, but to my heart it has been but a cold and cheerless glare. The very first gleam of the sunshine that met my eyesent a sickening sensation to my soul which I had no power to struggle against nor scarcely any will. I know not why I am at times so foolishly weak. I seem to lose all self control and yield to a fit of despondency for which there is not the least cause. Do you ever get the "blues"? If so you know how the day has passed with me. All the morning I spent reading "Shady Side" which did not contribute very much to the removal of the terrible malady. This afternoon I visited the school hoping to drive it away or lose it but all to no effect and came home feeling worse than ever, but it has passed away this evening as noiselessly as it came and I am again just as happy as ever. My vacation has all passed very pleasantly and tomorrow bright and early I am away to my school again hoping to find a dear letter from you there. Now dearest will you not write very often this year? write very frankly and fully and trust me as entirely with you in "thought word and deed". I will try and withhold nothing from you. It is my wish and aim to learn to confide in you as in myself. To feel no more fear in confiding every thought to you than in thinking them. Such is the intimacy my heart asks should exist between us. Go more now changing only to love you better every day I am Your Lucretia [*P. S. Little boys are fond of pictures. I send one to please you when out of humor. L. Dont criticize however; for it was a peice altogether beyond my capability, I exerted without a teacher.*][**Williamstown Mass**] Ravenna. Sat. eve. Jan 5th 1'56. James. My Own: Again in my Ravenna home with your last dear letter before me. How sweet it is that there is on just one and only one to write me such letters full of warm devoted love. That there is one within whose heart is hoarded such a wealth of affection for me. That there is one the first, the last, and only one to whom I may unbosom my whole heart without a fear. It is this that makes all my life a joy, and my whole spirit vocal with praise, and may Heaven spare me from that hour when it can be said it is no longer mine. James, dearest, think not your work of life done until holding me in your arms you watch the last expiring spark of life and see it die. When you have felt the last throb of my heart, then you may close your eyes upon [*93*] [*P. S. To night i read the fifth chapter of Mark. Are we still together? L.*]life and together our spirits will go home to Heaven. But go not before me, Love and not one hour, one moment to the terrible consciousness that I live without you. True there is no sorrow Earth can bring which the Christian's hope may not soothe but I know not how I could bear to feel the sad truth that you were dead brought home to my heart. I will not think of it. It will not be so. We have entered the snowy portals of 1856, and slowly is the curtain raising which has hid it from our view; and one by one its scenes appear before us, and are passing away, what they may all prove or know not. Hope promises much, perhaps it may be realized. You have, dearest, the response my heart beats to all your queries. You know it will be a sweet hour of my existence when I am taken to your heart forever, still it is a joy that I have never brought home to my heart as real and which I almost doubt will ever seem true even when realized. I can look upon it as a bright vision veiled in the mist of the far off future, and there it is a sweet pleasure to contemplate it, so hidden that only its glory and beauty, appear and they so softened that the eye may never [????y] in its gaze: but to look upon it as a truth, a reality right before me I cannot, it is so strange so new such an entire change of my whole existence. It seems to me a death to all my former life: a sundering of all the ties that bound my heart in its childhood home. True the same parents will be mine, the same dear brothers and sisters, but I shall not be one with them as I am now. Their home will no longer be mine. The sweet relations of daughter and sister must be superseded by others new and untried. But I fear I am writing down my thoughts and feelings too unreservedly. I fear you will not understand me. Do not think, dearest, that my heart shrinks from the home that will make me all your own. O no: it bounds away in glad throbs toward it: still there is no cup of joy with which there is not mingled one drop of sadness, and the sweeter the cup the more oflife's bitterness it holds.--- This year to you will be an eventful one. The preparatory course of your life will end, and into the great "work-world" you must enter to commence a life of action of labor, and may your strength and courage fail not nor faith nor hope grow dim: and may the wisdom of our Divine Father guide you into that course where all your powers may be employed for the greatest good. I would love to sit by you a little while and listen to your plans, and look with you down the streams of time to their consummation and know all your hopes and expectations : but not now is it permitted. Will you not write however very freely? I know you will; and very often too. Let us beguile the hours of their tedium by many sweet spirit communings. I send this letter to Williams as I did the last: for I do not know where you may be now. I hope you go back soon, so that I may hear again soon. You once asked me to sketch you a portrait of your character. If you can discover it in the included lines, I shall expect the return you promised - a portrait of mine. As ever all you own most lovingly: Lucretia.To James. 'Twas eve; and lighted was the festive hall And merrily the voice of innocence And mirth rang out upon the star-gemmed night From happy hearts that now were gathered there. But 'twas no scene where Bacchus vine-crowned god Of revels rules the hour, or pleasures soft Voluptuous queen her golden scepter sways. No; 'twas a scene of purer truer joy- This meeting of young hearts to consecrate A parting hour, ere to their waiting homes They hie away from classic shades where led By wisdom's gentle hand they oft had strayed And tasted oft her proffered fruits. Call not Earth all desolate and barren save Of thorns-a wild and dreary waste. Call not This life all darkness, gloom, and woe; for there Are flowers that bloom in every path, and e'er The thorn a rosy garland wears; and there Are sunny spots in life where friendship sheds [*94*]Her fragrance sweet, and love ope's to the light Her soft, and blushing petals. Such an hour Was this. Come with soft step and with me seek Your dimly lighted hall. There where a tall White column was its stately form behold A youth. We saw him as he mingled with The happy throng-joy beaming in his eye And gladness from his heart outgushing as He spake to all kind words and smiled upon Them warmly. Quietly from out their midst He now has stolen; here, where reigns the hush Of shadowy eve, to spend the passing hour. But has he turned away from friendship's smiles To pass this sacred hours alone? Ah, no. Upon his breast a maiden gently leans; His arm around her fondly and her hand Within his own. No smile is parting now His lips hove're. No word he speaks; but o'er Hi brow thoughts glad, now troubled come and go Like shadows of the clouds that chase the bright Glad sunshine o'er the smiling fields of May. Though young his life had strange reverses known And many a page of sorrow had to him Familiar grown, upon which others, though Far older never yet had looked. In youth His life had been a wild and wayward course. Impulse his master fierce, and will the guide Directing all his steps. On, on he rushed In mad and reckless haste the downward way; His giant powers of intellect fast bound; His lofty spirit smothered in his breast. But slowly kindling were ambition's fires Which soon with quenchless ardor glow within Hi breast, and melt his spirit's shackels off; And free it upward soars on eagle flight. Act pausing e're where common minds rest down Content; but proudly rising ever. Now The world's cold breath of scorn, which chilled his soul When first its wing was plumed for flight, was turned To praise, and proudly flashed his eye as o'er Him came the thought how far beneath him all Her cruel hate had sunken, and how rich The well-earned gifts of friendship that were all His own. But mid these priceless offerings sweet Had found his heart the pearl it evermore Was seeking!--One pure heart which from its depths of love would smile his spirits sings, back Unchanged! --For he was mortal yet: and, though When in his matchless might he soared above Was asked for sweet companionship, nor thought of friend however dear; still earthbound must His wearied pinions sometimes stoop. And then As thirst the flowers for morning dew, which pale And wither if 'tis not bestowed so did His spirit thirst for love's sweet fountains; or As seeks the prisioned plant for light, so sought His spirit for the light of love to cheer And guide. A gem with diamond brilliance once Had flashed upon his sight, and in his wild Impetuous boyishness he clasped it to His breast "Eureka" crying. So he looked Howe'er upon its dazzling light, to see It brighter grow, his eye grew dim and from His sight its luster faded all; and sad He turned away and said 'tis but a dream of fevered ?any's brain. There is no love 5 Unchanging, bright, and pure that Earth may know. But still his spirit's yearnings would not cease, And Hope's bright pinion fluttered o'er him once Again, as gleamed upon him from afar A pale dim light. He watched it trembling lest It die. Nor dared approach lest when within His grasp 'twould lose its radiance like his gem. Long, long he looked upon that flickering flame And gazing saw it brighter steadier grow. -- 'Tis she within whose bosom like a star 'Tis set this one he holds in fond embrace. And as he turns his eye upon her [mute?] And calm - not even trembling though so near His heart he holds her chilling doubt yet asks If this is more than friendship's light: for there's No love so seeming cold and passionless His ardent nature knows. - A vision bright The Poet with every smile and treasured look Of love before him rises. - Nearer to his heart His heart he draws her - Folds her to breast And o'er her bending whispers love, and seals It with a kiss upon those lips which from [*95*]The heart now trembling like the aspen leaf Back echo all his lips dare utter. Bright Angels hovering near their lips unite And locked in love's embrace, their golden wings They spread, and rise to Heaven's pearly gates.[*Ravenna*] Adams House. Boston, Mass. 11 o'clock, Monday Eve. Jan 7th, 1856. My Own Fondest Loved. Though I have already written two letters to you since I have received one from your dear heart, yet I cannot seek my pillow till I talk with you a little. Did you know, Dearest, that there was never so much space between us before? Can it be that almost a thousand miles of drifting snows and howling tempests are between us! My heart is lonely tonight. I have been walking this evening, along the streets of this thickly peopled city. And beholding the forms of suffering and wrecked humanity entering and issuing from the numberless dens of vice and iniquity. I have been gazing also upon the princely marble palaces, where dwell the rich and proud, and among all the thousands around me there is not one throb of affection or sympathetic tenderness that meets me. It is such a strange [*49*]and chilling thought, that should I die here there would be no one among them to miss me or shed a tear of sorrow over my death. At such an hour as this, I love to sit down and acknowledge again how earnestly and fondly my heart turns away to you as the only one that can know all my heart and receive the full title of its affection. O if I could clasp you to my heart tonight I should not ?eck the ??om nor the cold world around me. Strange it is that I who in the world of busy labor am counted so strong, perhaps even bold and brave, should at such an hour as this be so utterly dependent. I left at Poestenkill Maria's sweet home of warm glad sunshine, and now by contrast the world seems more chill than ever. But think not Darling that I fear the world or shrink from the battle. No, No, I love to stand where the battle rages most and where the strongest foes are contending As a warrior I have some strength, but as a pilgrim I am oh how weak. I have been visiting places of interest today. Bunker Hill Monument, Faneuil Hall, the State House, and many places of historic interest. I would fain tell you of them but the coal has fallen to the lowest bar in the grate beside me, and the fatigue of the last week demands that I rest. The day of the month indicates my chapter in Mark [??????????] reading. I shall leave here [?????????????]lenl?. Forever Thine Own James. Williamstown. Jan. 10th 1856. My Own One, Last Evening I reached my old room and found among the 14 letters awaiting me Your own dear New Years gift. Your letters all make me so glad and happy, because they are so much like your own sweet self. How sweet to my heart that sentence of yours that you wish to tell me your whole heart. How much my spirit needs just that. Dearest I hope that it may be even so. That affection cannot I ask [**Then laugh and be happy In sunshine and storm, For if you hug sorrows They'll come in a storm So push away trouble, And laugh while you man, For laughing is music To drive "blues" away.**] isfy which Krepe back part of the price, which had chambers in the heart where the loved one may not enter. If I know my own heart's voice there is no portal to my heart which does not fly open gladly at your approach. Dearest let me tell you how proud I am of you for that beautiful description of the sweet little Event which I had forgotten till you told me of it. I remember also that "wild thrill of delight" I felt when my arms were supporting such a treasure. Little did I then think, that the treasure would ever be mine. I believe that no one loves such little incidents more than I do. They speak an unstudied, unaffected and spontaneous language, which is always more heart-revealing than all the art of conversation can afford. Nothing that you write comes near to the "founts of feeling" within me, than those dear little incidents and remembrances that are the tale of our early and later love. I reached Springfield Tuesday Eve and after spending the night there, came on and reached here last evening. The work of the term (14 weeks) is before me. B???her says of the New Year, "God hath wiped out the past and robed the Earth in snow, on which to commence the record of the New Year: May Heaven grant that its lines of sorrow may be few, and may its hand fall gently upon you My Darling, and bring to you only blessings and joy. I hope you have already written to me an answer to my New Year's Eve letter, for I cannot bear to wait a week till I hear from you again. We are commencing again the "Philosophy of the Human Mind", and have recited our first lesson this morning. Hoping to hear from you very very soon, I am forever your own loving James. Many thanks for your drawing--In return I fsend you a belated poem on the "Blues"--Please don't have them, when you read it--- [*Williamston Mass*] Ravenna. Jan. 14th / '56 My Dear James: This evening I refused a sleighride home although the snow is very deep and only a poor path so that I might stop at the Post Office and see if there was not a letter there. Sure enough there was one and the first glance told from whence it came. Then I would have been repaid a thousand times for any walk even if the snow had been two feet deeper. Hastening home and getting myself and every thing around me into just the order to harmonize best with my feelings I drew a chair before the fire and sat down to unlock the sweet treasures your letter contained and take them home to the dearest place in my heart. James can you know how I love your letters? Next to yourself I love them for they are a part of yourself. [*96*]I am glad you are back in your Williams home again. When you are traveling I never know where you are and my spirit feels a sort of loneliness as though you were lost to me; but when I know that you are in your own room I can go right to you put my arms around your neck and place a kiss right — right — among the "whiskers" to be sure upon your very lips and although you may be all unconscious of my presence still it is a sweet pleasure for it makes me feel that you are still mine Then you did not get the letter I sent to New York: although it was mailed a week and a half before you went there. The idea of its being sent on to "Washington" does not impress me very favorably; but what troubles me more than anything else just now, is, that the [first ?] I sent to remind you that I had never received that "whiskered portrait" should be lost. I am afraid I shall never get it now. — James dearest how much I thank you for those dear words which tell me how fondly your heart turns to me. I first loved you — love you more and ever shall love you for that strength so earnest and active which has ever characterized you; but it is not that which makes me one with you. O, no, that would place between us everlasting separation. It is that strong affection which makes you so dependant upon the love of others, that has bound any sort to yours. And your weakness is my strength; Her woman's power say they lies wholy in her influence over the affections of others, and the more dependant upon my love your heart becomes the greater is the power given me to effect your happiness. Heaven grant that here I may never again fail; for it is my sweetest earthly joy to know that my love to your heart brings happiness complete. Truly love you said that the little [incidents ?] are the truest heart revelers.How often is my whole being thrilled with a new delight at the remembrance of a word or look bestowed when I supposed you were all anothers. Never shall I forget a pair of eyes I met as once I looked up from a hard sentence somewhere in the fore port of the Greek Grammar to read the teachers opinion of our translation[s]. For a moment my heart trembled: but instantly I put far away that wicked thought that James cherished the least thought for me other than a sisterly regard. Little did I dream that I was to live in the light of those eyes forever — I have not heard from home since I last left there; but from the last week's paper I learn that our church has been burned. It will be quite a loss to them surely, and I am afraid it will make them feel rather discouraged. — Thank you a thousand times for that little poem — a cure for the "Blues"— When I feel any of the symptoms, I will apply the remedy; however reading the prescription will generally be sufficient I think. But I must stop again to take heart, when you get tired of my everlasting talk you must keep me reaching all the time. We are still together in our reading. — One embrace and kiss and then I will say to my [remembrance ?] Heaven guard and keep you ever, dearest, is the prayer of Your own: Lucretia.[*Ravenna*] Williams College Mass. Saturday Eve Jan 19th 1856 Lucretia Dearest. Your very dear letter was received one week ago just as I had written one to you, and that fact together with an unusual degree of business for the past four days has caused to be delay thus long. My health is now very good, and, I am regularly and fully installed into my work for this term. That long talked of discussion has caused much excitement during the past week and our opponents have withdrawn from the contest on the very eve of battle. They give no good reasons for doing, and they evidently afraid to do so. So much had been by way of preparation, and so many materials collected that it seems not best to loose the advantage gained over this great evil in College. Hence the Anti- Society have requested me to take [*48*]the subject up at length and into a book upon it. Several large publishing houses in New York City are desirous of undertaking the publication of it as soon as the manuscript can be prepared. So the probability is that your Jimmy will be running the gauntlet of public criticism in the course of three or four months. The subject is an important one that affects the interests of a student for life and if the thing is rightly handled I think it may do much good. My, Dearest One, let me stop right here and thank you a thousand times for that very sweet dear poem you sent me. I do feel more proud of you every day, and if possible love you better. I might criticise some of the thoughts such as the extreme modesty in speaking of the "faint light" for you know 'twas never faint itself though it was distant somewhat. But I haven't succeeded in saying it just as I wanted to & so I not try any longer. I have a little sketch nearly done, which I will send in this letter if I can complete it in time for the mail. Do you know, dearest, how I revel in the land of sweet memories, and linger over a thousand dear little things you have said to me: Some poet has said beautifully: "There are hours of excellence that play round the heart Like zephyrs of summer at evenings chill hour. As bright spirits of pleasure, that come and depart, Yet hold us enthralled with their magical power." "Every thought is recalled, every word, every look Every scene that has gladdened our mutual gaze, Every hour we have passed, every pleasure partook In fragments of memory sweetly raise: "Like the zephyrs of evening that play round the brow, And kiss from my temples the lum???er heats glow, Like a beacon that shineth. Hope's laugh o'er the sea Comes from words of affection Lucretia to me!! Your thoughts of the future that may perhaps sever you from home and parents are indeed sad, very sad. I have felt them for you many a time, and I have sometimes thought that perhaps I was doing wrong, in taking you thus from a happy home when I have nothing but the hard handed world glaring into my face with its cold avaricious eyes, for myself I can meet it, but I have spent many an hour in serious thought as to whether it were right for me to ask any one to join me in a lot which may be a hard one. Dearest I know your generous heart never has hesitated on that ground, & I would not have mentioned it here, only in justice to myself to tell you I have long felt deeply on that point — I thank you again for your frankness in writing to me all your thoughts and I hope if you have a fear or sorrow you will let me know it and help to bear it if I can — Your New York letter I will send for. It is advertised I presume and I may get it yet. I hope so. That whiskered likeness shall be forthcoming — though it may not be immediately My thanks for the sweet little kiss you sent me — "But ah the thrilling charm is lost in kisses, that arrive by post, That fruit can only tasteful be When gathered melting from the tree" } Ever your own James [*That "sketch" is not quite done — Monday Morn.*][*Williamstown Mass*] Ravenna. Jan. 24th '56. James Love: You recollect we were laughing about cousin Em Raymond studying "French" when you were here last summer. She has progressed so rapidly [that] and is so well pleased with it (him) that she has concluded to be French. This evening she is married and I had an invitation to attend the wedding but cannot leave my school. I was feeling a little sorry until I received your precious letter, but now I don't care. Though I would love to meet the dear friends there still I am happier here alone with you, for there is no one among them that loves me as do you, over one whom I can love as you. From the card I send, you learn my Lizzie is married also. — A week ago to day. [*97*]Then you have decided with all your other becomings to become Author. That is nothing marvelous, true, for one who has never learned what failure means, whatever he may have undertaken, nor need I ask if one so strong and bold can tremble in view of the ordeal he must pass in making his first appearance as an Author. Ah, well may I be "proud" of the one to whom my heart is given. The sweet worship my whole nature gives to you, dearest, you can never know: for I cannot tell it. James you are rich. The wealth of the Indies is poverty compared with what you possess: and dearest, I beg of you, ever again allow your want of the dross of life to cause you one unpleasant thought as connected with me. Think you I would leave my home with less regret could you surround me with millions? James if you will love me--ever (ever) it will be my sweetest pleasure to share with you whatever of life's portion may be yours. If the last crust of bread fail[s]--are you really very much afraid it will?--why then give me an intellectual dish spiced with an occasional kiss, and I will only love you all the better. When they tell me of one who has seen a once loving devoted husband grow cold, and indifferent, then I feel that a bitter sorrow has come home to that heart. A sorrow that would make death sweet. But to talk of poverty alone driving away sunshine from the heart is all folly to me. As soon could a little silvery cloud blot out the sun from the heavens. Thank you, dearest, for that pretty poem you copied for me Next time I shall receive that "Sketch" shall I not? Which I shall love for better because a production of yours. Tomorrow I intend going home to make them a visit: but I fear it will not seem much like Hiram; for our church has been burned to the ground since I was last there. A few days after it was burned the Post Office and Store were robbed andset on fire, but it was discovered before much damage was done. For this Arthur Parker has been taken up and is now in the jail here awaiting his trial. It is now supposed that he set fire to the church also. at least his own family think so. He was expelled from school New years, and they say that he threatened burning the Church if he was expelled. He had been heard to say that he wished to see three large fires, and the supposition is that he intended the Seminary should go next. They fear it will kill his Mother. The best thing I can hope for him now is that he may be sent to Columbus; for if he escapes his next step will I fear land him upon the scaffold. Brother Rider bears the loss of the church better than I expected. He says it is no time now to sit down and fold their hands, and they intended at first to go on and put up another building this season but have now determined I believe to wait another year. Now, dearest, if you have not too much business on your hands will you not answer this just as soon as received, I could not bear too often if a letter came every hour yet I will try and not be unreasonable in my demands. May Heaven — guard you and grant you largest success in all your efforts for the right and good. From one who loves you as she loves none other Your Lucretia.[*Ravenna Oh*] [*[Hiram]*] Williams College, Mass. Tuesday Eve. Jan 29th 1856. My Own Love. I am twice blest, for two of your dear letters are lying before me; one received nearly a week since, & the other, that wanderer which has just been forwarded to me from New York. Though written long ago, yet, like [a] rose, it has lost none of its rich fragrance It brings vividly to my heart some of the scenes and Emotions of my visit to Ohio. And were you also suffering the like anguish that I did, when we were walking to meet [y]our cousin Mary? Oh, may Heaven spare me another such trial. A dark mist of bitterest sorrow enshrouded my every hope, and not until that blessed night in your dear little room in Ravenna, was it all, all dissipated by the clear, warm light of unclouded love. Such an hour can [*49*]never pass between us again, for we have been behind the vail now, and know what is there. Since that night my spirit has been free and joyous as the Eagle on the mountain crag, high above the clouds where the bright sunbeams play with undimmed splendor, and I know your own heart throbs with a pulse more joyous, and more free than ever before. Heaven be praised for the light the freedom the love and the joy 'tis ours to possess. Your strictures upon Oliver I am fully constrained to believe are entirely just, and the cautions which your N.Y. letter contained are just as they should be. Four weeks ago his letters to which you referred were received and answered, and be assured he got no satisfaction from me in reference to his marriage arrangements. His two long letters came within a few days of each other and after inquiring about the propriety of his coming here and spending one year, taking what is called the University Course, and being particularly anxious to know whether he could get any kind of diploma or certificate without staying the whole time he proceeded to speak of the other theme. I give you part of the passage from his letter verbatim. [for] et literatum et punctuatim et Spellatim!! "Marcia seems well & happy. I do not hear from her so often as before, yet frequently. You. Know. now. My brother, how I feel about my future course ni reference to these things, that is somewhat anxious. O, of course desire [to] be directed in wisdom and prudence, yet I feel it necessary on my part to think of the subject. duty urges as well as feelings. I am alone in the wide, wide sea seeking some safe and pleasant harbor. can you not direct me to some beautiful aisle (!!) where a home is found full with happiness and the riches of life?" Then he goes on to enquire about Miss Selleck, my lady friend at Poestenkill and wanted to know what I thought of her for him. I need not tell you that I answered his uxorious queries in the shortest possible style, by telling him I could give him no assistance in that direction. I'd loose my right hand before I would recommend him to that dear good Sister, or any other, on any such basis as he proposed. Oliver has many good friends and desires to do good, but his overweening pride & love of care and approbation, make a sad composition of nature — I cannot understand how a man could ever make up his mind to ask another to intercede for him in [of] winning the love, (perhaps I should say the money) of any woman. If he cannot do it himself, he is neither worthy of it nor able to keep it — But let us pity his weakness and try to do him all the good we can — I think it would be a fine thing for him to spend a year here in college — It would most effectually knock off the [?] sharp corners of his self consequence. Your pardon, for spending so much of the space of this letter on this point — but I wanted you to know how he was moving — I send you that promised sketch, done in haste and at stolen moments of the night — Please don't criticise it too severely — Let me hear from you very soon. One kiss of love dearest and then Good [night?] Your own loving James[*Ravenna*] 23 South College. Feb 3rd 1856. Lord's Day Evening. Lucretia, Dearest. But a little while from the time I wrote to you last, I received your precious letter of Jan. 24th, and now I will take a part of this quiet Lord's Day Evening to converse with you. There are only a very few to whom I write letters on Sunday; but I do not believe it wrong for me to write to you even now, and so hereafter, I shall make no apology to you for [occupying] dedicating a portion of these sacred days to you. Now, my own one, I am inclined to introduce one reform into our letters, and that is that you tell me something about your health, and what you are teaching & how you are getting along in all these matters, and what your every day experiences are. I have heard not one word from you on these points for a long time. You know dearest, that I want to know all about you [*50*]and you cannot write the smallest particular that will not make me glad to know. On the other hand I will tell you more about my self. (I mean my health,) for in other things I am generally letting you know what I am about, by some means or other. So to begin I am enjoying very fine health this winter & if you wish any evidence, I presume the fact that I now weigh 194 pounds, will have some weight in convincing you. Now, darling, you will tell me all about your thoughts and doings, won't you? Do you know how entirely happy your dear letters all make me, and especially the last? I do not know what I should do in this cold wilderness winter, if your messages of affection did not come to me. I would love to read one every hour - As often as you may wish to write to me, so often shall I gladly respond, be it every day. Oh, how much I wanted a good long letter from you last evening. When the weeks work was all done, and I left here quiet and alone? Why can't you drop in and let me fold you to my heart just one sweet hour? Have you thought, love, that six months from next Wednesday, if God wills, I shall close my story in the land of the East and hasten to your arms? But shall I not hope to see you here, in company with your friend Lizzie and her newly married husband? I wish it might be so. Really, the marrying process seems to be going on quite briskly in the Buckeye State! Where does our Frenchified cousin intend to live? And what for a man has she got for a husband? That burning of the meetinghouse at Hiram, was certainly a great calamity to the brethren, but I hope it will, at least, have the effect to rouse them ad get them in the way of accomplishing something in some other directions. Poor Arthur. I am not surprised to hear that he has done all that villainy for I knew him to be a very vicious and desperate fellow while I was in the school. What do you hear about the school, this winter, and how do the Brethren feel in referenceto it now? I suppose I shall be called on to decide my own course in regard to it, before long - I have some special things I want to say to you about it before very long - At present I will only say that I do not want to go there unless there are some more marks of energy and force, than I have seen manifested there for the last year. Please tell me very freely all you think about it as it lies in your horizon - and before very long, I will write something more on the subject. I should like to know just how O.P. feels about some of the things I have written to him lately. How does he appear to enjoy himself now? Now Darling, I feel as though you were thinking of me tonight, and my spirit goes away to you and nestles so lovingly in your heart! Do you not feel my presence? Oh how I long to be with you indeed as well as in thought and spirit. Now you will let me hear from you right soon? I hope there is a letter already on the way - to gladden the heart and make more happy still Your own James[*Williamstown Mass*] [*[Fe 3, 1856]*] Ravenna Sunday afternoon, Feb 3rd '56. James, My Own: I sat down here a long time ago to commence this letter to you, but the soft blue sky and the snowy earth dazzling in the bright sunshine lured my eye away from this little page and involuntarily I yielded to a fit of musing. A few bright glimpses of the Past I caught, but to the Future my thoughts turned more. Again I sat upon your knee with my arms around your neck and your strong arms drawing me to your heart. Again you called me darling and kissed me when I smiled. Fain would I have stayed there forever, But the crackling of the fire beside me and the merrily ringing sleigh-bells without woke me to the consciousness that those glad summer hours had not yet come, and compelled me much against my will to think of you again so far far away. But rapidly the hours bear on. The last month of cold Winter is fast passing, and soon [and soon] the fierce blasts of old [?Burcas] will flee to his Northernden [before] as the gentle breath of spring laden with the perfume of flowers steals upon us. Then each hour will surround us with such beauty and gladness that [they] it will not be long - But I will anticipate no further - I dare not approach nearer that sacred hour when we meet again. How oft did we refer to that meeting last summer for months before it came, never decerning that it could have aught in reserve for us but joy, the most entire. You know the sequel. True you may say, that was all due to my reserve and apparent coldness when we first met. I have it. I know it now but did not then consequently could not divine why you were so changed. But James if I had known it I know not that I could have received you any differently. I cannot explain why. I only know that there are some circumstances in which when I am placed the reserve of my nature has completely the mastery. I trust that I am so entirely one with you now, that it can never rise between us again: still I do not know that it will not. Therefore I dare not hope too much for the Future. - I verily [?] you will think I am getting gloomy for I have managed to get a shade into every letter I have written you for the last two months. I am through now, I guess, so I can think of nothing more with a dark side to turn out. When at home [last] a week ago I found Uncle Carnat Mason very ill with the Typhoid fever. Yesterday the sad intelligence came that he was dead. Poor Mary, her cup of sorrow seems full. His death is a heavy affliction not only to his family but to community. It would seem that there are many others who could have been spared better than he, but he who rules in the Heavens knows the wants of his creatures better than we can. - Sunday morning I came down with Harvey to Shakersville and heard him preach. How different he is from Oliver. There is true nobility in his character, and the more I become acquainted with him the more I admire and respect him. He sends his love to you and says that he knows that he promised to write to you, and fully intended tobut his Bethany affair has taken a good deal of his time, and then he says that you have so many correspondents, he thinks it would be about as friendly not to trouble you. He always inquires about you when I see him, and speaks of you as a brother and hopes that he may yet spend [a great] many happy hours with you. I never became much acquainted with him before this winter, but he is the only boarder our people have [this winter], and he makes himself one of the family, and seems the most like a brother of any person of my acquaintance. I hope Oliver will go to [Bethany] Williams if they can do him any good. He has many good qualities, but has some most ludicrous notions in his head which ought to be corrected if he would make a very useful man. His "kinde" corresponds very well with the address of a letter he sent me while away - it was directed to Miss Lucrecia Rudolph. I took it out of the Office wondering what ignoramus had been writing to me, When lo! it was from him. - Your dear poem - I have read over and over, and over again, and thank you for it with all my heart. The "criticisms" I have bottled up till I see you again. May I expect another letter next Sat? Yours Forever Lucretia [*Last evening I read the 17th chapter of Luke. Do you recollect ever quoting the 32nd verse to me? L.*]T Mr. James A. Garfield Williamstown Mass.[*Williamstown Mass*] Ravenna. Sunday Afternoon. Feb. 10th '56. Dearest: The warm sunshine as gaily and brightly kisses the Earth's white cheek as when one week ago I sat right here watching its sportive dalliance until I felt upon my own cheek the fond spirit kiss of lips I love. - Right before me is your last dear letter - last night received - which affords the additional charm of being written almost the same hour that I was last writing to you to make me love it - if possible - more than any before. - So dearest it is not wrong for us to devote an hour of Lord's Day to each other. If I were with you I would not feel it wrong to kiss you or tell you how well I loved you; no more do I feel it to be a desecration of the day to write to you when away. I am glad you are enjoying such fine health this winter, and trust you will guard it carefully. I also have been very well with the exception of rather a severe cold which affected my head for several weeks. My lungs however have escaped so far and I trust they will; occasionally a piercing pain darts through my left side for a moment almost [*101*]stopping my breath. It has troubled me somewhat for several years, but I presume it is only a nervous affection of some kind; [but] whatever it is, it does not affect my general health, and I pronounce myself perfectly whole. I have not been weighed lately - as the [??Hay] scales are so far out of town - but venture I stand as high as 1601 ounces at least. As far as my teaching I scarcely know what to tell you. I have the same classes I commenced the term with, Mental Arithmetic, Algebra, Grammar, Reading, Latin and French. Sometimes I think I am getting along very well and sometimes I get almost discouraged; but it will be of no use to get the blues over it so I make the best of it and enjoy myself very well We are preparing now for our exhibition at the close of the term, and I have been trying my skill at colloquizing, how I have succeeded I can tell better a few weeks hence. I am getting very much interested in a French work I am reading with one of my classes. It is one of Mme. De Stael's best productions - "Corinne or Italy!" and a fine thing it is. I wish you could read it and you must sometime. I do not believe there is any other class of Authors, can express a beautiful idea more beautifully, than the French. My reading has been rather desultory. Sometimes [?History] sometimes Fiction, and occasionally a little of the real substantial Prose. When I have patience enough I spend an hour with Shakspeare and just now I have "Irvings Sketch Book" with which I am interesting myself not a little. As for thoughts I don't believe I have any. I guess I live like most of my sisters without any such expensive article. It is no wonder I have had a cold in my head is it? with such a vacuum there!! - The school at Hiram considered merely for the present term without any reference to the past or future is passing very finely, and as for its future you can conjecture what it must be unless there is some change effected. But perhaps that will be brought about. The teachers have decided I believe that Mr. Hillier cannot stay longer than the present term. The trustees meet sometime early in the spring, and I have heard it surmised that Bro. Hayden will then probably resign. I am sorry Bro. Hayden is not the man to fill such a place; for it would be far pleasanter if he could stay. The something special you have to say about the school or your going there I shall be most happy to listen towhenever you are ready to speak. I love all that you say to me, dearest, but best of all do I love that which is the most intimately connected with yourself. - I do not know how O.P. feels towards you; but I expect he thinks I am a very unkind ungrateful girl; and I don't much care. Do you want to know what I have been doing? I haven't been doing anything, and that is the trouble I suppose He was becoming altogether too affectionate for an adopted brother to suit my taste, so I had the presumption when his Reverend came in to spend the evening not long since with a very aimable kiss ready to bestow, to draw back with a "no" which should be understood. He looked very much astonished; but with a laugh at his discomfiture I bade him be seated. Since then he has been rather cool and that is just what I want, and I hope he understands now that my lips are not made for the love concerns of every one. For, sir, if you scold me for my irreverence you shan't kiss me when you come home. James are you sure that you wish [me] to see me at Williams next August? Think of it again, then tell me honestly if you would not rather meet me in the quiet of my own home when we meet again. — Cousin Emma's husband is a physician living at Parkman. He says he is a good physician and that is all I know about him. I have not seen him yet. In a few days I shall expect an answer to the letter I wrote last Sunday. I wonder if you are writing again now. If not, are you not at least bestowing upon me - one sweet thought? To know that I am loved and remembered by you is the dearest joy that earth can give. Fondly Thine: Lucretia. P.S. I am glad to see "Lucretius" appear again, and thank you much for favoring me with his correspondence. I trust it will be continued. L.[*Ravenna*] Williams, February 11th 1856 11 o'clock Monday Evening My Own Lucretia: Two hours ago your dear letter reached me. Through some postal blunder it was sent to "Westfield Mass." and was re-mailed from there last Saturday - It had been so long since I heard from you . I had almost begun to fear you were sick or some calamity had befallen you. Do you know Dearest how many times I have been frozen at the thought that you were perhaps on a bed of sickness? But God be thanked that you are well and I am permitted to know it once more. Oh how my soul yearns to clasp you to my heart once more! And could you be with me at this lonely hour, how complete would be the bliss within my heart! You were sad Darling when you wrote to me and I am glad you told me your hearts history that night you wrote - But, Love, you need have no sadness in regard to that bitter experience we passed last summer ,for I feel assured we shall never [*51*]have such an one again. You were not at all to blame. There was no blame in the case, [unless] except what rested on me. But the last vail was not yet taken away and we both knew and had long felt it must be before our hearts could be all one forever. The nearer you come to a vail the darker it is till you have pass- ed it. So it was then with us, and when on that thrice blessed night it was taken forever away and I saw and felt the deep fountains of your heart pouring their exhaustless wealth of love out upon me, then there were stirred depths within my soul which were never before moved, and "the foun tains of the great deep" of my heart "were bro- ken up" — Since that hour, there has been no cloud— no darkness— no doubt, but all clear joyous glad sunshine. I know your beloved heart, and so long as I remain worthy of your love, I know it is mine. Whatever our meeting may be, it will make no difference - now I know — then I did not. If you are happy in my love, I am by the knowledge of that fact made thrice happy. But my own precious Darling if these is one sad thought, one foreboding sorrow, one cloud — you will tell it to me in all its length and breadth will you not? It is a duty we owe to our own hearts and to each other, to reveal our joys and sorrows — and if there be any bar between our complete happiness, it is also our duty to set about enquiring into it and removing it. Now do not, My Love, shirk from that duty at any time, and whatever you may see in me that you wish was otherwise, I want you to tell me all of it, and I shall be most happy to perform it for your sake and my own. And will you not share with me any sorrow or sadness you may have? Fain would I bear them all for you if that could be — There are hours that fall upon my heart and bring with them "A feeling of sadness That I cannot all resist." Still, it is a pleasing, pensive sadness which is not akin to suffering, for when I look away to the future — which is always the same as look ing away to you, there is such a mild, calm joy dwelling there, that I am won away from my sadness as the sun dries up the tearful dew that fell upon the flowers while the night was upon them.I am living a calm, quiet life of study and continuous, yet pleasant labor. I feel that I am now gathering the most valuable fruit of the whole College course. Our powerful and beloved President is leading us with a strong hand through paths of thought that my feet have never before trodden, and I hope to gain in the journey some permanent possessions - for future life - I am glad you are where you can sometimes enjoy the company of our dear Bro. Harvey. I love him as a brother noble and true. Give my kindest regards to him when next you see him. I don't like his reasons for not writing to me however - I have not heard from Oliver since I last wrote you. He always, when he says anything about you, writes it "Lucrecia." Doesn't he know any better? I do not recollect of quoting Luke 17-32 to you. When was it? Please tell me about it. I sent you a letter one week ago to-day and I hope to receive one from you, by next Wednesday. Do you think you look forward to the arrival of my letters as anxiously as I do to yours? Now shall I not hear from you again right soon - That Heaven may protect and guide you is the prayer of Your own James[*Ravenna*] Williams College Mass. Sunday Evening Feb. 17th 1856 Lucretia, Dearest, It is a calm deep joy that pervades my spirit as I turn away to you tonight amid the roar of the tempest. So stormy a day as this I never before saw. Embattled millions of furious snowflakes are riding on the wings of the tempest while the ruffian blasts are shrieking with maddened fury. For eight weeks the snow has lain two feet deep on a lever and the thermometer has stood many degrees below zero. I might almost say of this place what Thompson said of Greenland: "Throned in his palace of cerulean ice Here Winter holds his unrejoicing court, And through his airy hall the loud misrule Of driving tempest is forever heard; Here the given tyrant meditates his wrath; Here arrive his winds with all-subduing frosts Moulds his fierce hail and treasures of his sorrow." [*52*]But when I think of my own Darling Crete and the warm cheerful home in her heart which is all all mine - with its treasured wealth of affection, I can laugh at the storm, and with the voices of love that awaken in my soul I can forget my loneliness and say to the tempests "Howl on ye storms! ye snowflakes fall! Sounds soft and sweet float from above, Like zephyrs on Ealian strings, Like raptures on the lips of love." Yes, the love that unites our hearts can bridge the 600 miles of storms that rage between us and over its arches our spirits can pass to exchange words of affection and love. I wonder Dearest, if you are not writing to me now? There are times when I feel you so near me that I can hardly believe, but that your spirit is with mine. I want to know, if you have the same difficulty that I do, to bring up to you the faces of those you love? I have tried for hours to make out the face and features of some dear friend, and just as I would get it pretty near, and begin to trace the outlines, it would waver and become indistinct so that I could not make it out. Sometimes when I have been trying to bring up before me your own loved features, and to get one look into those dark eyes, some Mary Buckingham or some ridiculous old man, that I cared nothing about, would come up and glare at me till I could see every wrinkle and pimple on the face. Why don't you come a little nearer? It is a very strange thing but I find that a great many have the same experience. Many thanks for so full an account of yourself and your [and your] winters labors. I should love to read French with you, and shall be glad to be your pupil some day. Glad you are reading Shakespeare that greatest master of the human heart. I hope to read him as long as I live. My reading this term is mainly confined to collateral works in connection with the studies of the term. (Mental and Moral Philosophy.) However I have read several of Shakespeare's plays [*Hall & Stairway Mills Theol. Library, 1700 8x10 Wood Room Closet Desk Table Study 13x12 Lounge North Wash Room 7x9 Bed Room 7x9 23 East College 3rd Story. || = Door | = Window*] But when I think of my own Darling Crete and the warm cheerful home in her heart which is all all mine - with its treasured wealth of affection, I can laugh at the storm, and with the voices of love that awaken in my soul I can forget my loneliness and say to the tempests "Howl on ye storms! ye snowflakes fall! Sounds soft and sweet float from above, Like zephyrs on Eolian strings. Like raptures on the lips of love." Yes, the love that unites our hearts can bridge the 600 miles of storms that rage between us and over its arches our spirits can pass to exchange words of affection and love. I wonder Dearest, if you are not writing to me now? There are times when I feel you so near me that I can hardly believe, but that your spirit is with mine. I want to know, if you have the same difficulty that I do, to bring up to you the faces of those you love ? I have tried for hours to make out the face and features of some dear friend, and just as I would get it pretty near, and begin to trace the outlines, it would waver and become indistinct so that I could not make it out. Sometimes when I have been trying to bring up before me your own loved features, and to get one look into those dark eyes, some Mary Buckingham, or some ridiculous old man, that I cared nothing about, would come up and glare at me till I could see every wrinkle and pimple on the face. Why don't you come a little nearer? It is a very strange thing but I find that a great many have the same experience. Many thanks for so full an account of yourself and your [and your] winter's labors. I should love to read French with you, and shall be glad to be your pupil some day. Glad you are reading Shakespeare that greatest master of the human heart. I hope to read him as long as I live. My reading this term is mainly confined to collateral works in connection with the studies of the term. (Mental and Moral Philosophy.) However I have read several of Shakespeare's playssome of Tennyson's sweet lays, and I am now reading one of Walter Scotts novels the "Heart of Mid Lothian". Today I have been reading one of the "Tales of the Covenanters." by Pollok the Poet - It is a beautiful picture of piety and constancy in the trying times of Charles II and the persecutions of that period. I don't know as I ever told you there is a library of 1700 volumes in my room - They are all religious and theological works and many of them very rare and valuable - I intend to make out a list for a library of my own if I shall ever be able to have such a desirable luxury - I have a fine chance here to make out such a list - In a letter I received from Sister Rebecca a few days ago there is the following: "Have I not heard you say you expected friends from Ohio at Commencement? Was 'Cretia to be of the numbers If so, will you not ask her for me to spend a few weeks here before or after Commencement. If she did not intend coming, will she not come for me? It would be a very great pleasure to welcome her to my quiet home and sister's heart, and learn to love her for her own sake as I now do for yours." I should be very glad to have you here at Commencement and to have you become acquainted with her - That is "honestly told", but whatever you may think best in reference to it will satisfy me - Where is Pratt and your friend Lizz? and how are they getting along? I see that he graduated several years ago - I have no doubt you have used the best discipline with O.P. that could have been used - I am sorry that he does not bear a close acquaintance so well as I had hoped he would - What has become of Bro Stirling McBride since the Bethany fracas -? Hoping to hear from you again very soon I am as ever Your "ownest own", James. [*I fear this storm will detain the mails as it has done before - I send you a sketch of my suite of rooms, which I have all alone J —*][*[Fe 18, 1856]*] [*Williamstown Mass 56*] Ravenna, Feb. 18th, Monday eve. James, My Own: Not until to day did I receive your precious letter, which I thought certainly would come Saturday; but its treasures of love and kindness thrice repay me for the disappointment, and with a heart throbbing with purest honest love for you I sit down gladly to respond. Dearest your love is a fountain of bliss to my soul every drop of which is of more value than all the world beside. Oh it is such a dear happiness to feel this brightest ideal of my life realized. to have found the one to whom my spirit has ever been wed. When scarcely more than a child my imagination had pictured just such a love as ours, and it seemed to me so pure so holy. I felt the love of parent and child of brothers and sisters was dear and sacred as life; but [w?d] wedded love I had [?en] every attraction. As I became older however and watched more [?ly] its manifestation in the world around me, I began [*102*]to doubt whether any such love really existed. I saw but few cases which could be considered even the faintest illustrations of it, and I felt that it was perhaps but a dream of my childish fancy. But it was not. Thank Heaven, it was not. That entire confidence, that sweet union, that perfect oneness, which gave to it, its chief attraction is not merely ideal but real, Darling, how much I love you for that sweet assurance that no cloud shall ever settle its dark form between us again - that whatever darkness may approach we shall be upon the same side of it. I can believe it when you tell me so, and believing that I am very, very happy. Life cannot be very dark if the light of your warm loving heart is around me, and if my affection for you can lighten a single sorrow of yours - if a thought of me can make glad one moment ever of your existence, I feel that I have not lived in vain; and the more I can contribute to your happiness, the more perfect I can make your bliss so much greater will be the value I shall attach to my life. --- You ask me to tell you a story. --- One still October afternoon with cousin Mary Savage I was sauntering along a footpath through the seminary quad at Chester. I had observed no one near when suddenly I heard a footstep directly behind me. I looked around just as you were crossing the path, and received the salutation "Remember Lot's wife", and on you went. A strange mortal thought I ; and remarked to cousin Mary that you were the drollest genius I had ever seen. I have to laugh occasionally when I think of some of your odd remarks in that old Philosophy class where we first met. You were singled out for a prodigy from the first. O, do you recollect falling asleep in the class the day after we went to Kirkland? No one of us observed it until Mr. Sorter - I guess that is his name - sang out with his peculiar nasal twang, "Hadn't a committee better be appointed to wake up Mr. Garfield." Whereupon we resolved ourselves into a committee of the whole, and with a burst of laughter awoke you "short order". Then how you looked around upon us, not in the least disconcertedbut something as I imagine a young lion would have looked so abruptly around from his slumbers. Verily I believe I loved you even then; but no, it was only admiration of you I then felt, not deserving the sacred name Love. That was left for other years to disclose & for other scenes to portray. Thank Heaven that the long dark years that intervened did not deprive me of this sweet privilege. That I have been spared that bitter sorrow of [?] to the consciousness that my hand was bestowed upon one to whom my heart was not really given, for I never gave nor ever could give the least particle of affection to Albert as he is, It was only to him as I imagined him to be that I gave it, and the moment I clearly saw his real character, I loved him no longer. You ask if I look forward to the arrival of your letters as anxiously as you do to mine. The moment I have finished the last line of one of your dear letters, I begin to count the days until I may expect another. And often when I receive one I wait just as long as I possibly can before ready it so that the pleasure may not so soon be past. Soon I hope to receive an answer to the one I wrote you a week ago next Saturday certainly, and you will answer this as soon as received won't you dearest? Please do give me just one sweet kiss before I say good night. Heaven keep you ever in the [?] of Your Own Lucretia. P.S. I always manage to get in a P.S. somehow. This time it is to send Barbara's love to you [?] show I received a letter a few days since. What has become of Charles this winter? Give my love to him and tell him that I hope he is still faithful to his trust. L.[*Ravenna*] Williams College. Mass. Monday Eve. Feb. 25th 1856. My Own Lucretia. I have just returned this afternoon from Pittstown. N. Y. where I spoke to the Brethren yesterday, and I find your very dear letter of the 18th Inst. lying before me. I am very glad to return from my Hebrew recitation and give the first leisure hour of the evening to you. I am very weary with the 60 miles ride in the cold, and the other labors of the last three days and it is a sweet rest to sit down and let my heart talk with yours. Not many mortals are blessed with such dear messages all overflowing with love and confidence, as those loved ones that I receive weekly from your own dear hand and heart — [*53*]Has any body got so rich a pacquet of letters as these while ones that are stacked up in the coziest corner of my desk. And all arranged in chronological order? Every body is hereby respectfully challenged to produce their equals for rich deep affection such as comes to a heart full of feeling. Accompanied by such tokens of love, the wheels of time sing in their swift revolutions, and the months hasten on the day when our hearts shall hold immediate communion. Really the greatest objection I have to being where you are, is that it will deprive me of these dear letters which I have so long been accustomed to receive. I am much pleased with your stories about my drolleries in Chester. And now in turn I must tell you one. In the fall of 1848 I was Bowsman on the "Evening Star", running from Cleveland to Pittsburgh with a cargo of copper ore. I was dressed in coarse, heavy oil cloth coat and pants, and had all the appearance of a weather beaten boatman. As I was passing through the back of Newport Ohio, I observed a group of men seated on a bench in front of a liquor doggery, and prominent among them, was a dashing young man with dark eyes and raven locks. He seemed to be enjoying the rowdyism of the Bacchanal group, who seemed to be far beneath him in intelligence and respectability of dress. I was struck with the thought that one of so superior intellect, should be pleased with such comrades and while looking intently at him our eyes met, and after an earnest gaze of a moment on the part of each, I passed on, moving on my own headlong course of life. . . . . . . A year had passed. Five months of soul-subduing sickness, had made [its] their mark upon me, and I was just able to crawl away to Chester and try to study a little.When walking across the Seminary green, one day, a stranger stopped me, we recognized each other — it was the young man of the dark eye and raven locks — Says he "I suppose you are one of the b'hoys, glad to see you. I've spent many a jolly night with canal boys — but a fellow must be mighty pious here if he * wants to get into the good graces of Mother Branch" So giving me a knowing wink, he passed on, having misjudged me and revealed himself — From that hour I knew the treachery of Albert S. Hall, and when I heard that Lucretia loved him, my heart was wrung with sorrow for her, yet I knew, that one so unknown as myself could do nothing to make the crooked straight. Darling, do you know how much distance there was between us then and with the feelings I then had, it seems very strange that I should ever have dared to expect the gift of your love — and, indeed, it was not till long years after that I did so aspire — Speaking of Chester and its scenes, reminds me, that I received a letter from Orrin H. Judd informing me that he and Julia are married — Have you seen them since? But I see I am approaching the bottom of this page My love. I wish you would write a larger sheet full, every time — I love your letters so much. Could I but hold you in my arms — that "nice place to cry"— and receive from your dear lips one sweet kiss, I should be full of joy But, Darling, for the [no??e] Good Night. Your own James. [* *One (M. P.) year from this time I will tell you what happened during the time that elapsed between the writing of these two word[s] which the star separates.*] [*Williamstown Mass.*] [*56*] Ravenna. Monday Eve. Feb 25th [55.] James Dearest:- I received your blessed letter about an hour before starting for home last Friday consequently have not responded before; and this evening it seems as if the Fates are against me. The fore part of the evening I spent reading, and just as I had laid down my book to commence writing, one of the teachers came in and sat an hour or so, and as soon as she was gone and the first line of this written Mrs. Collier came up and sat a while. To be sure I enjoyed their company very much, still I felt that I would much rather be writing to you. But now I will; and if anyone else comes I believe I will tell them I am away, for I am with you. The tempests still howl and the feathery snow-flakes fly, and it begins to seem as if the glad spring time never would come again so long the Earth has been wrapped in her snowy shroud. But I [*103*]am not sad or lonely, for your dear letter is here for me to press to my lips and my heart and before me is one of the sweetest little bouquets you ever saw. I wish I could send it to you, but I fear the little fragile thing of beauty would be chilled to death before it could find a home beneath the light of your dear eyes. - My visit home was very pleasant. A part of Friday evening I spent with Miss. Booth. She speaks more encouragingly of the school and its prospects than I have heard her for a long time. But she does not think it would be for the best for Bro. Hayden to resign at present, and I think her reasons are good, and more she thinks it is not wise for you to say that you will not come back while he remains. She will write to you soon I think and doubtless more fully than I can. There are some things I would like to say to you sometime perhaps but not now I think. Have you seen Bro. Campbell's version of the Bethany affair? If so - what think you of it? And what think you of Harrison Jones and Isaac Evrett for casting in their mite of sympathy with Bethany and denouncing the course pursued by our Southern students as altogether unjustifiable? Do you think Philip long a boy who should have taken a good "birching" and been sent back to college, as H. Jones says? Sterling McBride still remains at Bethany. That is all I want to say about him now lest I say something I ought not. I am glad, James, you have been spared the disgrace of ever being a student there. Bro. Campbell has been a great, and I believe a good man. But I must confess I somewhat doubt his infallibility, and I think it very strange that a man of Isaac Evrett's judgement can betray such a weakness as to countenance his procedure in this affair. Much more strange do I think it that he can sanction the doings of those connected with Bro. Campbell in the college at Bethany, when their course is evidently so unrighteous. - I am glad that you are enjoying so well this year at Williams. I am sure you cannot often be lonely shut up there with your 1700 friends. Thank you for the sketch of your rooms. I have you located now. Butnow see it is a little past 10 o'clock. Just now I imagine you are seated by your desk, [you] my letter written a week ago is before you and you are answering. Beside it is your Bible from which when you have finished writing you will read the 16th chapter of John. Am I right? Please tell me if you reccollect when you write again. Then the image of Mary Buckingham is more indelibly imprinted upon your brain than mine is it? Nothing strange however for I will admit her appearance is much more striking than mine. I think your inability to call up the faces of your friends very funny. I have sometimes experienced the same in trying to recall the features of persons whom I have seen only once or twice but the face of a friend I can see almost as distinctly as if they were present. I can keep you before me as perfect as life by the hour and see every expression as you talk to me almost as clearly as if I were in your arms; and it is a very sweet privilege I can assure you. I would be most happy to become acquainted with my twin sister and hope I may. You may expect me at Williams next commencement unless something happens to prevent, I know not of now; and will I not meet her there? - Pratt and Lizzie are at Briar, Williams Coll. this state, where he is practising law in Sept, I hope, and doubtless they are. Now if you would only come and give me one real kiss before I say goodnight; I would be satisfied, why don't you? I forward a paper which was sent to Hiram for you, and our people had taken from the Office. From one who loves you, Lucretia. [*S. Pettibone says he has an action against you, That he has not received a line from you although he has faithfully performed his duty. Harvey sends his love again. D [Atinted?] sends some and I've forgotten what was L.*] [*Please write again very soon -*][*Williamstown Mass*] [*[Mr 1 1856]*] Ravenna. Sat. evening March 1st. "Jamie" My Love: Please do open your door and let me in a little while. I want to see you again with these real eyes, and talk to you with this real tongue and kiss you with these real lips - Just a little while let me come, and I will be very good I know you don't want to see me very much, and I spose you think I might just as well write a letter and not be such a silly girl, but I dont want to, and I have a great mind to say I "want" just out of spite to you for sending me away back here alone this dismal stormy night. But I suppose I ought not to be angry for to others some one of your "objections" to being where I am is influencing you, and you cannot conscientiously do otherwise. By the way if you are going to love my letters better than myself, I shall not send you any more for I have no idea of yielding the first place in your heart at least to my "inferiors", [*84*]Sunday morning.- It was well that dreamy eyed sleep looked upon me as I turned over this leaf last night, and folded me in her dark [opinions?] before I could write another line; for I was in anything but a mood for writing, and a strong letter you would have received had I gone on. How much better it will be the one I write this morning I cannot tell for I awoke with a dull headache, and when my head aches it will do nothing else. I am getting very tired teaching this term and feel that a lettle rest would be very acceptable and in two weeks more I shall have it. - Snowing snowing yet. I wonder if the green fields will never appear again, and the little flowers lift their tiny heads and breathe their fragrace out and the bright birds come back to carol to us their sweet songs. It has been such a long long time that the snow mantled earth alone has greeted our sight that I am growing very weary of it, and long for the coming of gentle spring. And why need I care whether 'tis sunshine or storm, since each hour is winging one away to your loved embrace since each snowflake as it falls spans another moment of our seperation, and every fitful blast but hurries me onward to your arms. Already more than half of the time is past till we meet again, and soon it will all be measured off, and I shall be with you once more, shall look into your very eyes, and feel the presence of your dear lips upon my own.- "Among thy fancies tell me this: What is the thing we call a kiss?- Has it a speaking virtue? -Yes. How speaks it, say! - Do you but this Part your joined lips then speaks your kiss And this love's sweetest language is."- Do you still hear from our sweet sister Rebecca? If so, give her my love; and my thanks for her kind invitation to visit her next summer - I was so stupid as to forget it when I wrote last Monday night - and tell her that if I should come I shall expect her to return with me and spend the [?] and as much longer as I can persuade her to stay. Is she really so much like me? I am sure I pity her if she is, still it is such a new kind of love I feel for her if she really is that I cannot but hope that you are not mistaken Lizzie and I well as we love each other are very little alike. In some respects Lizzie is far more like you than me, and now to find some one like myself will be so strange, I can never love her just as I love you and Lizzie - any affections for her cannot be so strong and deep, but it seems to me it will be nearer the pure type of sisterly oneness surely I must see Rebecca. Where do you say she lives? Some place in Connecticut I believe you said but I do not recollect where.- Your story of the commencement of your acquaintence with Albert is but another confirmation of the truth I have long known, that he is destitute of those principles, without which no one can be either good or great. I hope that he may be led to a different course. If he would become good and honorable I could esteem him as a friend but never love him again. - I have a mind to be a little out of patience with you for attending to that something which happened while you were writing, but which I am not to know for a whole year. I have half a mind to say that I wont kiss you again until you do tell me, and I would too, if I were not afraid that it would be a worse punishment to myself than to you.- I had not heard that O. H. [Ladd?] and Julia were married until I received your letter, well there is no fun in getting married when every body else is, -Think I shall wait awhile. There has been at least twelve couples within my acquaintance married this winter and how many more I can't tell. Among the number are our old friends Joseph King, Lovice [Danshee?] [*1856*] 5 and Corinthia Carlton. But one of the Warren editors admonishes Joseph's bride to doubt the validity of their marriage, for, says he, however much in earnest he may have been previous to that event, he was at that time certainly joking. I believe Oliver was fully expecting to officiate at his marriage but somehow they gave him the slip. O.P. returned from Ashland County this week where he has been preaching several weeks, and has gone away again to Pennsylvania. He thinks he will not remain here any longer. Ravenna is not the summer [nrbs?] after all. He says he has not received a letter from you for sometime although he is quite sure he wrote last.- Now Dearest you will answer this immediately will you not? for if you do not it will not get here until I am away for vacation, This week sometime I hope to get another which will make the 50th received from you. Yesterday I looked them over, but much as I love them all the last is the dearest and best because it brings me nearest to you, and when I am with you I am sure I shall not care if we [*83*]another letter dear as it might be. Until that hour however I cannot receive too many. Now if you complain of the length of this letter I don't know what I will do next time. Something naughty though if you do not write me one at least as long as this. But I will stop right here loving you just as well as ever, and a little better. Forever Yours, Lucretia.[*Ravenna*] 23. E.C. Monday Eve. March 3rd 1856 Lucretia My Darling. In the same dear old place again I am seated to answer your last blessed letter — One week ago tonight I was just where you imagined I was, only the Testament has its place on the end of the lounge for when I read I wheel my rocking-chair around that way and thus turn my back upon the labors of the day. And I feel quite sure you are now either writing to me or thinking of me. Oh 'tis such a delicious joy to know that you are all, all my own and that I am as wholly yours! Such a strange reciprocity of possession! each feeling sick in the possession of the other - How much I want to send to you some of the fine things I have been reading during, during the first week, and also [*54*]to have you sit down lovingly beside me and "Read from Some treasured volume "The poem of thy choice, "And add to the rhyme of the poet "The beauty of thy voice, "Then the night would be full of music "And the cares that infest the day "Would fold up their tents like the Arabs "And as silently steal away!" During the last week, beside my regular studies I read 1000 pages — Have you seen Irvings "Life of Washington"? Two volumes are out & the third is now in press. It is a most thrilling work. Hard hearted as I am, I cried more than a dozen times while reading the last 50 pages of the first volume. I could see the wheeling squadrons at Bunker Hill & the flashing of sabres, hear the war of the battle and feel all the enthusiastic patriotism of the strife. His descriptions are most graphic and his style perfectly captivating. He does not weary you with details, but sketches the bold outlines of every scene and character and then leaves you to fill it out yourself, leaving you, however, materials enough, so that you will not do it wrong — I have also been reading the Life, letters and poetry of Theodor Körner the Poet Warrior of Germany — One of his volumes called the "Sword & the Lyre", I had read in German, but a few days ago I found a translation of all his works & an accompanying memoir. This book entirely absorbed me. I read it till long after midnight, and should not then have retired, had it not been a duty. At the age of 22 he stood among the first poets of Germany notwithstanding that Schiller and Göethes were both living — He was a universal favorite. About the time he was 22, Napolean invaded Germany, and he took up the sword to fight for freedom and his Fatherland He wrote many [shining?] war songs in the battle fieldand his comrades sang them as they rushed on to the fierce charge. He fell in the Battle of Dunnebery - bravely fighting for his country - I think of writing a review of his works and a sketch of his life for the next Quarterly, if I can find the time. I am astonished to hear that Bro. McBride has gone back to Bethany again. That article of Bro. Campbell's in the January [?] of the Harbinger. I regard as a labored and inconsistent attempt to screen the South from any blame. All honor to the great good that Bro. C. had, but "Justitice fiat, caelum ruit!" I say. I am anxious to hear you tell me what you are "sometime going to" in reference to the School at Hiram. There is some mistake about my saying unconditionally, that I would not go back while Bro. H. remains; though I have said, & still say, (in all love to Bro. H.) if he is to remain the Principal permanently I will not go there. I say this with the full appreciation of his worth as a preacher, but I know, and so do you all, that the school cannot thrive as it should, under his discipline and teaching. But this sheet is nearly full, and I will postpone further remarks on this point till some other time. Now, Dearest Love, I shall hear from you soon I know, & I want you to say just what you think about me and my course and my duty. My little Mother wishes to be remembered to you, & she sends her love. One sweet kiss & again my love Good Night James.[*Williamstown Mass*] [*[Mr 8, 1856]*] Ravenna, Sat. Eve. March 8th '56. My Best Loved: Tell you just what I think of you! Why my dear little man, I think that little woman was never before so blessed with one so good so kind so noble to make her life all happy with his love - that there never was man before with heart so overflowingly full of affection's richest treasures. This is what my heart thinks of you every day - every hour. But I will not stop with this, Look down into the very depths of my soul through these eyes that are now turned upward to your gaze as I kneel before you with my hands clasped upon your knee, and read all that is hidden there. Though with perfection alone my heart [would] invests you, yet to reason's ear a "still small voice" oft whispers "Expect it not". That you possess the noblest powers of Intellect, your every act gives evidence to That you possess a large heart and a warm ardent nature throbbing with [the] kindest noblest impulses I know. But I also know that our Ambitions as [*104*]boundless as the Universe holds a near place to your heart, and this my own James sometimes makes me tremble for you. I know that you intend never to yield to its mastery, But Ambition is a wily treacherous slave, and when I witness the Western spirits of the world becoming its victims, and see them driven on to ruin with its scorpion lash- will you forgive if I say it - I almost fear lest you too may become its slave. Were you less great, did you possess less strength and energy of character, I should have far less to fear; for a weak nature becomes but an inefficient tool in the hands of such a master. True I would not have you weak, no not for the world would I have your greatness diminished aught. Still I cannot but feel how great is the need that you examine well the mainspring of every action; and in deciding upon any course let duty to God to yourself and to your fellow man be your only guide. I know you have much to contend with which weaker natures know nothing of, The indiscreet world with its adherents and blandishments, is ever feeding those unnatural fires and it is hard to subdue them. Pardon my frankness, Dearest I have written frankly as I would you should write to me, are we so blinded that we see not ourselves as others see us, and [?] when you will reveal to me my every fault then I shall know that you are my truest friend. Will you not tell me all! - I think I am not yet prepared to tell you what I sometimes design to in reference to Hiram and perhaps I shall not be until I see you again, There are some things I do not like to trust to a merely written correspondence. It will depend however something upon [the] what you may write to me concerning it. How sweetly would these dark hours steal away if you were now beside me to read from some treasured page, As I look away into the coming years no brighter tableau appears before me than of a cozy little room with the "candles lit for the evening", and the table, upon which Wisdom Wit and Genius have laid down their offerings, drawn up before the glowing grate, and near it sitting two beings, the one strangely like yourself the other an image of her whom you love. Now your voice guides her away into the boundless fields of thought along bright and flowery ways, through groves where gushgushing fountains play, or beside still waters in whose depths the Heavens' eternal blue alone is seen. Then where with a gentle look you lead her back to sweet affection's home again you become the listener as she settles closely by your side, and to you - "Reads from some humble poet Whose song gushed from his heart As showers from the clouds of summer Or tears from the eyelids start." I have not seen the "Life of Washington" yet. I know it must be fine for [Irving does write] nothing from Irving's pen can be otherwise. I am reading some this winter, not at the rate of a thousand pages per week however. My brain is not sufficiently capacious for such large draughts. Return my love to our dear little Mother. Next to my own dear parents do I love her, and will she love me next to her own children! Will she allow me a little place near to the one you occupy in her heart! for I cannot bear to be far removed from you even in the thoughts of others. I long to see her again—long for that hour when I can meet her, and throw off all that reserve which the world says I must yet maintain. Surely I would be called very bold and presuming should I address her as mother now, but I can see no reason why, for I am sure I shall be no more one with you when I am recognized by the world as your wife than I am now, and if I am one with you, your mother is mine, and mine yours. But how freely I write to you James; I grow alarmed almost [sometimes] at myself lest you too will not understand me - lest you [too] will think I am presuming too much. But I cannot seperate you from the idea of myself; and write to you with the same freedom that I think. And I will too. I know that you will understand me, and I will not allow any such idle fears to have a place in my brain. Now Dearest write again next Sat. night [perhaps] and direct to Hiram. If you will write as soon as you receive this it will reach [there] during my vacation week I think. All your own as fondly as ever! Lucretia.[*Ravenna*] Williams College, Mass. Lord's Day Pitt. March 9th 1836 My Darling 'Crete, It was a late hour yesterday when the ruthless snows let your dear little message of love pass over the wide wintry waste that lies between us & reach me, but all the fierceness of the winter storms was unable to chill its warm flow of affection which came out gushing from every line to refresh my heart with its fullness. I still persist in saying that your dear letters are by far your most dangerous rivals ; but when we meet I'll very soon decide the question of choice. The difference is like that between a drop and a shower, a rose and a garden of roses; for your letters are only dear little drops of yourself. Sweet roses from the full garden of [the] your heart. [*55*]And you, too, are a-weary of the winter. Ah — and am not I also? This is the 74th that the snow has been lying deep on all our mountains and in our rallies I wrote somewhere a few days ago (was it in a letter to you?) that I longed for the time when, with all her "ethereal mildness" gentle Spring should stand upon the mountain tops and breathe upon the drifted [sun ?], till it should repent of its coldness, and weep itself away. If I said so in my last, no matter, for I still feel the same sentiment — strengthened by this weary winter's growing length. And you are soon going to spend a few weeks at your dear old home? — I know you will be glad to get back again after the tedious monotony of the school room — How long is your vacation? I shall surely have a few letters from your old room, around which cluster so many memories of "Auld lang syne". When you write to me from there, I always have a more vivid [?] [?resence], which links us back to [?] hours we have passed. [?] [?member] of sitting by the [wind??] [?] [?st] room when the peach [tr??] [?] [blossom] bloom and that tall [?] its handfuls of fragrant blossoms in at the window, when the sun was just going behind the meeting house on the hill? What sweetness of Spring flowers filled the air, and what clour delight filled our hearts! I want you to tell me all your feelings as you go over all the old beloved spots when so many times, our joy has been full. Our dear Sister Rebecca lives in Lewiston Westchester Co. N. Y. on the Connecticut line. Most of her friends and neighbors live on the Connecticut side & so they call her a Yankee girl — I very much want you to know her. I have received two letters from her since the term began. In the last she says "I shall hope to hear in your next that Lucretia will come to see [*Time of retiring during the past week o.clock Monday 12 Tuesday 2 1/2 Wednesday 1 1/2 Thursday 12 1/2 Friday 12 Saturday 12 Sun. (not yet known,) Up at sunrise — J. A. G.*]And you, too, are weary of the winter. Ah - and am not I also? This is the 74th that the snow has been lying deep on all our mountains and in our vallies. I wrote somewhere, a few days ago, (was it in a letter to you?) that I longed for the time when, with all her "ethereal mildness" gentle Spring should stand upon the mountain tops and breathe upon the drifted snow till it should repent of its coldness, and sweep itself away. If I said so in my last, no matter, for I still feel the same sentiment - strengthen by this weary winter's growing length. And you are soon going to spend a few weeks at your dear old home? - I know you will be glad to get back again after the tedious monotony of the school room - How long is your vacation? I shall surely have a few letters from your old room around which cluster so many memories of "Auld lang syne". When you write to me from there, I always have a more vivid sense of your presence, which links us back to those sweet times we have passed. Oh, do you remember of sitting by the window of the west room when the peach trees were in [blossom] bloom and that tall one reached its handful of fragrant blossoms in at the window, when the sun was just going behind the meeting house on the hill? What sweetness of spring flowers filled the air, and what calm delight filled our hearts! I want you to tell me all your feelings as you go over all the old beloved spots - where so many times our joy had been full. Our dear Sister Rebecca lives in Lewisboro Westchester Co. N.Y. on the Connecticut line. Most of her friends and neighbors live on the Connecticut side and so they call her a Yankee girl - I very much want you to know her. I have received two letters from her since the term began. In the last she says "I shall hope to been in your next that Lucretia will come to seeme, and you must always tell me about her and your mother and Miss Booth." Really, I wish you and she would correspond with each other - for I am sure you would both enjoy it very much. Almost every letter I receive from the west tells me of some new marriage till such statements have ceased to startle me - But no wonder, I have just recollected that it is a leap year - Has Oliver found the fairy "aisle" yet where connubial felicity vegetates? Pennsylvania is said to be noted for hasty matches. Please tell him that I wrote last, and I have not heard from him for six weeks, nearly - If you see Bro Harry, Rhode while you are in Hiram, I wish you would lecture him on the propriety of coming here to finish his college studies. I am going to write a letter to him in a few days. Cousin Phebe wants to be remembered to you as does also my little mother - Will you pardon this disconnected letter and take my dullness as the apology, and please find the cause of my dullness on the enclosed slip. Hoping to hear from you very soon. I am as ever your affectionate, James[*Ravenna*] Williams College. Sunday Eve. March 16th 1856 My Own Dearest, "Tell you all"? Well then, I never was prouder of you then at this blessed moment, nor half so proud! Your letters have all been precious, but you never write me such a jewel as your last which comes overflowing with strong clear thought and deep, earnest affection. But, my dear little woman, you are altogether mistaken about your "little" Jimmy's being such a tremendous fellow. Surely those "giant powers" are merely the beautiful creations which your fancy has thrown around him, and he feels himself just as much the little rollicking rogue of a boy, tonight, as he ever was. Indeed I feel a strong inclination to sit right down on the floor by your chair and lay my headin your lap, and tell you of my little struggles and successes, and look up for the approving smile and word which I know you would not deny me. Through whatever walks of thought I may pass this feeling is constantly with me. Many thanks for your remarks on the dangers of Ambition They are just and truthful, and be assured they shall be cherished by me, both for their own intrinsic worth, and for the sake of her who penned them. I do not deny that the fires have burned within me and still do — but I hope they have not "consumed the brain to ashes," as Milles [says?] nor seared the nobler impulses of the soul, is truly a great work to shew the Scyller of inactivity and irresolution, and, at the same time, avoid the Charybdis of lust for power for its own sake. I care not how much power, how much influence an individual attains in a lawful way, if he use it for the highest good, when he has obtained it. In reference to my future course, I hope I am willing to follow the path of duty wherever it may lead. I believe the first great duty of a Christian is to seek his own highest good by the highest and most harmonious activity of all the faculties of his body, mind and heart. This work will include all his duties, to God and his fellow men, which form out of his relations to them. As a prerequisite to this work, one must find his proper sphere in life, and fill that station to which he is best adapted. Now the serious and practical question with me is, "What is my place and my duty?" O I so much want to talk with you a few hours now! As you have said, I cannot do myself justice by writing. I have a plan or two, floating rather dimly in my horizon which I would gladly whisper in your ear were their proportions distinct enough to be sketched. Right at this point I find myself blessed in a strange way. I shall be obliged to teach or do something to clearmyself of the debt which will have accumulated by the time I finish my course here, and while thus "laboring and waiting" I shall trust that the same kind Hand which has so often, on my life path, pointed out the straight way, will again lead me to the post were I ought to stand - Before we can hope for such assistance, however, we must use all the means in our power, to find the right place - Darling one, I am thrice glad that you have written to me so freely and I want you to do so still more than ever Why should we not so write, "Our hopes, our fears, our aims are one"; I am already, in spirit, your husband, and you my darling wife. How many, many sweet hours have I spent in anticipating the joys of just such a scene as you described! May the time hasten when it shall all be a blessed reality! Say you not so? - I hardly know what I have written for I have thought through my pen, and it has left these tracks I send you a Sermon of our beloved President - Tell me what you think of it. Now Dearest one, tell me all that is in your heart and write very soon - I love you all the more for the dear things you said about our mothers. Give my love to your family - and one kiss from your dearest. Your James.[*Williamstown Mass*] "Home" Sunday morn. March 10th [*1856*] James- Best Loved: I took your dear letter from the office just before starting for home yesterday but not until I was within its fond embrace did I break the faithful seal which had kept its treasures locked for me alone and make them all my own. How very dear they are to my heart, and how vividly did they call up the memories of the days when you were here beside me. I went and say by the same "west window" where so many hours we have sat, and watched together the going down of so many suns. The same old peach tree was before me not blushing with floral beauty but desolate and bare; but the glad sunshine gave rich promise of its fast returning beauty, just as the bright sunshine of Hope gives to my heart the sweet promise of those swift coming hours which shall give you back again to my arms. Dearest, I wanted to write to you last evening. I felt just like it, but it was late when Father and Mother left me, and I knew if I sat up longer I should get a [*105*]lecture this morning so like a very mindful girl I sought my pillow, and surrendered myself to sweet thoughts of you, until quiet slumber stole around me, and shut me in awhile from life. Do you know what a sweet happiness it is for me just to think of you, to think that you are all mine - that you love me that I am all to you, that your love for me fills your whole heart? Does it indeed James? Is there not some vacancy, some little corner, which I cannot reach? You have said "no," and why should I ask again? but it seems to me such a mystery that such a great man as you are can be satisfied with such a little woman, as it is my fate to be. I do not think of this often however; for it so much sweeter to think that your heart asks for no other, and that the approach of that hour when you will fold me again to your heart is as joyfully anticipated by yourself as by me, and it is such thoughts that oftenest come, and their coming makes me glad. - Now my naughty boy I wonder if you have nothing to do but to think of something I did not want you to. I had fully determined to write to Rebecca and was planning a fine game we would play on you, when what should you propose but that we should "correspond with each other." I am afraid you are neglecting your studies Sir, and if I hear of anything more of the kind I shall send for you to come straight home. But I suppose it is of but little use to scold you, for I presume you could not help thinking, so I will thank you for giving her address, and some day when I am in the right mood I shall write to her. Evening - The moon is shining gloriously bright and the stars upon the dark bosom of night flash like diamonds; but the Earth still upturns only an icy face. I have been hearing again to day two sermons from Bro. Hayden. Surely he is a good man whatever he may be lacking in other respects. The church are now making arrangements for building another meeting house this summer - a brick building and much larger than the old one. The burning of the old church will in reality be a benefit to the place notwithstanding the loss; [it suffered] for as long as the old one stood they would not have built another, and it was too small for this place.-Miss. Booth and Everett and Rhodes are going to board with us this spring, and it makes me almost homesick to think of going away to [?] again and leaving such good company behind. But I shall have a week with them now, and shall come home often. I think Rhodes has about decided to graduate at Williams, at least when I last talked with him about it he seemed more in favor of that than any other place. Dearest, how I wish you would drop in now to hold me in your arms a little hour. The family have all retired, and I have drawn up before the sitting-room fire, where two years ago we used to sit occasionally together generally upon opposite sides of the stove, talking of Latin or Greek or school teaching, or anything but what we both felt most -"Love". It is two years next Tuesday evening I think since I first met you in my own room. How many were the happy hours that followed, But my first disappearing blank reminds me that I cannot stop to talk of them more. Mother sends her love, and Father does too although he has not told me so. My love again and always to Mother and to cousin Phebe also, By the way where is she this winter and what doing. I have heard nothing of any of the Boyntons since last Fall. I know I shall hear again very soon. Your ever loving "Crete". [*I am afraid you are not taking such care of your health as you might. You must not sit up so late nights. Remember Love what I say. L.*][*Ravenna*] Williams, Sunday. March 23d, 1856 Darling Crete. Your letters have become as much a necessity of my life, as the recurrence of Spring and flowers, rain and sunshine The week does not properly close up to volume of many labors, thoughts and emotions, without a dear message from you which forms the "golden clasp" to bind the volume with. When that is added, I can lay the week away with the multitudes of its predecessors, and know that a sweet odor will always come to me with the remembrance of it — I have been very well during the past week, and have reformed somewhat on my time table — having retired, generally, as soon as eleven o'clock. Our Examinations are close upon us, and in less than three weeks the standing of each Senior will be determined. Graduating honors will then be decided, and many are the palpitating hearts that have labored from [*57*]years in reference to these same honors — I can tell every man in the class whose soul seems bound up in the event. And I can see that each of them, or, I will say, a majority of them, [had] has sold what is far more valuable than College honors — their personal independence, in order to gain favor and a high standing in this trial. Though I confess that I am ambitious, yet I can truly say, that I have never swerved from my own best judgment in order to gain favor with my class or with the Faculty. On the contrary I have taken many courses (I will sometime tell you them) which I supposed at the time would have the opposite effect. I have endeavored to have a higher object than College honors before me, and yet I have endeavored to stand during the first of my class. This resolution I recorded in my journal when I first came here - A few weeks will tell the sequel, & then I will write your further in reference to it. I have written this to tell you that I feel in no wise - disturbed by it. Time was when I should have been - Some time [when] if you will love to hear it, I will tell you some of my little triumphs & successes, and let you know that they are all for you - You ask me if you "fill up all my heart". Yes, dear little creature, (and dearer because little.) you fill it all up and leave not blank space, no unoccupied chamber. Remember my mother is little, and heaven knows I never needed a better one, in one who could love me more - I am very happy in receiving a letter from that dear old room, filled with such hallowed memories. And can you realize that only a little more than four months more will pass before we shall sit there again? Hush - my heart, go not too far out upon the plane that lies in the land of the hereafter" - for an open grave may stop the journey - I have received a very kind invitation from our dear Sister Rebecca to spend the next vacation of two weeks at her home, and I have determined to do so. Would that you could be there also. She says in the letter [She says] "How much I wish Lucretia and to meet you here? Thank you for transcribing her sweet message to her unknown sister. Each word she has spoken [have]to, or of me, has opened to my heart, a love, that I too feel will be very near the type of sisterly "oneness". Many blessings on her loving spirit for cherishing "me so kindly" - I am very sorry I have interrupted your pleasant game, but I hope it will not hinder you from writing to her just as soon as though I had not first proposed. I am glad to hear that Rhodes is intending to come here & I hope he will not give it up- I wrote to him last week in regard to it. He is a noble fellow and will make a strong man. Did I tell you in my last that Cousin Ellis & Laura Ann Clark are to be married day after tomorrow? Probably you may be there & be able to write me about it - What think you of the match? I have some fears if I understand some of Laura's views correctly, but I hope it will all be well - Ellis is good man & will make a kind husband I think. A sore finger, which compels me to hold my pen backhanded is my excuse for this even worse than ususal chirography - Hoping ever to hear from you often. I am, as ever, your own affectionate James [*Have you ever seen Mrs Adams Sellers" 2 vols If not, I will try to get them & send them to you - They are very fine -*][*Williamsburg Mass*] Ravenna, March, 24th '56. Dearest:- It is already past ten - and I am very weary with my days labor, but I cannot sleep with your dear letter unanswered another night. I received it Sat. evening but yesterday was the last day of my stay at home, so I deferred answering until to day, and now you must be the sufferer for I am fully determined to write just the poorest letter possible, although I know it will be very a generous in one since your kind letter was so good and precious. Mr. Collier's people are "keeping house" this term and I am boarding with them as Mrs. Earle has gone away. I have a very nice cozy little room looking away to the rising sun, although I presume it would scarcely suit your ideas of comfort as it is upon rather a limited scale, but I am a little body and do not take much room.My visit at home was just the best you can imagine. Harvey Harry and Almeda are there and I had a fine little visit with each of them. Harry says he is now about persuaded to graduate at "Ann Arbor" although he says that he would much rather go to Williams, and would if it were not for the expenses there being so much greater than at Ann Arbor. I hope you will write to him soon if you really think that Williams is the best place for him. Harvey is teaching notwithstanding Brad Campbell's severe denunciation of all places that can be so base as to harbor such scoundrels. The prospects at Hiram are more encouraging, as far as I am able to judge of them. Do you return there? Or have you just not yet decided? Or is that plan a sketch of whose outlines I hope to receive next time - leading you away into a different course! Tell me all dearest. I must bid you good night, for I cannot keep my eyes open, but I will try and finish in the morning. Just one kiss from lips, love best then I will away to my dreams: Morning - I am another night nearer your arms than when I laid down my pen last evening - for which I was not in the least sorry. So ; and with you I say let the day hasten which shall bring the glad realization of our bright hopes. Circumstances may forbid the coming of that day as soon as we might wish. Still we will not forget that it must come sooner or later, and the hope of it will brighten all the hours that intervene before its coming. - Now James Dearest I am not going to enter into a discussion with you upon the question of your absolute or relative magnitude still I must say in vindication of my side that it is no proof at all that you are not above the medium size because you do not feel so. I presume [that] an elephant feels no larger than a mouse, still would you take that as evidence that they were equal in magnitude? I do not wish you ever to feel great; for that would be one of the surest indication of littleness.I only wish that you shall know yourself and the powers that God has given you in order that you may be in his hand an instrument for greatest usefulness. But I hope dearest that the consciousness of your superior strength may never create a disposition to tyranize over your fellow man. That, it seems to me is one of the greatest faults of great men, and Bro. Campbell - good as he is, is not free from it. - I read the sermon you sent me and am much pleased with it. But why do you ask my opinion of it? Surely it would be very presuming of me to criticize Pres. Hopkins. Sunday evening I read with Almeda two other addresses of his. His "Inaugural", and his Semicentennial delivered before the Alumni of Williams. There is so much simplicity in his style combined with such force that when I first commenced reading it seemed almost like severity, but that [feeling] soon [?????] was past in its [to the highest] beauty and sublimity." Again I must stop Pardon this miserable letter, and write again soon as [you] possible. I never forget you in any act, and ask only to be thought forever yours. Fondly: Lucretia.[*Williamstown Mass*] Ravenna, March, 27th 1856. My Own Dearest: Bless you a thousand times for that dearest of all your letters which has sped away to me so swiftly to make me all happy with its tenderness and love! and now I will sit right down and write just as good and fast as I can to make amends for that awful one I wrote last. I am afraid you are not expecting to find me such a fitful creature as I am, and so influenced by whatever circumstances may happen to surround me, consequently will be pained and disappointed when you see me indulging in such a wayward unpleasant mood, as chanced to have taken possession of me last Monday evening. I mean to be good, but sometimes such a spirit of perverseness comes over me that one might presume and justly enough too that I was possessed with a demon. Ah, a new thought strikes me; Perhaps I am demoniose, a dyan the Magilerian who alone can exorcise the evil spirit. A fine fancythat, isn't it? - Well with being ugly sometimes now, if it will only make me the more dependent upon you for my happiness! - Why did you place an 'if' before my wishing to hear from your dear lips the story of your triumphs and successes? Is it possible that you can doubt whether I would like to hear [about] it or not? - surely it will be one of my sweetest delights. But dearest, for more than all else am I proud of you that a spirit so good and noble has ever dwelt and still dwells within your heart. For honor alone I would have you strive never. Only that you may become worthy to be honored would I have you make even the slightest effort. Then it will mater little whether the world bestows upon you honors or not, for your own conscience will approve, and Heaven will reward you, and there [it] only, can make life truly blest. - It would be a real pleasure could I meet you at Rebecca's home during your vacation, but not now can I be with you there. Next Summer however [If] if I visit her, you will go with me, and we three, two, no "one" will spend a few hours united. I shall expect too or three letters from each of you while you are there telling of all the happy hours you are spending, and I will imagine myself there with you which will be very pleasant though not quite so satisfactory as if I were permitted to enjoy the reality. - Then Ellis and Laura are married. I understood they were to be soon but did not know just when. I do not know what to think of the match; for I do not know Ellis very well. Laura - good and noble as she is - is inclined to be imperious and to lead rather than be led. If the same is true of Ellis they may find themselves going in opposite directions sometimes. Still Laura cherishes a high regard for him, and if she loves him as she ought - perhaps may be influenced by him more than we would think. Does Charles know of her marriage, and if so what does he say? By the way, you do not tell me anything about Charles this winter. I hope really that you are "at peace with one another." - About next Saturday evening I wish you would drop in and spend an hour or two with me. How I will explain why, for doubtless you are verymuch surprised to see such a wish expressed by me. The Literary portion of this village - which is a small portion have formed them selves into a "Reading Circle", meeting weekly for the purpose of improving both in Literature and sociality. They have had my name some time, but as I have not been out evenings this winter I did not meet with them until two weeks ago yesterday evening, and the result was an appointment to read an Essay before them next Wednesday evening. I have not yet decided upon a topic but am going about it now and Saturday evening I shall be happy to meet you in my room to listen to a prereading of it - the essay I mean not topic - and pass your judgement upon it. I do not like to depend upon my own judgement especially when I can find anybody better to judge for me, and as I am now depending on you, unless you come, I shall probably appear before them without the least idea whether I have anything prepared worth reading or not. To be sure it will not trouble me very much for there is scarcely anything that does not help as much as I wish it would sometimes. From one of your quotations I perceive you too "have been reading" Hiawatha". Do you not think some parts of it beautiful? The imagery is so perfect, and then those long Indian names are often woven in so smoothly. I have never seen "Mrs. Adam's letters" yet. I have often seen and heard them referred to, and should be much pleased to read them. Thank you for proposing to send them to me. Again my sheet is almost running over full and I must come to the kissing place without having been with you half as long as I wanted to, or having said half that I could say. Dear one why can't you be here with us; but "let me tell you" if we ever get you home again we will chain you up so that there will be no possibility of your getting away again. This copy of the Eclectic rules I intended sending in my last but forgot it. Aff. yours forever, Lucretia.Ravenna {23 East College Williamstown { Sunday Eve March 30th 1856 Dearest Lucretia. It has become a part of my life's habit to write a letter to you each Saturday or Sunday evening. In pursuance of this habit I am seated to make another weekly (perhaps in invitation of your introducing declaration in your last I ought to say weakly) offering to the god of love that presides over our united hearts- Tyrant that he is yet "his joke is easy and his burden is light", to me. Love , how do the fitters rest upon your heart? I remember to have heard a trust several years ago, at a Fourth of July dinner, which ran something like this: "Woman's Love, the only tolerable form of slavery; by which the victim not only consents to be bound, but fondly hugs his chain." Would that I could, at this moment, fulfill the latter condition!!Indeed, Crete, I feel rather talkative and jokative tonight & I would see you, on every account - That is a very shamefully long 600 miles that stretches away between us now - But those miles are dropping away day after day till finally the last troublesome inch will have departed and then who can say I won't "hug the chain?" I have been listening to two things today, up here in the meeting house, which are commonly known as sermons - The first one was a "metaphysical oration" on the 'Beauty of Holiness" which (not the Holiness) the speaker had committed to memory & recited to us; and the other was an essay on "Eternal Damnation", a doctrine, as the Methodists say, "full of comfort", though to whom may be more difficult to conjecture - This evening I have been reading that Divine Prophet and Poet, Isaiah. I never before saw so much power and beauty in that book. The last 20 chapters are grand beyond comparison -Indeed it is to my mind a most remarkable evidence of the inspiration of the Bible, that its poetry and Rhetoric is so far beyond any other that the world has ever produced. A friend of mine was once admiring the "Address to Mount Blanc" by Coleridge, and then we compared it with Milton's "Adam's Morning Hymn." and found that the latter had far more Spiritual beauty, and a wider grasp of thought - I then proposed to read the 148th Psalm. We both agreed that in comprehensiveness of thought and vividness of expression it infinitely excelled them both - So [David] the Psalmist, 2200 years ago, was a greater Poet than Coleridge or Milton! I have also been reading from the Vulgate. It is very pleasant to see the different shades of meaning which the two versions give, and also the genius of the two languages. The Saxon race is selfish and egotistical the Roman stately and reverential - Our fathers were selfish pirates on the German ocean; the Romans were the reverent worshipers of gods of the mountain, the wood and the waves - This difference of spirit shows itself in the language of each - TheEgotistic Saxons say "We praise thee O God!" first mentioning ourselves - then what we do - and at last God is introduced in a third rate position - The pious Romans have it exactly reversed - "Te Deum laudamus" where only the last syllable indicates 'themselves' and the name of the deity introduced reverently, by a pronoun - stands in the foreground of the picture - I have never heard this remarked upon, but it strikes me as being a strong proof that the character of a nation can be learned from the structure of its language - But - surely - I have given you another proof of Saxon Egotism, by talking so much of myself and my own thoughts - Well so be it - my pen seems to be out "on a bender" tonight - and let it bend - - You ask me if I am going to Hiram to teach - I have not yet received any official invitation, and I surely shall not refuse before I am asked. If I should be asked, my acceptance would depend somewhat - upon the proposed conditions - Doubtless within three months I shall, with your assistance, decide my course for the next year or two - Whenever I obtain the data you shall know them - I have written a long letter to Harry and am expecting an answer from him - Last Friday we passed two examinations and this week will bring no two more - We are fast hastening on to the close of the term - Now Darling - a shower of sweet kisses before you say good night to your own loving Jimmy.Ravenna Williams April 6th . 