>> From the Library of
Congress in Washington D.C.
[ Silence ]
>> Lou Beyer: Welcome.
My name is Lou Beyer and I'm a
D.C. writer and a regular viewer
for The Washington Post and on
behalf of the Post I want to
welcome you to the
National Book Festival.
We've got a great lineup
of authors for you today.
And this is one of the better-- one
of the best ones coming up just now.
>> [Inaudible comments]
>> Lou Beyer: Okay.
Okay good.
Anyway this is how
one writer begins.
As a child of the 1970's lying
on the living room carpet in an
apartment on Manhattan's upper east
side helplessly watching horror
movies of varying quality
and every sub-genre,
splatter, sci-fi, vampire,
Satanists and yes zombie movies,
the design of the zombie movies.
Is it any wonder that
such a boy should grow
up to write a zombie novel one
day and call it, "Zone One."
It shows what happens when
a plague of the walking dead
visits Manhattan.
Smart and brutal and in the words
of [Inaudible] covertly sensitive,
it's the book we might
have predicted
from such a child.
But, everything else that
came before the four novels
and the essay collection they
pack more mystery than horror.
Where did all these ideas come
from, all these protagonists,
elevator inspectors and [Inaudible]
consultants and a legendary
steel driver and a prep school
student fleeing to the Hamptons?
And how do you explain the unfazed
eloquence and the wit which surges
up when you least expect it?
Here is a recent piece
of sports reportage.
It's safe to say that the Olympic
torch carried over 8000 miles
by as many souls, by the young and
the old, by the lonely and loved,
by the faithful and the faithless
from Cornwall to Carlisle
to Chipping Campden
is a German factory.
[Laughter]
Should a literary novelist be this
amusing or so privately gifted?
I leave it to you and in
the same breath I ask you
to please welcome Mr.
Colson Whitehead.
[ Applause ]
>> Colson Whitehead: Lou, thanks
for a lovely introduction.
It's great to be here.
Last time I was here
it was three years.
I had 25 minutes and
the Q&A went long.
I felt really bad.
So, this time I'm going
to read for two minutes
and have a 23 minute Q&A.
I like to share a work in
progress whenever I can,
so I'm going to read some new stuff.
I realized a couple years
ago that there comes a time
in every writer's life when it
is time to edit an anthology.
So, a year and a half ago I
started assembling an anthology
on the writers craft.
I'm calling it, "How to
Write and the Art of Writing:
Writers Writing about Writing."
[Laughter] The idea is simple;
today's best writers on the topic
of their choice or writers
writing about writing.
One of the first people
to get back to me
when I announced this
project was Jim Phillips
who contributed the following
wonderful essay I'll share
with you, "How to Write."
Well, Jim Phillips, of course,
is the author of several works
of fiction including the novels,
"Can't Get There From Here",
"You Gotta Know When to Fold Em"
and the award winning colloquial
phrase I will use as a title.
Last year he published a plain
work of cultural history.
"Ding, Dang, Dong: The True
Story of Frere Jacques,
Methamphetamine and
Chronic Insomnia."
[Laughter] So, this is
his piece, "How to Write."
The art of writing can
reduced to a few simple rules,
I share them with you now.
Number one: A show and tell.
Most people say show, don't tell,
but I stand by show and tell
because when writers put
their work out there,
they're like kids bringing
their broken unicorns and chewed
up teddy bears to the
class in the sad hope
that someone else will love
them as much as they do.
And what do you have
for us today Marcie?
A penetrating psychological
study of a young med student
who receives disturbing
news from a former lover;
how marvelous, have a juice box.
[Laughter] And you Timmy, what are
you holding there behind your back?
It's a Calvinoesque romp through
an unnamed metropolis like much
like New York narrated
by an armadillo.
[Laughter] Such an
imagination, have a juice box.
Show and tell followed
by a good nap.
Rule number two: Don't go
searching for your subject,
let your subject find you.
You can't rush inspiration.
How do you think Truman Capote
came to, "In Cold Blood?"
