NAWSA General Correspondence Queen, Julia Alva-Wood Co, Oklahoma Dec-10th 1905 Dear Mrs Southworth In acknowledgement of your remembrance of me and the nice gift will write my thanks - Oh that I might write a letter you would enjoy reading - I am not in as good condition even as the commencement of last winter - all ready the weather is cool today real cold - I am with daughter and her husband She's not very well - we are in a 3 room house - my bed in the north room the living room best they could do - must be up until they go to bed - and I often would like to be in bed early The ride here was hard - and right away - had bowel trouble and cold so much daughter just now said - you must be dying She is nervous - and they both seem to wonder that I am not warm when they are If I could sleep a few minutes in the day. Was not looking for cold weather yet - the small coal stove has a good fire in the evening in a little while cold and most always get up once in the night I don't know as there is anything for me but to die - I have written two places to see if I cannot be more comfortable relieve them - no answer yet- if I am warm & rest at night can do many things so have written that hopeing I can pay my way I may be disappointed. How I wish we could meet so many are kind to me. My husband was a 32 degree Mason when he took that degree in Cin - he said before he started remember "I take this for you & our 2 [*Don't like this one sided way wish I could send something to you*] children-if in years you need help it's your due - I have asked and got $5 - an Eminent Mason good friend wrote Masonry is a sham - or the same -he had found it so - was a friend of my husband. This son in law means to be kind but now the fire is low & I do not feel free to replenish it- daughter often says it's plenty warm if it's too warm her ears [eyers] feel bad I wish I had planed better for myself Too late now was always thinking of my children now each have partners [*I thank you for your kind helpful thoughts *] [*& the glasses of what I have one pr. I can wear a lady friend's going to dispose of them & then can get a few things I need*] they seem different. Now if I could walk alone God can help me, and a few sisters gone make a little home together wish it could be done. My few things here crowded some boxes under my bed-and now so cold-but as I say maybe it's too late, daughter says if I die she [?wants] too, but I am sure I was not cold all day last Dec. as now. There is a great deal of Sun Shine here and I have pined for more of it. Suppose a Sun Shine home right here would pay you might tell some Physician. too bad that pain must increase because I am cold. You may think How she complains. With best wishes will hope to hear from you again. Many letters never answered. Your real friend, Julia R. Queen When my husband was living we were taken care of here - no little nook or porch I have to use water to go out to a privy 60 steps away So far have helped myself & never do I want to be in they seem different - Now if I could walk alone God can help me-and a few sisters & one make a little home together wish it could be done - my few things here crowded - some boxes under my bed - and and now so cold-but as I say maybe it's too late, daughter says if I die she wants too, but I am sure I was not cold all day last Dec - as now. There is a great deal of sun shine here - and I have pined for more of it - Suppose a sun shine home right here would pay you might tell some Physician too bad that pain must increase because I am cold - you may think How she complains With best wishes will hope to hear from you again - many letters never answered Your real friend, Julia R. Queen [*the house No good planning*] Littleton, N.H. Feb. 1, '64 Dear Miss Blackwell- Mrs. Queen has asked me to send these letters to you. It seems that the Masons could do more for her-perhaps that lodge is poor. I have tried to help her a little -but can't send her money. She has gone to live with her daughter-but seems more uncomfortable than before which is lamentable. Mrs. L.M. Southworth Mrs. L. M. Southwich About Mrs. Queen 5 any way good sleep & harmony. Some things said to me I can't endure. You may send this to Miss Alice Blackwell that kind good friend as she has been to me. I feel so poorly don't write much Maybe someone can help me but not make any more discord here. with fondest thoughts your friend Mrs. Julia R. Queen Miss Alice Blackwell No. 3 Park Street Boston Alva Oklahoma Jan 20th 1900 Dear Friend, Your good letter came tonight and I commence an answer to speak of the splendid apples you sent-and the other good things in the box your kind heart sugested-reproach myself for being so unapreciable but dear heart sleepless nights or those that gave me little rest-and body so disordered by the long hard ride-bowel trouble & no appetite was almost too much-and I do not forget the other things. Lately but but I may have written this before the paralysed side aches so as there is life why can't I be helped? I say of late this thought has taken strong possession of me. I ought to walk again if I only knew and was able to use the means - Would be so glad. Will you talk the matter over with a good Dr. all the muscles in my back seem to be working I want to be more independent-was a good housekeeper and now if I could sleep better and get around better I could do many more things than I do I was so much better before I came here have been troubled & not used to it I thought maybe I could have my foot measured here & have shoes made there if it would not cost too much Will you see? please 2 I am trying medicine for rhumatism for the first time-only commenced. I sweep-wash dishes make my bed & mend without a thimble (won't stay on). Does you and your son comprise the family? I wish I could see you & your home- as I cannot - wish I might have your picture-have some pictures of kind friends I have never met - Are you large or small I weigh about 110 pounds I guess 5 feet and I inch high-once had a heavy head of brown hair-now only a small knot of hair very little gray-and why is it not? I do not always want to speak of myself but to think I am in this state - & without there is help soon-- Well my bed is in this living room 3 small rooms- after supper soninlaw takes something to read - lights his pipe and when through with that commences chewing and gets the spittoon-and it seems as though I could not endure it. I try to air the room after they are gone-can't much it's too cold & I am sick and nervous and the beating in my head that I have had so many years- ever since I had paralysis worse 3 This letter looks very bad & I'm sorry kind friends try to help me-in a sunny room this is on north side & when such an uncommon thing for me to be sleepy but I want a chance to rest when I feel like it. I lie down on some chairs-always had a lounge-and as this is the only sitting room and my bed in it-do not want to lie down on it of course. Here are a few helpful line "Take short views of the road of life and say to the troubled heart- Be at Peace, all is right for this hour at least." Repeat this every hour and refuse to look forward to trouble at the end. Son & his wife at Faulkner-she in family way no place for me there-This soninlaw Black Smith no home-they want a baby & want me away-and I can do many things and want to & where can I go? A high Mason friend of my husband has tried to help me, but as much has written as much as to say Masonery is a fraud-Dues was paid and he stood well in Lodge & Daughter is not strong and we are unhappy together I wanted so much to try Hot Springs Ark for rhumatism Transcribed and reviewed by contributors participating in the By The People project at crowd.loc.gov.