1856 Sunday Evening My Own Dear Crete Though the main current of our Senior Studies has led me to the consideration and admiration of Truth Beauty and Goodness in the abstract: yet I must here confess that I admire these qualities much more when viewed in the con "Crete" and hence I find my weekly exercise of filling a sheet for the Ravenna mail the most interesting one in my College course! - How well I shall stand examination in this department - nests with my Ravenna Preceptress to decide -But metaphor aside my Darling girl I am very happy by the privilege of answering you last precious letter which was just a sweet bit of your own darling self. done up in paper- Our last examinations for the term closed last Friday- and so the burden of this terms laboris close - and to confess the truth, I am about "used up" - by late nights and busy days - On the evening of the day that our examinations closed, the whole Senior Class were invited to a party at the Presidents; He presented each of us in turn to his wife and daughters and to a company of about 20 ladies who reside in the village - After a promiscuous chat of two hours - we were regaled with ice cream, lemonade - cakes - nuts and the whole category of sweet meats - Music by the ladies, and class songs from the students concluded the sociability of the evening at about half past ten o'clock. Our President, good noble soul that he is, was all around among us, with a kind and familiar word for every body and so he adds to our admiration of his greatness; - a strong deep love for his good, kind heart - Such a man I love that can be great, and move among the sublime grandeurs of the world of thought like a giant, and can at the same time make the social circle bright and cheerful with his genial heart - He is a Lilleputian hero, who must always stand perched upon his dignity - I have just received a very dear letter from our much beloved Sister Maria Learned of Poestenkill - She is one of the choicest spirts I have been permitted to meet in this land of the east - You remember that her house is my own home while I am in the Orient - In this letter she says - "How I wish you were both in the "Prophet's chamber" (my room, when I'm there) now, where I could call to you and our dear sister Lucretia with you. Do you know how I have learned to love her not for your sake alone. I know she is good herself - Remember me with much affection to her and your dear Mother - I expect to see them both sometime -" I could not ask for finer friends than she and her husband are to me - Next Thursday I [*T- p- f- m- & d- n- k- w- t-d- b-w-n-t- i- t-y-f-t-w I'll fill out this sentence some time when I am with you - James*]is done - and to confess the truth I am about "used up" by late nights and busy days - On the evening of the day that our examinations closed, the whole Senior Class were invited to a party at the President's. He presented each of us in turn to his wife and daughters, and to a company of about 20 ladies who reside in the village - After a promiscuous chat of two hours - we were regaled with ice cream, lemonade - cakes - nuts and the whole category of sweet meats. Music by the ladies, and class songs from the students concluded the sociability of the evening at about half past ten o'clock. Our President, good noble soul that he is, was all around among us with a kind and familiar word for every body and so he adds to our admiration of his greatness - a strong, deep love for his good, kind heart - Such a man I love that can be great, and move among the sublime grandeurs of the world of thought like a giant, and can at the same time make the social circle bright and cheerful with his genial heart - He is a Lilleputian hero, who must always stand perched upon his dignity - I have just received a very dear letter from our much beloved Sister Maria Learned of Poestenkill - She is one of the choicest spirts I have been permitted to meet in this land of the east - You remember that her house is my own home while I am in the Orient - In this letter she says - "How I wish you were both in the "Prophet's chamber" (my room, when I'm there) now, where I could call to you and our dear sister Lucretia with you. Do you know how I have learned to love her not for your sake alone. I know she is good herself - Remember me with much affection to her and your dear Mother - I expect to see them both sometime-" I could not ask for finer friends than she and her husband are to me- Next Thursday Ileave for Lewisboro on my way to N.Y. City whither I am sent by the Philologian Society to make a purchase of books for its library - That accomplished I shall return to Lewisboro and spend the vacation with Sister Rebecca - I hope to get your next letter before I start. The answer to this, you will please direct to Lewisboro. I have read the "Song of Hiawatha" and am delighted with it - It will live long years after many of [his] its influences and envious critics are "dead and damned," as Chatterton says - We'll have 'it as one of the books for our library won't we' - Charles is well and doing tolerably well - He and I were never on better terms - He is greatly changed and much improved, in some respects, since he came here - I have a long story to tell you about it some day - I hope your essay came off successfully as I have no doubt it did - Tell me all about it - I have reacd an answer from Harry, in which he informs me of his determination to come here - good - Now I want to hear from you very much on a large sheet of paper menaters. Give [me] one sweet kiss to your own loving James -[*Lewiston NY*] Ravenna. Apr. 6th 56 My Own Dearest: Your last loved letter I received Thursday but it was a sort of fancy of mine to wait until today before responding; for it just four months from to day that you graduate - that Old Williams must surrender her claim upon you and yield you back again to my arms. Is it possible that these two long years have so nearly rolled themselves away? That these many long hours of our seperation are so nearly numbered? O! James, dearest, you do not know how glad it makes my spirit! How my whole nature is thrilled with joy at the near approach of that sweet hour when your dear arms will surround me once more and your fond lips be pressed to mine, and that then you will stay with me forever! I do believe that our our kind Heavenly Parent will preserve us both to that hour, that He will not allow the grave to close over either of us ere [that] it come; and fourmonths from these very hours I hope to be with you. If I am there may I not claim your last fifteen minutes of the day? The rest of that day I will not claim even a thought; you may even forget that I exist if you choose. But don't forget this appointment to meet me a few moments after all your other duties are finished; for I shall not remind you of it, whatever the circumstances may be to cause you to forget it. You may compose yourself to fill out that sentence, you sent to provoke my curiosity, as a first salutation, for unless I change my mind very much you will not get a single kiss until that is done. By the way if you had happened to have heard me fill it out I guess you would wish you had not sent it - I am glad you are feeling in such fine spirits, and I hope you always will. You will never have such a fit of the "blues" again as you had that dismal afternoon you were here last summer will you? If you do I shall certainly wish myself dead; or else wish you were, one or the other, or both. I know that I am occasionally subject to the dire malady; but I believe it is all nonsense, and I am going to try and never have them again. It is a beautiful April day. The sun is shining warm and brightly and the brown earth is putting on a slight shade of green. The little birds are warbling merrily and I thought I heard a strain of "frog melody" this afternoon - and really sweet it sounded, for it told that the winter is past. But pleasant as the day is how very much more pleasant would it be if you could only come and sit down beside me here in this dear little room before this nice east window - it is always my good fortune to get a room with an East window - and read to me of that Glorious Being who has created this world so full of beauty and placed us here, endowed with such rare and wondrous faculties for enjoying it all; and to tell me all your thoughts and emotions. Dearest do not call yourself egotistic when you write to me of your own thoughts or even of yourself, for remember it is not of yourself that you are writing but of one who is dearer to me than life itself andwhose very thought, that is committed to me, I cherish as a sacred treasure. When are we to get a peep at the "book" he was about to write a while since? I have been waiting very patiently for some time to hear something of its progress. I have been reading "Well's Glimpses of Spain" and "Davy's Alhambra" and am becoming a good deal interested in spain and spanish character. The spaniard is more oriented than most of the Europeans and tho is behind his brethren in intelligence and refinement but it seems to me there is a nobility and generosity in his character which it would be well if they could more imitate. - Do you know that the 19th of this month will make me as old as you again? - You will be with Rebecca then, and will you not both write me a letter that day? I wonder if she is not just my age? I am sure she ought to be. My love to her when you see her. - Where are you reading now? This evening I read Romans 5th. And are we still together? Now, dearest, I know that I shall hear again very soon, then I will fill another sheet for your blessed eyes. As ever yours with a kiss and all my love; Lucretia.Well James you have placed me in a dilemma surely; for I dont believe I know a dress-coat from a frock-coat, consequently how can I tell you which to get: I hope I shall not always be so ignorant of the science of coatology, in fact I will examine ever coat I meet and learn which is the most becoming so that I shall be able to decide in the future just what kind of a coat you should wear: but remember that if I determine the cut of your coat you must decide not only the cut of my dress but the material and color. That will be fairfor you here three times the judgement I have. Yours Fondly: LucretiaM'avez vous pas amoure d'ecrive une lettre francais Monsieur? S'il vous plait, vous pouvez en ecrire une Je sais que nous etes non tres beau ecolier francais et je serais tres beaucoup contente de correspondre avec vous Monsieur, Ne plus. L. Do you not wish to write a French Letter Mr.? if you please you can write one - I know that you are a very fine french scholar and I would be very much pleased to correspond with you. Mr No more[*Ravenna*] Lewisboro: Westchester Co. N.Y. Sunday Evening , April 13th . 1856. My Own Darling Crete, At 7 o'clock Thursday morning I left Williams in the stage for North Adams where I took the cars and on was rattling along the beautiful valley of the housatonic - I could echo the words of O. W. Holmes "Come spread your wings as I spread mine, And leave the crowded halls. For where the eyes of twilight shine On evening's western wall. These are the pleasant Berkshire hills. Each with its leafy crown; Hark from their sides a thousand rills Come singing sweetly down - A thousands rills: and still they run With ripples, shade and gleam; Till, clustering all their braids in one They flow, in single stream. A bracelet spun from mountain mist, A silvery each unwound [*60*]With oxbow curve and sinuous twist It writhes to reach the Sound" - About middle of the afternoon we reached Bridgeport Conn - and while waiting there an hour for the cars I visited the residence of the "late" P. T. Barnum" - as the papers have styled him since he has become bankrupt - It is said to be the most magnificent private dwelling in America - built after the model of a Chinese Pagoda - When the hour was ended I took the cars on the N.Y. & New Haven Road and about half past six in the evening reach the Norwalk Station where I found our dear Sister Rebecca awaiting me - After a pleasant drive of 12 miles we were seated in her pleasant home - Imagine me, there in a quaint looking snug old building - on a north and south road with two venerable elms standing in front [of] moss-covered walls enclosing all the fields - and 12 miles away - on the skirt of the blue horizon we can see the placid waters of the Sound - and many white-winged sails skimming along its gentle bosom- Still beyond across the sound - we can see the blue hills and sandy beach of Long Island. It is a lovely sight - to sit here as the evening draws on - and watch the bright water in the blue hills and the still bluer sky, as they melt away into each other - and commingle till they are lost " in the purple mists of evening" and then I can discern the glimmer of the lighthouse on the Island pouring forth its beacon rays to the pilgrims on the sea - Indeed this is a lovely spot - & I only need your loved presence to make the hours full of bliss - I am much wearied and worn by the unusual labors of the past term - but our precious sister has made me feel so perfectly at home that I shall be soon reconciled I am sure I have brought down a full supply of books and we have been reading Tennyson and Scott - and shall also read some of our humorous Dickens' tales - Would that youcould be with us- Not an hour passed but that ^she speaks of you and wished you here- She sends much love- and says she will send a letter the next time I write- Meantime she is hoping to receive one from you- In a day or two I shall go on to New York and remain there four or five days on business- and then return- I did not receive your last before I left but am expecting it will be forwarded to me by the next mail- There are but two mails a week here and I suppose this will not go out before Tuesday but I cannot let his evening pass without saying a few words to you- Now Dearest - you will write to me very often and tell me all about your own darling self- I shall hope to be able to send you the next Quarterly before this week is out- How long is this term of your school and when does it close? I have just heard that our vacation has been lengthened one week- Hoping to hear from you right soon I am forever thine own lover JamesRavenna, April 13th /56 My Own Dearest: No wonder that the heavens are bright and the earth glad whenever it is my sweet privilege to spend a loved hour in communion with your spirit for such a happiness belongs not to the dark and the tempest, or rather it should say perhaps it is no wonder that I was prevented writing to you last evening as I designed, for one of the blackest darkest clouds I ever beheld swept over the sky with its fiery legions just the hour when I should have been so engaged, and, though I felt how sweet, how very sweet it would have been could you have [?] beside me there with your fond protecting arm around me, still I was glad that circumstances had stayed my hand from writing for surely a letter penned beneath such darkness would be little worthy the regard of your dear eyes. Then too I should have feared it might be prophetic of some darkness gathering over our future: for the whole week had been so very beautiful, and all my thoughts of you so glad and sunny that I am sure all my superstitions would have been aroused had I ended it by writing to you in such a storm. I do believe I never spent a whole week more sweetly than last. I sat by in my rocking chair before my open window, by the hour, dreaming. It seemed to me that everything bright and beautiful in all my Past was lived over again, every sound I heard, every sight that I saw called up some sweet memory and made it dearer to me than ever before. Do you not have such days? I know you do. And are there not very many of them in our future which we are to spend with no long miles between us? I am glad that you are enjoying another vacation, and tell Sis Rebecca, for me, that she must take the best care of you possible so that you may get thoroughly rested before you commence your work again. Tell her that I should be very happy to release her from duty if I could, but as I cannot, she must do the best she can, and I will take my turn next vacation. So please don't let her see this letter; for she will surely laugh at me, and it would be a double portion to write so many silly things and be laughed at in the bargain. I have been listening again to day to one of B.P.'s sermons, which was rather better than most. He has not preached here before for more than six months. He has been preaching in several places and I guess I thinks he has been almost over the habitable globe, at least I should judge so from some of his remarks; but I had no business to say this for it is only one of this failings to make "I" so conspicuous. He has I presume been doing much good. He still thinks that he will go to Williams next August; and says that he has written two letters to you, he thinks, since he has had one from one, but says, tell you "to be very sure that he has written to you before you write again for if you should happen to write too letters without receiving an answer he could never forgive you". And I thought there was a little bitterness in his tone. I hope he is not offended at anything you have written to him. Of course my essay came off successfully. Did you ever know me to fail? It wasn't one surely not one who attempted "a dedicatory" once, and stumbled and blundered through part of it and omitted the rest! No that is some poor silly creature whoit has been your misfortune to dream about, as for one I never fail; consequently the idea I have of appearing a few evenings since before one of our circles and finding all my dignity evaporate through a voice that would tremble "like a reed shaken by the wind" is only an illusion. Do bless I did very well. As for the essay itself you shall have the privilege of judging of its merit for yourself sometime, if you wish. Give my love to Sister Maria and tell her that I hope to meet her at Williams next Commencement, and continue that acquaintance so pleasantly commenced through you. And if Heaven spares as to that time when one hour shall be ours then she must come and make a[?] long visit. Will it not be one of our sweetest delights to make our home a haven for the homeless, and a place where all our friends will love to linger. I do not intend to be extravagant in anything earthly but if ever there will be a temptation to it, it will be in filling up a home. Many seem to think that what is spent for such a purpose is thrown away, but it never appears so to me, every charm that is added to home is another safeguard from sin. So to me it seems, and if all the homes of the world were made beautiful and attractive and the sweet spirit of peace & love made to dwell within them. the strong holds of vice would soon be depopulated. Now dearest you see I have filled this sheet very full and I shall expect an answer with not a word less than you find here. Give my best love to Rebecca, and write again very soon. Send me one darling kiss upon the golden wings of this glorious sunset, and remember me still as fondly thine: Lucretia.[*Ravenna*] Lewisboro: Sunday, April 20th 1856 My Darling Crete. All this dreamy morning I have heard the gentle "patter of the soft rain on the roof" and the rainy rhythm of its clatter against the window panes - If is too stormy to attend meeting which is five miles away and So Sister Rebecca and I have been reading some of Tennyson's sweet songs and now she has made me a fire in my little chamber and left me alone that I may commence with my heart's treasure that is so far away to-day - A neat little fire place with a cheerful blaze upon its hearth- a clean rug before it for my feet - and a cozy little stand by my side and a sense of just enough cold without to make the little blaze a blessing - are the pleasant circumstances which surround me - The chair in which I am seated is just wide enough for two - and how I wish you were here to fill the other half or [*61*]if it were only half as wide I should be as well pleased - for them I could hold the precious burden of yourself - on my own heart. Yesterday I was blest by the perusal your two dear letters which came at the same time - the one forwarded from Williams and the other coming direct - I have not space to thank you enough for such loved tokens of your heart's affection - Suffice it to say that every expression of endearment found the fullest response. I returned from N.Y. and reached here Friday night at 11 o'clock after three days of wearisome bustle in the "great city" - I made a purchas of about $7.50 worth of books for the Philologian Library and for private individuals - Four of the new books I brought up here with - a new volume of poems by S.G. Whittier - another - "The House by the Sea" by T.B. Read - Kingsley's "Yeast" and "Rogers Table Talk" - the old Poet Laureate of England who died a few weeks since aged 92 - These will furnish all the reading we shall be able to do and perhaps more - Another item business in N.Y. was to take some steps toward publishing that book of which you inquired - I have sketched the outline of it and have most of the materials collected - Another also - was to get my lithograph taken. Our class will nearly all have theirs and so each will have a bound volume containing the picture and autograph of each member - So you may hope to receive the "whiskered likeness" before long. Those College honors of which I have before spoken have been awarded - 10 is the mark for a perfect recitation - and those who is recitative examinations - speaking, writing, attendance on prayers & church - average for the whole course 9 9/10 receive honors - Each in that department in which he particularly exceld - There are six in our classes - quorum pars sum - That'll do. Our vacation has been lengthened one week more this is marked in the catalogue - and I am right glad of it for I never needed rest more than now. Eight weeks more of hard study and the struggle is over - Then "Westward ho!" and farewell to the Orient for the moment.I tried all over the city to find Mrs Adam's letters, but could not - They are out of print and I regret it very much for I am charmed with them - I don't see how John Q. Adams could have avoided being a great and good man as he was - having such a mother - I am glad you are reading Irving's Alhambra - indeed anything he write is charming - The advantages I have of becoming acquainted with books I prize very highly - I wrote to Miller last but will write again - am anxious to see your essay - What are you teaching now? Have you heard to doing of the Eclectic Trustees at their late meeting? Am anxious to hear - In lingua Gallorum, non tibi correspondence possum- in audere worten Ich kaun es nicht- - Rebecca sends a heart full of love to you and will send a letter along with this if she gets time - She says we must surely visit her if you come down to commencement - If you write immediately on the receipt of this, your letter will find me here afterwards at Williams or Paesten Kill. Fondly thine own James56 Ravenna. Sunday morn. Jan 25th James My Own: I did not receive a letter from you last week, and it makes me feel a little lonely this morning. When I came from the office yesterday I felt a little vexed with you for I thought you might have written certainly now it is vacation with you; but I did not allow "the sun to go down upon my wrath" for long before its parting beams stole out from beneath the dark cloud curtains to leave a kiss of reconciliation upon my brow my spirit had placed one very repentantly upon yours, and any determination not to answer your next for six weeks after it was received was changed to a much more conciliatory purpose, of which this letter is the result. I know that there is some good reason why you have not written and I will love you just as well as ever though I cannot hear from you for I know that I am still loved, and this is a great deal more than I deserve and enough to make me veryhappy of itself alone; still you know it is a striking feature of human nature never to be satisfied with what it possesses, and notwithstanding the wealth which I know is mine in your affection, yet it is ever asking for those sweet manifestations of it, your dear letters bring, and it ever will be with you are with me your own dear self. Then, dearest, I know not what more I can ask. Acquisitiveness will have to direct its energies into another channel I'm sure; for the limit will be reached in that, so it appears to me now, but perhaps not, Perhaps each point gained will but reveal to us new heights of happiness in and love to which we shall so eagerly aspire. I hope so. Do you not also dearest? Would you place any limit to the development of our mutual love? No I am sure you would not, so long as it does not result in idolatry, and that it never can, if it is that pure and holy love which has been sanctified by the approval of Heaven. Afternoon - Dear James I have done very wrong in writing what I have about Dr P. and sincerely I repent of it. If I were half as good as he is or did half as nearly right I should not have spoken or written of him as I have. He preached to us today for the last time, and before doing he talked to us so kindly and manifested such a true Christian spirit that I was glad to hide my face and let the bitter tears upbraid me for my unkindness. I believe it his aim to live a true Christian and devote all his powers to the cause in which he is engaged, and it was so ungenerous so unchristian in me to speak of his failings as I have, rather I should, as a sister, have tried to correct them. Never allow me to speak of another's failings again. Bid me be silent and think of my own. I will thank you for it, dearest. I am sure I shall hear from you within a day or two, and think I will not finish this and send it out until I do. Wednesday morning. I did not receive your dear blessed letter until this morning and I must finish this in about five minutes so that it can go out to day. Dearest I have not one word to say for my self for allowing an unkind thought of you because I did not receive your precious message before. I do not deserve to be pardoned. I ought to have known thatthe mails alone were to blame not you, but I hope I shall never be so wicked as to censure you again. I am so glad that you have found another sweet home with Rebecca and I hope you will enjoy your visit there the best possible. Indeed I know you will: [for] with such a dear girl for company. How I should enjoy being with you! But I think of you every hour and am with you in spirit. And does not this make your house more glad? Ah, James I am sure. There is no earthly happiness more dear to my heart than to make you happy. - Our term class [the] July 4th, or ten weeks from next Thursday the 3d. I cannot write you much about myself or school this morning but I will write you soon and tell you more. My best love to Rebecca and tell her I would [have] write to her now if I were not in such a hurry. I hope to hear from you both in a few days. With much love your own forever: Lucretia.[*Ravenna*] Lewisburg, April 26th 1856. Sunday Evening Lucretia, My Own Darling, The whole week has passed, and yet no[t] letter - from the mistress of my heart - I fear you are unwell - or some calamity of the kind has befallen you - If you are not I know that a dear letter is on the way and will reach me soon - I am so accustomed to receiving your loved letters at the expected time - that I am always humbled when they do not come - They have become such a large part of my hearts food. that you do not know how soon I should starve without them - But I know the mails come here irregularly & slow for one of my letters lay four days before it went out of the office - [*62*]The last week passed off very pleas- antly in reading - writing - walking and talking - Rebecca is surely one of that small circle that my spirit loves to claim as kin - How that cir- cle has grown small as years have advanced! Has it not been so in your own case? Years ago - there were many that I numbered on the list, but a new acquaintance - & some trial of the "stuff they are made of" has made them drop off one by one. till now but few remain - but those few are the pure gold - with no admixture of alloy - Today we attended Methodist meet- ing at Ridgefield on the Connecticut side. It is one of finest little New England vill ages I have yet seen. There is such an air of quiet comfort and neatness about it, that one cannot help loving it much. I would you could be with us and en joy some of the fine drives we have here and the rambles among the rocks of which last there is a great abundance in this country. - We have kept on read- ing most of the time - Have read Kingsley's "Least" - "House by the Sea" - a new Poem - also a new volume of poems by J. G. Whittier and some of Shakespeare's plays - Do you know how I long for the privilege of reading with you and talking of the thoughts of the authors whom we love? - You have a reading circle there in Ravenna have you not? Wasn't it that before which you read your essay? Ah! I shall hope to have a peek at that soon -- I shall have here next Tuesday and after a short stay in New York City far up the Hudson to Troy and thence, to Poestenkill. I should leave Monday - but there is a mail coming on Tuesdayand I cannot leave till I see if there is not a letter from your own dear hand - The Quarterlies are out but, through a blunder of the Publisher this bundle that I ordered - sent here to me was not sent - So I can not send you any till I return to College - I am having my lithograph taken in N.Y. and as soon as it is done I will send you some - Oh! I grow restless under the hours that separate me from you - and I long for the moment when I can feel the precious burden of your dear head resting on my heart - Do you not look forward with some longing for that happy day? - I hope you do - I will not seal this till I am on my way to Poestenkill - for it would would reach you no sooner - Heavens upon you my own dearest one - Fondly thine own James[*Lewiston NY*] Home. Apr 27th '56. My Own Dearest: It is a smiling, beautiful Lords day and if it were not a sick head that is keeping me at home alone I should enjoy its sweet quietness I cannot tell how much, and as it is I am very happy for it is such a concentration of bliss to sit down in my own home and write to you. The [Phill_Japor?] is prevailing at Ravenna considerably, and I don't know but it is designing an attack upon me; but I hope the horrors of starvation will prove effectual in frightening it away so that I can return to my school again to-morrow. I have not written to you much about our school of late because I had so little that was pleasant to write. Mr. Collier is a fine teacher and a pleasant agreeable man, and the scholars all like him and respect him as a teacher, but for his authority they have but little regard; consequently our school is nothing more or less than "a badly governed school". I thought it would be very fine to be relieved of the responsibility of government, and act only as an assistant, but I sometimes wish that I were back again in the Intermediate alone. Deficient as I am [*112*]myself in the ability to govern - I do believe I could maintain better order if I were alone than I am able to now. When I attempt to enforce any point of order I am immediately reffered to Mrs. Collier's room where they do so and so, and although I generally succeed in convincing them that some other way would be better for us still it is a continual source of vexation. Then the rooms are very inconvenient and unpleasant, and overhead there is a printing-office with all its noise and confusion. Taking all together I can scarcely tell sometimes whether I am in the body or out; and if I do not hear unspeakable words, I am certainly very conscious of strange sounds coming to my ears. Dear me if I did not get a sweet letter from you every week and could not come home very often I am sure I should get the blues. I do not now however. I try and make the best of it and do the best I can and console myself with the thought that the weeks are fast hasting away. Only ten weeks more of this term and I do not believe I will go back again even should they want me. I presume you have learned how well they are doing here this spring. They have a fine corps of teachers now, and a good class of students also a larger number than ever before during a spring session. There is quite an excitement among them now about filling up the seminary. They are preparing to paper the upper chapel and the Delphic Society are fitting up the lower chapel for a Lyceum room. They are preparing for a public exhibition and intend having an admittance fee to be appropriated to that purpose, and are quarrelling now about [the] [amount] what that shall be. - I [did] have not received any letter from you since Wednesday but hope to find one there when I return. By wednesday's mail I received from Williams a schedule of the Honors of the College as announced Apr. 25th 1856. Dearest you know my heart too well to wish me to write all it feels, I will only say that in nothing has my "Fancy" - if it was that which told me you were good and great - deceived me, but in all things do you prove yourself even superior to my highest expectations. Monday eve. - Again in Ravenna and as well as ever. My fast yesterday has completely cured me, and now Jamie Love you must take the best care of yourself possible. Do not go back again to College until you are entirely rested and don't kill yourself studying when you are there. Remember that you are mine and if you do not take the best care of yourself I shallnot consider you faithful to your trust. I found a dear letter here as I anticipated, which I have read over and over again lest there should be some sweet I had failed to extract. Dearest do you know how much nearer each sweet message from you brings you to my heart? and how much more confidingly it yields its whole self into the sweet embrace into which your love receives it? Do you know too how my whole spirit yearns for that blissful hour when I shall be folded again to your loving heart? - I am glad that such rare opportunities are yours for becoming acquainted with the world of Literature and how would I love to enjoy it with you. My knowledge is so limited and my progress is so slow! but I am looking away to bright hours in the future when you shall be my guide. I do not get a great deal of time for reading this spring but what I have had for a week or two I have spent with Moral Philosophy, and [I] now have President Hopkin's Lectures [up] on the evidences. I hope we shall find Mrs. Adam's letters sometime. I want to read them. A kiss for your efforts to obtain them. I have not learned what was accomplished at the late Trustee's meeting. But Almeda says that Bro. Hayden fully intends and expects that you will return to the Eclectic next Fall When you will learn this from him however is altogether another thing. you know he is never in a hurry. — I am trying to teach Mental Arith. Gram. Algebra French and Botany. The last is almost new to me it has been so long since I studied it, and I am becoming a good deal interested in it. There is beauty in every thing that God has made, and it is a delightful employment to trace it out. — Again I must say the "good bye" and return to my duties. I send this to Lewisboro hoping it will reach you before you leave, I will send my love to Rebecca in the morning when you are leaving: Lucretia [*I shall be most happy to receive the "whispered likeness", and a great deal happier when the original comes. Lu*][*Ravenna*] Troy, New York May 1st/56 Thursday Morn Lucretia My Own, I have just landed from the boat and will add a few words to the letter which has been lying on my hand much longer than I could have wished. By putting it in the Office here today - it will reach you as soon as it would had I left it in Lewisboro. I received your last precious letter just as I was leaving Lewisboro, Tuesday evening. It had been a long time since I had heard a word from you - but I know it was owing to the mails - It was most refreshing. I assure you - to receive your dear assurances of affection into my waiting heart after so long a silence - On Tuesday Evening Rebecca took me about half way to the Sound and the stars over night met the relatives of here. Early yesterday morning she took me to the Steamboat landing, at Norwalk - and at 7 o'clock we were gliding down the river toward N.Y. City - I have had a very pleasant two weeks at her home - and I am much refreshed and invigorated for the work of the closing term - We enjoyed a very pleasant passage down the Sound - among the many island of arms and the myriad white winged sails that were floating on its glassy surface - One thing was wanting -- society - I never could enjoy beautiful Scenery alone - and do you know dearest; what dear waist my arms long to encircle? Yes, right well you know, and I hope we may some day enjoy it together - In three hours & a half we were in the city - After a few busy hours, [*23*]I was on board the "Rip Van Winkle", and after a tolerably fine night's rest, I find myself in Troy - I shall go out to Poestenkill this evening, where I shall spend nearly a week and then away to the work of College - I shall not have much rest at P- for there are so many places I must call at - I did not think you said anything so very bad about O. P. as to cause you so much regret as your last letter expressed, though I do think that notwithstanding his peculiar ties which we so cordially and fully dislike, he intends to do what is right - It is sometimes difficult to tell just what estimate to put upon our friends, and it is quite important to have a correct one - I received a letter from him since I wrote to you last and I shall answer it at the earliest opportunity - I can sympathize with your disappointment in not receiving my letter at the expected time; but, darling, you won't think again, that your own James has neglected you - will you? I have written regularly every week for four month I am too selfish not to do so - for I so much need your, dear letters - I will send you a Lithograph in a few days and I want your criticisms upon it. I am sorry that I could not find "Mrs. Adams Letters" for you. for I think you would like them very much indeed - A few days ago - Rebecca and I went out in search of Spring flowers - and picked the first Hepatica for you - She will send it in her next letter. I should have sent it in this, but carelessly left it at Lewisboro. Direct your next to Williams - I hope to have one forwarded to Poestenkill from Lewisboro - Wanting more than ever to see you & hoping soon to hear from you. I am forever Your own affectionate James -[*Williamston Mass*] Ravenna. Late eve. 202. May 3d '56 My Own Darling: How would I love this very evening to rest my head upon your fond heart and tell you with my lips how much I thank you for this dear letter so good and long which has hastened from your hand to make my soul so glad by its presence, and my heart bound with a deeper delight. Though that exact privilege is denied and I must yet wait, wait, wait for that happy hour - still it seems some times that waiting will never cease - yet I cannot wait until tomorrow before saying once again 'I love you', strange that this never becomes an old sting; that it still thrills my soul with that same new rapturous delight it did when first I dared give it utterance. And will it ever be thus? Will not long years - should Heaven spare us to see them - are which rob these sweet words of their magic? I hope not. nor do I believe they will if we live true lives; for will there not be ever new developments of the hearts affections which will make these words forever new? Yes even though a century should roll its [*113*]weight of years on us yet will not our love be fresh as in youth's dewy morn? But I shall not write more to night - one kiss love- would that these lips might touch your brow if but for one moment Sunday afternoon. Not less than last evening do I wish you were with me this beautiful afternoon to make me enjoy it better. The heavens are so glad and smil- ing and the Earth so fresh and beautiful that I long for some kindred spirit near, and no one can quite fill up the measure of my happiness but you 'my best loved'. O how near to Heaven would it be if you were only here to hold me in your arms and look out with me over this little spot of beauty which greets my eye. It seems to me the fields were never so green before nor the little flowers so exquisite in their loveliness - that the birds never before sang so sweet- ly nor the sun shone with such a glad radi- ance as this bright Spring. Perhaps it is a more perfect consciousness of your deep devoted love and the new depths of affection which it has opened up in my heart that makes all seem so "passing fair". Indeed I hope it is, for then these bright days will prove but the earnest of those far brighter when to your love will be add- ed your dear presence. Although I never think of you without feeling a wish that you were with me, still when absorbed in the business of the week I am not so sensibly impressed with my need of your presence as when I sit down in my room alone Sunday afternoon. Then I feel very much like rebelling against the destiny that seperates us, and if there was the faintest hope of success I certainly would; and your sanctum might say farewell to quiet. But do you know, dearest, that there will be only twelve or thirteen Sundays more before we spend another together? - Charley Geste has been preaching to us today and he has done admirably. Charley is making a fine speaker and gives promise of becoming a useful man. Indeed he is now; for whatever he may be lacking in experience is more than supplied by his goodness. And you dearest [have been] are with the friends at Poestenkill today and I doubt not have spoken to them. I have thought of you often to day and for a moment forgotten that I was hearing Charley and im- agined myself listening to your dear voice.Did you imagine a pair of familiar eyes were watching you? James I never love you better than when I see you before me a preacher of the Gospel. Whatever good or great you may become never will you be dearer to me than in proclaiming the truths of Christianity. And surely it should be so. for is not our Christian Hope the strongest bond that unites our hearts? What would love or life be worth were it not for that? - Have been reading to day two of President Hopkin's lectures on the Evidence the fifth and sixth. The 5th is mostly new to me and I think it one of the best I have yet read. The adaptation of Christianity to accomplish the highest development of all our moral and intellectual powers seems to me an argument for it which cannot be withstood. - Your lithograph will be criticized very closely I can assure you, and I flatter myself that I am able to judge of the correctness of that if of nothing else. Jim & Mrs. Collier are very anxious to get a peep at you and I think I will favor them with a sight if it is good, Mrs. C. has been regretting very much that commencement at Williams [did] does not come until after I leave here. But if they stay here perhaps they may have the privilege of seeing you yet sometime. - My Essay is not worth sending to you. I will send it to you some time when I have nothing else to do. We have had a reading circle here but it is adjourned now until Fall. I hope this will be before you at W- for I do not like to have you waiting for my letters. It is far pleasanter to think that I am always making you happy. Knowing that I shall be again in a few days I remain yours with truest love, Lucretia [*P. S. I shall read the Quarterly with a great deal of pleasure. Any thing that comes from you is precious. L. Thank you for that pretty little flower which Rebecca will send.*][*Ravenna*] Poestenkill, May 4th 1856. Sunday Evening - My Own Dear Lucretia. The evening after I wrote to you from Troy I came here and found an affectionate welcome to my dear home at Sister Learned's. Most of the time since then had been spent in calling on the different families of the Brethren and visiting here all I can get time to - To day I have been attending meeting and Sunday School with the Brethren here. I spoke two discourses one this morning and another this evening. The house was crowded more this evening than it usually is and we had a very pleasant time. I cannot tell how I succeed [*64*]in speaking. I want your criticisms and yet you have never heard me only under very adverse circumstances - I very much want to have a long talk with you in reference to my future course of life and my duty in regard to choosing some calling. I am coming near the place of embarkation within a few months, and I must needs know something of the vessel in which I am to sail - The distracted and disorganized state of the Brotherhood rather repels me from them and renders the ministry an unpromising field - I am desirous of doing what I ought in duty to ourselves and to the world around us. You know, dearest, that I have no thought of the future in which you are not a part of my hopes and happy expectations, and I would hear from you fully on all such points which so nearly affect us. O there is such a want in my heart for an ear of affection into which I can pour all my hopes and fears - joys & sorrows, longings and yearnings - & I know, my own Darling that you would love to hear me and feel with me all these things - This is my great and super abounding joy - and my spirit longs for the hour when this troublesome distance which now separates us shall melt away and our hearts shall know no intervening vail Whatever darkness or doubt may hang over the future and its duties and hopes, there is one bright vision that always sheds its brightness upon the whole horizon that stretches away before me. If a cloud ever seemed to arise, your own loved presence pain[ed] it with silver and firing[ed] it with gold - As you know how much I love what you wrote to me about a monthago in reference to adorning and beautifying a home and making it full of earthly comfort? My whole heart had always echoed that sentiment No pains can be lost, that are spent in rendering the home where the holiest affections dwell attractive and happy - Let all the little adornments, that we can bring in be clustered around it and let us make it all that two fond & confiding hearts can wish it - If I am visionary, check me and temper my hopes down to the sober reality - I am hoping to hear from you again soon - Sister Learned sends a whole heart full of love to you - I shall stay here till the last of this week or the first of next but as soon as next Monday week at least. I shall return to College - I shall send this letter to Troy at the first opportunity - for there are but two mails per week here, with a love changeless & true I am your own James.[*Williamstown Mass*] Ravenna. Sunday May 12th [*1856*] My Dear Loved One: There is nothing that brings me nearer to you or makes me feel more entire oneness with you than to know that there are hours - although so many long miles - stretch away between us - when our thoughts flow in the same channel; as your dear letter tells me they did one week ago - each longing for the others presence that more perfect might be our spirits communion and more entire our heads' deep joy. But far more intensely does my whole heart long for your presence here to day, that we might talk of all those things of which you have written while the fond kiss and the loved caress should be our hearts' sweet language. Darling I am lonely and I cannot help it. This morning I awoke with the first singing of the birds, and almost my first thought was of your last letter and what you had written inreference to your future course. Should you devote your life to the ministry? Although what I wrote the last time regarding it is no less true now still when I thought of the minister's home such as it is among our brethren with his wife alone almost ever, it seemed to me I could never never endure it. I did not know before that my heart was so supremely selfish and crushing back the tears I arose knelt before my open window and upon the morn's first breath sent home to Heaven a petition for strength to bear this my cross if mine it must be. My spirit was calmed but all day it has been sad and more than once I have surprised the tell tale tear ready to start from my eyes, and how much do I want you here to talk to me and make me stronger; for if it is your duty to devote your life to such a calling - if it is there you can accomplish the greatest good I must not - will not be the one to deter you from it, great as may be the sacrifice it [may] will cost me. Although our home will be no home without you, still if duty call you from it, I will try and be happy send you from my arms with a cheerful smile and encouraging word, and treasure up all my love to lavish upon you at your return. Yes, darling, I will try and do all this, and aid you all that lies within my power and Heaven helping me I believe I can; for I am growing stronger and happier now that I have told you this resolve, and in a few weeks more I shall be taken to your arms again then we will talk of all these things, and whatever may seem to be the right course for you I hope I shall be ready to yield my willing assent to it. Dearest I hope you are not "visionary" in your hopes for the future; for I am sure it is my desire to make your life even brighter than you expect; I may fail, but of one thing I am sure; if I do, it will be through inability alone. Friday I received from sister Rebecca a darling letter containing that sweet little flower you plucked for me also two from her garden walk. She is a noble girl truly with a heart so full of love and gentleness. I long to see her and clasp her dear form to my heart, and soon I hope to. You know thatyou are to be with us when I visit her consequently I shall leave it partly with you to decide when it shall be - whether before or after commencement. Our school here closes July 2d and if its your wish I can visit her as well before as after if I can find any company to go with - I don't know whether I dare start alone or not - If I can I almost hope you will say before so that our separation may be shortened a few days. I am sure there will be very happy hours that we spend with her in her sweet home and I look away to them with a great deal of pleasure. Will she not return home with us? She said nothing about it in her letter - although I sent a very urgent request that she should in the note I put in a letter to you. Give my best love to Sister Leonard when you next see or write to her. I long to see and know her also. I need not say that I hope to hear from you soon again. I know I shall; for each week brings its faithful message to gladden my life with its treasures from your overflowing heart of love. Heaven's choicest blessings be thine Love. Save one kiss for this evening to bestow when we are clasped in love's embrace again. Fondly thine, Lucretia.[*Ravenna*] Williams, May 12th 1856 Monday Evening, Dearest Lucretia - I arrived in town two hours ago - and having just now cleaned my carpet from the plaster which the repairs of the College mason have left upon it - and having made some hasty settlement of my disordered room - but by no means a regular "clarin up time" I am by my desk - that same old desk laden with so many hallowed memories - to write to my "ownest own" darling - A little more than a month ago I travelled out of town between large banks of snow - and amid the soaring winter blasts. Now I return on a carpet of green grass, and under the shadow of budding trees - I can see piles of [*65*]snow upon the tops of the mountains but Spring, like love "is of the valley." I expected to return last Wednesday, but I could not well get away from the brethren and so I staid and spoke to them again yesterday - Sister Maria sends her best love to you and is very glad to hear that you are coming. She says we must spend most of our time at her home - which is indeed and in truth my home - I know of no one that on earth where I feel more at home than at her house - I hope there is a letter here from your own dear hand, but the friend who has taken my letters from the office for me is absent for an hour or two and I am obliged to wait for his return before I can know whether I shall be so blest or not. Your last letter was forwarded to me from Lewisboro by Rebecca and a note accompanying told me how happy you made her by the letter you sent - I told her to open the letter from you and if there was one for her from you take it out - I am very glad you have written to her. Do you know dearest, how much dearer you are to me and how proud I am of your noble heart from the fact that we can both love and cherish the love of that dear Sister - without lessening the joyousness of our own and it heightens and purifies and enables our love still more if possible - My friend has just come in and given me a package of letters - your dear one among them. It was so good and thoughtful of you to send it to meet and cheer me on my return - And such an offering of your heart! how gratefully and joyously is it received and cherished by my own! Bless you for it.send you accompanying this a copy of the March Quarterly - and in it a lithograph. My articles and Charles' are marked on the cover- I have ordered the Lithographer to make my earlocks a little more bushy before he strikes off any more pictures - When I sat for the daguerrotype my hair was, for once, lying down close to my head which makes me look unnaturally sleek - Give me your Criticisms - on both the picture and the Quarterly - You asked me some time ago where my New Test- reading is - This evening I shall read the first chapter of Galatians- Are you there? Rebecca is reading with us & so is my little mother - Now comes the busiest and most laborious part of the College course, during the next eight weeks - Expecting soon to hear from you again - One sweet kiss darling, before I close by signing myself forever your own James[*Ravenna*] Williams. May 18th 1856. Sunday Afternoon. My Own Beloved. Slowly, beautifully, sadly the sun is gliding down to the mountain top that stands walled up against the western sky, on the horizon's "purple most rim." Along its beamy track - the clouds are gathered "flockwise", all tinted with with pensive, golden loveliness. The fragrant breath of spring is streaming through my open window, and bring to me the sweetest odors of mountain and valley and the happy carols of a thousand joyous birds - Why should not my spirit drink in all the loveliness of the scene, and rejoice in harmony with the rejoicing world? Well, simply because it is not here! The thousand buds are just bursting - and the youngleaves have unfolded half their breadth since morning. But while they have been expanding, my heart has caught up the memories of two years ago - and has been away to your west window, where the whole line of blossoming trees stretches away onward as far as the eye can reach - and though the sight is not half so gorgeous as the one I now look upon, yet the memory of it touches my heart far more than this. There is no season of the year when I long for your presence so much as in the spring - The birds are darting away towards you and I feel like telling them what our good Tennyson told his swallow - "O Swallow, swallow, flying west, fall thou [upon] Upon her golden eaves and pipe & thrill And cheep and twitter twenty million loves." O swallow, were I thou, I'd light upon her lattice That she might take me in upon her breast, And then her heart would rock the Snowy cradle till I died -" Really I cannot help being sad tonight - The future looks strangely, dim and uncertain, like the reflection of a cloudy moon in a troubled lake. Don't think that I say that any crushing sorrow has fallen upon me - not that - 'tis only the pensive sadness that such a season - and such loveliness to be enjoyed all alone - brings to my heart. Also the words of your last letter have chimed in most perfectly with my thoughts regarding my future course. I want so much to clasp you to my heart tonight - and talk with you of all these things - Of one thing I have become certain - our first and highest earthyly duty before God is to ourselves - and neither the ministry - nor any thing else must interfere with that - It is always disagreeable to me to talk of money in connection with the Gospel - and yet I must - and will here say that I do not intend to abandon my earthly support to the tender merciesof our Brotherhood - To enter the field at present - when they are all come up into warring factions, is unpleasant and it almost seems as if one's efforts would be neutralized by such things - Some poet must, ere long, be chosen - and I feel all unable to make the choice - One thing, in the Providence of God, will, I hope help us to decide - It has pleased Him to make me poor - And this compels me to earn the most money I can for the next year or two - and during that time I hope He will raise up some Light upon my pathway that will guide me - To this end let us trust Him - He has never failed me yet - You have added a new tie that binds your heart and mine - by pursuing those noble and heroic sentiments which indicate a willingness to make any sacrifice for the right - May it please God not to require it of you. I hope you can come before Commencement - for I presume I shall be obliged to go away very soon after it - You do not know how much joy I anticipate in the thought of meeting you so soon. I am so glad to have you see Rebecca and I shall look forward to the day when we can enjoy her at our own home, as the dear sister of our heart - An aged mother - her only surviving parent is now her constant care - and I fear it will not be possible for her to accompany us home - But she will visit us at the first opportunity - I shall hear from you soon - Meantime & forever I am Your James. [*My friend Mr Wilson sent you a list of the graduating honors - He is a noble fellow -*][*Williamstown Mass*] Ravenna, Sunday eve. May 18th 56. My Own James: I cannot tell the deep quiet happiness which my heart feels to night. It is like the soft blue summer sky from which the last lingering cloud has disappeared and left in its own color unchanged serenity, not even in the farthest verge of the horizon is discernable the smallest speck to mar its fair beauty, and how sweet it is to think of you, my noble James, when my spirit is so tranquil. My thoughts go away to you so confidingly and nestle so lovingly near your heart; and, dearest, I know that you love to receive them there - into that sweet and holy intimacy which makes so entirely one the current of our lives. This assurance [it is which] perfects and crowns every earthly bliss, and adds a new garland to deck the bow of that Hope which promises the joys of Heaven. This afternoon I returned from my dear home again where I have been spending a few more happy hours. Friday evening [*115*]the Public Lyceum, which I mentioned a week or two since, came off. It was decidedly a fine affair - The admission fee kept out all those whose only object is to make disturbance in an assembly and the room was filled with an audience as orderly as could be asked, and the exercises were all praise-worthy. The colloquy was rather too [the] theatrical to please exactly some of the older people and perhaps it would not be well that scenes so intensely [interesting] exciting should be often repeated. Harvey and Harry were the originators of it and the principal actors consequently you know it could have been no inferior affair. I cannot spare room to tell you of it now. Mother and Miss. Booth ask me every time I go home if you are coming back there this Fall. I think I shall refer them to Bro. Hayden after this. I received your precious letter and the Quarterly, Friday just before starting home. A Lithograph came too which I never should have dreamed was designed for you had not your name been attached to it. I must confess I felt a little out of patience with your Lithographers. By looking very closely I can trace some of your features but the expression is no more yours than mine. Ah, but perhaps it is their "whiskers" that have effected such a change. I did not think of that. But be assured if it is I shall never dare kiss you again; for I am sure such a demure sanctimonious face as that would feel very indignant to receive such a silly thing as a kiss. Can they not give the expression more correctly? If not I would not give much for their art. - I have read but little of the Quarterly yet - Wilber's pieces - yours, and one or two others. W's poetry is himself speaking surely in every line consequently I have no criticism to make upon it; but his "Modes of Expression" I must beg leave to differ with if I understand it at all. If "blank verse and rhyme" are the only forms which poetry can assume then I have had very mistaken views of what Poetry is. Charley has such a faculty of mystifying whatever he writes or talks about that I never know whether I fully understand him or not. Such a style excites curiosity but to me is unsatisfactory. "Memory" is a darling little poem which I loved long ago. Korner I have read with a greatdeal of pleasure not due alone to the fact that the Author is a particular favorite of mine, but also to its own worth. I cannot tell how much I love you - or how proud this little heart is of its treasure for your own greatness, for your manly strength and independence which all your writings - as well as every act display. I know that you [only] need a wife only for her sweet love, but dearest you will not be satisfied with that alone will you? I have been learning to love this last year, and it has opened to me such volumes of new life and beauty that I seem to have lived a life time of joy in these few months but I do not wish to be contented with learning that alone, I do not wish a growth of heart without an equal development of intellect nor do I wish you to be satisfied with any thing less in me; for though you may not need my aid, I do want you to need my appreciation - of you. - What a dear little reading circle we have now composed of yourself - your dear mother - Rebecca and me. Doubly strengthened now is the love which united our hearts. I wonder if we shall ever [with] all be gathered beside one hearth stone to read from this volume which now is uniting us in one though so far seperated. I must close again without having written the half that I had to write, with all my love as ever I am yours forever: Lucretia[*Williamston Mas*] Ravenna. May, 23d '56. My Dear: Your precious letter came to day to gladden my heart, and though I will not answer entirely until Sunday evening still I feel that I must write a little this evening it is so sweet to talk to you even, and especially so when I feel just like it. I started away from my drawing lesson this afternoon feeling so weary and spiritless that it seemed to me I could never make another exertion in any way, and the half mile walk through Main Street amid the bustle of even our little village seemed beyond endurance so to avoid it I took a back street which I had never traversed before and soon found myself in the coziest little nest of homes you can imagine. Sweet little cottages with green shades and latticed porticoes greeted me on either hand while stretching away before me was the gravel walk shaded with the bright rich foliage of [*116*]the beautiful maple, I soon forgot that I was tired and walked on wishing only that you were beside me to enjoy it too, and was almost sorry when I found myself at home, with what a soul-reviving care-lightening spirit cheering voise does Nature ever speak to us. When we are gay joy rests upon her brow, if we are sad she does not upbraid us - does not even bid us drive away our grief, but with her soft and gentle charms woos us away from it when weary and dispirited Her magic breath restores vitality, gives to the step its wanted elasticity, to the eye its kindling brightness and to the spirit its joyful flow. So did her kind ministrations restore me this evening to life and vigor again. yes it was only Nature that spoke to me in all those beautiful things I saw. There was nothing artificial in those sweet homes however decorated and embellished they may have been; for they were but the natural retreats [of] which love the most natural of all things has adorned and beautified. But I hear nothing, I see nothing beautiful or good which does not remind me of my loneliness without you and intensify my longing for that sweet companionship which I hope may sometime be ours. Sunday evening; - There are a thousand flower [tiful] gemmed paths leading away from my heart to yours all so beautiful that sometimes I am almost at loss which to choose to guide my spirit away to you, but this lovely evening I make choice of the one which has become dearer than all others. It winds beneath the rich foliage of the orange, and beside it the myrtle blooms so quiet and secluded it that the eye of the world never penetrated into its hidden charms over the restless footsteps of the intruder dared venture upon its sacredness. How changed has all my life become since I have learned this way to your heart, I breathe the air of Heaven so I traverse it and my whole being is purified and made holier; for while it leads me to that secret door of your "heart of hearts", which I alone have found and to which none others may approach, it also opens out upon clearer views of all things good and beautiful" - the Heavens above and the earth beneath"; andthe nearer I approach to this sacred oneness with you the more am I brought into communion with the spirit of all love, and all things lovable hold a nearer place to my heart. When I think of the ice-cold world in which I once lived I do not wonder that I was thought so cold and unloving. And it is a mystery which not yet have I been able to solve how you could then have been attracted towards me. Why was it? Did your eye penetrate beyond what others saw and discover that there were really depths of affection concealed in my heart which though chilled by adversity might be warmed into life again? Yes into a new and true life which they had never felt before. Did you see this, and for this draw me to your heart? I have but one sorrow now; that is a fear that I may never be able to pay the deep debt of gratitude I owe you. - You are thinking of me now yes I feel your presence here your arms encircle me, your lips are pressed to mine I will keep silence while you speak. No higher earthly bliss is mine than to be held upon your heart and listen to your voice of love In spirit this happiness now is mine, a few weeks more and it shall be mine indeed. Can I wait for it? I shall go to you and Rebecca before commencement if possible Which will be the better route if I go to Lewisboro first? I know that I shall receive another dear letter soon and an answer to this in two weeks. How could I live without these precious messages of affection. Fondly thine: Lucretia [*My compliments to your friend Mr. Wilson for the list he sent me. I know he is worthy of your friendship -*][*Ravenna*] Williams, May 25th 1856. Sunday evening My Own Lucretia. The rain is falling heavily and coldly upon the earth. & though yesterday gave us an uncomfortable degree of warmth (85° Far.) Yet I have made a fire to day and snuggled down here beside it to write to you. If I could only have you sitting in Fanny Fern "nice place to cry" - I should not feel so shivery as I do today - Would that you were here - that I might lay my head upon your heart and tell you a part that is in my thoughts - I know you would [you would] feel, with me, every word and thought - Writing and receiving dear messages of love, is delightful - to gaze at and kiss the shadows of yourself in this little case [*67*]before me "till" it worms under my lips and almost returns kiss for kiss is also a blessed privilege - but yet after so long an absence - my heart denounced the living - moving - breathing presence, and really it seems as though I cannot be much longer denied that joy - Ah yes, and I would like to stand with you today and look out upon the shore of the future - or rather - to stand upon the shore and look out upon the ocean of the future which stretches away in its boundless immensity all untravelled and unknown. Six years ago I set up a goal toward which to direct my endeavors. Since then every obstacle has faded away and all my energies have been cheerfully and somewhat successfully, perhaps, directed toward it. In a few weeks it will be reached - and now the question comes to me with a stern earnestness - What next? I am not troubled about it - for I trust the Guide who has led me safe thus far; but yet this indefiniteness which hangs over it all, makes me restless in spite of my faith and philosophy. I know that it is expected by many that I can return to Hiram, and perhaps I shall, but I do not feel bound to do so by any thing that has yet been said or done by any of the officials. I am free to tell you. that I think there is a kind of patronizing [spirit] course pursued in regard to the matter, that implies that the Eclectic made me what I am, and that I am bound as a dutiful child to return to her and let her dictate all arrangements between herself and me. Now, of course, no such thing as this has been said - but only acted - Now I have nothing to complain of for on many accounts I should rather gosomewhere else than to Hiram - though you know the reasons why I should love to go there - I have already had several offers and I shall from this time feel at liberty to accept (with your concurrence) the best one - wherever it may be - But more of this at another time. I regret that my picture should look so unnaturally to you - but you must lay it to the whiskers and to the fact that I never can face that camera obscura - without a thought of facing a cannon - and so I bristle up in turn - to oppose it I suppose - My classmates here think it is a very correct likeness - Well, I'll try to show you the original before long - Your observations on Wilbers articles, I think, are very just. He seems to get a partial view of things that he don't fully grasp - and hence the obscurity of his style and language - He is very far from being a thorough scholar - Now I know that about this hour, you are writing to me- and I shall receive it very soon. - One sweet kiss & then Good Night - Your own James[*Ravenna*] Williams June 1st 1856. Sunday Evening. Darling One - "It is the breath of June. The Summer prime Sits bland o'er Nature in her green array; This balmy South hath kissed a summer clime, And gathered fragrance in its trackless way. Leaping in joy, the universe is gay, From lovely vale to the haught mountain top; Teems with a [gladsome] feathery life each of gladsome spray, And to the purling stream the willows droop, While glances from the landscape fan the sun of hope". Such beauty is today and you could hardly believe that it snowed a little yesterday, but it did - and we have been obliged to keep up fires for the past four days. and now with the first gentle footfall of June comes all the loveliness and beauty of air and sun shine. Indeed "here is a great calm." on all the external [*68*]world, but not on it alone — for it has likewise fallen on my spirit, and is giving me a world of sun shine within. But it is a Sunshine in which my heart would fain sleep and dream - for a kind of glorious mist sad though golden is diffused through it all. Sad - I said - Yes - but such a sadness as that of Henry Kirk White's when he said "A tear drop stands in either eye, And yet I cannot tell thee why - I'm pleased and yet I'm sad." For many years, almost as long as I can remember - on sunday afternoon of the summer season - while the Sun is sinking and the evening twilight is coming on. I have felt this very same sensation. I have some times believed it came from seeing my dear widowed mother - look upon me with those tearful eyes of affectionate sadness - at that hour, when cessation from the constant toil of the week gave her time for meditation and the thought of her lonely condition came fresh upon her - At this season of the year I see her face more frequently than in any other looking upon me as she used to do. and I long to be beside her again. and I long still more to do something for her declining years that shall testify to a small share of debt of love and gratitude I owe to her - But I suspect that the principal cause of my sadness may be traced to the want I feel of that golden half of my heart - which resides just now in Ravenna - Ah, don't you think the hemispheres would fit exactly so that even the place of joining could not be seen? All they need - is to be brought nearer together - which thank Heaven - they will be soon. I hope. How thankful, I am every day that [you] the deep rich sentiments of your being, have come out from the recesses in which they were hiddenand have blessed me with this wealth of affection. And if, as you say, my love has given you a new life and new joys I am twice blessed - I fully believe that we have not done this ourselves but God has done it and to Him belongs the praise - I received a letter from Bro. Hayden a few days ago in which he urges me very strongly to go back to Hiram to teach - He did not mention what salary I would have - I wrote to him that if the salary was at all adequate to the occasion I would go there and teach one year - But as I view the matter now - I could not stay much longer than that - under the present Administration - There are two routes to Lewisboro, one via - Erie Rail Road, & the other N.Y. Central R.R. & Hudson River - I do not yet know which is best - but I will find out next Sunday when I go to Poestenkill to Yearly meeting - Did you know that Bro. Hayden intends to be here at Commencement? Now I know I shall hear from you again soon. Till then I am forever thine own - James (*I hear that Bro. Emett has had a trial before the Warren Church concerning Helen Kring? Do you know any of the particulars? - J.A.G.*][*Williamstown Mass*] [*[1856]*] Ravenna, Sunday Afternoon June 1st My Own: The bright "moon of leaves" has waxed and waned ; and, her mission of beautifying and vivifying our northern world now fulfilled, with quiet grace with draws leaving to her mild-eyed sisters—the fair summer moons - her sceptre and her throne. Yes that "glad summer time" has come for which my spirit so intensely longed, as one cold Febray day I sat close beside the glowing fire and listening to the merry jingle of the sleigh bells, and, as now, writing to you. [that] It seemed to me they it would never come so far away, it appeared ; but one by one the weeks have slipped away, and now that very summer promising that fullness of bliss again which your dear embrace loving smiles, and fond words alone can bring, has dawned. Dawned brightly too; for the clouds which hovered around the sun at his rising soon turned to silver brightness then melted away leaving undimmedthe pure depths of soft blue sky thus giving promise that those little clouds which seem gathered over our future will soon disappear. For all this to love this beautiful summer day, yes, and for another dear joy to which I trust it will soon introduce me - that of clasping to my heart our (my) darling sister Rebecca. How I long to be with her to look into her eyes and listen to her voice. It seems to me that I shall find in her such a sister as I have found in none other - a spirit that will be purely and entirely kindred to my own. It has been three weeks since I have heard from her and I am growing impatient for another sweet message. I look for it every day just as I look for your dear letters when they tarry too long, and come home feeling disappointed and sad. Indeed she is fast becoming a strong controller of my happiness, and I feel that our love would be quite incomplete without this new bond which her love - so beautiful and so strange has thrown around us. Surely we love each other better for her sweet love. Thank Heaven for giving her to us! -- Now I must talk to you a little about Hiram - write I mean. Would that I might talk with you a long time about that and many other things, it is so unsatisfactory to write a little every week when there is so much to say. I think James that the people here are very far from thinking the honor due to the Eclectic for your becoming what you are; but rather that she has been honored by having one like you a member of her family. And in no way do they consider you "bound to return" but feeling their need of your aid, hope that you will. This I believe is a true view of the case and I do not wish you to cherish such an unpleasant thought of us, as your last letter indicates. No. My James, for I do not believe you will find elsewhere friends who will have you better or prize more your worth. I know there are reasons why it would be more pleasant for you to go to some other place still unless there is an opportunity for you to do far better than you can there both foryourself and others I hope you will return to the Eclectic. She has been struggling along for the last two years generally with two or three poor teachers hanging on as dead weight, keeping alive with the hope that her old teachers would return. Since Miss. Booth has come back they have been gradually throwing of this load and supplying their places with students so that now they are doing much better than they have before for sometime but these students will leave soon and as they are so much expecting you I know that it will be a great disappointment if you do not come. I trust a great deal to Almeda's good judgement, and she thinks with the present prospects for the future that it will' be best that you return; although she says she will not advise you to do so lest you may possibly sometime regret it. I have written freely but I love the Eclectic, and her interests are dear to me. You did not tell me by what other places offers have been made you, and perhaps I should not ask, but I guess I may. You will pardon me though I indulge a little in "women's curiosity". From your last letters I fear you are sad sometimes. You must not be. I am coming to you very soon Providence permitting, and will not this make your heart glad? Gladly would I be with you now and kiss each shadow from your brow. I did not mean to make a rhyme, but come it did with a merry chime. An answer soon I know will come, and so goodbye with laughing eyes and merry kiss brim full of bliss. Your Cre[*Williamstown Mass*] Ravenna. June 8th '56. My Best Loved: So swiftly the hours and days speed away that I can scarcely note their passing and even the weeks could scarce be counted did not each bring its sweet offering of affection from the one who most I love. Each Friday noon - the close of my labors in school for the week - I find in &c. 233. a little messenger of love awaiting me. How fondly do I clasp it to my heart, and press it to my lips! And how does each word it tells me from your heart thrill my whole soul with rapturous bliss? Over and over again I ask it to tell the story until I have made it all mine and even then I love to hear it again and again: but how much dearer will each word be when heard from your dear lips. Ah yes when the joined lips the "love lit" eyes and the fond embrace shall be the reality, which words can never shadow forth, then our joy will be entire. - I am very glad that you have so nearly decided to return to Ohio. I cannot but feel that it will be right for you to go there, at least I shall not be wholly satisfied unless you do for awhile. I have not entirely lost faith in the elevation of the eclectic [*118*]to that position which her friends have desired for her, and I want to see at least one earnest effort made to effect that. One year will be sufficient to determine something in reference to it, and if circumstances are no more favorable then I shall not urge you to remain longer. I know James that I am not wholly unselfish in wishing you to go there, so near all of your friends and my own. Still in urging you to go I hope I am uninfluenced by any selfish motive. If I did not think it best, both for yourself and the Eclectic I would not ask it, whatever sacrifice of feeling it might cost. and whenever another field of greater usefulness is open to you, your "golden half" (?) shall not become dead even though it call you very far from our childhood homes. It is my desire to go cheerfully wherever duty leads. Heaven help me that I may. I do not believe life can be very sad in any place if the arms of my own James can encircle me, and my head be pillowed upon his heart. His love will be sunshine to my heart even in the thickest gloom; and my own, I cannot tell how much my confidence is strengthened in the constancy and devotion of that love by each new proof of your tenderness and affection for your dear Mother; for I know that one so mindful of a mother's happiness is too kind to forget a wife. I hope you may be enabled to do very much for that loved Mother's comfort and no sweeter joy shall be mine than to share with you the privilege of ministering to her happiness. I often think how lonely and sad she must have been these long years that your Father has slept in the tomb, and I cannot bear to have her feel as a letter she once wrote you indicated - that when you were married she would be alone in the world. She must not feel that I have taken you from her: for James I would never become your wife if that would prevent your being the same to her that you have ever been. Rather do I wish that you may become even more to her. My dear parents are still spared to each other, and though it may cause them a pang of sorrow to yield their children to the arrest of others and see them go away from their home to be theirs no more as they have been; still they could not feel as would your widowed Mother to see her last child go from her to be hers no more. - To day the sad intelligence came of Sarah Soule's death. She has been out of health for several months still we had tired to hope that she might recover. Bro. Evrett who was there when she died wrote to Bro. Judd that her death was most peaceful and happy: that she bade them all adieu and joyfully yielded to the Destroyer. She is the first of our "Stevegreens company" to be stricken down. May we all be prepared when our summons may come to follow her with the same joyful assurance of acceptance before the throne of God. It seems sad to see one in all the bloomand vigor of youth laid low in death, still it maybe that from a life of suffering and sorry they have been spared, and we should not refuse to be comforted for their loss. He who rules in the Heavens knows better than we the highest good of all his creatures and to his will we should submit. - You speak of Bro. Evrett's trial before the Warren Church. I do not know many of the particulars. There were charges brought against him by the people of Warren which the Church thought best to investigate and did so. They were proven to be false and he was acquitted. Still it must be acknowledged even by his best friends that his course has been imprudent. There is so much of the vileness of sins and impurity in the world that one must be most cautious if they would avoid all suspicion. It would pain me to the very depths of my heart to think that Bro. Evrett was a bad man still it must be admitted that his course has been such as to give society in its existing state ground for suspicion and that is enough to make him a most vile character in the eyes of the world especially as he is a minister of the gospel. I sometimes grow sick at heart of life and every thing connected to it. There is so much loathsomeness and beastly degradation so closely allied to all that should be pure and holy in life that it is sometimes hard to find the line of division. - My sheet has almost all run away from beneath my pen and again I must give the good bye kiss. Tell me of your visit to P- and of all you are doing and thinking, and of your plans for the future year. I love everything in any way connected with you. Most affectionately Your own; Lucretia[*Ravenna*] Williams. June 9th 1856. Monday Evening: Lucretia Dearest. I returned this afternoon from Millville N. Y. whither Charles and I went last Friday to attend a yearly meeting of Disciples at that place. The gathering was large for this part of the Disciple world, though we would call it Small on the Reserve. I went to Poestenkill each night & staid at my sweet home of Sister Marian's, The speakers were Bro. Lowell, Bartlett & Clayton and some others. The cause east of the river looks rather dark and gloomy & it seems to me there is a great want of Christian Devotion. Indeed - I think our brethren are proverbial for their lack of Spirituality and personal piety & I am sometimes almost discouraged [*69*]in regard to the Reformation and doubt whether there has been much real gain by it; for it seems that what has been gained in theory has been lost in practice. To this add the wrangling among our Brethren and it gives a gloomy picture indeed. Whether it arises from our principles or from an abuse of them I can hardly tell If from the first I should not dene to preach them... I presume your views & remarks concerning Hiram are entirely correct - I did not intend to give the impression in a former letter that I thought I was not appreciated in Hiram - By any means. I have always received full credit for all I was worth and have no fears or complaints on that score. My remarks were made mainly in reference at Bro Hayden and his patronizing course toward me. For instance, a few weeks ago, he wrote me a letter - the first two pages (commercial note) on general topics. On the next page he adds a post script in which he speaks of my coming back wants me to come by all means - but don't know what salary I can have - however - he'll see that I'm paid &c &c -" I wrote to him that I would go there one year, if they would tell me definitely what they would pay me providing it was anywhere near reasonable I am now awaiting an answer. If I hear soon and favorable, I shall engage - The other places I spoke of are Troy, Poestenkill Pawlet. Vt and N.Y. City - The man who took the Troy school where I talked of going, does not give satisfactions - & I could have that place in a little while - Also the Academy and Church of Poestenkill have both been offered to me - I have received letters in regard to the other places, but do not know so much about them -Your very dear letter received a little while before I started to the meeting - brings me a new and clear assurance of your constant and true love - and the hope of seeing again so soon is a great joy. I hope that no circumstances may hinder me from being in Hiram and in your dear society during the next year - - I have talked with Sister Marian and she has just returned from visiting Rebecca - She is anxious to have you come to her home first and to have Rebecca there to meet you - - then we can all go to Lewiston afterward together. That will be the best route for you to take - i.e. by the way of Poestenkill - You can ticket from Cleveland to Troy via the Lake and N. Y. Central Rail Road - reaching Troy in less than 24 hours after you leave Cleveland - Let me know when you will start - and I will meet you in Troy -. I heartily echo all that you have said concerning our dear Sister Rebecca - I look forward with hope that she may sometime be an inmate for a summer in our home - Hoping to hear from you again at the usual time - I am as ever your own loving James.[*Ravenna Oh*] Greylock Mountain June 13./56 Friday Evening 7 1/2 oclock Dearest Crete, I am on the highest spot in Massachusetts - 3700 feet above the level of the Sea and am standing on the top of a tower 50 ft in hight. A company of eleven of us have just reached here on foot after a journey of nearly 12 miles. The mail matter for the company was received just as we were setting out from College, and we have none of us had a chance to read our letters till now. From this grand and sublime spot - I will respond partially to the dear message of love which I have just read & loved. I have come up here to the lip of the tower to pencil a few words to you which I will dress in black when I am seated by my desk again: The sun is just reaching the horizon and [*76*]the thousand azure clouds that lie scattered over the heavens broad expanse are all burnished with glittering gold. On the Northeast I can see the towering top of Old Monadnoc at whose foot my mother was born, and where she spent her earliest childhood days - Its New Hampshire base is lost in clouds and shadow - but its top is all on fire with with the glory of sunset - On the southwest lie the Cattskills mts - bathed in hazy blue. It is supposed I can see to the distance of 100 miles each way from here - makinging a circuit of 200 miles in diameter filled with towering mountains = It is as though an ocean in the most tumultuous fury of its wildest storm had stiffened and stood still - and God's hand had scattered over the hardened billows the verdure of his richest green - But the sun has gone and night has fallen down upon us. I must hurry down to assist my companions to gather boughs and prepare a camp and beds for the night - Would that you could gaze with me upon this glorious scene - But for the present I must say Good Night - As ever your own James Williams June 18. Sunday Even. My Own - After a pleasant but wearisome tramp we returned to College the next day after the above was written. I picked a Claytonia and a mountain lichen for you before I left the summit and I will send them to you in this letter. I feel much better since I have got rested from the tramp and I think it would do me good to take such a jaunt often - The meeting in Nellville was not such as I hoped it would be - but was more than ever characterized by that walk of spiritual mindedness which is so prevalent among our Brethren, I amam almost discouraged in view of the distracted state of the Brotherhood and the lack of practical piety. I had a very dear good visit with my very dear Sister Maria. I shall be so glad to have you see her and know her. I am sure the world knows few such spirits as she is. I have not yet had any letter from Rev Herylten since I last wrote you. I received a letter from the Church of Mishawaka, Ia. where Coryden lives, making me a good offer to you there and speak for them a year and as much longer as I wished I have not answered them yet, but I think I shall not become a preacher now, if I ever do. The days are flitting when I can clasp you again to my heart. At what time shall you leave for the east and who comes with you, if any body? I think you are writing to me at this moment. One kiss dearest and Heaven bless you. Good night. Your own James[*Williamstown Mass*] Ravenna June 18th '56. My Own Dearest: The sweetest pleasures of each week are the receiving and answering your darling letters. Those are the diamond joys glittering among the golden delights of each week's previous gifts, and how rapidly are they bejeweling my whole life? Now dearest while I add another to my showing store take me fondly near your heart, that this day's pleasure may be among the richest and brightest. Yes I would be drawn so closely near that each pulsation of your heart-throb might be answered by the beatings of my own; that all the sweetness of our love which words cannot express heart might talk. So near your spirit would mine ever be, my own, but not always is that desire so imperative as now. I know not why it is so to day, where it is that "my Lizzie" was with me again last night and now that she has left me I feel more my loneliness. She is going to spend a few weeks at home now, then Mr. Pratt is coming and they are going East about the middle of July so I shall be provided with company. I cannot tell yet exactly when we will start but I will let you know in time so that we may meet at Troy. [You] I did not understand whether we were to visit Lewiston before commencement orafter. If not till after perhaps I can persuade them not to start quite so soon; for cause I put a little delicacy in protracting my visit to any great length with our friends there since I have so small a claim upon their friendship. It is vey kind in them to invite me to visit them at all. stranger as I am - and I sometimes feel as though it was presuming too much to accept it now especially Sister Leonard's invitation although I am most anxious to know her that I may love her as I ought. I feel a little more freedom to visit Rebecca: for she is so entirely my sister that I feel that we are very well acquainted with each other even now, and that when we are clasped in each other's arms it will be only as we have been a thousand times before. I am sure our spirit must be old acquaintance and have spent many sweet hours together. My visit with Lizzie last night was as dear as ever. Our love is not a sister's. It is rather the devotion of lovers. The time was when she was the idol of my heart - my all - If with her I was happy entirely asking for nothing more - if away from her side, as eagerly did I watch the flight of the hours that should bring her to my arms again as now I count off the departing hours which are bringing me to your fond arms; but circumstances have sundered us and until our interests and our desires have become almost entirely seperate so that in the eyes of the world we are scarcely acquaintance: but though the upper currents of our lives seem flowing in directions so opposite there is a strong deep under current mingling entirely these opposite tendencies and making us really one whatever may be the world's opinion about it, and when we meet we go beneath the surface and live for a few hours again in that true affection which harmonizes all the seeming discordance. She sends her love to you and says tell you we are the dearest of friends although we do not make a sufficient manifestation of it to keep up even a regular correspondence. She is very anxious to see you and as much do I want you to see her. She adores her husband and is very happy in his fond love. But more of Lizzie and all these things at some other time. - Your remarks in reference to our Brotherhood are too true, and the existing state of things is truly lamentable, still are they not the natural results of a Reformation of this kind? The Lutheran Reformation was a turning from forms which had become the whole of religion [?] in the Catholic church and the consequent tendency was to a religion entirely spiritual or at least to one sharing little regard to forms of any kind. This lead again to absurdities which it has been the object of the present reformation to correct and bring about the primitive state of things and as the contention has been for the establishment of the true theory may have become enlisted in it devoid of all spirituality who havebased their hopes upon the correctness of the theory and have forgotten or never cared to know perhaps the necessity of a corresponding practice. To give up the principles upon which this Reformation is based it seems to me would be yielding the Bible itself; for is it not a fundamental principle to receive the Bible just as it is, and bring all our prejudices and opinions to a trial before it and abide by the sentence it may pass upon them, as being the voice of inspiration. And the Bible being a true revelation from Heaven can we honestly do otherwise It may result in some contention but if there are correct and true spirits engaged prayerfully in the work will not the pure gold be at last seperated from the dross and the church - not of Disciples over any other denomination- but the true church of Christ Shine forth in the beauty of holiness. Will not a faithful adherence to this principle inevitably bring about this result? If so their should we be discouraged? I think it has been a fault of our preaching brethren that they have indulged a spirt too war-like. Instead of going to the people in the spirit of love and telling them the Truths of the Gospel with kindness they have assumed rather the attitude of besiegers tearing down and trampling under foot whatever opposed thereby exciting a hostility which it is not easy to appease. - So "Jamie" I know I shall hear from you again very soon. Please write me a very long letter - one that will take me half a day to read. Read as slowly as I will I always find the end before I am half ready to. My best love to Marian - and my kindest thanks to her for her invitation to visit at her home. She will go with us to Williams and Lewisboro will she not? Fondly thine forever; Lucretia[*Williamstown Mass*] [*[1856]*] Ravenna. Sunday afternoon June 22d My Own: I will try and write you a letter though every energy is so completly prostrated by the excessive heat that it seems like a Herculean task to sit here and hold a pen long enough to cover this sheet with marks. If you would only come and sit by me it would certainly be very gratifying to my indolence if nothing more - for I could look at you and perhaps listen to you without much exertion. I would not promise to talk - that would require an effort greater than I should be willing to make. It seems to me I never had a warmer day - The thermometer must stand near the boiling point I'm sure. I think it would be very pleasant on the top of some of your Massachusett's mountains just now and if I can only live through the next two weeks teaching I shall hope to be there before long. Perhaps five weeks from to day I may be with you. I cannot yet tell however. James, dearest love looks to you the prospect of another meeting! Is it all bright with joy and gladness, or [*121*]are then dark shades falling across it which almost make[s] your heart tremble with sad forebodings? Allow me to quote a passage from the last letter you wrote me before your return last summer. "It seems to me as if I should not be allowed to enjoy such unalloyed happiness as i anticipate. - But I hope that the Providence of God may smile upon my visit and give me a foretaste of what my dreaming visions have painted in the future". - you know how that doubt was realized - how disappointed that hope, and are the same feelings now yours? I trust not; for if they are I have but little hope for the future. But I know that you are all kindness and noble affection, also that my own heart is most fondly and entirely yours: still if there is a doubt in you mind of my success in making you happy I fear that I shall indeed fail. One circumstance gives me a little confidence that our next meeting will not be like the former. Then I was all hope never dreaming that there could be aught in store for us but perfect bliss. I supposed we must be entirely happy if only in each other's presence. Now I trust I have grown wiser and am not so sanguine in my expectations, [had] I have learned that love is a delicate sensitive flower which a cold breath my chill and will droop and die if it receive not its native climant - smiles and kiss and fond embraces, and I hope that hereafter I shall better cherish this beautiful treasure which you have committed to me. Then I shall have some reason for hoping to see you happy. - What would you say to hear that Barber was married, and that when she found that she could conceal it from Harvy no longer sent him a letter requesting that he return her letters and that their correspondence cease? So H- told me when I was at home last Thursday. The report comes from all directions that she is married and he says that if they are true she was married sometime before she wrote him that letter. Of course it causes H- some unpleasant feelings now, but I must confess that I am glad that she is not his wife. Her course this winter has been anything but commendable - attending dancing school dancing parties &c. and I do not believe she is half good enough for him. Harvy is a noble fellow and deserving the best of wives, and I hope it may be his good fortune to find such a one. - The commencement exercises at Hiram were fine. The tent was spread just north of the Seminary underwhich were seated some 3000 people in the finest order you can imagine. There was no confusion no hurry but all passed of charmingly so quietly and in such good taste. considering the whole performance I think it was superior to any thing we have ever had before. - Miss. Booth thinks the same salary will be offered you that Mr. Donshee has-$600 I believe. - Can you come for that? But has she ever intimated to you that she may not stay longer? She said some such thing to me as we were talking the other evening. I told her you would not come back or think of such a thing if you knew it, and I would not blame you if you wouldn't. She said you must, and that should make no difference. I do not believe however that she will go. She is talking a little of attending your commencement if [it] the convention at Albany came near the same time. Bro. Hayden will be there I suppose. When I left Hiram Thursday evening Harry Rhodes was designing to go to Williams [last] this Fall, but yesterday I met him on the street as he was going to the cars. He was in a hurry but stopped long enough to tell me that he had about given up going there, and was thinking now of going to Georgia to teach, that was about all he had time to say, but I presume he will write you all about it. The thought flashed through my mind that it was a project in which Miss. Booth is concerned, and perhaps she thinks of going there too, but I hope not. O. P. they tell me has also decided not to go to H-. Perhaps he has found his "fairy aisle". Well I have really filled my sheet and am still alive, not suffering any great fatigue either. That is not strange though for nothing that I can do for you wearies me. Please direct the answer to this to Hiram. I shall be there before it would reach here. One loving kiss and then goodbye. From one who loves you. [*The sweet little flowers you send are very pretty, and I would love them if for nothing more than that your hand plucked them. I wish I had some dear little beauty to send you but as I have not you must wait a few weeks more then you shall have a kiss for it. Thine.*][*Ravenna*] Williams, June 25. 1856. Wednesday Morning. Lucretia Dearest By reason of my absence from College for a few days I have not before this answered your last precious letter. Last Saturday I went to Pittsfield to spend the Lords Day with Hattie I. Garfield, one of my new-found cousins who is teaching school there this summer. I had a very pleasant little visit with her, and on Sunday we listened to a sermon from the Rev. Dr. Todd - Author of a "Young Man's Guide", and several other works of note - He is a man of great power - and in personal appearance strikingly resembles Bro. Campbell - Monday Evening I returned to College just in time to attend a Fremont RatificationMeeting - which lasted till eleven o clock and last evening according to custom - the marshalls appointed for Commencement Day - gave our class a treat at which there were toasts and speeches by every member of the class, and we did not get to our rooms again till about midnight. We are in a perfect whirlwind of work now. Some 20 Examinations to prepare for and pass and commencement to prepare for. The class of subject assigned to me is a difficult one, requiring a great deal of reading to do anything right. Even though it be only a speech of six minutes length. I shall be glad when six weeks from today have passed - In regard to our visiting Lewisboro? I don't think I can go there till after Commencement - for I presume I shall be called to Williamstown once or twice during my stay in Posstenkill. So, if it is practicable, I think we had better make our first visit at Maria's and after Commencement go to Rebecca's home - I hope to hear soon, when you intend to start - Please tell me the time of the day - and the route, so that I may calculate the time of your arrival - I am going to try to be very brave, and as proper as the occasion demands. I am anxious to know more of your dear friend "Lizzie." and I love her already, because of your love. I suppose in your next, you will tell me of the Commencement at Hiram and the doings of the Trustees - I hope to hear a full report. I received a letter from Bro Enette a few days since, letting me that Bro. Hayden had accepted the Secretary ship of the State Missionary Board, and will resignthe Eclectic Presidency as soon as a successor can be found - Bro. Emett said that, in answer to Bro. H's letter he hast proposed my name; and he said if the place should be offered to me on fair terms, he hoped I would accept it. During the last six months I have received 15 or 20 letters on this subject from different quarters - but I have not, I believe, ever mentioned it to you before because I regarded those letters - as expressions of personal regard, rather them as serious expectations - I have not, nor do I yet, expect that appointment - but I write this to learn if you have ever heard it talked of - and if so, what is the real state of feeling on the subject - Should the place be offered I do not know that I should accept it - certainly not till I was sure of hearty cooperation and support - You know "the audacious crime of being a young man", did not cease to be a crime in Chatham's days - It is well "to keep an eye out" in reference to these things and I know you will tell me very fully your thoughts upon it - I fully agree with your views of the Disciples - & lament their condition -. I will send you a paper in a few days - containing some of our College Politics. I am intensely interested in the great struggle now before the County - I know I shall hear from you soon - With a heart whose throbs are still [?] am I am Your own loving James.[*Hiram*] Williams June 29th 1856. Sunday Evening - My Own Lucretia. I defy Ohio to produce a more unbearably hot day than this has been and I know I can fully sympathize with your calorific experience of one week ago this evening - At noon the thermometer stood 97° in the shade - and last night at midnight it was 74° - Last night I slept on the roof under the open sky & I shall do so tonight unless it rains. It is very fine to watch the myriads of stars and the bright moonlit clouds till your eyes droop in sleep - and then to lie and see the first streak of rosy dawn that dapples the East and heralds the sun. Could I clasp you in my arms and gaze with you upon the beautiful heavens, truly "the night would be filled with music". [*72*]You ask me what my heart says in view of our meeting now close at hand - and whether any doubts and fears are before me - any clouds hovering the bright horizon of the future & refer to one year ago and its strange experience- My Own Darling one, I have no such doubts or fears. I look back upon that terrible experience of last year- as perfectly natural under the circumstances and from the very nature of the case it cannot occur again- It was the rending of the vail which had not yet been taken away from between our hearts. Hence the anguish - the terrible agony - and hence the bright glad heavenly joy & sunshine that followed and which has been growing higher every hour since. One sentence in your dear letter before me give me sadness. You say if another cloud appears I have but little hope for the future" Now my own love one - we cannot expect cloudless sunshine and a shadowless life but what need have we of fear; we each know that we possess the wealth of the other's love. You will find in me many imperfections - and many things that you could wish were otherwise not doubt- but you know that my heart is yours and such as I have, I have long ago give thee. For this past year- more than ever before we have communed with naked hearts together - and that communion has brought me only peace and joy. The love that fills my soul is not a wild delirious passion - a momentary effervescence of feeling, but a calm strong deep and resistless current that bears my whole being on toward its object - Such a love is not to be swerved by any of the trifling accidents of life - and I feel that your love for me is of the same kind - - You write of Hiram and the School - I have not yet heard from Bro. Hayden or the Trustees - though I ought to have had a letter some days ago - Have you heard anything in reference to the doing of the Trustees at their meeting? I regret to hear that Harry is wavering in reference to coming here - I shall still hope he will come - I am anxious to hear from him - I could hardly think of going back to Hiram to teach unless Almeda stays and gives her strength to the school - - I don't think she'll go away. You must not let her - I am sorry to hear such news from Barbara - but I have learned not to judge of such cases till I know more - Love to your folks and let me hear soon - Your own James. [*Can you tell me in your next when you will come?*][*Williamstown Mass*] [*[June 29, 1856]*] Ravenna, Sunday evening, June 29th. My Own Love: No sweet letter came last week to gladden my heart with its precious treasures of love. I know not why - only know that there is some good reason for it. I trust it is not that you are ill; still I cannot but be fearful that you are; for I can imagine no other reason that would prevent your writing one, and as you are at Williams a letter written any time during the first of last week would have reached here yesterday. If I supposed or rather knew that the foul hand of Disease had fallen upon you I would be with before the close of the week. I would not be afraid to go alone; and soon your aching head would forget its pain beneath the caress of a loving hand and your fevered lips be cooled by kisses. But it may be that there is some other reason, and that tomorrow or some day very soon will declare it. I will try and think so and be happy. - I am spending my last Sunday in Ravenna for the present. I cannot say that it makes me sad for the prospect of a release from school looks too bright to allow much sadness. [*72*]still it is always a fir time for reflection as we are about closing up the events which measure off any portion of our lives, and especially so for one who has been attempting to act the part of a teacher as the duties of a year are about ending. The memories of the last few months that I have been here are far from leaving a dark spot upon the pages of the past; for whatever have been the trials which would darken some homes, I have ever felt the consciousness that I was at least striving to accomplish something for the good of those with whom I was associated - that I was living to some purpose, and this is a sunshine which can guild the darkest cloud. True in looking over the hours of my teaching here I find that many times I have not accomplished all that I might for want of judgement to direct properly all my efforts, and other times I know I have not been as earnest and determined in carrying our purposes that I knew were good - as I ought; Still I believe it has been my desire ever to be as earnest and faithful as I could - That I should ever have failed is a source of regret but I trust it may [?] prove a source of profit in the experience I have gained.-- I have been reading another book without you this last week. "Earnest Linwood" a story of Mrs. Caroline Lee Henk. I think every book I read that I will not read another until I am with you, so much I feel my loneliness without you to enjoy it with me, but it would be of about as much use to determine to stop breathing as to let books alone if they are any where in the region about me. I love to read [?] as I love to love - and when I can read with you - when the page through your eye can speak to me, them I cannot tell how I will love it. Allow me to quote the language of this same "Earnest" to his "Gabrielle" "It is charming when the eye of one and the ear of another dwell in sympathy on the same inspiring sentiments; when the reader glaring with enthusiasm, turns from the page before him to a living page printed by the hand of God in fair divine characters. It is like looking from the shining heavens to a clear crystallized steam, and seeing its glories reflected there, and our own image tremendously bright". A gentle summer shower has just passed over and from behind the golden cloud draping the sun is swirling forth a sweet good night. How well I love these beautiful sunsets; and, each blushing morn that stealing in through my open window, with her rosy lip woos from my eyelids the "[?] God". But not for their own glory and brightness alone do I love them. No, my own, but for the sweet assurance they bring that the hours between up are fast rolling away, and that soon very soon the setting sun will not be more golden or therosy dawn more beautiful than our own deep joy when "heart to heart" we shall be clasped again. There are a thousand things with which I might fill out this sheet; but I do not wish to speak of them now. My heart goes away to that silent communion of our spirits when words are but a mockery. when a look, a caress or our joined lips express volumes too rapturous for the most thrilling experience to dare [utter?]. And does not your heart true meet mine! I hope that you are writing to me now - that if you have been sick you are well now and that you will keep very well until I come to you. I am with you, dearest, though I do not fill the remainder of this page, and I know you will not love me less that I stop now. Fondly thine forever: Lucretia Monday afternoon. Dearest: I awoke this morning with a strong presentiment that I should receive a letter from you to do consequently did not seal this, and surely a letter did come - a good long letter every word of which I loved. Ha, ha, yes even those two naughtiest of lines, which so unmistakably indicate that my arrival there will cause such a sore trial of your "bravery'. But my dear sir, I have not the least idea of sparing you from that "trial of your faith" as courage either,and there is no other alternative for you but to make yourself "sufficient for it." -- I am going home Thursday and will see Lizzie as soon as possible and learn the hour and minute of starting as nearly as I can. -- In the letter I sent you a week ago I said something of the commencement. Of the doings of the Trustees I did not learn very much except that they settled up their financial affairs and found themselves still considerably in debt. This however we trust the subscription of another year may cancel. -- If your taking Bro. Hayden's place at Hiram I have said nothing heretofore because I did not wish to until I know something of your own feelings regarding it. Now I am willing to tell you all I know respecting the feelings of others about it, as far as I know them, also my own. Father was the first to mention it to me, and that was very soon after you left us last Fall. He said it was only a suggestion then among the Brethren; but he spoke of it as entirely meeting his approbation. He expressed very freely his confidence in your ability to take such a place although he felt - as undoubtedly you yourself feel - that a few years experience would give you - and others also - a more entire confidence in your success than you can have now. Almeda speaks of it often and thinks it is the place you can and should take after a year or two provided you return 73here now. She says however that she would not think it best that you accept such an appointment now, not that she doubts your ability I think but she fears -as do I - that it might give occasion for unpleasant feelings to rise on the part of some and rather than that should be, I would have you never pass the threshold of the Eclectic again. If I am capable of judging I know that there is a strong friendship for you and a confidence in your powers among the friends of the Eclectic which few others possess; still James you know enough of the instability of human affairs to trust very much to that. when an indiscreet act or word could turn the whole tide against you; and I love you too well to wish you to expose yourself rashly to the assaults of the world; neither would I have you timorous and trembling before them; still it is well ever to exercise caution. I would much rather that you spend the next year at the Eclectic merely a teacher than if Bro. Hayden resigns and it is the unanimous wish of the brotherhood that you take the Presidency I shall feel no hesitancy in yielding my consent - think you you can act without it - nor will I withold it nor should it seem entirely for the best that you do so. I have written you a very long letter this time and I think I am deserving much as two or three kisses. I had like to have forgotten to tell you how sorry I am that you are not sick so that they would let me go to you now. Very soon may I hear again? All yours as ever Lucretia.