It was just an ordinary day
and he picked up the newspaper
to read his horoscope
and it was right there,
fate, whether it's a harrowing
account of a multiple homicide,
a botched Everest expedition
or a family
of colorful singers seekers trying
to escape from Austria when the
Nazis invade you can't force it.
Once your subject finds you
it's like falling in love,
it will be your constant companion,
shadowing you, peeping
in your windows,
calling you at all hours of
the night, to leave messages
like only you understand me.
[Laugher] Your ideal subject
should be like a stalker
with limitless resources.
He's in your apartment pawing
your stuff when you're not around,
using your toothbrush and cutting
out all the really good
synonyms from the thesaurus.
Don't be afraid, you have a
best seller on your hands.
Rule number three:
Write what you know.
Saul Bellow once said,
"Fiction is a higher biography."
In other words, fiction is payback
on those who have wronged you.
[Laughter] When people
read my two books,
"My Gym Teacher was an Abusive
Bully and she called them
"Brussels Sprouts: A Survivor's
Tale", they're often surprised
when I tell them that there's an
autobiographical element to them.
Therein lies the art, I say.
How do you make that which is your
everyday into the stuff of art?
Listen to this, listen
to your heart.
Ask your heart, is it true?
And if it is, let it be.
Once the lawyers sign off
on it you're good to go.
[Laughter] Rule No.
four: Never use three
words when one will do.
Be concise.
Don't fall in love
with a gentle trilling
of your mellifluous sentences.
Learn how to kill your
darlings as they say.
I'm reminded of the famous
editor-author interaction
between Gordon Lish and Raymond
Carver when they were working
on Ray Carver's celebrated
short story,
"Those Life Preservers Are Just
for Show" often considered
the high-water mark
of so-called dirty realism.
You'll recall the climax, when
the two drunken fishermen try
to calm each other after
their dinghy springs a leak.
In the original last
lines of the story, Nat,
the salty old part-time insurance
agent reassures his young charge
as they cling to the beer cooler,
"We'll get help once we
hit land I'm sure of it.
No more big waves, no more sharks.
We'll be safe once again.
We'll be home."
If you visit the Lilly Library at
the University of Indiana and look
at Gordon Lish's papers
you'll see how with
but a few deft strokes
the editor pared that down
to create the now legendary
ending, "Help-land shark."
[Laughter]
It wasn't what Ray Carver intended,
but few could argue
that it was not shorter.
Rule number five: Keep
a dream diary.
Rule number six: What's not said
is as important as what is said.
In many classic short stories the
real action occurs in the silences.
Try to keep all the
good stuff off the page.
Some real world practice might help.
The next time your partner comes
home, ignore his or her existence
for 30 minutes and then blurt
out this is it and drive the car
onto the neighbor's lawn.
[Laughter] When your
child approaches
at bedtime squeeze their
shoulder meaningfully
and if you're a woman smear
your lipstick across your face
with the back of your wrist or
if you're a man weep violently
until they say, "It's okay dad."
Drink out of a chipped mug, a
souvenir from a family vacation
or weekend getaway in better times,
one that can trigger a two-paragraph
compare-contrast description
later on.
It's a bit like method acting,
but you'll get the hang of it.
Simply let this thought guide
your every word and gesture.
Something is wrong can
you guess what it is?
If you're going for something a
little more po-mo repeat the above,
but with fish.
Rule number seven: Writer's
block is a tool, use it wisely.
When asked why you haven't
produced anything lately just say,
"I'm blocked."
Since most people think that
writing is some mystical process
where characters talk to you and you
can hear their voices in your head,
being blocked is the perfect cover
for when you just don't
feel like working.
The gods of creativity
bless you, they forsake you.
It's out of your hands and whatnot.
Writer's block is like we
couldn't get a baby sitter
or I ate some bad shrimp, an
excuse that always gets the pass.
But, don't overdo it.
In the same way the
babysitter bit loses credibility
when your kids are
off in grad school.
There's an expiration date.
After 20 years you might
want to mix it up a bit.
Throw in a Ralph Ellisonian,
"Oops my house caught fire
and burned up my opus."