[*Ravenna*] Williams, July 6th 1856 Sunday Evening. My Own One, Yesternight your very dear letter was received and I must begin by thanking you for that additional half sheet and for all the dear good things your whole letter contains - The past week has been one of the busiest I have seen in Williamstown and the coming one will probably be more so. I must pass the examinations and finish my Commencement oration before I shall be permitted to leave town - So I shall not be able to leave here till the last of the week. I shall then go in for sleeping about five or six days to make up the present deficiency. You must not have any fears in reference to my [*I send you an Index*]health for it was never better in all my life than it is now. I can study more hours in a day now than I ever could before and in the Massachusetts climate and pure mountain air, one can hardly get sick. It was very dear of you to feel so anxious for me lest I should be sick. Indeed I would be willing to be a little sick if I could have your angel presence to charm away the pain- You speak of reading. Hasn't it been one of my bright visions for many a long month that I might clasp you to my heart while "You read from the treasured volume The poem of your choice And add to the rhyme of the poet the music of Your voice? Then the night shall be filled with music And the cares that infest the day Shall fold up their tent like the Arabs And as silently steal away:" My imagination has painted to me in clear lines and with a flash of sunlight over its front, a snug pretty little cottage on the verge of my horizon, with one waiting at its threshold, whose angelic face has from month to month been smiling upon me. May that fabric of fancy ere long become one of reality! How do you like "Ernst Linwood"? I have not read it but I know something about the author. She died about four days before the book was published She was a noble soul. My having charge of purchasing books for the Libraries here has given me more acquaintance with books than I had before. I wish Bro Hayden cold get $100 or so contributed and bring down with him. It would make a fine addition to the Eclectic Library. I can get books very cheap at Appleton's in N.Y. - How many volumes are there in the Library? If I recollect you have all of Dr Quincy's works there I received a letter from Bro H. a few days agooffering me $600 a year. He said nothing in regard to the condition of the different departments of the school, but I judge they are in a fair state. I can get a considerable more pay in other places - but I think, on the whole - I shall accept his offer for one year. I shall write to him in a day or two -- Your views and mine coincide perfectly, in regard to the Presidency of the Eclectic - I have by no means aspired to it; nor do I want it - Were I a third person - I would counsel the Trustees not to give it into the hands of so young a person as I am - I would not be willing to take it now, if ever, for I candidly believe, that in many respects the brethren overestimate me - In others they do not know me. Believe me, Darling, I am proud of you - to hear such dispassionate judgment as you have displayed in that letter - Expect to find your next letter in Poestenkill when I get there - Much love to your folks - and hopes of seeing you soon. I am as ever your own James.Williamstown, Mass. 56 Home, July 6th, Sunday evening. My Own James: If there is any poetry in the idea of sitting on a protruding rail of the backyard fence under an apple tree surely I am in a fair way of finding it out, and doubtless i shall too since any occupation is the quintessence of all that bears the name of poesy the darling delight in which my heart and hand so unitedly engage. Mrs. Collier and Mattie Lane are spending a few days with us and to be entirely alone with you I have stolen out here where the song of the birds and the soft rustling of the long grass as the summer breeze plays over it and the low sweet music of swaying boughs are the only sounds to greet my ear, and so entirely do all there sounds harmonize with my own feelings - so deep quiet and happy - that I surrender myself to the sweet fancy that you are near inviting me to your bosom in those low love-tones which come stealing to my ear. [?] that you were indeed here, that I might with a thousand kisses tell you how much I love you every hour and with ten thousand more thank you for all you have written in that last most 123precious of all letters. It has brought such a wealth of joy and peace to my sad-growing heart. You will not censure me too severely, my own, will you for not overcoming that strange dread of another meeting which its near approach brought? The memory of those few dreadful hours of last summer arose before me to vividly that my very heart sank, and for a few days it has seemed that all the sunshine of that perfect happiness which our last interview brought was departing forever; but thank Heaven, your words so full of fond assurance, have brought it all out again two fold more glorious than before. I know James that the awful abyss which seemed opening between us then has closed & I do not believe it can ever open again; still the recollection of its fearful darkness makes me tremble and I almost fear sometimes. It will not be so when I am with you, I am sure it will not, for I know that you love me strongly deeply devotedly, and that my love makes you very happy; and when I am with you the increased confidence of each hour will banish forever the terrors of that hour which knew those fearful heart struggles. You little know James the entire control your spirit holds over mine. It may be too great. Indeed I sometimes fear it is, but I cannot help it. nor have I the slightest inclination to if I could., It is too sweet a delight to be guided, controlled, yes ruled by the love of a strong spirit to wish the golden fetters loosed, and I love to yield my whole spirit to them as I yield myself into your loving arm for protection and then to know that it is as sweet a joy for you thus to receive me- to know that that control and protection are heart-given renders them doubly dear. The evening has grown chill and I am now sitting in my own room where 47 weeks ago last evening we sat together. Three weeks from to night perhaps I may sit with you again. I hope so indeed I do. The hours cannot number too few that must yet separate us. I did not return home until Thursday evening and have been so busy since that I have not seen Lizzie but I shall in a few days then I hope to be able to tell you when you may expect me. Just one month from to day is your commencement. You know there is one heart which will beat proudly for you then which will feel that it is honored by the love of one so good and noble, and will thus, dearest, be my recompense for the toil which that hour has or may cost you! Will your honors be any dearer to you for the proud joy they will bring to your loving "Crete's" heart! I would not be vain, but it is a pleasing fancy which I love to indulge that my love and interest sweeten all your toil, and give an increased vigor to every effort. I wrote in my last all that I know of Trustees' doings. I presume you have received a letter from Bro. Hayden before this. Almeda is notgoing away so Mother says. I guess she did not intend to very much when she was talking about it. She is going into our little southwest room that looks out over the peach tree. I feel a little as though I should like that room again myself, but this is much larger and pleasanter and convenience is sometimes preferable to poetry.- I cannot tell how much I enjoy being at home again finding that I have not got to start away to Ravenna again tomorrow morning. I never knew how to prize the blessing of freedom before. Then it makes my home seem so pleasant to think that you are coming back here again, and so soon we shall all be so near each other. Last week the frame of the new Church was raised. A sad accident happened to cast a shade over the people here. Owing to a mistake in the framing, one of the large rafters fell as the were raising it and killed a man. -Mr. George [Botos?] - instantly. He was the first man in town killed at a raising. I hope it is not ominous of any evil to the Church. - Mattie sends her particular love to you and a great long message besides which I have not room for, and guess I would not put it in if there was room, Mother also sends a great deal of love and so do all the rest too: I know. Two or three letters yet I must have from you before I start for your arms. One darling kiss and then good night. Most fondly your Lucretia [* I read this evening [the last chapter of Hebrews] James 1st: Are we still together, and with your Mother and Rebecca? L.*][*Hiram*] Poestenkill, July 13th 1856. Sunday Evening Lucretia Dearest. Your last precious letter was received just as I was leaving Williams on Thursday Afternoon. Our examinations closed on Wednesday Evening. For two days (Eight hours a day,) we were "put through" by the Sachems and sages of New England and at the conclusion of the second day the Examining committee announced that 44 of the class had creditably acquitted themselves and were accordingly admitted "ad primum gradum liberalium contium". I have worked unusually hard for the last three weeks and am more in need of rest than at any time since I came East. I worked off about 20 pounds of flesh in the last eight weeks, but know I shall regain it soon I think.I reached Troy about half past ten Thursday night and then I came on foot the rest of the way, reaching home here about half past one. I was to have been in Troy by the evening train (5 o clock) and Mr. Learned sent a team there for me, but I was hindered from starting so soon as I had hoped and so I came on foot - Since I came, I have done little else but to sleep and rest. Rebecca is here, and we are going to reading as soon as I can get my eyes open but we shall not do much about till you are with us. I have attended meetings today but could not muster up vigor enough to speak as I was desired. It has been & still is excessively warm & almost unbearable - but otherwise it is excessively pleasant. We are making calculations for fine times when you come and have several rambles already planned. Part of the vacation I cannot yet tell how much, I must be in Williams, arranging my affairs for leaving, and also preparing for Commencement. You must not expect much from me on Commencement Day for the time assigned to me is not one that can be made very popular nor very interesting and I wrote my piece in the bustle and hurry of the closing term and final Examination. You are right in supposing that your affection has been a stimulus to exertion in my toil for many a weary hour and week have been cheered by the thought that your approving smile was "ever ready to greet me" in my successes. I received a letter from Almeda a few days before I left Wms. She may be here to Commencement but I don't much Expect her. I shall send a letter tomorrow - accepting Bro. Haydenoffer for you one. I could make more money than to go there - and on many accounts I dislike to teach in the Eclectic - still - on the whole it seems to me best to go there for a time - and in the course of a year I hope to come to some determination in reference to my future course. How soon must I be in Hiram's does the school begin on the 18th day of August, or when? Don't understand me to say that I go to Hiram reluctantly or complainingly for I am very glad to be there on many accounts, some of which you are acquainted with - I am expecting a letter from you sometime this week telling me the times you will come so that we can meet you. Rebecca and Marie send love and many folks here are anxious to see you. With a heart full of love I am Your own James[*Poestenkill NY*] [*[JL 13,1856]*] Hiram. Sunday evening July 13th. My Own: Another week finds us alone Mattie has gone, and Mrs. Collier and baby, and our house is very quiet again - so quiet that I could enjoy to my satisfaction those two dear letters that came to me last night the one from Rebecca the other from you, my own dearer self, Do I only imagine that each letter you send me is dearer than any before or is each one an expression of a new love? However it may be it seems that a new love is anchored in my own bosom by each treasured line, and I am drawn nearer to you by the increased strength of that devotion it inspires. Then that beautiful poem of Longfellow [xxxxx] comes gliding in so smoothly and expressively; just as it did one year ago only with an increased beauty by the requotation. - Yes that 'little cottage' shall be filled with 124all the music and poetry of sweet affection which two loving hearts can bring into it; and the sunlight of love shall be all around it; and how very sweetly will the hours pass as alone all alone we shut ourselves in with its quietness. You would laugh to read Rebecca's letter. She has given me a description of herself to help me "imagine her [?]" as she says, surely there is no small amount of the comic in her nature, and I imagine we will not want a Shakespeare to supply us with comedy when she is with us. Will we not have some more times this summer? I'm sure we shall unless you study yourself into the "sleeping lethargy"; of which however I have but little fear. I rode down to see Lizzie last evening but did not find her at home. Her mother said however that the last letters Mr. Pratt wrote stated that he would be here about the 20th and as his time was limited he wished to start very soon after for the East. Consequently I shall probably be with you two weeks from this time. I hoped to be able to give you the exact time of starting now but as I cannot I will send you a line as soon as we can determine it if it is not too late for me to reach you before I should be there myself. If it is I presume I can find some coveyance from Troy to Poestenkill unless you should happen to meet me there which surely would be very much pleasanter. I presume we shall reach Troy sometime during the 25th or 6th still it is very uncertain. The hours are flying very swiftly and I shall be in your arms almost before I know it. How sweet! You ask my news of "Earnest Linwood" It is a most thrilling fascinating story; still it appears to me that the characters are overwrought. Her method of handling characters resembles very much Mrs. Southworth's. They both seize upon the extremes of whatever traits they would delineate which brings them out very boldly it is true but renders them notentirely natural I think. I don't know but such a character might be found as "Earnest" represents but I think it doubtful still the book contains many true and noble sentiments and I think is worth reading shall we read it together sometimes? I am reading "David Copperfield" now. It is a book to laugh and cry over; but none of Dicken's writings are particularly fascinating to me. I like to read them very well heavens, if for nothing else but to learn some of the peculiar features of English characters; and of English manners and customs. I wish Bro. Hayden could raise something for you to purchase books with. The Library has only about a hundred volumes I think. DeQuincy's works are among them-all I think. I am very glad that you have decided to come here next year. I understand that Miss Booth think it will not at all strange if Harry comes back another year also. He thinks he is not yet ready to go to Williams. I found a letter here from Barbara when I came home. I will tell you all about it when I am with you, and give you a kiss for your kind reproof of my hasty judgement upon her case. I can scarcely realize that I am finishing up the last letter of another year that is a few days more the response to this will be given verbally, but so I hope it is, until I see you am forever after all your own, Lucretia Williamstown Mass Hiram Nov. 9th 56. Dearest James: After you left me yesterday morning it seemed that all the shadows of the last few months were gathering down around me - overlapping each others and deepening into a terrible darkness. I locked myself in my rooms and wept. But wherefore weep? I asked. Could clouds like those be dissolved into tears? And with the sternness of despair I bade them to their hiding place. This morning with the first consciousness came the suns impression that I was still enveloped in that dreadful gloom, and if opening my eyes I had beheld gliding around me the pale ghosts of departed hopes mocking me with their unearthly laugh I should have felt no surprise. But were such dire sights to greet me? ----------The room 125was full of light, and quietly lovingly resting upon the floor was the soft beautiful November sunlight. Had I awakened? Awakened from that long fearful night of months which had wrapped my spirit in its deathly slumbers? And was all this glad light, of the day, or was it but a meteor flash sent to deceive me, and leave me then in a deeper darkness? I looked out over the bare earth, and it was the same beautiful earth it had been to me in other days. I thought of all my friends and loved them as of old. You no longer turned coldly away and chilled my heart to ice. Then I recollected it was Sunday, and the thought of meeting again with the worshippers of God again thrilled my soul with delight. Was all this but a delusion? Nothing ever seemed more real, and all day long I have been so unspeakably happy, and as the twilight deepened and the pale "evening star" looked down upon me I could think of you only as the loving and kind being who in other days blessed me with the devotion of a fond heart. The darkest hours of the past made no more impressions than ^would the recollections of a dark vision in dreams And it has seemed that you too were again happy - that the darkness had passed from off your soul. Perhaps it was only because I wished it might be so. Monday eve. It was a strangely happy day I spent yesterday and a strange letter this I commenced for you. Strange that I should tell to James every thought and feeling! Yes. So it has become. But I will not speak of that now I could not resist the invitation to write as I did last night but the result be what it might. Whether that awaking however was real or imaginary, I am very sure that there is a true and higher life to which we should both awake I do not believe that [??] your course for the last few months is the truest and noblest that youcan pursue, and I know that mine has been only downward. O how dreadful that those very hours which were promising only the deep true joys of an earnest happy life should have brought such recklessness such bitterness and anguish of spirit. James I am more and more convinced that there has been somewhere a great wrong - where I cannot tell nor would I say it was intended but I am sure that this seperation - of spirits which were once so entirely one is no natural result. Perhaps this wrong may never be known or if known never be made right, but what is more terrible I sometimes fear it will yet prove the union and final destruction of us both. Surely it will unless we mark out a [different] course different from that which for the last few months has been ours. -- I hope you can pardon me for writing such a letter as this, and I could wish that it might be a pleasure for you sometimes during the long dismal evenings of the coming winter to come and sit by me and read. I would promise to do all within my power to make those pleasant happy hours. But that Future alone can tell of all this, -- [*My love to your mother and sisters.*]"Look not mournfully into the Past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the present. It is thing. Go forth to meet the shadowy future without a fear and with a manly heart." Do not be frightened by this letter from our approaching ??? again I will not call up the terrors of the Past: but be as cheerful and glad as though all ??? right. Crete. 126[*Hiram Ohio*] [*Ohio*] Orange. Nov. 13th 1856. Lucretia Dearest, Half-dead with visiting. Even with my nearest earthly relations, I have taken the stillest corner of Uncle Boynton's table around which half a dozen are very determinedly chatting upon all topics, from Buchanan down to the last batch of neighborhood gossip. From what you know of range of feeling about now, you know how [I] much spirit echoes the voices around me. There is not thread of discourse - or line of conversation that does not bring me out to Hamlet's conclusion: "How stale and flat and profitless are all the uses of this unfriendly world!" And still the fault is probably in [*75*]myself and not in the world. I cam home(?) determined to be as brave and good as I could be and spend most of the time in visiting with mother and the rest of my folks. but really I seem to have lost all that I possessed in common with my kind- is it so or not? I don't know. Tuesday I went to Cleveland, intending to go to Cincinnati to take a course of vocal training for my throats sake or else spend a week at the Water Cure. I telegraphed to Cincinnati and found that the man could not attend to me here. I then went to the Water Cure and found they could do my throat no good unless I should stay one or two months. So both my projects failing after I had strolled around Cleveland till I found no more reason for strolling than for standing still and no inducement to do either, I came back last evening to Solon, and today came down here. Oh how the hours drag! Dearest, do you know what these yesterdays are? Hour after hour full of the insipid common place path of life! I find myself much more down in strength and flesh but yet I long to be plunged again into a whirlwind of work that I may make life tolerable. And still my folks persist in supposing me a fortunate and favored one in my life course! Lucretia, can you tell me what I am, and in what a condition? I will not refer now to the bright, joyful, hopeful past, and the terrible contract which every memory brings.back to my heart with such terrible power. I turn away from that past with a tearful eye and I dread to look forward to the great unknown and I stand writhing under the direct piercing rays of the terrible now. But I did not intend to pain you more by telling these my beads of sorrow - for I know something of your own heart throbs but forgive me - these emotions would ooze out at my finger ends, and distil a part of its bitterness upon this sheet. I don't know how I can live through the week. I may go to Hiram on Saturday but I do not know. It has been a long time since I have addressed a letter to you - This is done sorrowfully and tearfully and yet I desire to write on to you till the morning dawns, but the household is called to retire - I must lie down - With a heart that is throbbing for you. I am still your miserable James.[**[Jan 25, 57]*] [*Jan 28/57?*] [*Hiram Ohio*] Homeland, Sunday evening. James Dearest: Since noon Mary and I have read together Longfellow's "Golden Legend". How exquisitely beautiful some of its passages! and some of its little delicate thoughts so sweetly and touchingly expressed! You have read it have you not? How I wish you could slip quietly in here very very often and sitting down beside our cheerful grate with one of us or either hand share with us some of those little golden treasures that we gather out of the moments. Life gives us an hour together so rarely that it [*128*]must be all vested on the mere surface of existence, and the secret sympathy of thought and feeling which is the charm of all love can rarely if ever, be reached. Mary and I often think of our little circle at home and wish that it might close around our little fireside to enjoy some sweetly passing hour. How glad I was to receive your little line last night. I inquired at the Office but there was nothing nothing there. When I reached home however it was waiting for me as patiently as possible. Mr. [Oviatt?] would not submit to the unjust decision of the Board, and they were finally obliged to restore to him his [?]. Are you not glad? Mr. Pierce has succeeded at last I hope in giving full vent to his spite towards Mary and I. When we received pay we found a declaration of wages for a day and half. We asked him for an explanation and found that he had counted up every hour and minute that we were about through the term even to the five minutes that I discussed one night before the time to get a little more time to clean their old dirty school room. And counting all that even he could not smoke out quite a day and half of mine and in Mary's case counting every moment it amounted to only a little over a day. He tried to excuse himself by saying that that was to be the regulation now. But {*I found a little poem dedicated to me. How every heart string thrills and vibrates again! O that those words "Rent the last veil" might prove not as I once thought a history but a prophecy. But God shield me lest I hope against all hope, and feel again the piercing caress of disappointment. Be still my heart. Be still. Be still.*]there was no other case where there was any dedication made, although there were teachers absent more than we were, and he knew it too. We cared little about the pay. But we did care for the mean injustice shown, and in Mary's case it was not only injustice but shameful ingratitude ?o??e of the oldest and best teachers as she is. I cannot begin to tell all the little mean things he said, and I don't want to--I have written more now than I intended: but I could not help showing a little of my indignation. There is a resolution before the Board now which Mr. ?eese says will pass without doubt to reduce the wages of the Primary teachers to $280 a year. The moment that passes, or that I hear of it, I shall resign; and I guess there are not many but that will also. they are preparing for an entire smash up, and perhaps the sooner it comes the better. Now have I not contributed a great deal to your edification? Love to Harry and tell him we sympathize deeply with him in his auricular affliction. You must certainly be here next Friday evening. Prentice has not been here yet and possibly he may be here at that time. We will let you know if we should learn that he ???ld i? ti?e, you did not tell me your last news from Marian. As ever your Crete. P.S. Allow me to remind you that I have an especial claim upon you for "Feb. 25th." An old claim of two years standing. Looking over my letters for the one bearing this date Cleveland, May 8th '57. James Dearest: Indeed you were a very naughty boy to make me promise to write you a letter; for I had fully determined that no letter you should get until I had received one from you; still I don't care much just now for I have wanted you here so much this evening to enjoy with me one of the most enrapturing sights I have ever witnessed. Smith's Panarama of the Tour of Europe. Starting [with] from Rouen France we have followed the Artist through France Belgium Germany Prussia Switzerland & Italy - stopping at many of the principal cities - lingering beside beautiful fountains - gazing at the most exquisite specimens of Art - then away many the terrible sublimities of the switzers pride - the snow clad [*130*]Alps" - first viewing them in the clear full sunlight - then at the twilight hour when every peak and crag was tinged with rosy hue - now standing upon the verge of Vesuvius crater looking down into its yawning depths - then with the Neapolitan watching it when erupt in lurid flames and pouring into the sea its rivers of fire. But don't think I am crazy - musing on at such a rate as this. I have only been lost in most delightful raptures, and can scarcely restrain tongue or pen from pouring forth the most ludicrous extravagancies It is all in vain - however - I can give you only the faintest idea of the beauty and perfection of those paintings. I only wish you could see them. I do not believe I could have felt any more powerfully the overwhelming grandeur, and magnificence of Alpine scenery had I looked upon the original. If you were only to be here tomorrow night - then you too could see and feel it all yourself. - But when do you come again? There is so much here to enjoy that I long for some old friend to share it with me. I am at my new boarding place now and have a very pleasant room mate - one of the teachers a graduate from Mount Holyoke - but I cannot love her yet as one of my old friends, and whenever we go out upon the lake-shore or visit any place or thing interest - somehow I cannot help wishing it were an old heart friend near. I cannot learn to love the changes which life seems to bring, and I often find my heart asking for the sweet hallucinations of my early dreams. - I love my little school very much - never felt better satisfied with my efforts than now. I am continually becoming more and more pleased with the method of teaching and drillingin these Union schools. It may be petty in some respects, but I am sure is far ahead of any thing I have known anything about before. I am getting every day slower and more thorough - do not try to teach the children only a very few things, but try to make those few thoroughly understood and leave them firmly impressed. A dissertation on school teaching now!! well good night, perhaps my brain will be cooler when the morning breezes blow. Another beautiful morning - How refreshing the sunlight after so many dark rainy days. Such a nice time I had getting home the morning you left me. - Noon. The breakfast bell called me, and I have been busy ever since while at the Physiology examination Harry - bless him - came in - gave me a letter - have just been reading it - part from Mary part from Harvey. How much good they have done me. I can never tell how much I love you all at Home. It seems as though I had no heart left for anyone else. And then to be away from you all. And every hour miss you so much. Harry is going tot call here soon, and a fine visit I am promising myself. I am so glad Mr. Hayden sent him out here - I wish he would send some of you every day. Harvey writes me such a good letter - speaks of Barbara's marriage, but does not regret it - says he is happier in his new love. I am glad if he can be. Dare I hope for a answer to such a thing as this! I believe I might if you could only know how happy it would make me. Tell Almeda I am waiting very patiently for a letter from her. [?] Loving Crete. [*I send by Harry as you will receive sooner than by mail.*][*15 Euclid? Eustis? St 1 Cleveland Ohio*] Hiram, May 18th, 1857. Dearest Crete - I was very glad to hear from you - and to learn that you were so pleasantly situated in your school and boarding place. Harry brought back glowing accounts of your situation. I have had an exceedingly busy time since I saw you. We are preparing for two public Lyceums this coming week - and I have had every piece to criticise and every colloquy to hear - It is a great bore I assure you. I wish you could be out here Thursday or Friday Evenings. Can't you come on Friday? Do. I want to have a visit with you very much. And I think you ought to want to see Hiram by this time - [*77*]I suppose you heard [Mr?] Hayden yesterday. I was [out?] meeting here for the first time in three months . The storm is gathering over the school thicker than ever - next Wednesday will probably see it burst. All the enginery of wire-working and slander seem to be in full play. I am not an actor in the drama but a victim. Some of my "good friends" are afraid that the young man is ambitious and they think it best to take down his feather a little. So they have resurrected an old senseless and shameful lie of three or four years ago, and are attempting to give it a modern dress. The air is foul with slander. Alvah Udall tells me that the two fountains whence flow these aromatic [rivulets?] are the Hayden family and the Woods of Perry. They are trying to throw me into the cesspool thus formed [they are trying to throw me] as Falstaff was [tumbled?] into the Thames. All these things put the Trustees into a quandary - and they will probably feel concerning Norman and me as a church committee once did. One of candidates for the ministry, they decided, had a genuine call, but was not qualified. The other was qualified but had not a genuine call. The Lord seems to have made the same mistake in reference to the case before us. You see the case. What the upshot will be I cannot tell. The weakness of poor human nature was never more clearly seen than it is now. I am sometimes so disgusted with the whole thing as to be almost resolved to throw it all away & to go to the more liberal "deeds of the Law." I have but very little expectation that I shall remain here any longer. I hoped ere this to have a course of life marked out - sed viscum abiter dio - I should be glad to see the panorama of which you speak so enthusiastically - and Oh - I long to see the sublime originals themselves - I shall be in Cleveland a week next Saturday but I want to hear from you before I go. Write soon to your [?] and anomalous & loving James[{May 19 1857} JaGarfield Hiram Ohio] Cleveland Ohio. May 23/57 Thursday eve. Dearest James: As I cannot be at Hiram this evening enjoying with you the rich intellectual feast there provided by the youth and beauty of the Eclectic's halls I am glad to be alone. One of our gentlemen invited the ladies here out to a ball given by the "Forest City Lyceum" this evening, but as I rarely dance I declined of course accepting it, and they have left me with my own thoughts, and I have the optimism not to feel in the least sorry. Our "good lady" has voluntarily given me permission to burn the gas--you will understand what this was ??tt?? sometimes--in the dining room as long as I choose, and most gladly do I avail myself of this precious privilege, and improve this quiet hour addressing you--Responding a few [132]words to your kind letter yesterday received. I need not tell you that it was a sweet pleasure to receive again words traced by your hand and were I to follow the impulses of my whole being, the pen would be given to my heart once more. But no I dare not trust it lest I forget the terrible truth which I have been forced to believe - that I cannot make the one for whom I would have lived and died entirely happy. Heaven alone knows the struggle it has cost to yield up that fond delusion. I dare do nothing to call it back. I strive to forget the Past, and to have no thought for the Future To meet you - to be with you is a present pleasure of which I have no strength to deprive myself, and when I see you seemingly not miserable in my presence I count every moment that I can be with you a treasure. Sometimes a thought comes over me that perchance our course is only leading on to deeper sorrows in the future but I have no strength to turn aside into another path, and can only yield the guidance alone to God. With my hands clasped upon my heart daily I repeat the fervent prayer "Father thy will be done." Pardon me James if I have said aught that may awaken a sad thought. I have expressed far more than I designed when I commenced. - You write of the prospects at H. - also of the treatment you are receiving from some "good friends". I suppose the decisions of the Trustees is already known. I hope they have acted wisely; It is not possible that they are men of so little discrimination as to be influenced by any such baseless reports as those to which you refer. I do not wonder nor blame you in the least that you feellike giving over the Eclectic, and turning your course in some other direction. But James you will not turn all your attention to "Law" before the most careful and candid consideration of Life and all its interests and aims will you? I presume I have received an unjust bias against that profession but I must confess I cannot see a high order of talent all devoted to it without feeling that there is a waste,- that there is a hight and depth of thought and feeling which it can never reach. My ignorance of it of course - allows me no just appreciation of its real nobility, and if I am wrong I hope to be corrected. — Another week and I may expect you here again and may I not expect you before Saturday [evening] evening? Can you not come out on the morning train? As your inclination prompts however, I ask nothing which is not your delight to grant. Should it be your pleasure to write again before coming you know that it will be my pleasure to receive it. The Presbyterian General Assembly is in session now, and the streets are filled with "Divines". I presume we shall be entertained with some fine specimens of theological talent. No more at present from your loving Crete.[{1852}] Tuesday. Hiram. June 16th. James Dearest: Once it was my sweetest pleasure when away from you to give all my thoughts to the pen and send them away on their little missions of love to you, but the experiences of the last year have inspired almost a dread of this silent messenger; for I cannot but fear that it is not faithful to its trust, or at least that it conveys to you in ???s??ons, and wakens expectations which may p??ss??? for is to make you realize, and I have sometimes felt that I would never through it transmit to you another thought. Is it not true that ???????? and almost all you have known of me was gained not from my lips or my actions but from my pen! And I have determined that it should be so no longer, that whatever you should [120] Every agonizing heart throb will but hasten the hour of my release from a life bereft of easy joy. I have written you a long letter James will you not as fully respond? If it is indeed a heart-felt wish which you expressed that the cloud depart and leave us yet in the light of our mutual love let it be in the light which the love of unveiled hearts can give! -------------------------------------------- I did not see the proof sheet of your programmes. Mr. Curtis called for it at noon yesterday but it was not ready and when he called again at night they were half struck off. Mr. Fairbanks said he could not wait as they must be sent out to day. I presume however they were all right. Hope so at least. How much I want to be with you to-morrow. I am afraid I shall be thinking about you when I ought to be giving my attention to my children.know of my inner life should be learned from myself, then only such thoughts of me as my presence with you could justify would be awakened; and by this decision I still abide consequently I shall write now not of myself but of you. I sometimes feel that I know you far better than you know yourself not that one so dispassionate as doubtless I am can understand all the intensity of such a nature as yours but so far as deep earnest feeling may be able to comprehend it, I feel that I hear and can sympathize with yours. Youth is ardent and glowing with the brilliant hopes of its own creation. Love is its strongest principle, and around it all these golden expectations cluster. To common minds, the disarming of those glorious visions by the realities of this life-caused by sine is but a quiet change to which they soon become accustomed, and perhaps even forget that their expected happiness is not all gained, but to a few like you the fading of this promised future into the common realities of life is like the going out of the Sun. The glories and terror of the tempest sweep over the soul, and when it has passed by often nothing is seen but the wreck; and James I have sometimes doubted whether one like you could pass through unwrecked, but even if you did could I who had been so intimately associated with that darkness hope to appear again in your vision of happiness. Could I from whom every feeling of your heart had turned away hope to be received home to that heart again? No, no I could not hope; still a hand- I trust of wisdom-has stayed me from separating myself entirely from you. At times all the pride of my woman's nature has risen in rebellion against my passive course, and bade me sever the last tie that bound me in any way to you, but my woman's heart was too weak for the struggle it must have cost, and I have lived on waiting, waiting but you must tell all about it when you write. I sent Alameda's silk out by a lady from Ohio City. I presume she received it safe and sound. Give my love to the noble good woman. If those who slander her had done half as much for my happiness as she had they might feel that they had something to lighten their consciences. No more at present from your loving Crete.[*This should be 16 June 1857 HB*] until the river cloud should reveal all. I felt too that the world had no sympathy with you - that it knew nothing of your suffering and would only blame when rather it should only pity and I dared - indeed I had no wish to do any thing which might add only bitterness to your cup already overflowing with sorrow [I] - I however great the anguish, I times you - treatment may have occasioned me, never have I doubted your sincerity. and I could only exclaim as I contrested the happiness of the joyous past with that terrible moment. O the bliss and yet the bitter anguish of being loved by such a nature! The vivid imagination of your vow impulsive nature had led you to expect far too much, away from the idol of your dreams you clothed her with every grace and charm your exuberant fancy could excite. Her imperfections were all forgotten, and when the time came which brought her to your arms, how they glared upon you. Had you never been parted from her this terrible revulsion of feeling might have appeared in a milder form and left you more calmly to judge of your true feelings. But, James dearest, with you I can now say that I regret it not: for if your heart ever turns back to me for happiness. I believe it will be in a purer truer union of deep abiding thought and sentiment our hearts will reset and our lives be made more entirely one, than in our brightest dreams we ever before imaged then and if this is not to be; I can no more than die and Salem, June 24th, 1857 Crete Dearest, I have just found your precious letter of the 21st in the Office. I am now on my way to Bedford to spend the day & night. Tomorrow I shall be in Cleveland. Whether in the morning or evening I cannot tell. I hope to spend the week there. I have considerable business to do, and I shall hope to do it and also have some time to visit you and the school. I have been made very glad by your very dear letter - my heart was very much needing just such a gift as that. But I have Exhausted my little moment before starting - & must close this little [?]. Always as Ever Your curious yet loving James[*Belton Va*] [*1857*] [*57?*] [*[Je 30, 1857]*] Cleveland, Tues. Eve, June 30th James Dearest. How sweet to pass into the charmed stillness of the "sleeping palace" and reclining upon the enchanted couch sink into dreamless slumber until the kiss of love pressed upon my lips should call my spirit back to life again! These moments! how can I endure them. such a lifetime of bliss and of terrible anguish is crowded into them! A new born hope just trembling with the faintest pulsations of life rests upon my heart. A hope beautiful as the blush of morning - glorious as Heaven - but frail as the pearly dewdrop. A touch may crush it, a breath sweep it away; and yet I must bear it here in all its feebleness, waiting [*137*]waiting in agonizing suspense for the word the look which shall give it promise of life or place upon it the dark seal of death. Your last words to me "courage for my sake" give me a little strength yet the doubts and fears which flock unwelcomed round make me sight for the forgetfulness of the silent realms of sleep. James dearest, do not leave me here long to suffer. Almost I feel like pleading with you to know your own heart - to pass beyond the inner veil and search if there be yet in that sacred place ascending from the golden [?] of love, a longing more earnest than any other for a return to Crete's heart. if there is no such prayer arising, come tell me and with the feeling of this last hope I will ask that my life fade away into the light of Heaven: and beyond the clouds only their silver lining will be seen. But should you find that desire still there this new hope this hope to make you happy- will become a strong selfsustaining life- giving principle which will impart to me a strength nothing has ever given before. James I can never tell you how much I thank you for all you said to me last Sunday night. You drew a veil from before my eyes which has long blinded me, and the life-path which hitherto had been seen only in perspective with its beginning hidden in circling mists, could be traced near to my waiting footsteps. Ever before even when the future was the brightest- a mist -a darkness settled down between it and the present which made me dread to approach it much as I may have wished to pass into the realization of its joys. True I hoped that darkness would disappear as we drew near still I know of no light which might illume it. For one long year we have wandered through that midnight gloom, hidden from each other and saved from plunging int the deep [good?] of despair which passed between us by the hand of Providence alone. Now I feel that almost we have passed through. So nearly that the light from beyond pierces the gloom. Still James you tell me that there are "little caverns yet unexplored". Doubly dark they became by the light which surrounds them, and perchance ever yet we may be lost but to each other. Still -- I will express no more. My God guide us. - I trust your trip is proving entirely satisfactory and that you will return to us invigorated both in body and mind. Very soon let your loving Crete hear from you.[*Cleveland, Ohio*] Bethany July 4th 1857 Dearest Crete - At 7 o'clock last Monday morning I found myself seated in the cars and starting away for Wellsville- At Alliance I found Harry - and at 11 we reached Wellsville - In an hour we went onto Steubenville- We spent three or four hours there- visiting a Female Seminary in that place and then went on through a wild country toward Columbus. Stopped at Miller's Station and went on foot (2 1/2 miles), to Hopedale Attended the Commencement of the McNeely Normal School on the next day and spent another night there - While we were at Bro Cyrus Mc Neely's a fugitive came there in the night - from Wheeling Va. She was a very intelligent lady of 22 years - and while I conversed with her I could not but feel the Enormity of a system which should enslave such as she - Wednesday morning we started and reached Bethany in the Evening - That evening there was an exhibition of the American Literary Society & the next evening the Neotrophian - Last evening I listened to a sermon from Bro. T. M. Allen of Missouri. I have been very kindly received here by all the brothers. I have been to Bros. Campbell's. Pendleton Richardson's & several other places - by special invitation - There are many interesting old men here - Bro Scott - Bently &c - I think now that I shall stay here till Monday or Tuesday & then go to Steubenville next Wednesday and Thursday - That will cut my time so short that I dont believe I can get back to my appointment in Cleveland - But I will write to you again before long - I have not received a letter from you yet though I expect one this evening Bro Hayden (William) has just come in and wants me to go with him - & I must close I would love to read Pickwick with you as we did a week ago to day - Can you for forgive such a scrawl as this - Hoping to be in your arms ere many weeks I am Ever Your loving, James P.S. Direct your next letter to N.Y. City JAG[*Cleveland Ohio*] Hiram. Aug 31. [*(Mond) /57*] Dearest Crete - I find I shall have to go to Ravenna to hold an examination next Saturday - and since I am so near I will get round to Bedford in the Evening and so be there on Sunday -- My College Classmate Hazen is here with me tonight -- He was in Cleveland all day yesterday -- His newly wedded wife is there now. I find several new scholars & a very sore throat -- I found Mary on her way to the west -- I have only time to drop this note -- in hopes that you can be at Bedford -- I presume several of us will be there -- I want very much to talk with you a long time -- My love to Mary -- and tell her "I know Crete can" -- With an earnest wish to be good and noble -- & with a heart that loves you - I am as you knew me, James [*80*]Jamie is mine.Cleveland, Sept. 1st, 57 My Dear James: Yes mine forever though a [?] and whether separate [?] as far as the east is from the west. Whatever our earthly relations may be, in our mutual trust we are one and belong to each other, and in view of this truth I no longer fear to reveal to you every thought. I know that my motives will be understood however freely I may speak. The fear which has so long sealed my lips - that James might construe and expression of my real thoughts and feelings into a design on my past to gain my own selfish ends no longer haunts me. I believe that you trust me now, and I know that in my own heart has been weakened that confidence which brough such sweet peace to my spirit two years ago. James do you know that it was the withdrawal of that confidence in me which pressed home to this questioning heart the keenest dagger! How many many times have I felt that if you would only love me just enough to come and tell me all I could endure to know the worst; but to see you shrink away from me as though you could not endure my presence, and hide from me the truth, was almost more than I could bear. May Heaven spare me from ever living again such hours of bitter anguish. Pardon me for attending to them. It is the last time. They have told upon my heart the lesson I trust they were sent to teach. Their mission has been fulfilled - let them pass unnoticed to you. - I would much rather rest with you beside Erie's moonlit waters and feel my heart throbbing against your own while I talk to you to night, but I will not wait until I may be so blessed before saying some things so long unsaid. - James the bright ideal of life and of love which we here held up before us was indeed very beautiful; but was it the true one! Can the human heart bear the tests to which it may be submitted by it? I had hoped that it might. Indeed I had almost yes entirely trusted that a love as pure and deep as I believe ours to have been could never never meet with any thing that would possibly turn it from its course or prove even the slightest interruption. I was telling whether this as I remarked that it might be an error. Her reply was if there was no danger of any such thing happening - if her loving hands would find only in each other all that would satisfy there would have been no necessity for the marriage now. May be it is so. If there could be no temptation - no danger of turning to another why register in Hiram this was of constancy? I blame you fornothing, for whatever you may have done I believe to have been done most innocently. You trusted your heart's faithfulness; and allowed the generous and gushing affection of your warm impulsive nature to go out in all its fullness towards another than the one to whom you had pledged your all. All innocently as this was done I cannot blame you, and could the affect which all the past of our intimacy might have over you be blotted out, I would say to you this hour go and marry Rebecca; and hereafter trust not your heart so far. Rebecca is a good and noble girl in many aspects far my superior but she loves you no better than Crete. If however you love her better - if she can satisfy the wants of your nature better, and more than all if you can with her become a good and noble man in spite of all the past, Crete can give you up, and pronounce upon your love a sister's blessing. You told me that judgement prompted you to another course, that to feel yourself an honorable generous man you must take me done to your heart let feeling dictate whatever it might. I have thought I could never allow that - that I could never be your wife unless every feeling of your heart seconded the decision of reason.Perhaps I asked too much. But, James to be an unloved wife. - O Heaven, I could not endure it. I am not exacting. It would excite no spirit of jealousy in my heart to know that my husband admired and even loved a thousand others, and knew that they possessed traits superior to mine; but I do feel it to be my right to claim this sweet assurance that I am his choice, and that however much he may find to be more admired in others he will not turn away from me to them, but rather seek to correct my faults, and make me like them. I want to find in my husband that strength of love which can steel itself against every attraction that might come between us - which will hold me nearest his heart in spite of every impulse which an ardent nature might feel. Now James I freely pardon any error your ignorance of the human heart may have led you to commit [*140*]but I do hope - whatever course you may take - that here after you will be more guarded, for your own happiness if nothing more. It pains me to see you so miserable as you are at times, and sometimes I feel that I could dare almost any thing, even for the hope of making you happy again But could I - could I become your wife and see that last hope fail. O no, no, no. If it would not fail may God help me to know it. Then I will make the trial. James write to me very soon. Keep nothing back that is in your heart. - A word about our schools then I will close. I am very pleasantly situated with over 90 little fellows in charge. The school will be divided in a few days, then I shall have a fine time. I am not going to fail. You needn't have a fear of it. I had no intention of it when I was talking so. And you do you grow discouraged and disheartened at the prospect before you? I do not wonder that you feel like letting the trustees choose to go to destruction - with the Eclectic if they will. But James don't do so. Let your "power" be felt, and you will be appreciated sometime, and reap the reward of your labors. Don't work too hard. Take care of your health, if for no other purpose not least for the good you may do. I do not think I shall attend the Bedford meetings you can tell Charles where I am so that he can find me. [*Shall I expect you two weeks from next Saturday? Direct to care of Harley Wright. Yours most lovingly Crete.[1857] [Se 4,1857] [57?] Cleveland Friday morn. Sept 4th Dear James: I did not receive your line of Monday until yesterday- was very thankful for it, but do not think it best to comply with the request it contains. I should love to meet you at Bedford, but you know it will be a poor place to go for any rest, and I should come back to my school Monday morning feeling as weary as I shall leave it to night. Again there is no train on that road comes in mornings until 9. [?] A.M. and I could not get back in time for school, consequently it would not do at all for me to think of going. I sent you a long letter a few days ago and am expecting a reply soon our long talk must be postponed until you can come andsee me. We are in our own room now a nice cozy little place and we give swift wing to the hours. I assure you. Do come as soon as you can. Hoping that in all things you may be blessed and made happy I remain the same Crete as ever. My love to Almeda Harry and all the good people. Please bring " [?] " when you come again. It as at Miss. Booth's room. *very pleasant I like the family much Come + see us often. Cleveland friends seem near but Hiram friends never My love to them + reserve a large share for yourself. As ever your friend. Mary Dear Teacher! I find that Crete can and is doing well in school. She gets very weary but a good nights rest restores [?] nature. John C. Hale has commenced right the pupils say he is so particular [?] [?] says one "he is only stern" We feel encouraged & will support him if capable Each room is filled to overflowing. My dear pupils are now in the Grammar School & I find myself surrounded by those I have never taught, but theirbright eyes & happy faces tell they are teachable. May I be able to meet anticipate & meet their wants & rightly discriminate between right & wrong. I feel quite at home, O it is so nice to have C with me! We are so happy! Last evening we moved intoour own room*[*Cleveland Ohio*] Hiram. Friday Sep 18th 1857 Crete Dearest - not less than six or seven distinct times I have set to answer your good letter but every time some inexusable duty has come in and prevented me - My last two Saturdays have been given to Yearly meetings - and at the Akron meeting I had to speak so that absorbed much of my time and thoughts - Still more I have expected all along to go to Cleveland tomorrow - but now I must put that off - We have an examination in Ravenna that day - and the brethren think I ought to be here Sunday - There is a deep religious interest in the school - Town were immersed last Sunday. [*81*]A few days ago I found that my lecture in Brooklyn - before the Institute was to come off next Tuesday or Wednesday and I had not a word written - So you see, in addition to other things - that I am in my usual pickle about writing a lecture - I shall try to go out Tuesday Evening and not return till Thursday morning - if by staying that time, I can get some of them to come in turn to our Institute at the close of this term - which by the way is a project we are just having under consideration - I must now - go over to the Seminary to consult about it - You will not blame me for not writing will you? I intend to write a response to some of the good and noble things you said in that letter but I will not attempt it now - Give my love to Mary - and my thanks for her lines that she sent me in your letter. Almeda talks of going to Cleveland tomorrow - She does not know certainly - In sincerity and love I am a peculiar kind of James -[*Cleveland Ohio*] Newburg, Sat. Oct. 24th 1857. Lucretia Dearest, A few days ago I found that an appointment had been made for me to hold a meeting of two days in that place. This appointment was made without my knowledge or direct consent. No disciple had ever spoken here - and the people were anxious to hear one - Bro. Matthews (Oscar's Uncle) made the arrangement - and I thought I would try to do what I could for them - When I arrived here I found that the Congregationalists had sent off to get one of their ministers to preoccupy the pulpit - before my arrival - This was a strange proceeding - and I resolved to have nothing to do with any [*82*]denominational controversy - But their minister did not arrive - and I spoke last evening to a fine little audience - which gave me the very best of attention - I am to speak again this evening - and tomorrow, & tomorrow evening - if we can have the house - Judge of my surprise when I learn that the minister - sent for to forstall me - was our old dear friend Edwin Gilbert of Chester - I have not heard from him for many years - I hope to see him tonight. It has been thus far a dreary drizzly-day and I have been reading one of the most charming books I ever saw - Spenser's "Fairy Queen" - Immediately he leads us into an uncharted land - and holds us enchained by the most gorgeous imagery - and floats us delightfully along by the liquid beauty of his verse - A little while ago he led me down into his cave of Despair - where my spirit had often gone before I saw his picture of the place Oh no I have never been further than into the vestibule - I must quote you a little of it - Eve ling the come where that same wicked night His dwelling has low in a hollow cave, For underneath a craggy cliff afight - Dark dolefulm dreary like a gruely grave. That still for carrion carcasses doth come On top whereof here dwelt the ghastly owl shrieking his baleful note which ever drove Fear from that haunt all other cheerful for And all about it wandering ghosts did swirl and howl!And all about old stocks and stubs of trees Whereon nor fruit nor leaf was never seen Did hang upon the ragged rocky Knees; On which had many wretches hanged been Whose carcasses were scattered on the green, And thrown about the cliffs + + + + + + + That darksome cave they enter, where they find That cursed man, low sitting on the ground Musing full sadly in his sullen mind: His greasy locks low growén & unbound Disordered hung about his shoulders round, And hid his face; through which his hollow eyne. Looked deadly dull and stared as astoun'd; --- His raw-bone cheeks, through penury & pine Were sunk into his jaws - as he did never dine - His garment, nought but many ragged clouts With thorns together pinned and patched was The which his naked sides he wrapped about And him beside there lay upon the grass A dreary corse whose life away did pass All wallowed in his own yet lukewarm blood, Not from his wound yet well'd fresh also - In which an rusty knife fast fixed stood A made an open passage for the gushing blood - That corse was the body of a man whom Despair had prompted to Kill himself - I did not thing of you so much - but there is such a vivid, terrible ness in it - What goes after - is if possible more terrible than this - There is a kind of gloom in the book then [?] and in my soul but makes a [?] [?]I did not think of saying to [??????] things on Spenser's [c????] [????] when I took up the pen for this was the purpose for which I wrote - The subject on which we agreed to write has so many features to it that I approach it with a greater feeling of importance than any one that Ever engaged my attention So fraught with joy & sorrow - pain & pleasure - hope and fear is it that I know not how to think of it - However in the light and shadow of it all - I constantly have before my mind some conclusions - and first there lies before me only two courses in life - as I told you when we talked together - I must either pass my life with you - or I must pass it alone - There is not - nor has there been before my mind and heart any third course - James. [*Nelly says she shall train Crete if she does not come home soon - Examinations are going off well - Tremendously rushed with work - J*]Now I do believe that it is in my heart to be just what is duty; and God being my helper - I will try to do it -. My fear is this that should I be wanted in that tie that binds so undissolubly in reflection of the past - under [?ally] of the things I have told you - in reference to my own heart - might arise - and will be bitterness in our cup - And oh - the thought - no not that but the possiblility there there might grow up un estrangement of feeling - between us is too terrible for me to contemplate What think you, Crete dear, what the hours of adversity were upon us what life was laden with cares and perplexiters that you then if you saw me how divided and my nature gloomy with the things around me think you that you would even think - that perhaps we had made a mistake? It is that we might go with a full knowledge of the case that I have to let you all as I have - Darling One it was not - never - never - that I wished a release from our sacred engagement that I told you what I did - I never wished it for my sake - but I have wished for your sake that you had never loved me - But that I believe was a wrong and wicked wish of [?] these I have mentioned are my fears but yet what always - They cover me at times with a terrible - and take away almost every nightmares and hope - But the time I feel as if we had [?] of mind and heart to live together - and bless each other - it may be that's when we should be united in that closer union - and feel our hopes and interests one - we should find a joy deeper - and richer than we have yet known - for Dearest Crete [?nt] you to tell me just your [?] thoughts upon this subject - without a reserve and whatever betide let us be the same affectionate loving hearts that we have been - I don't feel at all like removing the caprice of the [?ple] and affecting an exchange now where it does not exist in my heart You and I have a life to live for ourselves, that is above the mere breath of the popular crowd and let there now as they may. I think if we are true to our own souls we shall have a higher approval than they can give us - I dont expect that the people will ever much understand us nor do I care if only we can understand ourselves - What right has society to make any demands upon us more than a life virtue! But write to me your thoughts - and the moment that reveals a clear path - will find me walking in it - May God grant to give us peace - and a life together - Your James [*Give my love to Mary. Tell her to come and see us when you do - if she thinks it would at all do - Crete You must come and see your mother - She want to see very much -*] [*83*][*[Oc 26, 1857]*] [*Hiram Ohio*] [*1857*] Cleveland. Monday eve. Oct. 26.57. My Dear James: Safely at home again with the day's labors ended I in picd the first lisene in responding to that kind message your own hand place in mine this morning. To the first sheet I have given the place that the hand which penned and the heart which prompted asked for its one near very near my heart. And now I turn to the second to give responce to the thoughts which it contains. Quiet candidly and frankly I will reply, dearest James, no veil which the feblidion hand of pride can deare shall be the thrown over my heart to night but clearly and openly as every thought comes into my presence so shall it now appear before you. [*142*]Tho not every thought for pages and sheets would be filled before all could be told so long and earnestly has my spirit pondered over the deep mysteries of our lives-our life rather. The question you ask me I can answer most promptly You know nothing at all of the love which my heart has cherished for you if you suppose- as I understood you - that the "clouded haze and gloominess" which the perplexities of life might bring could for one moment make me feel that the fatal mistake of thousands had been made by us; but should I find myself in those stark hours capable of creating no sunshine for you- should I find this deepest joy of the true wife fail me, then I should feel it infect all its bitterness and it would poison every moment of my existence. As such a time I dare not promise James that the memory of the past would not rise up to add keenness to the sting; but it would be only in such a case. So long as I could feel the power to make you happy- so long as I could now that your heart turned to me for its deepest truest earthly enjoyment so long as any reflection of the past or any thing you may have told me of your heart would have no influence over me. You know how far it must influence you. You know whether or not the recollection of those terrible feelings which once turned your heart from me do not at times bring them back again and I trust to that honesty which led you to confess those feelings to decide what your future course shall be. Upon mine I have decided so far as I can independently of yours. Thereis not nor has there been in my mind [fourteen?] long years are doubt of my entire devotion to you and you alone my love for you has become the largest part of myself and it has bound me to you with cords I could not sever, and I do not believe it right that I should ever wish to. When I did wish it for your sake, and tried to gain strength for it, no peace came to my soul, but the moment I settled down upon this condition that the pledge so sacredly and solemnly made by our spirits could not be violated without sin, and that whatever course you might take I would still remain faithful to it that moment the light of happiness shone perfectly around me again. You too had taken the same position and now the only question remaining is shall we unite our destinies inthat relationship which should make us one in all our duties and ease or shall we remain with interests still divided alone in our own hopes joys and [??????]! James, my heart tells me that I have not returned from the path that was leading to that nearer union and if I ever meet you I shall know that you have returned to it; for I know you will not deceive me; but with your cannot remain the decision of that question whether you will return or not; I have no power to say to you come or remain away, soon would I used it if I had. Your own free will [alone] guarded by the counsels of [time?] is able to bring you back to me Though there are times when doubts of everything come over my spirit. that [143]that I almost fear to trust the future with you ever should return. Still when there is one ray of hope for anything in life my confidence is so entire in the wisdom of that course which led us to the pledges we have made that I firmly believe a willing return to it would receive the blessing of Heaven and our [united?] destiny honoured with a happiness we have not yet know. Should we remain as we are I will be true to you so far as I can honorably do so. You are right in your opinion that we should finger no estrangement merely to please the caprice of the people. I will not be influenced by that. But the moment our present [?] intimacy becomes in any way connected with dishonor in your eyes I must withdraw from it. whatever be the promptings of my heart. Continue to speak to me freely and let me be happy in the [?] of doing right. Your loving Crete85 Ohio St. Cleveland Ohio No 16, 1857 C & M. R. R. Depot. Monday, morn 51/2AM Crete Dear- In my hurry last evening, I left one of my gloves in our room. I discovered its loss before I had been long way but I had not time to go back. Will you enclose it in a newspaper-and send it to me by mail. I was very much aggravated to make so short a call, but I could do no other way- I am not to speak in Cleveland any more at present-but I will try to visit you sometime in vacation if possible. Give my love to Mary -and believe me Your loving JamesCleveland Ohio Hiram Nov 16th 1857 Crete Dearest, Would you like to know a word about your runaway boys? Just as we were about to go up to your Boarding House I found an opportunity to ride to Newburgh and thought I had best do so I embarked leaving Harry to see you and come on to N- in the evening- I did not see him again till this morning I found him at the Newburgh Station awaiting the cars. He had staid over night at Bro Benedicts and had come away to the cars leaving his overshoes hymm book- and the key to his sachel!!! of course he left them- I find here a miserable dreary day- several students straggling in- + I answering a half-save of letters- I write this scratch to tell you that we have "arriv" and Harry has not left more than half his trapping The losses of the morning have given him such a shock that he has rembered to enclose your letter from Bee-Almeda has just arrived - but my glove has not I must desist frm my very interestg letter - Give my to Mary & write to me soon Your own "Lord of All Ages"Almeda has just arrived - but my glove has not I must desist frm my very interestg letter - Give my to Mary & write to me soon Your own "Lord of All Ages"[*Hiram Ohio*] No 16, 1857 Cleveland. Monday morning Dear James: I found your glove this morning, and must confess was just a little glad, not of course that you are minus a glove, but that a little of you was left with us. I did feel disappointed that you should be so near us, and not see you any longer, and really a little vexed when you said that you had stopped at the "Johnson" for tea when you had so little time at most to spend with us, but we will let that pass provided you never do so again. I am sorry you do not speak here any more but you will certainly visit us vacation. Tell Almeda that if it is utterlyimpossible to come this week to send a line telling us when we may expect her. We want very much that she should come this week for we know it will be pleasant for her here, but what our new boarding place may be we cannot tell. It does not promise very much, but we do not know now as we can do any better. There is a little hope, but it is just a little that we may find another place. Pardon me for speaking so freely of our affairs but we so much want Clair Booth to come now. I trust you found everything at the passing satisfactorily on your return. I suppose you know of Harry's intentions for this week. Write soon. Come soon and see your naughty Crete P.S. I delivered the notes you left this morning early C[*Hiram Ohio*] [*[No 22, 1857*] Cleveland, Sunday evening Nov 22 My "Lord," We were truly delighted to learn that you were not swallowed up in the midnight darkness in which we left you, as you gave us some reason to surmise by your premature departure, and that you were at at last safely deposited notwithstanding your divers misfortunes by the way. I think Harry should be labelled the "unfortunate man". Has he in possession a penknife for whom he knows no owner? I placed mine in his hand at the depot to pear a peach, and have not seen it since that I reccollect. I am truly thankful that my letter was remembered so soon, and when Mary gets in [*148*]The spirit of answering letters he may expect a reply to his nice little [lot] note accompanying it. You are now pretty well started in your school I presume, and have something of an idea of your winter's labour. I hope the prospect is promising you an occasional hour of rest. The cold cheerlessness of winter again held sway, already the earth is wrapped in her snowy mantle, and everything looks winter; but into our little home we have gathered so much of comforting cheerfulness that we do not feel much of the loneliness and desolation - of the season. Perhaps it makes us desire a little more earnestly the society oof our loved ones. This evening we have heard Pres. Hitchcock deliver a sermon before the "Christian Association. It was the best discourse I have listened to for a long time. His style of delivery I do not think particularly agreeable but his thoughts were so noble and true. Tomorrow evening Mr. Shillaber lectures before the Library Association. We are anticipating a rare treat. Four weeks more finish our term. I think I shall persuade Mary to go home with me and spend Christmas. If so remember that we shall expect a meeting of our circle at my home Christmas evening. Harvey has voluntarily withdrawn from us, still we shall be very happy to meet him with his lady if you chose to invite him, I want to hear very much how and what you are all doing, and will you not bear in mind that the "Lord of all ages" is not with us now, and that in letters is the only substitute whichcan be received.X [* X But can you not come and visit us again before this term closes!*] Love to Harry and Alameda. Tell A-- we want to hear from her very much. Mary returns that unexpressed something which you sent her. No gloves yet! Perhaps a mitten might suit you better these freezing times. So much more from your Crete.[*Cleveland Ohio*] Hiram Dec 16th 1857 Crete Dear, Be not angered against thy servant -" for he is weary - and well nigh sick with work. I am very busy just now writing a lecture to be delivered one week from tonight at Ravenna - Subject Walter Scott. I want to know the day you are to leave Cleveland to come home - I must go there before many days and if it be a possibility I went to go before you return - or so as to come home with you . I would like to [*85*]be there also- so as to hear Forest - Do you know when he leaves? Our school is going on very well- 175 studets Joseph + Nellie are both doing finely. Your Nell is just as sweet as she can well be and not exhale - Bless her little cross eyes- I saw your Father + Mother to night at Prof Gatchells lecture -who- by the way is doing fine things here in that way. I have some most provoking things to tell you of Wilber when I see you - He has transcended all he did in Cleveland by a great ways- I would write more but it is only an aggravation to write when one cant say anything but a scratch Give my love to Mary and write to me soon Yours as ever James Almeda has been quite sick J.A.G.[*Dec 19/1857 Ohio*] Cleveland. Saturday morning. Dear James, [*A Garfield Hiram Ohio*] I am sorry you still continue your work of self destruction. I thought you promised to do better this winter. Your life may be made of too great value to be thus wasted. We now expect to go home Thursday afternoon, and shall be extremely well pleased to have your company. Forrest makes his last appearance next Monday evening in Hamlet. This evening would have been his last [evening], but illness prevents, and he does not play again until Monday. I am going with a family with whom are of our teachers boards. How I wish you could be here to go too. We heard Chapin Tuesday evening. Never heard him equalled except by [*149*]Beecher and Everett. His style is bold, and figurative, abounding in humor. But it seems to me his wit has not quite the acuteness of Beecher's. Wilber made strange revelations of himself while in Ohio. He has fallen so low in my estimation that I cannot bear to think of him at all. I hoped he would never write to me again, but last week I received one of his strange epistles. That will be the last if an answer is necessary to another. I have a great many things to say to you when at home until then adieu, In haste Your Crete. [*Lucretia R. Garfield*] THEATRE. __________ FOURTH NIGHT OF MR. EDWIN FORREST!! Who is engaged for a limited period. Performance to commence 1-4 past 7 precisely. Saturday Evening, Dec. 12th, 1857, Will be acted the great Indian play, entitled METAMORA! Or, The Last of the Wampanoags. METAMORA, - - MR. FORREST Lord Fitzarnold ... Mr. Douglas Mordaunt ... Mr. Graham Mr Arthur Vaughan ... Mr. Rossiter Errington ... Mr. Ellsler Walter ... Mr. Fenne Capt Church ... Mr. F. A. Vincent Wolfe ... Mr. Richmond Tramp ... Mr. Fay Goodanough ... Mr. L. J. Vincent Officer ... Mr. King Kawashice ... Mr. Smith Otah ... Mr. Mortimer Osawanda ... Mr. Kelly Nahmeokee, (her second appearance,) .. Miss A. Wilson Oceana ... Mrs. Ellsler Nahmeokee's Child ... Master Ellsler Soldiers, Indians, Peasants, &c , &c. To conclude with the Farce, called THAT BLESSED BABY John Thomas ... Mr. F. A. Vincent Mr. Finiken ... Mr. Richmond Mary Jane ... Mrs. Ellsler Mrs. Lever ... Miss L. Maddern Flora ... Miss M. Maddern Monday, 5th Night of MR. EDWIN FORREST. Review Print. Hiram Jan 8th 1858 Crete Dear- A letter from Jonie last night - (written Sunday) tells us that she is still alive- and it is barely possible she may live- He tells me to come immediately - for he says she is constantly asking for me I shall go to Cleveland this evening and Telegraph again + then act accordingly- If I should not go to Marie I will be with you this evening- Love to Mary and In haste your James[Ju 17, 1858] Cleveland. June 17, 1857 Dear James Sunday afternoon - damp dark and chilly. You are not very far away - I Suppose: not near enough however to give any light to our little home so I sit down her as near the window as I can get and scribble away to you fancying that you will be immensely pleased with such attention. We have just returned from the dedication of the [Stand?] Church which is now refitted for worship The new organ- one of the largest in the city - rolled out its deep volumes of music completely deluging and overwhelming us. Then a little man arose and read very rapidly an essay going through with a certain set of gestures again and again without any regard to their adaptation 127...to the thought he was expressing, and this little man with a voice scarcely audible in the distant parts of the church is to be installed assistant pastor over the [??] church and large organ. Thus the way of the world. Small men in large churches and large men in small ones. I do wish you could hear our Mr. Pols?. I grow more and more in love with him every time I see him. He is so noble so great, and there is so much soul in every word he utters and in his very tones of voice. Nothing he says or does betrays the least puerility??, still his strength is not granite it is rather like the sight of deep waters in the ceaseless grandeur of motion.--Friday morning we heard H. Greely. What a strange combination of oddities. His theme was "Poets and Poetry". Every sentence held a thought, and they were thrown out or rather jolted off so rapidly, that I failed to grasp the all. Indeed his strange almost ludicrous style of delivery diverted me attention from a good many. He recited extracts from several poems in such a rediculous style that had it not been for his reputed greatness I am sure he would have been hissed from the floor.--You will surely be here a week from next friday night won't you? It gives to the home new life when I know that they are bringing you. It is a real pleasure to sit down beside you and hear you talk feeling that I am in any sense your Crete[?], and I do love to have you come very often. Me ville[?] made arrangement to visit one of the synagogues Saturday morning if you wish, or will adopt any other plan you may suggest. Mr Sertes came and played there with me last evening. He beat me twice and next time I beat. Mary played one game with him and was the victor. Love to Alexander and Harry. tell them we want to hear from them very much. More you must not read the next page until you have read and criticized the article you left here on Public Examinations. I have never had any real feelings upon any subject more entirely expressed than is that which each year I detest more and more that spirit which has arisen among a certain class of woman to push themselves out before the Public, and it seems to me that public examinations or any kind of public exercises tend rather to foster that spirit than to correct it: and for my part I would rather never again see a lady appear in the public exercises of a school She may acquit herself honorably and receive a great deal of adulation; but ask her if she really feels herself elevated in the scale of true womanhood, and I doubt whether you will fine a case when if she give the real feeling of her heart.-she will tell you that she does. I f there are any acts of my life I would recall it would be those in which I was led to participate in such exercises. A thousand reasons may be addressed in favor of it but they cannot change that secret feeling of the heart. which will protect against it. I might write a great deal more, but it would be only a repetition of the writer's thoughts. After reading it you will send me your opinion of it will you not! Mary sends "some of her best love" and says tell you that she influenced our family her to read the article you left by telling them that you were a minister. Tell Harry he has company now in this ministerial reputation. Your Crete. [*Come & take dinner with us when in C- Harry & Miss Barth why do you not write us. M-[*Cleveland Ohio*] [*58/*] Hiram. Jan 20th Dear Crete & Mary. The views expressed in the article of the Philadelphia Minister- I have just read I judge the writer to be a minister to the general style of thought and tone of sentiment - One quality I observe- which is quite a rare one - he sticks to this point - and will let nothing swerve him from it. He very prettily disposes of some unladylike expressions which seemed to have escaped from the pen of the venerable Emma - So much for the style - With the exception of a few fogyisms - I must say I convinced the thoughts of the writer most heartily. I have a long time felt the same way in reference to the public exhibition of ladies though there must of course be a limit of the application of these views. I think the writer very fully proves the masculine character of Mrs. Willards mind and sentiments - and that - you know I cant endure - Now I will send your fourth page. Yours Truly J. A. Garfield [*87*]Crete Dear I am just now in the midst of a course of lectures in American History - and can only drop you a line now. I hope to be with you one week from next Saturday evening - Friday I mean - Glad to hear from you and your success with Mr Serles - How does your Oviatt affair come out? I am quite anxious to know - Our school is going on in the usual way - only Norman is becoming more stupid than ever. Harry - dear boy - is quite unwell with a bad ear - He says he will write to "the girls" when he gets in a condition to do so - We are all well with the above exceptions - I attended an Oddfellow funeral last Tuesday in Bedford - Great crowd - Your folds are all well - Nelly Bly is as nice as ever - Love to Mary and do write again to your James[*Hiram Ohio*] Hiram Feb 13th 1858 Midnight Crete Dearest. Before retiring I will write a word to you - since I could not see you as I had expected to do - The meeting here was in mid swing and I felt that it would not do to leave it - So Bro. Dunshee has gone to fill my appointment in Newburgh. This evening a spoke the 27th discourse of the series. Seven came forward and our Darling little Nellie was among the number. Bless her dear little soul. This evenings accession being counted there will be 28 additions - 25 by immersion. We spoken day and evening for about ten days and done all our work in [*90*]the school. We shall close the meeting tomorrow evening - You may be sure we are somewhat worked down withal - I tried to have Almeda go out to hear King and Prentis but she thought she could not leave her classes. I am anxious to hear from you and get a report from their lectures. The Herald said but a word about King's - I thought it must have been something of a failure - I shall hope to see you in vacation - when I shall not be so sleepy as now - Love to Mary and forgive this scratch - Your loving & ugly James. P.S. Harry's health is so poor that we fear he will have to euth buching - Dear Boy - JAGCleveland. Feb.18. [1858] [*Hiram Ohio*] James Dearest. I did not receive your letter until to day - will answer now though I presume you will not receive it at present the mails are so slow. I was very glad to hear from you and learn the sweet tidings your letter bore to me. Nellie is not a thoughtless child, and I should have felt sorry had the meeting passed without influencing her to become a christian still I almost feared it would. I received a letter from her yesterday written the first of last week. She spoke of the meeting and its results, but [*129*] [*I want very much that you should spend one Sunday here, and hear some of the Clergymen of the city. you will make arrangement to do so will you? Crete.*]as unconcernedly as though it were something which could in no way effect her. - no proof. true, that she felt so still I did not know how it might be. You must be entirely worn down with your labors. I hope you have no design for vacation only to rest. I wish you could spend much of it here. If we had a home to which to invite you I should argue it strongly - as it is I shall hope you will spend all your the time you can here. I am glad your meeting has resulted in so much good. I trust you are all strengthened in faith and hope. Surely the good done to others in showing then the way of life, and influencing them to walk in it must bring sweet satisfaction to the spirit, and does it not lift the soul to that enjoyment which the true character alone can feel! I have heard Mr. Bittinger - "the logical man"- this evening. His subject -"the office of the Holy Spirit". It seemed to me he was strongly unjustified, and I listened very closely too so as to be sure and understand him. Some of his remarks seemed plain enough - others - taking them in their literal sense- wold I should think drive every anxious sinner to despair, and very conducive to the most perfect unconcern. I feel at home with the different churches as christians, still I do not feel I have my church home, and I do not feel the interest with them that I wish I did. King's lecture we liked far better than Prentice'. There was some repetition of thought still the thoughts were all fine, and his style pleasing. His theme "The Loss of Disorder." was considered by illustrations merely which gave it a somewhat statistical appearance. still their order and grouping gave evidence of thought and skill, and the lecture was pronounced fine by all whom I have heard speak of it. I must confess myself disappointed in Prentice. There was nothing in his personal appearance certainly to suggest the idea of a Poet, and little in his lecture - Political subjects perhaps are not generally very practical - There were occasional flashes of [success] wit. still it was not what I was expecting. We did very much wish Miss Booth would come but not much did we expect her. I am afraid Harry's ear trouble will prove something serious. Has he consulted any one concerning it yet? He ought to certainly. - May we expect you one week from today the 28th - ! I shall certainly and if you do not come, think you are not very good. Your Crete.[*Feby / 58?*] Crete - For unavoidable reasons our Teachers' meeting held till after 9 o'clock - I did not intend to let the time of the appointment pass by so. I shall come soon Yours In Haste James [*89*][*90 Hurst Street Cleveland*] Hiram. March 30th 1858. Crete Dearest I have tried to write to you for the last two weeks and have emphatically "been let hitherto." "Let" in the New Testament sense. The work of this term is far above anything I could have hoped Our highest number for the spring terms since the school began is 100. Last spring we have 140, but now we have 212 and the [???] is Still they come. So you see that nearly 70 are sprung upon us by surprise. I am teaching more classes than usual - and my time therefore is all tore to tatters. or better it is all swallowed in a lump. I very deserved andexpected to write to you upon the great question - but it has been so long delayed by the necessary work of the term that I will wait till I see you. I am now delivering a course of lectures - but next Monday, Mr. Spencer will be here, and so I shall be free for two weeks for [??] healing [??] So we will have more time to visit - Almeda is well but working very hard and almost worn out. I am glad to hear of your Ohio victory over your drawing teacher. Cant you find some stronger champion there in town? I will not forget to buy a board for I want some new exercise on two boards at a time to see how it will go. Jim will have Mary come with you part of the way & I hope. I must close - Harry sends love - and a note - I hope you can read that and this Love to Mary & always your own James. [* [Ap 25, 1858] *] [*1858*] Cleveland, Sunday Apr. 25. James Dearest, I did very much wish to receive a letter from you last night, but did not very much expect it; for I know how full of busy care are all your hours. I do not need the inducement of an unanswered letter before me however to day to make me write, for I am alone and my thoughts will not stay with me, but go away to those I love better. Care has at least one virtue - that of giving swift wing to the moments - and to be so free from it as I am now makes some of these hours that would do better if she can be obtained. How soon will you know position of whether you remain in Hiram or not! Love to Ahmede and Harry. Your Crete. [*133*]I am alone seem very long. I am proceeding with my work quite to my satisfaction. Yesterday morning I carried back a piece to my teacher entirely finished which she expected I would only have sketched I fancied she was a little astonished and I am sure I was when she asked me which was hers. I shall be ready to go to Lizzie three weeks from yesterday I think. Can you not come here before I go? I want very much to see you, and talk of our plans for the future. I want too that you should sit down beside me and tell me how you feel now - whether or not our decision for the future makes you any more unhappy. You will talk to me freely of all these things will you not? I expect James you will see sad dark hours yet. Indeed perhaps it would not be possible that you should not. But do not fear to tell me of them ; at leasst do not hide them from me through a fear that they might awaken in my bosom some dark suspicion. Why James I would not love a man so tame that he had never a wrong feeling to subdue. We cannot hope for a future all unclouded but with the right ever before us as it has been in this one first decision, and with our trust in God to guide us I believe we shall find more of joy than sorrow awaiting us. I will use every power God has given me to become the true wife, and if I see you happy in your house and the deep love your wife will give you, I shall have all of happiness my heart could ask. You will come if you can and see me; but if it is not possible write to me very fully will you and of all your designs! -- Mr. Freese has finally resigned. Some fuss was made about his salary and he resigned thinking - so every one says very quietly - that he would frighten them out of the idea of lowering his salary, and that they would of course re-elect him. But there is quite a probability that this opportunity will be improved for changing superintendents. Should this be the case he will doubtless feel some what chagrined. I see Mary every day. School affairs are in such a state that if it were best to invite her to go to Hiram I think perhaps she would go. Almeda thinks however that it might not be well to do so, and I presume her reasons are good. I think perhaps Meg Roff[*124 Blivan Cleveland Ohio*] [*[My 3, 1858*] May 3rd 58 Newburgh Monday Dear Crete - I forgot an errand that your Father sent by me - He wanted me to pay you $3.50 & I entirely forgot it while I was with you - I am now just leaving for Hiram to have just thought of it. I cannot making this change and so I enclose you $4.00-. I had a fine time in this place yesterday Hoping to hear from you soon I am in great haste your own James - [*96*]{My 9, 1858} Cleveland, May 9. James Dearest: Sunday morning brings me a little leisure again and I will give its first brightest hour to you. Were you only here we would together devote it to a stroll upon the lake shore. Never have I known hours of such deep tranquility as those which were gathered into the few weeks a year ago when my home was so near the lake, and the memory of them always brings to my spirit the same feeling of rest. How I would love a home - not on the "rolling deep" exactly - but very very near to it - so near that its lightest 131motion might never be last nor its faintest missive fail to be heard. I am so busy now that I scarcely think of anything but my work. The more I do the more I find that ought to be done and I want to accomplish so much in so little time that I am really getting into quite a frenzy over it. Sometime I fancy myself doing very well and learning a great deal - then I grow disgusted with myself and everything I have done and feel almost angry with myself because I do not know a great deal more and do a great deal better.------ I received your kind monday morning with the money. The milkman who bought it was rather urgent that ^cousin Mary should take milk of him and she is laboring under a good deal of anxiety to know whether there were any inducements of that kind held out to him to bring the letter. If so she will feel obligated to change milkmen for the honor of the family.-- Almeda did not come yestreday so I presume your colloquy is all written and you will have nothing to do next Saturday but come out to [?] Remember I am staying until monday on the strength of the promise that you will surely come and I don't think I shall feel sat- isfied unless you both come Isent a line to Almeda advising her to come friday night if possible and you will come at the same time of course Mary was so disappointed that she did not see you when you were here and Mr Seales is anxious to know if you cannot spend Saturday night here and Miss Hapley feels that she holds a chain on a little of your time too, so I do not see how you can avoid making your stay a little longer than you last to say the least of it I shant write any more I did not mean to write as much as I have good by until you write or come Your CreteLizzie's Home May 18.58 [*Bryan ohio*] My Dear James- In Lizzie's cozy sitting room on the lounge by the south window. I reached Bryan about 1 o'clock last night - found Mr. Pratt waiting for me and in another half hour was sitting down right here in my Lizzie's home. Today I have been very busy getting my things regulated - looking around to see what kind of place I had found, and seeing some of the people. It looks very new here still I think it is pleasant at least it seems pleasant I enjoy [*150*] [*engagements for the fall. She is going East this summer and will return about the time your term will commence. Let me know if you write to her and I will write also. Write to me very soon I shall get impatient if I wait long. Those boys and girls at Hiram have no right to claim all your attention. and I shall complain if you allow them to do so. Love to Harry and tell him I hope to see him again sometime. Tell him to write to me and Almeda the same. Your Crete*]so much being with Lizzie I shall not meet my class before Thursday as it takes a little time for them to find out that I am really here The prospect is that I shall have quite a large class and possibly I shall decide to remain only for this class I know I ought not if we commence housekeeping this fall for there is so much to be done before that would be possible; and if I do not go home mother will do it for me. Then again I do not think it will be very pleasant to go home after the term commences and have all the fixing and fussing and getting married to do with so many around in the way I have almost a mind to propose to you that you do not come here until I am ready to go home and that we be married "marry" I [?] before going I dislike so much the parade of a large wedding party and we could not possibly at home inside in only a few friends Tell me what you think of this plan. If it does not please you I am not very particular about the course we will take. The greatest objection I would have to it would be that I should not see you so soon. Mother thought perhaps it would be better for you not to build this summer: but I do not know of any house that we would like to rent. I suppose there wouldbe none except the Institution buildings that could be seated, and it would cost more than they are worth to prepare me for a respectable home, and then it would not be convenient. If you could build I think it would be far more pleasant. Then we could make our little home just what we would like to have it as soon as you can you ought to decide what you will do for something else. You asked the question the other night if Miss Hapley could not be engaged to teach music at Hiram. I did not think much about it then but we were talking to Miss Booth about it and it began to been a very sensible idea. She could teach music and painting both and that would be a good reason for engaging her rather than either of the others you have had. I know she would prove a superior teacher in both and would give a higher tone to those accomplish- ments at Hiram. If you have any idea of trying to secure her you must write immediately or she will have made her[*Bryan Ohio*] Hiram. May 30. [*58*] Midnight Dearest Crete - Today I returned from the State Convention of Churches at Massillon - and I have been at work till this moment - arranging one Commencement Programme for tomorrow's mail - Your letter was duly received I was glad to hear of your safe arrival. Your folks here are all well and I will only try to write a few items of news &c - We have issued a call for a Convention here to see if any thing can be done for the Eclectic - I fear much and hope little - See enclosed circular. I have been to Massillon to size it up - Much of our future are vanguent is still in doubt - Tomorrow [*92*]I open a correspondence with Mary Raff though not sure that she will be here. I am also going to open a Correspondence with Miss Hoxley and wish you to write to her. We reject Miss Fennis application in tot - and hold Miss Mortons Conditoid We shall get Miss Hopley if we can - Commencement preparations are crowding in rapidly. I am in trouble about a house for us. I am hardly able to build as I would like to - and I don't know as I convent here on the hill. It will not do to you off the hill - Your father suggest that I travel west and locate some land in vacation - I have not yet found room for a thought beyond the work of the school - I shall come round to it soon - I expect I shall be oblige to go home with Louisa as soon as the term closes on early in the following week - I don't want much parade about our marriage Arrange that as you think best - I will try to write more fully by and by - Everests Sister died last week - Give my love to Mr & Mrs Pratt and write to me soon - and better them I write tonight - Your own James.[1858] I was very glad to receive your letter a day as ?? since, but sorry that midnight alone could afford you the leisure to write it. It is not right that you are obliged to work so immoderately and I shall not allow it after this term mind you. Hary White writes me that she has decided to return to Hiram this Fall. she says to not tell anyone as she wishes to take you all by surprise. But considering the plans you were proposing for her I thought a home with us. She has been accustomed to more attention than people there [??] of giving their boarders and I should feel sorry to have her go to any place where she would not be understood or not feel contented herself. and if Almede??wish a home with us as I hope she will we will need more room than for ourselves alone. I have no idea of opening a boarding establishment. still I would like to have a few of the choice ones with us. A nice little place for your mother will be provided for of course whetere arrangement we make. I will not write about it anymore. Do whatever you think best and we will talk about it when you come. If you receive this in time, and have time to write I shall love another letter before you comes Your Adoring Crete best to tell you , You must ignore any knowledge of it at present however. If you should think best to offer her a class or two when there I think she would accept them I am glad you have decided to obtain Miss Hapley if you can. Perhaps I was a little selfish in wishing her to go to H. but I do desire very much to study with her a while longer, and I see no reason why it will not be better for her to go there and have a permanent situation than to remain in Cleveland. I will write to her immediately. It seemed to me none best to remain for a class at Defiance and I am gladwith him - he is so kind and good and altogether more social than one would suppose. I am enjoying myself so entirely here. I have one class between eight and nine A.M. and the other from four to six in the afternoon . All the rest of the time Lizzie and I spend in just whatever way pleases us best. and we wish you to make a good long visit. You will want to spend some time visiting your friends and among us all we hope to keep you a good while. It has seemed to me that it might not be best for you to think of building this summer if you can only find a home to rent. But if you go west and locate land could you build another season even should you wish to? I suppose it doubtful whether you remain long at Hiram but if you should it seems as though it would be best to build just as soon as you are able. I trust to your judgement to decide what is best however. If Miss Hapley should go to Hiram I should rather wish that she haveBryan June 8 {1858} Dear James: The more I think about it the more I am convinced that you will not be able to find a house that we will want to rent, and if you will be satisfied I will consent to board for a while. I do not think it would be as pleasant as to have a home of our own if we could get such a house as we would like but since we can not I believe we enjoy boarding better. If you could rent 152Mrs. Northrop's chambers or their equivalent with some other family we could furnish there and have room for ourselves and a room to entertain company. I thought of her rooms because there would be just about room enough. There are three rooms in the chamber I believe. Under present circumstances it seems to me perhaps better to do so as it will save you a great deal of trouble in finding a house and both of us the vexation of having one that did not suit us. I hope this may reach you before you make a definite arrangement though I am afraid it will not I am so late in this conclusion. Your commencement will have passed before this reaches you I presume but I am hoping a fine time for you I shall expect you early next week. In haste your Crete.[*Je 20;1858*] [*58*] Cleveland Sunday Morn June 20th [*Solon Ohio*] Darling Jamie: How I wish you were with me this glad lovely morning. The air is so fresh and pure! and the lake so very beautiful toying with the golden sunlight and the soft cloud shadows that fall so lovingly upon its gentle bosom! While the sweet music of its ceaseless song fills my ear with delight, and my spirit with the joyous freedom of life and hope. Dearest why do you not come to me? Why can you not be with me now to clasp me to your heard, and let the voice and the joyous beating of great nature's pulse thrill our hearts with the deepest harmonies of love till their every throbbing be in unison? O it would be sweet to die there for the spirit would be plumed for a heavenly flight 134and sweet to live for earth would be a heaven then. And will not that this be ours sometime sometime in the great eternity before us! O I think it will. I cannot but believe it; for it is when our thoughts and aspirations are highest that I feel drawn nearest to you. Perchance it may not be until death has relieved us from all the false appearances of earth. May be the dying hour will reveal it; but at such an hour as this when the blue heaven smiles so happily, and all the cloud-land is turned to silver brightness; my heart asks almost hopefully can not that joy be ours even in this life so that all those dear relations of wedded love - which once gilded all our visions of the future - maybe sanctified by it. My heart lives and respond, but silently I turn my eyes to the smiling heaven, and it does not mock me, nor do the clouds even lose sight of their silvery light, while the soft breath of sunrise lovingly caresses any how and to my spirit gently whispers "peace, peace". True it is what the "Baron" says to "Tolemming" the eve of their parting - that "there certainly are seasons when Nature seems not to sympathize with her beloved children". when "she sits so eternally calm and self-ponened - so very motherly and serene, and cares so little whether the heart of her child breaks or not" yet there are other times when she is so gentle so loving, and to the aching heart speaks so tenderly, and hopefully, that the spirit cannot but be glad, and trust how sweet promises, and may we not trust them? for is it and through her voice God speaks to us? - I am staying at home to day. I cannot bear to break the little spell of happiness which nowholds my spirit by shutting myself in from the sunlight with the crowd among which I should find not one whom I could have as a heart friend. More truly do I believe myself worshipping God in this communion with notrse, and with one whom my heart can claim at least as a kindred spirit. could I listen to your words of deep soul thrilling earnestness more complete would be my happiness now. It always makes me better to listen to you. My spirit is lifted into a purer atmosphere and into nearer communion with the Great Father of spirits. All my sinful selfishness stands rebonded before your words of earnest truth and I feel a stronger purpose to become more truly noble - more worthy - the love of your heart, and that approbation of our Heavenly Parent. - James dearest I have written this letter because it was a pleasure for me to do so, my heart asked for the privilege, and I treated it would come you no unpleasant feeling. [for me to do so] I claim nothing in return - for it that your heart does not as gladly give. I have written one letter before since you were here, and hope for an answer to that very soon, And will you not spend part at least of this week here? May I not expect you as soon as Wednesday or Thursday? Good bye till you come. Don't wear those new boots. for I don't want to suffer such terrible compunctions of conscience again for making you could so far. Love Crete. [*[Je 27, 1858]*] [*1858*] Bryan, Sunday June 28. My dear Jimmie: I fear it will be my painful necessity to persecute you with a real old fashioned love letter; for since you left me I have done nothing but think of you and wish you back again not because I care anything for you of course but simply that this terribly warm weather has bereft me of all power to break away from the train of thought your premature departure left me in. I can't quite grow reconciled to your running off just as I was ready [*world of social thought and feeling. Your loving Crete.*] [*135*]to sit down and enjoy a quiet little visit. Why I had a dozen nice little [?] reserved for it and left here to enjoy them alone they are not worth a fig. Really I am begining to think man to slippery a fish to build many hopes on, and if the one I claim did not belong to the genus whale I should expect he would slip out of sight entirely; as it is I have a hope that his dimensions will keep him in view, even when proximity is not to be spoken of. So after all I don't know but I am really one of the fortunate few who can be congratulated, and I will try and imagine my complainings all unreasonable. But honestly now don't you love to come and stay with me! I hope you do; for if you do not terrible will be the life marriage will bring to us both. You may think it very [immeasurable?] that such a trifling occurrence as your going away a few hours before I was expecting it should lead to such a query; and I know it is, but do not blame me to much. There are some wounds which the cruel thrusts of Destiny bury so deep in our hearts that the slightest irritation causes them to bleed afresh; but so long as your gentle noble assurances of love are given as a healing balm, I shall secretly harbor no thought which might be unjust. Bravely will I humble mypride to a full confession of each and every one however unreasonable it may appear when the cause for it is understood. I know that God has led us to our present position and I know that if we trust him doing meanwhile as nearly right as we can that he will give us light to guide us on to true and lasting peace. I do not look forward to our wedded life with half the doubtings that I feared I might, and I have no desire to put it farther away than necessary. So my dear chance will you not write me as frank a letter as this? Tell me when you are coming back. Lizzie is hoping it will be before I go to Defiance for Mr. Pratt's sake. She says she has not seen him enjoy the society of any gentleman so much for months There are no gentleman here that he associates with except in business and she says it did him so much good to have such a genial body come along to call him from his office and business out into theMonday Morning: Last evening I thought out a design for our house when we are ready to build I haven't it fully perfected yet or I would send it to you; but I will have it drawn out before you return. I scarcely know what your idea of a house would be, but as far as I do know. I think I have introduced into any design all the features if bearly so essential to your eye also all the conveniencies which I should not know how to dispense with. When you have nothing to do some day will you not draw a plan too? then we will compare them, and perhaps out of the two we will get one to suit us both. Do you not love to lay little plans and build up prospects for our future? I do. your Crete [*136*][*Bryan Ohio*] [*Ind*] Indianapolis, June 29th/58 Crete Dearest, Your expected letter has just reached me - Of all the hot days and hours I have seen the hottest is this very time In the shade the thermometer stands at 94° to 100°. During the last three days 15 men have died in the stricts of the sun stroke - I had to lay over Sunday in La Fayette - and so did not reach here till yesterday afternoon - I see I am recording my travels wrong end first - but no matter - the record is about as regular as the travels. I reached Unity before 10 A.M. on Wed. and [?] started out on a trip my cousin had laid out for me, and was gone till Evening - Several letters were then answered, [ind?] - I shall hope to see your draft when I come. I can't draw anything. I am making several discoveries for our school. I'll tell you. As ever your loving James. [*93*]Early the next morning we four - (Cousin & wife & mother & I) started for Steuben Co. Ind. where we arrived at noon - I went ahead as a traveller & stranger and my old aunt who had not seen me for 20 years knew me by my father's looks. I had this Aunt & three cousins to visit and I had intended to stay there with Mother over Sunday but when I had been there about an hour I felt as though I wanted to go on. So on Friday Evening I went with Cousin to Bryan where we arrived at 11 o clock, I passed in sight of your window but I saw no light. I wondered if you were not dreaming of me just then. A little past 12 and I was on the cars for Toledo. Arrived at 3 1/2 I got two hours sleep and at noon started west - as I have already told you - I have travelled nearly 400 miles since I left Bryan & you - You ask me if I love to stay wtih you - & if so why I left so soon. The reason I left so soon was that I had aggreed with my cousin to be there that morning - though mother did not know it - But the first part of the question is of far more consequence - and I will be frank. I do love to be with you - but there is a restless & unsatisfied feeling about a good deal of the time & I can't tell what its cause is. When I got among my friends in Indiana - I wanted to go on When I stopped at La Fayette I was anxious for the whistle to call me on to the Capitol. Now, though I expected to spend several days here yet I hurrying my business throughso as to start early tomorrow - And I know it will be just so of my next stopping place - When I am sitting I long to be walking - and when I am walking I long to be sitting. I either stagnate and oust with inactivity or am consumed with excess of action. No spot or position on Earth seems to offer contentment unless it be our home - My hope is in that - and yet I will not conceal the fact that I sometimes fear - and tremble even for that. Such a state of feeling is strangely miserable - and I think will not continue when we have a home and am interest and love centered there. But yet I feel as though I should need to make an effort to feel more equable - and all who love me can aid me by support & forebearance - I thank God that others - most others - have not such a nature as mine. But probably this is the price of what little power I have. I want to know just what time you will be at Defiance. I will come to Bryan if possible before you leave. But I cannot yet tell. Write Immediately to Chicago. & tell me is near as possible - the day when you must leave. I would be glad to see you again. I have one or two fronts to Embody in that Ideal house. One. a prospecting wr[*Hiram Ohio*] [*1858*] Bryan July 4 [*[1858]*] James Dearest: I did not receive your letter until yesterday and perhaps this will not reach Chicago in time for you as I presume you will be in haste to get on to the arms of your beloved Charles. It is cool and pleasant again this morning and after the excessive heat of the past too weeks we can fully appreciate what Willis says of a summer morning "Life seems a luxury such a morn as this." Bryan is such a shadeless place that is has seemed some of these hot days that it would surely ignite. It answered entirely Dickens description - of some city of France - I have forgotten which - where every thing was glaring and when I have had life enough to express [*154*]a wish for anything it has been only for a tree. I have not heard a word from Father since he left Princeton and I begin to feel anxious about him. It has [been?] so warm - I am afraid he is sick or that something has happened to him. A letter form Mother las week tells me that Mrs. Van is dead. She was very much tired out with company at commencement and was attacked with a violet headache. She supposed it was only a nervous headache and that rest was all she needed. But friday morning of the next week she was taken with spasms which continued through the day and saturday she died. It seems as though it were almost more than her mother and husband can bear. The [bu?the] of Mother's letter is that I must come home and I want to go very much, but there are reasons why I think I must stay till September. I shall be ready to go to Defiance about the middle of next week - a week form next wednesday ^July 14^ is the day I am decided upon now. If you are ready to return before that I shall be very glad to see you in Bryan again, but if not I shall be just as glad to meet you at Defiance. I hope now to have Lizzie and Mr. Pratt with me one week at Defiance. Mr. Pratt will be there a week on business anyhow and Lizzie thinks now that she will go with him and so get an extra weeks work with me. Yesterday we had a tremendous celebration her Mr. Guerch from Toledo was present to address the assembled multitudes from the county round about, but just as his speech was [fairly?] commenced as heavy cloud appeared in the west and he soon found himself disclaiming to the brave old woods alone. The most appreciative part of his audience I presume, but he did not deem to think so as he followed the crowd to the court-house and there finished his speech. In the afternoon a fantastic regiment of hideous men women and children appeared in the streets raising an uproar which reminded me of the "Carnival of Venice". This was followed in the evening by a spirited display of fireworks consisting of rockets, fire balls, fire crackers etc. A fair specimen of a western celebration I judge. If you receive this in time write me again. I cannot tell the pleasure I felt to open again another letter from you with a few closely written lines. I am glad you wrote so frankly of yourself. Doubtless we shall both need to exercise some forbearance for in many respects we are entirely opposites but if we center our hopes, joys, and love in our home I believe we shall find the truest happiness earth can give us and I hope I am as it will bring to your spirit peace and contentment. Loving you as ever. Crete.[July 14, 1858] Wednesday morning Dear James: I forgot I was your debtor when I said I would not write to you, but you shall have only a little time now. If you had staid till this morning you could have read with me Nellie's long letter to me; now you shall see only the one she wrote you, and I have read it first too. I cried this morning after you went away I couldn't help it but I soon found it was best that you went for I am to start for Defiance early tomorrow. 143 Thursday morn ?? Pratt says it is not safe to send money by mail here, and I will leave it here for father to take to you. I hope you are not needing it for this is the best I can do since you would not stay to get it. Your Cretemorning and have had to work every moment all day and could not have taken any care if you if you had stayed. Ella writes that they have had two letters from father so I am quite at rest about all the stray ones, and don't think I am very miserable to night, though I do wish you were with me. Give my love to your mother and your cousin's family, and do write to me every week till I go home. Next to yourself a letter from you is my choicest treasure. Don't you think it a little too bad that you cannot give me the kiss that Ella permits Your loving Crete write immediately if that I may [?] receive the money[*Bryan Ohio*] Hiram July 24th 1858. Dear Crete: I arrived in town on Wednesday - and found and armful of documents for me at the Post Office - and - enough other work to satisfy any ordinarily idle man - After I left you I spent my time till the following Monday at my Cousins - I found mother quite unwell - and but for her being nearly sick - we should have gone home on Saturday - But by waiting till Monday I got a little more rest - On Monday we started & Cousin William and his wife went with me to Toledo. At Stryker I enquired [*94*]for the box Mrs Pratt was to send and, I could not find it - Please tell her she may have sent it - and it was miscarried We staid in Toledo over night and, and reached Solon Tuesday Evening. We found our folks well - but sister was in great fear that mother was sick. Wednesday I came to Hiram. of the half dozen things I left in special charge with some of the folks to have done - only about a quarter were touched - I found nearly 40 applications for self boarding that cannot be supplied. Your beloved uncle Charles has shut up his house on the hill - and will not rent it unless he can vent it. Exactly in his own peculiar way - and so I fear it will stand empty - and so students be obliged to go away - I have been working at it half the day - but with doubtful success - All this makes the matter pleasant of course I called at your house yesterday - and Nellie took us into the pantry and treated me to a dish of succatash the last of the season - Nell is growing taller and prettier than ever - She will be a splendid little heart smasher by and by - We shall have all the students we can take (This class has no connection with what followers preceedes - I am very greatly tickled with a story of your Father on hiswestern trip A tearful looking man came on the cars at Chicago and told a pitiful story of being out of money & wanted to go to Cleveland & would pawn a hundred dollar watch if he would lend him $20.00- & he would redeem the watch when they reached Cleveland - He gave the fellow 20 & away went the cars - Of course he never saw his lacrymose friend again Wilcox says the watch is worth $2.00!! Joe is having a rich time over it - What think you of Defiance & the old fort? You must bring home some sketches - When shall you come? [Marinda?] will not be at school next term - & I think you can get a [fri?] close - Let me hear from you soon - Always your James -Dear James, I am not at Defiance as you supposed consequently did not receive your letter until Saturday evening. I went there the morning after you left here but found very soon that I could not at present get much of a class. It was just vacation in their schools and those who would take lessons were either away or going very soon. I remained over the next week however, visiting and passing the time very pleasantly. Several evenings we were out boat riding and knowing how you love the water I always thought of you and wished you were with us. One evening Mr. (?) gave us a final drive out to the old farmer's over the miner 138and in his little canoe we paddled over to an island opposite his house. Our amble over it would have been very pleasant had not the mosquitoes made such a vigorous attack upon us. Defiance has a very fine location. The hills [about] around it seemed like old friends, and the Maumee is really a fine river notwithstanding the hard reputation it has. I made a sketch of the Fort which is pronounced very correct by those who have seen it. Mr. [Setchen?] was there one day while I was and made me a call. He invited me to spend a week with them before going home but I think I shall not be able to do so. There are some here who wish a course of lessons and I have concluded to stay for them. I shall be at home however just as soon as possible. I shall be there certainly in four weeks after the fall term commences, and if I can so arrange it sooner. Then if you wish me to take charge of those wishing to commence a course of lessons at that time I will do so. I have written home that I will be there five weeks from this time and do not tell them that there is any possibility of my coming sooner, as I would rather take them by surprise than have them expect me before I come. If I can I should meet Miss Barth at the Oberlin commencement still I do not much expect to. Almeda sent me a letter last week, and such a letter! I think she must have been in the last stages of the "blues". I am sorry you did not find things in a better state at [Hiram?], and I do not wonder that you get out of patience and feel determined not to stay there. And perhaps it will not be bestfor you to do so. We will try and find out that before the year is through. Mr. Letcher told me he was trying to purchase a house and lot here for you. I hope you have no idea of ever locating here; for I am sure you would have good reason for loving any place better than home if you did. It is so dismally flat, and it is a great wonder to me how Mr. Pratt can endure it after living among the Berkshire hills. Mrs. Pratt went to Defiance friday after you were here and did not get the box ready to send. How are you spending the remainder of your vacation? You will be in school again soon but do take time to send me a line if nothing more very soon wont you? You did not tell me whether you received a line I sent you to West Unity or not I did not send you any money thinking father would call here. If you wish it before I return let me know and it shall be sent. Ever your Crete.[*Bryan Ohio*] Hiram. Aug 12th 1858. Dear Crete. Yours from Bryan is as duly received. I am in the stream where I plunged on the tenth inst. and must sink or swim for the next year. This tenure promises to surpass all former ones since the school began. I give you a comparative list of this term & one year ago - Fall Term 57 Fall Term / 58 1st Day 95 ---- 130 2nd " 126 ---- 202 3rd " 130 ---- 220 How much higher we shall rise I cannot tell, but they are pouring in very fast. Mary White, Portia Sadol & Carrie Bump are here [*95*]I am glad to hear that you are coming home so soon Almeda says there are several she knows of who will take less. in Drawing & Painting if you come - I am glad you have taken the [fur] at Defiance. Be sure and come as soon as you can. Tell me the exact date of your arrival. You must pardon this brief note for I am in perfect whirlpool of work. Let me hear from you again soon. Ever Yours James I'm ashamed of this letter but I can't help it J.A.G. Bryan Aug 15 '58 Dear James: By mistake I presume you sent your last to Defiance?? consequently I did not receive it until last evening. I have little of surface life to write about now--nothing save that I am making all possible haste to go home. If I do not meet Miss Booth at Oberlin I think you may certainly expect me the Saturday morning following. Lizzie is very anxious that I remain until the next Monday morning; but I feel very sure that I shall not do so. I am glad to learn of the prosperity of your school; but fear you are taking on yourselves an amount of work altogether too large.-- 155The return of these last days of summer brings to me many sad hours. My heart is not yet schooled to an ?? submission to that destiny which will make me the wife of one who marries me because a miserable felo demands it. And finaly as I have determined to make the best possible of what life has left for me, and govern every action by the Right yet there are hours when my heart almost breaks?? with the evil?? thought that our marriage is based upon the cold stern word duty, Forgive me for speaking of it, I hope time may teach me to be satisfied with the love you will teach your heart to give, and with passing years may you ?? all repinings?? for the lost visions of ?? days. Hoping to see you soon I am still yours Crete [*[Se 10, 1858]*] [*Sept 14/58*] Hiram. Friday morning James, Mrs. Reed has a little nephew with her troubled with some kind of humor which appears like the salt rheuma Mother thinks that some of the ointment made by Silas Boynton might help him, and if you could obtain a box of it without much trouble and leave it at Uncle John Mason's Monday morning Mrs. Reed will be very much obliged to you. - I hope you are having a pleasant time. Crete. [*156*][No 1858] Nov [1857] [1858] [???]: I don't know how to spell Willie's name will you please write his invitation and hand it to him. Crete. Joe is very anxious that a special invitation he sent to you. Will you please attend a wedding party at Zeb Rudolph's on Thursday evening Nov 11th Lucretia Rudolph, [146] James A. Garfield.[*[No 1858]*] [*Nov [1857]*] James: Father says you can order the furniture He has the promise of part enough money and thinks he can get the rest. You recollect we were to send some farther order for the carpet but I think all that is necessary will be to order 40 yds. It will be enough and we can cut it as well as to send the size of the rooms. Be sure however that the carpet is sent. Crete. [*145*][Hiram Nov. 4th] J. A. Garfield Preset.[Nov 1858] Saturday Morning Dear James: Father is hoping to have some money this morning from Mr. Huniston. If you can possibly come down here some time to day and arrange it with father so that he can send it Monday morning I think you had better do so, as it is necessary to send as soon as possible. In haste your Crete I have not seen Mr. Brown to give him his invitation. If he is going [144]home to day will you please give it to him. C--[Fe 25 1859] Friday evening Feb '59 My Own, Do you know this is the fifth anniversary of our engagement! I first thought of it as we were in the chapel this afternoon and memory has been upon swift wing ever since, and I would not let it pass without sharing with you the sweets it brings. Not that it reveals only pictures of beauty; for there are among them scenes wild and fierce, darkened with gathered clouds and terrible with the heaving billows of our tempest tossed life. But we need not stop with those now. There are fairer scenes-- fair as this beautiful evening--inviting [88]me to retreat among their sunny glades, and with these now we would chose to linger. My thoughts go back to the first hour that we drew near each other and when Heaven drew nearer to us both. God I thank thee for that hour! And has not each year since brought us into a nearer and truer relation? I believe it has. And were you with me to night to clasp me to your heart and breathe out words of love I believe that deeper than ever before would our spirits go down into the mysteries of each other's being. Since our marriage life has been a deep untold joy--over which the shadows flit sometimes but they stay not--and each day I feel all the tendrils of my heart turning more closely around you. Long ago when talking to me of your nature you compared it to the sturdy oak whose very roughness would hold more closely the clinging vine. I loved the comparison and I have never ceased to love it, and each hour that binds me close to you makes me love it better. My own husband draw me still closer to you; bind me to your heart with this that can know no severing.-- The midnight hour draws on and I must away to sleep to dream I hope that a pain of strong arms encircle me. May God bless you, is the prayer of your own little wife. Hudson. Oct. 4th 1859. My Dear Little Wife. After the lapse of more than a year - I sit down once more to write to you. -- One hour and a half has passed since I wrote the above sentence - & I find it exceedingly difficult to prevent the approach of visitors. Every one seems to take it for granted that he has a right to take the time of a candidate There - Esq [Mitchell?] has come - Esq is soon to go to Hiram, & I will write while he is talking. I have had a fine [*96*]time here--both in the speech and in the College. Come to Hudson on Saturday--in time for the 11 o'clock train--and then I will be at the Depot in Akron. Please pardon me for my miserable letter--Bring my letters when you come-- Ever & Forever Your J.A.G.I recv $60 from Clapp. Sent 10 to you. 20 to Almeda. Kept 14.75 which John owed me. 10 which paid on Richards order and 7 in Expense orders not yet torn out from the order book - or rather there amounts were due me - though I kept but 30 - Will promise the rest next week Tell Almeda + John to draw the balance of theirs. J. 11 1/2 o'clock P.M. Columbus Dec 31st 1859. Dear Little Wife. I have just returned from the Senate Caucus to fulfill the promise I made you of writing the the Old Year out. And first I will give you a small account of our trip hither - After a hurried run to the cars. I found Mr Cox on board - together with two members of the Lower House from Mahoning and Trumbull. I stopped a few moments at the Solon Depot - and saw little Mary - and there went on leaving Mother crying - and thinking I would get into some calamitous conditionbefore the winter is over. He concluded to push on to our destination as soon as possible. - and so. after a hurried run among the bookstores [?] of Cleveland we were on bound the train and at 7-40. we on the way - I found eight or ten members on board- and found Frank + [Ocla?] Shatluck who were on their way to their Mothers in Wellington. As soon as the girls got off, the Candidates began to flock around - and I managed to fall asleep as soon as I could to avoid the annoyance. At ten minutes pay one o'clock we reached the City - and at 2 were thawing out a miserable bed in the third story of the Goodale House. The next morning as soon as our 7 o'clock breakfast was over. I started our 0 and found cousin [Ezra?] and found Uncle Thomas. there - The rooms were not quite what we wanted + they had a large number of boarders - and more - I felt if I took Mr Cox there I should be in a measure responsible for the character and conditions of our affairs - and I desired to have him equally responsible. So I resolved not to got to Cousin - and got Uncle Thomas to aid me in excusing the matter off. This a considerable time in making a selection of a home. Finally on Saturday afternoon we settled upon our place - and this evening took our first meal here. We are boarding with Mr. [Buscome?] an officer in the Treasurer's department - and the Chairman of the Central Rep. Committee of the State - It is not a Boarding House but he taked us rather for company - We are at 193 South Third St - only two squares from the State House - Mr Cox & I occupy the same rooms & bed - Our room fronts the East - is lighted with gas - & is in all respects - (Except my rocking chair) pleasant & comfortable The family consists of Mr B. & Wife a son, and two daughters - Gov. [Den?] congratulated us - and we congratulated ourselves on our good fortune in the choice of a home. We have been nearly killed with kindness administered in nauseating doses by the candidates. You know my epistoraly stories in that respect - but5 if that was a river this is a sea. "The oldest inhabitant" has not known so great a scramble for office in the city before. Over 100 candidates and their "friends" are busy button holing every "member" But tonight we have settled the matter & affection & politeness are soon to be at an end with them. Mr. Herrick of Ravenna was defeated in his struggle for the Clerkship and a D. W. Rhodes has the nomination So much for news - - - The return of this night "brings the light of other days around me" & I would fain draw you to my heart and talk of them all. So I opened my trunk - into which I did not look while you were filling it. I found some of little dear reminders of your affection & care. All these are treasured away in my heart. There [?] will 996 always bear with it associations of you. I really did not know, until I left, how dear to me is my little wife & our little home. The past year has been an eventful one for us and full of mercy and I hope the next one may be likewise. I know that for me it will be more so than most of its predicessors - And now as the bells are tolling out the Old Year & ringing in the New, let us sing with Tennyson: "Ring out the old ring in the new Ring out the false ring in the true And let our joyous heart keep time" And now I will go to rest, May God our Father bless you and all our beloved household. Remember me affectionately to all. I hope Mary will stay with you a long time. I shall expect to meet you at the Haddell next Saturday Eve, unless you hear to the contrary before. Bring my dear Pen which was left by mistake - Ever & Forever yours James[1859] Saturday morning My Dear Husband How strangely this address looks, but I love it. We had rather a pleasant time last morning. Quite a number of the old students were here. Burke among the rest. He is going to chagrin and I send this time in the first place because I want to and is the next to [ ] you of Harrings book - left at the hotel. It seemed so lonely after you went away last night. How I wished you would he left. Ahmeda did not go away and is not going to day. Waiting patiently as I can. hotel [ ] I am going [ ] "shall" hate. I hope you are not sick today. Don't work very hard. [ ] I want you be just as smart as you can be. yours 15[*?*] [116] [*JA2-6 1860]*] of the the Legislature has just been passed that the Inauguration of Gov. Dennison should take place at 11 o'clock on Monday Forenoon - next. This will make it impossible for me to reach here in time - and it is necessary for me to be here - So I must give up seeing you next Sunday. I will write you when I will be in Newburgh. I must stop & send this immediately. Affectionately Your James. 114Hiram [*Ohio*], Jan 1,1860] My Darling Husband: It is a cold glittering morning and every little starry snowflake and pearly ice drop is flashing back the glory of this New Year's morning sun. Everything sparkles so that I cannot be sad even though you are so far away; and my thoughts go out in joyous bounding love to you my own- my best beloved. I did not write to you last night: Mary is so feeble that I know it would disturb her very much if I sat up so long and then I did not know as you were really expecting that I would write -you did not ask me to - besides I did not dare to call up my little reminiscences of the last six years 157 [*Sometimes let your heart turn to you little loving with some expression of tenderness. I want you to love me better than all else in the world besides I know you cannot give yourself all up to me but I do want and feel that I must have the dearest places in your heart all for mine. Mother Mary Ellen and [Alfonzo?] and all the rest too send their love to you. We talk about you a great deal and I think about you a great deal more Remember me to your cousin and family. Your little wife Crete*]which might lead away unawares into any of those side passages whose darkness I wish to enter never again. So I indulged in pleasant thoughts and some pictures of your whereabouts and doings last evening; until dreams brought you back again to my arms. You do not know how constantly present you are to all my waking thoughts and sleeping visions-not that I am pining over your absence and wishing you back again. To be sure I had a good child's cry as soon as you were away to lighten my heart of the tears I had been crushing back all day but as soon as that was over my thoughts of you were most - I have to stop and miss you sometimes- all made up of bright hopes and aspirations for you and wishes full of love for your success and happiness and an earnest ever abiding desire that you may be guided by the greatest wisdom. I feel so much anxiety for you that your public career be never marked by the blight of a misdirected step. I want you to be so great and good. So worthy of the highest respect and love of all. So unimpeachable in every relation that your bitterest enemy can find no just cause for accusation. and I want to be the little wife worthy of such a noble husband. Yesterday I had some serious reflections upon my past life which resulted in some new views of myself and some new and better resolutions to help guide me in my future course. I believe my nature has been too much of the receptive order. Instead of diving into the honey cups I have rather lain down among the flowers and waited for them to shake down their sweetness upon my lifeand when for honey they have scattered over me only withered leaves, I have said in my heart that is all life has left for me and have yielded almost to despair. It seems to me I see my error now as I have never seen ti before, and I can see a clearer way to carry out the determination I have so often make to make the most of what is yet left to me in life- And my dear husband will you not help me? I know you will- why do I ask. I know you will give me the encouragement of your sympathy and dependence upon me for happiness if I seek it in a joyous loving trusting spirit.- I can scarcely be patient to hear from you. I want a letter now- this very minute You will write to me often. very often twice eery week certainly! Tell me all about yourself- your success - your impressions of all that interests you, and [*P.S. I wish you could have heard Harry today. He did admirably, altogether surpassed anything I have ever heard from him before. - He gave me the ten dollars you sent back. Thank if it nd [?] you [?] what yo needed to take with yo Cret*][*Ohio*] [*Columbus Ohio*] Hiram, Jan. 8. 1860 My Own Good Husband: How strangely the little circumstances of today may link us with the Past- and some little act- all unpremeditated-bring back the blood to our hearts in the wild and joyous bounding of other days. As I sat down here in our little room this afternoon to write again to you every little circumstance so reminded me of those Sunday afternoons when you were in College, and my poor pen was trying to tell you some of the wild throbbings of my loving hopeful hear, that for a moment I could scarcely realize that I was not living again among those beautiful visions of future bliss - so fairylike because untested. The quiet which the 158 [*the ice which has covered the country ever since you left until today etc. etc: but no more now Your pen I am very sure I put in the middle division of the drawer of your trunk in the front part. I have seen nothing of it here. I am hoping for another letter very so I am finishing this moody evening I stopped before this was done yesterday to read the "Scarlet Letter" and became so much absorbed the I forgot to finish it until it was so late Mary said I must got to bed. Then I know that Almeda ha hers ready and that would be enough for you at once. Your loving, Cret*]sacredness of these Sabbath hours always brings the cold light of the low winter sun - the pen and paper before me with you in my thoughts were all reminders of those far off days. But How little Stand so close beside our bed - the lamp which lights your nocturnal readings (while I [?] ), and dearer to me than all our bed where so many hours you have held me in your arms, all seemed to soon dispel the illusion and tell that those hopes had "changed to glad fruition". My darling [?] I would not exchange those hours for [?]. The pure gold of our wedded life even though soiled and tarnished sometimes by the unpleasant realities of everyday life - is worth far more than all the glittering radiance of diamond crowned visions of the future. I cannot tell you how my heart thanked you for those precious words of tenderness and those your letter contained. I did not receive it until friday night although it was mailed the same day as Harry's which he received Wednesday. I felt a little lost when wednesday night and thursday passed and it did not come; for I had been so sure that you would write the night you promised, but when it did come and explained that the mail store had been at fault I felt more than ever how good and kind you are and how much I have to love you for. And I do love you as none other in the wide wide worl loves you, my own, my heart almost idol. And that night as rested my head upon my lonely pillow yes lonely even though our dear Mary was so near such a comfort and joy to us now it seemed as though I could never sleep until I could be clasped close to your heart again. O, I want to see you so much! I want to see your smile again to be clasped again upon your heart as your own most precious one. Dear me shall I ever get away from this burst and gushing full of feeling to tell you how proud I am of you, and how the warm blood tingles upon my cheek at every mention of your name by admiring lips. Harry says that he found in the Morning Leader a very complimentary notice of your speech of friday - that the impression you made was very fine. You know I never feel any fears for you but I have never sympathized with you as now. It seems to me that I know every feeling you have, and that sometimes - strong as you are - you would love the word whispered in your ear by your little Crete telling how her ambition for you kindles and glows with a hidden fire; and that you would gain new strength from it. My whole being says for you - be noble. be true be the man the world has never yet seen. We are all doing finely here Henry does not fail to bring a little of his super abundant life over to us every day and Mary stays with us yet with all her goodness kindness and love. I have a great many adventures which might be interesting of hair breadth escapes on We shall expect a full account of the Inauguration.Senate Chamber Jan. 10th 1860- My Dear Crete- We are in the midst of an exciting fight on the "Impossible Conflict" but Mr Harrison's Bill No. 1 has just been laid over to the first Monday in February by a vote of 18 to 17. Prof Monroe made a fine speech just now--and now we have taken a recess-- I write for the mail to go out in a few minutes-- to tell you--I think I shall be in Newburgh next Sunday without any mistake. So I shall expect to meet you at the Weddell House Saturday evening. I was [101] made very happy by the receipt of your letter, though it did come one week after it was written. I recount some of my sayings and complaints of you not writing--Please consider them the result of my anxiety to hear from you--rather than a disposition to find fault--I am looking forward with pleasure to the time when you shall be here with me to spend some time. All the utterances of your letter met a warm welcome in my heart--and I want you still to continue to write in that same sweet way. Sunday was a very lonesome day with me here. More so than I have passed for a long time. One week from next Sunday I shall probably pass in Dayton. The brethren have invited me to speak for them then. I presume I shall be too busy with my work here--after we get more fully at work-- to allow of my speaking a great deal--and I feel that I ought to give my duties here--both personal and official my first and chief attention. Tell me in your next particularly about your health and such personal thingsas you know I desire to hear - How do the students act and talk and feel? Do you think they love me. Give me gossip - little things I delight to read - Tell me all Do have Nellie write to me - and right off - I will answer her Bring my political scraps to Cleveland with you - No, on second thought you need not - but remind me of the subject - for I have some requests to make - Almeda (is she dead?) writes not a word to me - Make her do it - & have her come to Cleveland with you - And now good by - and know me now & forever Your James. [*Get the enclosed petitions circulated and signed*]Columbus. Jan. 18th 1860. My Dear Little Wife I am very weary & would be glad if could rest in our own little room tonight. It was a very wearisome ride hither. Indeed I am conceiving a great dislike of riding on the cars--& can hardly get the consent of my mind to travel in that way. I found a good deal of work had been prepared during our little vacation and now we are plunged into the midst of it with a vengeance-- I see from a letter just received from Almeda that the trouble there gets deeper and deeper. I want you to tell me just how it seems to be received by the students. I mean the action of the Teacher's in regard to the boys. I am exceedingly anxious that everything [102]in the school shall pass off happily--for it will injure us all very much if any unfortunate things should occur more than what has already. We have just been holding a long and dull caucus and I am, now at eleven o'clock weary, weary. I have sent several papers home that contain some comments on me. I sent part to [Harry?] part to Almeda & part to you. I would like to have you keep scissoring for my scrap book and for the "Republican Offing" which you do kindly commence to collect--last fall when they began to put me in the papers Will you also take some pains to find out--and let me know whether anything is said about that "beer in the cellar" which has made so much fuss-- and which may make more, before the troubles are over. Tell me also how the Teachers seem to agree in their deliberations-- and oh, tell me all the little dark hints-- the secret intimations--you may have of the coming of that one that shall make us so glad or so sad--I begin to feel a strange indefinable awe in regard to the advent. I cannot describe it. I would know all your own reflections upon it--and every experience. I promise you a longer and better letter next time--but I know you will excuse my aching head and weary hand for this time--Write soon Ever & always Your Husband JamesHiram Sunday morn. Jan 22, '60 My Own Dear Husband: [Columbus Ohio] I have just laid aside the "Seven Gables" from which my thoughts would constantly wander away to you and will let my thoughts and impulses take their own course. It is one of those same mornings which Hawthorne so beautifully describes "when Heaven seems to diffuse itself over the Earth's face in a solemn smile, no less sweet than solemn; and its quiet and beauty are all my own. I am at home alone, Father Mother Ella and Flora are at church and there is not in the whole house a voice or sound to call me away from sweet communings with you. Jamie I sometimes think that I love these hours almost better than those when you are really with me. You are my ideal husband, sitting quietly lovingly confidingly beside me breathing out all the tenderness and unbounded 159affection of your great heart around your little wife and looking down deep into her heart to gather all those dear responses to your love which your ardent nature so much desires. I forget all your restlessness, and longing for the society of others which so often rob me of what I so much desire and of that which I cannot but feel sometimes so really belongs to me. Selfish do you sell this! Yes, my darling, and I am selfish. Just as selfish as any other woman who really loves her husband. But since you are not here to kiss me for being so naughty as to love you so, you shall sit here by me the most perfect picture of contentment, and devotion to my own dear little self while I fill up the rests which are scattered through our song of love with a little matter of fact talk in answer to you many queries. First however I must tell you a little bit of news introduced by a message to you from Mr. Humiston which I think will somewhat amuse you. I was in the store yesterday and Mr. Humiston after inquiring about you asked if I was going to write to you soon. I told him I was. "Well" said he "tell him for me that the Republicans have been paying me off for some of my old tricks." He laughed--looked very red, and seemed quite embarrassed. I remarked that I did not understand him but I presumed you would. O yes, he says, he will know what I mean. On going out I discovered quite a concourse of people on the steps of the Methodist Church and mistrusted the occasion at once. As soon as I reached home I asked father what was going on and found there was an election of a Justice. He said that there was a caucus called a while ago, but it was during the bad weather and all did not hear of it and of those who did only a part came. The Humiston men however were mostly present, and nominated him for candidate, but when the other wing heard of it they resolved to try "splitting tickets" too and called a caucus the evening before election and nominated for their candidate Ozias Allen. At the election Brown (Holland) and Strong were in their usual state of excitement denouncing in the most unqualified terms ticket splitting Strong waxed so hot in his wrath and so loud in his anathemas that the question was asked him if he were a member of any "temperance society." The other party told them it was but the result of their own proceedings last Fall. They were challenging students votes as usual. They challenged Harry Glasier's, and he turned indignantly on his heel with the reply that he should not take an oath there again. The outcome of it all was that the Democratic candidate Clinton Young received the election. - The expulsion of the boys from school has produced far less excitement than was feared. There has been less sympathy expressed for them than in almost any other case of the kind that there has been here, and as far as we can learn the effect upon the school has been good. The teachers seem to be getting along well together. The only thing that does not seem entirely right is something that John does. I don't think he is as respectful to Miss Booth as his position and years demand him to be and she feels it too. We have almost thought from some things lately that he does not bear promotion or praise very modestly. I am a little afraid that the commendation so freely bestowed upon him for his course with Father Rider has made him feel that hecan do almost anything he pleases and merit no reproof. Perhaps I am too sever however.-- The "beer barrel" has become the occasion for some though I think of not very general remark. Charley Northrop was at Mr. Headley's a day or two since and "Ed" said to him you have a barrel of beer in your cellar haven't you. No. Charley says Well Mr. Garfield has? No. Was the prompt reply and he came running home and says "Ma that is medicine Mr. Garfield has in the cellar isn't it"? Mrs. Sprinkle says "they can't blame the boys for drinking beer. Mr. Garfield drinks it himself." That is all I have heard; how much more has been said I don't know. I feel a little sorry that it was ever brought here for people will talk even at the least appearance of an occasion and when they know there is no real occasion, too. I expect Wil Clapp has made all the fuss. He is making a perfect fool of himself; and by the way I wish you were here now to see to him. He is pretending to Harry that he [160]6 finds mistakes clear back from the beginning, and that he must look to the books all over again. I don't know how many of the books he has or what he can do; but I don't believe he is any too good to do any thing he has a chance to. I can think of half a dozen things more to tell you but let them go until you are at home. Draw nearer to me now and let me tell you of that which is becoming so strangely dear to us--of that little life which is making our love so sacred. For a few days past I have been conscious of a responsive beating to my heart at times so faint that it was scarcely perceptible yet I knew it was so. And O my own precious husband how it thrilled through my whole being with such a strange exquisite joy; and how I longed to be held close to your heart that you might feel it too if only through the throbbing of my heart; for it is ours. You have given it to me--this little life-our perfected love. I know well the "strange undefinable awe" of which you speak. It makes my heart almost stand still sometimes, and I am so glad that you share it with me. It seems to me there is no suffering of body or anxiety of heart which will not be a joy if you sympathize and bear it with me. I must stop but O how disappointed I shall be if you are not here on the morning train next Saturday. I shall have a team at the station waiting for you. Most fondly yours Crete. Mother sends love to you. May went home last Thursday. Will you not send a little letter to her in reply to hers? She will prize it so much. [*[1860]*] Columbus, Friday, Feb 3. My Dear Wife. I arrived last night at half past one - I am now in my seat but am very weary and dizzy - I think I must go to my room and go to bed - I think it was a little presumptive to start away so was as I was - but I didn't know how weak I was till I was on the road. A little rest will bring me around right - Don't be worried about me - But I really feel as weak as a child - There are over 3o letters on my desk to be answered [*103*]You will please forgive this inexcusable scrawl for my head pains too much to write a letter. I only do this to let you know I arrived here safely. Chase was elected Senator yesterday afternoon - Sen Gridley's brother is the conductor on the sleeping car I came from on. I will write you tomorrow. I shall be better then. Yours affectionally, James. Pay Van -[*Columbus Ohio*] [*Ohio*] Hiram Friday Feb. 3. 1860 My Own Dear Jamie: You are away again and the nearest thing we have left of you is the sweet recollection of your visit. To me it was indeed very precious, though bounded on one side by tears. You came nearer home to us and was more the husband and true friend than you have ever seemed before. I shall never forget the quiet confidential home like talk of last Saturday evening by "Toodles" fire. To her I presume it was but the return of an hour like many recorded in your past history but to me it was the realization of one of love's brightest dreams. [and] of which I had said long ago they are but the fancied forms which my imagination had wrought out of the floating mists of the future - and the new vigor it gave to hope and love made you O. so dear to me and the [*161*] [*I hope to hear that you are very much better I received a line from Malos last night. Breset say regards to him. Crete*]memory of it will be a precious jewel which my heart will cherish ever. Jamie you do not half know your little wife yet. You don't know how much she desires to be your wife in the truest noblest sense, and how it pains her heart to be regarded as one who can share with you only the commonplace things of thoughts and feeling and unable to have any appreciation of the nobler parts of your nature as every sympathy with the deeper emotions of your heart. Before we were married I accidentally overheard Almeda tell Mary White that you were one of that class of men who did not want a wife for society. I did not believe it. I thought she misunderstood you; but I have sometimes thought since that perhaps there was more truth in what she said than I cared to believe, and it has pierced my heart like an arrow. And Jamie honestly I do not know how far that is not true even now, and it is the recollection of these words with other dark passages written upon our Past which make me so keenly sensitive to the slightest act look or word which in any way reminds me of them for in my innermost heart I would scorn any such secondary place in your heart and only the love for you and regard for your happiness which I bear ever in my heart could hold me to the endurance of it for a moment. I do not write these things to blame you, dearest, I do not blame you even if what Almeda said is true. If you are so constituted that the society of others is more desirable than a wife's or if the strange untoward circumstances of your life in its relations to me have driven you for sympathy to others until you can not go elsewhere first, then you are not to blame [for it], and far be it from me to speak one word of censure. But you must not o. no. you must not blame me if I feel it, nor ought you ever if I am sometimes unjust in my interpretations of you for my heart ever too sensitive has been wounded until every pressure answers with the outgushinglife blood. I try to hid it. I crush back the tears just as long as I can fro I know they make you unhappy. I would not have cried yesterday morning for a world if I could have prevented it. I would not have spoken of Columbus at all if I had supposed I should lose my control over those tell tale tears., but your seeming indifference about. my coming and especially your reluctance coming and especially your reluctance to have me stay with you only while the others did made me feel that I did not want to go at all, and that it would be only for the sake of keeping up appearances that I should go. We had spoken of my going and staying with you until you returned home and it had been a pleasure to me to think of doing so, and I thought that by staying away the first few weeks of next term it would not be thought strange that I did not go into school in the Spring. It seemed neglectful that you said nothing about it yourself when you came home, and when I asked you about it you seemed so indifferent and at once proposed something else, as though you did not expect or desire any such thing that I could not but feel badly. I did not intend you should know it but since you saw something was the matter I give this explanation. I presume the plan you proposed was the best and I will do as you wish hoping that you will forgive me wherein I wrong you. I love you Jamie and will try and bear patiently what cannot be helped- Your CreteColumbus Sunday Feb 5 1860 My Dear Wife I have not attended church today- but have spent most of its hours in my bed sleeping. Mr Cox has been at church twice + I have been here alone. It has been a cold dreary pattering day for the muddy streets have recd new accessions of wet-from the drizzling rain. My health is considerably better than it was when I wrote you last still I am far from well My diarrhea still continuous and- a half dizzy - swimmy feeling keeps me uncomfortable I hope to be fully recovered in a few days. I have worked a little on my Geological Report and spoken a little in the Senate. 104I have been more lonesome ------------ and discontented since I returned this time than I have been for a great while. I can hardly ac- count for it- I have sent you a copy of the Ohio Farm- er - which contains mu article on the Geological Survey- The Editor of the Cultivator is out in his last number with a res- ponse in which he charges the authorship of my article up Mr Townshend. President of the State Agricultural Board which fact is rather flattering as well as amusing to me. I begin to hear the outcome of our Legislative excursion. The Akron + Ravenna papers are somewhat down on the movement the Akron decidedly so- I shall be praised + blamed about as I expected I suppose maybe I ought to be taking some medicine but I dont know how to doc tor unless there is somebody to attend to me. I very -- miss your kind attentions- which were so grateful to my aching head + heart during those days of pain. I very much desire to be well tomorrow for Harrison's Bill is coming up and I desire to be heard on that question I suppose we shall have a warm time- for there is a good deal of feeling on both sides- The papers are inclined to abuse our Legislature roundly + see no good thing in us at all-and I dont know but they will succeed in throwing contempt upon all we shall be able to do yet I hope notYou must not fail to visit me in vacation- and I want you to let me know in your next letter - how much more you want + I will either sent it to you in a letter or have you draw it from the treasury there- I send you a poem which I very much admire Get our family together and have it read - Mr Cox cop- ied it for me today- Gov Chase held a lease an eve- ning or two since- I was there a short time and saw Judge Tilden of Cleveland - He is a relative of yours I believe is he not? I sent word to Newburgh I should not be there till two weeks from today- Ever Your husband James.[*Ohio*] [*Columbus Ohio*] Hiram. Feb. 8. 1860. My Dear Husband: I received your line last night and am glad to know that you were alive after you journey though it would be far more satisfactory [that] know how you now are. I was sick all last night. The house was too full of pain to allow any quiet sleep and long and tedious they seemed as I lay in our little room all above it. I am better to day so much so that I have attended to my classes as usual still feel weak and miserable I hope it is nothing more than a cold which will leave me soon. But I shall be well taken care of however it may be for your Mother is with me now. She came home with Ella from Solon this morning. My especial object in writing to day is to make a little request of you 162Father received a letter from John a few days since. He has disposed of his lien for a lot in Chicago, and there is about $1,400 of taxes to be paid on it, and he is very much troubled to raise any money, and said he did not know but it would be sold before he could succeed in getting any. He did not ask anyone to lend him the amount but I know you had considerable money on hand now or could have, and if you are willing I would like to have you send him $1,500 to help until he can return it without trouble unless you should need it before. He has had so much to discourage him since he has been West that it would be a great pleasure to me to help him a little in that way. Father would send him the amount but he cannot get it now and it may be too late before he can. You may send it directly from Columbus or send it here. No more now I hope to hear again tonight. Your own Crete.Columbus Feb 9. 1860 My Dear Crete I will write you only a short note enclosing a letter and $15.00 to Bro John as I do not know what his address it or I would send it directly to him- I am still quite unwell but have seen a doctor and am taking medicine. I took part in the debate on Wednesday on Mr Harrison's bill- and speaking half or three quarters of an hour made me quite weak and exhausted. I feel much better now however and shall keep a little more quiet for a few days to come. I am glad to know that mother is with you. I want her to write to me + I will answer her 106in a few days. Elijah Innson and your cousin James Mason of Cleveland are her. Elijah hoes this afternoon to Memphis Tenn- We have had a fierce and exciting time on Mr Har- rrisons Bill. Mr Cox made a good speech which you will see in the Cincinnati Commercial which I sent to Almeda yesterday. I made a speech on Wednesday which is given in sketch in the Journal but you will see a fuller account in the Cleveland Leader. We gained a glorious victory over Harrison + his fogies. I wrote you on Sunday evening- You have it before now I presume I don't hear from Harry. I understand there is some talk in Hiram about my vote on the Legislative visit- Let me know about it. You must be careful of your health. I feel safe in regard to your having good care when Mother is there. Write me immediately about your health Tell me exactly what is the matter You may consider the $15.00 lent to John or Father just as you please. Perhaps you better write to John instead of lending my letter Love to Mother + all Your James[*Ohio*] [* Columbus Ohio*] Hiram Feb. 10. 1860. My Darling Husband: Last night I had a long letter finished for you; but I shall not let you have it. It's beginning was draped in a radiant web of sunshine but night came before it was finished and the shadows gathered around it, and I have resolve to have no more of shadows. I have laid in background enough of them to give relief to a long time time. Now for the light. I have turned my back upon the mists and poisoned vapors of the low valley of life through which we have so long laid our pathway and am hastening to the sun gilded hilltops: and you will come with me too. The Past shall be a scaled back and we will live in the glorious - living and loving better and truer through each new hour that God shall give us. Will we not dear Jamie? Can we not? Yes we can and we 163must. If not for our own sakes we must for that little one which we are hoping soon to come out and bless us. We must ignore all that has been wrong in our Past, and live as though it had never been unless we would embitter that little life with all the desolation that gathers around the homes of those whose parents fail to know that perfect union which marriage should always find. Jamie we must know the perfection of love for each other, before we can hope for perfect peace. I wish you would talk and write to me of those things sometimes. It seems to me sometimes that you do not care very much whether we are ever any nearer and dearer to each other; but I do not believe this. I know that you desire to become the true husband and to see me the wife who can fill up the whole measure of your happiness, and in the clear light of truth we will try to become all this to each other and let us ever talk freely and kindly of every thing. Let us have no reservation. I am feeling a great deal better than when I wrote you last though not quite as well as before my head aches almost all the time now. I am anxious to hear from you again. I am afraid you are not gaining as rapidly as we want you to. One week more finishes up our term, and how glad I am. You ask how much money I am going to want. Not very much for myself, but I thought I had better pay up our board bill before I go away. For the half term for sure it will be $16.12 I believe but you know you did not pay Mrs. Northrup anything for your Mother's board last fall or this winter and Mary White was here two weeks. So I presume it will need about $25.00, and 5,00 will answer for me. There is very little left in the treasury after the teachers drew their extra pay. You know that the division made the first half of the term was of more than half the tuition receivedthis time. Are you coming up to Newburgh a week from next Sunday? If so I will go back with you. I can go then I think, and I want to go for a reason. I will tell you when I see you. - The Poem you sent was very pretty. Present our thanks to Mr. Cox for it. I hope you will learn the music. We have cousins from Illinois visiting us now, and they are waiting for me to go home with them so you will excuse me for stopping. They are very sorry not to see you. Your loving Wife Crete.Columbus Feb. 12. 1860. My Dear Crete- It is a very quiet and beautiful day--and I feel the currents of health--flowing more equally than they have done for several weeks. I think I shall soon recover my full soundness of health. I have been at the Universalist Church this forenoon to hear the Rev. Mr Conway of Cincinnati--formerly of Washington. He is a free thinker of the Theodore Parker school--a sort of broad church man. He possesses a good deal of talent--and I was pleased to hear him--and yet I fear I am too much inclined to be fault finding in regard to ministers. This evening we shall go to hear Bishop Bedell--who [121]represents a belief as totally opposite to Mr Conway's as can be conceived-- I am to deliver an address to the Sabbath School [???] of the city, next Tuesday evening, I don't know how I shall come out in the matter, for I have but little time to prepare for a speech. Your cousin James Mason has been here a few days, and I have agreed with him that you and I will visit him next Saturday. I will endeavor to go up to Cleveland on the Friday morning train and shall hope to meet you at the Weddell--We can be at Mason's by 12. o'clock and can spend the afternoon there--& perhaps the evening. I shall be in Newburgh on Sunday. I hope you will be able to meet me as above indicated. Please write me immediately in regard to the matter. Perhaps Mother better come on with you and stop at Newburgh & we can visit with her on Sunday & Sunday evening. Ask her to do so. I cannot visit Hiram this time I think--but I will try to in three weeks from now. If you can return with me I want you to do so. And now, Crete--Dear--I think you have misunderstood me on this subject--I have all the while wanted you to come down here and spend some time with me. But from the absorbing nature of our work--and my frequent absences from the city, I thought it would neither be pleasant nor desirable for you to stay more than two weeks. If it would, I most surely want you to do so. But more of this when I see you. I wanted you should all come down--for I have not yet visited the Public Institutions and places of interest yet--hoping to have the greater pleasure of visiting them in company-- I do not hear a word from Almeda or Harry--I don't know why--Tell mother to write to me when you write next-- I want to hear from her. Give her my love--I cannot now write specially to her--Tell me how the school is progressing--I don't hear a word from any of the teachers-- Hoping to hear soon--and see you next Saturday--I am as ever Your own James. Hiram. Feb. 13. 1860. [*Columbus Ohio*] My Own Dear Jamie: I have just received the line you sent with the one enclosed to John. Thank you very much for it - both I mean. I am sorry you are not well yet, and I am afraid you are not going to be until you can come home to stay. From the papers we see there is a prospect of an early adjournment. We hope it may not fail. We saw a notice of you in the Herald, and thought [it] your speech must be worthy of commendation indeed if such a smashing old fellow as the Herald correspondent could call it "able and eloquent". I have not heard any expression of feeling about your note on the Legislative visit, except what Clark Norton said to me. I visited there last Saturday and took occasion to chat with him a little about legislature in general, and you in particular. He is very [*164*] We are making out the Reports & I want yours very much Can they get here before they must be distributed? If you write immediately perhaps they can. Crete.candid always, and I think a man of good judgement. He approves of your course entirely in the visit - complimented your speech at Louisville and thought the visit itself a fine thing. He also expressed himself glad that you took the position you did on the School Library Law, and the Bill for the nonpublication of the Laws in the newspapers. I presume there are some men in town who will find fault with you anyhow, and I consider it a compliment to you that they do, but as far as I know the men on whose judgement you rely almost universally approve of your course this winter. - Mr. Clapp has succeeded in raising the money he was hoping to, and today Harry received for the Mortgage a draft on the Commercial Bank Cleveland for 310.00 An account and money were given to cover the balance. Harry delivered them to Mr. [Harrington?] to keep until your return. I do not know why Harry has not written to you. He has talked as though he did not intend to go to Columbus, and gave partly as a reason that he did not think you were very anxious he should, or at least he made that an excuse for not going, but I have been talking to him about it this evening and I rather think he will yet decide go. I wrote you a letter last Friday stating the amount you might send to pay our board bill etc. I hope you will have answered before you receive this for if I go to Newburgh, I want to go Friday morning so as to stop and see Joseph and his school a little while. Your mother has gone home. She only staid til Saturday. I think she felt a little homesick without you. If you come to Newburgh next Sunday she said she might perhaps go there too, and go on and visit some friends in Indiana I think. I am pretty well now, and will try and keep so. Hoping to hear again soon. As ever your loving little Crete. The cousins from Illinois left this morning. They left their regards for you and were sorry they did not see you.[*Ohio*] Hiram Wednesday morning [?] /60 [*Columbus Ohio*] My Dear Jamie I received your long good letter last night, but was so busy filling up blank reports that I did not answer and have only time this morning for a time to tell you that I will be at Cleveland Saturday morning if alive and well. I will send a line to Mother this morning to tell her to be sure and be at Newburgh also. Almeda wrote to you last week sometime I presume you have received her letter before this. Harry says you were to write to him first. I hope they will both go to Columbus and I rather think they will. The school has been doing finely since you were here everything is in good order as far as I know. I thought about you last evening and imagined I saw you in one of your happiest moods entertaining the little fellows of the Capital. I gave you all good wishes for success & I hope you enjoyed [*165*]the benefit of them or at least succeeded to your own satisfaction. If you did that I know you satisfied every body else. It must have been quite a tax upon your strength but I hope you are now so far recovered as not to be injured by it. I head Mr. Conway in Cleveland when there. If I recollect him right I think you perhaps had some reason to find fault. He did not make a very favorable impression in Cleveland. Loving you and hoping to see you very soon. I am your own Crete[Fe 1860] "The Ear-rings" A Moorish ballad, from the Spanish. "My Ear-rings! My Ear-rings! they've dropped into the well, "And what to say to Muça, I cannot, cannot tell!" 'twas thus Granada's fountain by, spoke Alburharez' daughter. "The well is deep, far down they life, beneath the cold, blue water; To me did Muça give them, when he spake his sad farewell, And what to say when he comes back, alas! I cannot tell! 2. "My Ear-rings! My Ear-rings! they were pearls in silver set, That when my Moor was far away, I ne'er should him forget; That I ne'er to other tongue should list, nor smile on other's tale, But remember he my lips had kissed, pure as those Ear-rings pale. When he comes back, & hears that I have dropped them in the well, O! what will Muça think of me? I cannot, cannot tell! [105] 3. My ear-rings! My Ear-rings! he'll say they should have been Not of pearls & of silver, but of gold & glittering sheen; Of jasper & of onyx, & of diamond shining clear, Changing to the changing light, with radiance insincere: That changing mind, unchanging gems are not befitting well-- Thus will he think, & what to say, alas! I cannot tell! 4. He'll think, when I to market went, I loitered by the way: He'll think, a willing ear I lent to all the lads might say: He'll think, some other lover's hand, among my tresses noosed, From the ears where he had placed them, my rings of pearl unloosed: He'll think, when I was sporting so beside this marble well, My pearls fell in;--& what to say, alas! I cannot tell! 5. He'll say I am a woman & we are all the same: He'll say I loved when he was here, to whisper of his flame; But when he went to Tunis, my virgin troth had broken, And tho't no more of Muça & cared not for his token-- My ear-rings! my ear-rings! oh, luckless, luckless well! For what to say to Muça, alas! I cannot tell! 6. "I'll tell the truth to Muça, --& I hope he will believe,-- That I thought of him at morning, and thought of him at eve; That musing on my love, when down the sun was gone, His ear-rings in my hand I held, by the fountain all alone; And that my mind was o'er the sea, when from my hand they fell, And that deep his love lies in my heart, as they lie in the well!" La Nina Morena. Columbus March 14 1860 Dear Crete, I have been expecting a letter from Hiram, but I have not heard a word since I left. Last Saturday, I went to Cincinnati and did not return till yesterday - Sunday morning. I spoke in Bro Bennett's church and while I -------was in the city with Bro Bishop - the mayor of the city. He is a fine man and has a very pleasant family. Since my return from home we have torn up one former decision in regard to adjournment and now it is fully settled I think. We shall adjourn on Monday, the 26th of March to much again in January 1861. 107So I shall expect to be in Hiram one week from next Tuesday- and resume my work in the school- I have been and am still very anxious to know how the school is doing- and how many students here are- As the session draws to a close our business becomes more laborious- Events crowd upon each other very rapidly + it requires all of ones ener- gies to keep the run of bus- iness- and act intelligently I shall be glad when the work is ended- Much of the time since I left home I have felt sad and unhappy but yet - a press of duties goes far to keep my thoughts comparatively cheerful- I shall try to make life for you and myself- as pleasant as possible. But I have not been feeling as though I could write - before- I hope we may be able to get along as pleasantly and happily as is possible the chances and changes of life- I am now in the Senate chamber- and a bill has just come up which requires my attention. I hope to hear from you- and the other members of our circle soon, Ever the same JamesHiram, Sunday March 18, 1860 My Dear Dear Jamie: Please don't be "sad"-- don't be "unhappy" any more. Please don't think me just an unreasonable little lady who will not be gratified only by making you as miserable as possible. I acknowledge my liability to be unreasonable and selfish but not my intention to be so. I confess too that there is a strong possibility that I am too tenacious of my own opinions of sight and wrong but it does not seem to me that I am so extreme in this as to make quite justifiable the way you receive every thing which I speak of which seems to me not quite right in your treatment of me and of others. Would you not think me unjust if Jamie, whenever you reprove me for my abrupt and harsh way of speaking sometimes I should lay it to heart as wilful desire and determination on your part to deprive me of [166]one of my privileges? You asked from me the promise before we were married that if these things of which I spoke become a source of unhappiness to me that I should unhesitatingly tell you of them, for that our own happiness was to be considered, prior to all else earthly, and it seemed a little hard to have you tell me in [action?] for so doing that you had for several months felt that it was probably a great mistake that we had ever tried a married life, but Jamie I will not [treasure?] it up against you for presume I have provoked you to think and feel and spy a great many things of which you would have been entirely innocent had I taken a different course, and I am going to try harder than ever before to be the best little wife possible. You need not be a bit afraid of my introducing one of those long talks--such a terror to you--ever again. I am glad you are coming home so soon, but you must come with a bright face or the shadow of those hours of terrible suffering--which are so surely and steadily coming upon me--will steel over me with its chill of death.-- Nearly all of the time since you left it has been such delightful weather, and Almeda and I get up every school morning at five and take a half hour's walk before breakfast. You cannot conceive how we enjoy it until you come to go with us. Such a cheerful beautiful glow of feeling it gives us, which lasts through the whole day and makes us happy in spite of ourselves.--School is starting up so finely too that I am sure you will be glad to return to it. We have here already 192 students. Last Spring at this time there were only 185. Friday evening Mr. and Mrs. Sloane--Sarah Spencer--came to take charge of the writing class. Mr. Spencer wrote that he nor his sons could not come, but recommended Mrs. Sloane.-- You did not write whether your Mother went to Columbus with you. If she is there give her my love also remember me to CousinEzra's family. I received the paper you sent and confess myself a little shocked at the notice of the "crochet." Did you not feel a few pricks of conscience when you saw it? I am sure you have deprived yourself of the privilege of advising with Uncle Matthew concerning any more of those strange things in his head, by that firm loving propensity of yours which provoked you to reveal that profound secret. Almeda sends her love to you but will not write. She says you have more time than she, and that you ought to write first if you wish a letter. Remember me to Mr. Bascon's people and Mr. Cor. I shall be very happy to receive another letter if it would be a pleasure to you write one. If you will let us know when you will be here we will send to the cars for you. Mother sends her love and every body here is anxious to see you. Ever yours. Crete. P.S. The days of which I can not find the Legislative Report are Jan. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. Feb. 7. 8. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. March 6. 7. 8. I do not think the Tri-Weeklies ?) have them all. I am sure there has not been so many papers lost. Crete.Detroit, July 24 - 1860 Dear Creti - It is by the merest chance that we got aboard the boat. When I found that Harry and Almeta did not come on the Mahoning I gave up the state rooms I had engaged - and went up town to enjoy the political meeting which was to be held on the public square - Just then I met a party of Ruvennia friends, who were going on the Iron City - and insisted that I should go. They said you tell I remine here on return. Write me here - and send it as soon as Saturday morning - or Monday. I shall write when I soon get a chance to [??] letters - [???] for me. For you [??] I brave this Ice before I left I wish you and he could be with us. Write some friends I say today or send to all in one big letter - tell me what letters come - Don't let "Frost" whoop Ever James they would lead me shirts & Capt. Lumer he would lend me an overcoat - Finally I concluded to go - and was going to write them a letter telling them to come up on the "Fountain City" next Thursday evening - and meet me at Marquette on my return from Ontonagon - I went on board - and a little while before we were about to start they came aboard from the Pittsburgh cars. They had got left - and went on to Ravenna - Halsey Hall's wife is aboard - John L. Ranna - and several others from Ravenna - Mis Fairbanks - of Cleveland. There are about 150 in all & I think we shall have a fine time - though it is rather cold. We left Cleveland at 10 o'clock last evening and reached here about 8. this morning. I have been to see Setta Robison - She has not yet decided whether to go up or not. I think she will not go - I have just spent a half hour with Sen. Cass - Buchannans prime minister - I had a very interesting time If I have time. I shall write an article for the Democrat in regard to it - So I willsay more here - In about an hour we go on up the River - I have another boil coming - about an inch from where the other one was - It is getting quite painful. I have tried to scatter - but dont know as I shall succeed- I am sorry that I did no have time to make some arrangements for money before I left - I really have not seen any - lest we may find - before we return - You Know. I borrowed $54 of Alumeda. I have to pay her may here - in payment - for she has not money - Bro. Richards owes me $1,00. If you can see him or Mr. Manley. Or if you are pressed Horace Bros. will let you have some - I am sorry about it. Our stoppages are uncertain & I shall not be sure of getting letters for 6 o'clock P.M. Wed- July 25-1860. My Dear Crete We are now in sight of the Sault St. Marie--and I learn that we are not to stop only time to pass through the locks. So I will take a moment before we reach the locks to pencil a few words as well as my bad arm will let me. We left Detroit about noon, yesterday-- and have come nearly due north 400 miles--It is so cold that I am comfortable with my overcoat on. Our point of destination is about 6 1/2 degrees north of Cleveland--We have had a fine passage--About an hour ago I shot a duck--from the bow-- (I, not the duck) Dashing around on every side are huge white sea gulls--and a little while ago [109]I saw a huge bald eagle. I felt some like William Tell I could not shoot at him. The band are now playing "Annie Laurie"--as we pass along the shores lined with beautiful cedars--and skirted with Indian huts--Now, we have touched shore and are all going off to walk around by the Post Office--and get on at the upper lock. My love to "Trot" and ace-- Ever JamesST BOAT Mrs. J. A. Garfield Hiram Portage Co Ohio. CLEVELAND JUL 27 1860 O. [*109-A*][July 29, 1860] [60] Hiram Sunday Morn. July 29 My Dear "Ever James", I received your first letter Thursday night on your next last night but I have not been able to commence a letter before nor am I now. My breast has been getting worse ever since you left. It is swollen very much and at times it is exceedingly painful, and I have grown so weak that for three or four days I have not been able to sit up more than an hour or two. Yesterday and last night it did not pain me nearly as much and the doctor said there was a bare possibility that it might not gather still thinks it almost certain that it will. I cough a great deal too which [168]discourages me more than any thing else. I want you here so much and sometimes when I am feeling so bad it seems so hard to have you away that I have to cry like a baby. I will write you again so that it will meet you in Cleveland, and if I am not better you will come right home won't you-- and not stop to spend Sunday at Solon. I am glad you are having such a fine trip since you are away and wish a letter could reach me every day for they are some comfort. Letters have come to you from two wishing to become students. I have answered them. One from Mr. Bascon. One from Miss Bearn and one from a Mr. Bull of Newburgh respecting a horse trade. He wishes to sell you one or both of the span that he drove to Chagrin Falls. Says he will drive out here if you wish him to do so. Wallace was here a day or two since and Joe says he told him to tell you not to buy Dr. Robison's horse. That you could get one cheaper. The letter I enclose I answered telling them that you were away but that I would send you the letter as soon as I learned where to direct and possibly you might get it in time to make an appointment. When Wallace came he said he did not think it best for you to go there now. "Little" Trot is well and good as ever. (I guess she is "Ever" Trot.) She is lying on the lounge now engaged in her solemn ceremony of extracting the sweets from a mysterious cup. She is very much attached to her bottle--thinks it a great institution, and sends a kiss and a great deal of love to her father. She still looks upon theserious side of life however and utterly refuses to smile upon the world she has been introduced into. She opens her eyes very wide though and looks very wise. We presume her sobriety is due to your absence as she has always manifested such an ardent attachment to you. I am very sorry that I failed to appreciate the grasp of affection contained in your signature as it would save me such an expenditure of expression should I adopt it, since I am so dull I must go through the fatiguing process of subscribing myself your most exceedingly unwaveringly undyingly fond devoted attached loving admiring affectionate faithful anxiously desirous to see you Crete.[*JaGarfield*] [*July/1860*] Dear Jammie: Harry has concluded to take his black coat, and his sachel is so full that it will be impossible to get yours in without a great deal of squeezing, and I am afraid it would injure it more than all the good it would do you would pay you for. You started in such a hurry this morning that I forgot to ask you for a little money to use while you are gone. Aunt Susan will want a little before you return, and I asked Harry if he could not let me have $2,00 as I had succeeded in getting $40,00 but he had nothing less than a five, and though I have given several not very sly hints that he might get it changed or something of the kind still he does not seem to understand; Can you send me back a dollar or two? Dr Drash called this morning. He says my breast seems like gathesing but perhaps he can prevent it. Hope it may not. It seems real lonely to be left behind when you are going on such a fine trip but you must enjoy [*169*]for us both and bring home the whole to enjoy again with me. I shall feel very bad if you forget any of your daily offerings. Think of "mother" and "little Trot" very often, who are thinking about you almost all the time and loving you ever. Your little Crete.Oh Hiram Aug. 1. 1860 Dear Jamie, I don't know how I am or what I am but think I must be one of Deacon Bedott's "poor creatures". My appetite is all gone if you can find some nice ripe tomatoes in Cleveland please bring some to me, It seems to me that some good fresh oranges would taste pretty well too. Last night a letter came from the "Wide Awcke's and "Lincoln Int" of Steubenville inviting you to deliver a speech before a convention--they were to hold the 8th of August. They requested a reply by return mail and I sent a line telling where you were and when you would return. These [169]compliments make me very proud of you but could not make me love you any more. I have never told you how proud I was of your Ravenna Oration It made me cry so that I could read only a little way at a time. Is the original manuscript lost? I did want it so much to keep for little "Trot". Another letter came also from Mr. Harvey of [???] inviting you to meet him at O.P. Brown's tomorrow for that visit you had promised. Yours alone Crete. How many adventures has Harry met with and what does Mrs. Booth think of Lake Superior with her traveling cloak for a protection? Crete.Old Room at Buscom's Sunday . Jan. 7. 1861. My Dear Crete. After a very busy day in Newburgh and Cleveland I reached my old room here at two o'clock this morning - I got but little rest on the sleeping car nor could I sleep for an hour after I arrived and so I am dull this morning and full of a slow headache - On opening my trunk I find many little marks of your prudent care in putting in articles which I should have utterly forgotten All of these - gratitude has duly treasured up - Cox has not yet arrived from Oberlin - whither he went on Friday morning - but he is expected by the first train [*113*]tomorrow- The members are generally here- I had a good visit of two hours at uncle Thomas and I also called a moment at Caleb Morgan's - Poor Julia is very low- She has been confine to her bed for nine or ten weeks and seems to be getting no better. I wish you could go and see her. Her stay is very short I fear- In the letter I received from William Letcher he said Jonie was there- and "he and Louis" to use Williams' language "seemed to be taking a great deal of comfort" I thought we would try this year- Commencing with Jan 1st to keep our accounts more strctly So I have opened a memorandum of my own and I herewith send you the items up to this date- whichJan 3. To Westonver for Wood 2.00 " " " " " 1.00 " " " Oysters 50 " " " for Hay & wood 10.00 " Postage last 2. - 3.00 4 Jack. Atwater for my classes Teaching 9.50 " Drayage of Agr. Reports 1.00 " Subscribe to Ludwulks Pa 5.00 5 Bill at L. W. Hall's 16.00 " Mrs Finchump on board 20.75 6. Bill at Weddell .40 " Pr Boots 7.50 " Cord & Tassell .50 " Bal of Acct at Cobb's 5.60 " Sleeping Car 50 " Buss at Columbus 25 - I believe my debts are nearly paid - And now a word for our precious little Trot - Kiss her and toss her for me - and write down in her journal that I have sent her my love in a letter from Columbus - By the way - why not write in the journal for her frequently - and tell her a little of my doings - If you get a daily mail I will send the daily Journal Tell me the arrangements of the mail when you write [again] me - Which please do soon - Every Your James. [*The Conductor found my College watch key last fall & gave it me yesterday - Please send me the ring of it in a letter -*]Hiram Jan. 9. 1861 Dear James: We are so alone without you. It seems to me I never missed you so much before. Alumeda and I are necessarily each in our own rooms most of the time, and when the table bell rings we form in solemn procession at the head of the stairs and proceed with the utmost gravity to the dining room. There we meet Harry who looks as savage as the earache and sundry other ailments can make him, and though we call up an occasional laugh it is sufficiently decorous to do no disfigure to the occasion. Then it has been so dismal out of doors ever since you went away. & cold freezing rain has covered everything with a glare of ice, and the low clouds hang around so dark and swollen. Verily I have been too blue to write anything but a gloomy letter and such a one. I knew you did not 170want. We were made unexpectedly very happy last night by your letter. We did not suppose we would receive any before the last of the week. I am not sure but we shall get our mail sooner from Ravenna than we did from the Mahoning train. We are to have a daily mail from Ravenna. so will expect the Daily Journal as you promised. Last night after reading your letter I attended to the little duties you requested. transcribed to our Acc. Book the items you mentioned and wrote in Beals journal. The little precious is lying in your place now kicking and walking about at a great rate. There now she is tugging away to get one of her toes in her mouth - now she looks around at me and laughs. I think she understands that I am writing to you about her. She is growing strong and smart very fast now. She sits alone on the floor a long time without tipping over and does a great many cunning little things every day. Don't you miss her gentle little kicks in the morning? I think your morning nap must be a very slim affair without them. I wish you could see her now, she is such a perfect picture of active happy babyhood. Would you ever grow weary of reading about her? It seems to me I could never tire of writing but enough now. Saturday afternoon Alameda and I as we promised called on Miss. Gilden. She was very pleasant and agreeable and we were glad we went. Yesterday Harmon Austin and Mrs. Reed called here. They were up to see Harvey about speaking for them. He does not go however I believe Harry says they have gone into the oil speculation. Dr. Brush -acting upon his responsibility as town physician I suppose to allay all virulent and contagious fevers- is administering heavy doses of anti oil news to the mass and to individuals as he may have opportunity. The items of his news - obtained from "respectable and intelligent" sources he says - are that 600 wells have beensunk only ten of which pay expenses and only three clear any thing. Dont your pulse beat slower now? "Bill" performed quite a feat on his way to Ravenna. A gun was fired near him. He leaped to the side of the road whirled entirely round with the carriage, and went on his way to Ravenna without breaking a thing. Wallace thinks he has had some bad training and bad treatment too. I am afraid you have rather abused Billy. The drive to [Me?] and back that slippery day was too hard. I am glad you called to see Julia. I am sorry to hear that she is so low. I would like to go and see her and will if I can. Now Jamie dar will you not write me a great deal about your self and your doings this winter, and if it will make you any happier or do you any good - know that your little Crete is thinking about you a great deal and hoping that you may act in everything with wisdom and prudence, always taking a brave and noble part. A little word of love and tenderness when you heart feels it for me will always make me so happy that I know you will not deny it me. Your own loving Crete.Columbus - Sunday Jan 13. 1861-- My Dear Crete Your letter was duly received and read with a great deal of pleasure. How [much] much the fact of our little Trot's existence has added to the horizon of our lives. The laws of perspective have placed her in a point where all other things have assumed new and peculiar relations to each other. This morning I have been looking over a volume of fine English Engravings. Many among them were of children of various ages and in various attitudes. Whenever there was not too manifest a dissimilarity I was seeing the little plump face of Trot peering out from the picture. Bless her little soul. I hope she will live to [115]know how dear a little creature she is. This has been a very busy and eventful week. I have sent you the Journal (daily) which I presume, you are getting regularly--It reports are very meagre. A speech that would really cover two columns--being condensed to ten lines or less. But still you see the current of events. Yesterday, we had a very exciting day. We had managed to keep our Union Saving resolutions till on Thursday evening the Republicans of both houses held a general caucus--and after a whole evening spent in debate a committee was appointed to present resolutions. We drafted them and had Harrison present them The debate which sprang up was a very exciting one--but resulted in general unanimity. I think we shall soon pass a law to arm the State. There is a strong warlike sentiment here. The members are forming a company of 40 for military drill. So I expect in a few days Cox & I will be seen on the east portico of the State bearing the use of the light infantry musket. Of course, this is for the sake of exercise as well as to encourage a citizen soldiery I have got a new suit of clothes entire costing $33.00-- which please put down on our account book. I have a frock coat which cost $16.00--and is very thick and comfortable. The pants are of the same material. I wish you would look in the cupboard below--and tell me which volume of the debates in the Ohio Constitutional Convention I have I have two there--but I believe they are both the same--& I want to get the other one-- I want you to write to me often--for I very much love to read your letters and hear how you are doing. I hope Dr Musk will be able to stand it on the oil subject. I trust the noise is not alarming, the company any. How is widow Young feeling in regard to her girl? I want to know all about the school. How is Joe getting along? Have you heard any think from Dr Manly yet? I will tell him to send you the money And now take my love and divide it between yourself and Trot-- and tell her not to suck her finger Ever Your James Hiram Jan. 17. 1861. My Dear Jimmie: To read your letters, write to you and hold in my arms our little darling constitute the threefold joy of my life, a joy which can be superseded only by that which your presence would give. It seems like such a long time since you went away - long enough indeed for me to suppose that many and great changes might have occurred. Now don't you believe you are of some consequence to me when your absence makes the house drag so heavily! [?] you are all the world to me. You and [?]. The little mischief is sitting up on the floor laughing and squealing and making her little arms fly like some little wild creature. She scarcely ever tips over now. Once in a while bump goes her head, but never a cry. She is getting so that she plays with things instead of putting 171them all in her mouth and it is very amusing to see what a sweet little creature she is. For instance, the other day she was lying on the floor. I noticed she was very quiet and looked around to see what she was doing. She had in one hand a piece of paper about an inch square and was trying to get hold of it with the other, but every time she would get her little untrained hand over it, it would slip past before she could close it. She was struggling so that she trembled all over, and on her face was such a look of determination. I watcher her a moment then spoke to her and she looked up dropped her little hands and broke out into such a pitiful little cry of weariness and vexation that I felt real sorry for her and helped her get the paper. But she was not a bit satisfied with it then. I was sorry that I spoke to her. I would like to have seen if she would have give up when left to herself. In that little struggle I saw so much of her father's earnestness and determination, and it made me love her all the better. Every one that comes in now says how pretty she is growing. I write all these little things to you for I know you love her as well as I do and all these thing interest you. --We watch all the papers now with a great deal of interest both for the state legislative matter and for Southern news. A crisis is doubtless approaching of which we in our quiet homes can scarcely realize the magnitude. You in the Legislature in your contests can begin to bring it home, and look to stern realities in the face. I feel how much you need all the wisdom and strength that may be given you. On the part that you may play, dear Jamie in coming events I cannot but feel a deep and earnest anxiety still I have a settled and abiding confidence that it will be a part which Wisdom and Justice shall direct. Yet you must notrely upon self alone. Ask the wisdom which God alone can give. In our little circle affairs move on in their usual harmony. Mrs. Young feels very bad, and I think did not at all understand your motive in not receiving Delia. She seems anxious to think our course in regard to her was due to a little personal spite you felt [?] something you had heard. I am sorry she should think that you would be influence by such a thing.- Joe is getting along well now. The last news form Miss Rosetta were that she was pleading to return to school: but her father said "no she would be stirring up another fuss".- It is the second volume of the Debate you have. Nothing has been heard from Dr. Manly yet I believe. I have written to your Mother to come and stay with me during the protracted meeting which commences here tomorrow night. Now Jamie dear you are coming home in two weeks more are you not? Write often and long. I love to hear about everything that concerns you and I feel my heart beat with a new joy whenever you have won new honors or some noble deed. Trot and I write our love and send it all to you our best loved. Your loving little Crete. Columbus. Jan. 19. 1861. Crete Dear- I am exceedingly tired and weary. It seems as though I am never to get rested. I very much wish I could sit down at home with you and Trot and all, & have a quiet nice chat. I have been to Governor Dennison's to dinner-- and have had a pleasant visit with his wife and children. She is a very pleasant companionable woman--and has a very pleasant family. There were five senators invited--and we had a fine dinner. I have also had another adventure which may interest you. Yesterday Abby Kelly Foster was here in the Senate Chamber-- and I got into conversation with her She is a woman of remarkable talent for real keen perception and terrible power of denunciation-- yet all is done in the quiet Quaker Style. After a long conversation to which several were giving marked at- 116tention--and after she had told Monroe that he was a bigoted priest. She turned to me and said, "Mr Garfield, what need is there of you making any pretense of denial. You voted for Mr Lincoln--and any man who did that is either a knave or a fool--and I know from your conversation that you are not a fool. You are of the Devil. "You are in a league with death and a covenant with hell." All this she said in the very mildest possible manner. In the same tone I said, "Mrs Foster, I have long admired your talents and many of your positions--but I have as long thought--and am now confirmed in it--that in your heart--your affectional nature you are the most cold-bloodedly vindictive--terrible cruel--unwomanly woman--I have ever heard of--the least in you that indicates the possession of a true woman's heart--"She took it in the same quiet way that I gave it while the bystanders were thunderstruck at these fervent mutual confessions of affection. There is being made a great effort at women's rights this winter. Mr Moore--the way of the Senate will make a report to the Senate on the subject in a few days-- There is a little sensation item in town just now. One of the clerks in the Treasury today broke out with the small pox. He was in the Senate only a few hours ago. There is consideral agitation among some of the members--but I don't think then will anything come of it. The poor fellow was denied a place to stay in the city and has just been sent off to the Poor House--or Hospital as they prefer to call it. But don't be alarmed at it at all--I am, I think taking a place in the Senate which is fully equal-- In union with Many me desirable ce. I suppose you are in the papers the general tention--and after she had told Monroe that he was a bigoted priest. She turned to me and said, "Mr Garfield, what need is there of you making any pretense of denial. You voted for Mr Lincoln--and any man who did that is either a knave or a fool--and I know from your conversation that you are not a fool. You are of the Devil. "You are in a league with death and a covenant with hell." All this she said in the very mildest possible manner. In the same tone I said, "Mrs Foster, I have long admired your talents and many of your positions--but I have as long thought--and am now confirmed in it--that in your heart--your affectional nature you are the most cold-bloodedly vindictive--terrible cruel--unwomanly woman--I have ever heard of--the least in you that indicates the possession of a true woman's heart--"She took it in the same quiet way that I gave it while the bystanders were thunderstruck at these fervent mutual confessions of affection. There is being made a great effort at women's rights this winter. Mr Moore--the way of the Senate will make a report to the Senate on the subject in a few days-- There is a little sensation item in town just now. One of the clerks in the Treasury today broke out with the small pox. He was in the Senate only a few hours ago. There is consideral agitation among some of the members--but I don't think then will anything come of it. The poor fellow was denied a place to stay in the city and has just been sent off to the Poor House--or Hospital as they prefer to call it. But don't be alarmed at it at all--I am, I think taking a place in the Senate which is fully equal-- and in many respects more desirable than my last winter place. I suppose you are in the papers the generalcourse of events - We are really in the midst of gloom - but I believe that God will bring glory and liberty out of it - I have just heard of a prominent disciple preacher who committed suicide in Cincinnati this week under very painful circumstances - I have concluded to [come] go home two weeks from today. I have agreed to lecture in Wellington before a Literary Society and I shall get home on Saturday - I would write more but I must go to a meeting of some political men live my love in every way you can to our dear little Trot. Tell me what time the Exhibition comes off - I will write again before the whole week passes - With all my heart James[*Columbus Ohio*] Hiram Monday eve. Jan. 21. 1861 My Dear Jamie: I have just returned from meeting and my heart is filled with an earnest longing to sit down and talk to you a little while. The few meetings I have been able to attend since Bro. Brakefield came have recalled very vividly some of the first hour of our love while yet its first glimmerings shone only through the windows of the soul, and its certainty remained unspoken Then we often sat down together in the House of God and as we shared the sweet communing of that place how sacred did the hope of your love become to me and form our history memory brings no remembrances so hallowed as those which recall the stirrings of our hears together offer more perfect holiness and their united worship and praise. Our lives were so calm 172then, so peaceful. Jamie dear are we as near Heaven now as then? I almost fear lest our feet have wandered and our hearts grown cold and worldly. Surely I feel to question my own soul right earnestly to know whether I am yielding before the trials and temptations which the years bring or from their learning the lesson of submission to the will of my Heavenly Father which they are sent to teach me: and while I question I will pray for strength to bear and grace to purify my heart. I will pray for you too that in all the turmoil of your life in the struggles of your great heart you may never cease to lean upon one stronger than then. Tuesday evening. Dear Jimmie. I have just receive your last and will finish this. I have taken a cold which for several days has been settling in the cords of my neck and in my throat and chest, and to night I feel weary and sick and wish for the caresses of some loving hand. But- no such hand comes and as a substitute I have beside me a cup of pepper tea from which I occasionally sip a "cooling lotion". Unless there be some vistas in your official position as Legislators which shield you from disease as it does from the demands of Law I cannot for the life of me see how you are in less danger from your exposure to the smallpox than any other body of men would have been: We will not be alarmed for that will do us no good, but I see no reason why we should not feel a good deal of anxiety until we know its danger is passed. I feel anxious all the time about your health. I do wish you could have one good rest that might bring you around to the condition that a man of your constitution ought to be in. Your interview with Madame Foster was somewhat amusing surely. I think perhaps the lady never received a cooler rebuff and I must confess to a little pride in you that you daredto avow to her the truth concerning herself. Womanhood need not be allowed her as a shield if she shows no womanly traits. We are glad you are coming home and in our little home circle there is not selfishness that can withhold the sympathy your heart craves and needs. There are some who love yo with no fear of your power. [Luther?] Smith wept like a child when you went away, and after all is not the love and esteem of that good old [?dying] worth more than all the homage which the great can give you. Little Trot is the same precious darling but I am not going to tell you any more about her lest I raise your expectations too much and you be disappointed in her when you come home. Your Partner "Flasens" has a daughter to brighten his fireside and gladden his heart. I am too dull to night to write any of the many things that I had stored away for you so good by and remember that Trot and I are always loving you. Yours fondly Crete. Columbus. Jan 22. 1861. My Dear Crete-- Mr Cox is to leave for home in a few moments--and I will take this opportunity of sending a package to you and Alemeda He has just received a letter from his wife which indicates that she will be confined soon and perhaps before he can get home-- So he goes this afternoon-- I spent Saturday and part of Sunday in bringing up my Correspondence--and studing some matters of legislation-- The small pox arm is not yet quieted-- Prof Monroe was vaccinated yesterday and a number of members of both house are having it done I was vaccinated when I was a small boy--but whether I had better be again-- I am not determined-- You know it is said by some physicians that its efficacy runs out in 7 or 12 years-- But-- don't borrow any trouble about it-- I spent part of the day yesterday with King Collins who was her 117visiting the State buildings-- We went to the penitentery and saw Barnes. His time would be out now--if he had not been so insubordinate-- I lend you in this budget a book-- written by an Irish girl names Mary Ann Gorley-- She is here in town--was once in Pres-- Finney's family-- She claims to be heiress to an immense fortune in Canada & has lawyers employed to obtain it-- Attempts have been made to take her life-- to put her claim out of the way-- The story is in part a history of herself--Pres. Finney is portrayed in one of the characters-- I have not had time to read it--but hope you will so do & tell me what you think of it-- Cox will probably be gone all the week-- So I shall be quite alone and you must write me often-- Kisses and love in abundance for yourself and Frat??-- Tell me of her doings in your next-- Your description of her ?ting for this paper was very fine-- Ever Yours James[*Columbus Ohio*] Hiram Jan 24. 1861 Dear Jamie: I am made so extremely happy by the long letters you send me, and by the reflection that I must be so dear and so necessary to you since you confide to me so many of your little heart and life secrets that I feel it would be extremely selfish in me not to send you one letter equally long and confiding. Hence this preface so that you may not be deluded - by the excessive length of the letter into a a belief that my nature usually so demonstrative has taken on any new excesses. I am activated only by a pride and to allow myself to be outdone.-- We received you package last night. Thank you I think it best that you be vaccinated. Physicians say that if a former vaccination still remains effective, it will not work again and if it does work, that is proof of its necessity. So you will be on the safer side to be vaccinated. 173I received a line from your mother last night. She is coming out here tomorrow. She writes that she has not received any letter from you yet. I am sorry. I fear that she feels that you neglect her, and in the wide world there is no one who loves or cares fro yo more than she does. Little Trot amused herself a long while this evening lying in bed laughing and playing and calling to dada. She wants you to come home. The little creature wins a nearer place in my heart every day by her pretty-cunning ways. and when I think that she is yours-that she is ours. I clasp her to my heart with a wild thrill of joy. I want you to be with her more and learn her little nature. She will love you then and make you happy.-- Miss Martan says tell you that "she don't know of any such body as you." She called here to say goodbye to you, before you left, but I forgot to tell you. Now Jamie dear--- I didn't say it and I am glad. Loving you best of all, Crete.[*1861 -*] Columbus - Sunday, Jan 27. My Dear Crete - I have just returned from Gov Dennison's whithen I went by invitation to attend church with them and to take dinner after church - They are members of the Episcopal Church - and are very regular and faithful attendants. I sat with them and accompanied them in the responses - Though there is much in the service which is multy formal and may be gone through without any real devotion - yet there is much in it which is exceedingly beautiful and impressive. As a system of impressional Christianity - it is no doubt very efficient - I have had a long and pleasant visit with the Gov. and his wife and children - They have a very pleasant family indeed. I think no member of the Legislative [*118*]is on more intimate terms with them than I do. I want you some day to visit there with me. I am sure you would like them- They are quite free from the pomp and stiffness which is usually met with in such cares. Personally I like Gov. D. much better than Gov. Chase--I received a letter from Charles Harmon last night-telling me of the sudden death of their little "baby boy" The letter was full of heart break and terrible grief- Poor Hannah- it will be a severe stroke to her. I fear for its effects on her health and life -Till I read that letter I had never really brought my mind up to the thought that we could lose our dear little Trot- and for a little while a [?] feeling of painful fear was upon me that she might died- and I never see her alive again. Charles & Hannah had Jane to Cleveland and left hime perfectly well. In two days they returned and found him dead. My Dearest Crete. You will be very careful of our darlings little life. I know I need not say it. but this letter has made her tenfold precious to me- I hope I do not appear negligent or indifferent to you- I surely do not feel so. My last letter was written while Cox was stressing to go and he went very suddenly. Cretie Dear- I hope you will be brave and charitable to me. as you have almost always been. I know you will - I ought to have written to Mother I know. I don't know as it is a good Excuse to say I have been very exceedingly busy. but it is true - I will write to her- I expected she would have written to me - Tell her - it is so near the time of my coming home that I will put it off till I return here- I have received a letter from Cox- saying his wife had not been delivered- and he feared she would have a fever which in her condition and general state of health would be dangerous. He said he should not be here before next Monday evening (tomorrow) and he feared not then. We need him in the Senate very much. I am negligent in another matter. I have not called at Ezra's but once since I came here and then but a few moments. I have staid away so long that I am now half ashamed to go - I have put off the time of my lecture at Wellington till one week from next Friday and so I shall be home on the Saturday morning train - You will please senda. carriage for me - I have written a letter to Harry- telling him of the faults that are found with him by the students - I don't know how he will receive it -- I enclose the letter you sent me-as I have not Catalogues here -please send one according to the direction- The writer is [Conydon's?] brother -- Do you remember Lizzie Roberts -at Chester? Her husband. Dr. Fellows of the House - With my love to you and Trot and Mother - I am now & ever Your James Hiram Feb. 8 1861 Dear Jimmie: We are all shut up with ourselves again. The few bright days which give such smiling promise of another Spring have fled before the merciless ??king and indirect of sunshine the air is filled with myriad snowflakes ?? wildly upon the tempest. I think of you more such days as these, and as I draw up close beside the fire with our little Trent?? held close in my arms I feel the great want of you to sit beside me and there complete the little circle which your absence leaves so broken. How I wish you could live with us more. I am always hoping that the time will come when you will. But perhaps this is the precious hope of my life which is ever to be desired me. The cup of bliss my life may never taste. Ah well the 174cold hand of Disappointment falls upon every heart and if it do not crush nor break we may still look up and smile. Little Trot is getting to be such a wild little creature. She gets almost beside herself sometimes, and tow or three nights since you were here I have had to give her head a cold douche before she would grow quiet enough to go to sleep. It is great fun to watch some of her performances. I have been bringing up your scrap-books for discussion since you went away. I thought I had kept all the Journals but several are wanting. All the most important reports are preserved however. Now I am reading the "Scottish Chiefs" and [r??shing] a picture in watercolors. Miss Booth has finished her picture and it looks real nice. Mother is here still and I think I shall persuade her to stay next week. You will write to her very soon wont you? Think how you will feel a few years hence should Trot neglect you so and she can never be more your idol than are you your Mother's. We have just had such a laugh. Miss Booth came from the seminary this awfully biting cold day without her cloak. She said she got past every home and thought how cold she was and concluded she must have worn her light cloak, but on looking down to see. lo. She had no cloak at all. and then the shame she felt at being seen out such a day as this is such a plight was worse than the cold. Mr. Young brought me the money yesterday he was owing you. The interest was $.66. You know my board bill has not been settled yet. I did not think to speak of it when you were here. If I do not got to Warren I can pay out the money I have on hand towards it and not go to Cleveland at present. You will let me know very soon whether it is best that I go to Warrenas I shall want to know as soon as possible if I go. I don't know why I have written this letter for it amounts to nothing. We are all frozen in and I have nothing to entertain you with but my own thoughts, and they are not worth a fig to you so goodbye till another time. Mother sends her best love, and you know that Trot and I love you a great deal better than anybody else. Your Crete.Wellington. Feb. 7. 1861. My Dear Crete. I left Columbus yesterday afternoon--and after I was on board the cars I began to inquire what I should lecture on before the Wellington Association. It was another specimen of the procrastination which so fully characterizes me. When I reached here (7 1/2 PM) a large audience was awaiting me--and I plunged in and at the end of an hour & more I came ashore--with fair success--and $15.00--which latter please note down to our account as a family-- I have been betrayed into staying here over to night and Sunday-- and preaching their dis- [119-A]courses--and so I have stolen away from the family where I am stopping. ([???] Moulton's) and am trying to write a few letters. I was half tempted to take the [morning?] train and go to Hiram, where I could have arrived this evening. I believe my pride had something to do in keeping me from dropping in upon you all about seven o'clock this evening. But they urged so hard that I consented to stay. The Legislature adjourned over till Monday & Cox has gone to Oberlin--By the way--he says his wife is now quite smart and he insists on your going to visit her. I think you had better do so--but I think you had better divide your time between her--and Br Austin's. I think you will find it very pleasant to go to Br. Austin's. I suppose Br Young will have the $21.00 ready for you any time you want it. If not I have some money which Ford paid to Almeda--take what you want-- and be sure to get a very nice dress--& other fixins Don't be timid about its cost--for you know I will be satisfied with whatever you do--that is--if you don't get too sober colors. I am in great perplexity about my subject for tonight--I can't remember what I spoke on when I was here before, and whatever I may think of taking--I have a horrid fear that I had it as my theme when I was here. I am also troubled about going off from Hiram as I did and not seeing Br Wakefield. I hope you said good bye to him before he left-- There is a young lady--Virginia Vaughan--of Cincinnati--boarding at [Bascoms?] who is a Shakespearean reader--has travelled in Europe--is an artist and musician--She is fully accomplished-- and will read in Columbus next Tuesday evening-- Will Trot ever read Shakspear? How is the dear little soul looking and acting now. I am thinking how cunningly she acted when she lay in her little crib, a week ago tonight--Bless her little soul. Kiss her for me--& make her kiss you for me also. My visit home was very pleasant to me--I hope it was equally so to you-- I shall go back to Columbus on the Monday morning train--I was somewhat disappointed in not receiving any word from you before I left--but I shall hope to find a letter there for me when I return. And now Crete My Dear--be brave & love me--and don't think of me as your outlandish but your loving boy Jimmy Columbus Ohio Hiram Feb. 13. 1861 "My Loving Boy Jimmie"- Yes; but a bit untamed. A little of the Rarey talent though could make you as docile a beast as ever came beneath woman's guiding hand. So, beware! for I am quick to learn, and I may gain a power which nature would have denied me.-- Of course you made no preparation for your Wellington lecture, and to hear that your effort was a success caused me no surprise for I have long since put you on the list of the Inspired. [How?] [???] I say this neither to ridicule nor flatter. Whatever you may be to others, or even be in--reality, to your little wife you are a great marvel--[as of] one with a soul full of great and noble thoughts which are ever ready to leap into the words you speak and make them living truths. However I may be feeling--whatever be my thoughts when [175]I sit down to listen to you, at once you unfetter my soul and lead it out into the wide domain of thought, and pierce it through with the clean light of truth until it seems purified from all the selfish dross of time and sense, and if I think of self at all then it is only to feel that I would sacrifice it all to your happiness.--Our little pet has just been holding up her little mouth with her kisses for you. Yesterday I took her into your room and showed her your portrait. She looked up at it very earnestly--smiled and reached out her little hand to it--then looked at me as though she understood it was you, and the fancy that she did was too pleasant not to be indulged. She says pa-pa-pa now very pretty. Of course she does not know that it means any thing but it sounds pretty. I cannot tell you all the cunning things she does for one must see them in order to appreciate them. This morning she tried a long time to pick up one of the figures on the carpet. She would shut her little hand down over it as confidently as could be, then lift it carefully up-- closed--and look to see if she had got it. "Will she ever read Shakspear"? To none but private audiences I hope. Notwithstanding the plausibility of Ward Beecher's reasoning upon the right and propriety of woman doing whatever she has the capability to do I have no desire that our little girl, however much talent she may develop shall aspire to use it publicly. So you have not heard Miss Vaughan what think you of her? How does she compare with Fanny Kemble? It is all business here now. Making out Reports--are you not glad to be away?-- preparing for the Lyceums--Examinations &c. &c. Some disciplining unruly students too, all of which I presume you will hear about from the authorities. I think I will go to Warren the last of next week probably. I wish you were to be there with me. Somehow I dread a little to go alone with Trot. Mr. Austin is so punctilious I presume I shall give his sense of proprieties some terrific shock. I don't think all his notions entirely earnest--still I dislike to come in collision with any one so positive in their own notions as he is.--I think perhaps I may [???] to use some more money than I have by me as I want to get some things for Trot.--another little bill of expense to you Bro. Wakefield left us all as unceremoniously as you did him. He had an opportunity to go home Tuesday morning and left without bidding any one good bye. Mother went home Saturday. We tried to have her stay until the close of school, but she had set Saturday as her time to go and would not stay. I hope you will never let pride be our rival again. Why I love to see you just as much though I see you every hour, and I don't think there is any danger that other people will call you too devoted. The sun is shining again and we are all happy and loving you forever! [???] your Crete.Columbus. Feb 17. 1861 My Dear Crete. Your valentine was received and read with a great deal of pleasure. I very much love to read so jolly and sprightly a letter--and I am quite inclined to adopt a suggestion I have lately seen that letters between intimate friends should be far more reflective of outer life than they are. Now I have recd a letter from Harry--one from Burke--and one from you--and from these--all my Hiram news for a week--I have had incidental hints that some terrible outbreak had happened in the school, but none of you told me what it was. yet we spoke as though I knew it as a matter of course. Now, I am duly [122]pleased and flattered with your compliments paid the "Wellington Lecturer" and to the Senator from Portage; I know he is a transcendent genius but I beg leave to suggest that by pure force of intellect he is not quite able to divine what scamps have kicked out of the academic traces-- and what consequent thunders have been fulminated from the Eclectic Vatican--I trust my friends in Hiram will pardon this weakness--and aid me in making out the details of the "disgraceful affair"--as Burke mysteriously calls it. You will probably remember the article in the "Crisis" I sent you, in which that paper puts me through a severe course of discipline for brining in a bill to punish treason--I have seen a number more of Democratic papers that are making similar attacks--and sadly disparaging my reputation as a lawyer!!! Isn't it mournful? The Cincinnati Enquirer" thinks "Mr Garfield is evidently aiming at election to the Supreme bench"--and in the latter part of his article very [???] speaks of "Chief Justice Garfield"! I have lately furnished some facts and arguments to the Editor of the State Journal-- and he has published them. You will notice the article headed "Treason of Democracy" please preserve--I am also preparing a report on the same subject--I think the Dems-- will not make a great deal by this new pursuit - I have received and accepted an invitation to deliver an address on Washington's birthday - at Delaware College - Having now giving your matters of greatest moment - I will subjoin a few words concerning the President Elect - Of course we had seas of people here - a flood of almost boundless extent - In some respects I was disappointed in Lincoln - but in most he surpasses expectations. He has raised a pair of whiskers but notwithstanding all their [beauti] [???tifying] effects he is distressedly homely - But through all his awkward homeliness there is a look of transparent, genuine goodness which at once reaches your heart - and makes you trust and love him - His visits are having2 fine effect on the country-- He has the tone and bearing of a fearless, fine man--and I have great hope for the government. His wife is a stocky, sallow pug-nosed plain lady, and I think has much of the primitiveness of western life. He stands higher--on the whole-- in my estimation than ever--She considerably lower-- Miss Vaughan postponed her reading in consequence of the general excitement till tomorrow evening--She is a lady of rare accomplishment but is quite affected in her manners--No, I cannot allow Trot to give public readings at present--Please communicate this injunction to the young miss--By the way--I think you had better take her to Bro Robbins when you are in Warren, and get her portrait taken - and I will add - send it to me - I have written to Bro Austin that you would write him and tell him what day you would go. If you go there first he will meet you at Leavittsburgh - Please do so. I mean write - You will have a good time - - Now for a little more "Sans Jacobi" - I spoke three discourses in the Presbyterian Church at Wellington, & since my return I have received a letter - offering me $400 for speaking to them once in two weeks for a year which I decline of course - How and where is Almeda now-a-days? - I have recd a letter from Rancie - Maria seems to be improving - I happen to have a V in my pocket which please accept. I suppose Trot has not picked up the flowers yet has she? With a blessing for you both I am Truly Your James [*123*][*Columbus Ohio*] Hiram Feb. 18. 1861 My Dear Jamie - Miss Marten says the old instrument will not answer any longer and she has been trying to make some arrangement with Will Clapp for their instrument. He does not like to rent it to be taken into the Seminary and proposes to sell it to the Institution, and take the rent for payments until it is payed for. He did not like to make any propositions to you again as he said he had once and you replied that there was no opportunity for it then I told him I would write to you to relieve him from any embarrassment in writing to you and you will probably hear from him in a few days from Connecticut. Another thing I want to tell you about though I presume you will hear all 176about it from other sources. Last Saturday evening there was an election held for Post Master. Mr. Mott by getting the Rapids people over succeeded in getting a majority of votes. The people there have no interest in the Post Office here and the center people feel that it was very unfair that he did so, and all that I have heard express themselves concerning it wish that Mr. Clapp have the Office. and if you think that he ought to have it can you not get it for 'em? Mott and some others have been so unprincipled about it that it seems too bad that he should have the Office. The Lyceum passed off moderately well, and the school closed up quietly. The teachers have decided and informed Elisha [Wells?] that students are not allowed to board there any more. It is making some excitement but the majority of the people [?] the teachers in their course. I was at Cleveland last Saturday - not quite in time to see the President [alas?] but soon enough to fall into the full tide of talk about him, and with sight of some of the "Stars and stripes" which fluttered out upon the breeze to give him welcome. All whom I have heard speak of him call him a much finer looking and appearing man than he had been represented. What did you think of him? I hear his speeches [extracted?] a good deal. They may not be very brilliant nor always models of good taste but it seems to me that the stand he may take in the present crisis of affairs will be of so much greater importance that these minor things need scarsely be noticed in the way of criticism. It seems like such a long time since I have heard from you that I feel as though I had almost lostsight of you, I know you have been very busy during the past week, but I cannot wait much longer. Our little precious is well and as cunning as ever; Don't you [?] to see her? We are at home now, and will go to Warren this week I expect. Harry has decided I believe that Harry has hopes for the future in the way of an heir. Sara's health is very poor and I think perhaps he is correct. I do want some good long letters from you. I hope I shall get one tomorrow and will you not write to me at Warren! Our people send love and [?] and I are yet fondly yours. Crete P.S. Miss Marten will be anxious to hear if you can make any arrangement with Will for the piano.