The specifics don't matter.
The important thing is to
figure out what works for you.
Rule number eight: Is secret.
[Laughter]
Rule number nine: Have adventures.
That Hemingway mode was
in ascendancy for decades
until it was eclipsed by
trendy fabulist exercises.
The pendulum is swinging
back, though, and it's going
to knock these effete eggheads
right out of their Aeron chairs.
Keep ahead of the curve.
Get out and see the world.
It's not going to kill you
to butch it up for once.
Book passage on a tramp steamer.
Rustle up some dysentery, it's
worth it for the fever dreams alone.
Lose a kidney in a knife fight.
You'll be
glad you did.
Rule number ten: Revise,
revise, revise.
I cannot stress this enough.
Revision is when you do what you
should have done the first time,
but didn't.
It's like washing the dishes
two days later instead
of right after you finish eating.
Get that draft counter going.
Remove a comma and then
print out another copy,
that's another draft right there.
[Laughter]
Do that enough times and you
can really get those numbers up,
which will come in handy if someone
challenges you to a draft-off.
When the referee blows the whistle
your opponent goes, 26 drafts
and you bust out with 317
and send them to the mat.
Finally rule number eleven:
There are no rules.
If everyone jumped off a
bridge, would you do it too?
No. There are no rules except the
ones you learned during your show
and tell days.
Have fun. If they don't
want to be friends
with you they're not
worth being friends with.
And most of all just be yourself.
Thanks.
[ Applause ]
>> And thank you.
So, I should probably
read from, "Zone One."
The book just came out last
year and paperback this summer.
It's about zombies, so it's my
second autobiographical book
in a row.
[Laughter] So, I'm going to start
my reading with the first page.
He always wanted to
live in New York.
You know just saying those words
reminds me of the day when I wrote
that sentence three years ago.
It's totally exciting
when you start a new book.
It's a time of optimism, excitement.
You're excited and convince yourself
this book is going to be great.
I'm going to be able to write.
I'm not going to fuck it
up like I did last time
and all those other times.
And then you sit down and
write that first magical day
and have your notebooks and all your
little drawings already arranged
along your desk and you look at
the blank page and you remember
that writing is one of the
shittiest jobs in the world.
[Laughter] Why are
you putting yourself
through this agony for what?
Everybody's going to hate
it like they always do.
And if you actually
remember how horrible it is
to write a book you would
never start a second one.
It's like having a baby.
I know some people don't like
it be compared to the miracle
of childbirth with
the creative process,
but I think there's definitely
some overlap between the two,
if only in terms of sheer agony.
Obviously I've never
passed a human baby
through my pee pee hole [Laughter]
but I figure it must hurt a
lot because a human baby is
like this big when it
comes out, so it must hurt.
I mean some women have two,
three, four, five babies.
You have to forget how much it hurts
or else you'd never do it again.
Okay, I'm going to start
back to my reading.
[Laughter]
You guys paid a lot of money.
So here's a proper
reading from "Zone One."
I'm going to take it
from the top again.
He always wanted to
live in New York.
And once again I find
myself distracted [Laughter]
by what a strange, strange
thing it is to write a book.
I'm not sure why I changed
things off of "Zone One."
It was the first time
I wrote a whole book
without showing anybody
a single word,
which is to me my blunder.
Maybe I was trying to recreate
some of the atmosphere of the book.
The psychology of the
characters were alone;
not knowing if they're
going to make it to the end.
Usually I get through the first
third of the book before I have
to share with somebody else
the first hundred pages
or first third just to get a
reality check that I'm not insane.
I'm writing a book about elevator
inspectors and check outs,
just tell me I'm not crazy.
And then if I get a little
validation I can continue
to the end.
With, "Sag Harbor" the
book I wrote before,
"Zone One" was a very personal
book in also having all sorts
of weird anxieties about
whether I could pull it off.
I see post-modernist
experiment with human emotions.
I wasn't used to having
myself out there so much,
so each time I finished a chapter
I would show it to my agent.
The book takes place in the 1980's.