[*Columbus Ohio*] Hiram, Feb. 21, 1861 My Dear Jimmie - Every Tuesday night since you went away - except the one after your visit home - has brought me a letter from you; so if you continue steadfast in your course of writing to me - however guilty you may feel at other times but I may be thinking of some of your evil deeds - you may always let your conscience remain untroubled tuesday nights for then I am thinking there never was such a matchless piece of perfection as you - I have indeed been greatly distressed for your legal reputation but am as greatly relieved to learn that your case has not the hopelessness to be without a defender. But to be in earnest are not those who are trying to ridicule you making great fools of themselves? I don't know of course, but from [*177*] [*Almeda is at home. Harry at Mecca.*] know of course, but from [*199*]what I can see they have no ground for an attack on the legibility of your bill. Such is the decision of your little wife, and she is going to be your brave little champion henceforward and forever - every time - and in everything unless you get too outrageously out of the way. I am real sorry you could not find out all the details of that affair at the close of the term without any further aid. Why couldn't you? It is so disagreeable writing such things. But I suppose I must try and show due charitableness to your stupidity so with a patience almost heroic I will guide you over the ground. The monday night before the close John Streeter was coming past the Udell house and noticing a disorderly appearance of things called at Mr. Yoder's room. He found there in different stages of intoxication - [Grace?] Baldwin Sheldon Beardsley and some others whose names I do not remember. Of course they were all summoned before the teachers the next morning. They testified that they got their liquor of Mr. Norell - 3 pints. Mr. Udell acknowledged that he let Baldwin have half a print of brandy for sickness. Baldwin said he did not ask for it for sickness at all. I cannot tell all that was said about it: but the result of all was the dismissal of the students from school and Mr. Udell from longer keeping boarders. Mr. Udell was inquiring to-day, if you had been written to concerning it. I guess he rather thinks that you will reverse the decision of the other teachers concerning him. But I presume that he mistakes - and that it will be the better part of wisdom for him to leave with as little fuss as possible. The loss of his daughter from classes will be a great affliction - to the teacher! I had intended to go to Warren tomorrowand little Trot is so severly sick with a cold that I do not dare to take her out. Yesterday she had some pretty severe symptoms of croup. We attended to her right faithfully and today they are nearly all gone, still she has a bad cold--coughs and is hoarse. I shall be very very careful of her and I think that in a few days she will be entirely well. If so I will go to Warren next week - not before Wednesday though. so you may direct your next letter to Hiram. Are you coming home at the commencement of next term? I want to see you ever so much. If you should come what would you think of coming or to Warren Saturday and staying until Monday morning? Please tell me all about it in your next. Your "V" came very opportunely. I was afraid I had not quite as much as I needed before going away. Thank you. Don't you think you were rather severe upon Mrs. Lincoln? You were not called on to admire her beauty if she possess none of course, but must you place her lover in your estimation because she loths it! --- Trot and I keep the warmest place in our hearts all for you Your loving Crete We are going to have succotash for dinner tomorrow--Columbus Feb 24, 1861 My Dear Crete, I supposed I should receive the last letter of yours from Warren and now it makes me shiver to think that you are detained by the illness of Trot - I cannot endure the thought that that terrible Croup should be so near her little life. You will, I am sure be very careful of her - Still I hope you will not be obliged to stay away from Warren - It would be bad not to go now - Mr Cox is quite sick and his cold has given him such a fever that I think he will not be able to be in his place in the senate tomorrow - But it is nothing very serious for he has attended church & we have been reading nearly all day - I must tell you of [*124*]a Killing thing that occurred this afternoon - Miss Vaughan is still here - She read Monday Evening but she has so much affectation in her manner the her performance must always be a dead failure. We have read together Several Evenings - and she finally told us she had a manuscript novel and a volume of poems she was about to publish and requested we read them and give her our opinion and criticism - So yesterday Evening we read a few chapters of the novel & to-day we finished it. Her advantages in Italy - living two years in the same house with the [?] and a companion of Harriet Hosmer the celebrated American sculptress - have been very fine & she has a good deal of native talent - but the affectation which appears not only in her manner and tones - seems to have filled and vitiated all her modes of thought. Her novel was finely written so far as its literary mind is concerned - but her [heart?] affectation of attempting the Exquisite makes her plot strained, unnatural and ridiculous - So Cox and I read and laughed immoderately at some of the scenes and characters - We made comments freely as we read and laughed uproariously at the whole thing - Just as we had finished the book - a tap at the door leading into Mr. Wright's room was followed by the Entrance of the Enraged Authoress herself We supposed the room empty as Mr Wright & his chum were gone - She had heard all our talk and fun. She sailed into the room - demanded her manuscript and was about to throw it intoThe fire when we interposed and saved the precious document from the flames - The scene that followed - I will sometime describe to you - After it was over - Cox and I - went on a walk - and when fully out of hearing - we broke the Sabbath by unseemly levity - But we placated the lady - and she seems this evening to be in a good flow of spirits Please put down to my credit $18.00 received for my Delaware Lecture - and a charge of 75 cents for mending my overcoat - from a tear received on the trip. Do you think I ought to be at Hiram at the opening of the term? I don't know whether I can conveniently or not. Why dont Nellie write to me this winter? Tell her to do so Remember me to Frab[?] in whatever way you can [?] do so or we hear from you after Ever Love James[*Columbus Ohio*] Hiram Feb. 27. 1861. My Jamie Dear- I am still at home. I had my arrangements all made - and Trotty was so much better to go to Warren today but last night receive a line from Mrs. Cox telling me that two of the children had been very sick and still needing almost constant care also that her kitchen servant was sick, and that my visit would be more satisfactory to us both if defferred a week or two. If it were not for little Trot I would go now and help her take care of her family for she must be having a hard time. but as it is Trot and I would make more extra work probably than our help would relieve her of. Trot is very much better: still she coughs a good deal and I presume it is better for her at home. The little snip almost kills us sometimes. About a [*178*] [*Thursday morn. Father has just come home and says father Smith is dead. You will get a dispatch today but as they do not expect to bury him until Saturday or Sunday you will probably get this before you come. Crete*]week ago she commenced squinting and sniffiing up her little nose. Of course [she} we laughed at it and now she diverts herself by putting us all in convulsions a dozen times a day. She makes Nell her special victim and I believe you would die to see the little scamp perform with her. she will sit up straight and look as demure as a little priss - then when she gets Nellie's eye she will tip her little head on one side and make on of the most ridiculous comical faces you ever saw- Of course we laugh in spite of ourselves and she will draw down her face into such a serio-mischievous expression - look around at me and perhaps give some other one of us a salute then turn and watch Nell for a chance to make another attack. Just now she has waked up and is sitting up in bed with Susan and Perlie and Nellie laughing to kill themselves at her performances. The little thing is developing a great many new talents now. I suppose you would not believe me if I were to tell you that she has learned to call [?] , and I hardly believe it myself; but she will look after the oldest and whisper poo pp. The days are very fine now and we take her out to se the chickens and horse and calf. She looks blank astonishment at them all. I do so much want you to be with her that you may become so much a need of hers as I am at least. -- About coming home at the commencement of the term I do not know how much you may be needed, but I presume you may be called home even before that. Father Smith is very low, Father has gone to watch with hime to night, and they do not think he can live longer than through tomorrow. It is uncertain however he has lingered so long-- The scene in you room last Sunday evening furnishes me a very amasing picture on which my fancy regales with great gusto. The "enraged anthorea" offends great delight, but I especially enjoy the pesturbation of the two Honorables. Do - was good for you - you wicked fellows that you were so nicely caught, though I must confer my distaste for the manner of discovery. - Nellie says she knows she promised to write to you - but she dislikes to write first: - I have not seen Harry since the term closed, but he was at home monday night and did not seem very enthusiastic over our prospects - so says Mrs. Northrup. I rather suspect you Nell is not very remarkable. So much for pecuniary comfort to you. I am not complaining a bit but you don't know how much I would love a letter a great deal oftener, any little incident of your every day life would interest me and will you not favor me with a great many more? How soon do you expect to adjourn? Lincoln is safely at Washington and if he be feasably inaugerated will you not be ready for adjournment very soon after [?] loving CreteColumbus. March 10, 1861. My Dear Crete. I have staid [home] home from church today in consequence of having been this morning seized with a violent diharrhea which has rendered me unfit for [divine?]--but assiduous in an exceedingly human service. And so between my frequent journies, I am regaling myself with the "Citizen of Prague"--a German tale of very great [???]--Cox has been away to church, and I have enjoyed the real luxury of a quiet home alone-- As it came out I might just as well have staid in Hiram till evening as to have spent the whole day in Cleveland, for the Columbus train was half an hour [125]behind its usual time of starting - I did not take the sleeping car and so had a dreary fitful jolting sleep - interrupted by horrid dreams - We have had the Legislature at work in earnest and have a prospect of getting through sometime though I have no present means of knowing when. I am very anxious to get through, and to be in the school again. I hope soon to hear how it has started up, for I greatly fear it will be small. I care far more about the name of having a small school - than the lack of money it will occasion. In regard to the whole question of my remaining there, I wish some bird of the air or good angel would tell me what is best - To stay involves many unpleasant consequences - and yet it is very hard to break away from all the associations of the Eclectic This I could manage, if there did not lie such a hazardous and uncertain future before me. I am not at all sure that the profession of law will suit my nature and task - I may loath its weary details and long - again for a work which has more to do with the good of others and the unselfish aims of life - If hesitation to make the decision is a mark of an inferior mind - then am I indeed inferior - And yet I must decide very soon after my return home if not before - Write me your own thoughts on the whole subject. And how is our little darling Trot? In the "Citizen of Prague" there is much that reminds me of her - & gives me the strangest mingling of hope and fear concerning her future life. How much I long to have her grow up into such a consciousnessthat I may feel the rebound of my own spirit upon hers--and a recognition of that regard of a child to a father which has always been such a mystery to me--I believe there is in her the material for a noble womanhood if you and I can only become skillful architects--and build rightly--A hundred kisses from me--to be divided with her. I bought a pair of pants at [Dans?] of the same kind and price as Harry's which I ordered sent to him by Express--Tell him about his--Did Charley receive his Testament? Can't you prevail on Nellie to take lessons on the Piano? Do--I will cheerfully pay the tuition if she will do so-- Tell her to write to me-- Kind remembrances to Bro Smith's family--With bowels that yearn and head that aches--I am Ever Yours & Trots--James[*Columbus Ohio*] Hiram March 14, 1861 My Dear Jimmie - For once the mail disappointed us and your letters were not received until last night. I am sorry to hear that your trouble of last winter has returned. I was hoping you would escape this winter - and to think too that you should put off on so serious affair one of your long eared puns!! I received a line from Miss Cash Tuesday telling me that her family are well again and inviting me there this week so I am going tomorrow. I can remain only till Monday and think now that I shall not probably visit at Bro [?'s] Consequently have not written to them. Little but precious little darling - grows prettier and sweeter every day. She does not creep but manages somehow 179to get most any place she wants too and get hold of whatever best suits her little fancy. A few mornings ago I left her in the middle of the floor and went down stairs. Father went up a few moments after and found her by the wood [?] with the tongs pulled outside her lap, and she was going through the process of making a little donkey of herself Father said she dropped the tongs and looked up as kind of a scared when he went in as though she knew she had been in mischief. She has two little teeth now and from the bad humor she has been in for two or three days past I think there may be more cutting. I am glad to hear you talk as you do about the little creature. It seems to me there is no earthly relation so beautiful as that which exists between father and daughter. The tender delicate loving protection on the part of the one and the entire trust and affection of the other seems the perfection of all that is most noble in man and most loving and confiding in woman. Warren Friday eve. Trot cried so last night that I would not finish your letter so I brought it with me, and now in Mrs. Cox rooms with little Trot kicking up her heels on the bed. Tell Mr. Cox he has one of the brightest keenest looking little babies here that I ever saw. Kenny was very unfortunate to day. He went out to play with clean apron and all and came in with a good deal of the native soil attached to his garments. His mother said he must go so until night and when we went out to supper he was sitting up at the table with the tears running down his cheeks. His mother asked him what in the world was the matter. "Why, he said, I have got to go looking so all day". Little Charlie is manly looking little fellow. Not a bit behind Kenny. Mrs Coxsays I must stay next week and I wish I could; but I must go back Monday I suppose. I have two classes in French - a beginning class of seven. I do hope you will soon be through with your Legislation. There is need of you at home in another department of business. The school is starting up more encouragingly than we expected. It numbers now 160. I wish I could tell you your duty in regard to staying longer at Hiram. It does not seem to me best however unless you can devote yourself and your time more to it than you have done the past year. I think the feeling that you are not much interested in the school is doing it more harm now than almost anything else. I do not mean this unkindly Jammie I know how much you have on hand, but I cannot bear to have people think that you are in anything slack or neglectful, and I have been almost afraid that some which think that of you in regard to the schools. I am very much of the opinion that you will not be very entirely satisfied with love. - Charley received his Testament, and Mr. Rhodes went to Cleveland Saturday and got his pants. They are very good and nice. I have not been very good to you since you went away last, but perhaps you had not thought of it and I must not have put any such idea in your head. Hoping to hear again very soon. I am ever all your own. Crete.[*Columbus Ohio*] Hiram March 17. 1861 My Dear Jammie: I feel as though I had not treated you very well since you were last at home and lest you may grieve over it too much I write this second letter so soon - this is every reason be assured why I am so surprisingly good. Now don't you feel comforted! Mrs. Cox and I are congratulating ourselves on our good time with our seven little ones so full of so much exquisite enjoyment of which you poor lone men are deprived. We were thinking today how delightful it would be for you could you exchange places with us just for one day and night even. Our great love for you and desire for your enjoyment would prompt us very willingly to forego our constant unparalleled pleasure for a little while that you [*180*]might be the glad recipients. But really we are having some rare sport with these little new specimens of humanity. Little Charlie is a great genius. This morning he came in and sitting down very demmely made the following reverent remark "I swear I'll go to heaven". He and Kennie have great quarrels over little Trot. Each claims that she shall be his wife. I have concluded to leave the decision of it to you and the young lady. You I suppose will give Kennie the preference, but she seems rather to incline to Charlie unless he gets too near. He is quite determined to hug and kiss her whenever the fit takes him, and she is just as determined that he shan't, and as she can't run she flies to woman's only other refuge - a squeak. I promised to go home tomorrow morning, but Mrs Cox insists that I shall not - and besides Miss Zoo hasn't my dress done, yet and so I have most decided to stay perhaps until Tuesday morning I may go tomorrow afternoon I feel as though I ought to. We went to day to hear Masley Lanphere. I felt disappointed in him. I have heard him spoken of as a man of a good deal of talent, but he made some of the most blundering ludicrous expressions I have heard from the pulpit. For instance his introductory statement was concerning his great embarrasment due to arsold which affected his niece. During his sermon he addressed "my friends and fellow citizens" and then he told us of the tears on the cheek of beauty - and these things for an old minister, I thought altogether too bad. You are letting so much about the "Citizen of Prague" - I hope you will bring it home - and you know you spoke of getting an Italian Grammar. I wish you would I would enjoy so much studying it with you. I do hope you are not being so just as not to write to me to day, and I hope will be merciful enough to come home very soon. It Trot had not so many other gentleman at present to be interested in she would probably send some love to you. I will send all mine though so good by dearest, your own CreteJames A. Garfield Politeness of Mr. Cox.The State of Ohio, EXECUTIVE DEPARTMENT, Columbus, March 19 1861. My Dear Crete. I was indeed disappointed in not hearing from you, but now your two good letters have made amends. I was in Cleveland all day Saturday - but was there on political business and every moment taken up. I came back on the night train. The excitement in regard to the election of Senator is intense. Cox and I have espoused the cause of Gov. Dennison, and are bending all our energies to secure his election. Three successive night - I hardly slept at all - Two of them I did not even go to bed - So on Sunday I wrote no letters to any one, but kept my room - and bed most of the time. Last night Mrs Bascom's mother died - and today noon, Mrs B. and Gustavus started with her body to her home in Vermont. She was 79 years old and on Sunday was struck with palsy - and since then could swallow nothing. It makes the household very sad.... The city is thronged with public men The venerable Thomas Ewing is here. also John Sherman, Robert Schenck and a crowd of other celebrities. Tomorrow evening we go into caucus again and expect a very fierce and excited. How long the contest [*126*]will last--or how it will come out we cannot tell. I feel greatly distressed in view of the prospect of being detained here three weeks longer. I do not now see how we [I] shall be able to get through here sooner-- I really don't know what to do with my classes-- Would it be so that you can take--one or two classes? I don't know as it will be possible for you to do so--unless you can get some one to take care of Trot. I feel keenly what you say in regard to the opinion that I am losing interest in the School. I have feared there would be such an impression, and I am aware there is some reason for it. Indeed, I suspect this fact is what causes my feeling in the matter. I am glad you told me of it. I will try when I come back to reverse the tide of sentiment on that subject. I am glad you have had such a good time in Warren. Little Kenny is a noble little fellow, and indeed all their family are smart. I fear Cox and I would make a poor out of it--taking your places. Have you recorded in Trot's book the advent of her two teeth?--I want you to keep a full record of all the era's in her life. She grows so gradually that we shall not know where the points are unless we write them down often-- I have been waiting here for the Governor and there are several talking around me. Kiss Trot & Yourself & Your James*Columbus, Ohio* Hiram March 21, 1861 My Jimmie Dear-- I have just received your letter snatched from the great pressure of business now crowding upon you, and am very greatful. I [first?] was fearing that I must wait until after another Sunday before hearing from you again. [Gr????] in this morning's paper we see that no election of Senator had there been made. Jamie dear don't let your determination to succeed with your candidate urge you to any step which could in any way be a source of regret. I would [sooner?] for that you never receive one political honor than that with it you gain the reputation of a political intriguer.-- It is very hard that you must be away so long. Your classes are not those that I can teach: and the teachers are dividing them 181among themselves fearing to put them in the hands of students lest there be dissatisfaction, and it is going to be a great tax upon them. I feel more and more the need that you concentrate your power more. However much executive talent you may possess yet it must be limited and I do not believe it possible for you to be faithful to so many interests. By the way I guess I will send you a letter from Corydon's Mother just received. She laments your fall into political life most pathetically. Though I feel inclined to laugh at some of her [???] still I guess the letter will do you no harm.-- I returned Tuesday morning from Warren. I was not at Bro. Justin's at all and only saw him a moment Sunday. Their little boy was lying very ill. The physicians thought his case almost hopeless. I have heard nothing since I came home and hope that he may be better. Our darling is still the same plump healthy little body--growing fast now and becoming quite intelligent. She is becoming very much attached to Miss Booth and very anxious to get into her room. I think she is a sufficient reflection of her father to give me occasion to be a bit jealous, I own it that very tender sentiment under sufficient provocation.-- I send you little Trot's picture. I had it taken by Mr. Leroy. Ought I have gone to Mr. Robbins? Mrs. Cox went with me and preferred Leroy; and I felt that politeness demanded that I be directed by her. I like Mrs. Cox whether Mr. Austin may say. She talked very freely to me about a good many things--of which I will tell you sometime. One thing she said of Mr. Cox which you have so often said--that he is so undemonstrative. She said "how I have wanted some little word some expression of his love. But I have learned that deep down in his heart there is a great wealth of affection and I trust it." I cannot at all believe the report you heard of them. Mrs. Gage is to be here next week. Mrs. Cox tells me that she has some peculiar views, which I presume will not meet with your entire approbation.-- I met A.S. Hall on the street one day while there. He recognized me with a very gracious bow. I felt quite a desire to talk with him, and see how far he had developed into the man I once hoped he would become. -- Now Jamie you will write me a good long letter next Sunday wont you? We poor wives are always loving and thinking about our husbands, and it seems a trifle hard if we cannot have at least a thought or week bestowed on us. I just saw a cute little thing of Barry Cromwell's where a lover says to his adored "If thou'll lend me a grain of that same precious heart I'll pay the back with tons of trouble" -- and I think it about as perfect an expression of the return we get for all our love as can well be conceived. Please give me again the items of your expenses and receipts going back to your Delaware Lecture. I have forgotten them. Yours with all my heart Crete.[Columbus Ohio] Hiram March 25. 1861 My Dear Jamie-- I am not in any mood to write tonight--and I would not were it not to get another next week--Tuesday-- from you. I feel troubled and dissatisfied. Dissatisfied with every body and every thing especially myself. I'm an enviable state of mind surely--you say--Well say as if you choose. It will not make you any happier and me not half so happy as would a little word of sympathy and encouragement. But I shall get nothing to night either of love or reproof so I might just as well have turned my [???] kaleidoscope until a bright figure appeared as to have [stitched?] down this ugly one. I have been trying very hard for the last few months to gain the mastery of my soul so that all its troubled waters shall grow still at my command; but they will rise into [182]turbulent overwhelming waves sometimes. There I have written off half my bad feelings already. Holmes has it right in his Professor's Story where he says [that] "so long as a woman can talk there is nothing she cannot bear". By the way I have just finished that story with Mary Staneter. It is the most fearful fascinating story I ever read. Such a strange mingling of blood freezing tragedy, and real genuine comedy. Scattered through it is also a great deal of scientific theorizing and philosophizing extremely interesting. Mrs. Gage is here. She came to day and is staying with us. She occupies Miss Booth's room with her and just now I heard her snoring horridly. Poor Almeda will not sleep a wink to night I am sure and it is too bad for she is extremely tired with the great amount of labor she has to perform now. Sarah Mason is dead. She died last night. We have known that she must die soon still it is hard to give her up. Dr. French's oldest little girl died last monday with Canker Rash. She died very suddenly only two days from the time she was taken sick. Her Father and Mother almost worshiped her and it has almost killed them. There is a great deal of that disease in towns around here. Our little Trot keeps well and I hope she may. The bright little creature is getting to know so much. She is trying to say some more words. To every thing that pleases her she says pretty almost as distinctly as you can, and she has learned to combine different sounds so that to a person in another room her little prattlings sound like real talk. She knows a great many things we say to her and will look up with such a little intelligent face that one would think there is nothing she didn't know. It was a great slander for you to hint that there was any design in the peeping out of that characteristic cover of embroidery.You want to know how she acted while having her ambrotype taken. Why she acted just as any little lady should Set up and looked at the instrument with the utmost of baby propriety. To be sure she was inclined to throw up her little hands and kick out her feet but Mr. Leroy said she behaved the best he ever knew a child to[o]. In the course of two or three months I will have another taken and send to you as a present you will want to see her and there is no hope of your getting home. I hope you will try and come home for a few days during commencement week, All whom I have heard express themselves concerning the election of Sumner as Senator are better pleased than they would have [of] with Dermson. I suppose you and Merlons have reasons for liking the position you took. I see from the last journal that you have introduced your bill for the regulation of weights and measures; Your most Loving Crete. Dear Mr. G. It was a wee corner only, that I begged. but good generous "Crete" has given me all this to write a name that begs a place in your memory. Mary A.Columbus. March 26 Sunday P.M. 1861 My Dear Crete Last evening I recd your welcome letter - and the cunning ambrotype of our dear little Trot. I have spent a full half hour or thereabouts looking at it. I can't conceive how in the world the little creature kept still long enough to secure the impression. It is very perfect. There is a dead-in-earnest serious look - that I have never seen on her face before. I presume the novelty of the operations is what what caused it. She seems in the picture to have grown a great deal since I saw her last - You must tell me more about how she acted when it was taken and also write the account of it in her book. I see she has begun to acquire the female 127knack of showing a little strip of embroidered skirt. Did you fix that so on purpose? I suspect you did. I am glad you have visited Mrs. Cox. She wrote to Mr C. that she feared you did not enjoy your visit among so many children. If you have reason to write to her for any purpose - drop in some remark about your visit. I hear from another source of the sickness of Bro Austin's boy. I fear he will not live. I hope they will not feel slighted by your not visiting them - Well we have been beaten in the Senatorial Contest as you have seen from the papers. But those who beat us did it by numbers rather than by generalship & said to me afterwards it was the victory of the Persians at Thermopylae. I appreciate all you say in regard to political contests, and I am glad to assure you that our advocacy of Gov. Denison was acknowledged on all hands to have been honorable as well as able Indeed we should have succeeded had there not been a general feeling that Kirk would have been a poor substitute for governor. We are now busy with week the closing work of the Session - but we cannot hope to adjourn much before the middle of April. I have received a letter from Mrs Flint who visited us last fall. She wants to be remembered to you. Mrs Fuller is in a terrible plight about me. I shall write her in a few days. I guess she will live through it - though she means well I have no doubt. I have writtento Coydon to come here & I will go with him to Vinton Co and try to get an editorial position for him. I received a telegraphic dispatch yesterday from him, from Parmesville - He will be here next week - Probably he will visit Hiram before he comes - I am anxious to secure some place for him. I am very sorry to be kept away from the school so long - but I can't help it - It is a great burden upon the teachers to have so many classes - I am well acquainted with Mrs Gage personally - though I have not heard her lectures - She has spoken to me about going to Hiram - & though I don't approve all her notions - I want you all to hear her and get acquainted with her - I hope you will invite her to our home - and have the teachers pay her some attention - Love to you and Trot - JamesColumbus, March 29. 1861 My Dear Crete. Until the last few hours I have intended to go home in the morning with Corydon - but he has come to secure a position in a newspaper- and I can do him a good service by going to Vinton County with him, and helping to purchase the paper- But I cannot be gone so many days as to leave both now and then. So I have denied myself the pleasure of visiting you all - and have determined to bring up my work that is so far behind - and [*128*]thus be enabled to go with Corydon. In my last letter I forgot to send you my expenses from the Delaware trip J recd. at Delaware 18.00 My Expenses to Cleveland 3.00 Pair Pants 7.50 Household Book of Poetry 3.00 Bill at Printing office 5.80 Contributions 4.00 Romance of Irish Girl 1.25 My trip home was balanced by what I received of William Smith - I want Coydon to feel at home, even have a good time at Hiram - He heard in Chardon and had heard in Michigan that I had become an inveterate brandy drinker!! a variety of other similar - pleasant news - of which I will tell you when I come. There is now hope that we will adjourn two weeks from next Monday, the which I fervently hope - With much love I am Trot's & Your James.[*Columbus Ohio*] Hiram March 30. [*1861*] My Dear Jammie- Corydon has just been here and left your letter. He looks just the Corydon of ten years ago. It is very pleasant to meet him again and we will do our best to make his visit a happy one. We feel real sorry that you did not come with him, or rather that you could not come home to stay now. I am terribly tempted to call the Honorable Body the worst name I can think of and if you would save yourselves the disgrace of such a brand you had better adjourn [instant?] and fly to your home in hot haste: for patience is fast losing its virtue. Little Trot keeps me away from the Lecture this evening which I very much regret. I don't know when I have been more [*183*] We have been hearing something kind of funny - Cant tell you now, Mrs. Gage says she likes you from the acquaintance she has had &c &c Yours Crete.delighted than last evening. Mrs. Gage's subject last evening was Cuba and it seems to me I have scarcely ever heard a speaker [?] whose discriptive talent exceeds hers. She seizes on just the points which shall bring out her picture in its most vivid lights, All her embellishments are simple yet most beautiful and her style of speaking so unobtrusive that you entirely forget the woman in the subject she is handling. We enjoy her stay with us very much. She is extremely social and compassionable, and altogether a very remarkable noble woman. The Woman's Rights sentiments are based upon such broad views of things that you can feel no contempt for them although you may not agree with them, and if women like her had had the control of that movement it would not be so deserving ridicule as it has become in the hands of those who have been most conspicuous. I am not sure that you would not become a pretty thorough consort to the heresy were she to take you in hand awhile. Harry has been in one of his trying moods since she came. He got the impression somehow that she would give a free lecture one evening, and he has acted quite determined that it should be so. She [?] [?] left it for us here to decide, and all but Harry thought that considering all the circumstances it would be no more than right that she receive pay every lecture. But he had got into one of his perverse fits and it led to so much talk about it that it was really mortifying. We had our way about it though, and I guess she will do as well here as any place she has yet been.-- Sunday--I have just been having such a laugh at little Trot. I heard her making a funny noise and looking saw she was blowing blubbers, She was entirely absorbed in it and finally blew one so large that it came out so she could see it. She jumpedand looked up so half scared that I had a great laugh at her. Mrs. Gage said the moment she looked at her, O she looks like her father. She is just as cunning a little witch as she can be, and makes a great deal of sport for us. Her little teeth are getting quite servicable. She eats crackers and apples holding them up and nibbling like a little squirrel. She doesn't suck her bottle any more but [hol] eats bread and milk and drinks milk out of a cup like any other body. She says she don't believe but that her papa would bring her a nice little silver cup or something of the kind to drink out of if he knew how well she can drink. Now Jamie don't you feel kind of sorry that people tell such stories about your drinking? and more - do you believe they would tell such stories about you if you were real careful to avoid the least appearance of the evil? I know there is no truth in the real story, but it makes me very unhappy sometimes that there is that time which gives appearance to it. And don't you think now that you would be just as happy and have more self-respect were you to take a firm unyielding stand against every thing that even looks towards drinking? (You know what I mean by that word, and you needn't try to twist me into some absurdity.) Thank you for the golden eagle Coydon brought with all my heart your Crete.Columbus, April 7, 1861 My Dear Crete. The morning after Corydons return I left with him at five o'clock by stage on our way to Vinton County. We went 45 miles down the valley of the Scioto through a most lovely country. I realized again the pleasures of the stage coach days - We reached Chillicothe at one & at two took the cars & reached [Mc?] at five- After doing what I could for Corydon, and opening negotiations for the paper - I left next day at noon and after a railroad ride in a circuitous route of 200 miles and reached here at three o'clock the next morning- I cannot yet tell - what will be the result of our effort but I hope he will [*129*]get the paper. If he does I shall have to sign with him or lend him one or two hundered dollars or both. Our work here still drags. It will be two weeks now at least before we shall be through. I am becoming very unhappy [?]view of my protracted stay. I have seriously thought of resigning- but I should not do justice by our district were I to do so & so I must stay through I think, however, the school is going on pleasantly and well. Mrs Gaye I am glad to know gives it a good name. She has not yet returned to Columbus- but I have seen her letter in the "Field Notes". You speak in your last letter, sent by mail, that your hours of sadness are many, Indeed so are mine. Never did I feel so sadly- and almost despairingly over my future life as I do at times this winter I can see no one course, which does not have valid objections to it and none which when taken will not cause me deep and poignant regrets. There is much in political life that pleases me and much that I shrink from. And in regard to public life of my kind I begin to feel perceptibly growing upon me that distrust of my fellows which years seem so inevitably to bring upon us all. There are moments when a weariness of all public life comes over me with wonderful power, and I long for a happy secluded home with a small choice circle of friends around me and the great world shut out- But I know my restless nature so well that this picture brings no permanent joy for were I possessed of it. I should straitaway sigh for the finer activities of life - I've nothing else before me but choose a path which I know is thorny - and tread it as bravely as I may. I do hope I shall have fixed an even & irrevocable course before our little Darling shall be old Enough to see my vacilliation of purpose - I would have her love me as a strong steady man of purpose & decision - I trust my Dear Crete, that you who know all these things may not believe me the frail man that I might seem - Do you suppose that real strong men have such waverings - It pains me but let us have courage - and we can both be better & stronger for it. Kiss the precious girl for me - Are you writing in her journal? I [wish?] you would sometimes put into it a word from some of my letters so that she may know I thought of her when here - Fondly Your loving JamesSent Croydon $20.00 Expenses to McArthur 3.00 129-12[*Columbus Ohio*] Hiram Apr. 11. 1861 My Dear Jamie How it calls up the memories of the olden time to sit down to write to you again. What strange unexpected events old father Time brings about. Who could have dared hope that you would even think to write again after a whole week and a half of silence. Indeed I think it one of the most conclusive proofs of your superior retentive power that is you did not entirely forget that you had any wife and baby. It cost me a great deal of raking through the debris of memories to find the one which told of a husband once possessed. and I would modestly ask that you do not-- in view of my humble abilities to remember-- leave me to such forgetfulness again. Just think what might have happened under favorable circumstances!! [*185*]I was real glad though to hear from you again and I know that you are mine. It always makes me glad and happy to know that; and Jamie dear I did not intend to give you the idea that I am often very unhappy; for it is generally far otherwise. The uncertainly of your future course sometimes makes me feel that we sort of adrift upon the ocean of life but I would rather be there with you than safely moored with all the rest of the world on the best one you can pick [?]. If we are have and strong we will outride the storms and in the right part cast some anchor. I do not think your present uncertainty any mark of weakness or fickleness. It seems to me due to our circumstances rather than to any lack of decision on your part. For our Darling's sake though - as you have said I would hope that we might soon gain some surer footing for the future. We must talk of these things when you are at home again. I do hope from Cleveland with you when you come! You will find them at the German [???] store on Superior st. If you get one with a Willow basket, I would rather have it of Brown than of White Willow. The will stain it for you if they have more stained.-- Mr. Spencer is here now. The other day he sent me a fine photograph of himself with the word that he presumed you would lift your cigar with it. I have not been in to his class to see him yet but intend to tomorrow. The school is doing well still it seems to be the prevailing opinion that your absence keeps a good many away. How far it is really [time?] I don't know. Your friend Holland Brown gives it as his wise conclusion that politics is interfering altogether too much with the school. I almost wish you would resign and come home the Legislature is getting such a bad name this Winter. I suppose people don't know much about it but there is so little show of anything done that they will like the liberty to find fault. Hoping that we may see you again sometime and hear from you often until then we remain fondly yours. Crete. What think you of the war rumors?Columbus. April 14. 1861 My Dear Crete, After a long delay I received yours of the 11th. Indeed Crete, I have not omitted writing to you for a week and a half at any time since I came here. My trip with Corydon, did however break into my custom to some extent - But surely you were joking in the first page of your letter - My memory is quite Excellent. I remember that I haven't heard from you for nearly two weeks till last night - Ain't we even now? My whole effort to get a place for Corydon has proved a failure - We found numerous obstacles in the way When we reached McArthur and he remained several days [*130*]after I returned, but accomplished nothing. He went from here to Mishawaka, Indiana-- hoping to get a place in an office there. Put down as a memorandum $35.00 which I lent him. I have been quite well for the last week, but the work & exciting news have made me exceedingly tired today. I can see nothing now before us but a long and sanguinary war. The wanton attack on Sumter and the surrender of Maj. Anderson can result in nothing else than general war. When I see the outrageous manners of the Democracy, and the timid and cowardly course of many of the republicans it makes me long to be in the strife--& help fight it out. It seems to me, that even in the revolution-- there was no greater need of men to stand by the country and sustain its authority- - -A resolution has been adopted by both branches of the Legislature to adjourn on the 23rd. I very much desire to get away by that time, but I fear we shall not. The war news is causing great excitement--and I presume we shall be kept a week longer. Now the little dear Trot is creeping about the floor! Is it a new trick? You have said nothing about it before. I will get her a willow cart when I come home. Does she attempt to talk any yet? It will seem so very strange to hear her. Do you think she will remember me when she sees me? I guess not - I had a letter from your father a few days ago - in regard to the Theological Department & my staying another year - I Have answered the letter. Who is moving in reference to the Theol. Dep ? I wish we were so situated here that you could come down and stay the rest of the term - It would be a great pleasure to me. I have felt so all winter - but I knew that with Trot it could not well be done - If I should go to Congress - we would move there for the winter (Isn't this a fine specimen of unhatched chicken?) Cox and I are spending all our leisure time in reading military science - and the Campaigns of Napoleon and Wellington - I will try to write a letter to Trot as soon as I can. The little grump - she don't care anything about me - Kiss her though - and write in her journal for me - Please don't fail to write - to Love James[*Columbus Ohio*] Hiram Apr. 18. 1861 My Dear Jamie - I begin to suspect that the pleasure of writing to you is to be mine here forward to any date however distant you can imagine. Every letter for the last six weeks has contained an implied promise that in about two weeks you would come I am not going to find fault but I feel just wicked enough to day that I suppose the Legislature feels itself disgraced already by its long session and thinks to get all it can now out of the Public Treasure and there is no hope of ever getting another chance. There I know the label you will put on this, and if I had thought soon enough I wouldn't have said it because it is policy for me to make you believe me a gentle little creature. The Papers are filled with war news now and I suppose the excitement [*186*] be attended to immediately you had better write the names of those to whom you would present the public and we will try and attend to it, and then send it to you. Do you know that Friday is my birthday? and will you think to read my chapter for me? Hoping to hear again soon Yours ever Crete. is running high at Columbus. Some of our school boys are waxing warm for fight and we scarcely hear anything else talked of. But to me it is yet an [unwe? ] sound. My ear is all instrained to the call of the battle trumpet and I cannot realize that its summons can ever reach our homes. and the thought that it may I cannot give a place to yet. Could I ever buckle on your armor and with Spartan bravery sent yo away to the Strife? I am afraid these poor eyes would be too filled with tears and my poor heart too full of breaking. I think I have a little patriotism, but your safety is so much dearer to me than the nation's glory that I hope my unselfishness may never be put to the test. --I must give you a specimen of the little grump's gumption- She was sitting in my lap just now eating a cracker. She bit off a piece in such a shape that part of it was out of her mouth. But her hands happened to be engaged so she turned her little mouth and pushed in the cracker against me. She does a dozen just such cute little things as that every day showing that she is beginning to think and reason about things, and she has learned to do a great many amusing little things when she is told. She talks - but it is almost all with her little one word "pretty". To everything that pleases her she reaches out her little hand and says "pretty, pretty. Whenever she is taken into your room- she bestows her special admiration on your picture. I try to teach her to say papa to it, but she persists in saying only pretty; so you see she has learned to appreciate your charms. Wallace says she is the prettiest baby in fourteen counties. Wallace is doing first rate now and I think there is no doubt the debt will be paid. In regard to the starting of a Geological Department. I do not know very much. Harry Jones was here and said that it was discusses at Revanna during the Preachers meeting. Dr. Robison takes hold of it very enthusiastically and they think that Dr. Shepherd can be obtained without much doubt. Their project is to get $10,000 subscribed as an endowment for it which--with what may be paid him for preaching--will furnish a sufficient salary to induce him to come. Bro. Jones said he wished you would be contented to stay here and make the school what you might. Regarding your congressional prospects, "O.P." says that you will be a terribly defeated man if you attempt to oppose him!! He bestows upon you the following [???] "Garfield has an interest everywhere in the church and out of it.--every where but in the Kingdom of Heaven,"--You may go to Washington though notwithstanding his opinion and thank you for your promise to take me with you. I want to go , and be with you enough to keep a place beside you in society. I am too proud altogether to be contented to have it said in the social circle at least, "Mr. Garfield has a wife," but no one knows how or where she is. The school is doing very finely this spring. The only fault that can be found is that the teachers are working altogether too hard. Enclosed you find a letter from [???] Hazen as we did not know exactly what to do with the petition accompanying it. Perhaps it will be soon enough to attend to it when you are at home and if you think it necessary you can write to Hazen its occasion of the delay. If however you think it ought toColumbus. April 28 1861 My Dear Crete. I have been too busy over the whole of the past week and even now, though it is Sunday evening I have but a short time which I can snatch away from work. I left Ravenna on the evening train Tuesday and finding I could not make the connection at Cleveland--I stopped off at Newburgh. Saw mother for an hour--made a speech in the village to a large audience--and staid over night at John Clapps. I reached here Tuesday forenoon--and on Thursday went to Cleveland to help organize two regiments--Returned Saturday morning. Cox has been appointed one of the Brigadier Generals--and leaves [131]tomorrow morning at five o'clock to organize a camp at Loveland. He takes about 1200 men with him. It now appears probable that I shall be elected Colonel of the 7th Regiment now at Cleveland. If so I shall probably be ordered into camp before the week is ended. If not--my military history will not begin just. The more I reflect on the whole subject--the more I feel that I cannot stand aloof from this conflict. My heart and hope for the country are in it--and I could do no justice to the every day duties of life. I found in the camp a Cleveland--a company of Oberlin boys--more than half of them were students. Charley Bowler & [was] W.D. Ringland were among them. Win Capt. was a Theological student. I am every day impressed with the character of the men who are going into this war. A few days ago--there came a company from Ironton on the Ohio River. They were mostly members of a Methodist Church in that place. When they reached here--there were no quarters for them in the Camp and the Senate House and Supreme Court room were already full. They were obliged to sleep on the marble floor of the rotunda. Before lying [on] down for the night they gathered into a corner, and held a prayer meeting. Their officers led in prayer--and they sang finely One song was "I'm glad I'm in This Army"--Ungodly men who looked on were moved to tears. and one old fellow said to another who made some sighting remark--I'll whip the first damned man that makes sport of them-- Such men will fight. I shall know in a few days my own course. It seems a month since I was at home Do write me soon and fully of al that is in your heart and also of what is passing on around you--The state of the times makes me think of my private affairs. Has Dr. Manly paid up that note?--How much money will you need for the next three months. Please give me an estimate in your next How has the war affected the School this week? I say J.K Rudolph and our Solon boys at Cleveland. Kiss Trot--dear soul--and receive my love Your JamesHiram. May 2. 1861 [*Columbus Ohio*] My Dear Jamie, Glad welcome we give to hiding from you again. How the hours of the last week have lengthened into days and the days into weeks until it seems that the time should he counted by month rather than days since you went away. The excitement here her partially cooled down so that we are comparitively quiet again and the school has fallen back into its usual good order. The news are watched very closely though, and the people are awake to the necessity of preparing for almost any calamity the threatening conflict may bring. Last Friday the town's people assembled here for training - the men for drill the women and children to lend inspiration - from their eyes. Think of Uncle Simonds Rider and father [*187*] [*I love you papa*] [*Father saw Mr Burmister a few days after you were here and he spoke almost sadly of the oppisition he made to your election he said if you were ever candidate for another office there would not be one in town would not vote you.*]trudging around for two or three hours to the tap of the drum, each keeping his own time - as Miss Booth said of the company. [Several of] The students have formed themselves into a fine company and already the begin to show a good deal of skill in military tactics. They have had two or three battles which were quite brilling to look at. Some of their maneuvers in a fight remind me of a game at chess. I suppose for a while the battle field will be your chess board. From the last night's report it seems very doubtful though whether you receive the appointment to the Colonelship and if not what will be your course then? From the paper we learned of your departure to Illanois in arms (?) I shall want to know all about your success when you return. As the coming contest becomes more and more a certainty to me and the thought comes home as a truth that you must mingle in it I do not feel at all as I thought I should. If our Country calls you I feel real brave to say to you go; and I confess Jamie I am most troubled just now about a little thing which I did not intend to say a word about because I know so little about it yet: but I know you will forgive my haste in speaking of it when you know that its entirely due to my care for your reputation. It seems to us that in your ambitious and headlong - perhaps - way of doing things you have shown too great a desire for a desirable place in the army. It may be that you have not felt or shown so much as it has seemed to us, but I am so exceedingly jealous of your name before the world that it cause me a real pain to feel that you have give the least occasion for one to say of you he has not taken the most honorable course. I know that with all your ambition there is in your heart a desire to donothing which could in any way compromise your dignity and manhood and I cannot bear that any indiscretion of your impulsive nature should bring upon you the odium due to an office seeker or any other unworthy aspirant to power. Some of the mysterious things you have written too about your Illanois trip will make me feel troubled in spite of my determination not to judge you until you tell us all about it. Pardon all this panic. I should never have written it did I not love you. Several of the boys have gone to enlist, among them Jac. He cold not wait to hear from you so went to Burton with Elias Ford last Saturday and enlisted in one of the Georgia companies. The last we heard however they had not been ordered into camp and there was a possibility that they would disband. Little Trot tumbled out of bed this morning. I was making the fire and had forgotten all about her when - bang - went something on the floor. I looked around there she lay curled up in a little heap on the floor. It did not hurt her but scared her some. I inquired at the store to day for the amount of our bill there. It is about $32. My board and the room rent together with what I pay for taking care of Trot up to the close of this term will be $49. besides what you have already paid and the last ten dollars you paid was Kentucky money [*and not current here. These two debts will amount to $78. besides the $10 he wishes you to change. My personal expenses I will make as slight as possible. I presume that $20 more with what is yet due to me for teaching will suffice.*] [Marilyn has not paid. In Jan - sent a [?] for $4.20 which I paid and received a receipt for a few days ago. Do write to me as long a letter as you can and write as often as you can. Loving you much Crete.*][*Nashville Tenn 20th Brigade*] Hiram May 24 1862 My Dear Jamie; By the reminders to which again "the peach tree lifts up its handful of fragrant blossoms", and my thoughts wander away and away through the years to the spring time when first we sat here together. While climbing the steeps of life there are occasional spots on which my foot rests and from which my eye beckoned turning catches beautiful glimpses of those elysian fields peacefully resting in the rosy light of our love's early dawn and overthrewed love to linger and from their dim obscurity fashion bright visions of hope and of promise, pointing away into the future Ah. Jamie how full is the heart of hope [*188*]of love which it can find no words to tell, and if finding would never dare to speak. The spring is opening gradually. To day the bright pink peach blossoms are nearly all out and the air is fragrant with the bursting apple and lilac buds. The woods and the fields are putting on their bright liveries again - brighter and more beautiful it seems to me than ever before as though to strengthen to us that promise of the Resurrection morn which alone can awaken to so many their loved. And when another year shall come with opening leaf will this wild work be ended and pease again to our borders be restored? How long must we wait? Do you know it is almost six months since we last saw you? And what do you think your little precious girl has grown to be since then! I would give a world that you might hear her little prattle and find her little lips putting a kiss on your cheek and her little arms around your neck-hugging papa. I ask her if she wants to see papa, and if she loves papa she says yesth - sometimes yesth mama. Her yesth [?] and her no mama - (downward inflection on no) are very funny. Sometimes she says "papa come home [?]" Then she will put her little arms around my neck to show how you will hug her. She runs out of doors now a great deal And way out to the barn alone to see the cahs (cows) hoh (horse) and doo[?]lles - guess what they are and comes in to tell me what they say, and can mimic some of them very well. Yesterday Miss Booth and I were at Cleveland and saw Dr. Robinson just returning from the adjourned session of the Legislature. Prof. Pendleton and family were at the Weddel on their return from HelenKing's wedding. She has married a Georgian, formerly a secessionist - lately became a unionist - both in a political and marital sense - probably the former for the sake of the latter. We visited the Aid. Soc. rooms and were greeted very cordially for your sake met Miss Brayton there who said she saw you at Pillsbury Landing Mrs. Rouse spoke very highly of you and said you were her hero, and that she had sent you a little box of needed articles by the [??] Too all of which I expressed my sincere gratitude. Jamie I was very proud of you yesterday [I must stop right here and tell you what (??) is doing. She has got a volume of Tenyson on the floor and is getting on to it and jumping off. I asked her if I should tell papa what she was doing and she said very (??) no mama. I find your praise on all lips and not a few grow very enthusiastic over you. Even here where there were always some to censure when you were at the head of the school, and who thought Harvey such a saint - these same men find enough to blame in Harveys doings and talk of the justice and goodness with which Pres. Garfield would manage affairs if he were here. After all the world's praise or censure are too fickle to be of much worth One's own consciousness of having done right is worth far more. Ever your Crete. Miss Booth received a letter from you three nights ago. Keep writing. Perhaps we will get there after awhile. Crete. Columbus. May 5. 1861. Miss Dear Crete, Last evening I received your good letter. The first word I have heard from him since I left here, two weeks ago. The rapid succession of events has made this past fortnight seem more than a month long. I am exceedingly gratified and my mind much revlieved to hear that the school is swinging back again into its usual orbit. I have been fearful that it might break under the strong outside presence. Patience is now among the prime virtures and the whole country should learn to practice it - I returned from Springfield on Wednesday evening - having undressed myself only twice during a whole week - But before I detail any of my doings - I will vindicate myself from the mysterious suspicions which are giving my dear friends [*132*] [*I will not spend any time with this now. But I am glad you spoke of it and I want you to tell me fully of any reports or manners which turn a suspicion upon my course. I know and appreciate the spirit in which you wrote about it - and I thank you for it - I should know soon the outcome of the whole matter - Give my love to all - and kiss Trot a hundred times for me Ever your James*]anxiety about me. I don't remember what I said in my letter that should give you an idea that I was using any means not quite honorable to secure a good post in the army. If I used any expressions which indicated any such thing they were unfortunate and did me injustice. In the first place I do not put about this matter, as I do about ordinary offices. To seek a place of usefulness in the army seems to me, rather meritorious than otherwise. When I hear that Ben Wade, John Sherman A.G. Riddle - and other men of that character have enlisted in the ranks I say it is done for bun combe, and is an unmanly piece of demagogism. I should ever regard it so in myself. I know the time may come when it might be the duty all men of every class to go into the ranks or to take any other position where they can in the country - but that time has not yet come. I looked the field over, and thought if I went into the army I ought to have at least as high a position as a staff officer. My friends thought so likewise, & generously offered to aid me in obtaining such a position. The Governor would have given me one state higher if he had had me in his gift - I went to Cleveland for two purposes one, to see that the Reserve was fairly represented in the regiments to be formed. The Gov. sent me for that. The other was to see whether I could honorably obtain the Colondcy - I accomplished the first - and for the second. I met with favor from all the companies I saw. I should have been elected before now, but for my absence to Illinois - The Gov. of his own accord - delayed giving the order for the election till my return -While I was gone, Tyler of Ravenna whom I had aided in various ways and who had told me he would aid me in the election - turned in and offered himself as a candidate and by bargain - and brandy - got an informal ballott by which he was elected - But the regular election has not yet been held - I do not know how it will turn - I may not be Elected - but I shall do all I can justly to secure his defeat - for he has acted treacherously - Several Cleveland men have been doing what they could for me John Clapp is now here - and the 7th Regiment will be here this afternoon - I shall, if for no other reason - [th?] to defeat Tyler - go before them as a candidate - My trip to Illinois was wholy on the Governors war business - and was not only no part of my own interest - but if I fail - that trip will be the whole cau of it - For it gave T. a chance to say what he pleased & he was very unscrupulous - I am not conscious of any act in the whole m [and] which I would not willingly have known - Tell Burke I will secure those military [boats?] for him as soon as I can - The market has been emptied & they have been wanting for supplies [*Columbus Ohio*] Hiram May 9th 1861 My Dear Jamie 0 To day adds another of warm sunshine and quiet to the few which have cheered us this cold cloudy spring. It has seemed that the woods would never grow green again nor the flowers come again to greet us. The peach tree which has each spring before filled up to our window its wealth of beauty and fragrance reaches up now only a meager handful of blighted leaves. So far all the early vegetation which has escaped the blight of the cold wind has had the black seal of the frost put upon it so that there is little save the grass to remind me that the season of verdure and blossom has come. If some of the wild speculations concerning the results of the present conflict which the abolitionists indulge should succeed I should hope 189that our home might sometime be in the sunnier clime of our fair south. --Thank you for the explanation you have given of your contest with Tyler. It was not in my mind nor do I think it was the thought of any one that you had taken any course that could be called dishonorable. still all we cold learn from the Papers and also from several private sources was that Tyler was the popular candidate on account of his superior Military experience, and the delay of the Governor in giving orders for the election, together with the statement that pirates would be allowed to vote when the order should be given and as the treachery and unfair dealing of Tyler were not known, it placed you before the public in the unpleasant light of desiring a place for which you were not so well fitted as your opposing candidate and for which you must use all the means in your power, and if gained would be only over a large minority. I have just learned from the night's Paper that the Legislature thinks of adjourning to day; but I have so little hope that they will that I shall send this. I don't know but i out to send on your summerwear. I see [the?] some of the Senators are sending for theirs. If I did not dread disappointment so much I wold yield to the pleasure of hoping you will be at home this week. If you get the Colonelry will you not come home at all? I thought perhaps the election had taken place before this and that we should get the report of it in to night's paper. Since Tyler has taken the unmanly course he has I hope you will defeat him: but I hope you will not go away into camp without coming home. Joe has gone into the [Geanga?] company and is now at Camp Perry Painsville. He writes that he enjoys camp life very well so far. He still wants to go intosome company of your regiment if you get the colonelcy. Harry was at [?] last Saturday and 'imbibed' so much of the war spirit that he said he felt quite like enlisting. The teachers are holding a commencement meeting this evening. The Lyceums and Miss Morton's concert are going through the process of preparation the same as though there were no war, indeed it is very quiet here and very little to remind us that there is any disturbance in our country. There are a great many little things to tell you about if you ever come home. For now only a word more about our dear little baby Trot. She is not quite well now - came nearer having the croup last Sunday night than ever before, and has a bad cold now. I was going to tell you of her amusing little performances but have no more room now. So you must come home and see her The little precious you don't know half how we love her yet. We all love you and say again and again do come home. Yours ever Crete.JOHNSON HOUSE G.F.R. WADLEIGH, Proprietor Cleveland June 14 1861. Dear Crete I returned from Columbus last evening. Harry & I go to Bedford this afternoon. I go to Wheeling tomorrow shall be early next at home Army question will be decided by that time. Have only time for a word— for the morning train is just off— All is well. Truly yours James 133Detroit. July 30. 1861. My Dear Crete- I have been quite well with the exception of my arm. I have not been able to write scarcely at all--and each motion of my [???] now gives me acute pain But still it is much better than when I left you. I found, by John, that a letter had come from the Dr. and was sent to Monmouth on Monday-- but the [???] of the Post Master kept me from receiving it. I reached Chicago in the evening and the next morning left on the propeller for Milwaukie--where I arrived at noon. At 4 P.M. I took the boat for Grand Haven--which I reached at 10 1/2 P.M. It was somewhat rough--and for once I was sock and vomitted. It was hard to be sick alone--but I [134] If you can't check baggage through from Princeton to Detroit--you must ask the conductor to aid you in the transfer at Chicago-- I hate to have you come alone. James. was sick but a short time. I went on to Grand Rapids--and next morning went to visit my uncles. I had a good visit--and at two o'clock Sunday morning I reached Muir--and found Dr. [???] Jones and Austin. After a brief visit we came on to this place. I very much wish you were here now. I should be greatly inclined to go right on home--but still I hardly feel as though I ought to [???] by and not see the Port Austin friends. A boat goes out to night--and I go on it. I cannot get back till the next boat returns It arrives at Port Austin on Wednesday Evening or Thursday morning and leaves on Sunday. That will bring me here on Monday. If you could be here on Monday Eve we could go to Cleveland on the evening boat--but I think you cannot do that--without leaving on Saturday-- I think therefore this is the best plan--You leave there on the midnight train--Monday night--or I believe it is at 2 o'clock Tuesday morning--and come directly through. It will give you a stop of an hour in Chicago--and bring you here at 6 o'clock P.M. when we will take the evening boat. This will cause me to wait a day and night at Detroit--but I will accept the invitation of Bro Horsley who lives on Woodward avenue--and who wants us both to stop and visit him. Now let me be definite What I have written on this page is written with the belief that [you] there is not 2 o'clock train Monday morning--from Princeton. If however there is, I want you to take it--and it will getyou here in time for the Monday Evening boat. Have John find how this is If you can start there you may reach here an hour before I do & in that case I have agreed that you will call at Bro Hawley's I enclose a card of direction--& you can order the omnibus to take you there. Now if this last plan can be adopted--I want it done. If not I will await you for Tuesday evening. My [???] and you are both tired of these details. Give my love to Johnny and Mattie--Dr and the whole company here send love. I have been very lonesome without you and our precious little Trot. Kiss her for me a great many times--and kiss yourself for me in the glass With much love I am ever your James.Cleveland. Aug 14. 1861 My Dear Crete. I have concluded to go. Shortly after I arrived--I went to the Telegraph Office--and sent a dispatch to the Governor saying I was ready to go, and asked him if I should leave on the next train. It is now past eleven and I have not heard from him. Probably from the lateness of the hour, he failed to get my dispatch. The reason for my asking him the question was that from the tardiness of my response he may have concluded I was not going--and have filled the place. If I get an answer tonight I shall know, certainly, all about it. If not--I shall go to Columbus in the morning, and stay if I am still wanted. I presume there is but little doubt but that I shall stay [go]. So far as I am concerned, it is settled But I have arranged to send you a dispatch from Columbus--which is to be sent out in the bundle of papers on tomorrow evening's train. See that the boy gets it. In that I will let [135]you know the final result. Until that time--I want my absence left entirely within the circle of yourself and the teachers. Let there be no hint of its purpose. Concerning my decision--you know how much of a question was before me. The only new view since I left home was the bad news from Missouri-- and the slowness with which accounts come in. In case I am not needed I shall come back on the first train and be home Friday morning. In any other case you will soon hear from me. With kisses for yourself and Trot for more than a day--I am Ever Yours James. P.S. You need not send any clothes till I write you again. J. Tell Harry the substance of this--and send the enclosed letter to Dan. J. Cleveland. Aug. 15 1861 My Dear Crete I have spent the morning in writing letters--and have not much time left. I have written a short letter to Mother and I want you to write her again soon. I hope you will see that your father and mother do not think that I went away recklessly--and without reason. I intended to see them, before I left but was so hurried that I could not. I should have left you some money if I had thought of it when I left-- but Harry owes me some--and you can get it of him till I see you again. I want you to have the Piano taken special care of--for I fear it will get injured in that room. You [will] had probably better make no change in regard to our rooms and board till I come home. Please see that my books do not get scattered and lost. Send word to Mr Beardsley of Freedom--by his boy who is in school that I may not be able to meet the appointment to speak at his place--and [136] he had better not depend upon me. I don't know what my regiment is yet nor whether it is yet formed--or where it is to go. I shall write to you soon after I arrive and learn something. You must write me often. I shall want to know all that transpires. I have found Letty Robison here on her way to Detroit. I must hurry for I have but little time Love for Trot and you as Ever James.[Columbus, Ohio] [Ag 15 1861] Dear Dear Jamie I cannot write much to you to night--Thoughts and feeling to which I can give an expression torture and bewilder me until I grow faint and powerless and my heart with anxious doubts and fears seems to be bursting, full. But I will not talk of them. I am glad those terrible hours of torturing suspense in you have passed and you can lift up your soul again to energetic actions. I will hope and pray that the counsel you have taken may be the right one and that you may so guide yourself in it that you may find in the loss "again to match; concerning all the directions you have sent I have tried and will still try to give them good heed. I send your trunk to Garettsville tomorrow [*244*] This morning's light has brought back some of my bravery and my heart beats a strong response to your desire to go into the fight.- I will be brave and not think of the long hours of separation before us but work with a goodwill for some good which shall bring back a blessing to me when in peace we can sit down together again by our own fireside. You will struggle, dear favorite, not to let the wild scenes of the warrior's life wean you from the quiet joys of social and domestic life or destroy your taste for all those pursuits whichmorning. Your winter shirts are getting very thin; but you will want flannel when you go into Camp - which shall be made as soon as I receive orders from you. - Also some new sleeping shirts. I think people are not generally surprised at your course and quite probably will soon come to approve, but how desolate it seems here: how forsaken every thing looks as the thought comes home that your guiding hand is withdrawn. Dear little Trot has been calling "papa papa" all day. Every time she has heard a step in the hall she would call our "papa" and go jumping away to meet you. and when she saw it was not you she would turn away with such a disappointed look that it made my heart ache. Dearest Jamie write soon often and long, and believe me ever loving you better than all else. Crete. Friday morn I forgot to put you Bible in your trunk but [?] [*have heretofore been your delight. The sacrifice would be all too great should you return forgetful of all your former aims. My single half sheet is running over so goodbye may God bless and keep you my own darling Jamie Crete.*]Camp Chase Aug 22 1861 My Dear Crete- Your good letter was received Saturday night, and the trunk came at the same time. I am not very well--being still hard pressed with my usual malady. But I have commenced to taking medicine, and I think it will relieve me soon. Before I write further I wish to apologize for the looks of this letter. I was suddenly called on to act again as office of the day for today--and came away here--leaving my pen at my quarters-- and so must write, if I get in time for the mail, on fools cap and with this old steel pen. I was very thankful for the many little comforts you had enclosed in the trunk. I find them all coming in play I will not say much more about my feelings in leaving you and all the dear associations at Hiram--not the least among which is our darling little Trot--but I will say that while I shall at all hazards keep up my heart and work with my might in the duty before me, I shall nevertheless feel very greatly the need of such full and frequent letters from you all as shall make me constantly feel the full knowledge and sympathy of you all. And our, darling! tell me all about her--her changes--developments-- and try not to let her memory of "papa" "papa"--fade away. Have her say it--do that when I come she may know to call me. I think I have no unmanly feelings in regard to the future and my [139]own share in it--but I have more I address at the thought that should anything befall me she would not remember me. I know how a child feels under such circumstances and that by experience. Please copy these last few sentences in her journal. And now with these lugubrious thoughts we will dismiss all that style of talk & look at the bright side which is always the right side. I am entering in the work of the camp with success--and shall hope to be able before I leave to be intelligent and efficient. It is a little odd for me to become a pupil again, but I [move?] into it easily--and have no fear of any disastrous future in [learning?] duty. I think I must have a lot of flannel shirts, but you may wait until I learn more about what style will be needed. I want you to have the piano seen to and as good care taken of it as possible. I must receive at least $15 per [term?] for the use of it--over & above the expense of [tuning?] I cannot now tell how soon I will be at home, but probably in two or three weeks. Perhaps Wall had better see if Mr James will not pay the note of $50. I want to let the larger amounts lie at interest as long as I can. Since I began this letter I have probably given a hundred orders. Among the things held a trial and sentenced a sentinel to 3 days imprisonment on bread and water for sleeping on his post. Kiss Trot for me and get her finger marks on your letter in some way if you can. Ever Yours & hers James[*Columbus Ohio*] Hiram Sunday Aug. 25. 1881 My Dear Jamie: Not until last night did I receive the letter from you looked for and desired so much through the whole week. It makes me very anxious about you to learn that you are still unwell, and I fear very much that the exposures and necessary irregularities of camp life will prove exceedingly disastrous to your health. You must try and be just as careful as it is possible\ for you to be, and I think you ought to be more particular about the kind of medicine you take than you are inclined to be. Cowles says that the physician of their Reg. gave them a great deal of calomel when they were sick. Some of them were sent out on guard directly after in the rain. Consequently had very sore mouths. Don't let anything of the kind be done to you. Has not homeopathic if you know how anxious we are to hear from you and all about you - With reports very often. Don't forget to tell us concerning your health. I think of you very very often and wish that I could do something to relieve the tedium of some of your hours. With a loving heart I am good as ever Crete. treatment generally does well for you! Little [?] has been almost as much troubled as you for the past week but is better now. She doesn't forget "papa" yet but every little while her little bird voice pipes out "papa". I believe she thinks about you a great deal. She called your photograph "papa" the other day without being gold, and she begins to call you whenever she sees anyone looking at it. She has just waked now and is sitting on my lap eating a piece of ginger bread. I guess I will have her put in her mark here. "Papa." I put the pen i her hand and guided it for her and she looked very much pleased. I cannot tell all the cute little things she does which would please you to know. I can scarcely feel reconciled to have yo away from her. I want so much that you should know all her little cunning ways and love her for them, and that she should learn to love and trust you more than all else. Dark and desolate as all my life would seem were you taken away from me. I don't know but I should feel it more for her than my self. But I must not talk or think that you may never come home to us again, it blinds my eyes with tears and fills my heart with hurting. You will come safe to us and bless us with your love and presence, and our darling will know all the sweet joy of having such a a father as you may become to her. I will try and look on the "bright side" and be brave for your sake too, for firm and dauntless as is your spirit I know you will love the strength which the hopeful hearts of friends can give. If any reliance can be placed in our Papers the prospects of the South are darkening, and it may be the war will end sooner than we had dared to hope. Augustus is here to day and has just told me that there has been a petition to the Gov. circulating through Panama to give you a Colonelcy. I asked what the feeling there was now towards you. He said "all right". That the petition was signed by every one almost. It was presented to "O.P." but he refused his signature. Augustus says Tyler is losing somewhat in popularity - that there was a letter in the "Commercial a few days ago - by the way we (Almeda & I) do not get the privilege of reading the Com any more. No matter, only it is a little funny and a little more provoking - giving a pretty hard account of him. My Mother is (Never fear to trust the Right) and I really believe that when one man, or set of men, through pure envy and malice - try to destroy the reputations of another they will find eventually the ruin they would work brought down upon their own heads. Almeda and I were at Cleveland yesterday. We [had] did not have very much business, so had a pleasant time. We thought about you and wished O.so much. that you were with us. The pick nick at Freedom which you were invited to attend came off yesterday. Harry went but I have not been able to leave yet why it came off so soon. Harvey has an heir - of what gender we have not learned He is not to be here for a week yet - if then The teachers are having a hard time. I have one class in French and two pupils in Drawing. The music class is not very large and I think there is not more than nine or ten hours of practice on the piano. I practice on Miss Morton's instrument - as it is so much more convenient. She said she should not make any charges. When you will again tell me if you will want sleeping shirts, and I can be making them now. It will be a great pleasure to be doing something for you. I hope you can stay at home some time. We have not heard from Joe Jorgesongton but a letter in one of the late Heralds says that they are marching back and it is believed its their Reg. that they are to be ordered back to Camp Chase. Love JamieCamp Chase Aug 31 1861 My Dear Crete Your last was recd. in good time but it would seem that you did not receive mine till several days after it was sent. You had better direct to Camp Chase--and they will come here without delay. I am much better than I was when I last wrote. Indeed I am now almost entirely well. The water here is chalybeate--or strongly tinctured with some other mineral and is almost as laxative as Hygiene pills--so I drink as little of it as possible--and use cold coffee instead I am having my first experience in a woollen--and it is the first time I could ever truthfully cry "Enough" on the subject of scratching. [138]I think, however, I shall get used to it before long. I wish you would overhaul my woollen socks, for I shall take them with me. I also shall need a pair of sleeping shirts--made large around the neck--and considerably longer than those I now have. While I am in the way of making requests I will ask you to send copies of the J. T. Smith funeral discourse as follows. Mrs Anna Spencer Buck Creek P.O. Kent Co Mich. Also on to Mrs Calista Skinner same place. Also catalogues to Jerry--and William Boynton Granville, Kent Co. Mich. Also catalogue to Eben R. Ayers, Port Austin, I wish you would enquire the price of soft flannel and estimate what shirts and drawers will cost so that I can see how much will be saved by having them made at home. I think it will be well to have Mother come out to Hiram to help you make them up if we conclude to have them made at home. Then the Hon. O.P. would not sign the petition. Well I am very glad that I did not want him to sign it. Indeed I did not know that such a move was on foot. Don't think the petition has been received at Columbus but may be it has. I am now broken into the work so that I get along very finely only I ought to have my regiment here and under drill. Have you seen the horse yet that Ford has bought? I am fearful it is [???] a good deal of money into a target. Still I want a good horse. I am practicing a good deal in riding--and am getting some skill. Does Trot walk yet? I want to see her move about by the time I come home. Bless her little Soul, how I want to see her. Tell Nellie to write me. If I knew where Joe is I would write to him--but I do not. The news of the defeat of the 7th casts a gloom over every body. Tyler is greatly blamed for being taken by surprise. Perhaps however he was not in fault. With love to yourself & Trot I am Ever & Ever Yours James[*Columbus Ohio*] Hiram Sept. 6. 1861 My Dear Jamie: After a great many revolutions of feeling and uprisings of wounded pride I have decided to write you a letter this evening. Not that you at all deserve such a remembrance or in the least desire it unless it be to hear a word about your darling Trot or learn something concerning planned. The little precious is well and beginning to "toddle" about. Yesterday she got up alone from the floor and was mightily pleased about it and so continued to get up some twenty times or more. Several times she bumped over on her nose but did not cry at all and once she scrambled up and rubbed her little nose as though she thought it was [*191*] Mr. Sprague has been called by Gen. Freemont - to report immediately at his headquarters - concerning his new billet I suppose. Crete. Miss [Merton?] sends "a bushel of love."receiving a little harder usage than was comfortable. Your Mother has been with us for the past week and she says frequently of ?rat as she sees here ???nd????? "She is a chip of the old block". She does not forget to call "papa" yet. This morning as soon as she opened her eyes she looked around and called you. She was dreaming of you probably. I have taken her to Miss M?rtan's a few times lately. So she draws up to the stove hearth occasionally with great dignity and begins ?? to through it with the tips of her little fingers and sing one of her baby songs. she goes off out-doors alone digs in the dirt picks up little stones & c...One day last week there was a tub of water out by the west porch and just before supper Mrs. Northrup heard her little come pat patting up ?? the door. She looked out and there was the little rogue just as soaking wet as she could get herself. She had washed her face and wet her hair and had a nice time generally. she has found that Grandma will do almost anything she desires and it is very funny to see her tease and coax her. When she wants anything she reaches out her little hand with the fingers in jus the position you put yours in one of your graceful gestures you make sometimes in speaking. They have no flannel in the store here and will not have until near winter so I authorized Wallace to get flannel for two pairs at Cleveland for I am very sure that they can be made much cheaper and better than you could get them ready made. Mother will stay and help me make more than two pair of you need them. Nellie received a long letter from Joe this week the first we had had for a long time. He is still in good health and spirits - was at Glenville when he commenced the letter but finished it while on the way to Weston. Write to him if you can and direct to Weston. The region about Glenville has been full of secession squads and their co. was out on a scouting expedition - One day he was one of the advance pickets and while they were scouring the woods he got lost from his party and was alone sometime. He saw no one however and came out all right. ---- Now Jamie dear however forgetful you may be of those you have left at home always do think of us if you do at all bear it in mind that you have no truer or more anxious friends, and however mindful you may be of us, no hour passes here when you are not thought about and loved. Miss Booth has written twice to you once sending a draft for $25, and has not received even a "thank you" for it. Yours most kindly Crete[*Camp Chase Columbus Ohio*] Friday morn. Sept 20. 61 My dear Jamie, My feelings and judgment are utterly at variance this morning. My desire to go to you today - to see you and listen to your voice once more in dear old Portage before you are away to the war - is almost beyond control, but when I think of the little time I could see you - of the few unsatisfactory words you could bestow upon me and of the final "good bye" and the long dreary ride home with all that unutterable anguish of "alone alone" called up to crush my heart anew I decide to stay at home and give myself up to the quiet work of housekeeping. Your company is still filling up here You will have a company of home [*164*]noble boys and I know you will be all to them that they can desire. All my thoughts and feelings are with you desiring only good for you and may the Lord God keep you from all harm and evil. I hope to see you at Columbus before you go away until then take the best care of yourself. Did you see Dr. Wilcox? You must have medical advice. Don't say no, Smile that is well and happy as ever. Loving you and thinking of you all day to day and once and a while every other day I am Your Crete Write, please do, as soon as you are at Columbus.[1861] Columbus. Sep 28. 4 oclock A.M. My Dear Crete- I hope I shall not again as obliged to delay writing to you so long as I have done this time, but I know you will not blame me when you know what I have had on hands. This is the third [morning] night that I have have passed in succession without regular sleep. When I reached Columbus I worked incessantly for two day and most of the nights to get my regimental quarters in condition--and to get blankets-- and other comforts for the boys. Before this was accomplished other companies began to [form?] in. We now have five companies in the regiment--and it has been the hardest work of my life--to secure the necessaries for their comfort. I have dragooned--and chased down nearly every state officer--and at last--started--on Thursday evening-- (not having gone to bed at all the night before) for Cincinnati--where we had made requisition for all our stores. The articles were not in the ware house of the QuarterMaster--and so I went to the contractors one by one and appealed to them--and at 10 1/2 o'clock last night (having ridden to Cincinnati the night before--) I took the train and am here waiting for the carriage to take me to camp. I think I am right in saying I never was so tired in my life. I never tried to write before when my hand trembles as it does now from sheer exhaustion. But the unprecedented rapidity with which my regiment has been filling up has given me much harder work than I shall have by and by. So please don't be troubled about my health which excellent--except the occasional pressure of the old trouble Dr Wilcox did not send me the medicine. I don't know why. But I will try to get some soon. My surgeon will be here Monday--and then I promise you I will try to attend to myself. I was greatly disappointed at not seeing you in Ravenna--but then as you said--it was such a crowded day that we should not have had much quiet for visiting. I hope, when I get into camp I shall find a letter from you. Indeed you must not fail to write if I do. I assure you my heart is with you all the moments I have any leisure to think. The boys are all well except Charley Raymond who has been quite sick. Chiefly because he was terribly homesick. He has not been sworn in yet--and I have concluded to send him home as soon as he is able to go. I think I shall get arrangements soon to have you come into camp and stay a week or two--Probably [???] Clapp will bring his wife also. I will let you know when the teachers and friends of Co. A. had better come down. We have established our Regimental mess--and--were I not too weary I would describe our Cook--and meals--but for now I will stop--Give my love to all our friends--[???] Mr Polk for me. Ever Your James. [*Columbus Ohio*] Hiram Oct. 1st 1861 My Dear Jamie: I have not once blamed you for not writing sooner for we had heard how rapidly your Reg. was filling and knew how driven with business. you must be: but I did blame myself last night when I read the hope contained in your letter that you should find on reaching the camp a letter from me. I blame myself for letting my self-love forbid me to write to you because I felt that a letter form me would be of so little worth to you. I felt how much more generous it would have been to have yielded to the impulse which was constantly urging me to pour out some little offering of love in a letter to you which would have 192 [*Wednesday morn. I have just sent five letters in an express package being sent to your Camp. A letter from Joe a few days since says he talked with Gen. Rosencrans about being transferred to your Reg. and he told him he thought it could be done when you were ready to go into service. He thought you were Lt. Col. of the 41st. Crete.*]carried into unite to increase your cheer and happiness, Dear Jamie you must forgive my pride remembering that in spite of it all there is no hurt desiring more to add to your truest happiness than the one possessed by your naughty little wife. - It make me feel real sad every time I think of you - so big and strong - worn with sleepless nights and toil until you are writing to me with a trembling hand, and how above all price would have been the pleasure to have been near you then and ministered to your quiet & comfort by - those scratchings veshings &c.&c. which I am sure no one but you ever thought of enjoying - O you great big funny man you! But bless you if you can only be spared to come home to me again how incessantly I will scratch and how unvearridly comb and make all those little contributions to your comfort which you may desire from my hands - Evening - Harmon Austin - has just made me a call - is as chatty as usual and perhaps a little less aracular. He party promised to go with us to Columbus when the Grand vist is to be made. I presume he would be pleased with an invitation from you for himself - wife and Lattie If you really wish me to spend a week or two with you in camp it will be my greatest pleasure but I had felt that the few days the company spend with you would be perhaps all you would desire. You need not feel the least delicacy or hesitate a moment to express your real wish about it. I shall put it in no unfavorable or untrue lights There we may reasons They I presume - it might not be convenient for me to be with you and if those preponduate I shallI shall not think you unkind if you tell me so. Our little "Misser Polk" is toddling all about the house now - gets a great many down sets and bumps but generally bears them bravely. She calls "paper" great and when she looks at your photograph I ask her if she wants to kiss paper and she gives her little grunt and nod which means yes - so I lift her up and she opens her little mouth over your face and thinks she has kissed paper. I am trying to be very resolute and decided in breaking up any little bad habits which she is inclined to. Don't forget to remind me sometimes of your wishes concerning her. I hope we shall get a long letter from you soon describing all your arrangements and peculiar institutions Nothing you can write about yourself can fail to interest me at least. What think you of the war policy as it is manifested? Does it not seem very strange - almost outrageous that Freemont and Anderson should be left so destitute of men for the defense of the West? McClellan has seven or eight times their number and what is he doing with them. It seems to me that the [?] defeat need not to [?] the Administration with such selfishness for the East and such utter regardlessness for the West. No more for now. Your loving Crete.[*Columbus Ohio*] Hiram Oct 6. 1861 My Dear Jamie I am staying at home to day with our little Trot and now that she is asleep I will follow our my inclination to talk to you about her little precious self. You like to have me talk to you about her don't you? and if I had the power to make you understand anything about her little pretty amusing ways I would write to you all the while. She runs about very fast now and is as proud and happy as a baby can be. I believe her little face grows prettier every day - it grows so intelligent and expressive, and Jamie dear you will not be too much flattered if I tell you that it grows more and more like yourswill you? Her eye is precisely yours except the color. A few nights since she woke towards morning and was so restless that I lit the lamp to see what she would do. She immediately got up in bed and reached for the books on the stand. i gave them to her and she threw aside all but one which had a bright little picture in it. She was extremely delighted with it and bestowed upon it all the admiration she knew how to express By and by she lost it and then in her eagerness to find it I observed in her eye that peculiar motion and expression which I have never observed in any eye but yours. I can scarcely describe it but I have noticed it so often in yours when your mind was particularly active especially in searching or reading and after a thought -- as though the soul gave to the eye its own motion and it was leaping out after the object of its search. The little precious how I loved her for that new evidence that she was yours. How I love her for every manifestation which beard the impress of your soul. I love her far more I believe that she is yours than that she is mine. -Tho I love her most of all that she is ours but I would develope in her all that is most like you. She pretends occasionally to be wonderfully amused about something and she will laugh and go through with the most extravagant gesticulation - throwing back her head - putting up her little hands as though her delight was entirely uncontrollable. She will be a rare little piece of affectation if she goes on at this rate. -- We have heard from you very frequently by way of some of the boys.They bring all kind of reports aboutyour expected movements and the prospect of the boys coming home again before going into service. I am afraid that some will not go to Columbus thinking that their boys are coming home. Carson brings word that you expect your Reg. filled by the first of this week and that you are not going to stay in Camp Chase longer than till next week. I am glad your Reg. had filled so rapidly but sorry that it will take you away so much sooner. Do you expect your destination to be Kentucky? We want to here more fully from you concerning all these things for we don't know how much reliance to place on the boys' reports. We are expecting to start for C next Friday afternoon. I hoped to hear from you last night but I will be patient in all things & will try to so forecast the years Ask friend in foes again to match And reach a hand through time to catch The far off interest of tears" Most fondly your little wife Crete.Camp Chase. Oct 8. 1861 My Dear Crete. I took the medicine last night, which Dr Wilcox sent me--and am quite sick this morning. But after a little vomiting-- and purging I think I shall soon be better. I hope a course of medicine will set me right. I have not been very unwell since I wrote you last, but just enough to keep my system in a constant state of irritation and depletion I will make a vigorous push to get into proper shape. The work is yet very pressing but I am getting the regiment in such shape that it will by and by be easier to manage it. I have written three or four letters home to different ones [140]and though more than a week has passed since I first set the time I have not heard a word from any one of them whether you are coming or not. I expect you & hope that you will not disappoint me. I have written to Hamon Austin & wife [???] according to your suggestion to come down with you. I have also written to Harrison Jones to come and preach on Sunday. I want to know as soon as possible about the number that will come. We will arrange it so that you can all have a touch of camp life. I hope the friends will bring some eatables--and we will try to have a good time. I think you had better bring "Trot" if you can do so without too much trouble. [Well?] you must do as you think best in the matter. I don't know how long we shall be allowed to remain here in camp--but I think you had better come prepared so that if it seems best you can stay a week or so. I can't yet tell whether it would be best or not--and indeed, I don't know as it will best to bring Trot at all. Do as you think best. Bring Joe's watch--& I will let you take mine. Bring a couple pairs of sheets--to use while you stay. Do let me hear soon Ever Your James.[*Camp Chase Columbus Ohio*] Hiram Sunday eve Oct. 20. 1861 My Darling Jamie I arrived safely at home yesterday morning, and my heart is yet too full of those things of which we must be too brave to think to allow me to write you more than a word just to tell you that all is well. Little Trot was delighted to see me and to the books you sent her said "Ah pretty". We told her papa sent them to her and she looks them over and says "papa" but I don't know as she understands how they came to her. We met Dr. Robison at the Niddell. He went to tea with us and spent a half hour after supper chatting very pleasantly. He was more agreeable and gentlemanly than usual. I left at Mrs. Bascon's awhite quilted shirt and with Mrs. Clapp two sheets. If anyone else come home will it be taxing you too much to ask you to send them to me? I know how busy you are - but it will take you only a minute to think of it. We saw "Nell" in C-d and he said he would send "Mr Green" and the horse Saturday. We gave him directions concerning you. I am very glad that I have been with you a few days. I feel now a familiarity with your life and a sympathy for you that I could not have felt before. I will write again soon.- and hope you will write to me as often as you can. My love to the ladies with you and kindest regards to all especially to the good old Professor and his associates. Loving you more than ever CreteCamp Chase Oct. 27. '61 Sunday Night- My Dear Crete. I intended to have written before this but I had to go to Cincinnati and it crowded my work. I received your good letter, and it together with the whole visit makes and leaves an impression on my mind and heart which will give me hope and joy in a great many dark hours. I am very glad indeed that you came down and staid with I shall feel much happier in going out into the field that I should if you had not come. I cannot but feel a strong regret that I could not have seen our precious little Trot. Could she have been here at that last sacred and solemn night when we kneeled together almost here where I am now sitting it would add a great comfort to [141]my remembrance of the dear work in camp. I am now quite well--and am in hopes that I shall acquire a hardy and more constant health than I have hitherto had. I am drilling the regiment every day with a more severe discipline than ever, and I think I can see their growth marked and increasing. The ranks however are filling up slowly. We have now 755 on our rolls. We are constantly harassed by rumors that we are to leave immediately, but none of them are at all reliable. x x x x x x x At this point Monday morning I was interrupted by calls on business and had to try several cases of misdemeanors and early this (Monday morning I was ordered to report as officer of the day. So here I am in for it You remember something of what the duties are. I am beginning to tire of the monotonous routine of camp duties. I hope we may soon be sent away to active service. The thought of remaining during the winter would be unendurable. Still I have not much fear of being kept here. I saw Maj. Calument of the 7th when I was in Cincinnati and in a private conversation he surprised me very much by saying in the most positive and vigorous terms that Col Tyler was a coward and one of the meanest, and most unmanly men he ever knew. He then went on to say that the feeling was becoming quite universal among the officers--and that they were now becoming aware of Tyler's persistent attempts to injure Cox and build himself up at his expense. I of course said nothing which could be made use of and I hope I was Give my Cushing's Manual to Sammy Robison to take to his father. not deficient in regret that any one in the public service at a time like this should prove himself unfit for the post, but I am obliged to confess that I felt that if any one was to be found unworthy it should be one who I had so much reason to believe was unfit for command. How much was said because I was the auditor, I could not tell--but I think he represented the case fairly. I am sure that Cox's fame will shine brighter hereafter. I believe Tyler has been the chief of his detractors - - - - - Fifty nine more prisoners came in yesterday. We have now nearly 300 in prisons. I wish I had time to tell you about my trip to Cincinnati but I have not. Love and kisses to our dear little "Trot"-- and to yourself Every Your James[*[JaGarfield] 4'2 Reg Camp Chase Columbus Ohio*] Hiram [*Ohio*] Oct. 27. 1861 Dear Dear Jamie; I do not willingly think you unkind or neglectful but how can the heart trust all to silence. I know that you are very very busy but not so busy that you cannot write. And it almost breaks my heart that you do not desire the communication with your home which would prompt you to send if but a word to it as often as you can. I have tried to give you up to the wild chances of war with a brave cheerful spirit but when day after day passes and you either do not recognize in me the capability to suffer, or recognizing it, feel for it the utmost indifference I cannot keep back the tears. I know you do not [?]fully mean to be cruel but you don't know how [*196*]your neglect crushes my spirit, I will not talk more of it; but ask yourself Jamie if you always do by your little wife as you like to be done by, then ask yourself if you do not suppose she feels somewhat as you would under similar circumstances. The coming week is to be a bad one to me. There was nothing said about my arrangements for the winter when I was at Columbus but I suppose you expect me to go to [Gatherd?], and this week the term closes and I shall prepare to vacate our rooms. Every article every piece of furniture as it is taken away will be a reminder of the hours we have lived together here, and to see them removed will seem like severing heartstrings. Still it is best that I go. I was thinking to box up all your books that cannot be kept in your bookcase and on the what-not. Let me know if that be your wish. The probability is that the music class next term will not warrant the teachers to rent the piano; and I very much want it with me. I can take very much better care of it than it gets now, and if any want to practice on it they can do so. I want to practice a great deal this winter, and I cannot unless it is with me. Yesterday Wallace was here and he [Boris?] Booth and I went to Garrettsville. We went to see [Dr. Manly?]. Did not find him at home but his partner said the money should be sent up yesterday afternoon which of course was not done, and [Walt?] says he will send the note to the practice to be sent tomorrow I doubt whether you get it in any other way. How nearly full is your Reg. now? There is a company of thirty men in Nelson and Windham which was to start for you tomorrow! but this afternoon Elias Ford passed through here bearing a dispatch to them that they were to go into the 41st! They will some of them be very much disappointed. A letter from Joe last week states that he has been sick of Camp-fever. He was not out of the Hospital when he wrote but was recovering very fast. He says they - he and James - have the consent of their General Colonel and Captain to enter your Reg. as soon as you go into service. Little Trot is getting as plump and rosy cheeked as she was last winter. A week ago she walked with me half way down to Miss Morton's, and a few days after I left her asleep on our bed and the first Mrs. Marthrop knew she had got off the bed - gone down stairs and was at her door trying to get in. Jamie dear you will not forget to remember me with a little word the 11th of November - the anniversary of our marriage - will you? From the Gazette we see that you went to Cincinnatti. We would have liked to have gone with you, but you invited us there so soon that Miss Booth could not stay. I dare not think how much I want to see you. Love to all Your Crete.Ashland, O. Nov. 4. 1861. My Dear Crete. I did not expect to be out making speeches again but here I am at it at the rate of two or three a day. I found if the regiment was ever to be filled up, we must do it ourselves. We selected Ashland Co. because it had not sent its full quota to the army. I should have gone home, but I really felt that I could not go through the ordeal of separation again. This is a hard place to work in but we have got the ice fully broken. There is here [???] [142] set of men who have not given up their partisan prejudices--and are still more than half in sympathy with the South. Added to that there is a style of over-pious men and churches here, who are too Godly to be humane. Commencing Wednesday evening I have made eight speeches and have [???] 36 volunteers. They all refused me their churches for last evening--except the heretic J. N. Carman, who has been ostracized by the Disciples of this place. He went on to the platform of the town Hall, with me and I address a very crowded house. I felt particularly free--and I believe I never succeeded better for an hour than I did in characterizing the Christianity of Ashland and all people who were afraid to "do good on the Sabbath Day"-- I then called for volunteers and six of the best young men in town & the teacher of the Union Schools and a Methodist preacher came forward. So I think we shall succeed. Indeed I told the Adjt General that I should never return to the regiment till I brought a company. I have not heard a word from Augustus & I am very anxious to [dare?] show this to Harry. I havereceived his letter & am in hopes to hear that he has done something in the school. I should have been glad if Harry had concluded to go as Capt of a company. Give my love to all our folks and write me at this place I shall not leave by next Friday. Tell Almeda and Henry to write - Love to you I am [?] Ever Your James.[*Ackland Ohio*] Hiram Nov. 5. 1861 My Dear Darling Jamie: Very glad am I to receive a letter from you tonight. We have been anxiously looking for some word from you ever since Augustus came, and almost expecting you would come too. It is very strange you have heard nothing from Augustus. The morning after he came he went to Lordstown to see about getting a Company already organized... to go into your Regiment. He found they were promised to the 20th- Col. Whittlesey but would go into yours if the Col. would consent to the transfer. Augustus telegraphed to you that night- Sunday - and then next morning sent a letter to you telling you [*very often. I want a good long letter from you once in a while telling all about yourself your thoughts feelings etc. But between those letters send every few days a few lines to let us know what you are doing. You don't know how much we desire to hear very often. Do you know that next Monday night is the anniversary of our marriage? And will you not write me a good long letter then. Precious little Trot is growing very fast now- physically & intellectually I will write more about her next time. Yours as ever Crete*] 199of this camp and the necessity that you write immediately to Col . Whittlesey. If you have not yet received his letter I am afraid you will fail of getting them. Augustus came back here again last night, and was greatly disappointed not to find some word from you. He has not done much yet, and says he had little hope of doing much. It is getting so late in the season that we dislike to volunteer especially to be sent away directly into service He expected Harry to help him the week and he has an appointment for him at Mantra this evening. But Harry went to Col yesterday to return last night and is not at home yet unless he came this evening. Harry [it] is thinking quite seriously of going with you. Harvey opposed him strongly; but Harry came in to see Miss Booth and we thought after school closed to know what we thought of his going and finally said that he thought it quite possbly that influences might be brought to bear during vacation which would decide him to go. I think he will not be willing to go to Loreser unless some of a Captaincy. Harvey treated Augustus very strangely while here all of which he will tell you about when you see him. I believe it seems pleasenter to think of you out again speaking than to think of you in that dull dreary camp. But it seems as though you ought to come home again now you are so near. We looked for you Saturday and yesterday and it seemed as though we could scarcely be reconciled to have you go back without coming to see us again. But I suppose we must give it up now.and trust to some brighter months to bring you to us again. I have now staid here until this morning to see you if you came. I have been doing the sad work of moving today. I have not dared to think of the work I was doing but every little while I found my resolution all melting down into tears. Dear me Jamie didn't I hug some of your old coats and didn't it bring you very near to me when I pressed my cheek close down upon them. I thought best to move all our things down here except some of your books. Mrs. Northrop said your Book case could stand in the room as well as not, and I thought from something Miss Booth said that she would rather [they] it should not be removed so I gathered up the most of your books into it and the corner cupboard and left them. It made my heart ache to go away from them, but I begin to think that life is only measured by hearts-aches and that it wouldn't be any life at all without them. [?] I want you to send me the longest lock of hair on your head. Please don't forget it. Also the key to your Book case drawers. [?] skirt also if you have an opportunity. Now Jamie dear do please write to us a littleMedina. Nov. 17. 