There's a lot of 80's pop culture
in the book and my agent is British,
so I figured she'd be a good person
to try sections out on to see
if I'm using the pop
culture correctly,
if you know you could
reference this even
if you don't know what a
Members Only jacket is.
So, each time I finished a
chapter I would send it along
with some YouTube videos, music
videos or a new Coke commercial
to the part of, "Sag Harbor"
the opening of the Cosby Show,
you know opening credits because
the Cosby Show was a part of,
"Sag Harbor."
I remember I sent her the video for,
"The Message" by Grandmaster Flash
and the Furious Five, which is
full of bombed out Harlem streets
and rubble and she was very excited
because that's what she thought New
York looked like when she moved here
and by then it had been cleaned up.
So, with the bigger reading through
readers according to the strength
and weaknesses some people
are good at structure,
some people are good line
editing a nonfiction.
And you can't use the same
person over and over again
because they get sick of
it, because no one wants
to read your unedited five
hundred page manuscript.
I remember when I was writing,
"Sag Harbor" and I sent it someone
who had read a lot
of my earlier work
and she was taking her time
getting it back to me and I was sort
of freaking out because
the book was so personal.
And weeks went by and months
and then finally I was
like, have you read it?
And she said yes.
And I was like well,
what did you think?
And she was like, I think I like
the main character of Lila Mae
in your first book better.
And I said, you know this
character was basically me right.
[Laughter] And she was like, yea.
So, I said you know that
we're married right.
[Laughter]
And she was like, that's
what makes is so awkward.
I'm going to get personal there.
I'm going to start
reading from the top.
The book is called, "Zone
One", first sentence.
He always wanted to
live in New York.
Have I actually said
what the book's about?
I mentioned zombies.
Why zombies Colson?
We always had like a neurotic
hole in my consciousness ever
since I was a little kid.
I had very permissive
parents, so that's--
I used to watch a lot
of horror movies
and inappropriate movies
when I was very young.
I remember when I was ten like,
"A Clockwork Orange" came on HBO
and we all-- my whole
family watched it together.
It was like family night.
And I asked my mom, "Mommy, what
are those men doing to that woman?"
And she was like it's a
comment on society, shh.
And now my introduction for
Stanley Kubrick and the next year
when I was eleven I saw,
"The Dawn of the Dead"
which was rated X for
excessive gore.
And pretty much right after that I
started having zombie anxiety dreams
and I had them for
decades like once a month.
Some people have anxiety dreams
about leaving their notebook
in a cab on the day of the big
presentation or they're late
for an exam in a class
even they rolled in.
I always had zombie anxiety
dreams where they're fast or slow,
I'm alone or with a group
of English [Inaudible].
And depending on what's going
on in my life I escape or don't.
So, about three years
ago, it was July 4th
and I was having some houseguests
out on Long Island at my mom's house
that I rent and I woke up and I
heard them laughing and singing
and the only thing I could
think was can you please leave?
I probably shouldn't
have houseguests.
I was going through some things.
I-- my father had passed away.
I was starting to suspect
I might get divorced.
There were little things
like moving out
and getting a divorce
lawyer that tipped me off.
[Laughter] So, I probably should
not have been a host and I woke up
and I heard my friends' voices
and I wanted them to go.
The walls in this house
are very thin.
It's like a no sex house.
I always try to make that clear
before we have a holiday weekend.
The guest room is made up.
Can you bring some organic weed,
this is a no sex house,
we'll see you Friday.
So, instead of going down to see
my friends I just stayed in bed
and willed myself back to
sleep and I had a dream.
And in my dream I was living
in an apartment in Manhattan,
that's how I knew it was a dream
[Laughter] a nightmare in fact.
And I wanted to go
into the living room,
but I had this thought I didn't know
if they've swept the
zombies out yet.
And then I woke up and I thought
that's a real logistical concern
after the apocalypse you
know it was winding down,
the zombies are running off, but
had to get rid of those stragglers,
they sort of hang around
like bad houseguests.
And I started working
on the book that day.
And it was the first time
I got a book from a dream.
Usually I dream and you're like
half awake, you write it down,
it's like that's a good idea.
Then you look at it the next day
and it's like sex with my mother,
that's not probable [Laughter].
But, this time I got a book out
of a dream and I was very excited.
So, the book is called, "Zone One."
The first sentence is [Laughter] He
always wanted to live in New York.
But, ultimately being truthful
would be the first line
of my book makes me
think of is what's next.
You have to keep moving, trying
different forms, pushing yourself.
And I think because right now I'm
sort of torn between two ideas.
The first one I'll
just share with you.
It's a real departure for me.
It's a love story set on the
eve of the Russian Revolution.
There are a lot of
white people in it.
So, for research I'm watching
a lot of Golden Girls.
[Laughter]
Thought I'd watch that
and see how it goes.
And then the other idea
is a little more obvious.
It's science-fiction,
which I think can be fun.
Science-fiction, but
science-fiction specifically set
in the world of Star Wars.
I know George Lucas
is really protective
of his intellectual property,
but if you ask me how
to write an outmoded concept like
being happy or falling in love.
And I think that you know a lot
of his Star Wars films have a lot
of questions that are unanswered
and I think I could be helpful.
For example, in Star Wars, the first
Star Wars, they have a Death Stars--
the Death Star, which is like
a weapon the size of the moon.
And then they have light sabers,
which are literally
swords made out of laser.
And they have hyperspace.
It's faster than light
drive that can take you
to the other side of the
universe in half a second.
And yet R2-D2 can't get
a fucking voice box.
[ Laughter ]
[ Whistling sounds ]
>> He's the smartest character in
all the movies and he can't speak.
That's such a tragedy.
It's not a technological issue.
Luke Skywalker gets his hand
cut off, his robot hand.
Darth Vader falls into a volcano,
gets a whole new robot body.
The Death Star gets destroyed.
They make a new Death Star the
size of a whole planet this time.
And the R2-D2 cannot speak.
C3PO has a voice box.
He's running his mouth all the time.
Like when they land on Tatooine the
desert planet before they get picked
up by the Jawas, you remember are
sort of like space crack heads.
[Laughter] They find stolen
property and try to sell it.
And somebody asks them where
they got it they're all furry.
They're like where did
you get this land speeder?
Fell of a truck.
It's my aunt's.
I found it.
[Laughter] So, before they picked
up by the space crack heads C-3PO
and R2-D2 are wandering
the desert and C-3PO says,
"I dare say the desert
sands are burning my feet."
And R2-D2 goes [Whistling sounds].
But, you know if he
could speak he'd say--
he's actually saying Princess
Leia's been kidnapped.
I got a blueprint on
my shasta Death Star.
Darth Varder's trying
to destroy the universe
and this silly mother fucker's
like the sands burning my feet.
[ Laughter ]
>> So, I'm going to pick-- I'll
pick between those projects
and I guess I'm out of time,
so I cannot read from,
"Zone One" this time.
But, thanks for having me and
thank you guys for coming out.
[ Applause ]
>> If you have any
questions I'd love to answer,
actually there's microphones.
And thank you so much
for advice for me.
Like my new pants from
[Inaudible] group.
How do you like them?
Are they alright?
>> Pants, I really like your pants.
Alright I'll tell him now.
I wanted to ask about
the job of Mark Spitz
in "Zone One" which
I was big fan of.
I know you're very active on Twitter
and I think you're
hilarious on Twitter.
And his job is sort of this guy who,
as I understand it
sits on Twitter and
messages to people about coffee,
if they like their Starbuck's
coffee and their experience
and here's a free gift
card if you didn't like it.
So, would you be able to talk a bit
about what your thinking
was behind that?
>> Colson Whitehead: Sure.
I mean I wanted a really
good temporary job.
For me the book takes
place maybe like 2018.
Because I originally said I wanted
it to take place in the future.
And I am on Twitter a
lot and occasionally
if you make a joke about a brand,
you know someone from the Red
Lion sort of kind of will say
like bedbugs, what you know,
we'll give you a free voucher
for your next stay or whatever.