1861 My Dear Crete. I expected to have been in Camp Chase within a few hours after I left you on Tuesday Morning-- but about fifteen minutes before I left for the train I received a letter from Major Pardee urging me to come to Medina and help raise a company I stopped off at Grafton and and rode 30 miles to Lodi and made a speech that Evening, and up to this time I have been [???] just as I did in Ashland. I am to ride 30 miles to day & speak twice, and tomorrow morning I leave for Camp [143]I think now there is nothing that can turn me aside from seeing the Regiment. I am told they went down to Columbus in full force to see me when I was to have arrived last Tuesday. I am very weary of speaking I assure you & yes I believe I did as well in the Court House here yesterday as I have often done I staid over night with Burke once since I came here--and saw Eleanor and Frank Stiles. We have up to this time obtained 63 names in this County and I think we can get a full company. If we do I I shall take two of our fragmentary companies and put them into one And thus we shall be nearly full to the maximum I have become exceedingly anxious for the condition and welfare of the regiment It is now nearly three weeks since I saw them & I very much fear they will begin to feel that I am neglecting them. I am very glad I went home and saw you again. I think we shall both have more cheerful recollection of our party than we did before We had a very fine visit, taking it all in all,When you find some one of the boys who are coming down to camp I wish you would send my rifle and bullet moulds if you can. Send also the globe sight that goes with the rifle. I think I can get some comfort out of "my pretty gun"-- With Love to all especially to Trot & yourself I am Ever Your James. [*Columbus Ohio*] Hiram Nov. 17. 1861 My Dear Jamie Our little birdie has shut her little eyes and gone to sleep so that I have a few minutes for you. You can never know what a little mischief she is until you have had the entire care of her for one while day - then if you do not cry "enough" nothing that you can ever meet will have the power to extort from you that cry. She is so pleasant however and does so many amusing things that one cannot get very impatient with her. I felt real sorry that you could see her so little while with us, and it seemed to me that you felt disappointed in her some way. On her account more than any other I regret your seperation from us. You see her only enough to notice her faults and I cannot bear that your love for her be modified by them rather than by her little winning love inviting ways. Some of her performances on the piano are very amusing. She plays slow and quietly while she sings and then puts in some darling little interludes that make all ring. Yesterday while singing and looking on a piece of music open before her someone turned the blank side of the sheet towards her - at which she was very indignant and would not be appeased until it was turned back again. I can scarcely realize that I have parted with you again and with less hope than ever before of not seeing you again for long months. To see you again now was so unexpected -the visit with you so pleasant and the morning we parted rom you so bright that the keen bitterness of our sorrow was lost, and I cannot but feel that it was all an earnest of your safe return and of happier hours than we have yet known- We stopped at Aurora only long enough to take Hannah home. I left Almeda at Martinez and came on home alone. Just this side of Martinez I met [Harrison?] Austin with a drove of cattle for Dr. Robison. He staid at Squire Udell's the night before and was up to see if you had returned hoping to se you. Wallace preached his farewell sermon to the citizens of Hiram the day we left him here. I saw him after I came home and he was anxious to know when he should be wanted in Camp. While I feel really provoked at him I cannot but feel sorry for him. Harry saw the notice of the Sword presentation in the Tuesday morning's paper and arrived here to meet you thinking that you were on your way home. He was very sorrynot to have seen you. Last wednesday two letters came for you one form ashland- the other from Columbus. The Ashland letter I send - the other from your Adjutant + I wish to keep by your permission, both for the kind feeling of the writer towards you which it shows also for the testimony it bears of the kind regard and esteem of the whole Regiment for you. Nellie received a letter from Rufus Houltoon a few days since which contains something like the following. Our Field officers are well loved and our Colonel has not an enemy in the Regiment. It makes me very happy that your men say such things of you - but happier to know that you are worthy of it all. That you may never fail to be both just and generous you know is the prayer of all our hearts, and to see you loved and honored our greatest happiness. I hope you have had the success you desired in filling your Reg. and from your Ashland letter also from notices I have seen to judge you have. Are not our prospects brightening somewhat? Little Trot and I write our best love for you and desire to hear from you very soon Crete. [* Enclosed find the $5,00 I borrowed. Joe will pay you soon. I paid Mrs. Brown $4.00 for the use of team.*][*Columbus Ohio*] Hiram Nov. 19. 1861 Jamie Dearest - This your thirtieth birthday has been beautifully bright, and I have watched each sunny hour and hailed it as a harbinger of a glad glorious future for you. Now that the day is done and the night in its quiet glory takes up the prophecy I sit here to add my smile to the tribute which loving hearts are giving you. The hours of a closing year bring precious thoughts whether of joys departed or of the pain which sorrow brings which may serve as stepping stones to higher things. Dear Jamie there are many sorrows whose dark lines grown on your life I would gladly wipe out, but 'tis vain to speak of them to think even and as I have [*199*]ever tried to do so did now --I can upon that Arm which is stronger than I an trust for you and me that "He who doeth all things well will yet be our support. Last night I dreamed of you. I scarcely know what but it was a vision of peace and I woke this morning with my soul full of that quiet which comes when sorrow is passed. I have read your chapter to night "Cast thy bread upon the waters: for thou shall find it after many days". And as each new year is added it seems more beautiful, more appropriate.---I wish your little daughter could have been with you to day that some little bright streaks of her existence might have been ?i????ed into the ???p which holds your years together. So many times to day she has turned up her little baby mouth for a kiss, and so many times clasped her little loving arms around my neck. Jamie I love her with all the wealth of your heart's affection, and may Our Good Father keep you both to all that is good and noble and glorious. I received your letter to-night. Thank you for all its kind expressions. I wrote to you Sunday and will add no more now. Your loving Crete. P.S. We have just heard from John He speaks of having written to you but has received no reply. Write to him if you can get the time. CreteCamp Chase. Nov 23. 1861 My Dear Crete. I have only time for a word. I want you to go to my papers and find a few copies of my Senate Report on Treason and send four or five copies to "N.H. Swayne Esq" Columbus. We have 917 men on our rolls and the Major is coming in today with about 70 more. No news about time of leaving Camp. I have learned the pleasing intelligence that I can draw no pay for any of the time I have spent before my regiment was full. My Colonelcy & pay begin from this time. The work of getting ready for marching is immense. I am glad you agreed to let me write for only a line once in a while. Wall is here, bugle and all I have turned Albert off. Love to all Ever Yours James. [144]not Sunday Evening. Dec 1. 1861. My Dear Crete. After a long struggle and a good deal of difficulty I have arranged and harmonized the new recruits from Ashland and Medina. We have now 1009 men and officers and have changed in some instances the letter of our companies. In order that you may know the companies, should they be referred to in the papers I will give you a list of them: Co A. Capt. F.A. Williams, Portage " B. " W.H. Williams, Medina " C. " T.C. Bushnell, Ashland " D. " J.H. Riggs Noble " E " C.H. Howe Lorain " F " H.H. Willard Portage " G. " C.P. Jewett Cuyahoga " H. " S.M. Barber Ashland [110]Co. J Capt R. B. [???], Logan. " K " A. Gardner Bellefontaine In line of battle they stand in this order Three contiguous counties-- Portage Ashland Lorain 170 Medina men scattered through these three A F D I C H E K G B __________________________________ Front We have lately got our arms--a fine French Rifle, and the boys are well pleased with it. We know nothing of our future, but we are still living on the hope that we shall be ordered to move somewhere very soon. I shall not be surprised if we received marching orders tomorrow. But I shall not be surprised if we do not receive them for a fortnight. I have given up thinking about. Meantime I wait and work. Your letter enclosing $5.00 and a note from Mrs Cox was received--but not answered, for when I wrote you a business note a few days ago [???] not have time to do more. I have written to Mrs Cox and to her brother. I can do nothing for him. I have (finally I hope) got rid of Wall. He has been appointed Quarter Master Sergeant in Col Whittlesey's Regt (the 20th) & has gone to Covington Ky. It is a relief indeed. My pretty gun came down in good condition. I have sent it to Columbus to have it repaired more thoroughly. Tell me how you are getting along. I hope you are practicing a good deal on the piano. I am exceedingly anxious that both you & Trot should be good players. How is the blessed little darling? Kiss her for me.C Does she do any new things. Tell me about them. I send you a warrant from Crittenden warranty my watch to run one year. If it should stop--send it to him and send word about the warrant. Do you hear from Joe? It is now time they were joining us if they are going to be transferred. Jones has been appointed Chaplain & has accepted. Ever Your own James.[Columbus Ohio] Hiram Dec 5 1861 My Dear Jimmie: I did not receive your letter until this morning was very glad to hear from you again and know that you have leisure so that I dare write to you again, but do not I beg of you, feel under any obligation to take the time to write me any more such long letters as the one I received a week ago. I hope your Regiment do not know that you give me so much time. I am sure they would feel greatly wronged. But bless you- you are good; and I do love you whatever you do- only that you do not smoke____________You may fill the blank. We have been having a few days of sharp stinging winter weather and I have been thinking of you and [201]your boys in your comfortless ?c???ks for I remember the first little frost gathered us close around your well filled stove when we were there and it seems to me you can scarcely keep from suffering now. I hope you have provided yourself with all the most comfortable clothing you can wear: and have your men all that they can wear or carry to make them comfortable! The people here and in several other townships are knitting mittens for the 42nd but it will need a good many busy hands to provide for a thousand men and if you have not already, I think it would be well to have each Com. send to their respective counties for mittens. I want the 42nd thoroughly mittened.---Judge of our surprise this afternoon to see enter "?all I supposed he was far away in the "Old Kentucky Home". He says he found to his surprise that his position in the 42nd was no position at all, and that he cannot go into the 20th as Serg't unless he enlists for three years; but what will become of the Eclectic if he goes for so long a time. He looked rather blue and did not seem particularly pleased with his military career. Poor ?all!! I am glad Her? James is going with you. James Randolph came home yesterday. He has been sick but is recovering slowly. He and Joe still expect to come into your Reg. But will it not be necessary for you to send for them? I am writing to Joe to day--so that he may come immediately if he can or make his arrangements to come as soon as he hears from you. Joe writes that he is as well as he was before he was sick and that the Capt. tells him that he is looking better than he has ever since he came into his comp. Little Trot is sitting on Grandma's lap going to sleep for the night. She does no very wonderful things, but a thousand that are pretty and [cuning?] and full of mischief and I am sure you would enjoy her little company very much were she with you. About two weeks ago she and I had our first struggle for the mastery. She showed some of her pure will and I had to spat her real hard before she would give up. She tried to coax me with kisses and to turning my attention to something else but finally gave up and was so pleasant and nice as need be. We have been out to see Grandma at Solon. Found her and all the rest pretty well. Mother looks every night for a letter from you and says "I thought there would be a letter from Jamsey tonight." I watch all the papers to see if there is anything from the 42nd and look far more anxiously for a letter from you. Ever your loving Crete.HEAD QUARTERS, Ohio Militia and Volunteer Militia. QUARTERMASTER GENERAL'S OFFICE, Columbus, Dec 9, 1861. My Dear Crete- It will be a month, tomorrow since I left home, and yet I have received but two letters from you--and none from Almeda. Your last letter was received more than three weeks ago. I do not find fault for your letters may have miscarried--but I am exceedingly humbled in not having heard from you. The immense work of engaging a thousand men--getting them properly officered--armed and equipped and making out sixty full company rolls--together with the usual routine duties of drill and discipline, have filled the last month full to overflowing. We are now seeing our way clear to get off into the field after so many long delays. Nothing now, but the hopes of getting our pay will detain [145]us here till the end of the week. But if by waiting a week long our men can be paid--we will wait--I am very well satisfied with the condition of the Regt. & every day feel more confidence in it & trust in the success of its performances, if I & other officers do our full measure of duty. I am in the city this morning on business--and take a moment to drop this line to you. I would, were it possible run up & see you [???] now before I leave--but Indeed I hardly feel as though I [could] can leave without seeing you all again But I know this cannot be & so I must be content. Do let me hear from you. Direct as usual. I think it will reach me before I leave If not it will be forwarded. Kiss our Darling & believe me now as Ever Your own James [*misplaced 1861*] Louisville Hotel Louisville Ky. Dec 16, [1861] 1861 My Dear Crete. I was unable to answer your last good letter, in consequence of receiving marching orders which admitted of no delay - All along we supposed we should be ordered to this place, but a little before midnight of Saturday, a[n] telegraphic order came from Gen. Buell ordering the 42nd to proceed with all possible dispatch to Prestonburg - in Floyd County - Eastern Kentucky We left camp at 9 o'clock Sunday morning had the banner presentation at the Depot & at 2 1/2 P.M were in motion toward Cincinnati, where we arrived about 9 o'clock. I had sent Col Sheldon on the night before as soon as the order came, to provide transportation and determine our route. When we landed from the cars a dispatch was in waiting for me from Gen. Buell telling me to send the Regt on toward its destination, and report myself at his Head Quarters for orders - I worked till 2 oclock this morning in getting on board [Tenn?] men, and baggage & our supplies and transportation teams, which [*111*] [*may wait to send the next letter to Paris, Ky - Give my love to all the fol[ks] Thank Father, for me, for his letter, Kiss Trot - and believe me as ever loving and hoping - Your James -*]consistent 150 mules - 25 army wagons and six ambulances for the sick - The boys were very much crowded and I fear they will not be comfortable. Our route is up the Ohio to Ca[a]tletsburg - and up the Big Sanday, as far as the steamers can take us - thence overland to Prestonburg. The rebels are returning through one of the gaps in the mountains, from Tennessee and Floyd is said to be coming also. There is great alarm among the inhabitants of the "Blue Grass" region and eastward - The say there are 6000 foot and and a park of artillery pressing in toward Lexington and Paris - It is rumored that I am to have command of three or four regiments and conduct the Expedition. Humphrey Marshall is in Command of the rebel forces. I called at Gen Buell's Head Quarters soon after my arrival, but he was not in. I am to meet him at his room tonight at 9 o'clock After which I will write you the results the interview. I am stopping at the [Lam?] house, where I stopped two years ago when I met the Legislature. The Union was the object that visit - and is of this. I presume I shall leave by first train to join the regiment. I hope so for I cannot endure the idea of having the boys meet danger, and I not be with them. My first order as I remember it (for it is not with me van there "The 42nd will proceed with all dispatch, by rail and water to Prestonburg, [to drive back or cut off] where its Col. J Junior will report for duty - if Senior will take command of our forces there - and drive back or cut off the rebel now advancing on that place -" So you see, if I have no different orders I shall try my hand in this new kind of argument - The flag presentation was a fine affair - The Governor told me that the 42nd was the best regiment that had yet been raised in the State - My health is very good & though I have hardly slept at all for the last three nights - I am feeling finely - It is now nearly time for meeting the General - & I will leave room to write more when I return - - (11 3/4 o clock P.M.) For two hours I have either been sitting or pacing the room alone, I have had Colton's large Atlas before me and have been trying to get some knowledge of the territory which is to be the scene of my work for, it may be, many months to come. I returnedfrom visiting the General, a little before, then o'clock. I found him a very plain, straight forward--frank decisive appearing man and he proceeded to business at once. He said he knew about me, and had resolved, for the present, to put me in command of a brigade. Look on the map of Ky. and you will see the R.R. from Cin. to Paris. That is the western base of my operations. The 40th Ohio Regt. is to be sent there tomorrow, & commence the eastward advance & soon as I am ready to move it. The 16th Ohio is to be at Lexington as a Reserve, Six Companies of cavalry are on the way overland to join my command. These troops are to meet the rebels who are pushing through the mountains, and making towards West Liberty & Paris. The 42nd accompanied by a Ky Regt. now at Louisa, are to strike down toward Prestonburg and endeavor to cut off the retreat of the Enemy. The General leaves the execution of this general plan in my hands. He says he knows but little about the country-- or the real extent of the danger. This I must examine & then lay my plans, & act accordingly. When I reflect that this movement covers an area of 6000 sq miles, & has no rail road or telegraph lines--[but] and think how soon the winter will be upon us in all its severity among those mountains. I feel that my hands are very full indeed. But after all I must confess that I am pleased with the prospect of work. I will write some of you again soon. I cannot now tell you where to direct to me--but you[Columbus Ohio] Hiram Dec 11th 1861 My Dear Jamie: I presume you have received my letter of last week before this but I will [?] to respond to your las so that you may get it before leaving Camp Chase. You have remained there so much longer than we expected that I had almost forgotten that you could be sent to any post of greater danger; but your letter I received last night brought back all my fears and anxieties all the terrible anguish of our parting at Columbus. Jamie, how can I let you go -- and let you go too without seeing you again. Still I know that another parting would be but a repetition of that last sad night we spent with you in Camp, and since you cannot comeI will try and think it best that you do not- though I cannot feel it. I know that you are all glad at the prospect of soon getting away and when I think of the dull confinement there in Camp I do not wonder, but when I think of all the chances to which you are going away and of the almost certainty that from the [?] brave noble boys who some will fall before you return my heart sinks down and though I must pray that the one I most love be spared. Yet who among you all has not some loving one left from whose heart the same prayer arises. These are times that try our souls and I sometimes think that we who stay behind to watch and wait through the long weeks and months are the most tried. But Jimmy if there is only [?] enough in us to have anything left of us when the time is passed you will find us made of purer stuff when you do come home again. Have you everything you need before going away? Is there not something I can do for you to add to your comfort? For a week pas the weather has been almost summer like and for the comfort of the army I would wish it might remain so through the winter. but we shall probably have a great many stinging cold days when you wee need all you can get to be comfortable. Little Trot is very well now and doesn't forget papa [yet?]. The first thing when she awoke this morning was to get up and call you. She thinks the locket with your picture a very pretty thing and wants it opened to see papa whenever she sees it. I will have any picture put in the other side and keep it for her. It is not daylight yet but she running around and giving me every few minutes a jog - which accounts for some of the unsightly marks upon this letter. She was awake before five o'clock singing - if not like a lark- at least as merrily as one. Yesterday while I was practising my voice at the piano she raised an octive with me. Sometimes when I struck a new note her voice would not chord the first time and she would turn her head away as thought it hurt it; and then try again. Glenda said she had not written to you. I presume she will not tell you what she said about it. I suppose she feels as I do sometimes when I get a little short letter telling me nothing about your self and speaking of nothing but the extremest outside of things; so thinks she will punish you by a long silence. I shall hope to hear for you very often when you go away and I will be more punctual in writing so you Don't forget to send a lock of your hair. With all our love Crete and Trot Steamer. "Bay City"-- off Maysville Ky-- Dec 20. 1861 My Dear Crete. I will continue my journal from the point I left off in my letter to Almeda from Louisville I spent Tuesday and most of the night in making arrangements with the Heads of the various Departments for stores and full outfit for the Brigade. In the evening Gen. Buell sent a request for me to go and see him--which I did and spent an hour more with him. At 6 o'clock Wednesday morning I left--according to instructions for Lexington & Paris. At the former place I found Jacob Heaton--& the 16th Ohio Regt. After two hours delay I went on to Paris-- made arrangements for quartering the 40th Ohio which arrived 9 P.M. that night. In the morning I started the 40th on the march Eastward--and gave them orders--a copy of which I will enclose you--if I can get a chance to send this letter off on the Ohio side. Otherwise I will not send it. I also left orders for Col Wolford to send 4 companies of his cavalry along with the [146] This and one or two other orders which I have sent home I want preserved--for in case I should lose my own--they may be of great importance to me Direct to Catlettsburg Ky.40th and the remaining two companies to hasten across the country to Catlettsburg to join me there. I then left for Cincinnati--where I met Wallace and Harry and in about an hour was on board the Steamer bound up the river. Wallace is aboard going up to Pittsburg. Charley Handley is Clerk of the boat. It is rumored that the rebels are coming down in force to attack Catlettsburg--& that the people are very much alarmed I believe I told you that Col Moore of the 14th Ky had retreated from Louisa to Catlettsburg in consequence of the superior numbers of the enemy. I intended to stay in Cincinnati to transact some important business, but hearing of the troubles I concluded to hurry up at once. I intend to move the whole force up the valley as soon as possible. I am now feeling badly in reference to this Brigade matter--for fear it will separate me from the 42nd I would rather stay with them all the while, than to command a Brigade a few months and then go back to them, and find them changed in their habits and affections I have found that the Cavalry sent me from Ohio are not arrived with carbines for which I am exceedingly [???] I shall endeavor to see that they are supplied as soon as possible. Such had been the rapidity with which events have occurred to me--and such unexpected ones that I hardly know how I shall like the change--though I think I shall like the additional inspiration of increased work. One column (the 40th) passes through Mt. Sterling where Bro Munnell lives. I saw several prominent disciples at Paris and received valuable assistance from them. I am exceeding anxious to receive frequent and full letters from you & I want you to send me any papers that make criticisms on my course Kiss Trot for me & give my love to all our friends Ever Your James. 5 o'clock P.M. Friday- My Dear Crete- I have been sleeping for now that I am cut off from work for a few hours I find myself very weary. But I chap under the delay of so many hours that separate me from the boys. We are approaching Portsmouth and I will drop this ashore and get it to you. I got Wall to copy the order which I spoke of & which I enclose. My last three letters to you--to Harry and Almeda, in connection with this give a pretty full account of my doings since I left Camp Chase. I want you all to write to me very often You all have so much more leisure than I and you don't know, I am sure, how very much I want to hear frequently from home. J-- P.S. I sent you $60 by Harry J--[*Catlettsburg Ky*] Hiram. Dec. 22. 1861 My Dear Jamie: Your letters to us all came Friday evening and greatly rejoiced we were indeed to hear from you for we had been anxiously waiting for letters or for Harry's return. He came also the same evening so we have received the latest intelligence possible from you. But where you may be now or what doing is all uncertain, and this the new anxiety with which we are to contend: for the difficulty of receiving news from you will place you a good man days in advance of any thing we can hear from you- and those days may be full of peril. But Jamie I am not repining. Each lengthening of the distance between us - each added [*hope and expect great things from you. Spend a moment now and then thinking of your little Crete and darling Trot. Your least letter was good and long- a real treasure. Thank you for "das gelt" you sent by Harry. but you still deny me that lock of hair. Ever your love Crete*] [*Mar 13*]danger gives me more courage and hope; and an increased determination to count the hours by some advantaged to us gained. I tremble at the responsibility which has been give you still I do not doubt your ability to meet it if they will only give you sufficient means. If the strength of the enemy in that section is anything what it is reported it seems to me your force will be but a handful before them and if you diligence and tact should fail you almost hopeless would be your condition. I know that all that unremitting labor and determination of purpose can accomplish will be accomplished by you, and I have great confidence in your sagacity, and ability to plan rapidly and act decisively still there are so many possibilities of failure and defect that I can only watch and wait with the greatest anxiety hoping and praying that you may be given that wisdom and strength which comes from God alone.--I felt so sorry that Harry went away to you without letting me know of it: There were several pairs of mittens finished which ought to have been sent and we were anxious to send another box of Hospital stores. These we will send to you yet if you think it best. [There] and will send them immediately if you will send directions so that you may be quite sure of receiving them. The prospect of your spending the winter among the mountains seems very dreary and we are anxious to supply you with all the comforts we can. The last we heard from Joe the Col. had refused to transfer him and James unless they would furnish substitutes. This [they] he had nearly despaired of doing and seemed to have settled down as contentedly as he could- with the prospect of spending the winter in Western Virginia. The Reg. have gone into winter quarters at Fayettesville and Father has written him to come home and spend as much time as he can get a release fro. John and his family are with us now and will probably remain through the winter. Mrs. Will Clapp came home last monday and is looking much better and happier that when she went to Camp Chase. I think she feels much more reconciled than she would have done had she not gone there. Our little Trot is the same little precious - talks about papa yet, and when we ask her where papa is. she says "done" for gone-We have got your photographs from Ryders. They are as perfect as possible. I feel as though I had seen you every time I look at it; only you don't speak. The expression on your face is so natural and your position. You seem to be just ready to start into one of your mischievous boyish freaks and were just holding still or [??] to get took. Now Jamie darling write to me or some of us very often We want to hear from you every day. WeHead Quarters 11th Brigade. George's Creek. Dec. 25. 1861. My Dear Crete. An express rider is just about to leave for the mouth of the river. I have been writing dispatches for the last two hours. We are now within 18 miles of 2500 rebels who have four guns. Our scouts have been very near the Enemy's pickets. We are waiting for our Ky regts to come up & have Gen Buell to send us [guns] artillery. As soon as these arrive we shall attack the rebels at Paintsville who are now fortifying the place. We may be attacked where we are--but I do not expect it. Conceive of my great hurry and pardon this brief note. God grant you may now be enjoying a merry Christmas. I am exceedingly anxious to hear from you. I have had no word, letter or paper since I left Camp Chase Love to all- Ever& Forever Your James- [206][*42 Reg Ky*] Hiram Dec. 29th 1861 My Dear Jamie: I received your last Christmas eve, but having sent you a letter the morning before I have delayed writing again until now. It was a great comfort to us to receive these long letters giving so frequent and full an account of all your doings and with our thanks we would continue our petition that you continue also. I know that you claim no leisure- scarcely a moment for necessary rest, but so often as you can by right or might get a moment for us you make us exceedingly glad. Christmas was the first for five years that we have not spent together; and I thought of you and missed you very much this last Christmas day. As I count back those years and note 206 [* [?]. write as fully as you can get time to. As ever your loving Crete. These are my last words to you this closing year. May the New Year be to you bright and happy. It would be a great joy to me next Tuesday eve to know that form your heart you were penning some word of love for me. Ever your Crete. then one by one ach seems to have moved you far on in life's journey-- each spanned many more of the way - marks that tell the work of life than usually fall within so short a period. Five years ago you were simply a sub- ordinate teacher in the Eclectic. The next Christmas found you at its head. Two more eventful years passed and you were the candidate elect to our state Senate and this last Christmas finds you at the head of a Brigade starting on an expedition into Kentucky. And so you are counting off the years - and the months too with events of scarcely less note. Have just returned from church - saw Almeda who told me she heard from you last night. If I were in the habit of being appalled at any of your undertakings I might have found myself becoming slightly so at the account of your [?] ride to Louisa from Catletsburgh and of your meditated attack upon Prestonburgh. I think my greatest fear for you is that you may act rashly -and - as I have often heard you say, there may come a time when good luck will fail you. I cannot advise but I would suggest to you the propriety of considering somewhat the risk you run before [?] upon any very rash exploit. I presume you and Harry Jones were not in very much peril however for had there been a whole Regiment within hearing of you they would never have dared to attack a force counted by the noise some of your great laughs must have sent out. But do exercise all the caution you possess - you will be none to safe then. We are having delightful weather yet. A few days ago we had a little storm somewhat wintry but it is as warm and spring-like again now as before. Charley Bowler was here yesterday - looking well and in finespirit. He says of Tyler - Col. I suppose I should have prefixed - that the Reg. generally feel dissatisfied with him - especially with his treatment of Chaplain Brown. And that it is quite possible that he will be removed. Do you feel any sadness over your defeat of him! A letter from you last week says they are in fine winter quarters and are making themselves very comfortable. Do you remember "Eliphaz?" Don't laugh - Poor boy he is dead. He was in the 41st and died of measles. Little [?] is not very well now. She is cutting four double teeth, and has a hard cold besides. I think she seems better to day however. Her little face looked very earnest and anxious Christmas morning as she drew from her stocking old Santa Claus gifts. She is getting to try to say about everything we tell her to, but makes very [?] work with some of the words - for instance - I told her to say "mischief" and she got it "pickey." she manifests a little [ ? ] sometimes. Enough at least to show that she acknowledges her parentage. Will you please read the parable of the "important widow" before combing your hair west[misplaced][1862] Head Qrs 18th Brigade Camp Moore. Jan. 1st 1861 [misdated] My Dear Crete Just as I had given up that my scout who was sent to Col Cranor with the message to move on to Prestonburg had been captured--I am to rejoice more than any news ever received in my life [that] by the arrival of the faithful "Kit Carson" fifteen minutes ago. He has been shot at--twice surrounded by Enemies--once escaped by shotgun & once--when aid by a party of [???] men fought and captured several [eight] prisoners. Col Cranor left McCormick's Gap yesterday morning and is now moving via Hazle Green toward Prestonburg. I have organized a system of spies and scouts which is giving me full and satisfactory information of the doings of the Enemy. He is now entrenched on a Hill three miles back of Paintville on the Prestonburg road--and is fortifying still more. I dare hardly hope that I shall capture a whole army--and I always feel very reluctant to say I think I shall do a thing when I may fail of succeeding. But I do think I am getting into a position from which I have good grounds to hope that I shall capture him. I cannot tell you how deeply [???] to the scheme in hand--are all the impulses and energies of my nature. I begin to see [112]the obstacles melt away before me--and the old feeling of succeeding in what I undertake gradually taking quiet possession of me. In all this--don't think I am so absorbed that I do not often have sweet thoughts of home & all that I love. In the lulls of work there comes to my heart fairer visions of all these than ever greeted on before. Your very dear letter--[and] one from Almeda and one from Burke were received day before yesterday & were thrice welcome I assure you. It was the first word I have had from home. We have effected an arrangement by which our letters will be brought to us twice a week from Ashland--a place near Catlettsburg. Tell all our friends to direct to Ashland, Boyd Co. Ky. Jacob Heaton is just going down the river--and will take this hasty note I write on a board--and sitting in a box with a dozen officers talking around me Harry Jones wrote you for me a few days ago and wouldn't let me see it. I send you the lock you asked for. Love to all. Now & Ever Yours & Trot's- James-January 5, 1862 My Dear Jamie: You are the first whom I remember by letter this new year. You were the last to whom I gave word and thought as the old year died. So are you to my heart the first and the last. The dearest, the best loved. And how do all my thoughts - my very life - go away to you this bright sabbath day and ask for you, from the giver of all these glorious days, a year as bright with the glory of a well earned fame. Dear Jamie while I tremble and fear for you hope twines a laurel crown to place upon your brow and gives me the most ferocious promise that you will still keep your life pine and noble whatever be the [s?] through which you pass. Today is clear and bright, and though it has the chill of winter in its breath still I fancy you gathered together in some shelter- ed and quiet spot for worship, and I hear the clear voice of your chaplain as it rises up into the silvery tones of merriment making you laugh while yet the tears are flowing which the low music of his pathos called out as he talked to you of home and and the loving ones left behind. I am glad Harry James is with you. Glad for your sake an for all who shall come within his influence. His course during our last interview at Cleveland inspired me with a most thorough respect for him and an entire confidence in his genuine goodness. I think too from all I hear that he has the respect and love of the whole Regiment. Rufus Horton in a letter to Nellie says of your service last Sunday when such a man as our chaplain talks to us of love and the absent ones it makes the sternest man weep. I received your Christmas offering was very grateful for it, though it was but a word, and your letter to Harry was received last Thursday, the day of your expected attack on the rebels - which it announced. We were all visiting at Miss. Carman's that evening, and when Harry read your letter to me you can conceive the shock it gave us. We have been watching the papers ever since for some word from you but as yet there has been nothing except a notice of your plan by your correspondent * to the Journal. I suppose there has scarcely been time yet to get news from you but hope tomorrow's mail will bring some. I have just received a letter from your Mother. She says of you "what do you think of his promotion?" * Whom I suspect to be no less a personage than yourself and the "gentleman" in the city Mr. Bascom.If he don't get killed what will be the next move"? She was feeling very badly that you had been sent into that part of the state. So did we all. Still the 41st reports so much sickness that perhaps it is better for you to be where you are rather than with the main body. You have written so far of your good health. and I hope you will keep it. Try and be as careful as you can and not place any tax upon it which you can avoid. I think of you always as with that fresh bright conntenance and clear clear eye that you came home with last and shall expect to meet you with the same when you come again. Nellie invited in a little company New Year's eve, and I think you would have felt very proud of your little daughter had you seen her like a little lady she behaved. I dressed her and let her stay in the parlor with them awhile. She was extremely well pleased with the change of dress, and at first was in high glee but soon quieted down to a very lady like little miss. She has all her papa's love for society and I think some of his ability to entertain. I have been knitting wristbands for you and Harry James. They are recommended as a great protection to the hands as well as to the arms - that if the pulse are left warm the hands will not suffer nearly so much. Ever your loving, Crete.FROM THE FORTY-SECOND.- We are permitted to copy the following interesting news in relation to the 42d Regiment, and the situation of affairs in Northeastern Kentucky, from a private letter to a gentleman in this city, written by a member of that regiment. Colonel Garfield is in command of the 18th brigade, and we may look for something stirring from George's Creek shortly; for the Colonel is after the lubberly Humphrey. HEADQUARTERS 18TH BRIGADE, } GEORGE'S CREEK, DEC. 28th, 1861. } "I take five minutes before the boat leaves to send you a few words. We have here with the 42d, the Kentucky 14th, and McLaughlin's squadron of cavalry. The Kentucky 17th, belonging to this brigade, has not yet arrived, and the Kentucky 1st Cavalry have not yet reached us. "Humphrey Marshall is within 18 miles with 2,500 men and four small guns. A plan for an attack has been formed, and orders sent to Colonel Cranor, of the 40th Ohio, to move from Bath county to Prestonburg and endeavor to cut off the enemy's retreat while we attack him in front. If they stand fire, I think we shall have a fight as soon as Thursday next. The boys are in good health and excellent spirits, and I think they want to fight, and am sure I do. "This is the most horrible country for hills and roads I ever dreamed of. The three months men say it is infinitely worse than Western Virginia."[Mrs J A Garfield] [62] Head Quarters 18th Brigade Paintville Ky Jan 9th 1862 Mrs Garfield Dear Madam The Col. has gone out on an expedition in search of Genl Marshalls force who have ingloriously fled and not having time to write you himself has delegated me for the purpose. Now I am sure that all I could write would not please you one half as well as a single word from him and still it may be better than nothing You cannot imagine what terrible difficulties we have encountered in getting this far. The roads are almost impassable even in the best season for wagons from the fact that the people have all go on horseback and care little for anything more than a mere bridle path. Since the war broke out nothing has done in a public way at all To understand the country you must know that the country is all made up of rugged hills and that around among them wind numerous small streams very crooked. Along theseare the attempts of roads. All these empty into the Big Sandy, and are such dignified by a name For instance, We have Toms creek, Johns creek, Muddy Branch Burnt Cabin and last but prettiest of them all is Jennies Creek on which we had a fight on the 8th killing six wounding several and capturing four horses with a top of two men The particulars of Marshalls cowardly retreat you will learn from the papers. The Col. is now after them with 1100 picked infantry and 400 cavalry If he finds them I warrant they will get soundly thrashed By the way allow me to say what every one here knows that the Cols ability as a commander is not questioned He is considered by every one in the Brigade as just the man. He has in this instance beaten them by strategy rather than by force of arms I have never seen an officer so universally beloved as he is by all his men.--It is but simple justice to say this and I am sure you will be glad to know it. Harry Jones is with us you know and we have a most pleasant companion in him I can never hear him speak without thinking of the long ago times when I have heard him preach at yearly meetings. Every body loves him The Col. has done an immense amount of work but has been well almost the whole time. All the Hiram boys are well. You would hardly know some of them. Boys who at home were pale and slender, "Mothers pets" have grown hearty on the rough fare and mountain breezes we have had till they are pictures of good health It would do the boys an immense amount of good if their friends would write oftener. Please tell them so.--A. messenger has just arrived as I write this saying that the Cav. have come up with the rebels only ten miles from here and ordering on all the available force at once If the information is correct they will have a fight in the morning Not expecting to meet them Col G. ordered me to remain behind this morning and write up our books So I am doomed to stay behind I enclose in this one hundred and eighty (180.00) dollars which the Col. desires should be loaned on good security or placed in bank in case you have no use for it Please tell my friends that we are all well. Love to Jennie I am [???] Your most obt servt W.H. Clapp[*Ashland Ky.*] Hiram Jan 12th 1862. My Dear Jamie: It is one of those dark drizzling dismal Sundays which are scarcly to be endured with our friends all around us much less in times like these when from our hear the stories the best loved are missed and to the gloom which such a day brings is added to the dreary thought that to them it comes in all its comfortlessness. Well I must stop right here in any lamentations - all of which I suppose will rejoice you very much - and offer my congratulations (?) for the escape of your rebel foe. Father has just returned from church and says the news has come to day that Marshall sent in to you a flag of truce to learn on what condition you could settle your [*209*]difficulty and that your reply was "that they must surrender unconditionally or you would fight them" whereupon they "took to their heels" and started for all the points of the compass that belong to "Dixie". What modifications this may receive when the truth come to be known is yet to be told. Last Sunday some of the people were greatly alarmed at a report which came that Marshall had killed and taken the whole of your force; And it was told all through the county that I had received a dispatch stating that you were killed- all starting from the story some drunken fellow told in [Mant?] that he was bringing me said dispatch. If it is indeed time that Marshall and his force have left the country to you what will be your programme next? I imagine you feel somewhat chagrined to be robbed in such a dastardly manner of your prey just as you were about to pounce upon it. And so shall I if it has been through any neglect or omission agreement on your part. This [?] I do not believe and am consequently glad you have been spared a fight. Aunt Catherine and Aunt Harriet will rejoice more than words can tell. But I am afraid if the enemy have dispersed it is only to hang around you in small companies and harass you in every possible way as they have the armies in Western Virginia. - John wishes me to say to you that if you know of any good place for him he would accept it very gratefully. With his family dependent on what he can earn he does not quite think it his duty to enlist as a private with the prospect of remaining so during the war. I think John would be thoroughly faithful in any position you would think him capable to fill. He does not wish to trouble you to find a place for him. Still if you know of one which could be obtained as well as not he would be glad of it. "Mall" is the Herald's correspondent at Columbus. Little [Trot?] is just coming down with the measles. is some sick and very fretful. I think she is not going to be very sick however. I received Harry Jones' letter and intended to answer to day but [Trot?] has kept me six hours writing this and I must wait till another day before answering his very good letter.I shall not tell you all he wrote either. Enough that I hope he will write me many more like it. I received the lock of hair all safe. Thank you. With blessings and love forever your Crete. Write me as fully as you can of all your doings. Short letters are very acceptable but double the length more than cubes the pleasure they give. Crete Miss [Maston?] sends love. Says you don't send her one word. Paintville. Jan 13th 1862 My Dear Crete. You have doubtless heard before this that we have had a battle with the Enemy. I have just returned from Prestonburg, and now find my first breathing space since we left this place & I will endeavor to give you a listing of the whole affair. I hardly know where my last letter left us, but I believe it was at Camp Pardee, on the head of Tom's Creek. At that place, I held a council of war as to [that] our future movement, or rather the time when we should make the advance. The council was composed of Field Officers, plus Harry Jones who is a privileged character in all our deliberations. I sent off another messenger to Col Cranor telling him I would attack the Enemy's Cavalry at the mouth of Jenny's Creek, and the question before the council was "what day shall we make the attack. I have always believed in the success of vigorous and well directed audacity-- and I wanted to move the next day (Saturday) There was but one man who agreed with me and that one was Maj. Pardee The rest all agreed on Monday. During Saturday and Sunday, I planned and con [148]ducted a series of little maneuvers intended to mislead the Enemy in regard to my own intentions. I believe I was entirely successful. Some day I hope to tell all of you about them in detail. On Monday morning I moved down to the mouth of Muddy Branch with the Infantry, for the sake of getting at the river where I could get our stores up by boat, and could also attack Paintville should the Enemy be there I left the cavalry back at the forks of Tom's Creek, with orders to attack the rebel cavalry while we attacked his infantry. During the night in our camp in the woods (which we called Camp Jones) I planned a night expedition of two companies under Capt F.A. Williams to go and occupy Paintville and learn whether the Enemy were making any demonstrations upon us. This he did very successfully & returned to me before morning. Early the next day (Tuesday) I moved on with the whole force and occupied this place. It was rumored that the Enemy had learned of my plan to surround him and cut off his supplies and was retreating from his entrenched camp. I built a temporary bridge acrossPaint Creek which was then very high & started two expeditions to start from here at the same time. The Cavalry under Col. Bolles of VA (whom Gen Cox had sent to me) were to ford the creek two miles above here, at the mouth of Jenny's Creek and drive the enemy up that stream. I led Eight companies of the 42nd and two of the 14th Ky across the pontoon bridge and formed them at the mouth of a deep ravine just as dusk came on. The rebel scouts had been seen to retire from the wooded cliffs on the further shore of the creek as we were completing the bridge. I had full reason to suppose they were in the hills. We moved up the dark gorge with caution, throwing forward pickets and scouts, and at Eight o'clock entered the deserted fortifications of the rebels where their camp fires were still smoldering, and the scattered remnant of their stores lay in sad confusion. The frozen tracks of thousands of feet were plain under the light of the new moon. While filling in the deserted house which had been Gen Marshall's Head Quarters I recd a dispatch from [the] a messenger--saying that the Enemy Cavalry were in force at the mouth of Jenny's Creek, that our Cavalry had skirmished with them, and they had concealed themselves in ambush. The messenger was sent to [???]whether they (our men) should make the attack in the night or wait till morning I sent back an order for them to get as near to the ambush as possible without making the attack, and I would march across the hills and attack the rebels in the rear. I then moved forward. By some failure of the message, the Va Cavalry made the attack before I came to the road on which the Enemy were & chased them five miles killing six, wounding several & losing two killed, and one wounded. I marched out and built two bridges that night--and reached Paintville just as the sun was rising. It was the hardest march I ever made. But it had a fine influence on the regiment. It schooled them to danger--for there was not a half hour of that gloomy night in which we did not have reasonable apprehensions of an attack. Then too for the first time the regiment was under fire, for two companies of the 14th Ky which I had ordered to be posted as pickets had got off into an out-of-the-way hill--which we passed on our return. They mistook us for our Enemy and fired on us. The next day was spent in scouting to learn the route the Enemy had taken. I found the river was up so that he could not cross to 2/ take the road to Piketon--but he had turned southwestward and was retreating up a branch of Jenny's Creek. Such was the terrible state of the roads, and the exceeding depth of the mud, that our supplies had come up very slowly, & I could not for several days get provisions enough to warrant a pursuit with my whole force. I felt as though we had (as Gen. Marshall has since said) out generalled the Enemy--but I was unwilling he should get away without a trial of our strength. Our forces were very much exhausted & our sick list large. I found we had about enough hard bread for 1500 men three days. So I organized an expedition to consist of two movements One of 500 cavalry to pursue the Enemy harass him in the rear, while the infantry should take a circuitous route and if possible flank him (The 40th Ohio, fearing that the retreating Enemy might cut them off if they went, according to orders to Prestonburg-- had [???] aside, and joined me here on Wednesday.) I took 300 picked men from the 40th 42nd Ohio, & 14th Ky respectively and 200 from the 22nd Ky. and with three day's rations of crackers in their haversacks [149]I started on Thursday noon along the river bank toward Prestonburg. The Cavalry went up the Jenny's Creek route. You will understand the routes from the enclosed map When we had marched ten miles, and it was fully dark, as we were ascending a deep gorge we came to a place almost at the crest of the hill where trees had been felled across the road to prevent our passage. [The head of the column halted] Jasper Ross with a small body of scouts was in advance and a few cavalry men with him-- when from behind the fallen trees a volley of a dozen muskets was fired upon them but the balls went whizzing above our heads. Co. A was immediately sent out as skirmishers to clear the coast & we felt our way inch by inch till we reached the mouth of Abbot's Creek, when 200 of the rebel cavalry had been two hours before. I there learned that the whole body of the rebels was encamped three miles above on Abbott's Creek. I took my men up a very high hill and on its top without fire, (for I wanted to keep the Enemy ignorant of our position) the boys bivouaced on their arms. I went to a house and made inquiries of the people about the Enemy & wrote an order, & sent it by a courier to Col Sheldon to follow me, with all haste with every man thatwas able to march, for I then knew that we were within striking distance of the Enemy. Before I had finished my dispatch, a messenger reached me from the cavalry column, saying they had approached near to the rebels who had planted their cannon so as to make the road in rear of them, & he [he] requested a reinforcement. He had sent the request to Col. Sheldon & to me also. At half past twelve o'clock I climbed the hill and rolled myself up in the blanket, while the cold drizzling rain poured down upon us during the whole night. At three in the morning I turned out, and called up the boys--to take their crackers & prepare for the march. I assure you it was a very dreary prospect. The deepest, worst mud I ever saw was under foot and a dense cold fog hung around us as the boys filed slowly down the hill side. We went one mile up Abbott's Creek, built a bridge and crossed over one mile more to the mouth of Middle Creek. On the passage over the ridge, our scouts began to meet theirs and skirmish with them. We moved slowly up Middle Creek, feeling our way by sending scouts on the hills on each side the creek. On the way up, we took one prisoner and two horses. As we passed around a point of hill where a plain stretched away before us, two or three hundred of their cavalry dashed out toward us--but some fell back behind a ridge which ran near half way across the valley. They seemed to be posted behind the ridgein force, and their officers rode up on its point and looked at us through their glasses. I ordered two companies to pass up to a crest that commanded the ridge--and come down & take it if they could if not call for more help. The main body--had to wait in the plain. Meantime, for the sake of [???] and audacity, I ordered a battalion drill--and we formed squares--and wheeled from Column into line--while the long line of our rear was trailing round the hill into the plain. I was willing the rebel officers should see the drill and should see the troops file in--but I did not want them to look till the whole line was in sight. I wanted them to leave off looking when they might have a vague impression of numbers & hosts yet unseen--coming on. So I stationed a sharp shooter to fire at them just before the [???] of our [whole] column have in sight. This drove them back. After a few shots from our scouts [pickets] we advanced and occupied the ridge--whose termination is called "Graveyard Point" As we passed around this point the Enemy's Cavalry were seen in the plain Our scouts crept along its skirts--near the foot of the ridge (666)--(see splendid drawing.) From the Enemy's motions I was satisfied we were near his main body--& I did not want to wait for a long reconnaissance--so I took my cavalry escort--of ten, added a few mounted citizens who were armed and were following with us--and ordered them to charge across the plain--so as to draw the Enemy's fire3/ and thus induce him to reveal his position - They made a very gallant charge along the road half way across the plain, when the whole Va Regiment stationed behind the ridge at G. fired on them, but strangely enough without effect - I immediately ran up Graveyard Point to the rock (A) an isolated crag which gave me a splendid prospect of the plain and all the hills - I sent two Ky companies along the ridge 666 - and two companies under command of Capt. F.A. Williams to forded the creek which was nearly waist deep & passed up the ridge as indicated on the drawing. I gave this command almost the moment after the rebels fired on the cavalry - Hardly a minute more had elapsed when boom went a cannon followed by another throwing a 12 pound shell which struck at H. within two feet of Adjt Olds - who was leading on a company of scouts. The shell tore [of] the earth in the midst of the company, but did not explode. had it done so, it would almost have annihilated the company. The Adjt. remained till he reconnoitered the position and saw the rebel cannon--their cavalry I & their infantry at K.K.K. - He then returned to Graveyard Point. This was about half past twelve - There was then a lull till Capt Williams reached to within thirty rods of F. when a terrible fire opened upon him from the Enemy who had concealed [*150*]themselves behind the ridge and the rocks The Capt rallied Co A around him a & commenced one of the most terrific fights which has been recorded in this war. The Enemy came charging down upon him from F. shouting like demons. They however made this mistake. The ridge was so narrow that not more than two or three companies could fight on it to advantage Capt W's men could nearly all get hidden behind trees, while the rebels came down in such masses as to make a splendid mark for our Hiram boys. After a scattering fire on the ridge 666--the Rebel regiment at G was withdrawn and sent up the hill on the other side of the creek. I then ordered Maj. Pardee with 90 men to cross and support Capt W. He went up along the track [(???)] as indicated in the drawing, but had hardly reached M before a fire was opened upon him all along the ridge L, D, E. The whole ridge swarmed with rebels. Our little force was the focal point in which concentrated the fire from the whole semicircle of hills. The Major pushed on, fighting his way till he joined Capt. W. and both charged forward on the Enemy, who were now so near that the combatants shouted and talked to each other while they fought. When they came so close that the rebels at L o D could not tell whether they were firing on friends or foes, they turnedtheir whole fire upon me and the reserve around me. I have no doubt but that a thousand rifle balls came within a foot of me. They cut the twigs, splintered the rock & cut a canteen which hung beside me. I directed the reserve consisting of 300 men--to fire upon D & L. Such terrific volleys had never seen. The hill trembled under recoil. The Enemy fell back over the ridge but the sharp shooters hidden behind rocks kept up a random firing especially at me and Harry Jones who stood beside me on the rock, and acted as my aide-de-camp during the battle He is brave as a lion. I then sent Col Monroe of the 22nd Ky to cross the creek at the foot of Graveyard Point, and charge up the point C C C C to L & D. There the Enemy holding the two points named and the ridge D D D met the Col. and [???] fierce conflict followed. After one hours constant firing, the Enemy was drawn from those their points to the high rock, E. Before this I had sent Col Cranor 40th Ohio to reinforce Capt Williams and Maj Pardee, and these, fighting most fiercely, drove the Enemy inch by inch back to E. which towered above all our boys. My reserve was now reduced to a mere handful-- & the agony of the moment was terrible the whole hill was enshrouded in such aa column of smoke as rolls from the mouth of a volcanoe, thousands of [???] flashes leaped like lightning from the clouds. Every minute the fight grew hotter. In my agony of anxiety I prayed to God for the [relieve] reinforcement to appear I had sent back word to Col Sheldon to display the banner as his column came in sight. I was just ordering my whole [???] into line and was going to lead them uphill myself when, I looked behind me and saw the Hiram banner sweep round the hill. I shouted to our boys to look. They saw, and such a shout of joy never greeted my ears. The reinforcement on double quick [???] the wild shout--and the fighters on the hills heard, saw and returned an answering shout. The Enemies saw and heard like wise, [and] A rebel Colonel mounted the hill on horseback, and shouted three times, to his men to retreat. Seven Ohio boys leveled their rifles at him and fired Horse and rider tumbled back over the hill. They were driven in dire confusion Night closed in upon us. I did not dare to pursue in the night, lest we should fire upon each other. We brought off our dead and wounded--built our camp fires--and lay down on the field, while the rain and the darkness covered us. Scarcely 4/ had the last gun been fired when a glare of fire lighted up the hill where the Enemys camp had been. He was bringing his baggage and fleeing. He left 85 of his dead on the field. His wounded cannot be less than 150. He has acknowledged 100. In the morning my cavalry came up. [???] had lagged ingloriously behind. I ordered them to pursue. They followed six miles and brought back some prisoners and trophies. I moved the column back and occupied Prestonburg--taking a considerable quantity of stores. But the men were weary almost unto death, & I came back yesterday to this place to recover the strength of my brave boys. What we lost so far is hardly less than a miracle. One only was killed in the field--two have since died of their wounds. Not more than twenty were wounded. Men who have been in other battles say they never saw such fierce and terrible fighting. I can never tell you how full of love and pride my heart is toward our Hiram boys. Men of other regiments--and other States do not hesitate to say they were bravest among the brave. Many of them shotEven when they were faint from the loss of blood-- Gen Marshall sent a letter a few days ago to his wife in which he stated his force in full. He acknowledged having over 4000 men--and a Chief of Engineers--who was a graduate of West Point. I would dearly love to go home and see you. But the men and officer all wan to go-- I know it will not do for me--to leave and I must make up my mind to stay till the war is over. I have written this to be read to all our friends by whom you think whom you think it will be well to be seen--I have had but two letters from you. Do let me hear from you all. Ever Truly Your JamesK I K K G E F ddd D. c c c c c c Plain a b b b b b b b b b b b c c c c c Middle Creek Explanations -------- Road ||||| Rebel Regt Ψ Ψ Ψ Rebel Cannon T T T T Rebel Cavalry a. My position during battle on a high rock ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° My reserve b b b b b - rocky ridge, high- c, c, c, c rocky ridges d d, d " " terminating in D. a high rocky point- E. a very high point - rocky F Rocky Point not so high as D or E ++++++ Capt Williams route ^^^^^^ Maj Pardees " eeeeee Col Monroe's " [152]Prestonburgh. Battle field Middle Creek Abbotts Creek Big Sandy River road marched by our forces our track - - - - - - Cavalry track +++++ Paint Creek Paintville [153]Jan. 18, 1862 My Dear Dear Jamie, Never did one night bring to more hearts in Miriam greater joy than did the last Letters. Letters long and many came to so many homes. than which it seems to [?] more were ever before so eagerly looked for or waited for so impatiently. I dare not tell how glad I was to get your long good letter. I was never so glad to hear from you before and I read as fast as I could with [?] every few moments for the [?] a heart. when I came to that part where [?] the account of the battle, and I watched you through all your brave maneuvers to delude the enemy - the gallant change of your little band across the plains to draw the enemy's fire.Your heroic little Rdf't before the canon's mouth quietly surveying the enemy's camp - then saw you stationed on the rock with Harry Jones beside you sending away the boys you loved so well right into "the Jaws of Death" it seemed to one that I could read no farther and yet I could not stop. and on, on with my heart standing still and the tears gushing out I passed with you through those hours of dreadful agony as you watched the desperate conflict going on - ordering away your Reserve until almost alone you waited and watched with straining eyes for the Hiram banner. O Jamie I scarcely know how you lived through those agonized hours - and how wild must have been that shout of Joy which rang out from your lips when in answer to your to your prayer the bright folds of that banner fluttered into sight. And Jamie you bore yourself so nobly through it all. I know of no higher tribute of praise your brave boys could offer you then they do when in writing home of your daring and masterly generalship they add: and he was so kind to us - so thoughtful for our welfare and comfort, and so careful of our lives. Aunt Catherine says tell you that the people here can never express their gratitude to you for your care and kindness shown to their boys. She says Basil wrote home that it seems that they must have perished from their fatigues had it not been for your kindness to them. - Never before was I so proud of you - never did any heart give to you the homage it now does. I wish you could come home. I never wanted to kiss and love and pet your half somuch before. Little Trot wants to see you too. She was sitting on my lap this evening and I was petting her and calling her "Little precious" when she called out with her little piping voice "Paper". I have not the least doubt but she remembers you, and thinks about you. She has almost entirely recovered from the measles but has not quite regained her good humor. She gets off some as pure specimens of spunk as you can well conceive of. When do you think you can come home! Will the rebel Marshall dare come back again? If not how long must you remain there! All the friends send love and congratulations. Give my love to Harry James and all the brave 42nd whom I know. Yours most fondly Crete. This is the fifth letter I have sent you since you went into KentuckyMiriam Jan. 25, 1862 My Dear Jamie, Today is the first for a whole week that a ray of sunshine has appeared. It has been the deadest week I ever knew. A week ago a freezing rain cased every thing in ice and there has been neither storm nor wind nor sunshine since but the sky has been overcast with dull leaden clouds - the atmosphere damp and chilling and everything beneath and around not only ice bound but ice clad. Today the sun and wind are melting and wrenching off the fetters and our spirits begin to feel some of the joy of life coming back again. I did not receive any letter from you last night as I hoped; but Miss. Booth tells me that she received one thenight before, and that you had been flat on your back for several days with a return of your old complaint. I was afraid of it still I was hoping that your good health for the last two or three months would warrant you against a return of it. The Louisville Journal has taken it upon itself to give you several - which since your fight and finally has spread itself in glowing [?] upon your "eagle swoop" but I fear if it should learn of your condition since, it would feel like reiterating some of the many jokes in which it indulged at the expense of poor Price and its praising be turned, turned to [?]. But really I am very sorry for you and [?] about you and tell Harry James that I place upon him the responsibility of making you take your medicine until you are thoroughly cured. By the way also tell him that I have answered his letter. There is great complaint here that letters from here do not reach you. In your last you say you have received only his from me. I have sent you five already this makes the sixth one also to Harry James and one to North Clapp. I have been somewhat at loss to know how best to appropriate the money you sent by Will. Father has suggested that I let John have enough of it to pay up for his Chicago lot and take a mortgage on the lot as security. The remaining $150,00 yet unpaid for the lot is not due until a year from next spring; but the man who holds the note writes him that if he can pay him $125,00 now, he will give up the note and the interest which now amount to about five dollars. John was to pay for the lot $350,00 [?] at this time says it is worth at least $200,00 and as soon as the times change any for the better will probably be worth a good deal more. Shall he hesitate very much about taking the money lest you think it a poor investment. Father says he will be Security as long as he has any property and on the whole I think perhaps the security is about as good as any one can give in these times. [?] me just what you think about it. Harry lent twenty dollars of the sixty you sent by him before he got home to Wallace Ford. Wall promised him to pay me as soon as he came back, but he now asks that I let him have it till Spring at ten percent interest. He gives his note. With the rest I have paid debts taxes [?] I have been as - as I know how to be, but find that the debt - at with what - back when you last settled with him amounts to $58.57 I have used $33.57 of the $180,00 to pay up that. I owe Miss. Booth $20.00 yet. I have been taking painting lessons which - tuition and materials - has cost me about $15.00, but I thought you would not think that a bad investment. So much for our [?iary] affairs. Little Trot is well - now lies sleeping in the bed beside me. There will be a great many funny and serious things to talk about and laugh over when you come home, for now goodbye. Yours most lovingly, Crete.Head Quarters 18th Brigade Camp Buell. Paintville Ky Jan 26. 1862 My Dear Crete. Your good letter, accompanied by the elegant little gift for my wrists was duly recd. I cannot tell you how much pleasure it gives me to catch now and then a glimpse of home, through the medium of your letters. I do hope you will make them more frequent, even though mine are not as thickly down through the months as we would both desire. Think of it; I have received but three letters from you since I left Champ Chase. I have never been so shut out form the world before, & you can hardly understand it when I tell you that it is quite a relief for me to get hold of a paper two weeks old. This country is terribly broken up in its social and commercial relations. There has not been a regular mail to this place since the first of last September. The only way we get our mail is by hiring a messenger to make a trip of 60 miles after it. For several days after the battle I was quite sick but I am much better now, indeed nearly well. I have now fixed my Head Quarters with a wealthy Farmer, and have a fine room--and am getting along nicely. [x] [154]Gen Marshall's Brigade seems to be dissolved. He retreated eight miles the evening that the battle closed, and turned on twelve mile more the next day - There he trotted a few days I was preparing my stores and getting ready to follow him, when his two Virginia Regiments left and went to Va - and the remainder of his force retreated to Whilesbury near the Sonuduy Gap. I have sent out two small expeditions to cut off some small bands of regels in the neighborhood of Grayton - on the little Landay. and Piketon on the Big Landay - This done, and I cannot see much else for us to do here unless Marshall should get reinforced and return, which I dont believe he dare try again. I believe I have never made a more favorable impression of myself than I have upon the Ky Regiments under my command and upon the citizens of this valley. They have the most extravagant notions of my doings here - and here after -. Marshall, I find had a wonderful reputation, in the South. He is a graduate of West Point - was a Col in the Mexican War - won great honors at the Battle of BuenaVista was a long time in Congress - was minister to Russia &c &c - I should suppose he would feel exceedingly mortified at the result of his campaign in Ky - Gen Buell sent me an intercepted letter from Marshall to his wife in which he stated his force to be 5000 and rapidly increasing. He had an engineer - (A West Pointer) who laid out his fortifications for him. I hope some day we will go up this valley together and visit all these places. I Can never tell you about them so that you can appreciate them as you can see them - It may be that one shall stay here in Winter Quarters - though I have not yet received orders from Gen Buell - I have had a new adventure lately. There were some from days and nights of most violent rains - and the river was so swollen that steamboats dare not come up. Indeed it was a fearful sight. The river raised nearly 50 feet We were getting short of provisions - I went down to Collettesburg last Sunday - and ordered our boats to go up at once. The Captains of boats said it was impossible to go up and the attempt would be dangerous in the extreme. They utterly refused to try. I took command of a little Steam boat - and on Monday, 3. o'clock P.M. started, against the warning of all the boatmen - I found thatmy old Canal experience was then very valuable to me. I took the helm - and stood at it night and day - with the exception of about six hours - till Wednesday near noon - when we reached this place with a load of provisions just as the last was being eaten - There were a few times in the night - in the midst of the fearful current, and the drift of fallen trees sweeping down when we came very near sinking - Once the current whirled us entirely around and drove us forty rods down stream before we could stop. The men on board implored me to stop but, I thought that our boys might be striving - and I had some pride to do what I had undertaken & I pushed on. So you see I have turned sailor at last - I have to day written a long letter to mother. I hope she is not feeling uneasy about me for I think we shall have but little more fighting for some time. I want you to tell me all about our precious little "Trot". Give my love to Father & Mother & Nell - I want to hear from them all. I ask what I believe I never did before, the news of the neighborhood. Send me copies of the Portage Democrat - I don't see it - Ever & forever Your James -[*Parishville Ky*] Hiram Feb. 2nd 1862 Letter No. 7 My Dear Jamie, Hereafter I shall number any letters so that when you do receive one you may know that it is through no neglect on my part that you do not receive them oftenest. I write to you every week and will con- tinue to do so unless I have to wait over too many hearing from you. Last night I went to bed fully resolved that not a word you should have from me today. The maid had come , but brought nothing from you and two long weeks had passed since it had. My throat was very sore and beginning to swell - which looked very much like Diphtheria and I felt sick and tired all over so went off to bed to let sleep and a piece of fat pork camemy heart aches and throat aches. I was just dropping off into my first slumbers when a vision of mother coming through the door with a letter from you made me open my eyes wide. Sherman Leech had come home and just sent your letter up to me. Mother sat by me until I read it through then took it down for your mother - She is with us now - and herself to read. This morning my heart aches were all gone and my throat very much better; but before I was dressed your mother was up here exclaiming "what a venturesome thing that was for him to do"! She admitted however that it was just like you to do it, and I think she felt proud of you for it. I did. and every word that comes from your camp makes me prouder of you. You are just as big and good "as you can shirk" and I can't help but cry when I think about it. Your boys almost worship you and well they may when you will so imperil your life to prevent them from suffering. This result of your "canal experience" comes home to me with a strange power. That has ever been to me one of the inexplicable passages in your life so entirely one side from all that your life has since resulted in and so little to the purpose. Now it seems one of the great lessons of a far seeing Providence in which it was to rest the preservation from suffering of so many lives. Surely [panic?] you are not the one to doubt that our Heavenly Father watched over each individual of us guiding and guarding us through each seperate act and condition of our lives. You must indeed be reduced to an extremity if neighborhood gossip could interest you. I promise not to comfort you with it however for my own relish for it has never been very keen. andI have on hand only a very limited quantity. In fact the war is the all prevailing topic of conversation in whatever circle you may go, and neighborhood affairs are ruled out as of little note. There have been two deaths in the vicinity lately. A week ago last wednesday - Ellen Parker of Typhoid Fever, and yesterday Mrs. Erastus Bates of Consumption. Edward Nolall was married a few weeks since, I have forgotten his wife's name. She was a poor girl who has lived with Mr. Leech's people, and from some appearances I judge Aunt Phebe's aristocratic notion of are not very much gratified She and Uncle Alvah live by themselves in the parlor. Ed. and his wife occupy the kitchen and the sitting room is a common parlor for both families. Joe writes that he has found substitutes for himself and James and that as soon as they arrive at camp they, he and James - are to be discharged - instead of transferred - to enlist again in the 42nd. Joe has worked away with real Dutch perseverance all winter for this, and quite to our surprise seems about to succeed - If he does we want5 very much that he should come home and stay while before he goes to the 42nd. You want to hear all about little Trot. Bless the little darling I scarcely know what to write. She does no very remarkable things which would seem very much if written about still I can see that she is constantly increasing in intelligence and she does a great many things every day which you would love so much to see. I do not think she grows large very much. It seems to me she is no larger than when you went away. I don't know but she is going to be a little lady like her Grandmere. I wrote to you a few weeks ago asking you if you knew of any position in your Regiment for John. I don't know whether it was in one of the letters you have received or not. You have written nothing about it [213] and perhaps you forgot it even if you received the letter in which I mentioned it. If you will please write whether there is any prospect or not he will feel obliged to you. He does not wish you to make yourself any trouble about it or give him a place which others are deserving more. still if you had a place which he might as well fill as any one and which you would like him to have he would be glad of it. Prospects for all kinds of business are very [dull?] still he does not quite think it his duty to enlist as a private with the expectation of remaining one for three years. I hope you will receive this and all my other letters for it is a pity that so much valuable literature should be lost or fall into the hand of the secessionists. I am glad you are so comfortably situated and hope you are taking good care of yourself. Yours with all my heart Crete. Mary Mason writes that the Illinois people are loud in their praises of your Generalship. Head Quarters 18th Brigade Camp Buell. Feb 15. 1862 My Dear Crete I will begin this letter with a chapter of ailments. With the exception of a few days just after the battle I have been very well indeed until about twelve days ago, when I began to feel the effects of vaccination. I had been exposed to the small pox - and was vaccinated immediately after. I had been very much worn down by working several nights in getting our boats loaded and had taken a severe cold. I had the most excruciating pain in my head, and back and indeed through all my bones - Then the camp fever set in, and dried up the pustule before it had matured. I have only been able to sit up [for] till three or four days ago. I am now quite weak, and find I have lost much flesh. With the exception of pains in my bones, which appear to be rheumatic, I am now quite recovered. During much of that time, I kept up my business by dictating letters and giving orders out till three days ago I was not able to carry a pen with steadiness. There! I hope not use up another page in telling my sorrows. I am moving the Brigade on to Piketon, and as soon as I can get ready shall move in to the Pound Gap when there is said to be a force of the rebels, holding that pass through the Cumberland Mountains. [*155*]A late letter from Gen Buell intimates that as soon as the soil of Eastern Ky is entirely cleared of rebels. I with a part of the Brigade would be called to another field. I hope this may be so. I will not trouble you with a history of the peculiar difficulties which surround me in this valley. Just now for instance the water in the river is so low that boats cannot go up. There is now a considerable snow on the ground and it is quite cold. If the river should freeze up it would be a terrible thing for us. We are quite at the mercy of this river, and we have had the most favorable winter for good water that has been known in this valley for many years. Unconsciously to myself I have scribbled away [???] on things gloomy and distressful. The fact is I have, for a few days, been feeling more depressed than at any time since I entered the Service. For many reasons, personal to myself I have been feeling that I would be glad to be out of the perplexities of of war--and enter again the pursuits of peace--but I am perfectly aware that a few weeks of quiet would make me desirous of being in the strife again. Still I have no expectation of abandoning the fight until it or I am done. There are many indications now which seem to me to show that the rebellion is soon to be crushed. Many think the war will be over by June. I, of course, am not so sanguine as to hope that--but think will be shorter than I had supposed. Your two good letters of Jan 25th and Feb 3rd came by the same mail and were received about five days ago while I was sick. I think our mails are now more done, and we shall receive letters more certainly than hitherto. You had better direct to Catlettsburg for our communications are now more direct with that place than any other. Or perhaps you had better direct to Piketon, via Catlettsburg. I was very much struck by your remark concerning my canal experience It does indeed seem to be a strange part of my history and did not seem to subserve any purpose in the general plan, but if I had not understood the management of a boat, and that too in a degree better than most boatmen, no amount of will power on my part could have got that load of provisions up to the boys--they must have suffered. There have been a great many instances in this campaign which are either special providences or very wonderful coincidences. I am inclined to believe the former. I am growing deeply anxious to know how our darling little Trot is developing. I can't tell you how much I desire to see you both. Have you established such a relation between yourself and her as will lay the basis of both strong control and equally strong affection. I beg you to guard your heart--and not let her get so long an arm of the lever as to develop her power to the prejudice of discipline and control. I dare not hope that many children will come up, with as much will and as little restraint as I did, without being ruined. You say she shows a great power of will. I amglad of it It is very necessary to give point and force to her character. But what was an aid to a thunderball of boy like me, would make her unlovely. Tell all about the terms of your acquaintance with her. Is she being petted a good deal by others? That way lies great danger. Your task with her is harder than mine with the Brigade. In regard to the loan to John, you may do as you please. Take a note with your father as joint signer, & it will all be right. I fear my Mecca matters will sweep off what little we have. I shall no doubt come out of the war--not more than even with the world. That gives me a great deal of anxiety. I cannot endure the thought of not having a fund in store for Trot's education. Should anything befal me--I leave [that] it as the concentrated sum of my most earnest wishes that she be provided with means for education of the most liberal kind. I have no fears but that it will be done in some way but, I feel so great an anxiety to have part in it--to leave some of my own hand & heart prints in her nature and education. What do you think are the prospects of the Eclectic. It would be a great grief to me, to have that school dwindle away. Write me fully about it, and give me a look from the inner temple. I tell you Crete there is infinitely more satisfaction in feeling that we are [embalmed?] in the hearts of those we have benefitted and blessed, than to be in the blaze of a sort of fame, which has only the blaze of trumpets and the breath of words. But here I am again--letting the dusk run down through my fingers. I may as well confess that this enervated feeling of bodily weakness has left me in the valley. I will be on the hill tops again soon.....It is not now in my powers to do anything for John but it may be by and by. If so I shall be most happy to do so. Give my love to him and Trot--and all the rest. Ask Harry if he don't think we can make some terms of settlement with Cowdrey and those others in Mecca whom we owe. Ever and forever Yours JamesHead Quarters 18th Brigade Piketon. Feb 23rd 1862- My Dear Crete. It seems to be my fortune to have a constant round of strange adventures. While I was sick, I kept [the] moving the Brigade company by company forward to this place & when four days ago I got well enough to make it prudent for me to leave--I had the 22nd Ky the 40th Ohio--one company of cavalry--and six companies of the 42nd--already up here The river had been greatly swollen by rains and a large steamer came up easily over the shallowest places. Still the river was falling. We were detained by breaks in the machinery so that we did not get here until yesterday at 10 o'clock A.M. It had commenced to rain at 4 o'clock in the morning and continued to rain in fearful torrents till near midnight last night. I have never seen the fearfulness of water before I detailed 200 men to take our stores further up the bank and save them. We commenced early in the evening and worked till after midnight. I was conquered for the first time. In one hour the water rose twelve feet. It surrounded the camp of the 40th and they [186]barely had time to get away their guns and ammunition, and save themselves. This morning discloses a fearful scene. The house where I am staying, which is sixty feet above the usual level of the river is now surrounded. A wild river roars around it on all sides. It is forty rods to the shore. Two large steamboats are up in the principal street of the village House--stacks of wheat & hay, gigantic trees saw-logs, fences--and all things that float are careening by with with fearful velocity. The terrified people of the village have fled to the hills where they could, or have carried their goods to the upper rooms of their dwellings and are waiting, [???] stricken, the mercy of the flood. At day break, I got a horse & rode through a current which came very near sweeping me away--to look after the safety of [the] my dear 42nd. I found them safe but Capt Williams' tent was out of sight under water. The noble fellows had given up most of their tents, which were on tolerably high ground to the women and children, who had fled, from their houses. Co. A. and two others of the 42nd are surrounded, on an island adjoining the one on which I am. Most of the tents of the 40th are gone. All are under water. Many horse are drowned. I hope no men are lost. I presume $50,000 will not near repair our loss. It is a strange place to be in, where one is utterly powerless to do anything. I hope the flood has reached its [height?]. Three inches more and it will swash through the room where I am sitting. I tremble for the sickness and suffering which must follow. Four battles would not be so disastrous to us. I am very much worn down, but my anxiety for the boys--and the immense amount of work to be done in consequence of the flood will I think, keep me from being sick. I have sent for the steamers yawls to get up a line of communication with the different parts of the Brigade They will be at the door soon. I am stopping with disciple family--the finest in the place--but they are all secessionists. It is one of the painful facts of the rebellion that nearly all the most cultivated and enlightened people in this country, at least--are on the side of the rebellion. This probably grows out of the fact that the leaders of the rebellion were the aristocrats of the South, and they have led off that element with them. The men are as well as could be expected insuch a country. Poor Baldwin Bently is gone. He was a noble, brave boy. I cannot tell you how that regiment grows into my affections. Every hardship they suffer makes them dearer to me. The latest news we have, gives me hope that the end of the war is not far off. It would be so great a good, if the grand army of the valley could take Nashville & sweep up the great rebel road--let us join it at Abingdon--and make an attack from the rear--on Richmond and the Potomac. But let us have patience. I expect never to see you till the war closes--so let us hope that the blood that must be shed--may flow fast, and finish this terrible work. But I would rather it should flow for seven years in redding torrents, than that the great national question should not be gloriously, fully and finally settled - - - The water has begun to fall. The sun is breaking out, and is gilding the devastation. I must take the yawl which is now coming and gather up the fragment which the the anger of the River God has left us. Try to tell Trot how much I love her--and how I long to take her in my arms again. I have not heard from you in a long time. The communication will be very slow now. It is 100 miles in a direct line to the Ohio--140 by river. Do write me often. You have no idea how much I long for letters. Give my love, to all our family & friends--& remember now as ever your affectionate and flooded Jamesmovement, and recklessness of opposing odds, Col. Garfield certainly bears off the palm. It is to be hoped that this second repulse of the rebels from the Big Sandy will convince them that it is useless to contend against loyalty on the soil of Kentucky. We append the official reports received at Gen Buell's head-quarters in this city: PAINTSVILLE, Jan. 8. Captain J. B. Fry, A. A. G.: I entered this place yesterday with the 42d regiment Ohio, 14th regiment Kentucky, and 300 of the 2d Virginia cavalry. On hearing of my approach the main rebel force left their strongly entrenched camp and fled. I sent my cavalry to the mouth of Jenny's, where they attacked and drove the rebel cavalry, which had been left as a vanguard, a distance of five miles, killing three and wounding a considerable number. Marshall's whole army is now flying in utter confusion. He has abandoned and burned a large amount of his stores. We have taken fifteen prisoners. Our loss was two killed and one wounded. I start in pursuit to-morrow morning. J. A. GARFIELD, Col. Com'g Brigade. HEAD-QUARTERS 18TH BRIGADE, } PRESTONBURG, KY., Jan. 11, 1862. } Captain J. B. Fry, A. A. G.: I left Paintsville on Thursday noon with eleven hundred men, and drove in the enemy's pickets two miles below Prestonsburg. The men slept on their arms. At four o'clock yesterday morning we moved towards the main body of the enemy at the forks of Middle Creek, under command of Marshall. Skirmishing with his outposts began at eight o'clock, and at one o'clock P. M. we engaged his force of 2,500 and three cannon posted on [the] [*a*] hill fought them until dark, having been reinforced by seven hundred men from Paintsville and drove the enemy from all [their] [*his*] positions. He carried off the majority of his dead and all his wounded. This morning we found twenty-seven of his dead on the field; his killed cannot be less than sixty. We have taken twenty-five prisoners, ten horses, and a quantity of stores. The enemy burned most of his stores and fled precipitately in the night. To-day I have crossed the river and am now occupying Prestonburg. Our loss is two killed and twenty-five wounded. J. A. GARFIELD, Col. Com'g Brigade. [*157*][*Catlettsburg KY*] Hiram Feb. 23. 1862 My Dear Jamie: It is three weeks since I have received a word from you. I have written twice since and I do not know why you do not write again to me. I am told that you have been sick but letters to Alameda and Harry received several days ago testify that you are again able to write. I want a letter from you very much and I feel that you ought to have gratified me with one as soon at least as you did any one else. You ask me to write to you very often but I am sure if you desired my letters one half as much as I do yours you would not so neglect me. I have staid away from church to day because I am too [*215*] others were baptized. Loving you as ever, Crete.proud to give the answer I must to the numerous inquiries after you. Little Trot has not been well for a week past. The measles have left her systems in a bad condition but I hope that "little pills" and "water" will bring her around all right. She is getting to talk some more and amuses us very much sometimes. She manages to make us understand nearly all she tries to - that she cannot find words for she expresses with her pretty little gestures. Both for her sake and yours do I regret that you must be separated from her so much. But I hope it may not long be so. Our rapid successes commencing with your rout of Marshall seem to promise a more speedy termination of the contest than we had dared hope for before. Stanton has been showing wherein lay our weakness if not our strength, and if he pushes on the work as he has commenced will soon show how utterly powerless is this wicked rebellion. I suppose you are pushing on towards Tennessee before this, but I have little fear that your progress will be intercepted by Sir Humphrey again, all the rebel movements now show that [?] has seized them, and it begins to seem that they will not dare to make another stand. - The winter term has closed [again] and the few who have been here are away again. Bushe has gone not to come back and it makes us all feel sad he felt so bad about going. He is going to teach for awhile near Wadsworth and then go away to College. The report came very straight to us that he and Mary are to be married this spring. I hope it is not so farI do not think Burke is ready to be married yet. I have grown very much attached to him during the last year. He shows so much more warm and intense feeling than we had supposed him capable of. Last Sunday was a sad day for us all. When the news came that Baldwin was dead we felt that indeed to our own hearts was brought home the crushing sorrow which this terrible war is bringing home to so many hearts. I thought of you and felt that to none outside his circle of dearest relatives [would] did his death bring a more cruel grief. From the papers we learn that you have been appointed Brigadier General. I congratulate you on your promotion and trust that you may as nobly maintain your new position as you have bravely won it. Jamie please write to me oftener. I can not feel that you care very much for my Letters when you are so rarely in your replies. We had a very good meeting while Bro. Hayden was here. Miss Morton Eva Harris and several[Feb'y 24? 62?] Dear Jimmie: Present my kindest regards to your friend and thanks [him] for his kind and generous letter to you. I receive no letter from you yet. Are you sick again? I am tortured with all kind of anxieties. Almost four weeks have passed since I have heard from you Yours as ever Crete.[*Catlettsburg KY*] Hiram March 2nd 1862 My Dear Jimmie I cannot tell how glad I was last thursday night to receive another letter from you. So many nights had gone by without one that I almost began to feel that I never should hear again. Notwithstanding your numerous apologies for the desponding tone of your letter, I loved it more than any you have sent me for a long time - not that I desire you to be sad or dispirited but when you are I would far rather you should confide it to me than try and conceal it. I love to have you reveal to me your inner life it gives me a feeling of nearness to you that nothing else can. I think there have been no letters received here from your Regiment written [*216*]later than your last, and I feel a great deal of anxiety lest you are suffering. It has been quite cold ever since and I cannot but fear that the river is frozen and you are all ice bound with nothing to eat. My inclination to look ever on the bright side keeps me still hoping that all is right with you still I am more troubled about you than I have been before since you went away. I do hope "something will turn up" very soon to call you to a more desirable region. Perhaps the war will close and you can come home If our army accomplishes as much this month as during the past month it seems as though there will not be much left of the rebellion. It was rumored yesterday that the fight at Manassas was beginning. Telegrams announce that our forces have occupied Harper's Ferry and Charlestown. Almost every night now brings us tidings of some new success of our arms and strengthens the hope of a quick return to us of our loved ones. My heart aches for those to whom the loved will never come back while I pray that mine may be spared; and I believe you will be spared if for nothing more - that you may know and enjoy the love of your precious little Trot and help her on in life's way with your love and kindness. Jamie there is nothing life has ever given me which brings to my heart such a perfection of happiness as does her little pure love. It seems to me that there is between us such a peaceful perfect quiet recognition of all the hidden emotions of our hearts that I often feel like treating her more as a companion and equal than a little child, and there are times when she seems to understand my thoughts with so much intelligence that I can scarcely realize she is a child. One evening when we hadcompany she was sitting with some one and as I passed her she put out her little hands. I was too busy to take her but took her hand a moment she looked up into my face with such [little] intelligent little smile and there was so much confidence and love shining out from the depth of her dark beautiful eyes that my heart thrilled with a joy which I felt the coming years would bring when she should be indeed not [only] the child but the sweet companion of our hearts. Do not think I am blinded and can see nothing but perfection in the dear little creature. I see her as she is; but a little wayward mischievous child generally; needing constant care and control and while I almost adore all those little manifestations which show the development of her in her life I watch with a constant anxiety the development of all that is untoward in her nature and try to5 exercise due control over it, and I think that I do. She indeed a good deal of will and spirit, but I have never failed to control it when I have tried, and without much trouble. To give you a little idea of her every day management I will tell you of some of her performances. I was putting up the dishes after supper a night or two since when she came into the room. Pretty soon she ran out saying "Ah ant show bapa" I want to show grandpa "See bapa" - I give you her pronunciation as nearly as I can. I followed her into the sitting room and found her showing grandpa the cream pitcher. A little while after she came to me and said "saw saw". I told her I could not understand. Then she looked up and spatted her little hands together. I could not understand, so she dipped one little forefinger into the palm of her other hand and then rubbed her teeth with it: She wanted salt to clean her teeth. She cleans her teeth every morning when I [*217*]to holding her finger still and shaking her head. This morning she wanted to see papa and I showed her the locket. - I always tell her to kiss it. This morning she took it very daintily in her little fingers and looked up for me to tell her to kiss, but I thought I would try her and see if she would without being told. She looked a moment then kissed it very prettily and put it up to my lips. - There is a long letter in the last Chronicle from A.S. Hall. - telling of his own doings where the ego stood out in bold relief. True it was said to be a private letter to a friend; but it was such a letter as you would not write to your most confidential friend. I presume A.S. is showing himself a brave little Major; but it was very bad taste for his friend to have had such a letter from him published. Jamie I felt proud that I was honored with a place beside you rather than him when I read that letter. Joe came home yesterday. Will stay a few days then away to the 42nd. If you were here now our family would all be together once. Joe is expecting a letter from you. All unite in best love to you. My love to Harry Jones and tell him I will answer his letter soon. Most fondly your Crete.[*Piketon Ky*] [*[Mr. 9, 1862]*] Hiram Sunday morn. 9th March My Dear Jamie I am just out of bed waiting for the room and water to warm for a bath - Do you enjoy any such luxury now? - and will commence a letter to you with the rising of this bright March sun and the first robin's song of the season. The old Winter king seemed angry that he allowed us to pass so quietly and comfortably through his domain and has been sending on after us his storm legions with snow and tempest; but he is growing weary of his wrath and is leaving us to enjoy again the songs of birds and the bright suns of early Spring. How I wish you were at home again. The hours of your absence begin to grow long and my [*218*] her mental growth now. I noticed a few days ago that her retentive organs were beginning to develop, and it makes her forehead look still more like yours. Do write to me as often as you can dear Jamie. It seems to me I can not wait more than a week for a letter. Ever your loving Crete. We had the children vaccinated yesterday. You would have laughed to have heard Trot squeal.resolution to grow not weary in waiting begins to waver. Instead of looking over the time to your coming I find myself looking through it and counting wearily the weeks and months that may intervene. Dear Jimmie will it not be the gladest day of our lives--the one most full of deep tranquil joy-- when with this wicked rebellion crushed and peace reigning within our borders--you can come home to be ours again. But I will try and be patient. Nashville is ours. Columbia is ours--and surely the end comes nearer, but I find people are everywhere trembling for the Potomac. They feel that--notwithstanding the evacuation of those places where they supposed the enemy would surely make a stand--they will not give up Manassas without a fight. It is believed now that they are concentrating the majority of their force there with a desperate determination to make that the Waterloo of the Rebellion. True it will not be that to us; for the cause of humanity must triumph eventually still a defeat there would place the termination--of the war very much farther in the future-- and call for new and larger sacrifices both of life and property than have yet been made. Will Clapp reached home last night-- I have not seen him yet but hear that he did not leave you floating down the Big Sandy as we might have feared from your last letter. I scarcely know what can keep you from suffering with the great losses you have sustained and the slow means you have for obtaining supplies. How do you feel staying with a secession family? Not only must there be an entire want of sympathy between you but a feeling on their part at least well might to bitter animosity toward you holding the command of a[n] hostile army quartered upon them. I received a letter from Mrs. Cox a few days since. She wishes to be remembered to you and her thanks presented for the kind things you wrote of her to her husband. Gen. Cox was at home awhile this winter but has now returned to his command. - John would have had a company of teamsters for your Brigade if we had seen the Quarter Master's advertisement soon enough. As soon as he did see it he got posters printed, and had found several men when he heard that the 100 men called for were so nearly made out that he could not get his men in soon enough. I was sorry for I think John would make a first rate wagon master. He understands managing teams pretty well and is active and ingenious in mending and fixing up in case of an adventure. - Little Trot tries to show that she loves you whether she can understand that you love her or not. Friday night I received a letter from you and she took it and kissed it ever so many times without being told to do so. She would look at it and say papa papa then press a kiss from her sweet little lips upon it. It is a great pleasure to watchHead Quarters 18th Brigade Piketon. Ky. March 11th 1862 My Dear Crete. Yours of Feb 24th is just received. There has been no mail - except a few stray letters for nearly three weeks. The terrible state of the river and the weather, have made it nearly impossible for me to get or send news. Till yesterday our latest papers were Feb 25th. I cannot comprehend why you had not received my letter. There has been no gap between them as long as the time you stated, though there was a space of nearly two weeks in which we got no regular mail sent to the Ohio. So far as our stores are concerned, we are rapidly recovering from the effects of the flood. but we are suffering terribly in health in consequence of the exposure incident to the high waters. There has never been so fearful a condition as our sick list now exhibits. It is really alarming. There are over 400 sick in the Hospital at Ashland - and I am this morning sending nearly sixty more. I hope you will not mention this outside the family - I am doing everything in my power to aid those who are sick, and to prevent the well from falling sick. But this country is stripped of every comfort - We need relishes - like pickles [*158*] [*I have not time to read this over.*]Sour-Kraut --and other antiscorbutics, but not a thing of the kind can be got here. Fifty have died within the last four weeks, twenty-two of them from the 42nd Regt. I declare to you there are fathers and mothers in Ohio that, I hardly know how I can ever endure to meet. [them]. A noble young man from Medina County [day] died a few days ago. I enlisted him, but not till I had spent two hours in answering the objection of his father, who urged that he was too young to stand the exposure. He was the only child, I cannot feel myself to blame in the matter, but I assure you I would rather fight a battle than to meet his father. Two Hiram boys came to me last night, in tears, and besought me to send them home. [that] They said they had been taking the Doctor's medicine for several days and were getting no better. They all have a terrible dread of the Hospital. Capt. Williams came with them. He broke down, and cried too. I told the boys, I had been wrestling with sickness myself as with a grand enemy and they must do the same. I talked to them till they felt brave, and then sent them to Capt Williams tent to have him bathe them, soak their feet - and give them Hygiene pills. I am glad to say they are better this morning. They are Cyrus Mead and Chapman. A large number of officers are sick. I dare not tell you how small a number of that noble regiment can be mustered for duty. This fighting with disease is infinitely more horrible than battle. We have had but little snow till since March came in. For two weeks we have had mingled snow, and rain - and horrible mud - I am [am] alarmed, but not discouraged - I dare not be that. I hope, and with grounds for it - that April, at least, will bring us settled weather, and restored health. I suppose we are not worse off, perhaps not so bad as those in the Great Valley. This is the great price of saving the Union. My God - what a costly sacrifice. When I read how considerately, and with what distinguished attention, the Government is treating the Rebel officers, who are now prisoners of war, I am fired with the deepest indignation. The 1200 Rebel officers who were allowed to wear their side arms, and be attended into Camp Chase by their slaves - and then find fault that "Gentlemen were put into such a muddy and uncomfortable camp" - and when I remember, that that camp was good enough for me and my noble boys to drill in for three months and nobody complained that we were ill used - If the severest vengeance of outraged and insulted law is not visited upon those cursed villains who have instigated and led this rebellion it will be the most wicked crime that can be committed. The blood of hundreds of the 18th Brigade will before summer, be crying from the ground to God - for vengeance - I don't want you to feelalarmed to the extent that our present condition would indicate - for I have great faith in the power of will to resist disease. Particularly I desire that you shall not feel alarmed for me. The efforts I am making and must make to strengthen others will. I believe, keep me well - I have now accomplished all in this valley I was ordered to. I have written to Gen Buell for further instructions. On my approach to this place, the remnant of Marshall's force fled through the Pound Gap - and is now scattered all the way from Gladesville to Abingdon. I have not yet received official notification of my promotion, but presume the accounts of the matter are correct - I am very sad at the thought of being more widely separated from the 42nd. Indeed it has been a serious question with me, whether I would accept or not, though I presume I shall. I have been doing the duties of the position ever since I came here - I enclose a note to J. I shall have his name added to the rolls. Tell him to bring a large supply of Hygiene pills with him - Also tell him to buy De Harts work on Court Martials - for me - I hope you and Trot are well. How are treating her health? There is much danger of being over cautious of her. The half naked half starved children of this valley are rarely sick Don't make her a house plant - Tell me all about it - Give my love to the family and all who inquire - Ever and forever Your James.[*18th Brigade Ky*] Hiram March 16th 1862 My Dear Jamie: I will fancy the letter you commenced writing me to send by Will Clapp received - its precious words of love - for which my eye darted forward through each line to catch - all treasured in my heart of hearts, and with my own heart all full of tenderness and love for you. I sit here again to write to you desiring more than words can tell that you were near me to let your words give rest to the busy pen as you talk of yourself and all your doings and of our little birdie girl. She improves so fast now that her life is to me an ever increasing joy. I have never before so watched the growth of a [*220*]child, and I almost start with wonders sometimes at the rapidity and vigor with which advancement is made. All through the winter I could not see that she changed very much, but for the last two weeks it has seemed as though every day found her in a new and wider field, gathering rare treasures from the world of beauty around her--and some from the world of mischief within her. But there is no advancement or growth of hers that pleases me more or amuses me so much as as that which shows the paternal element in her nature. Shall I give you an example? This morning while preparing for church she climbed up to the bureau. I was busy and did not pay much attention to her only to take her down two or three times. She saw of course that I was not thinking any thing about what she was doing and so climbed right up again. Finally I began to feel annoyed and set her down on the floor rather decidedly with a stern "deep down". She turned her little inquisitive eyes up to my face with a look which said "I guess you are in earnest now. Very well". A little after I looked around and she was sitting up before the stove on the floor with both her little feet on the [hearth] hearth--half as high as her head--her hands resting in her lap, and on her face the most demure expression you can imagine--James Garfield to perfection--especially in her attitude in one of his most nonchalant moods. Tuesday eve. Joe starts tomorrow for the 42nd. I have felt scarcely more sad since you went away than to night. How long must we wait for this cruel wicked war to end, and how many more must fall victimsto its terrors. If you are spared to come back to me I shall feel that you have indeed come back from the grave.--But I will try to be brave yet a little longer-- hoping and waiting. I want very much to send you something that you would love as a remainder of home but can think of nothing that you would care for. A few of the latest papers I send as they will probably reach you before they would in the mail. If you have $50.00 or less that you do not know how to dispose of please send them to me by Mr. Baldwin or someone returning. It is nearly time for Spring purchases and though I do not intend to spend so much at present I may want it before you have another as good opportunity to send. Do write me letters as often as you can. I want them so much. I know that you are extremely busy and often when you have leisure are too weary to write. But sit down and move your pen along with whatever thoughts happen to be passing through your mind. I would love some of your [???] nonsense. Alexander and Cordelia were here to day for dinner on their way home from Trumbull and Mahoning, with all our love yours now and forever Crete & Trot Steam Boat Piketon- Big Sandy River March 19th 1862 My Dear Crete - I will try to scratch you a few words as well as the jiggling of this little boat will let me - On Monday evening I returned from the expedition to the Pound Gap - It was one of the dreariest [???nd] -- the most dreadful state of weather we have had yet. I took two infantry and one hundred cavalry. I [tended?] the 14th went 15 miles the first day & 21 the second - It rained and snowed nearly all the time - I enclose you a map of the route. On Sunday morning - the 16th I started with the column of infantry to climb the mountain, where no one supposed we could ascend the cavalry was sent around to attack the Enemy (500 strong) in front and draw off his attention - It took us two hours to climb the mountain for it was nearly a mile and a half from foot to summit. We then crept silently along the ridge and came within 200 rods of them before they saw us - They immediately formed in line of battle, but we had no sooner formed and fired a few volleys among them than they fled ingloriously - I fired one shot among them and the boys say I killed one, but I think & hope not - [*159*]We then took possession of their camp, where they had left everything--but themselves & what guns they had in their hands. The roads being so bad--and having no means of transportation--I set on fire & destroyed a large amount of stores [???] and all their huts to the number of sixty. There were very curious trophies found by the boys. I have all their official documents, among them several letters written by Gen Marshall. In most respects it is the completest thing we have accomplished-- but it lacks blood to give it much place among the movements of the time. There were seven of the enemy's killed and wounded. None of our boys were hurt. Better to gain a bloodless victory. I was in my saddle [18] and travelling on foot 18 hours of one of the days. I have received the Brigadiers commission of which so much has been said. It bears date of Jan 11th--the day of the battle. I am glad to inform you that one hour ago--I received orders to move my Brigade to Bardstown, KY. [The] So we shall go down the river soon. Direct my next letter to "Bardstown Ky" I enclose you some trinkets. Tell Jo to meet us at Cincinnati March 25th. I was delighted with your good letters. Bless the little darling that is getting so smart & good. Ever yours & hers. James Love to all.[*18th Brigade Ky*] Hiram March 23rd 1862 My Dear Jamie- I was very glad to receive the line you sent by Mr. Clapp. also the word he brought concerning you before writing to you again for your previous letter gave such a fearful representation of your condition and of the health of your men that I scarcely knew what word of comfort or sympathy to write.Then too Joe had just gone and Will Clapp was just going so that there was no immediate opportunity to send you any more substantial comforts in the way of food and medicine. But I am greatly relieved now to know that you are about to leave that out of the world place and be stationed [*219*]somewhere within our reach by rail road. Rogers concludes that he is well enough to join you at Cincinati and we intend to collect as large an amount of pickles fruit &c. as possible to send by him and then keep preparing them to send as an opportunity is presented. I am glad you are going to get "out of the wilderness". but when I think of the desperate battles fought in the west- of the fierce and deadly conflicts I dread to have you sent there. You have so managed your fights in eastern Kentucky that your own men have been saved but I am afraid that in the grand army of the valley you can scarcely be so fortunate. The last battle - at Pea Ridge Arkansas was most fearful and the suffering which follows among the wounded and sick too dreadful to think of. It almost seems that Gen. Curtiss was at fault in his management to lead his troops so far into the enemy's country and into the midst of such a large force with so small an amount of supplies. But he has gained a victory - and gained though it may be at such a cost of life and suffering, he is the brave and gallant general. There is something extremely whimsical and fickle in the treatment our commanders receive from the North. almost deserving contempt I sometimes feel, and in the manner we treat the rebel prisoners, especially the officers - something little better than sycophancy. It may be all intended to show the South that while we exact from them obedience to the laws still we do it in kindness;but when kindness is carried to such an excess as to destroy all their respect for us I think it is carried a trifle too far. Harry says you will be at home this week. I have no hope that you will though I very much wish you could and it almost seems that you might. I have not the least expectation that you will come still I know I shall look for you every train this week. If you cannot come now can you not when your Brigade is fairly quartered at Bardstown! It would not take very long to come from there. I will be patient though. The night must end sometime. We are all well, Trot is looking fat and rosy cheeked again. All join in love to you. Mother says take care of Joe and then adds laughing it would be better though to tell Joe to take care of you. Write often very often to your loving Crete and Trot. I hope you will not allow any Sutlers in your Brigade. It is perfectly awful the way they filch the soldiers of their small earnings. We will do all we can to supply the boys with comforts and if the friends of [?] comes would do the same there would be no need of Sutlers. Crete Bennet House. Cincinnati March 30th 1862 My Dear Crete. I arrived her today and have stopped off to do some business and go down in the next boat which will be here in the morning with the remainder of our men - I have received your letter by the hand of Rogers - I should be exceedingly glad to go home and see you but I know it is of no use to speak of it. The sickness is still fearful in the Brigade, and when a man gets sick there seems to come over him a conviction that he is going to die - and that hastens his death. Mead died last night while I was in Ashland, Chapman & P. F. Cowles [*160*]of Co. A. have also died within the last 48 hours. Capt F.A. Williams is very sick with the Typhoid Fever I have brought him here, and got a good private house for him I shall telegraph for Sophia or Mary to come down and stay with him. I don't know I could endure his loss--should he die. He is one of my very best officers. I am in an agony of anxiety about him. Still he is not face strong hope of recovery. The boxes of goods you sent me here but they have not yet been opened. I know nothing, as yet, of our future destination. I presume, however, it will be with the grand army. I hope I shall have a few weeks to recruit my men and drill them in Brigade movements-- before we get into column again. It is due to the me. I cannot tell you how I dread the approach of the hot season away in the South for my men. My anxiety in these respects makes me very unhappy. I will hold out no expectation about getting home. It may be possible that I can get away for a few days from Bardstown, but I hardly expect it. If I can get a chance at a bank--before I leave in the morning, I will send you some money. I am trying to see if I can do any thing for John. It would give me great pleasure if I could Joe arrived safely and looks better than I ever saw himI enclose you a picture of Gov Dennison which I received to day from Mrs. Dennison. Also a letter from her. Gov. D's history will yet be vindicated. I have all along said as I now say that he was one of the wisest, most honest--capable and faithful Governors Ohio ever had. Have I ever told you about my contraband Jim. If not I will do so in my next. Tell me-- And now to Trot and yourself I give again--and from the soil of home--as ever my love-- James I thank father for his letter I will try to get time to answer it before long. Louisville Ky April 2. 1862 My Dear Crete. I have never so fully realized the fickleness of Torture - and the chances and changes of war as this morning - I arrived here in the night - last night - with three regiments, all promising ourselves great pleasure in a new and broader field of operation - Ten minutes after my arrival dispatches were placed in my hand ordering my regiments turned over to the command of Gen Morgan - and myself to report to Gen Buell at Nashville - or where ever he may be in the field - No hint is given of my destination - but it is supposed I am to be assigned a command in the forces that are now gathering to attack Corinth - No matter - in fifteen minutes I leave - I have wakened Col Sheldon & Maj Pardee to bid them good-by - I dare not let the 42nd regiment know I am going [*161*] It might make a scene. I knew it would nearly break me down Whether I shall ever see them again in the war I cannot tell. One thing is sure I am their General so long The omnibus is at the door - Farewell - you shall hear from me soon As Ever Yours & Trots, J. A Garfield[*162*] Head Quarters 20th Brigade In Camp. 48 miles South of Columbia Tenn. April 4th (8 PM) 1862 Dear Crete. If my life were not so much like series of strange and odd dreams, I should inclined to think I had been dreaming during last few days. When I wrote to Harry, from Columbia, I was about ready to leave that place t sunset of Thursday. Gen Nagley gave me an scort consisting of one sergeant and eight cavalrymen-- and furnished me a trooper's horse. The beast would not gallop, but was a very fast and hard trotter. Till dark we passed through one of the most delightful tracts of country I have ever seen. The residences of Gen Pillow and Rt. Rev. Maj Gen Polk are very magnificent. The ditch digging General is worth two millions of dollars. Making our way past camps and transportation wagons almost innumerable, we reached the Head Quarters of Gen Thomas ten oclock, where I obtained a new [?], but kept the hard trotter and an hour was in the saddle. Gen [?] was moving on to the front of the army as rapidly as he could & my only way to catch him, was in the night. At 3 1/2 oclock inthe morning I reached Gen Buell's tent miles south of Columbia - In half an hour the General was up, and off taking breakfast with him - he assigned to the 20th Brigade - in [Gen] the 6th [Divi?] The men were already under arms, [a?] were to march at 6 oclock - You can imagine how well prepared I was in regard to general outfit - Horse - Servant - books - sword - pistol blankets and mess chest were in Louisville and my trunk had been committed to the certain chances of a Quartermasters Wagon Columbia - I had no baggage, but my overts and that was needed for the rain began to fall in torrents by six. The Gen ordered a trooper to dismount and give me his horse which trotted only not so hard as my Equine Companion of the night before - This morn I assumed command of the 20th Brigade [consis?] of the 64th & 65th Ohio - and the 13th Mich and 51st Indiana Regiments - The Col who had [?] in Command (A West Pointer) delivered the [?] side to me - and away we went with [?] train of 85 wagons drawn 10 miles - A [?] a march of 15 miles I have encamp [?] large field in the regular order of [?] ment, and have got supper with [?][*163*] [?els] - have borrowed a blanket and am [?w] ready and willing to lie down and rest, only thought I would write a word to you before slept - The two Ohio bands have just been before my tent serenading me. I hardly know [?] what only they seem to have heard of me and appear glad that I am here. But no matter what other regiments may be to me I mourn like a bereaved lover for my dear old 42nd - If possible I shall get it with me - but I fear not before the great battle comes off -. Items - Bro Burns is Chaplain of the 65th Ohio Ellis Ballou is sergeant of the same 3. Goldwood our Hiram student is a Lieutenant. 4th Orlon Smith is a Captain - the man who was so angry at me because I raised a company in Ashland County - 5. Having slept but one night in the last three I must try sleep a little - In the midst of this great army I am alone - The tent very large and more than 600 miles from you and Trot - whose I am with a love which reaches out through the night and the distance -and asks Gods blessings upon you - Ever Your James[Nashville Tenn] Hiram Apr. 3rd 1862 My Dear Jamie I received your Louisville letter last night and have done nothing but think of you since except to give a few hours to troubled sleep. In your whole military career so far nothing has happened to which I have been so unreconciled as to this last change. It seems so cruel both for you and the 42nd. that you should be torn from them and sent to the command of men who know nothing of you, and the dear boys who so love and reverence you and so look to you for sympathy and kindness be turned over to the command of one who has only a strangers' feeling for them. Surely nothing is nearer slavery than [221]the tyranny of military rule. But I try to gather some good out of it on which to build hope for you yet. I say to myself perhaps you need all these lessons but when I would answer -what for! I am more puzzled to tell. The last week has been one of inespressable sadness to us. Almost every day has brought us tidings from the 42nd of some one dead or dying. And the fearful desolation of war so brought home to us makes hope for any thing earthly seem but a fiction. I sometimes find myself standing still upon the moments with my eyes closed to the past and daring not to open them to the future. I have never before so realized the strength and beauty resting in the motto with which Longfellow introduces his Hyperion "Look not mournfully into the Past it comes not back to thee; wisely improve the Present that alone is thine go forth to meet the shadowy Future without a fear and with a manly heart". And when I have the power to think or act at all it is with these beautifully expressive words rising from my heart and resting on my life. I will not write more now. We must trust not our thoughts to go backwards and the future I know nothing of. May the God of armies guide your head and your hand to do well and quickly the work you have to do in this wild conflict and give to your heart some solace in its fierce stuggles. Precious little Trot is well. All our love to you now and forever. Crete. Battlefield. 12 miles from Corinth Miss. April 9. 1862 My Dear Crete. I sent a letter to you from Savannah, just I was embarking my Brigade to go to the battle. We landed from the Steamers at a place called, Pittsburg, nine miles above Savannah about half past one o'clock. The battle had been raging since early dawn, and the enemy were just beginning to fall back slowly - Gen Wood met orders for us, to proceed to the front with all possible dispatch. I hurried my Brigade on and reached the front before three o'clock - I was there halted to await further orders for an hour we stood amid the roar of the battle, the shells bursting around us occasionally and the grape shot falling on all sides of me and my staff - We had ridden forward to watch the indications and await orders - but the tide battle swept on and as the sun went down our division was ordered to the extreme front where we bivouaced during the worst night of mud and rain I ever saw - [*160*]Yesterday morning, we pursued the enemy in an armed reconnoisance - between three and four miles - where we were attacked by 800 Texan Rangers, and as many more Alabama Cavalry. We made a most deperate attack driving back our advance (a regt of Cavalry and one of Infantry) killing 19 and wounding 40 [of] with nearly an equal loss on their side. They were, however soon driven back, and their camp destroyed On the whole this is no doubt the bloodiest battle ever fought on this continent; in which has been mingled on our side, but the worst and the best of generalship - the most noble bravery and the most contemptible cowardice. Gen Grant, was encamped on the west side of the river with a very large army - and on Sunday morning, very early - he seems to have been surprised by an overwhelming force of the Enemy who came down with a front line of battle three miles in length and a long column supporting it in the center. Gen Johnson was in Supreme Command, Beauregard in the center Bragg, & Hardee in the wings - By some criminal neglect - not yet explained, their approach was not discovered till fifteen minutes before the attack. Their vast column moved on sweeping Grant's advanced Brigades before it like leaves before a whirlwind, here and there, some brave officer formed his line and withstood the shock till the long line of dead and wounded - was greater than the living - In this way the Enemy drove on for four miles - till our force was driven to the Steamboat landing, where it must have been annihilated or captured, but for the two gun boats which sent shells with terrible effect into the columns of the Enemy, and forced him back from the river This night closed in over a most disastrous day for our arms and our honor - It was the Enemy's evident intention to cut off Grant before Gen Buell should arrive via Nashville and Columbia - In the night however, our column reached the river and began to cross. Early next morning the battle was resumed, both parties having been strongly reinforced. Inch by inch the enemy were driven back over the ground they had captured, and as night closed in our line of battle five miles in length, had swept the enemy back over a space of six miles - Such a scene as this 30 square miles presents - beggars all attempt at description - If I live to meet you again, I will attempt to tell something of its horrors - God has been good to me, andI am yet spared - After returning from our reconnoisance last evening - we slept again on the ground, without blankets - It rained heavily for three hours - the latter part of the night - Today we are are beging to bury the dead - I presume we shall soon move on Corinth - My health has never been better - though I am entirely without camp equipage - My horses and servants [are] trunk mess chest - are all back. Indeed I have nothing of my own, save the clothes on my back - When they will be here I do not know. I shall telegraph for them today - I have almost been glad that my dear 42nd is not with me - there has been such terrible exposure of the soldiers here - But, Oh how I grieve at our separation - Kiss our precious little Trot for me a hundred times - God bless you and her with the richest of his infinite love - Remember me to Father and Mother and all the family - Tell Harry & Almeda I wrote to them a short time before I reached Savannah - My letters must be addressed to [Memphis] me "Comdg 20th Brig - 6th Divison Army of the Ohio - via Nashville, - to follow the Brigade" This voluminous direction will cause letters to reach me - and I hope a great number will come Ever & forever your James[*Wash D.C.*] Hiram 19th Apr. 1862. My Dear Jamie: After two weeks of torturing anxiety we begin again to hear from you. To night I have just received your letter from Savannah written fifteen days ago. Two nights ago the one came from the battlefield. Do you remember how your favorite "Jenny" sings the poet's dower! "The season of season, the hate of hate, the love of love" Let him add the toil of toil and a taste and a sight of all that is fiercest and most horrible and he will have told life's position to you. These last letters fill my eyes with tears and my heart is near to you with all its sympathy and love. And I live close beside you through all [*222*]those battle scenes but with my eyes closed to all but you. I cannot think of the horrors this terrible war is planting around our brave boys. I could neither eat nor sleep nor live should I give myself up to the contemplation of the sufferings and miseries of those who are fighting for us. I only make the hours endurable by filling them so full of some employment that I cannot think. - To day is my birth day again, and the anniversary of two days of sorrow to our nation. How full of unspeakable joy would my heart be were you here to night to read to me the chapter you selected two years ago [for me], and to give to me your blessing to go away with into this new year. May its close find you reserved from all the perils of this war and safe beside me. Sunday eve. The weeks come and go and each takes you farther and farther away - more and more into the uncertainties which are hidden in the obscurity of the battle smoke until it seems sometimes that I have lost sight of you entirely, and my heart stands still with waiting to know if - when that dark sulphurous cloud shall lift - you will again appear. Dear Jamie Our Heavenly Father alone can protect and save you. In Him is all my trust. To Him can I confide all my hopes and anxieties and desires concerning you as I dare not even to you speak them. - The papers now predict another fierce fight at Corinth. Our Generals have in Beauregard a mighty spirit with which to cope. - An adversary they need not despiseand had they known this better the fields of Shiloah might never have been drenched with the blood of that dreadful slaughter. - I am glad you have found some friends in your new Brigade. - Remember me very kindly to Ellis -but I hope you will never love another Reg. as you have loved your dear 42nd. I met Harry Jones at Solon. Heard his lecture but could get only a moment to talk with him - He was very sure that you would get them with you again. - Did you make any arrangement with Capt. McGrath [concerning] concerning Joe's pay? There was due to him about 60.$ when he left, and James Rudolph writes that Joe must get it if he does at all - where he now is. If you know anything about it please let Joe know. I found your Mother not very well. She thinks and worries too much about you. She was mourning that you did not write to her oftener, Jamie, Jamie! - I met Prof. Brainerd of [?] at tea and Mrs. McMillans a few evenings since. He has just returned from Wash., where he has been spending the winter, and he said to me Gen. Garfield has a very flattering - or something like that he said - reputation in Washington circles, and to a promiscuous company, I heard him say that he would give more for your reputation now than for Gen. McClellan's. That is one of the laurels you have won. Little Trot says papa is "way gone Kucky" Do write me. With all our Love Crete and Trot. I am ashamed of this letter. I will try and not write in such a hurry another time CreteHead Quarters 20th Brigade Field of Shiloh. April 21st 1862 My Dear Crete. After the longest space that ever intervened between your letters me when away yours of the 5th inst was received. But it was on the way during the confusion and almost entire suspension of the carrying trade, consequent upon the great battle, and so only reached me a few days ago. It is the only word from northern Ohio I have had since I left the Big Sandy. I assure you, My Dear Crete, I have never been in so much need of letters from home as since my arrival here. Still, I am getting along as well it possible for me to, without the 42nd I am, by slow degrees recovering from a violent attack of bloody dysentery, which was accompanied by an incipient attack of Piles. I never suffered such acute and crushing pain in my life, as I did for 40 hours during that attack. I should probably be entirely well, but for the severe and continued rains. There has not been four hours cessation of heavy cold rain, for the last three days and nights. From Saturday Morning to Sunday evening, I was on Outpost duty with my whole Brigade, and it rained continually. I was wet through & through, and the effect has been rather bad on my malady - but [*165*] [*Did I tell you how to direct? I believe I did - but here it is again. 20th Brigade 6th Division, Army of the Ohio, ref Tennessee River -"*]I am so much better today that, I believe I have seen the end of this attack. My pickets and videttes were so far out that they could occasionally see the pickets of the Enemy. I found a group of twelve tents in the woods beyond our pickets, where there were 30 wounded rebels, attended by a surgeon, and a few soldiers. We sent them food and what comforts we could, but dead men were lying in among the living, and sight and smell were terrible. We buried the dead, & were in hearing of the commands of the officers of the rebel outposts. The horrible sights I have witnessed on this field. I can never describe. No blaze of glory, that flashed around the magnificent triumphs of war, can ever atone for the unwritten, and unutterable horrors of the scene of carnage. I hope you will find a sketch of the battle of Sunday & Monday, written by "Agate" of the Cincinnati Gazette" It is in the main very correct - and is one of the best battle sketches I have seen. I am still in a rather unpleasant condition in regard to my personal arrangements. I left Louisville with nothing by my trunk overcoat & a belt pistol. The trunk I was obliged to leave at Columbia to be brought forward on a government wagon, but I have heard nothing of it since, and fear I never shall. It contained all my clothing, letters, Commissions &c. so that I have not even a change. When the Aid Society was down with a steamer for the wounded came down from Cincinnati I found Dr Beckwith, and a Mrs Noble of Cleveland, and also Mrs Wilcox of Painesville who came as representatives of the Aid Society - and they gave me a pair of drawers and and undershirt - But for that I should have been wearing the same underclothes more than three weeks. I do not hear from my horse or from Green. I hear incidentally that [one of our] my boy Jim, who came over to me at the Battle of Middle Creek, was kidnapped at Louisville, but was rescued by a writ of Habeas Corpus - This circumstance caused a panic among the colored men connected with the 42nd and Prof went home, partly because he was sick. The Major wrote me he believed it was because I was gone. At last accounts Green was feeling blue about coming down here, and I am inclined to think he thought prudence the better part of valor and has gone home. Still I hope to see him and my horse "Bill". I have telegraphed to Capts Plum & Heaton, now in Cincinnati, to send for my horse Harry, now in Elyria where I sent him when I found what a country we had to operate in, in the Sandy Valley.I have chosen Ben. Lake, (Lt. in a Cavalry Co - in Piketon) as one of my aids. He will be here in a week or two. You remember him when he was a student in Hiram. A few days since I met his father, (Bro. Constance Lake of Wooster.) here in search for his son Joseph. He was nearly disharted. His son belonged to an Artillery Company, and was very sick with the Typhoid fever. When the battle was raging - and while his companions were gone for a team to take him out of danger, he arose from his bed and in his wild fever delirium, ran down to the landing. He was seen on the shore amid the hurrying crowds, and that is the last trace we can discover. His father has searched for days and has now gone down the river to search the hospitals through, to see if he may not in his wildness have got on a boat among the wounded - and been taken below. Faint hope! but it is a fathers - Dear little Trot! how is she tonight? Did you know that I am farther away from you now than ever before? There are a thousand miles between us tonight. I need not tell you how great a joy it would be to me, could that space drop out, and bring me to you. Do write me long and frequent letters. Tell me what you hear about the 42nd as well as friends at home. I met George Garfield a few days ago. He is in a cavalry company here. I send you in this $50.00 - a $30. Treasury note, and two ten dollar bills I should have sent you some before, but I could not get the proper exchange I have lent some money [($100] to Dr Robison to invest for me - Tell me when you want money & how much. Give my kind regards to all the family & friends - Ever Thine & Trots - James.[*Recd May 11/62*] [*Ansd " 12/62*] [*Nashville Tenn*] [*"Rec'd May 11.62. Ans. " 12. " "*] Hiram. "What time the amber morn Forth gushes from beneath a low-hung cloud." Apr. 26.th 1862 My Dear Jamie: The old Seminary bell is just ringing the hour of five as I begin this letter to you, and would I not love to send floating away on the morning air one of its clear tones to awaken you to a thought of all who love you here. Yesterday I was at Newton-Falls. Sister Nellie is teaching in Enos Austin's district and I went to see her, Miss Booth, Harry, and Henry Newcomb also went. Harry delivered a lecture Sat. evening on our present condition and prospects in regard to the war. I have not heard him for a long time before, and think he has improved since I did. Still he is too [*230*]releavent to please me entirely. He is immensely popular at the Falls and at Warren. He calls large audiences and holds their attention remarkably; still it seemed to me to be by a physical rather than any spiritual influence that he held them - Rather by the full clear tones of his powerful finely cultivated voice than by the thoughts to which he gave utterance or the graces of his composition. I met many of your old friends there each with an anxious inquiry concerning you. So entirely absorbed have all my thoughts been in this war that I had scarcely realized how far you are removed from all your former life, and I could scarcely refrain from weeping as I sat in the church where so many bright laurels you had won, before the days of sorrow were known. I hope the honors you may win in the discharge of those terrible duties which you have given your pledge to perform may not unfit you for a return to a life of peace and quiet, and alone for all those pursuits which have been [???] and your delight. The papers bring intelligence - or rumors rather - of the taking of New Orleans and the evisceration of Corinth. We hope it may be true, and that our armies will not be obliged to remain much longer so far to the South. From the report Will Smith brings also from one Harmon Austin gave me from a gentleman returned to Warren. I feel extremely anxious about your health. It seems to me that so many and violent attacks of your disease must seriously and permanently affect your health; and as the warm seasonapproaches there is great danger that it may take amore aggravated form There is so much need that you take the best care possible of yourself and I am so afraid that you take none at all. - Uncle Frederick received a dispatch last Friday stating that Augustus was just [???e] and he must come immediately if he saw him before death. He and his wife went to him Saturday and we have heard nothing since. We cannot but hope that he still lives and may yet be raised. -When I was at Solon - Uncle Wm. Hayden took me from the depot up to Mary's. He asked a great deal about you and wished me to remember him to you with a great deal of love. Selena died about three weeks ago, I wish if you ever have the leisure you would write to Dr. Briscoe. His health is very poor, and he was looking so suffering and dejected that it made me feel sad to see him. - I could tell you a great deal about our dear little girl which would please you very much but my sheet is so nearly full that I will wait 'til another time. She talks a great deal - thinks she can say any thing and does succeed very well. We have received but one letter from you since the battle. - Are very anxious to hear again. Yours forever Crete.Lick Creek. Tenn- 12 Miles from Corinth Miss. May 1st 1862. My Dear Crete. I have been busy settling up my army accounts connected with the Sandy Valley. Since noon of today--and now at Midnight, when the rest have gone to their tents, I will sit and write once more to you. Do you know that I have not heard from you since the 6th of April the date of your last letter. I have just concluded to send Capt Ralph Plumb (of Oberlin) back to Cincinnati to close up some of our Sandy Valley accounts, and being so near I have directed him to go to Hiram and see you. From all I can learn I have reason to believe that my letters have not reached you. I have written you not less than five since I left Cincinnati. It is said that they are retained till they are three weeks old so that the contents of the mails shall communicate no intelligence which might injure the cause of the union army. [166]I regard it an absurd and foolish policy, and a very wicked course to pursue toward the friends of the army who may be in such great anxiety to know the fate their soldier friends in the battle. Be that as it may, I have now the satisfaction of feeling sure that what I wrote will reach you. There is no trouble in the mails coming this way or at least others get letters though I do not average three per week from the whole world. I have been very unwell during the last ten days. When the Bloody Dysentery left me the Piles set in, and I suffered more in 48 hours, about one week ago, than I ever did in the same length of time in my life. I have been quite bad with them ever since and am so yet, though I believe I am still improving. It has been very hard for me to ride on horseback. We have had a succession of heavy, rains the severest I have ever seen--and it has made camp life in these woods very uncomfortable. But I believe the rainy season is now nearly over, and we shall continue the advance movements which we began two days ago. The whole of this great army will move forward, as we now think to fight another great battle. I do not see how a fight can be avoided except by the flight of the rebels, which we have no right to expect. I have tonight drawn my pay for the last four months--amounting to a little more than $1300. I owed some of this which I have paid, and have sent $1000 to Dr Robison and asked him to deposit it in the Bank, or some other equally safe place for me. In order that you may fully understand the state of my affairs, I will say that I have saved all I could out of my salary, and besides what I have sent you I have deposited $2000 with Dr Robison since I came to Ky. Col Sheldon had $600 belonging to me, which he sent to Dr R. about the time I left Louisville to come here. A few days after I came here, I sent the Dr. a check on N.Y of $400, and now I send him $1000 making in all $2000. About one week ago I sent you $50 in a letter, which I hoped would do till I could hear from you, and I will then send you whatever amount you need. Please tell me how much you need. I desire, as a matter of policy to draw in the small amounts that have been owing me for a long time, and get what we have concentrated into so small a compass that it may be got at when needed. I have put enough in the hands of Dr. R. to aid Trot considerably by the she would be able to need it-- and I want an eye kept constantly to her future, even if our own is not secure. You do not know how frequently I think of her and of the difficult task she would have to carve out an education of her own. Bless her dear little soul. I still hope we may live to see her the pride and joy of both our hearts in the sweet days of peace...I have just today got my trunk--& so farewell to the flannel shirt that I have worn just 30 days. I am delighted to see the old trunk soiled and bruised as it is. I have had a long talk with Capt Plumb who can tell you every thing about me here--that I could not write in a long time. He will bring my Harry horse down with him--and any thing you may send I want you to send me your picture and Trots together. Now don't fail to do so. Get one taken while Capt P. is there. He was with me in the Sandy Valley--and will be with me here He is a noble man, and a good officer. I cannot but believe you have written to me, and that the letters are detained. I was never so anxious to hear from you as now. Give my love to the family all. Kiss the dear little one & remember & love me ever as your own James.Head Quarters 20th Brigade. In Camp. 9 miles from Corinth May 4th 1862 My Dear Crete. Immediately after leaving Capt. Plumb on the boat at Pittsburgh Landing I returned to camp, and at 5 o'clock yesterday morning we broke up our encampment and moved forward to this place--or rather this deserted field. I pitched my tent in a little sassafras grove, and here we received orders to prepare for battle early next day (that is today) About 4 1/2 o'clock, in the afternoon a fierce cannonading a few miles to the left. We turned out and stood under arms, but in about an hour the cannonading ceased. We passed the night away very pleasantly, drank sassafras tea for breakfast, and are now waiting orders to move forward. The fight last evening may have changed the aspect of affairs to such an extent that we may not move forward today. I hope not, for there is a sentiment wide spread in the army, even among those who are hard men and blasphemers, that battles begun of the [167]Lord's Day are not a blessing to the attacking party. I presume however, there will not be more than a reconnaissance and mutual maneuvering to feel of the enemy and learn where he is located. In this calm Sunday morning of anxious waiting I sit by the rough desk in my tent to write again, in the hope that this will reach you before May is gone. The past night and the morning thus far have been strangely quiet for the camp of a great army. There is the peculiar quiet, and subdued manner which characterizes men who are on the ever of great events, in which their own lives are at stake. I rode along in the woods this morning--and saw little groups here and there seated in the leaves in low earnest conversation, sometimes--a little group with a bible in their midst--sometimes a man by himself reading a pocket worn letter. Men who are usually rough, address each other with more than usual gentleness of manner. All this tells me that these men will fight with great desperation. It is understood that Gen Mitchell is moving up to form a junction with us and every thing indicates a very great battle. There has been no battle, where the preparations were on so gigantic a scale as this. Since the battle of Shiloh we have been reinforced by Popes Command 20,000 strong, and the remaining Brigades of Grant & Buell-- and all our arrangements of forage and provision betoken vast operations. [May] God grant that this may be the last great bloody sacrifice of the war in the Mississippi Valley. I would not write you on the eve of battle if my letter would reach you before you could hear from me in any other way--for I would not give you the anxiety consignment upon such a letter. But I know that long before this letter reaches you, you will have heard the results of matters here. I have written you so frequently and so fully of late that you will have a full knowledge of all my doings hitherto. I am still in great anxiety to hear from you, not having had a word since April 6th Yesterday I received a letter from Dr Robison, dated April 23rd so you see there is no obstacle in the way of letters reaching me. I trust you will not fail to write to me very frequently, so that letters may keep reaching by and by, even though they should be of old dates when they come. I am very glad to know that Capt Plumb will visityou soon, and carry the hand grasp I gave him directly to you. You will not forget. I hope to send me your picture and Trot's. Is she growing--in size and beauty? Does she learn to talk rapidly? Tell me about her. Harry wrote to me asking me to allow my name to down on the Catalogue as President of the Eclectic. Do you know anything about it why he wants it? Tell me about it. Why don't Nellie write to me? I wrote last. I think I have answered Father's letter though I may be mistaken. I know I intended to do so. My trunk has come--but not [Green?] nor my horse. I am riding a little yellow Texan horse which we captured from the Texan Rangers in our reconnaissance the day after the Battle of Shiloh. Give my love to all our dear friends & brethren. I hope you and they are enjoying a sweet and peaceful Lord's day, in the church. I have never longed so much as now, for a quiet day in Church--and a good religious sermon from some good man. Ever & forever I am Yours & Trot's, James. Capt R Plumb Spencer House Cincinnati -by Express- [*Army of the Ohio*] [* N [?] Tennessee River*] Hiram May 6th 1862 My Dear Jamie I received last night the letter you sent with the $50.00 inclosed. Thank you for it. I am owing Miss Booth almost the whole amount, but if she is not wanting it I will keep part of it as it is not a comfortable feeling to be entirely destitute. I am anxious to pay her entirely, and if I can get square with the world again I will try and keep so. I confess to you honestly that I do not like to ask you for money and I very much wish that it pleased you better to allow me a certain amount to spend as I choose or think best. You will say now that I avoid of woman's rights, but you know I am innocent of any such waywardness as that implies. Dear as are your lettersalways, doubly dear are they now and never before so needed to keep hope alive in your long absence. We hear very little from the 42nd. We have not heard from Joe for more than two weeks. I saw Mrs. Col. Sheldon in Cleveland. She said the last she heard from her husband they were near Cumberland gap. I so much wish you could have stayed with them. You have never told me about your contraband Jim yet. The papers are full of the evacuation of Yorktown now. It does seem that the rebellion cannot hold out much longer. I sent you a long letter Monday and will write again soon. Trot is well and all the other friends and all think of you and love you very much. Ever your Crete.Head Quarters 20th Brigade In the Field. 6 miles from Corinth May 9.th 1862 My Dear Crete, I have written you so frequently, and sent in so many different ways that I cannot doubt that you have received some of them at least. Why I have not had anything from you since the 6th ult. I am wholly unable to understand. I have just received a letter from Mother dated April 25th also one from Circleville, Ohio date April 30th I really have no heart to write any more and get no acknowledgement of their receipt. I write this to say, that our expected attack has been delayed, and though we may move further any day, I don't think a general attack will be made under a week or ten days. I made a reconnaissance a few days ago across the Mississippi line, to within 4 1/2 miles of Corinth, and took two prisoners The enemy fired three shells at us--& one rebel fired at me from a house 100 yds ahead but missed his aim. I am now quite well Anxious to know if you are still alive I am as Ever James [168][JAG Army of the Ohio Up Tennessee River] Hiram May 11th 1862 My Dear Jamie: I have just been putting up a package for Joe to send by some of the boys who start tomorrow on their return to the 42nd. How I wish you were there so that I might put up one for you too. The last we heard from the Regiment they were near the Gap. The last letter from Joe--written Apr. 30th--says that they were expecting to make an attack on the rebels soon--that the 14th Kentucky had been skirmishing with them and several were wounded; but a letter from Lieut Clapp four days later states that there had been no fighting then and more he thought there would be [224]none. What his reasons were for so thinking I have not learned. The letters from the 22nd are not so enthusiastic as they were when you were with them, and for your sake and theirs I wish you were with them again. Gen. Morgan may be worthy of all confidence still they do not know him and cannot feel that trust in him they felt in you or love him as they did you. It has been more than a week since we have heard any thing definite of Capt. Williams. He must be getting better we think. William Smith is very sick with Typhoid Fever. Dr. Harmon of Warren was called to see him last week. He said he was very sick but not past hope he thought. The Dr. called on me and spent a half hour chatting about you and the things he heard and saw on the battlefield of Shiloh. I was very glad indeed to see him. To greet one so immediately from your presence makes me feel that something of you has been brought to me and when I take a hand which has so lately grasped yours it seems to me there is a thrill of your life in it. Jamie I don't know but I am glad that I live now. My soul is waking up to a new and larger life, to a life full of deeper richer emotions, to a more comprehensive enjoyment of all that is good and glorious, and I feel that it is indeed a great thing to live in these times of trial and sacrifice. Trust in Providence grows stronger and hope for the promises God has given [???] when to his protection alone we give up those we so well love.-- Six months ago to day was the last you spent with us, and to day your absence is longer and the distance between us greater than it has ever been since the date engraven on this little golden band the only ornament of my hand. Our little precious is now out upon the green grass in the bright sunshine a picture of life and of health, and her little prattle and merry laugh as now and then they come stealing in through my open window like the tinkle of silver bells are full of music to my ear and would be to yours were you only hear to listen. It seems cruel that you are robbed of all the sweet enjoyment her little child nature gives, and it is cruel for her too that her life cannot grow beside yours May Heaven bless you and keep you safe to return to us is the prayer my heart each day offers up. Harry says he has sent you four or five letters since you went into R[???] and this is the fifth or sixth I have written. Ever [Your?] [Crete?]I see in some of the late papers it is recommended to soldiers troubled with Diarrhaea to use cloves. Bad water is the most frequent cause of the disease and cloves by exciting the salivary glands prevent thirst. Parched corn meal put in water is also recommended for drink. I will send you cloves if you cannot get them, and both preventives are very simple and worth trying. Crete. [225]Head Quarters 20th Brigade 2 miles from Farmington 6 from Corinth, May 12th 1862 My Dear Crete, The dead silence is at last broken. Last evening's mail brought me letters--one from you, dated April 26th, (postmarked 30th) and one from Harry dated March 31st remailed from Bardstown, none from Almeda. In my last (a short short note) to you May 9th, I felt as though I could not write again, until I heard whether my letters were received or not. Since then we have moved from the Hamburg and Corinth road, around to the Hamburg and Farmington road. We are now three miles farther to the left wing of the army and about the same distance from Corinth The Enemy made a fierce attack on Gen Pope, near here, last Friday, and we were sent here for the double purpose of supporting him, and to extend the left of our army around so as to possess the Florence / Memphis RR. and put ourselves between Gen Mitchell and the Enemy--so that--he can come up as a rescue if necessary. There has been but little fighting for the last two days. Gen Curtis came in [169]last night with the advance of his army to reinforce us, and though the Enemy still greatly outnumbers us we have confidence in our superior discipline. I think it is the policy to cut off the Enemy's wheat by River and rail, and force him to a general battle or a surrender. His River egress is nearly shut up, and all his Rail Road avenues of retreat, except the direct Southern one, are in our grasp. It would be wiser for us to [???] a month in hemming him in than it would be to dash upon him, and beat him in battle, only to allow him to slip out at the back door, and make another stand farther back. His army count number less than 150,000 men, but a large part of that force s made up Conscripts who neither serve willingly nor intelligently. It is rumored, but not confirmed, that Gen Sigel has arrived with Gen Curtis. I hope this is so. I have great faith in that German and his fighting. My health is now quite restored. You would hardly know my sunburnt face, which is fast acquiring a saleable color. Before this I presume Capt Plum has seen you, and I hope he will soon return with messages from you. It will will be a great joy to see one who has lately seen you. I saw Wall. Ford a few days ago. He will be in Hiram soon. I should have. how glad! to have been with you at Newton Falls. Your reflection in reference to the effects of the war upon my tastes and feelings coincide precisely with my own. But I have not much fear that this wild life will unfit me for the joys of peace which I so much long for. I greatly desire to see the end of it and lay aside the terrible work. Still it would be just like my perverse nature if I should ever see quiet life again, to be restless and long for turbulence. There will probably be turbulence enough to satisfy the most storm loving disposition--for next few years. I am still peeved at not hearing from the 42nd When you write, tell me what you hear from them. My last intelligence have date April 12th They were then just leaving Louisville I have heard from Maj Williams a little later than your letter & he was, then better. Have suffered greatly in reference to him. I know of no man in the army whose death would crush me so terribly as his. He is a true man, and one of my dearest friends. I hope you will receive, sometime the rol- [170]more of letters I have written you [?] the last six weeks - I will try to get time to write to Dr Briscoe if possible. I cannot finish this paper now - for I must go out on duty for a few hours Kiss the little one and tell her if you can that I love her and you - Love to the family Ever Your JamesHiram May 13th. 1862 My Dear Jamie: I received yours of May 4th. to night and read it with the tears starting every few lines. It seemed that I must give up - for the first time since I parted with you at Columbus - to a good cry. But I choked it down and started on a brisk walk - Every now and then though my eyes would be swimming and the big heart sobs would rise into my throat. I had just turned in at Mr. [Stinsons?] on an errand for another when Uncle John drove past with an Officer and lady. In a moment - I thought of Quarter Master Plum and headed home to see if they were here. They were, and I was extremely glad to see [*225*]them. The Quarter Master had been home and brought his wife with him. They are very agreeable people. Mr. Plum reminds me constantly of Augustus. He looks some like him with the same complexion and color of hair. He speaks like him and has the same suavity of manner and pleasant humor. I think you must find him a more agreeable companion than the majority of Officers you meet. By the way Augustus is getting better, and they tell some fancy things of his delirious ravings; for instance he was constantly giving orders to Addies to charge.--I am so glad that he is recovering. So many times we heard that he was past all hope that I began to feel that we must give him up. Nothing but you here--your own dear self could make me happier than I [x] an to night with two long good letters from you to read, and your Quarter Master here to visit with. I sent up for Harry and Almeda to come down and spend the evening with us. Harry came but Almeda was too weary. Harry and the rest of us have talked the poor man almost to death asking questions, but how can we help it since he is so lately from you and there are so many things we want to know. I think it very strange you do not receive any letters from [we?]. I have written every week since you went with Tenn. except one, and this is the fourth I have written within two weeks. But perhaps you are getting some by this time. I shall keep writing every week and Jamie you must too. You are so far away now that we feel as though we had lost you altogether when we do not [x] hear from you every few days. The Quarter Master tells me that he has been making purchases of things to make you more comfortable. I hope you will get all you need. Your fare is hard enough make the best of it. You must have been very frugal so far to lay by so much. I so much so I fear for your own comfort. I promise you now dear Jamie that the amount you have placed in the Dr.'s hands and whatever more you may add to it shall be most [???] preserved for Trot--if you never return for it yourself. You ask how much more I need now. I would like to pay Miss Booth entirely. I do not have exactly what I am owing her but will settle with her before I write again. I only want to spend what I think you would desire me to if you were here. I have a good many invitations to visit in different places and for my own sake and yours too I desire to accept them and of course must dress more than I would at home. But I think all expenditures for myself and Trot can be met with $20, per month. [???], I wish I had a great many more things with which to fill your coat, but am taken so unexpectedly that I have nothing prepared. Your coat lies on our bed beside me and little Trot comes in and puts her little hand on it and says papa's coat. Dear Jamie God bless you and keep you safe to return to us. Your loving Crete.[JAG Corinth] Hiram May 15th 62 Dear Jamie: You asked me why Harry wrote you as he did in regard to the Presidency of the Institution. I do not know. I hear nothing the teachers say now about their prospects or intentions. Perhaps there are reasons for so doing that I do not know of, but I can see no special propriety nor benefit to anyone in [so doing] allowing your name to still go on the catalogue. Every one knows that there is not the slightest prospect of your return to the Institution, and I think if it is not Harvey's request also that it will look some connivance of yours and Harry's to keep him from the position. [226]I send you a silk Handkerchief, thinking it would be more serviceable since you can have so little care taken in the laundress department. Do not be ashamed of the stitches. I have hemmed it sitting in the Artist Lakes rooms, and was in great haste to get it done in time to send this package by the cars to night. The case for our pictures is very poor but it is the best double case he has, and I thought it would do to fall into the hands of rebels. We have had a great time keeping Trot still enough. I wish you could see her as she stands before me now putting on and taking off her blanket and saying "I go home now". I must stop writing now, though I can never stop thinking of things to say to you. Ever your own Crete.[Army of Ohio Up Tennessee River] Hiram. May 18th 1862 My Dear Jamie: I hope some letter of mine has been permitted to reach you [???] this. I have written you every week but one since you went into Tennessee and I cannot understand why none have reached you unless it be that I sent those I wrote in Apr. via Nashville as you first directed, since then I have sent them up Tenn. River. I was exceedingly pained by your last short letter of May 9th to see that you had so good reason for feeling that I was voluntarily withholding the kindness and sympathy which letters bear at a time when more than ever before they were needed [227]by you. But trust me hereafter, Jamie that I am ever thinking of you most kindly with a heart full of love and tenderness for you whether you receive my letters or not. The mails are becoming more regular now and I hope there may be no more such cruel delays. Your last was only seven days coming. The great battle we have been so long expecting every paper to announce is being delayed so long that we begin to hope that like all the others which have been so much dreaded it will never take a place. I presume the war would end much sooner could the rebel army there be met and crushed as I believe our army will meet and crush them if they risk a stand there, but when I think of the dreadful conflict it would be I cannot withhold the prayer to God to let them--bastards as they are--play their coward's part.-- My heart would grow almost paralyzed with fear for your safety--knowing the bold daring work you will do, if my trust was not most firmly fixed in the power of the Almighty to save you, and I cannot think it is merely my love for you and hope that you may return which gives me this confidence--it seems to me this is something higher, something I cannot tell assuring me that our Divine Father will shield you through the battle's storm, and keep you for work yet to be done. I have written you in almost every letter something about our little Trot. She is growing very fast now--learning to talk and increasing in intelligence I don't know that her face is any prettierthan it was last summer, except that it is lighted up with more intelligence. She talks about papa a great deal. She seemed to think Capt. Plum was you. We told her that he came from you, and in the morning when she went into the sitting room before he came down she looked around and said "papa way gone [???]", and when he started away she looked out of the window after him and said "papa gone". She fell down stairs a day or two ago and peeled her nose. She made a great fuss about it's "beeding" and the next day she was looking at your Columbus photograph and seeing the shade on the face, or for some other reason she says "papa's nose beed". She notices little things that I would not suppose she could. Your photograph shows only a little light spot for the ear. She was looking at it and says "papa got ea". Miss Booth was down here a few days since and she was determined to go home with her. She started off into the street and I could not coax her back but had to go with her up as far as Mr. Hadley's and could get her back then and after stopping there and waiting awhile. There is not an hour but she does something I wish you could see and know about. I have settled with Miss Booth and was owing her $61.25. I paid 11.25 leaving $50.00 yet due. I would have paid more but thought best to keep the remainder so as not to be destitute again before you have an opportunity to send. She says she will not probably want the balance before six or eight weeks, and I shall want [an indication of mischievous babies] none sooner than that, so that you need not feel hurried to send again until you have a good opportunity. It might come safely in the mail, but it is running a good deal of risk to send it so.-- Dear Jamie I want you to keep writing as often as you can and be assured that I do write to you as often as every week sometimes more frequently. Loving you as ever Crete & Trot. You thought you had written to father. He has received no letter yet. Crete-- All think of you often and kindly. [228][Army of Ohio up Tennessee River] Hiram 25th May 1862. My Dear Jamie: Every week of this bright moon of blossoms has brought me one or more letters from you-- and, dear Jamie, do you know how much lighter is my heart and brighter my life when these sweet tokens of remembrance and affection are scattered thickly through the months! Yesterday we were all up at Cleveland to attend Burke's and Mary's wedding. All but Harry--he was called to speak the funeral discourse of Ann Calender of Newton Falls. Mr. Calender's oldest daughter. The wedding was a very quiet pleasant affair. The day was extremely beautiful. A little company of twenty or thirty select friends were [229] [*severely unless you use great care. My letter of Apr. 19th you had not received it seems I presume you have received most of the others before this. Forever thine Crete.*]gathered at the ceremony took place at two o'clock P.M. Harvey officiating. Burke and Mary both looked well-- Mary the best I ever saw her. She is in fine health now--was dressed very neatly in bright silk with no ornament but a simple wreath of bridal flowers around her hair put up in plain style, and a few prettily arranged in the fastening of a neat little collar, and we all said that we felt when we saw her standing beside Burke so womanly and dignified that she was indeed very good looking. Mary is intelligent and interesting company and I hope that her love and respect for Burke will make her more careful to attend to all those little comforts which make a home inviting. I believe she has the ability to do so and I hope that her desire to please Burke will be sufficient inducement to make her come up to the full measure of her ability. We all missed you! and Burke said that it had been one of the brightest anticipations of his boyhood that you should be present on this occasion. Your absence and his mother's illness were the only drawbacks on the most entire happiness of us all. Mrs. Hinsdale is suffering with an attack of some nervous affection which has completely prostrated her so that she is unable to be about at all. Mr. Hinsdale nor Louise could leave her so that none of Burke's family were present except Roldan. So much for Burke's marriage. Perhaps the next to record will be Harry's but I have far less hope for his and Libbie's happiness than for Burke's and Mary's. I have written so much at length because I know that you are interested in all theminutiae of your friends' doing even more than if you were one of those little [sainted?] men who never get beyond little things. What would you say to know that little Trot had started out in life for herself. A few days ago Mr. Brown found her in the street down by his house crying "Mama Mama". The little thing had opened the gate and gone through and not being able to open it from the outside started off. We had not missed her at all and when I thought of how far she might have gone and what might have happened to her, I can not tell you how I felt. It seemed to me that I should never dare let her get out of my sight again. And to think of the terrible feeling of loneliness that must have come over the little creature as she traveled along calling for Mama. It almost makes me cry to think of it. She says she loves papa and I think she begins to understand what she means when she says so. The 42nd. have been seeing some hard times from lack of provisions. The roads have been so bad that it was almost impossible to get anything to them. The boys say that nothing on the Big Sandy can compare with their marches to Cumberland Ford. Joe says Napoleon did not encounter more difficulties crossing the Alps.-- Jamie I cannot help thinking about that box of cigars I saw in Capt. Plum's valise, and I cannot but feel kind of sorry that they were ordered. It does not make me love you less but it makes me feel sad that you do not show more strength to resist the temptation to such gross pleasures of appetite. I am glad that you [???] so entirely well again. Try and keep so. The warm season--as it approaches will try yourIn Camp near Corinth- May 27, 1862 My Dear Crete, I have just learned that Col Hozen is to leave for home today noon, & I will take a moment to write a word by him before he goes. I have been greatly rejoice by the late gifts of the mail, which has now become quite regular. I have received four letters from you since May 9th--besides one by the hand of Capt Plumb. Your last of May 18th post marked the 20th reached me yesterday evening. It was a joy I assure you to converse with one who had seen you all, and it was a peculiar delight to see the semblance of your face and Trots. They are very good pictures. Trot is growing finely I am sure. For three days picket firing has nearly ceased by common consent. Indeed the pickets are becoming so friendly that they frequently go out into an open field in [???] and sit down and chat together between the lines. We have been building heavy entrenchments, and it looks now as though we [171]were to make the regular approaches of a siege. It seems to me to be of the last importance that Memphis and Mobile should be taken. If that be done, we cut off the rebel's supplies and compel them to come out and fight us on our own ground--or to surrender where they are I would be very glad if this cup might be permitted to pass, and we not drink it. But all speculations as the time, place, mode and result of so great a battle are vain. My health is now exceedingly good. Capt Plumb, brought Green and my two horse, and also a good cook. For the first time since I left Camp Chase, I am living well in the eating line. We have a French cook who gets up soups--&c--and you know, when I have good soup, my wants are nearly all supplied. I was delighted to see my horses again and I [???] fancied they knew me & I am sure they will soon, for they each get hugged a half dozen times a day. Green is a good servant, and knows more about horses than any one else I am acquainted with. I promised to tell you about my Jim. Just as the last guns were being fired at Middle Creek, a negro, fully armed and equipped--and dressed in rebel uniform braving the fire of both parties climbed down the hill side, and came to our men, and said he wanted to see the Commander. The boys brought him to me, and he gave himself up, saying he was the servant of Col Trigg of the 54th Va. He was in the battle of Bull's Run, and tried to get away there, but could not, and that on the opportunity being offered he came away. I kept him in camp a few weeks, and found him to be very intelligent, and thoroughly honest and faithful. I took him with me, and told him he should go with me to Ohio when the war is over. He is greatly attached to me, and I believe he would die for me cheerfully, if it were necessary. The unsettled state of the Country made me hesitate to bring him so far away [at?] this--from a Free State-- and so I let him go with the 42nd to serve Bro Jones & Will Clapp. I have lately written to him that he must remember my promise to stand by him, and if anything should happen to me, he is to make his way to Ohio, and find you, and that you will see that he has a home. I intend to Keep him with us if I return. He is learning to read & has much more than ordinary negro talent. I must close. Love to all, Especially Trot & Yourself Ever Your James P.S. I would lend money by Col Hazen but I haven't it to spare. J.[*Army of the Ohio Up Tennessee River*] Hiram 1st June 1862 My Dear Jamie: Flashing over the wires two days ago came the report "Corinth is evacuated". Gen. Nelson occupies the intrenchments". We could scarcely believe it or believing scarce know whether it was occasion to sorrow or rejoice. We had almost hoped, that hope for the success of the rebellion in the West would be crushed by the complete annihilation of Beauregard's large army, and the news that he had fled made us feel that perhaps the advantage was on his side at least in the time he would gain; but Halleck's official report yesterday giving an account of their hurried flight--of the many [231]evidences of their demoralized condition and the strength of their fortifications there, encourage us to hope that Beauregard is losing control of his desperadoes and can not make another stand with half the assurance of success that he had at Corinth. And I am glad that the dreadful conflict has been avoided. Now comes the anxious watching to learn what shall come next. Have you any hope that you will be allowed to reinforce Morgan? We have had some intimation from Will Clapp that you have a little hope to do so. I so much wish you could be sent to Cumberland Gap, both for your health and the great joy it will be both to yourself and your dear 22nd. We hear very little from them concerning their movements now. They have been waiting for reinforcements and more artillery before making an attack.-- Great was our surprise and joy to see Bazil Hank enter the church this morning. He came home with Major Williams yesterday and reached home just before church time. He says Augustus is very feeble yet and the fatigue of his journey home so overcame him that he will be obliged to remain in Ravenna a few days before going home. He says there were five weeks of which Augustus has not the least recollection. The physicians say that they never knew one to go down so near to death and recover; and he seems almost like one returned from the dead so many times we heard that dispatches had been received stating that he could not live.-- John starts tomorrow for Lexington with a train of teamsters. He received papers from Capt. Brown of Lexington about two weeks ago authorizing him to obtain a train for which service he is to be Wagon Master.-- Dear little pet is in bed and asleep. I so much wish you could see her now. She is such a little mischief and so cunning that she nearly gets the upper hand with me sometimes. There are some things she knows I do not allow her to do, and when I am busy and do not give her the attention she wants she will do some one of them and call "Mama see me", and look so roguish that sometimes I laugh in spite of myself--then I catch her up and ask her what I shall do with such a mischief "O pak" she says meaning O spank. She delights in getting mother's button box. This morning mother saw her with it and started to take it from her. She saw her coming turned the box upside down--scattering the buttons in every direction, dropped the box and ran of laughing. This is but a specimen. This last week brought me no letter from you. I hope to hear again soon. Loving and praying for you always. Your Crete.Head Quarters 20th Brigade Iuka, Miss. June 7, 1862 My Dear Crete. About the time of the fall of Corinth, I was, after an interrupted month of good health I was revisited by my old complaint which I should have been able to check it in a few days--had we not been ordered away on a heavy march in the extremely hot weather. Three day's hard marching aggravated my disease & gave me something of a fever. I have not been out of my camp now for six days & most of the time have been confined to my bed I weigh lighter than I have before for twelve years. But I presume it [172]will be better for me not to be so fleshy. I am much better now, and though weak, have regained my appetite and shall soon be well. We are now in a high health region where for the first time since we reached the Tennessee we have found good water. Do not feel alarmed for my health, we have more to hope for when I am getting better than when I am [???] untouched by disease. This attack has cleansed my system of its bite and has done me good. One of my staff officers, (Capt Tanor) is going home to Ohio and will take this letter along, where he can change the money I shall give him, write a Draft, or check & so it will be [safe?]. I enclose you Fifty Dollars. It will be six weeks to my next payday, when I can send you more. We are repairing R.R. and thus establishing a new base of military operations. Yours of the 26th was received last night. Give my love to Burke--& Mary. I hope you will pardon this brief note I will write you again when I have more strength & less dizziness of head — Love to Trot & all Ever Yours J.A. Garfield To Mrs J.AGarfield Hiram Portage Co Enclosed $50.00 Ohio [*P.S. Pardon this Signature & address written to forefend the loss of the Enclosure by mail, Your James*] [*Wash DC*] Hiram June 8, 1862 My Dear Jamie: I sit down to write to you again but with little hope that you will ever receive anything I may send you now. It is really disheartening to send letter after letter and when awaiting day after day for some response one does chance to come to find it the bearer of the same intelligence each time "no letters from home". Previous to Capt. Plum's visit here I had sent to you in Tennessee at least five letters all of which you ought to have received before the date of your last letter to Miss Booth in which you state that you have received but two. It has now been more than two [*232*]weeks since I have received a letter from you although there has been sufficient time since Capt. Plum's return to you for letters to come back. I will try and keep a brave heart but it does not seem enough of trial that you must be so far away and so long away without the added drop to brim the cup of your letters kept back until hope almost dies. O if you ever do come back will not be the "delight of nearness doubly sweet"? The army news of the past week have given us new cheer Gen. Pope's brilliant exploits preceded by Col. Elliott's is a triumph to make the heart glad. We rejoice over the victory at Richmond but there is almost more of sorrow than of joy so many of our brave men have fallen. I grow amazed before the magnitude which this war has assumed. So great armies and such fierce and dreadful implements of warfare and such deadly conflicts the world has never known before and when I think of the rapidity with which all has been gathered up from a careless unsuspecting quiet I feel that there is resting in the hearts of this people a national strength and power before which crowned heads may well tremble.-- Just here come crowding up thoughts of a great many things concerning your present and future prospects but I will not anticipate a long letter which Harry intends writing you soon. You must write to me about them all. I can manage sometimes to keep one of your letters all to myself.-- This is commencement week, and all the preparations remind me of the loneliness your absence brings. Mattie received a letter from John last night. He reached Lexington all right, and they were waiting for their train of mules to be furnished them. They will go on to Cumberland Ford as soon as they get the mules broken.-- Your mother is here now, and she says your little girl is a second edition of her baby Jimmie. She is getting to be a wild little witch and if you remember any of your youthful adventures and performances you have some idea I presume of hers. I have your small photograph hanging in my room now and sometimes before she gets her eyes fairly open when she awakes she will scrabble up and say "I 'ant ti tiss papa"; and if she does not want to go to sleep when I wish her to she always wants "to tiss papa". She is one of the greatest little talkers you ever saw. She is always talking to herself when she is at play and it is very funny to listen to her sometimes. I do want you to see her so much. I am afraid she will be changed too much before you come home, so that you will scarcely recognize in her your "baby Trot". With all love and much hope for you as ever your own Crete.Sunday Afternoon We have a new expounder of Prophecy the Rev. Orin Brown. He has given us several of his severe wrenchings of the inspired text but this afternoon he has exceeded himself in his tortures. He read the thirtieth chapter of Isaiah and tried to show that the prophecies referred to our present rebellion. I don't know but they do: but his method of showing it was characterized more by egotism and distorted figures than by showing any very learned research. His announcement that he should allude to slavery was given in such a tone of antagonism that several of the younger gentry were started in some haste for the door whereupon he gave any others who could not bear it permission to leave. I was glad for once that you were not near me for I should [*233*]have laughed even to the ridiculous. It is indeed a great thing to live in these times which give egress to so many wonderful talents! Enough for now. Crete. Sunday eve. The letter you sent by Col. Hazen has just reached me. I am so glad to hear from you again, but have written so much that I will add little more now. I am glad too that you are getting my letters. It would be a pity that so much valuable literature should be lost. I think I must scold you a little if you have put no letter in between the 12th and 27th of May. You must write every week. Remember me to Capt. Plum. Yours still Crete.June 10th 1862 My Dear Crete By some oversight Capt Favor went away without the letter, and it lies here yet. I have now received yours of June 2nd. It is a great comfort to me to hear from you regularly and to know that you and the dear little one are well. Of course everything in her growth, and happiness are full of interest to me. I am however made anxious by the confession made in your last letter, where you say: "She is such a little mischief that she nearly gets the upper hands of me some times." Her young intellect knows almost instinctively where the vulnerable point in parental authority is - and just when is the opportune moment to storm it - When you ask her what you shall do for such mischief - and she recommends "pak" as a remedy, I fear it indicates that your authority has followed the track of your medical faith & become Homeopathic to some degree - Of course I am at so safe a distance from her witcheries that I can give advice of so staid and proper a kind as this with out committing myself for inconsistencies. I will say concerning your passage about "Spanking" as mother has said of smoking: "It does not make me love you less, but it makes me sad that you should not show more strength in resisting [*173*]the temptation of such weakness." Seriously, is there no danger that you are letting her will remain [get] too undisciplined? You see I changed the word from "get" to "remain" - for the will of a child is in the beginning wholly untamed & undisciplined. I have no doubt that gentleness of spirit is to a great extent an acquired possession, and that only by control. Please write me a letter about it. I am taking some purgative medicines - and so am not so well today though my general health is improving - I am glad that John has got a position, after so long a time. It was mortifying to me that I could not have been able to help him before now - but I have had no opportunity. Poor Augustus has had a terrible time. It will be doubtful whether he gets back into the Army this season. His recovery must be very slow. I want you and Almeda & Harry to go and see him. Since I have been sick here, I have been indulging in novels. I have read Buliver's "Strange Story" - and Dickens' "Great Expectations" - Almeda sent me a book just before I left the Sandy Valley, which was locked up unread in my desk and is now in Cincinnati - Tell her about. I have never acknowledged the receipt of it, though I have intended to, but forgot it when I have been been writing to her. I hope to read it some time - With much love to you & Trot & all I am Ever Your James.Head Quarters 29th Brigade Tuscumbia Ala. June 14, 1862 My Dear Crete. We reached this place early this morning--having marched since daylight We spend the day here taking in a supply of forage and provisions. We shall move on tomorrow morning. Our immediate destination is Decatur. It is very severe on our poor boys to march in such hot weather in this sultry climate. For two days we have passed through a splendid country. Great plantations with magnificent residences fill this rich Valley of Tuscumbia & No one who sees the splendor and luxury of these wealthy planter's houses can fail to see that the "Peculiar Institution" has great charms for the rich--& yet no one can fail to see that it is the poor man's bane. We pass these fine plantations--and see the slaves toiling for masters and masters sons who are in the rebel army fighting us--and we let them stay at their toil. A regiment preceded us a few days ago--and as it passed a cotton-field the whole drove of slaves came to the road and shouted for joy saying "now we are free!!" One who acted as foreman for the rest said "Take us with you, we will work--we will do any thing for you." The [???] Colonel ans-wered with terrible blasphemy which I will not repeat--"Go back to your plough you black villain or I will put a bullet through you." The poor slaves went back to suffer not only their terrible bitter disappointment-- but all that is in store for them in consequence of this expression of their wishes. I could chill your blood with the recital of how is that [???] resulted to slaves from their expectation of deliverance--& them being abandoned to [the] death at the hands of their overseers. But I have not time nor heart to write these things. The first day's march nearly exhausted me. Yesterday I stood it better & to day I am quite strong. I shall be busy drawing my supplies & preparing for the march Direct your letters as before & they will follow me I presume the address will be changed when we reach Decatur but I don't know what it will be Love to Trot & all Ever Your James[*Army of the Ohio up Tennessee River*] Hiram June 22nd 1862 My Dear Jamie: It has been two weeks now since I have written you but I did not until last Thursday receive anything from you after the examination of Corinth and from the papers we learned that your Division was on the road for Eastern Tennessee and I supposed it would be very doubtful about a letter reaching you. You gave me no new directions about addressing you so I shall send this as heretofore. I received a line from Dr. Robison last evening stating that he has written again and again concerning important matters and fears all have failed to reach you [*234*]The purport of his communication was to obtain facts concerning your life. He has been requested to make a brief sketch of it for the Supplemental to Dana's New Encyclopedia. I shall go over to Mantua tomorrow, to see Almeda if I can and perhaps we can gather up a few items from your barren life to aid the Doctor. I hope he will not parade you with any flourish of trumpets. He has just returned from Washington and writes that he has "labored hard with the President and secretary of War that the Gen. might have an independent command". With what success he did not write. Have you all confidence in the Doctor's good judgement? Perhaps he is deserving it; but I would not like to have his own impress too strongly placed on his representations of you. There seems to be some mistake about the $600. Col. Sheldon was to have sent the Doctor for you. He writes Wallace that he has never received it. He has written you concerning it, but gets no reply. Now I suppose I must stand up and answer to the charges you make concerning the management of your daughter.-- In the first place let me thank you for giving so flattering notice to anything I have written as to quote from it. In the next accept my congratulations that you are so far removed from the wiles of the little tempter as to save your credit for consistency; for who could not withstand the witchery of those roguish eyes one year ago would surely fail before the intelligent mischief which shines out from them now. Now I will beserious too. I fear as much as you can lest I may not be faithful and fine enough in controlling how and especially in teaching how to control herself. I can always make her yield when I attempt it and I am not at all afraid to "spank" hard when she needs it but I am often troubled lest I am not be using the best means to lead her to govern herself as she becomes old enough to do so. She inherits from me that quick passion which flashes like lighting and makes her act like a little maniac for a moment and here I need you and I hope until you can be with us you will till me so far as you can how best to manage her. Of course to teach her to hold in check those outbursts of passion all will be to accomplished but so far I have supposed that I could only make her understand that the naughty impudent things she does at those times must not be allowed.5 and that when she does then she must be punished. The worst-punishment I can inflict is to shut her in a room alone. There she cools off in a moment and comes out very amiable. She is not stubborn usually - It is only when she becomes extremely angry that she can hold out over a minute. It is not that she does not yield easily but that she repeats the same misdemeanors which troubles me most, and that I can find no motive or inducement superior to the strength of her passion. Give me of your wisdom, and may our kind Heavenly Father help us both to know what is most needed to guide her little life aright. The sweet little creature was talking to herself this morning and she said "I want to see papa" She says "yes" when we ask her ifshe wants to see you, but I never heard her say it all of herself before.-- I was extremely sorry to read that you were sick again. So many letters had repeated the assurance that you were very well that I began to hope you would have no more attacks, and I cannot but feel troubled about you yet notwithstanding your assurances that I need not. Has Harry written you any thing about coming home for a few weeks? He said to me a few days ago that you must come home awhile, I did not ask why; but if it was for any congressional purpose I hope you will not allow your judgement to be influenced by him. Much as I want to see you I would rather not for a year more than have as many questions asked and suspicions started as have been concerning Col. Hazen's visit. Harry has gone to Massilon and perhaps will visit you before he returns. He did not know when he left and was to send word if he did so that I might send something to you. I have heard nothing yet; and I most hope he will not; for is it quite right for him to go as you propose? I am afraid Uncle Sam would think his expenditures were nearly heavy enough now without paying the traveling expenses of visitors to his servants. I cannot bear to have you do anything which bears the least semblance to that which is not strictly honorable. May be I do not understand all about it. Do not be displeased with me for writing what I have, but tell me if I'm wrong. I hope you will write often now that you are moving about whether you hear from me or not. I shall write whenever I know where to address you. With all our love Crete and Trot.P.S. I forgot to mention the check you sent. Thank you. That will pay Miss Booth, and I think I have enough to last me until you can send more. Your CreteHead Quarters 20th Brigade Tuscumbia Ala. June 23. 1862 My Dear Crete, On the 19th inst I had just received yours of the 19th of April. Written just two calendar months before. Where it could have been all that time is quite a mystery. I bore no indications of having been missent--and came with no other postmark than Hiram. Notwithstanding its age, I was glad to receive it. It alarms me to think we are getting so old. You wrote on your 30th birth-day--and [???][???] but from months behind my 31st. "Sic anni fugaces labuntur" and away we go with them. We are thirty. Do you remember what the Philosopher poet say of us? "At thirty man suspects himself [???]-- and then he give us such a [???] prospective future in the next [???] "Knows it at forty &c" and then after leading us through the decades dismisses us with the cheerful hope of his last four words--"then dies the saint," [175]In the letter before me, you refer to the matter of Joe's pay. It was the business of Capt McGrath to make out a full final statement of his pay and clothing account in duplicate, accompanied by a regular discharge. Nobody can [date?] that but the Capt of his old Company, who has the company books and all the company accounts. If Joe has not got that he must write to Capt McGrath and get it. Tell him so in a letter. Why don't the boy write to me? This is the eighth day I have presided seven or eight hours per day over the deliberations of a General Court Martial, and still the work piles up. I have been slowly recovering from my sickness till day before yesterday I had a [???]. I begin to fear that I shall be [p??nally] subject to this kind of attack while I stay in this climate. I am anxious to get on into the uplands & mountains of East Tennessee, both for the sake of active work--and better air & waters. I have no doubt it will be much healthier there than here, and then I hope to meet again my old friends of the Sandy Valley region. x x x x x x Just now I was surprised by a burst of music about ten feet to the rear of my tent. It is a little band of slave minstrels who have come up from the village to visit our colored people--and to serenade me. The rude music is really charming. I wish you could hear it, only you would be displeased at the "Sulinth" portion of the entertainment. Do you remember that feature of negro performances-- which you and I heard somewhere. Poor fellows! How can they sing songs?--They told Green if the army would only protect them they would follow us to the end of the world. But they get no [???] nance from an American [???] the sum to be as much [???] enemies [???] their [???] I am so unwell, you will excuse me for not writing [???]. Though a sort of dizzy feeling in the head & a sickness at the stomach [???]I hope you have written me fully about the commencement, & have sent me a programme & Catalogue Love to all & especially to "Trot" Ever you James. [*The Poem you sent me - "In State" is exceedngly fine — It is greatly admired by all to whom I have whom it.*][Army of Ohio] [Huntsville Ala.] Hiram June 27th 1862 My Dear Jamie; Yesterday morning Col. Hazen called and gave me an opportunity to send a letter to you. I was very thankful indeed for I very much doubt whether the letters I have sent you since the evacuation of Corinth ever reach you. I received your letter from--Tuscumbia two nights ago--was glad to learn that you are better still I fear that you are not able to endure the fatigue of marching. Col. Hazen says if you have had fever he thinks you will be obliged to come home before the summer is over. I don't want you to be sick [236]but I do wish you could come home and stay a few weeks, if for nothing else but to be with our little girl. I am afraid she will not be so pretty a year hence. I think too we could all manage to help make the time pass agreeably to you. If Harry goes to see you I presume he will use all his influence to bring you back with him, and if it will not in any way compromise your honor or dignity I hope you will come. I wrote you a long letter Sunday telling you a great deal about Trot. I will not repeat it lest you get the letter and if you do not I will talk it to you when you come. Next Thursday she will be two years old and I hope you will write something to be put in her book. Send little special messages sometimes. They will be so precious to her in years to come. I do want that we should so live with her that she may feel that we are loving companions rather than stern guardians.-- Almeda and I are going to Newton Falls and Warren in the course of a week or two to spend several days. Do you not wish you were here to go with us? Mrs. Cox has been urging me for the last year to come and spend several weeks with her, and I have promised to do so this Fall. I confess I dread it a little for the more I know of Mrs. Cox it seems to me she is a discontent restless spirit with far more vanity and ambition than she has of good nature to bear the privationsand trials which they bring.-- Augustus quite to our astonishment was here commencement. He is looking the best I ever saw him. A few nights ago I received a line from Mr. Pierson Cleveland asking about Mr. Green--your hostler--. His wife has heard nothing from him for months and feels great anxiety concerning him. I wrote him that he was with you and that I would let him know how to address him as soon as I heard from you what the change would be. Green ought to write to his wife or get some one to write for him if he cannot. I was very much interested in your account of your Contraband Jim, and I shall remember all you have written about him. The 42nd, are on the east side of the mountain now. I hope that you will be with them again when you get up there.-- I wrote you Sunday that I was going over to see Almeda onMonday to have her help me gather up some items from you life for Dr. Robison, but it rained all day so that I could not go and as the Doctor urged an immediate reply I did the best I could alone. I gave him a list of the most important dates from which he can choose what he likes. I was sorry I could not go to see her as I have far more confidence in her judgement than in his concerning what would be suitable for a Biographical sketch, or at least as to what would give the most faithful representation of you. I wish I knew what you are most wanting, so that I might send you something that would be acceptable, but I can think of nothing but my love and best wishes. Substantial comforts! Yours forever Crete. [*237*]Head Quarters 20th Brigade In Camp Near Decatur Ala July 5.1862 My Dear Crete. By some unaccountable delay your letter of June 9th did not reach me till last night through I had ten days ago received one from Harry mailed at Solon June 16th. One also came last night from Harry mailed at Newton Falls June 28th. There would seem to be some fault at the Hiram Office. Till last night I have had no mail since we left [Tns cumbria?] ten days ago - but we are now in R.R. communication with the North & I hope our mails will be more regular and rapid. I am sorry to have to tell you that my health is not only not improving but getting worse. I have kept hoping that each attack of my besetting disease would be the last but it has lately returned with a vigor and stubbornness which I am quite unable to control. I had begun to regain strength & weight. was weighed 177 pounds but the last week has seen me down to 168 - and I am suffering a good deal of pain as well as weakness. If I do not get better soon [*176*]I shall get a sick leave to go as far as Cincinnati if not all the way home. Still I am hoping to be able to work on till I can set myself right-- though I have not been so much discouraged about my health since I came into the army. We have rebuilt over a hundred miles of Rail Road, and are now lying still with no apparent aim or future purposes It has been supposed we were going into East Tennessee, and it may still be our destination but there seems to be no rigorous symptoms of any movement. Gen Mitchell has accomplished a good deal, but his men have committed the most shameful outrages in the country here that the history of this war has shown. He (Gen. M.) is reported to have resigned. At any rate he has gone to Washington to see about his future in some way. A number of people have written me about running for Congress this fall. I have not determined what to say about it, until I can learn more of the state of feeling throughout the district. I would of course, rather be in Congress than in the Army, if there is to be no more active service, for I have no taste for the dull monotony of Camp life, and then believe I can dispose of my life to more advantage than to confine it to the inglorious quiet of a Brigade camp. Still, I am very unwilling to do anything that would look like a desire to leave my place in the army, nor will I as long as my health will hold out. It is that which made me say, I might go as far as Cincinnati, if I did not go clear through home--should I continue unwell very much longer. To go home just now, would I fear be misconstrued into a purpose to make political capital for myself. I have been thoroughly dead militarily since I came to the Tennessee that I hardly see how I can be sufficiently remembered to make my return a matter of much comment, still it might be, and I don't why it is, but I have a more than usual honor at being handed over the coals of political persecution again. What do you hear said about the Congressional Matter? I wish you would send me a Catalogue of the Eclectic & also tell me about the Commencement. Have you recd a letter from enclosing $50.? I sent it about the 12th of June. I thought of our little darling a thousand times on the 3rd and wondered how manyof her birth-days I should be permitted to enjoy with her. Dear little creature I cannot tell you how anxious I ma for her growth in beauty health and intelligence. Yesterday we had a celebration of the 4th I was hardly able to sit up but the Officers of the Division insisted that I should speak. I went out and spoke about 20 or 30 minutes. I did not know but I had lost the trick of speech but I found the old feeling coming back to me, with all its memories of other days. [The] We had a very pleasant time though a strange one. Several Disciples of the vicinity had been here to visit me. There is a church in the Village of Mooresville near by & they have sent [???] up inviting me to speak to them on Sunday next. If I am not too unwell I have a notion to speak to them. I hope to hear from you again in regard to what you think about the matters referred to above. Love to all Ever Your James.[*Huntsville Ala*] Hiram July 6th 1862 My Dear Jamie: I don't know how your poor boys live now. The heat is scorching, and even here in this northern climate where we can keep quiet in the shade we are almost suffering: how you live either in the sultry atmosphere of camp or beneath the scorching sun while on your fatiguing marches, I can scarcely conceive. When I think of the suffering in our army I feel that it is wicked for me to do anything but work for the relief of our poor boys; but we are so far removed from it all - Every thing around us is peaceful and I am afraid we give ourselves up [*238*]too much rather to the strife to make our own time pass agreeably than to the soil which would give comfort to our loved ones while they are away from us. I cannot leave our little darling to go to the sufferers but lately I have been thinking more seriously than ever before that I ought to give up more of my time to the work I can do for them at home. I think I must [reform?].-- I would give a world to know where you are to night. For eight long months my thoughts have never been able to reach out to any certainty of you. No letter has reached me in less than a week after it was written and a response to any thing I have written has spawned more than a month of weeks. You don't know how my heart aches sometimes for just one moment's certainty of yours and one mutual heart throb. O my darling darling Jamie I have almost a mind to grow sentimental over you again. I am sure I should if I had not learned long ago that such a great unruly fellow would expect all sentiment the very first moment of actual presence again. I was hoping to get another letter last week but day after day passed and none came. The Leader of last Thursday contained an extract from a letter written by someone of your Brigade stating that you had been at Tuscumbia for a week presiding over a court-martial there [sitting?] so I judge from that, that you did not leave for Decatur the morning after you last wrote. Twice the report has been brought to methat with your Brigade you were hastening on to Richmond. But I give you such reports little credit for I think you would drop a line from some point that would reach me as soon as any authentic report could. I must stop now but I am sure you would pardon me if you knew how many times I have been interrupted since [it was] I commenced, we have had an addition to our family of a nice pair of twin-boys introduced by sister [Mat?]. They are a week old to day. Trot is wonderfully delighted with them. No more now. Your loving Crete[*see P R? July 7/62*] Aurora July 12th 1862 My Dear James, I have been waiting most anxiously for the last week for a letter from you so that I might forward the in- closed letter from Mr. Spenser. This morning I came over here called for Miss Booth, and we are now with Sister Hanner feeling glad to be here but sad that you cannot be with us. I have never been here before without you. Miss Booth has a letter from dated from Decatur directing how to address you so I send this in her letter. Little Trot is with me now sitting on the floor up in the [*239*]corner by the woodbox, tearing a piece of paper and singing to herself "Mayay had a ittle lamb twas as white as snow." I must tell you of some of her gymnastic feats. She had been been able to jump off from anything an inch high until a few days ago she succeeded in leaping - one foot at a time from a stool. She was mighty pleased and then thought she would try jumping from a chair as her cousin Bert did. She got up and swung her arms very brave - stooped over to leap - but O. Her little heart failed - but not her pride, so she slipped down very quick, and looked up with an air of great importance, and said "there." We are going to stay here a few days, then go to Solon. I hope you are entirely well. I am suffering with a most excruciating tooth ache so that I cannot write more. Please write soon. Yours forever Crete Hanna says your friends from the "shanty" don't hear from you very often.Athens Ala, July 17. 1862 My dear Crete, Your two favors - one of June 27. by the hand of Cal Hozen, and the other by post dated July 6th were received within a few days of each other, and since I have been in this place. This is the 12th day of the Court Marshal, and we have only just closed the evidence for the prosecution. The case is a very important one - but exceedingly tedious in the almost endless extent of its details. The horrible character of the outrages which have been committed here are in striking contrast with the character of the officer (Cal Turchin) who is charged with the responsibility of allowing their perpetration. From the accounts we had heard of him & his doings - we had expected to meet as fierce & brutal a Muscovite as the domain of the Czar could produce. But though he is a Russian, by birth and education, yet when he came into court, we met - a fine manly figure, with broad expansive forehead, mild blue eye with an unusual depth of piercing intelligence which at once won respect - [*177*] [*In order to receive letter from loss, should it be sent to the "Dead Letter Office," the writers name should always appear on it in full some where I dont know but we better reform in this matter*]Though he was suffering from the effects of fever which gave him a most severe headache - he was not excused by the court, and for ten days he has sat patiently while citizen after citizen (rebels all) have rehearsed and we have recorded the outrages of the men under his command. Though by a fiction of military law, the prosecution has been striving to fix upon him the responsibility for robbery of citizens & rapes of female slaves. Yet during all that time he has borne himself so much like a noble souled man that he has quite won my heart - In conversation with me today I gathered his history as follows - He was educated in the Artillery school at St Petersburg, and after having done time in the army entered the Imperial Military Academy, and there graduated, winning a place on the Imperial Staff. During the Crimean War he was Col on the Czar's staff and had the control of 30,000 men. There are few places in the American Army that afford more honor or emoluments than that, but said he to me, "The dream of Freedom was before my eye and in my heart, and I could not rest" I abandoned my post in the army - gave up my serfs (for I owned a number) and came to America. I had studied engineering in my native land, and having settled in Chicago. I became an engineer on the Ill. Central R.R. When the war broke out I was called to command a regiment, and have lately been nominated by the President as Brig. Gen. but I do not want a military position. I left the act of war in the Old World to reap the peacable fruits of freedom in the new, but since I have been in this army I have tried to act for the best interests of this noble country. I have tried to teach rebels, that treachery to the union was a terrible crime. My Superior officers do not agree with my plans. They want the rebellion healed tenderly and gently. They may cashier me, but I shall appeal to the American people, and implore them to wage this war in such a manner as will make humanity better for it," I have tried to give you the substance of the thoughts of a man, who will probably be dishonorably dismissed from the army in a few days, but who, nevertheless, has won my heart, and whom I will always be glad to call a friend. My duties are exceedingly unpleasant. Col Stanly - a [*Crete, This letter came last night and we will send it right on to you, We have not heard from John since two weeks ago tonight and I feel considerable worried about him I dont see what is the matter. We are all well and getting along well. The babies are growing finely. We call them Devi and Earnest,*] [*Susie and I went down to Gustus funeral and then went on down to Brimfield and came back Sunday evening. Ruf Huntion has been home on a furlough and came out here. I expect he has gone back now Cam Rockwell happened to come out while he was here so we had [*quite a visit. They came a week ago Saturday. Write and let us know when you are coming home. Nell -*]brother Senator in 1860-1. And Capt (Prof) Edgarton of Cleveland are both to be tried before us - - - I am glad to tell you that I am considerably better. Indeed I am here got almost entirely well since my last letter. I am stopping a [Dy?] Machin's, a wealthy planter, where I have a fine room & the best of accommodations. I take a shower bath every morning. Doesn't that astonish you? Tomorrow, during a recess of the court. I go out with him nine miles visit his plantation and 95 slaves. As I have long expected, the enemy has [now?] through our extended lines and cut off several important lines of communication. We have been cut off from Nashville several days & our whole army is on half rations. Again I repeat the sad truth that we have no Generals. In this respect the South has far outstripped us. How long I shall be on this court I cannot tell - I fear, a long time. Write me at this place & it will reach me whether here or not. Give my love to all the folks. Especially to Natt & her numerous family - Kiss our dear little Trot for me. I thought of her on her birth day, but was too ill to write, Ever Yours James - J.A. Garfield.Biographic Sketch of General Jas. A. Garfield. The position now occupied by Gen Garfield as a distinguished officer in the army of the Union, and as a Union candidate for Congress in the XIXth Congressional District of Ohio, creates, naturally and properly, on the part of the people, a desire to know more of his early history. Gen. Garfield is yet a young man. He struggled successfully with early obstacles and disadvantages, exhibiting an energy and an ability rarely shown. In every position in which he has been called to act, he has exhibited an industry, a capacity and a capability which have elicited general commendation and admiration. Gen. Garfield is an effective and eloquent public speaker, a ready and powerful debater, and rapidly possess himself of a full knowledge of every subject to which he turns his attention. He is of pure and spotless private reputation, presenting, in all the adornments of a high-toned morality, one of the most attractive samples of a christian gentleman. As a friend, he is candid, faithful and sincere, and always reliable - a a General Officer, he is clear, prompt and judicious in decision, and energetic and effective in action - as a legislator, he is comprehensive and elevated in his views, and is far above the petty schemes and strategies of subtle managers - brilliant in natural endowments, his intellect is broad and comprehensive, and his attainments of the highest order. It need not surprise any one that such a man should rise rapidly in public estimation, or that he should become the idol of the people - for manly virtue, integrity and uprightness, coupled with abilities of a high order, will always secure public regarding a confidence. In speaking of the high qualifies which Gen. Garfield has exhibited, we have not exaggerated or overdrawn the picture - and we hesitate not to predict for him, if his life is spared, a future at once brilliant and useful. Gen. James A. Garfield was born in Orange, Cuyahoga CO., Ohio, Nov. 19th, 1831, making him now nearly 31 years of age. His early life was spent in laboring wherever opportunity offered, and during one Summer, that of 1843, was a boatman on the Ohio Canal. His parents being poor, he was obliged to labor from his earliest years. His father died when he was a year and a half old. At the age of 19, after having taught district school for two terms, he entered the Eclectic Institute at Hiram, Portage County. He assisted himself the first term by "ringing the bell." He soon gave evidence of more than ordinary powers for the acquisition and communication of knowledge and was chosen to fill a vacancy among the assistant teachers. He was rapidly promoted, until he became one of the main reliances. In the meantime, in addition to his daily labors, he prepared himself for college. In the Summer of 1854 he went to Williams College, Massachusetts - entering the last term of the Sophomore year. In 1856 he graduated. In all colleges there are occasionally men to whom succeeding classes look back almost with veneration. There are men to whom an important future is un-hesitatingly conceded by professors and students. Gen. Garfield was of that number; and of his entire class of sixty, he has taken the lead. In the Fall of 1856 he returned to Hiram, and was made Teacher of Ancient Languages and Literature. In 1857, on the resignation of the former Principal, Rev. A. S. Hayden, he was made Chairman of the Board of Instruction. In 1858 he was made Principal. In the Fall of 1859 he was elected to the State Senate, where he served with great success, and acquired a State wide reputation as an able legislator. During the session of 1860-61 he labored zealously to prepare the State for the coming storm, and became one of the principal advisers of the Governor. In January, 1861, having for several years previously studied with an eye to the future practices of law, he was admitted to the bar by the Supreme Court of the State. In September, 1861, he accepted the position of Lieutenant Colonel of the 42d O. V. M. He was shortly after promoted to the Colonency. The rebels, led by Humphrey Marshall, had driven out all the Union men, and were threatening to take possession the Blue Grass country. Col. Garfield, with a portion of his brigade, proceeded up the Big Sandy. In twenty days after leaving Camp Chase he had penetrated about one hundred miles into the mountain fastnesses of Eastern Kentucky. On the 9th of January, 1862, with 1100 picked men, he advanced upon Marshall, feeling every inch of his way by scouts. Through the dreariest mud, the heaviest rains, and the darkness, he proceeded. On the 10th, at the forks of Middle Creek, Floyd Co., Ky., he met the gallant Humphrey, posted with 4,000 men on a range of hills. Marshall was routed after a flight of four and a half hours, Garfield's 1100 being, at that time, reinforced by 700 more, whom he had ordered up. The Louisville Journal at the time said: "There has been no more brilliant movement since the rebellion broke out. For well-concerted strategy, celerity of movement and recklessness of opposing odds, Col. Garfield certainly bears the palm." For this brilliant achievement, he and his brave soldiers were warmly complimented in the following General Order: Head Quarters Department of the Ohio, Louisville, Ky., January 20th, 1868. The General Commanding takes occasion to thank Colonel Garfield and his troops for their successful campaign against the rebel forces under Gen. Marshall on the big Sandy, and their gallant conduct in battle. They have overcome formidable difficulties in the character of the country, the condition of the roads, and inclemency of the season; and, without _______, have in several engagements, terminating with the battle on Middle Creek on the 11th _____, driven the enemy from his entrenched positions, and forced him back into the mountains with the loss of a large amount of baggage and stores, and many of his men killed or captured. These services have called into action the highest qualities of a soldier - fortitude, perseverance, courage. By command of General Bueli. James B. Fry, A. A .G., Chief of Staff In a few weeks afterwards, he again, by a forced march, surprised and routed the rebels at Pound Gap - the key between Virginia and Kentucky. For these signal services he was commissioned a Brigadier General - his commission bearing date January 16, 1862. Eastern Kentucky having been cleared out, he was ordered to Nashville. By riding night and day from there, he arrived at Pittsburg Landing on the second day of this great battle. He was ordered to the front with the brigade, and was witness of the final routing of the rebels. From that time he labored in Northern Alabama and Mississippi, until early in August last, when he unwillingly yielded to a chronic diarrhea of three months standing, and was ordered, if he wanted to save his life, to return home. He reached home about a month since, and by rest, freedom from care and anxiety, and judicious medical treatment, he is slowly, but steadily recovering, and will soon be ready to report himself for duty. Compliment to Gen. Garfield. Speaking of the nomination of Gen. Garfield for Congress, the Toledo Blade says: General Garfield is well known as one of the most gallant and successful officers in the army, as well as a capable legislator, and his nomination is no more than a just recognition of faithful services rendered. His election, of course, is virtually settled. Warren July 20th 1862 My Dear Jamie : [*Huntsville, Ala*] The past week finally brought me another letter: the first for almost four long weeks. I need not tell you how glad I was to hold in my hand and let my eye follow the lines of another letter from you; but I am made exceedingly anxious by what it contains concerning your health. I don't know but politics is to be the death of you yet. If life and health are to be made secondary to political interests I shall certainly regret that your friends have made any move regarding them. Since the move has been made however I fear you cannot come home on any plea [*240*] [*(Con. from page 6th) That you have done nothing yet militarily to deserve it. & e.G e. Of course he has a right to his opinion but I cannot tell you how indignant I am that he should have shown to me such a false face, and in the guise of friendship urged the necessity of your friends making more strenuous efforts for your nomination. He need not have said anything about it if he did not favor you. Thanks to my reserve for once I said nothing out of which he could make any [capitel?]. Darling Jamie I feel as though I wanted to take you all home to my heart and hide you away in some corner of it where the bitterness and calumny of political foes and the envy of little souls could never reach you. But you are too big and brave, and I can only stand by you and let my presence shield a little spot. Yours much lovingly Crete.*]without subjecting yourself to much severe and unkind criticism. It is too bad, but if you can do no better you must come as far as Cincinnati. And I hope you will do so immediately unless you are getting better. _ Miss Booth and I came down here _ (to Bro. [H-?]) last Friday morning. [Herman?] is feeling great anxiety about the best course to pursue in regard to you and is working in his quiet cautious way to accomplish what he has undertaken. Yesterday morning he went with [Almeda?] and Miss [B--p?] to attend a Methodist conference now sitting at Youngstown with the secret purpose of sounding as many as he might be able of those he would meet there from Southern Trumbull and [M----?] counties. I met Maj. Hal on the street yesterday. After chatting a moment he remarked that he noticed in one of the Ashtabula papers that your name was proposed as candidate for the coming nomination. I did not know whether to count him as friend or foe, so made only an indifferent response. He then went on to say that he was afraid from the style of the article that it was not authorized and would not make much impression. From some remarks that followed I thought I might count him friend, so drew him out to tell what he thought your prospects were. He said he thought there was no doubt but that Ashtabula Co. would go for you if it were generally known that you would accept it. He said the impression was quite general that you did not want it and some of the other candidates were trying to strengthen that impression for their own advantage. I did not think best to say very much but told him you did not want any great effort made to gain the nomination + still if the people gave it to you voluntarily I presumed you would accept it. He seemed to think there was not enough being done in Portage. I shall tell Mr. Rush what he said when he returns and he can take it for what it is worth. I sent you in Miss Booth's letter of a week ago a letter to you from Mr. Spencer regarding the matter, and asking you if you would allow your name to go before the people as a candidate. We sent8. the letter via Nashville and perhaps you may never get it. Are you not growing discouraged at our present prospects? It seems to me the night grows darker. I should have had a very pleasant visit at Aurora had it not been for my face. One of my teeth ulcerated and my face was so swollen as to shut one eye. But it soon gathered and discharged a good deal so that it is now almost entirely well. [This is] Trot has behaved herself like a little lady. She and Charlie Harmon had some grand plays. She is so pleasant and happy and behaves so well most of the time that it seems to be a pleasure to every one to have her around. Yesterday she went down town with us and I took her to a barber's and had her hair shingled. She was a little afraid but I held her on my lap and with a little easing and telling her that [*241*][** P.S. Mr. Austin sent you a letter some ten days ago to Decatur. All send their best love. Crete.