So, it seemed my jog as a
protagonist would be really current
and also talk about alienation.
And so, his job is to make forced
fate connections onto strangers.
So, if you're on Twitter or Facebook
you mention oh he needs a cup
of coffee, he's eavesdropping.
He'll send you a message saying,
well why don't you try our new
double latte you know blah,
blah, blah.
Here's a coupon.
And that's his job, just sort of
creating these fake interactions.
And so, in trying to think of what
in our contemporary world
makes us zombie like.
We're not zombies generally,
but where in our daily lives
are we sort of less than human?
Where are we cut off
from the people?
And it seemed that this kind of
a job as social media liaison
to big corporations still has
a certain amount of alienation
where you think you have a
connection and then you don't.
And so, then you know the people
I talk to on Twitter or talk
to me we're Twitter
friends and I have no idea
like what they look
like or who they are.
But, you feel you know them and
yet they could be serial killers
or whatever, you have no idea.
So, it seemed like that was a
good job for my protagonist.
Thanks.
>> [Inaudible audience comment]
>> I'm a librarian and I'm
a huge fan of your books
and [Inaudible] actually.
[Inaudible] Yours more actually.
>> Colson Whitehead: Oh, thanks.
>> I listened to, "Zone One" as
audio book and still sort of new.
Do you get, do you get to choose?
Do you get,
do you get a say so because I
thought you did a brilliant job.
You know and the zombie's
there and goes into
his memory of things.
And I thought God this
guy's brilliant because if
I was reading this
I don't know that I.
Anyway do you get some
input into that?
>> Colson Whitehead: Sure.
No I don't.
You know thanks so much.
I'm glad you like the books.
I don't. You know someone you know
buys the rights to the audio book.
I feel bad you know
for them sometimes.
Like I'm glad they did a good job.
I've read the audio book of
[Inaudible] and I would get
like stuck on words and had to do
ten takes for a word like deluge
or deluge, deluge and the
so I imagine you're going
like deluge, deluge, deluge.
And so, it gets terrible
so I [Inaudible] them.
And then the other thing like with
books like John Henry the 8th,
which has really sort of
long intricate sentences.
I use that for my book
that's good for meaning,
sort of generally humorous parts
and like there's some pretty
brass attitudes I use.
I'm really don't know
how to pronounce.
I learned that early.
And so, I feel for them
you know it is a real task,
so I'm glad they can pull it off
and definitely in their debt.
Howdy.
>> I really liked your series
from the World Series
of Poker on Grantland's.
Can you like talk about
that and explain some of it,
because I thought that was awesome.
>> Colson Whitehead: Sure.
Yea, that was a lot of fun.
Looking back it was one
of the-- I was one of--
I think it was one of the
few good series of my life.
I have been sort of depressed
ever since I went there.
I didn't want to go.
I don't really write about sports,
but I got this call from Grantland's
and they were just starting out.
So, [Inaudible] magazine
funded by ESPN.
And they're like you want
to write about sports
and I was like no I hate sports.
Then they're like well your
agent said you play poker,
do you want to come to
the World Series of Poker?
And I was like you know Las Vegas
is so hot and I don't ten days
and you're like what did they
say to you and you played
in the World Series
and I was like yes.
[Laughter] So, I only really played
in like five dollar buy in poker,
like home games are really mellow.
So, I got a poker coach
to you know clean me up.
I got a physical coach to get me
into shape for sitting motionless
for twelve hours a day [Laughter]
and then went to the World Series
of Poker and wrote about it.
It was great.
Since my fee was like the entrance
fee, so I was getting paid for it.
If I had been paid
while I was writing
for money it probably
would have been ten pages.
So, I was doing it for free and
it ended up like seventy pages.
That's like my novelist mentality.
And so, there's a lot of
stuff I didn't put into it
and my next book is going
to be an expansion to that
and so like a short book.
So, that's what I'm working
on now doing a lot of--
getting a lot of stuff
that didn't fit
into that 70 page article,
so thanks.
And if that's it, thanks so much.
Hope you enjoy the rest of the day.
[ Applause ]
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