**] she must sit still we got along very well with her. This is the first time her hair has been cut, and I send you a little curl to put in with her picture. You can not think how much she looks like you with her hair cut. Do you remember the image of Wellington Hanna has standing among her houseplants? Trot persisted in calling it papa. And one day I found her sitting on the stone hearth holding it close in her arms. When she saw me coming she hugged it up close to her little heart and says "O I [?] Papa" I do want you to see her so much. I don't know why my letters do not reach you. I write every week and wait two three and sometimes four weeks for a word from you. I sometimes feel as though I much cry. When Miss Booth gets back from Youngstown we are going to visit Libbie at her home then I am going on to Solon. Almeda has received your letter containing Capt [Ph---'s?] order. We should be most happy to obey; but most probably shall be obliged to plead inability. Wednesday morning. I had no idea of keeping this unfinished until this time But it is just as well; for Mr. Austin and Miss Booth have returned and Miss Booth will write too. Mr. Austin tells me that Hath is blowing around about you. Saying that you ought not to have the nomination. (See first page) Solon 27th July 1862 My Dear Jamie; [*Huntsville Ala*] I scarce know how to tell you of the sad event which now fills all our hearts with pain. Augustus is dead. We had all supposed him will and he thought himself so until he suddenly grew worse and died. I have not heard the particulars yet - did not hear of his death 'til yesterday - the day of his burial. Had I heard in season I should have tried to attend the funeral service. I cannot tell how shocked and overwhelmed with grief is my heart. It seems to me I cannot be reconciled to it. All through his long illness we waited and watched anxiously for every word of hope - even when it seemed there was no hope, and when he began to recover we felt so sure of him again, and now he is snatched from us so suddenly. When he was up at commencement his face was so bright and hopeful and life seemed coming back to him so gently and in such a healthy current that our hearts were filled with thankful gladness. In all that large circle of his old friends gathered then every eye turned [*143*] [*P.S. I hope you will find Col. Turchin guilty of nothing unpardonable - for the sympathies of the North are far more with him than with the pro-slavery tendencies of Gen. Buell. And as some one has expressed it, we feel that the General's severity and sternness should be turned to the punishment of rebels - for the barbarities committed on our boys rather than to the punishment of our own for severe and prompt action. It seems very strange that as soon as a man begins to accomplish something in the way of putting down the rebellion, he is at once recalled or superseded, or disgraced in some way. I am afraid there is a world of integrity in our own army to be crushed out yet before we can do any thing effectively. But we must labor and wait, perhaps time will show all to be right. Again your own Crete.*]to him with such delighted surprise and gave him such a glad welcome that life seemed almost assured to him. It seems to me as I think of it now that I never felt surer of life for any one than I felt for him then, and to think now that he has fallen back even into the ground down, down into that cold sleep from which the last [?] changing hope of agonized hearts so lifted. I can scarce evidence the thought. Augustus was very dear to me. I loved him little less than my own brothers, and not often has death reached nearer to my heart. I know too how you will grieve; but cannot think of the suffering of those from whom life's all has been taken. I can only weep and pray for them. More than a week has passed since I received your last- a week of anxiety and torture concerning your health. The weather has been very warm and I cannot but fear that your disease instead of abating is getting a stronger hold of you, and Jamie there is danger- more than you are perhaps aware- that it may lead on to quick consumption. I do greatly desire that if you are no better you will come worse, and that you would come home as soon as the court martial was through. I hope you will indeed.__ Trot behaved herself better than any little child I saw there that night; but she grew very tired and when the crowd began to disperse she was determined to rush right into the street among the horses, she seems not to have the least fear. I waited until the people were nearly all away and she grew so angry that she threw off her bonnet and screamed with rage. I made her pick up her bonnet and put it on her head quite to the distress of Aunt Anna who said the poor child shouldn't be made to pick it up when she did not know what she was about. She was not subdued even then but marched on alone clear to the swamp allowing no one to lead her or touch her, and I thought it was as well to let her walk off her spunk. The friends here are all pretty well and all extremely anxious to see you again. Harry Jones is very sure that you will get up to the Gap with the 22nd again and he said last night "Will he not be greeted with such sheeving and shouting, such throwing of caps and firing of guns?" He is out on a recruiting expedition to raise 140 men to fill the Regiment again with the hope of seeing you in at most and with love without measure I am your own Crete.WESTERN UNION TELEGRAPH COMPANY, No. 1.] TERMS AND CONDITIONS ON WHICH MESSAGES ARE RECIEVED BY THIS COMPANY FOR TRANSMISSION. [telegraph form] A. STAGER, Gen. Sup't, Cleveland, Ohio. I. R. ELWOOD, Sec'y, Rochester, N. Y. To Mrs. J.A. Garfield tax August 1862 By Telegraph from Cleveland 7th 1862 I am here unwell - will wait at Weddall - Answer J A Garfield Brig Genl[*? Garfield*] [*Newburg? Ohio*] Monongahela House, Pittsburgh Wednesday Eve, Sep 17. 1862. My Dear Good Crete, You did not expect a letter so soon. The fact that my trunk was left led me to think it most safe for me to wait here for its arrival as it might be lost if I should go on without it. Then I found myself somewhat sleepy and tired, and I took the leaving of the trunk as one of the "providential interferences" to give me more rest - I am sorry that [Green?] did not go with me and yet my future is so indefinite that I can't tell what is best. It may be just right that he didn't come - He forgot to bring my revolver along. I hope it will come with the trunk for I shall need it - The trunk will be along at 3 oclock tomorrow morning. at which time I take the train for Harrisburg - I shall go to [*182*]bed in a few minutes and try to rest before starting. When I got here I was quite weary, but I took a good bath + have just taken a frugal supper. I caught myself eating warm bread and remembering your wishes! It was a great pleasure to lay the [trifling?] "hot roll" away, while I thought of you, and wished you were with me. I cannot tell you how glad my heart is at the remembrance of my visit with you. It has been so much more than I have dared to hope for the last two years and more, that my soul is full of thanksgiving. If this still, lone room could now be filled with your dear presence I would not even be tired nor sick. I do not [own?] to day I am sick for I think I am coming right up out of the valley, but it would make my heart so light and happy if you could be with me now, and shed around me the brightness of the new light that I might breathe the fragrance of the "alabaster box." which, so long sealed, has been broken at last. Everything conspired to make the visit dear to me and its close was worthy of its whole course + character. Our little darling never put her arms around my neck + hugged and kissed me so lovingly as in the farewell embrace. You walked and talked with me till the train whistled and you tossed a sweet kiss after the flying train. It was all as my fondest wishes could ask and it all augurs good for the future. I shall hope soon after my arrival to receive a dear letter with a heart full of love from you _ _ _ I send you a slip from the Portage Democrat whichI found as I came along the road Mother may be pleased to read it_ The news today looks more encouraging. God grant we may soon see the end of the war_ though I dare not hope that the end is very nigh. As I draw nearer Washington my own future looks more and more uncertain It seems as though the individual would be lost in the magnitude of the whole great movement. I must close + rest. I will read a chapter in the little Testament for you and me and ask God to be with you before I sleep. And now, my precious darling_ with my heart very warm and full of love to you and with me best "God bless you" and warm kisses for you and Trot. I give you Goodnight. Ever + forever, Your own James. [*Wash DC*] Uncle Tom's Thursday morn. Sept 18th 1862 My Dear Jamie: My own darling husband: I did not as I promised write you yesterday. When you left me yesterday and the long weary months of another separation loomed up before me I must either have yielded to wild passionate grief as let all be forgotten in physical weariness and weakness. The latter triumphed and after dragging home through the burning sunshine I threw myself on the lounge and slept. When I awoke it so as only to a stupor which could neither think nor feel, and a little past seven in the evening I shut myself in our room and was soon dreaming of you. But now dearest I am wide awake to [*245*]all the precious sweetness of the last few weeks and to all the unutterable loneliness your absense gives. My heart was so full of happiness to see you so happy; and so full of that old love was my own heart. Jamie I do love you with such fondness and nearness as I have never known before. I have dreamed of it, have thought about it, and hoped for it, but never have known it before. From the pierced side gushes the healing stream. Through the confession of our own desires and yielding up ourselves to that silence of [death?] we have passed through the grave to the resurrection morn. Like the poor disciples at the tomb we waited hoping yet fearing and doubting, but forth from the darkness has passed our risen love and a day of eternal glory and brightness has [descended?] upon us. In my heart there is not one doubt, not one fear. What I have never known before I know now: that our love is perfect; and all is peace. I trust in you most entirely. Though I can scarcely comprehend all that has passed all that you said to me only a few hours ago, yet I believe in you and have not one doubt that you are now and ever have been a true man. From our baptism of sorrow I have risen to a new life into which no doubts or questionings enter_ a life of faith and love and holy joy. O how good is God for all his mercy towards us; and with all my gratitude to Him is mingled the petition that not many shall be the days of our desperation. I have never so missed you before, never so desired that you might remain always with us. Evening_ I have just returned from the fair_ where I went more to please others than myself. Still I have had a pleasant time. Saw several old friends who inquired about you and expressed their regard and anxiety for you. Aunt [Fanny?] [Sage?] said how much she wanted to grasp your good old hand again. I hope you are nearly through your journey by this time and are none the worse from the fatigue. I cannot but be extremely anxious about you there is so great a liability that you may be thrown back into a condition worse even than you have ever been. Still I am at the same time hopeful for you. I have so much faith in your native vigor. Try and use as much caution as you can. Tell me all about yourself, and write often and long. Little Trot asks if papa is coming every time she hears the cart. I think she too misses you. Your own loving Crete.Willard's, Washington D.C. Sep. 20th 1862 My Precious Crete, I reached here yesterday morning at 9 1/2 having spent the previous night at Baltimore. I was quite tired but am now feeling very well. My ankle is still sore and a little lame I have been pretty busy since I came, doing some little errands from friends and for myself. I took dinner at 4 1/2 last evening with Sec Chase at his house - His daughter, Kate is quite a belle here, from what I learn. They have a fine residence, and live in splendid style. Mr Chase seems to be the only member of the Cabinet who stands firmly up with Stanton for more property Stanton stands up by him for the vigorous prosecution of the war for pardons & the union's sake. Chase is I believe by far the strangest man in the administration, [*In Baltimore. I spend the little book at Nandine and chanced upon the 60th Psalm. Read it -*]and he seems to be thoroughly imbued with a moral and religious sense of the duties of the government in relation to the War; My interview with him and Stanton yesterday was satisfactory so far as they are concerned. They would give me any place in their power but Stanton said it would be difficult to give me any place which would save me from West Point. I had a long interview yesterday with John Hutchins, the result of which I wrote in a letter to Almeda - I wrote you from Pittsburgh and have been anxiously watch in the "Ebbitt House" P.O. to find your letter but it has not yet come. I shall hope to get it to day. I found that I sense not a pleasant one & so came here - The board is heavy both in quality & cost - ($17 1/2 per week) but it is central and I hope not to be here long. I have not yet come to any conclusion about where I would like to go. Of course I would like to go to Cumberland Gap and Stanton wants me there but says he cannot do it now, without wronging Gen Morgan. I did think about going to Port Royal, but Gen Hunter thinks the Government is bound to neglect that or any other place where negros are to be heated as ever. I may go across the river and visit Gen Sigel this afternoon. I have drawn my pay for July and August amounting in all to $632.48 and I enclose you draft in New York for $500. Remember that is even better than currencey, so do not allow any discount on it - I have also sent to Uncle Thomas the $50 I borrowed of him. I want you to pay Dr Robison the $50 I borrowed of him. and make just as large a payment on the notes I gave Harry as you can consistently with your finances and your own words. I set no limit, but your own judgement, in regard to the extent of your purchases for your housekeeper. Make a special effort with Hall. Ford + Esq Udall, to get the amount they owe me for [?-ing] and use it to take up the Harry note_ Write me fully about your management of [?] matter. I have felt very lonely without you since the Wednesday Morning when I was so sad to leave you, and so glad to love you. I am still both_ and your letters will be read and kissed in lieu of your dear self. Bless and kiss the little darling for me_ God bless you and her. [?] Ever your own James[*Willard Wash DC*] Newburgh 21st Sept 1862 My Own Dear Jamie: Never was my heart so lonely without you - never did it so long each hour for close pressure to your own, and yet never was it so filled with deep and holy joy as it is this rest giving morn. Love for you, and thanks giving and praise to God for all the sweet revelations of our mutual love thrill and fill my "heart from" morn till day eve" and round again to rosy morn. I cannot turn my eyes backward into the mists as darkness which surrounded us with their distanced phantoms; I can only bathe my spirit in the sunshine of love into which we have passed. O my darling how sweet is She says she loves you every time now. Think of us often, and remember her much I love you and desire to be with you. Your own loving Crete [*246*]the peace how rapturous the delight of this new life. I know you would love my kisses and caresses now, and how freely and joyfully could I bestow them. Your precious letter I have read again and again to gather in all its sweet preciousness to my heart; and how has it awakened the old time memories. Jamie write me often such letter, now that heart can again speak to heart. I think of you so much this morning and wonder how and where you are. I hope you are getting better very fast--so fast that there may son be no need that you lay aside the 'tempting hot roll." It was sweet to know you did, and loved to, when you thought of me; still it always gives me pain to ask you to forego any pleasure even the gratification of your palate, and it would be much more of a pleasure to prepare for you the tempting morsel. Yesterday I was at Cleveland to inquire the prices of furniture &c. I have made a rough estimate and think all expenses can be covered with $250, and perhaps with less. Uncle Thomas says that when we come to make the purchases, the Dealers will probably make some reduction so that I can probably come a good deal within this estimate. Still there are a good many little things I did not think of which will require a contingent fund. In selecting many things I wanted like your judgement upon the quality and I hope if you are sent west again that you will manage to spend a little more time at home. Then we can make our purchases as wellas any other time. I have not been able to see cousin James Mason, am sorry and wish you would write to him - if you think best--since he sent the word to you he did by Dr. R. Uncle Thomas was out till two o'clock last night at the primary meeting. Newburgh goes for Spaulding. Uncle thinks the Doctor has not the slightest shade of a chance. Good! The war news is still cheering but can we hope for a speedy termination of it! (the war I mean) Will not the thousands falling on our battlefields now rise up - judgement against the selfish wickedness of our Generals who ought to have prevented it? How do things seem to you now that you are so near? Gen. Cox is winning golden laurels now. I must congratulate his lady. I see that Gen. Nelson is recovering and is to be stationed at Louisville Will that in any way affect your prospects? May the God of peace be with you and keep you to all that is good and glorious. Read often from the little Testament, and treasure its precious truths. Our darling asks the first thing when she wakes up and many times in the day beside, "Where's papa" If you should have an opportunity to remember Joe I know you willHiram 24th Sept 1862. [Willard Wash D.C.] My Own Dearest, I hope you have received my letters before this. I am anxious lest you have not. I sent the first the Friday morning after you left and another last Monday, but directed them only to Washington. I cannot bear to have you left with a moment even to the fear that I am indeed but the cold heartless thing you once supposed or to the fear that I am in anything distrusting you. My heart is so free and joyful, and my love for you so unfettered and so trusting that I want you to know it by every evidence I can give you. I wish you were so near that every [247] nation of the Herald. If it reports him truly he has shown himself very little of a man. Thank you ever so much for the French copy you send me of Fantine. I shall read it with a great deal of pleasure. I will try and become so familiar with the style that I can translate the books you have not read for you. I hope to hear from you very often while you are in Washington. You have more time now than I. The 60th Psalm seems almost prophetic of the thought you have several times expressed that perchance God allows us no [???] so that we may see his power in giving strength to the right. Your own forever Crete. hour I might clasp youu tight in my arms, and with kisses tell you how I love, and how dear and sweet it is to be loved. I am at home again sitting in our own room by the stand on which you wrote when here. I cannot tell how lonely it seemed when I first came in[to] there and felt that the light of your presence had gone out, and so far away. I hope you will not go to Hilton Head for your health's sake. If you are to be entirely overshadowed by West Point it is not worth the while to choose any post where your health or life are to be great endangered. I am getting thoroughly discouraged If the President is the weak man he appears to you to be and the cabinet divided as it now is, I don't know what we are to hope for but slaughter and butchery until some of our Generals meet the fate of those they are leading and better and worthier men fill their places. I don't know but I am looking through "jaundiced eyes". I hope I am--; for I would there were some light though poor little me cannot see it. I received yours of the 20th inst. With the check. I will send the $50.00 to Dr. Robison immediately, and use the remainder with as much economy as possible, or at least with all that I am capable of using. I shall try and save $200.00 of it for Harry Mr. Brown has not been at home since I returned, so no arrangement has been made yet for the house. I am very busy preparing for house-keeping--sewing, canning fruit &c, &c. It is a great pleasure to me I assure you, and I think I shall enjoy keeping up a home of our own very much. Perhaps the novelty may wear off after a while, but it seems to me it will one of the greatest delights I have ever known to take care of your home and make it so inviting that you will love it better than all other places. I hope a great many hours may be allowed you to brighten it with your presence. Little Trot says "where is my big papa" I asked her this morning if she wanted her big papa to come home to kiss her and talk to her and walk with her, she said "I 'ant me big papa to come home to tiss me and walk me bout". She asks about you ever so many times in the day. Since I commenced this I have read the President's Proclamation--. What do you think of it and of its probable effect? Is it not coming round to pretty good Antislavery ground? And is it not a good step towards the end of this terrible conflict? Judge Spaulding received the nomination in the Cuyahoga District. Cousin James came within two votes of it. I am sorry he did not get it. Riddle made a speech which calls down all the indig-Washington. Sep 27th 1862 My Precious Crete, Your two dear letters of the 19th and 21st were received last evening. I had inquired every day at the Post Office, but by some means they had either been delayed on the way or covered up in the mass of matter, not having been directed to my hotel here. I had become very lonely with out a letter from you, but do not my darling, think for one moment that I doubted you or suffered you had not written I have no words to tell you how precious these two letters are to me. It is indeed a "baptism into a new life" [into] [*184*] [my love] [*my love - Ever, anew and forever. your own James*]which our souls have received and which after so many years of hoping and despairing has at last appeared in the fulness of its glory. I bless our Good All Father who has brought us through it all, and I trust our love will be all the more perfect being made so through suffering. You write as you never wrote to me before and my pen is in the hand of my heart--as it has not been for years. It is a joy to me to sit down and let my heart write itself out to you, and yet I tremble in the very fulness of my joy. It is not I trust the trembling of doubt or fear but of joy--the trembling that one feels when the danger is past, & the light of hope peace and safety beams gladly in upon him. Bless your dear true heart for the sweet words you have written to me. My heart followed you back to uncle's and shared the loneliness with you. But you, my dear, have our blessed little one to be with you, and I have only the great world. You can fondle and kiss your companion & be kissed in return. Mine is a great unlovely unloving--unkissing--comrade, to be frowned and whipped into respect even. For the last three days, I have been busy in the study of Florida--its Geog-raphy and topography--and in planning a campaign there. It is still unsettled where I am to go. I think will be Florida or South Carolina. If they determine to retake Charleston I shall choose the latter. If not--the former. I somewhat dislike to be under Gen Mitchell, but I am resolved not to be fault finding. The Pres. & War Dep has trouble enough without my adding to it--and they are kind to me. I should have written to you oftener, but I have been hoping every day to hear from you, and waiting so as to have the pleasure of acknowledging your letter. I sent you $500--on the 20th which I hope has been received before now. I see by the papers that Spaulding is nominated. I am sorry--though I suppose he is a good man. Give my love to all our folks. I am getting better & stronger every day. I have scarcely had a symptom of Diarrhea since I left home. I am sorry I did not bring the Diarrhea Medicine. Kiss Trot a score of times, & receive[*No 2./ [Se 27, 1862] sept*] Evening. 27th. 10 Dearest Wife - I add an appendix to acknowledge the receipt of your dear letter of the 25th. It makes me very glad to read such true dear words from you. I beg of you give me as much of your time as you can. It is a great blessing to be so near that your letters can reach me the second day after they are mailed - Mr Chase & his daughter Kate have insisted that I shall stay with them while I remain in Washington & so I came here this evening with all my luggage. I have a delightful room, and am much better pleased than at the Willards. You may still direct [*185*]my letters there however and I will get them more certainly and speedily than I should if they went to the General Post Office - I am rejoiced that Gen Cox has been doing so well. It is now done to him to be made a Major General, and I have been doing what I can with the Heads of the Department to effect it - If they respect sonority of Commission they cannot issue his claims for his Commission dates May 1862 and many who were made Brigadiers since then have been promoted - I have received two letters from him. He is well, and has grown very much in the esteem of his men since the later battles. The President's proclamation gives great satisfaction among all strong vigorous men. It can only have an adverse effect in Ky and Tenn. and that, whatever, it may be is a thousand times over balanced by the great moral force and significance which the measure will add to the war. The President's heart is right, God grant he may have the strength to stand up to his convictions and carry them out to the full. I wrote a gossiping letter to Harry last night which I presume you will see before this reaches you - I am getting very anxious aboutmy good Capt Swaine & the rest of my staff--and particularly about my horses. They have all arrived safe in Louisville--and I hope soon to be able to order them forward here. I have met Root--a college class-mate--and hear that Gilfillam--another class mate is a Clerk in the Treasury Dept. If so I shall find him I am glad you are pleased with the prospect of keeping house. Would that I could be with you to help you enjoy the reality. You had better close an arrangement with Brown soon, lest he may see that you are preparing for the work, and will keep up his price. Do write me often & long. Love again to Trot and family. Ever, Ever Your James.[Willard Wash D.C.] Hiram 28th Sept. 1862 My Darling Jamie: It seems to me I was never so sad and anxious about you as to day. Your letter of last Monday to Harry was so desponding that I cannot but think about you and feel sorry for you all the while. I think of you as wandering around with weak and weary step finding nothing to interest you, and scarcely desiring anything so enveloped in gloom has everything become--then when go go to your room there is nothing to greet you but the cold uninviting silence. Dear Jamie I wish I were there to make one little spot brighter-- to keep away from your heart the [248] [*about her big papa "way off in Washingdy". Try and be as cheerful as you can and when you get to looking right well have a card photograph taken. Send me one and I will have a few of mine for some of our friends. With my whole heart Your Crete.*]desolations which reigns supreme over every thing else. I wish you were here. You would be happier wouldn't you?--since it is for so little purpose you are there. What can be the outcome when selfishness and corruption bear rule? It seems to me we are almost on the banks of the Red Sea where we can do nothing but stand still and see what God will do for us. As for you I think you must feel somewhat [???] waiting for "something to turn up", and I think too that you will feel none the less in that unfortunate gentleman's condition when that something turns up to you only a position subordinate to another Gen. Wood. I don't wish to say anything unkind but I feel a little as though your call to Washington was but playing out one of Doc Robison's big farces. It seems as though the command at Cumberland Gap would have been more desirable than any other; but since sickness prevented your going to it I call it a "Providential interference" for reasons we cannot now see and perhaps never may. Still I believe it was best that you could not go. Some of your friends here think western Virginia the place for you now; but the paper last night stated that Gen. Milroy was to take the command there so you will be prevented from that will you not? It states also that Sigel is in Washington without a command. Again I wish you were at home with us. You will be obliged to take some place where you can donothing but expose your life to the most imminent danger. I am afraid too that your health is not improving very rapidly, and that you will be induced to take the field too soon. Don't, my darling, I beg of you do not; for I cannot but fear that it would prove fatal. I want you to live not for the country's sake alone, but for my own, and Jamie dear I want to live with you more to be near you to bless you with my love and be blessed, O so blessed with your love so grand and good. I have written a dolorous letter and will not continue it much farther but when I look out over our country's prospects all look so dark. It is not dark within though Never have I lived such days of heart joy. The new light is so perfect and the peace it brings so sweet and with such passionate desire do I long for the warm sweet pressure of your lips upon my own. I want another letter from you, full of your own heart's love. Write to me, my own, very very often, and tell me all about yourself. The little one is well and talks a great dealHiram Oct. 1st 1862. [Willard Wash DC] My Precious Husband: My heart is gushing full of sweetness and of happiness to night. It is such a joy to receive again from you a letter so full of fond love and tenderness. My eyes are full of tears, great tears of gladness, and all my spirit goes away to nestle close beside your heart. O let your heart speak out to me so every day dearest. It has been a long week waiting and hoping every night that [???] other letter would come. I feared that you had not received my letters and that gave me pain lest you should think I had not written, but all is sweet peace again now [249] arrangement, but I think now I shall propose it. You will write to me very often, will you not, darling? You do know what a priceless treasure such a letter as the one of this evening is to me. I think of you so much and so joyfully that it almost seems sometimes that you are with me, and we are living over again some of those sweet days of your visit home but how lonely is the awaking to the consciousness that you are really so beyond my reach! May Our Heavenly Father keep you and bless you wherever you may go and continue this love in our hearts and increase it to all perfection. With kisses and all my heart of love your own Crete.that your dear letter had come. After reading it I [a] laid down beside little Trot on our bed and kissing her said "papa sends ever so many kisses to you". She lay very still a moment and then looking up said "kisses kisses?" very slowly and was [???]. I said "yes papa sends kisses for you", kisses for me? papa send kisses for me?" It was very funny to watch her. It seemed as though she just began to catch the idea that I was to kiss her for you; still could scarcely understand it. She calls your pictures little papa and while I was reading your letter she looked over and pointing to the words said "I see little papa". Precious little one you love her with all your heart don't you! I am sorry to learn that you think of Florida or South Carolina as your destination. I shall feel sad to have you so far away again--Then I fear the climate there will be very bad for you. Since you wrote Gen. Nelson has been killed and the rumors have become very current that Gen. Buel is to lose the command in Kentucky, and Burnside [or] Heintzelman or Sumner to supercede him. In case these rumors are true will not it be as well and pleasant to come back to Kentucky? It would seem so much better to have you nearer. If you go to Florida letters will be such a long time getting to us that we shall feel that you are more lost to us than ever. I know an expedition there holds out to your love of adventure many more attractions and it may be better for you to go; still I hope it may be better and you may see it so to remain nearer home.-- I am glad to know your health and strength are improving; but don't be deceived into the belief that you are well before you are. I am very sure you have your Diarhoea medicine with you. I feel quite sure I put it in the box of et ceteras. Please look. Remember you were to take only ten drops of it for a dose. Harmon Austin called here just a moment last Monday. He says Dr. Briscoe is getting up again. I think it strange he does not forward any medicine for you. Mr. Austin took your address and said he would write to you very soon. He says tell you that he considers Mr. Atkins much more of a man than you at first supposed. This is of great moment to you; but I give it as from him. Mr. Brown has not yet returned, so of course no arrangement has been made about his house. I looked over the house and find it needs a good deal of repairing--more I fear than he will be willing to make. How would it do to take the house--at as low a rate as he will accept--just as it is and make the repairs myself. I believe I could suit ourselves better and perhaps get it done quite as cheap as he would allow, should he make them. I don't know as he would consent to such an I have just opened to the 138th Psalm. It is the voice of exultation and thanksgiving which our own hearts now know. Crete.Washington. Oct 3rd 1862. Dearest Crete. Your dear letter of the 29th was received yesterday. I cannot tell you how full of gratitude is my heart, that your soul goes out so strongly toward me. It is so new and so delicious a joy--to know that at last I have found the fountain in what I had supposed to be desert. Indeed it has sprung up joyously in the desert of my life. But Dearest, you must not be so desponding in reference to myself. I have felt it is time and still find great impatience at being kept here in suspense-- like Coleridge's Ancient Mariner-- "Day after day, day after day We struck, nor life nor motion As idle as a painted ship Upon a painted ocean." [186] as guard duty. I am sick and tired of such terrible weakness I am quite [???] except a little Diarrhea [???] day. I found the vial of Diarrhea Medicine in the box in my trunk. Kiss the dear little one for me. She is 27 months old to day. Ever Your own James. While it annoys me, very much to be kept, waiting so, and particularly to keep my staff waiting so impatiently at Louisville for orders from me. I am still assured that it is meant as no lack of confidence in me, but rather the contrary, for they are endeavoring to get me an independent command. Again I have not been, till very lately, able to take the field. It is two weeks this morning since I arrived here, and it has dragged very heavily by I assure you. But the personal discomfort of being kept here, and the positive loss of reputation I shall suffer if I do not do something soon--are all overborne by my painful and anxious interest in the welfare of the country Men do not usually grieve for national calamities as for smaller specific sorrows. But when I see, what is unfolding here every day, of the weak timid government--on the one hand, and the deep plottings of the Old Breckenridge wing of the Democratic Party, in connection with Gen. McClellan when I see the criminal vacillation that has marked the course of the Government in its desire to remove him from command and its cowardly drawing back at the very important moment when hesitation was surrender--I am filled with most anxious forebodings. Only think of it. McClellan, lay still on the field of Antietam one day and two nights & let the rebels cross the Potomac in perfect safety, when he could have destroyed them. He has been reinforced until he must now have near 140,000 men. He now refuses to cross the Potomac into Va. till the river is permanently swelled by rains so that the rebels can't get around behind him into Maryland--at which time of course the roads will be bad and the winter near.To complete the disgracefulness of this sad picture he has sent to Washington for an immense supply of entrenching tools and for all the Topographical Engineers that can be spared from the various Departments of the government. You have probably seen the account of the dismissal of Maj Key--from the Army by the President. He was a brother of Key an Ohio Senator & on Hatticks staff. His crime was that on being asked why McClellan did not follow the rebels after Antietam--he answered: It is not the plan to whip the rebels. They are to be kept from inroading the north, and the two armies are to be kept in the field till both sections of the country are exhausted--and the the armies and the Democracy will compromise the matter"--From all I can see. I am almost convinced that McC. is not misrepresented in that statement. The President has gone out to see Gen McC. and there great commotion in the official circles here No progress can be made in any other enterprise till that is settled. Four days ago Buell was suspended from Command, the papers all made out--but Crittenden and a few more half & half patriots from Ky. protested & the Government backed down at once & restored him. I shall spend the day with Gen McDowell, who will show me the history of the Va. campaign. I believe he has been greatly wronged. The Pres. & cabinet know[s] he is a true man but dare not come out before the people and vindicate him. Do write to me. I may be here weeks, but rather than stay much longer I will take command of a Brigade, Regiment--or company, [and?][*Willards Wash DC.*] Hiram 4th Oct. 1862 My Dear Jamie: I saw Mr. Brown last evening. He still thinks his house ought to rent for $100.00. He says he has had an opportunity to rent the two front rooms and bedrooms adjoining for $50.00 a year, and he thinks the whole place ought to bring him $100.00. He says he will make all the repairs we want, and when done he will let it go for a little less if he can. Miss Booth & I looked over the house, and considering the size of the lot and the amount of fruit there is on it, and the probability that he could rent it to students for even a considerable more [*250*]we think he ought perhaps to have $100.00. Still I did not think best to take it without hearing from you again. I presume you will think best to take it, for I presume we cannot do better here, and perhaps not in any other place we would want to live. Please write as soon as this is received as Mr. Brown wants to know certainly about it as soon as possible. - I will not finish this out for a letter but write again soon. Peaches are just in a nice condition for canning today and I must make a busy day of it. I think about you and love you more and more every day. Hope I shall get another letter tonight. Yours forever with kisses and love. Trot and Crete.Washington Oct 7th 1862 My Precious Crete. Your dear letter of the 2nd reached me yesterday - and made me very glad - Since my last letter, I have had an excursion to Bull Run which I have already noticed in a long letter to Harry. You have doubtless seen that, and I will not repeat - Yesterday I spent the early part of the day with Gen McDowell - who is here, preparing his official and private papers for the Court of Inquiry which he has asked from the government. He has been in a position to know as fully and comprehensively the operations of the army in the East, and the conduct of the War Dept. and the leading Generals of the Potomac - as any man in the Country - and while he has invited me to look over his papers - so that an Ohio man may understand his case - & is gratified to me for doing so I am glad of such an opportunity [*189*] [*I have found the Diarrhea - and also occasions to use it. I hope Dr Briscoe will make out medicines for me soon I have written to him. I can hardly advise you about [Benin?] house but I hope you will not be obliged to pay much yourself for permanent repair - Any thing that makes the house permanently better we should pay at least a large part of - I hope you will be able to be settled soon - and pleasantly - Do write me very often - Your letters have all their new dearness - & love - J.*]tunity to learn from such a competent and reliable source, the inner movements of this sadly famous series of campaigns. I have never believed the absurd stories about McDowell's being disloyal--or anything of that sort--but I was not prepared to find a man of such perfect open, frank manly sincerity. I believe he is the victim of jealousy--[???] and most marvellous bad luck, luck that came exceedingly near being splendid success but failing of that, turned sadly the other way. I shall have two or three more sittings with him, and go over his Shenandoah Campaign, which will illustrate his relations to McClellan, and to the Administration. Last night Gen Cox & staff arrived--and I was with him till a late hour. He has been made a Major-General-- and is ordered to Western Virginia. He starts today. I shall see him again after breakfast and spend all the time I can with him till he leaves. I rejoice at his good fortune, which has justly come to him after so long a time. He did finely at the Battles of South Mountain and Antietam. He is looking very well indeed. I did what I could for his promotion. It is a step toward the vindication of merit vs. West Point. He is sorry to be sent away from the grand Army, but I think it will be better for him in the long run. He is so well acquainted with that country he will know how and where to strike. The Cumberland Gap boys are to be sent up the Kanawha with him. He has also got permission to take his old Kanawha Division back to Western Virginia with him. I was very glad to see him. We had not [me?] for a year and a half. You must write to Mrs Cox and give her the substance of what I say. Present her my congratulations on Dolson's promotion-- and tell her that none of his friends are morerejoiced than I. His Staff, Bascom, Treat, Fitch and Holmes are with him. I do not yet hear anything in reference to myself. You can understand without my saying--how keenly I feel this delay--and how it makes me feel that I am not doing the service any good. But I have resolved that I will bear patiently and uncomplainingly whatever future awaits me. I want to correct an impression of yours--viz: that my being called here had anything whatever to do with Dr Robison's visit. Mr Chase says, that a large command was open to me here in Va. but my sickness delaying me, when I came the opportunity had passed. Hence the apparent [carelessness?] of calling me. This being so, I do not think that any but the kindest and best feelings called me here and, I will not [???] at unforeseen accidents such as my sickness. Though you can hardly imagine how irksome is this delay to me. At almost any other time such an opportunity to see would be welcome But do not be sad. All will yet come out right. Thayer is still at work at his Florida plan & considers me a part of it. With Kisses and love to Trot--(and I hope the little darling can understand them) and your self. I am lovingly your own James.Washington. Oct 8, 1862 Dearest Crete - Your note of Oct 4th stating Mr. Brown's propoposition - and asking my opinon is just received - I have only time to write a word in answer, as I am about going by appointment to met Mr Giddings who is now in the city and has sent for me - Accept his proposition without hesitation - If he will let you have the house after it is repaired accordng to your wishes, for $100, it will probably be as well as you can expect to do - Let it be understood in the bargain if you can do so, that you are to have the house the next year also at the same rate - if he [can] rents it - I think he ought [*188*][settled] to put it in a good state of repair-- for $100. I have no news to write, in regard to my own future. The Florida scheme is maturing but the troops are not at hand for the expedition. Gen Halleck has got to be consulted. My heart burns with indignation, when I see these beautiful autumn days pass & McClellans army idle. In a few weeks more the rains will be upon us & the campaign will be ended. The rebels are unmolested by moving back toward Richmond. Shame! if not treason. Write me soon. Don't call this a letter. Love & kisses to you & Trot from your loving, James.[*Willards Wash DC*] Hiram 8th Oct. 1862 My Own Jamie: I did not until last night receive another letter from you making it almost a week since having heard before. I felt sad and almost grieved after having written so regularly twice a week since you left, but my life has ever been teaching me that the Reality can never keep an even step with Hope and still the lesson must be repeated. I have a bright little spot though where the past summer and autumn blend to which I turn back with all joy, and when you make me sad now I look to that. It is just four weeks to night since we strolled down the hill side to the old stone where we sat with our thoughts busy in [*251*] [*of Comp. A. came through safe and well, so we feel relieved of all anxiety about Joe. Little Precious is well happy, and as negative as ever. All send love. I hope you have a place assigned to you before this, and that you are able to do duty again. Do not go into the field unless you are. Your own Crete*]the far away past, but our hearts beating strong love in the sweet moment given us then. The night is just as beautiful as then. The moon smiles down from a sky just as quiet, and from among the same quiet stars, and my heart goes away to you in the same strong love. Dearest I shall nourish and cherish that love, that it may grow to all perfection, and perchance the little clouds are needed to shed upon it some tears. I was very much interested in your last letter though not so much rejoiced. The prospects are very dark; still I can hardly feel that the President is so faltering as he appears to you. Has not Sec. Chase perhaps a little desire to find fault.--By the way I should enjoy very much a little gossip. From you letters to others I learn that you and Miss Kate are taking dinners out--visiting camps &c, and I have a good deal of woman's curiosity to hear about some of those things; and is Miss Kate a very charming interesting young lady? I may be jealous if she is, since you have such a fashion of becoming enamoured with brilliant young ladies. I have a little bit of a lecture to give you when I get around to the right place and perhaps I might as well introduce it by telling of the impression that has gone abroad concerning your intimacy with Dr. Robison. Cousin Mary Curtiss is here now. She has just been visiting in Akron Talmage and Twinsburgh, and says the impression is very strong among the people of those places that you and the Doctor are one and inseparable. It mademe feel really indignant, especially that such an impression was due almost entirely to the course of the Doctor in regard to you this summer. Mary says the impression is every where she has been in Summit Co. that you were helping the Doctor to get the nomination in that District, and she says the extravagant stories that Harry Jones told concerning you and your expedition up the Big Sandy did you far more harm than good. She laughs and says tell you for her that she had not learned before what an extraordinary prodigy you were. Now my lecture is only to express a desire that you wrap yourself in a little more reserve in the new circles to which you are now being introduced. Be a little more select in your choice of companions, and admit no one to intimacy who is not at least your equal. Now Jamie I do not think that selfish. You have done your reputation great injustice by allowing such a man as Dr. Robison to the familiarity which gives his great gross selfish nature the [least?] reason to feel that you regard him as an intimate friend. I do very much desire that you get no more such undesirable individuals tacking on to your skirts. You will not love me any the less for saying all this will you? We have not heard from Joe yet but some others here have received letters from the 22nd. They write that allWashington. Oct 12th 1862. My Dearest Crete. Yours of the 9th came this morning. I hope you will not be sad when my letters are delayed - I have written as often as twice a week I think, though perhaps the week of my visit to Sigel and Bull Run, I wrote but one. I assure you I am very joyful in the receipt of your letters, and I hope you will be constant in writing to me as frequently as you have - In this new life we have fallen upon, let us take large measures of hope and joy into our hearts and still cultivate that charity and patience which in the past has been our salvation. In my sad impatience and waiting here I need the presence of your love, and your letters are longed for more than they have ever been before I have spent my time lately in getting deeper views of men and movements, and taking observations on current events - I hope you will not be shocked, at receiving such a bundle of manuscript as this letter envelope contains, but I thought you and our circle there would be glad to see some of the late movements of the army, from an interior view - You will be careful that the manuscript does not get into the hands of any one who will make it public for the interviews [*189*]were private and unofficial. Your views of my friendships are just, and I thank you for your consideration and kind admonition I am glad to feel that your love for me does not make you blind to my dangers nor my faults. Always tell me, anything you see in me that you would have otherwise. I regret that I have become so unwillingly yoked to Dr Robison, but I do not feel that I am altogether responsible for it--nor can I help Jones' saying what he pleases about Middle Creek. He was in the battle--and there is not an obliviousness of that fact in his own mind when he recounts and praises the work. The prospect for immediate work are as better now than when I first came here, only the delay is more accumulated--and hence a greater pressure is brought to bear upon the government to do something than was then. You can hardly imagine how irksome and hateful this delay is to me. Under almost any other circumstances, my stay here would be very pleasant. I see a large number of leading men almost every day. Last Thursday, Mr Chase had three lady relations here from N.Y. and Kate being too busy, I was requested to take them out to see thesights. We took the carriage, and went across the Potomac to Arlington Heights, thence to Alexandria - thence to Fairfax Seminary - back to Alexandria - drove the carriage on board a steamer - and came back to Washington by water. Gen Lee's house at Arlington Heights was built by Geo. Washington Custis whose daughter Lee married. It is a quaint old building, built in the castle style and the walls of the main hall are ornamented with the skull and antlers of stags and paintings of the chase - also several battle pictures of the Revolution. It is now the Head Quarters of Gen Heintzelman. In Alexandria we saw the "Marshall House" where Ellsworth was shot and visited the Fort which was named after him. There is an army of wounded and sick men in Washington and vicinity. Of wounded alone there are over 16,000 in the Hospitals here. What a multitude of maimed old men will the next generation see! The Fairfax Seminary which was once alive with female beauty is now the center of sad scenes - There are 1800 sick men there in the building and in the sheds around it - The graveyard in [???] is growing very full Four were buried while we were there - I would attend church today, but it is cold and dreary - and I do not feel very well - Mr Chase is confined to the house with a sore foot - notthe gout) and I have been keeping him company part of the day. Kate is unwell & was not down to breakfast - I have not seen her today. She has promised me a card de visit for you. She is a woman of good sense and pretty good culture - has a good form but not a pretty face - its beauty being marred by a nose slightly inclining to [???] - She has probably more social influence - and makes a better impression generally than any other cabinet lady - This is the transition period between the old slaveholding aristocratic social dynasty - and the new Republican one - Indeed it is rather the absence of any - the interregnum between the one that was and the one which is to be - The old social dynasty has been one of the most powerful political elements in Washington and is the secret of a great many successes for the South - From the days of Gen Jackson, Mrs Eaton it has been a great power - If I live to enter congress - I may conclude to get a house here - and bring you and Trot here with me - I am thinking the matter over - But that is too uncertain & remote to be discussed now. Meantime, I hope you will soon get into the the new home, & that I may some day be able to call it "ours", by helping you enjoy it. Love to the family - & love & Kisses to yourself and Trot. Ever Your James[*Willard Wash DC*] Hiram 12th Oct. 1862 My Own Jamie: Your last precious letter was received Friday night, and the night previous your long letter to Harry came. We enjoyed exceedingly your descriptions both of places and individuals, although we could gather little hope for our [course?] [???] of it all. I was indeed very much surprised at your description of McDowell. Surely if you rightly estimate him he has been one of the most grossly misrepresented and cruelly treated men alive. From every account of him I have ever seen he could scarcely be thought other than a traitor, or if not one of the weakest and most ineffi- [*252*] You speak of a return of Diarrhea. You are not well yet and I very much fear that you will run down again as soon as you commence work. I beg of you take care of yourself. You said nothing concerning the photograph you sent. It is pretty good still it looks so [???], and unless you have already had a number of copies struck off I should like to have you have another taken. Have them take the same size if you have a new one, as I may go to Cleveland before I get a copy. I want as many as two dozen of yours unless you object to such a large distribution of yourself. With all my heart as ever Your Crete.cient of men. Fortune has been indeed more capricious in her treatment of him than is her wont. It is now [???] that Gen. Morgan is to be called to an account for his retreat from Cumberland Gap. Do you hear it talked of at the Capitol? And if so what on Earth is it for? If McClellan and Buell with their large armies can be idle while Morgan and Pope are obliged the one to retreat and the other to be shamefully defeated for lack of reinforcements, and they then to be taken from their commands while their superiors remain untouched--well may the people begin to ask what it all means. I have not heard one individual for the last month express aught but dissatisfaction [at the] concerning the arrangement of our army, and almost hopelessness for our cause. We received a letter from Joe a few nights ago. He had received no letter from home since John's death--had only heard of it through others. He stood their long fatiguing march very well until near the close when he was attacked with Dysentery; but had nearly recovered when he wrote. I wish you would write to him. If he has done so well as to deserve promotion, he deserves the encouragement which a letter from you would give him even if you can do nothing more for him. Joe loves you and respects you very much and I know he would prize a letter from you more than from any other person. And for my sake--as well as his own-- I wish you would write to him. He is all the brother I have now. Little darling is asleep now but almost the last thing she said before being undressed was to ask if I "write letters to papa". I told her yes. Then she said "He send kiss for me?" I said yes, and will you send a kiss back to papa? I told her to come and kiss me and I would send it to you, so she gave me a kiss right on my lips, and I told her to say "tell papa Trot sends a kiss to papa". She said it after me, and felt very nice about it. She has a great time teasing to go to "cheach" (church) every Sunday. This morning when I told her she could not go to day, she began to tease me to stay with her. She said "pease mama stay home with me". Pease don't go". I asked her why I shouldn't go. "Cause don't" was her reply. Sterling McBride spoke this morning and did very well, but he appeals the ministerial style too much to suit me. Harry spoke this afternoon, and very well indeed. Mrs. Curtiss said it was the best sermon she had heard for a long time. I am waiting very anxiously for your reply to my inquiries concerning the house we are to have. I hoped to have heard last night. How much I shall want you with us when we get settled in our own home. If you are going to Florida, how I wish I could go with you but I suppose you will not think it best, and I don't know even as I should think it best myself, but I never felt so strong a desire to be with you. I believe we could be so happy together - now that it seems doubly hard that we must be so widely seperated. But we will be hopeful for a fortune yet. We will trust that our All Loving Father will keep us for days of peace and love and joy in each other. Write me often and long and keep nothing back that is in your heart.Washington Oct.14.1862. My Dearest Crete. I was really disappointed not to get a letter from you tonight. This is the first day for more than two weeks that I have not received a single letter from any body - Still the impatient delay continues though there in a little streak of light on the horizon today. Sec Stanton gave my staff a short leave of absence and ordered them at the end of that time to report to me - I go to New York City by the morning train tomorrow - with Eli Shayer He is to hold conference with some leading men in the city in reference to the Florida [*190*]and he wants me there The Rail Roads in Florida are principally owned by New York men, and it is desirable to secure their cooperation and assistance in the work before us. We shall while there add a few pages to the manuscript now prepared and publish a pamphlet setting forth the proposed colonization scheme-- Mr Stanton approves of our going there, but says I must be back in seven days. This gives me hope that by that time he will be ready to do something. I do most earnestly hope so, for I begin to feel almost as though the uniform of a General was disgraced by being worn so long in idleness. I am seen in the street as little as possible-- If I can get the time I shall go and see Rebecca--and spend Sunday there. I don't know whether I can or not. I have arranged to have all letters that come here [to me] in my absence forwarded--to me at the "Metropolitan Hotel, NY. City--which I shall make my Head Quarters while I am there. If you get this so as to write me by next Friday's mail direct to N.Y. an d I shall get it before I return. I am really lonely tonight without your letter which I expected. I should have gone this afternoon but I got the time put over till morningsoley for the sake of the letters I hope to get tonight. Mr Chase has been very sick for the last two days - He has been confined to his bed I have staid with him on considerable part of the time and have been glad to feel that in some little way I love being of use - Hope you may never feel so useless - and miserable about doing nothing as I have for the last two weeks - I do but little else than write and read letters and look over the newspapers - Time I am reading some poetry - but all is so foreign from the great work of the hom that it make me sick - With a whole heart full of love for you and Trot - I am you any JamesLewisboro Oct 19. 1865 My Dearest Crete Your dear letter of the 12th was forwarded from Washington, and reached me, yesterday. I should have written you before I left the city but your letter did not come in time. I reached New York on Wednesday at midnight and last evening came here. Rebecca has been quite sick, confined to her bed and under the Doctor's care. She had a very serious attack of what the Doctor calls neuralgia in the chest. She is better now, is able to be around - though she has not ridden out yet - I fear the attack will leave her lungs [*191*] Love & kisses to our dear little Trot, and thank her for ever 2 week kisses she sent me, I should be very glad. My Dear Crete to have you go with me to Florida &c. I should enjoy it very dearly I assure you and I have thought a good deal about it. I will see when I get there how the future looks, and if it is at all feasible I will have you go - You know in general I am opposed to having women go into the army - but I should be very glad to have you there with me. Ever & forever your loving Jamesin a bad condition. She has now as the result of it a pretty serious cough. The place here is very pleasant looking only more old and quaint than it did six years ago when I was here. The air is chill and cold today and the leaves are already falling. I was surprised to see how completely the autumnal tints are set on all the foliage here. I have seen hardly an indication of Autumn around Washington. In New York I heard Forest play two nights. Len had told me so much about him that I was particularly anxious to hear him. I find he is regarded as by far the greatest tragedian in the country, though Edwin Booth Rebecca sends love to you and Trot. who is now also playing in the city; has many admirers who claim for him the [???]. They were both playing Richelieu for several nights, one at Niblo's, the other at Winter Garden I heard Forest first in Virginius & second in Spartacus the Gladiator. They are both tragedies founded on ancient Roman History and are full of classic as well as dramatic interest. I admired Forest very much but I think his body and mind are much better adapted to the expression of strong stormy passions than of the milder and gentler ones. In Spartacus he was really sublime in some passages of his [???] grand power. Wish you could have heard him I will write Joe, most cheerfully--That I may not forget it, please ask me next time you write whether I have done it. Our work in New York is not completed, indeed I don't know as it will amount to anything at all--That depends chiefly upon the War Dept--but I think we should achieve something. I go back tomorrow evening--and leave for Washington on Wednesday--I shall hope to find a letter from you at this Metropolitan when I get back--I presume you have before this got my note in reference to the Brown trade. I hope you have already closed the bargain--I have had a better photographic card taken than the one I sent you--and I will send you a package of them as soon as I can get them--I am feeling exceedingly blue over the late elections in Ohio and Indiana. At that rate we shall be soon overpowered by treason at home. Do you know what my majority was? I have not seen any account of it. I hope you have recd the pile of manuscripts I sent you a few days ago. Give I have have another attack of Diarrhea--probably frm change of diet.[*Willards*] [*Wash D.C.*] Hiram 19th Oct 1862 My Own Jamie: A whole week has passed since I wrote to you but I know you will forgive when you head how busy I have been. The work of getting ready to keep house is altogether more of an affair than I had supposed, and in order to be ready as soon as the house is ready I am working every moment that I am not sleeping or eating. I wanted to write you a letter during the week but there was no time till bed time then I was too weary to write any thing but a weary letter, and I have now three of your unanswered letters all of them dearer and more precious than words can tell. To begin with [*253*]the first. I have seen Mr. Brown and he promises to have the house all ready by the second week of vacation so that I hope to be fairly established before the 11th Nov. How I wish you could spend the anniversary day with me. It will be the first we have spent apart; and yet the one more than all others when our hearts will be nearest. Jamie darling, you will remember me that day with a letter from your heart. Will you? In the rest place you made me very glad and thankful by the letter and long article giving us an insight to many things before mysterious. I had become thoroughly impatient and disheartened trying to know any thing about the motives influencing our Administration or our Generals and I was almost ready to adopt the opinion becoming very general that they were all either a set of cowardly fools, or wicked plotting knaves. It is very hard from the outside views we get to discern who are acting with wisdom and loyalty or otherwise; and it was very satisfactory to follow you in your penetration to the center, and know your judgement and opinion of men and measures. From all you have written I can gather a little faith just to look ahead with some hope for the dawn of a brighter day. Indeed I begin to feel that there is a faint streak of daylight in the promotion of Gen. Cox and his being allowed two such Generals with him as Morgan and Milroy. But is it not a great shame, and very discouraging too that the Ohio Elections have turned the way they have? Of the nineteen congressmen the latest reports we have give only four for the Union ticket. The Democrats have held a great jubilation last night--firing a small--big gun--drumming cheering &c. They did not get the majority in this town but a large increase on the last years vote. I am very glad that you have now a prospect of a command soon. It must have been very embarrassing and at most mortifying to remain so long in uncertainty. I do not understand however from what you have written that you expect to go to Florida, at present. I almost hope not; still I scarcely dare hope or wish anything about it so little can we know of the future of any thing. If you go to Florida I don't know as I understand5 the capacity in which you go. I suppose however to take command of a portion of the troops to be engaged in the expedition; but I do not even know whether troops are to be sent merely for protection to the colony or for fighting as a business. I am afraid I am more ignorant concerning the whole affair than I need be. Please enlighten me. I suppose you are with Rebecca to day. I have not heard either from her or Marie since you left. Jamie I have been passing through a great struggle since I received your letter last night, and whether I should write anything to you of it has been a serious question. Before you came home last summer I had settled down on this conviction that the threads of our lives had become so entangled [*254*] more than ever before. Your own loving Crete.with others that it was only useless to try and surround them, and the best we could do was to gather them up as they came and finish out the web of life as best we could. But during your visit you know how, unintentionally and almost unconsciously we turned back together and looked through that tangled past, and with what surprise and great joy we found the links we called broken only hidden. Then from mutual explanations and confessions we found more that was unfortunate than wrong in what had once seemed all wrong, and I saw as I never had before that a large part of our great sorrow was due to the mask my own heart had worn; and in the new light and life and love which sprang up around and before us I then resolved that--cost what it might--no concealment of anything in my heart should ever again be allowed. You should know all the love and tenderness it feels, and if the darkness of doubt or distrust fell upon it you should know that too. Now, darling--don't begin to tremble lest something terrible is to come.--- When-- I read your purpose to visit Rebecca the old pain came back to my heart, and I seemed to be going all back into that cold darkness, and in all that you had said to me I began to fear there was only inconsistency which showed nothing but a desire to deceive me. Now Jamie I have conferred all. Most solemnly and earnestly did I pray to Our All Living Father for a just and generous heart and He who hears the young ravens when they cry heard and answered my prayer. And there is in my heartto day only love and trust, and I have asked myself why I should tell you of it at all, and it is not so much that you should know it as to school my own heart to a perfect freedom with you. - I did not attend church this morning and judge of my surprise on entering the church this afternoon to see Brother Myron Streetor in the stand. I have never seen him since that dark summer at Poestenkill. I wanted to speak with him but there were so many gentlemen crowded around him that I did not venture to. Perhaps I may see him yet. Mr. Brainard is here and tells me that he saw you several times in Washington and that you were looking very well. I hope you are indeed as well as you look. I want to know all about your health, and happiness in every way. Your last photograph looks much better than the first - quite like yourself, but too old. Trot says tell papa "I send kiss to him", then she said to me "put it right on he's head". I hope you will keep writing to me as you have. Your letters are priceless treasures to me. I will try and write again during the week, but if I do not you must not think that I do not want to. I think of you every hour, and desire to see youWashington Oct 2[1?]th, 1862. My Dearest Crete. I left New York night before last - but the train missed connection to Philadelphia - and I was left there till yesterday noon - and so I did not reach here till last night. I had a conference with Thayer just before leaving N.Y. and found that the Florida plan is winning friends and supporters every day - the only thing now needed is the action of the government - and we seem as far from that as ever. I have not learned what the War Dept - had been done in my absence but from all I can gather they have done nothing - It is exceedingly discouraging - I see how weak and dilatory they are - I am growing into a feeling of personal shame at being kept here in idleness - I was really ashamed to be seen on the streets with the U.S. uniform on - In New York - here- everywhere- there is a settled glow on nearly every face - A great notion groaning in an agony of suspense and anxiety to have something done. A people that have poured out with a work lavish hand their life and treasure to save their government - a people that have trusted their Executive head with a constancy and faith, which in these degenerate days is really sublime - are now [*102*][*[25]*] Washington Oct 21th, 1862. My Dearest Crete. I left New York night before last - but the train missed connection at Philadelphia - and I was left there till yesterday noon - and so I did not reach here till last night - I had a conference with Thayer just before leaving N.Y. and found that the Florida plan is winning friends and supporters every day - the only thing now needed is the action of the government and we seem as far from that as ever. I have not learned what the War Dept - had been done in my absence but from all I can gather they have done nothing - It is exceedingly discouraging - to see how weak and dilatory they are - I am growing into a feeling of personal shame at being kept here in idleness - I was really ashamed to be seen on the streets with the U.S. uniform on - In New York - here - everywhere- there is a settled glow on nearly every face - A great notion growing in an agony of suspense and anxiety to have something done. A people that have poured out with a work lavish hand their life and treasure to save their government - a people that have trusted their Executive head with a constancy and faith which in these degenerate days is really sublime - are now [*192*]beginning to feel that their confidence has been betrayed. Their treasure squandered and the lives of their children sacrificed in unavailing slaughter. The failure at the late elections is the natural and inevitable [course] result of the management of the war - But I will not distress you with any further views of the dark and gloomy picture of our times - I am glad to hear that you are perfecting your arrangements for a home of our own. I only wish I were well through this war and could enjoy it with you I am glad to have your write me frankly and fully as you do in the last letter of the 20th and before me I was however sorry to know that you had been sad & had passed through a struggle on account of my visit to Rebecca. I hope you will not harbor the thought that I have practised any deception toward you in my late conversation - I hope you will see me as I am conscious of being indeed a true man - and that I am true to my whole history. I had a very pleasant - and yet sad visit with Rebecca. pleasant - because I was glad to revisit the scenes of six years ago - & was enabled to do so without having my horizon clouded - or having the thorns again pierce me - pleasant because I am more than ever assured that he that is true to his own nature is happier and better in being so - and I can say in truth that I love you none the less - for having seen Rebecca again and she is no less dear to me - from the fact that the sunshine has sweetly dawned upon your life and mine - pleasant-- because I took pleasure in telling her that I had passed a very happy month with you, and that henceforth my life with you was full of promise of sweet peace & sunlight - It was sad in this - that I found her just arisen from a bed of pain & suffering - that I pined the insidious approach of consumption - that I found her surrounded by those who do not contribute much to make her life agreeable - nor do they seem to be worthy to be companions of so noble a woman. She has been sorely disappointed in Maria's not going to visit her before her return to the West. Eben Ayers has got home from the army - sickwith a fever - and worst of all has a fever sore on his Knee, which threaten to make him a cripple for life. [Marsa?] has been attending on him in Troy and is still there - I received last night a letter fm Dr. Briscoe - & I have this mornng written him . sending him $30~ the amount of his bill - He will sent you some medicine for me. & I will try to have some member of my staff visit you before they join me, & get it and my cotton socks & whatever else you may send — Parson this hurried scratch for I have a great deal to do today Kiss our darling for me - I regret that I cannot be with you on the 11th [Nov.?] but I am preparing somethng for you which will answer nearly as well . Loving you & hoping to hear from you very often I am forever your own James[*Willards Wash D. C.*] Hiram 26th Oct. 1862 My Own Dearest One: Your letter from Lewisboro I did not receive until last night tho' delayed so long it was loved just as much, and I searched through every line for each word or expression of the new tenderness and love, and to each and every one my own heart gave such full and ready response. Dear Jamie I cannot tell how great is my joy in this living love which has sprung up in my heart. The little germs so carefully hidden away in my heart - which I knew was there, and wondered sometimes that you could not see it - is so full of perfection and beauty now [*255*]that it has burst into life--into living breathing life that I can scarcely understand my life heretofore, and I no longer wonder that you thought it so cold and dead. It seems to me something new has been infused into my whole nature--a warm glowing passion-- which is transforming all my thoughts and feelings, and giving me such new desires. I loved you way down in my heart before. I love you now with my whole being. Before when you were away my heart missed you now my whole self mourns with it, and longs and pines for you presence-- my lips for your kisses--, my cheek for the warm pressure of yours. In short I understand what you meant when you used to say "I want to be touched"! and were it not that I have yet enough pride left to want to keep my reputation for being so sensible about your absence I am not sure but I should be as silly as the silliest that you must be so much away from me. With all sincerity I can now say I thank Thee Our Father for the suffering and great sorrow through which I have been led, since it has brought me to such a life of rich enjoyment; and I hope dear Jamie that enough of new joy has been given to your heart so that you may feel that it has not been all in vain that you have suffered--I have concluded the bargain with Mr. Brown fo rhis horse, and shall soon be in our first home. I go to Cleveland next Thursday with Miss Booth to make purchases. I have not succeeded in finding a girl yet such asI want, and we have decided that Nellie shall live with me this winter and we will do our own work I think it will not keep me very busy so that I cannot entertain company and do a good many other things I want to. Miss Wilson is going to board with us but there will be only six of us when Mother comes. I could have started with quite a family. Harry and Miss Martain both wanted to come and get their meals with me and if I could have found a good girl I would have taken them. but I thought that with a poor girl I should be obliged to do more than I will now. I shall keep a look out though for a good girl so that we can have one when we need. [ Will you be very sorry for what I am now to write? We shall have no special need for more help at present.] Do you understand? -- I hope you know something of your winter's work before this. The paper last night states that Buel has been again removed; but perhaps only to be reinstated tomorrow. It is rumored too that Gen. Hooker is to supersede McClellan. We hope so. - This week the Fall term closes up. Harry has been acting very strangely - almost bad - If Harry or Almeda have not told you of it I will next time. Bro. Streater called to see me last Sunday evening and called + poor Dr Briscoe? I fear very much for you yet; especially if you go South.with his wife again Monday morning. He made a great many inquiries after you and said he thought he would write to you soon. He expected to find you here having heard you were at home. I told you in my last that I had not seen him since in Poestenkill, but he reminded me that he called here on his return from the East and I now recalled - it. He is looking very old and feeble - as though he might be at least sixty years old, and he says he is only forty four. I had a long letter from Joe a few days since. I had written him how glad I was that he had deserved the praise Will Clapp gave him. He said he did not what Will wrote or that he had written at all but that he had shown him a great many favors and had tried to get him a better position in their [*256*]company, but they were determined all promotions should be in regular order so that his chance was none at all since he was so late in joining the Company. He said he had no claim on you for favors still he should be very much pleased should you want him to go to Florida with you. Have you written to him yet? - We awoke this morning with two inches of snow. It looks very strange indeed! for the grass and many of the trees are yet green and scarcely any leaves have fallen yet The bright autumn [???s] of the forest and the fruit in the orchards peeking out from their heavy covering of snow gave to us - who love snow so little a very unpleasant impression. I called Trot up to see the snow, she looked very wonderingly at it but finally decided it was "pretty". - Mother sends love to you, and Nell is talking of writing to you. All love you and hope to hear from you. That you may be kept safe from every harm, and, guided and blessed in all you do is the prayer each night of your little wife. Crete All I have seen yet concerning the election in this District you have in these scraps I send. Have you received any medicine yet?Willard Wash D.C. Hiram 28th Oct 1862. My Own Jamie: Your letter of three days ago is just received and I will make a little leisure for a word or two. It is a great pleasure to have you so near; but Jamie I do feel real indignant that you are so long delayed, and I wish you would resign and come home. If the country doesn't need you or doesn't want you for fear you may have the audacity to do something, we need you, and are not- at-all afraid here to let you have full swing. I will give you a job at wood sawing, and board you for nothing, or at least for a little of your aid in getting settled and provid-[ed] for the winter. I was thinking to day how much easier it would be if I could [call] make an occasional draft on your executive talent. I am not sure that my providence may not prove inadequate to the demands made upon it. But in good faith Jamie why do you stay longer? I very much fear that your reputation for earnestness and zeal in serving your country now in her trial is differing not a little. I do not wish to aggravate the mortification I know you already feel at your long detention, nor do I doubt your ability to judge of the motives of those with whom you deal, but I feel [that in] some way you are becoming a victim to their dastardly slowness, and I wish you were away. Do you know that Harry has resigned his position in the school? I think he has been dissatisfied ever since the last meeting of the Trustees and all though the Fall he has been sulkily opposed to every thing Miss Booth has desired for the school, and finally in a very [unmanly?] and ungenerous way [I think the trustees who know of it will indorse those expressions] declared his determination to resign. I have ever felt friendly to Harry, and desired in every way to sustain him, but I do feel that he is unreasonable and wrong in the course he is taking. I do not see what is to be done. No one who knows Harry feels to rely on him to stand at the head. Father says he would like to know what you would propose in case Harry does leave, but I presume your inclinations are not to think very much about the school now.I am truly sorry to learn of Rebecca's ill health, but I trust your fears in regard to it are unfounded. It would be a great pleasure to me to visit her. I have loved her as I never did any other woman, and I trust we understand each other in a measure, though we never say entirely until beyond the veil. Perhaps I can never be as just and generous to her as I ought before. I don't know but the remembrance of my life's great trial must follow me even down to the garden of death. May the dark river wash it away. Do not judge me too severely, my dear Jamie though I love you too selfishly. You could not, I know you wouldn't if you could have had much I try to be generous. Help me by kind forbears as [our?] love. My eyes are full of tears as write to night; but it is not often now that any thought of you brings aught but the sweetest happiness. I cannot contrive what you are preparing to send me but I must assure you nothing can take your place, though any thing from you makes me very glad. Loving you forever Crete & Trot[*91 1/2*] Washington Oct. 31st. 1862. My Very Dear Crete, Your precious letter of the 26th came to hand last evening, and is very dear to me - It is matter of great deep rejoicing to me that you are so happy in our new fou[nd] love - Your letter expresses what I so long needed and despaired of - but find at last just as it was nearly given of Let us thank God that he has opened a way through the darkness - and allowed us to walk at last in the clear calm light - I am glad to hear that you have perfect the bargain for the house, and at the very time I was reading your letter, and probably now you are in Cleveland making purchases for our home - I hope to hear soon that you are in possession. The arrangement to have Nellie with you will be very fine. But I hope you will soon find a good reliable girl so that you may be more independent. I have written to Joe. though not knowing where to direct I sent it to Western Va.Please let me know whether it reaches him or not - Yesterday I sent you several styles of Cartes de Visites they are marked 1. Appleton's. 2. Brady's Vignette 3. Bradys full length. 4. Ulkie's No 1. 5th Ulkes No 2. Please tell me which you like best and I will send you a package of them. This is the second time that young man Jake has disappointed my just expectations. In the first place he lacked the essential qualities of manhood - and in the second - most of all he proves to be a perfect nobody, as in the language of law a "filius nullius" or better a nullus filius id et - a nemo - When I meet him he shall have a full expression of my view - You can have this opinion read before the school if you like!! I am surprised to hear that Harry should be taking such a strange course. It betrays a weakness - and want of liberal mindedness that I was not quite prepared to see in him - I hope the teachers will now take him at his word and let him go - He has had instructions enough in that direction - Will they keep up the school during the coming winter? I am glad to hear from Bro Streator again. There are few men I would be so glad to meet as him. Tell me his address and I will write to him. He is one of the truest and best friends I ever had. He has a larger heart - and is much more of a man than he has the credit for being - If his health could sustain him. he would make a decisive mark as a preacher. I regard him as far above the average of Disciple preachers, [though?] his manners are rather against him. Thank you for the election returns. It is [more?] than I had seen. I believe my dear friend in Hiram managed to run me believing the ticket in that place a little. I hope they enjoy the sport. I wish you would send me the Portage Democrat occasionally I have not seen a copy since I left the State. Mr Hutchins is here & I visit him & he me quite often - He is very friendly - I am unexpectedly placed on a court of Inquiry to investigate the accusations of against Gen McDowell - You remember that I had aa long interview with M.D. and the manuscript I sent you was drawn chiefly from my recollection of his official documents - Now being place on the court to try the very case it is exceedingly important that nobody shall make any use of that document I sent home - lest I be again charged with breaking the faith of a court - I had at that time not the remotest idea that I should ever have any official connection with the case - What have you done with the manuscript: What did Harry and Almeda say of it? I want it preserved - but locked out of sight for the present - Give my love to Mother and father and Nell - Ask her to write to me. Please present the enclosed card to Hannah [Thorton?] with my love - I wish she would write to me - She neen't wait for me to write - Let her consider this card a letter - Kiss our darling & that thank her for me that she ain't nobody - but a small little somebody - & that I am ever hers and your JamesHiram 2nd Nov1862. My Own Precious After two days of the hardest work I ever did I am very glad to be at home again, with nothing to do but write to you - the most pleasant task the days bring round. I was so sick and every the last two or three hours I was finishing up my business in Cleveland that I could scarcely keep on my feet, and when on the cars I grew so faint and sick every few moments that I thought I could never reach home, and today I have been lying on the bed a large part of the time trying to read a little but most of the time lolling [*258*] Since I finally gave it up. I think little Trot is growing more gentle. She says a great many loving and pretty things to her mama, and about her papa. When you come home again I hope you will bring her some pretty present. She is getting old enough now to appreciate it. With my heart full of love and tenderness for you I am your own Crete The preparation for a teacher's Institution have this week remind me so much of yours years ago. Are we not happier now than then? "Let us love one another. [*Willard Wash D. C.*]my eyes and my thoughts wander away among the bright trees golden with the sunshine gathered from the summer time; or losing myself in the dreaminess of the hazy distance. I am feeling very much better this evening and by tomorrow shall be entirely well I think. I hope my purchases are all such as you will approve, although I have somewhat surpassed your expectations in the expense. For furnishing the house and table I have expended nearly $250.00, and I have nearly everything but a kitchen stove. But Miss Booth and I both thought best to purchase a good many groceries especially of those increasing in price, and I presume that by the time I have laid in the [?] store of every thing and completed purchases for Trot and myself, these I am making as light as possible, I shall be unable to let Harry have more than $100.00. I am sorry, still Miss Booth said she did not think I had expended more than you would had you been here. I have tried to avoid extravagancies, and still to fit up in a style as good as the place and our present circumstances would admit, I did not get a letter from you last night but hope you are well and happy. You do not tell me much of your health now, and I have some fears that you are not very well. If you still have attacks of Diarrhea [you] every time you change diet, you surely are not well enough to go into the field again. What you have written to Almeda about returning to the school gives me great joyand I hope you are earnest in your desire to do so. I suppose we may not expect you this winter although I find Harry has awakened that expectation quite generally. I suppose he did not intend to but prey one is so anxious that you should return that the least intimation of it is enough to make them certain it is to be so. I would love to say a great many things to you about it were you here. I forgot to say that Uncle Thomas met me at Cleveland and helped me very much. I was very grateful but felt that it was almost wrong to keep him from his business while the weather was so fine. He promised me he would come out and make a visit when I got settled. I did not get my photograph. I was in at Ogden's two or three times but he was busy and could not take it then and I had so little Jac in his last letter says he has received the appointment of Sargeant dating back to the first of September. Washington Nov 5th 1862 My Dearest Crete, Yours of the 29th was recd yesterday - and was read with all the new pleasure which your letters have brought me since I left home the last time. I have only time this morning for a short letter, but you will once in a while accept a letter deed for a large intention I know. The news this morng for the Elections is most disheartening. New York deems those gone succession - and several other States also. There will be a jubilee in Richmond the like of which has not been seen since the first battle of Bull Run. The rankest secessionists of N.Y. City have been elected to Congress - and the complexion of that new body is now involved in great doubt. It would not have been so great a calamity if the Armies of the Potomac had been driven in bloody & broken to the defenses of Washington - The nextsad new [of] is the death of Gen Mitchell on the 30th ult of Yellow fever. Our noblest and best seem to be swept away and the half hastens escape - If this news is confirmed - it it supposed this morning that Gen Hunter and I will be sent there at once, I hope before this letter reaches you. I shall be in possession of some definite knowledge of what I have to do. I have this morning a kind of feeling of desperation which would make me welcome fever within and rebels without if only I might see some light break in upon our poor bleeding and outraged country - she is made to bleed by her rebellious children and there is not enough heart and nerve in her faithful children to stand by & defend her. I feel what you say about the effect on my reputation to lie here so long - but my resignation would do no good. If I supposed this curse of idleness were intended as a slight to me. I would of course resign at once. But when I see it is the same thing with every Republican General in the army. I think it is our duty to bear a little longer and see if the President wont conclude that having failed to box up his enemies by kindness - he had better not drive away all his friends by neglect - I had a letter at the same time with yours from Esq Udall asking me to come back and in the school. I will answer it in a few days. as soon as I know the results of the late Elections or the War. I dont think I can [come] go home to the school at present, but I hope to be able to do so next summer. and if possible will do so. I am going out to see Gen Casey across the river and I havescratched this off to get it in the mail before I go. I think I've never had such a miserable letter from me before. Love to all. Do write me often. Ever & forever your James AC5516AWashington Nov 9, 1862 Dearest Crete - Yours of the 3rd is just received and read read with the same pleasure that attends all your letters - I am glad to tell you that I am at length assigned to duty - I go with Maj Gen Hunter to Port Royal - as the second in command to operate against Charleston and I hope, to [escape?] Fort Sumpter - If I may be an assistant in that work it will compensate for all this vexations and many delay which has kept me in inglorious idleness so long - I beg you not to feel alarmed in consequence of Yellow Fever of which Gen Mitchell so lately died - for it has never been known to continue with any virulence after the frost & set snow which usually come on by the middle of November -There will be many advantages of that climate during the winter season and I hope to be able to give you tropical pictures which will compensate for my being so far away - I do not yet know what day I shall set sail but it will probably be in two or three - possibly tomorrow - You may write your next letter to me here as usual unless you see by the papers that I have gone - If so send to Hilton Head S. C. Care Maj Gen Hunter until you hear from me again. I have drawn my pay again up to the end of Oct- and thought it best to invest it in a safe way - as I had no time to attend to loans with security with private individuals - I will explain the enclosed Bonds to you, so that in case of accident they can be made available to you - They are called Registered Bonds and draw 6 per cent interest payable in Washington in gold Semi annually - The first payment of interest will be made May 1st 1863 - and then every six months thereafter - They are "Registered" so that should these be lost - or destroyed - the money can still be paid on the register here - They can be sold - but when ever they are transfered - they must be sent here and transfered to the new purchaser - I got them in five bonds of $100 each so that part could be sold if necessary without selling the whole - You will have them carefully preserved - and remember they are not taxable - so that when the assessor comes around they are notto be taxed - So much for the bonds - I am glad you have got as near ready for house-keeping - I hope you are pleased with your purchases and arrangements - I have got Lt Stubbs - my old 42nd 2. M - appointed Capt and 2. M - & ordered to report to me and go to P.R. with me. I am sorry Capts Plumb and [Haton?] cannot go with me - I shall write you again by tomorrow or next day - Love to Trot and all the other young ladies of my acquaintance - Ever & forever Your James[*Williams Wash DC*] Hiram 7th Nov. 1862 My Dearest Crete It would not be well to let this bright morning pass without a few words to you since the return of our marriage eve draws so near that any longer delay would place the receipt of this beyond it. I am filling up the time now with the closest work-hoping that I may be able to date a letter the 11th from our own house. I want you to write me a letter then- a letter from your heart. The new upspringing love in my own heart calls loudly for a response. Though giving does not impoverish receiving doubles the life and the joy; and I love to [*259*]know every word of tenderness your heart would speak. Do not think I am begging Jamie. I ask for nothing your heart does not give most willingly. The Institute is passing very pleasantly, and profitably all think who are privileged to enjoy it, as for some I have not heard a lecture yet. I intended to go last night to hear Ernesto White but a miserable tooth ache kept me at home. I shall go up to day if I can: for I am extremely anxious to see and hear both Mr. White and Prof. Suliot They are both making a very fine impression I hear. I received the package of castes you sent. Thank you very much. Of yours the face of those photographed by [App] Turner Appleton's I like the best, but do not admire that style of finish as much as the light background. Almost every one thinks Ulke's No. 1 best. The eye is very much better but there is such a sickly almost death like look about the mouth that I do not like to look at it. Brady's full length I like very much. There is something very grand and masterful in the outline of your profile which pleases me, and makes me very proud of you. Very many of your friends I find like better the general view of your face. I like that too among your friends but when I think of you before the world one of its master spirits I like better the haughty impressions look your fine Grecian profile gives. (Your little wife never talks to flatter.)Saphy Williams is here and says "I wish you would ask Mr. Garfield to send me a card. I hope you will surely do so for we had a little joking about the probability of my asking you to do so. Thank you for having written to Joe. It will do him a great deal of good. I fear you have shown some injustice in spending so much indignation on the person[?} of your offending him; for I do think had you been faithful in your duties to him he would never have so disappointed your hopes. We are all made sad by the announcement of Gen. Mitchel's death. Mysterious indeed are the ways of Providence! His picture as well as his deeds show the earnestness and energy of a man we can ill afford to lose. - Your dashing little German friend makes a fine picture. Thank you for all the others also. All send love to you. Mother says ask you if you cannot compose for her [the] variations on the "Old Woman that lived in her shoe." as she thinks that the most appropriate song she can sing. With love and much hope for you. and kisses from your little darling Trot. Your own Crete.Washington Nov. 11th 1862 Dearest Cete — I take my pen on this quadrennial anniversary with mingled feelings of sadness and happiness. Sad, as I review the past, that it should have been so strangley, painfully, trying to us - who groped about in the darkness and grief trying to find the path of duty and peace - and being so often pierced with thorns - Sad - that so much of life which can never be recalled - should have been, by a kind of fatal necessity, devoted to a sadness almost bordering on despair - and that possibly those dark years may have left a residuum of bitterness - which the whirling eddies of after years may stir up and [*197*]mingle with the sweet waters of life - But I am also happy in the reflection that we were both seeking the path of duty and honor and that we each bore in silence many griefs - and each drank bravely and uncomplainingly many a bitter cup - Happy - that in those days we were each borne up by the trust that the other was of true noble soul - and however great the errors might be there was still integrity of heart - Happy, above all that this patient waiting and mutual forbearance has at last begun to bear the fruits of peace and love - & that the buds of this hope give promise of a harvest of calm joyful peace as we go down the lengthening shadows of life. I have watched the new hope with great anxiety, to see if it were a transient flower, or a perennial growth. I have rejoiced with trembling - and I will not, even yet, speak with that bold assurance that can lay all the future under contribution - yet as the days wear on, I rejoice more and tremble less. I hope strongly and happily that we have passed through the valley and shadow of that death which for so long a time we "tried daily". But I here pray you to be still ready to bear with me if [for] at any future moment my heart should for a time go down again into the deep - I do not say this because of any such experiences since I left you. I have had none. Were I with you today, I would let you see in my eyes and heart,that the cloud has not returned - It would be a great joy could I go with you today and occupy our first home - and tonight Kneel with you and Almeda around the new altar. I hope you have gone into the house today - I cannot tell you how I long to see our little darling Trot again. Precious little soul - - I have ordered a present sent you by Expess - in Commemoration this anniversary. It is now in New York City - and may not reach you for a week - I tried to have it reach you by today but could not - It will explain itself - I have directed it to be sent to Garrettsville & you may have to send for it there - Its only a little notion, but I thought you would be pleased with it -5/ I was to have sailed yesterday but news came that the Yellow Fever was raging there and we were orderd to wait - It will not be safe to go till the black frost sets in - Of course I don't want to take troops in where an epidemic is raging - but I was greatly disappointed at being again disappointed in getting into the field. I think however, we shall not be very long delayed. The cold weather - and snow we have had here during the last week, has I hope frozen the fever and so that it will soon be safe. My staff has not yet arrived - but will be here tonight. On the whole I am very much pleased with the proposed expedition and the place I was - and probably still am to have in it. It will give the government a great moral power to have retakn Charleston and Sumpter. & I shall be [*198*]glad to bear a part in that work. One year ago today I was just leaving the northern part of Ohio not to return again for three quarters of a year. Now I am near the time of leaving the northern Capitol to go where and how long I Know not - I try to look to our good Heavenly Father - and trust that what the next year brings forth may be in his honor and our joy - Pray for me - that I may not forget His mercies - but may be true to Him and to my own manhood in every place - Give my love to Mother, Father and Nell - I have recd a letter from Jo - but he did not acknowledge the rect of my letter to him - I hope he recd it. Do you know? Write me often, here, as usual - It may be weeks before we leave Ever and forever your James.Washington. Nov 16th 1862 My Dearest Crete, Your good, dear anniversary letter was recd last evening. Your mind I see took quite a similar track to that my own took over the glory and joyous past of our lives - I take courage and hope from your letter - and am made happy by the sameness of our reflections - - Since I wrote you last - I have left Mr Chases - and taking rooms and board at 119. Pennsylvania Avenue - so as to be with my staff - and keep their company in the strange city - till we leave. It was very pleasant indeed to be at Mr Chase's - and though I had the fullest assurance that [*199*] [*Wallace writes me about some trouble with Harry and the Institution note - What is the matter? Tell me when you will need more money. and how much. I am nearly hard up with my corns again. I am quite lame today I am wearing shoulder braces to try to correct my very bad habit of stooping - which has been made much worse by my sickness - My shoulders are quite lame today.*]my stay was a pleasure to them, yet I could not but feel that I was staying a long time as a guest by invitation, and so I seized the arrival of my staff as an occasion to get away. I suppose it is the same kind of morbid fear that I may be in some way an intruder that made me at times quite unhappy about being there so long, but I could not help it occasionally. But I think they really regretted my coming away. Mr Chase and I are about equal at chess, and we had been averaging five or six games a day for the last two or three weeks, and when I called on him night before last, he insisted on playing though quite a large company was present and we kept at it till eleven o'clock. Two members of my staff Capt Swaim A.A.G, and Lt. Lake are here but as they could not get the horses brought with them, they left Lt Farrar behind to bring them on. We expect him here by the middle of the coming week. There are as yet no indications as the date of our departure for the South. The last advice from Port Royal, show the health of the troops in Irving, and lead us to hope we may not be detained here long. It was no surprise to me, that you did not get into the new home by the 11th, for I Know many things there are to do in putting a house and its outfit in order. Then you "half expected me home." I suppose I should have gone but for my I [?] you that next Wednesday is my birthday - Tell Trot write in her book thenpride. I really had a struggle with it. I could not bear to be seen home again, without having been in the field first. And then, I could not have had any assurance that I could have staid two days. Thank you for the Election returns. I believe I have the largest majority of any one in any state - so far as I have seen. - Do you remember George A Packer of Vermont who was at the School several years ago? I met him here the other day and we Knew each other. I send his picture. Harry and Almeda will remember him. He is now a Lt in a N.Y. regt. I believe I told of meeting Edwin Gilbert a week or two ago. He is now Lt. Col. Jo writes me for my advice in reference to his trying to get a place in the regular army. What shall I tell him? Love to all. Kiss the bless[?] letter Only - for now. [?] you - James[*Willard Wash D.C.*] Hiram 16th Nov 1862 My Own Dearest Jamie: In our own first home I sit down for the first time to write to you. I am not entirely settled yet but have the lower room looking cozy and comfortable I have had a hard weeks work I assure you, and yet there is a great deal to be done before everything will be in order. Almeda comes over tomorrow and I hope by the close of another week to have made great improvements here. We shall be fixed very comfortable still the house would be very undesirable for a permanent home - the rooms are so very small -and Mr. Brown is very much smaller than his rooms. When you come home I shall tell you 271[*Hiram Wash D.C.*] Hiram 16th Nov. 1862 My Own Dearest Jamie: In our own first home I sit down for the first time to write to you. I am not entirely settled yet but have the lower rooms looking cozy and comfortable. I have had a hard weeks work I assure you, and yet there is a great deal to be done before every thing will be in order. Almeda comes over tomorrow and I hope by the close of another week to have made great improvements here. We shall be fixed very comfortable still the house would be very undesirable for a permanent home, the rooms are so very small and Mr. Brown is very much smaller than his rooms. When you come home I shall tell you [*271*]of several things I do not choose to trouble you with now. It was very amusing to watch the astonishment with which little Trot looked around on her new home when I first brought her here. But the next morning she very complacently claimed all as her own, saying "this is me's house". It is a great joy to me that she remembers you with so much love. She asks about you so often and says "I wish I see me papa" "Will papa come home to see me sometime". Just now she is turning over the leaves of a book and reading to her self, and only this moment whispering "papa come home". O Jamie my darling I do so wish you could come. I feel that I have risen up to such a high and perfect trust in you, and my heart so full of living love that you would be happy, happier than you ever were before with me__ were you here now. As your letter of the 11th was an expression of both joy and sadness, so does it make me both sad and joyfull--sad that you still almost distrust yourself, but very glad that you have so little reason for that distrust. Jamie should again I be called to that fierce trial for which you can ask me yet to hold my self in readiness I hope God may give me the strength I need. Of you I only ask try not to conceal it from me for you cannot and to see you try to do so only adds another pang. Your eye never deceives me I always know the moment it is turned upon and if the [?rest?] is before your spirit. My heart is full of breaking at the very thought of it. Let us put our trust in God with our souls greatest strength and pray to Him that this "rest and peace" may remain with us forevermoreWhatever the present may be you have sent me my heart will thank you for it with all its fullness of love. I scarcely know whether to joy or sorrow that you are still left in Washington It is a great trial to have you go so far away still I desire for you the pleasure and satisfaction which the service will give you. Word has come from the 42nd that you have written for it to go with you. I may wish [they] as would if the danger will be no greater there than where they might otherwise be. I hope you will write just as often as you can - both freely and fully of all your heart feels. It seems to me I never so needed you - never so desired you and your letters are the only compensation your absence can give Pray for me dear Jamie that I may be hopeful trusting and loving, and that you may be good and noble, and that you may be kept through all harm to return to us shall be the constant prayer of your loving Crete.[*Willards Hotel Wash D. C.*] [No 19, 1862] Hiram 19th Nov 1862 My Darling James I have just read again for your birth day chapter, and the beautiful impressions at first gaze all returned, and carried me back to many sweet resting places in life's journey. But for you to night I read it full of hope and trust that this new year of your life may be the most happy and prosperous you have ever known. I would love to write you a long letter tonight but for the weariness of the flesh, I sit here literally aching in every limb with fatigue. I don't think I have ever worked so hard as I have now to get settled in our new home. not complainingly I assure your I never worked morecheerfully, and we are now nearly through and ready to receive you We do want you to come so very much to stay just as long as possible My eyes keep shutting in spite of my desire to write, and I will only add the word [Harmon Austin?] left for you yesterday - He called just a moment. He says that the successful candidate is expected to pay part of the expenses of the campaign and that in Trumbull you are assessed $10.00, which if you will send to him he will see that it is rightly appropriated. - We received a letter from Joe to night. He had just received one from you for which he is very grateful. With much hope and many prayers for you that this coming year may be one of success and happiness I am as ever your loving Crete.Washington. Nov. 21st 1862. Dearest Crete - Yours of the 16th came duly to hand, and made me glad. I have not been very well for the past three days though there is nothing serious the matter -- unless it be the [n?]ill of idleness which is settling down upon me - It has been gloomy dull weather - My birth-day has just passed and that is almost always a sad day to me - and on the whole I have been sadder for four days than for a long time This has been heightened by being placed on another Court - (Maj Gen Fitz John Porters) which will probably keep us here a week or two - But I am not given to the blues - and you need take no trouble about it in the [*200*]least_ Let me once be at the head of a column with Harry between my legs and I can bid a gay farewell to blue devils and almost all other colored friends_ I am right glad to hear that you are in our new home - and you cannot know how much I desire to be there with you - If you could see my longing, you would not doubt my deep joy at the thought of you and Trot and our home_ I am humbly tired of this rambling way of life. I here live - how long! Always I may, say - Just now I am bored by a most pungent smell of rotten potatoes which has tainted the atmosphere of my room for the past three days - It comes from a grocery store on the ground floor below us. No wonder one of withered virgins of our family has the ague - -I keep out of the room as much as I can I am now writing the Court room - before the other members of the Court - rather Military Commission have arrived - Gen Hunter and I have been changed from the McDowell Court to this, because this can do its work in a shorter time than the other. I hope and believe by the time this is through with its work the Fever may be fully abated and the iron-clad gun boats ready to go with us - On the whole I am better pleased to go against Charleston - Especially as it is to be in winter - than to any other place in the army - Lt Forman has not yet arrived with the horses I hope he will do so todayIndeed I expect him. I recd another short note from Jo as he was passing through Cincinnati. He said the 42nd was on its way South I want to write to him again but I dont know where to direct. I hope you will tell [how] me what his address is Dont fail - I want you to keep a sharp eye on Mr. Brown. He will bear watching as well as any man in Hiram. I am sorry- very sorry I could not have been there to help you. I know you have had a hard time. Why don't Almeda write me? - I havnt heard from her for near two weeks. I hope she is well With much love I am your James.Washington Nov 23rd 1862 Dearest Crete -- I am sorry to tell you I am sick again -- not seriously -- but very provokingly and disagreeably -- For several days past -- I have felt dull heavy pains in my bones -- Especially my back and head -- and today -- I have a great deal more of the same with considerable fever -- They say that Every body that comes here from the north has to pass through a period of seasoning & the bilious fever -- and this 201seems to be my ordeal That you may not think it worse than it is I tell you the full extent of my ailment -- I am in a good deal of pain today and my head aches so & is so dizzy that I can hardly write -- But I am now taking medicine -- and I think shall be able to throw it off in a few days -- Thanks to you, that box of medicine arrived yesterday -- Dont feel at all alarmed -- I think I shall throw it off in a day or two -- I shall let you hear often -- Your good letter came in due time -- Keep writing to me -- You will pardon this brief note -- I am too unwell to write more now. Ever Yours James. Explain to Harry why I do not answer his letter done - J.A.G.